[FIXED] Episode 50: Super Sneaky Bug....Not.
OK that camp looks pretty big and there weren't nearly enough hay bails to hide in so how where you going to get in? Being detected wouldn't be worth the 10% of info you where going to get (you being the LEAST observant changeling in existence the one thing drones where soppose to be) but what you DID needneed was ways to sabatoge them, tilt the odds in your, and more importantly the pony's, favor but how? Those buffalo would ki- no they'd DESTROY you so you being the flawless master of stealth you are, you use the simplest spell all drones know at magic kindergarten.(except you you'd learned it in an embarrassing tutoring session and that spell still drained you dry so you diddint use it much.) "Zoom" (incresses vision like whereing a pair of bonoculers. Also gives info about objects and living things in feild of vision also puts user in a calmer,more focused state of mind for the duration of the spell.) observe the scene.... Hmm.... No large brushes.... Impossible to blend...... No trees..... Some guy was suffering from sleep deprivation..... Place may as well be the royal prison.
You decide that the first thing you should do is to scope out the camp for a way in without being spotted by any of the buffalo. As you begin to look at the camp in more detail, you realize two things,
1. There is a surprisingly low number of hay bales and cacti for you to hide in and behind which is surprising because you're in a desert. And, if all those old western films you used to secretly watch back at the hive (ahhhh the good old days where you would secretly watch great films like Iron Mare, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Foal, and Mares in Black while not being hunted by every living thing on the planet) are right, then there should be a ton of hay bales and cacti nearby
.
Well, I guess you really can't believe everything they show in movies after all. You think to yourself in a deadpanned tone.
2. You realize as you scope out the camp is... that the camp is huge! And by huge you mean HUGE! If you didn't know any better, you would have to say that the camp was even bigger then Appleloosa.
How could I have miss this camp for so gorram long. What am I, a senile old blind deaf bug?!?! You think to yourself in annoyance.
Even if you can get into the camp undetected, it would take you hours just to find this "Spike" pony and the apple tree...
You just realize how stupid it is that you're risking your flank and your cover from the the mares, for a GORRAM APPLE TREE!
I swear if it weren't for the fact that this "Spike" pony and all of Appaloosa could be in danger I sooooo wouldn't be doing this. You think to yourself in annoyance.
You also decide to try and find out any information could help settle the pony/buffalo conflict peacefully. You aren't the brightest changeling, but you do know that common sense math says:
1 Big buffalo + 1 Little pony = 1 Dead pony
So maybe finding out the reason why the buffalo want to get rid of the main food supply in Appleloosa could help find a way to make a peace agreement between the two groups. Suddenly, you remember one of the few spells every self respecting drone learns in magic kindergarten *shiver* (Not the best year of your life). You, sadly, were the only bug in the class that had be taught by a tutor because you kept messing up the spells. The spell you just remembered drains your magic like crazy and leaves you with a headache, so you don't use it often (you don't use so often that you eventually forgot about it completely). If you remember correctly, the spell was called "Zoom" and it's supposed to increase the vision of someling like they were wearing a pair of binoculars. Sustain it long enough, and it's supposed to give you info about objects and living things in your field of vision and it also puts you in a calmer and more focused state of mind for about ten minutes or until you cancel the spell.
It's also supposed to be a incantation spell too, ugh what was it... oh yeah! You think to yourself in a excited tone as you remember the incantation. You breath in deeply and you close your eyes before you begin to chant the spell,
Give me the sight of an hawk
Give me the sight of an eagle
Show me what others can't stalk
Give me the power of... ZOOM!
As you finish the incantation, you feel your eyes become more powerful. You also feel a huge drain of your magic and you also feel the start of a mega headache (which you haven't felt since that hangover caused by that time you accidentally chugged down a whole barrel filled with a mixture of wine, whisky, beer, vodka, rum, gin, and tequila because you accidentally ate a bag of Mareolina Reaper peppers because you were at that party because you accidentally- Man, you have ALOT of "accidentally"-s in your life...). You slowly open your eyes to see... that the spell actually worked! You feel as weak as a, well... bug, but hey it worked!
Relearned Zoom
You use your newly enhanced vision to investigate the camp even further. Being the stealth master that you think you are, you think of everything you see and of any possible ways in...
Let's see... Some brushes: too small to hide in though... No trees at all, no duh considering this is a desert. Not enough cacti for me to run between without being spotted... Oh, a poor sap suffering from sleep deprivation. And- Hey are those three watching the new Pony-formers movi- NO! FOCUS BUGZE! Let's look over he-OH SWEET LUNA NO! GET A ROOM YOU SAVAGES! ARGH MY EYES, THEY BURN!
