Note to Bugze: When we get time(after learning the communication spell), Start training with the force field spell so you can use it reflexively. This will save you from getting so many head injuries.
As you take off to help them, you decide to make a mental note to-self; For some strange reason you feel the need to practice your force-field spell so that you can do it reflexively. You have a feeling that that will save you from getting so many injuries and it will probably help make it stronger so that it won't break as soon as someling hits it, unlike how Applejack did that back at the apple farm.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh somepony please save us!" You hear Applebloom scream, and now you feel like crushing whatever is causing her to scream. You start to get the feeling that you should hurry up and save them, so you then say to yourself...
You don't care what it is, so far, Applebloom is the only living thing here that hasn't nearly murdered you
CHARGE!!!!
"I don't care what it is, so far Applebloom is the only living thing here that hasn't nearly murdered me, and she's the only living thing I've been able to have a actual conversation with (besides Zecora, Derpy, and Cadance)." You say to yourself in a serious tone. With that said, you muster up as much courage as you possibly and you charge though the bush while screaming,
"CHARGE!" *crash*
You closed your eyes while you charged, so you were surprised to smash into something and even more surprised when you heard a chicken scream upon crashing into... whatever it is that you crashed into. You open your eyes to see that you crashed into a... chickzard? You swear it looks like a half-chicken half-snake/lizard creature.
Whatever it is, it must be whats been causing the CMC to be screaming. You think to yourself in a serious tone. Speaking of the CMC, you see that they are hugging each other with the look of pure terror in their eyes. Their eyes widen in shock and awe, and the white unicorn filly ask you a scared tone,
"Who...who are you?"
You smirk with confidence and you respond to her question with....
Bugzy: I am the best there is at what I do. But what I do isn't very- Oh wait, darn it!
I second "Minds Eye"s hilariously excellent suggestion:
You run to fillies, shouting "Never fear! Your friendly neighborhood... wait, that's been used before hasn't it? Ok, ok, I am vengeance! I am the night! I! AM! BEXZUG! Wait-"
But modify it a bit to :
You jump in front of the fillies, shouting "Never fear! Your friendly neighborhood- wait, that's been used before hasn't it? Ok, ok, I am vengeance! I am the night! I! AM! Wait, that's been done too. Oh oh, I know: I am the shadow that flaps in the nigh-"
CMC: "JUST SAVE US ALREADY!!!"
"Never fear! You friendly neighborhood- wait, that's been used before hasn't it?", you ask three fillies in a confused tone. The fillies give you a confused look and they just shrug. You then remember that that was Spider-mane's introduction, so you quickly think of another intro you could use,
"Okay, okay, how about I am vengeance! I am the night! I! Am! Wait, that's Batmare's intro isn't it." You say to the filly's in a annoyed tone. Surprisingly, the white unicorn is the only one to shake her head 'yes'. You sigh in annoyance and you try a different intro,
"I am the best there is at what I do. But what I do isn't very- Oh wait, darn it! That's Wolverines intro isn't it." You say more to yourself then to the fillies in an angry tone. By now the chickzerd has gotten up and it looks super mad.
After a few seconds (ignoring the now approaching chickzerd) you finally think of the perfect intro.
"Okay this time I totally got it. Ahem, I am the shadow that flaps in the nigh-"
"JUST SAVE US ALREADY!" The CMC cry in the middle of your intro. You sigh in annoyance and say in a dejected tone,
"All right all right, sheesh."
You look over to the chickzerd and you look right into it's eyes. The chickzerd seems to give a triumphant grin (somehow even though its mouth is a beak) and then its eyes begin to glow red. You begin to wonder how it's doing that, but you suddenly hear the CMC scream again. You try to turn around and find out why they're screaming, only to realize that you can't move at all and that you can't stop looking into the chickzerd's