What you see is inpony, disgusting, and disturbing. What those two buffalo are doing should have them locked in the dungeon! They're... They're... THEY'RE PICKING THEIR NOSES! IN PUBLIC!!!
"Savages..." you mutter after you manage to divert your eyes from the horrific scene. After a few more minutes of scanning, you finally found what you're looking for...
You see Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and a little dragon surrounded by buffalo. You see your plan of attack in your mind's eye: a No Shadow Kick to the chief to knock him out of action, followed by a Shoryuken to the little one standing next to him. When you're in the air, you charge up your force field spell in the hope that it will duplicate your rapid descent when you arrived in Appleloose, creating a dust cloud large enough for the ponies and dragon to dash out of the circle while you heroically hold off the remaining buffalo.
This plan goes out the window when you see two buffalo crash into each other skull-first at top speed and burst out in laughter, brohoofing each other.
You see Rainbow, Pinkie, a... baby dragon? (Spike you guess), and the apple tree surrounded by buffalo. From how their mouths are moving, they appear to be talking to each other. You begin to plan out your strategy for saving them.
First, I'll 'No Shadow Kick' the chief looking buffalo. Then, I'll follow up with a 'Shoryuken' to the little one standing next to him. While I'm in the air, I'll charge up my force field spell and hopefully my impact will duplicate my rapid descent when I arrived in Appleloosa, creating a dust cloud large enough for the ponies and dragon to dash out of the circle while I heroically hold off the remaining buffalo.Yep, that's defiantly a foolproof plan!
You nod your head in agreement with the plan you thought up and are about to deactivate Zoom to initiate it, when you see something that crushes your plan into tiny pieces and then proceeds to throw your plan into a fire pit.
You see two buffalo run at each at other at (what you think is) full speed and smash into each other, skull-first. You expected them to faint from fracturing their skulls or even just fall over dead, but they just get back up, laugh at their little display, and then proceeded to brohoof each other. You feel an anime sweat drop begin to fall off your face and your eye starts to twitch in fear.
On second thought, let's stick with stealth. You think to yourself in fear.
You are just about to give up on infiltrating the camp, when...
So you decide that it's best to stealth it up. Just then you notice the cardboard box from Metal Gear right next to you, only it's now a wooden crate. (Metal Gear: Wild west?)
Welp your grand buggy always said "if stuff that makes sense don't work do something incredibly stupid!" Hmm crazey enough to work.... What's the dummest thing you could do without being spotted...... Hey Is that a box?
You remember some more advice from your grandbuggy,
"If stuff that makes sense don't work, then do something incredibly stupid! Now help me duck tape this here badger to the inside of this here cookie jar before the queeine gets back. And don't forget the gummy ursas this time!"
Ahhhh good times. It was also one of your best pranks yet (let's just say you ex-queen didn't know what hit her). But, back to the task at hoof. Your grandbuggy's advice might just work.
What's the stupidest thing I could do without getting spotted... You ponder.
As you ponder, you suddenly spot an old wooden crate that looks almost exactly like the cardboard box from Metal Gear. You then get a brightly stupid idea that just might be dumb enough to work.
What the hay, it worked in the past (I think), it should work now... I hope.
You depower your Zoom (giving you a slight headache due to the magic exhaustion) and you quickly scurry to the crate.
24 MINUTES LATER
The crate was a little broken, but after the application of some duct tape (you yelped like a filly when you found an angry Scorpion underneath the crate, but one panic-spray of WD-40 made the evil little bastard scurry off) it was good to go. So far, you've been able to sneak past almost every patrol without being seen (a few close calls, but nothing to worry about. Although you did REALLY have to resist the urge to beat one buffalo senseless with your vise-grips when you overheard him claim that The Last Spellbender movie was superior to the series). Finally, you see your targets. Rainbow looks as stubborn and hostile as ever, Pinkie is... well Pinkie (for some reason that explanation makes sense to you), Spike is chanting with some buffalo, and the tree... well it's a tree. Unless someling wanted to become a tree and that's why Applejack is so worried about the tree because it's actually a pony...
Nah. Who would want to be a tree anyway? You think to yourself in a confused tone. You are about to whisper to get the ponies' attention when...
It would be really funny in a buffalo decides to sit on the crate while Bugzy is sneaking around. "Hey, get off my crate!"
[!]
"Umm... I mean... pay no attention to the magic, talking crate. This is not the crate you're looking for."
A buffalo decides to sit on the crate that you are hiding in. You sigh in annoyance and say,
"Hey, get off my crate!"
You hear the buffalo gasp in shock and he must have gotten off of you cause you can move again, but then you realize you may have just blown your cover! In a desperate way to maintain stealth, you quickly say,
"Umm... I mean... pay no attention to the magic, talking crate! This isn't the crate you're looking for."
You say the last part while waving your hoof in the air, You actually hear Pinkie repeat,
"This isn't the crate we're looking for."
You are actually about to sight in relief, thinking that you got away with it, when your crate is suddenly lifted up off of you!
You look up to see the chief buffalo holding the crate! You laugh nervously and cough into your sleeve before quickly blurting out...
You match in saying, "Ah wanna know what's up with this whole gorram thing! Why are yew angry wit Braeburn and the rest of Appleoosa?"
"Uh... How!"
I think that's the traditional Buffalo greeting if those movies are correct. Stupid Bug! The Metal Gear box didn't work last time, what made you think now would be any different! you think to yourself in nervousness then anger at yourself.
"Ah wanna know what's up with this whole gorram thing! Why are ya'll angry wit Braeburn and the rest of Appleoosa?"
...
Just silence. They are just giving you blank looks. You have no idea as to what you should do. So you hope that an idea comes to ya soon...
What do you do?
Hey Hive Mind, DWC here. Still a little under the weather but I manage to cook this chapter for you guys and girls. Also...HAPPY 50TH EPISODE!!!! We made my friends. 50 episodes of "The Life of a Wanted Changeling". We may not have been featured (we probably never will) but this is an achievement in itself. I would like to thank all of you in the Hive Mind for sticking with me so long and for dealing with my miss days or late days. Lets continue to make this story great, random as heck, and funny to the very end!
Good job Kersey, I'll be there in just a sec*ROARRR* WHAT IN THE NAME OF LUNA IS THAT! *Looks at a monster combined of all the grimdarks that have been defeated, and it is huge and ugly* Kersey what ever you do...don't move an inch!
ForevertheDoctor and Magus, I'm sending a map of London, oh also watch your shadows. Apparently one of the Vashta Nerada hives followed Pinkamena to you guys. So watch your shadows and stay out of the shadows.
Yesterdays question answer is....
Ultimate Spider-Man is my fav
Congrats to Python of fire for suggesting this AWESOME cartoon show. I honestly like all the animated Spider-Man shows. I also really like Avatar: The Last Air Bender (the cartoon, NOT the terrible movie(Curse you M. Night Shyamalan)) and Wander Over Yonder (what it's good).
Today's question is...
What is your favorite Anime?
Come on my brothers and sisters of the otaku life style. Answer and be proud!
BYE!!
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To answer the question: Attack on Titan
You also might wanna include an Attack on Titan reference in the story because I wanna see what you come up with.
Quick! Transform into Pinkie Pie!
As the herds back away in shock, you turn into Rainbow Dash! Then into the little buffalo standing next to the chief (thank Luna she's small! You can't transform into the big ones!). After changing back to the original form they saw you in, you announce yourself as the tribe's Spirit Guide, and ask them again why they have an issue with Appleloosa. Let them know you're there to help them with their problem.
Favourite anime?
Dragon Ball Z. Just because it's obvious doesn't make it not true. Everything associated with anime is associated with Dragon Ball Z. Overly long transformation scenes? Check. Internet debates over canon? Check. Horrible dub lines over the original version? Check. Worthless filler episodes in which nothing of consequence happens? Hell, DBZ has entire sagas like that. Horrible, God awful, absolutely no-good live action movie? Oh boy, does it ever have that.
I want to turn Super Saiyan one time in my life. Just one time. I don't even want to fly or shoot chi blasts. I just want to be in a crowded room, or standing in a long line, and just scream in rage and blow everything away as I glow with power while wearing the world's greatest STFU face.
DBZ also still has the greatest moment in any anime I've ever watched:
Gurren Lagann is the best!
"Uh... You are angry with Appleoosa... Right?" You chuckle nervously. You then realize what a horrible idea this was and you know you have to get out of there fast! Nightshade pops out at an inopertune moment and ruins your plans. "Hey, daddy. What's up?" she asks smiling while the buffaloes stare in shock and horror.
4652355 Remember, you left Nightshade at Apploosa to eat all the "ammo" (apple pies)
UGHHHH SO MANY ANIME NOT ENOUGH TIME. But...here is a list of my top five
1) Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler)
2) Attack on Titan
3) Hetalia
4) Full Metal Alchemist
5) Corpse Party
Your genius mind develops the most intricate plan in the history of plans.
"HEY, LOOK A DISTRACTION!"
"Vashta Nerada. VASHTA NERADA.
HahahahahahaSH*T. Doctor, now would be a wonderful time for a plan."
You still have your hat and bandanna/scarf on, right?
Let's see, you're surrounded by a dragon, a crazy pony, a possible fillyfooler with anger issues, and a herd of huge buffalo...
ABORT ABORT AND TELEPORT! (After "LOOK A DISTRACTION!!!" of course)
If all else fails, do what any sane, professional, fearless changeling would do... "OH LUNA! PLEASE DON'T SCALP ME AND CUT OUT MY HEART IN THE NAME OF YOUR NATURE SPIRITS OR CHAIN ME TO A SLOT MACHINE IN ONE OF YOUR CASINOS AND FORCE ME TO GAMBLE AWAY ALL MY BITS!!!" you blurt out in a panic as you throw your arms over your head (That probably sounded REALLY species-ist, but you're too terrified to think straight and are just falling back on the stereotypes you've seen in the movies)
Retrieve Nightshade (then later have it revealed that all the pies she consumed were only HALF of Appleloosa's ammo supply)
Favorite anime is Code Geass. It has political intrigue and themes, morally ambiguous characters, a protagonist that can be described as a sympathetic and competent Cobra Commander, constant battles of wits between characters involving sci-fi tech and supernatural aspects, hot strong female characters, and of course, GIANT ROBOT ACTION! (Although the immortal classic, Cowboy Bebop is a VERY close second)
Don't worry, I won't move an inch... I'll dive several yards in order to throw the most addictively distracting thing I happened to find in this arsenal... A HARLEM SHAKE GRENADE (it forces whatever it hits to "Do the Harlem Shake" thus allowing us to escape)
4652441 I thought when she finished she went back into your bag... Gotta go back and check that...
Robotech. No question.
ATTACK ON TITAN/SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN
Now can I use Sword Art Online?
4653024
No. No duplicating answers.
4653115
But it wasn't allowed last time because it wasn't a cartoon.
KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN, FAIRY TAIL, AND, DETECTIVE CONAN!!!!!!
4652979
How good is Attack on Titan? I've been throwing around the idea of watching it,
I'm pretty sure i've watched certian scenes tho....i forget.
4653244 it's really good if you're into brutal equal opportunity killing. There's a lot of death and the story is really well done. The animation is pretty much movie grade. I really like it. Watch the first few episodes, see if you like it.
I gotta warn you, AoT uses blood like some other animes use flower petals.
4653123
And you had no way of knowing there would be an anime question. Of course you can use it. Who's going to stop you? Hence the troll icon.
And my comment got downvoted, so the community has spoken anyway.
So everyone is looking at Bugzy and he has no idea why? Staring contest! Go!
*Half an hour later*
Bugzy: "Well... this is awkward. Is there something on my face?"
Then he realizes his bandanna and stetson got pulled off along with the box, and Applejack pops out of nowhere to call him a varmint.
Man, at some point in this Appaloosa-arc, the buffalo should start up a casino.
By the way, congrats on your 50th episode! And dem references. Good gawd dem references!
OK dwc what are you going to do with the symble on bugsys cheast? its kinda just there. I have an idea where a group called the way of blue that exist in secret and worship luna explain what it does and that the symble marks descendants of the group and let's him use spells like dark souls's miracles and the super sain mode he went into and that they sent bugsie all that stuff and sent him Luna so they could protect her from a intelagent sub changeling species that feed of destruction mabey he has to stop them from trying to destroy eqestria by killing Luna 5 years after she's born. I dunno just don't let it sit there for gags I mean just give it some relevance to the story
You look around for a good minuet or two, No one says anything. You feel shiver fly though your body as you remember another saying from your Grand Pappy "When in doubt, sing it out." He whispered to you before saying "Play me off buggy! (Your Uncle buggy he was -if you can remember- was the hives best pianist)" As he danced away from the queen's personally royal guards (who were steaming mad and soaked to the bone wet). You look to Pinkie who gives you a wink, then you look to the chef before saying, "Play me off, Pinkie!" before dancing away(As well Pinkie for some reason has a piano to play you off, Pinkie being Pinkie.).
4654852
Kersey475, editor, here. I can assure you that DWC has something planned for that symbol...
Editor here with bad news for the Hive Mind. DWC just said that due to circumstances, there WILL NOT be a chapter today. Sorry.
4657489 stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/2431728/noooooo-o.gif
Bugze says s2.favim.com/orig/36/alrighty-then-funny-haha-jim-carrey-lol-Favim.com-292677.gif
4658820 ... OH GAWD WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!
favorite Anime? Bleach!
GREAT SCOTT! All of these STAR WARS REFERENCES EVERYWHERE!!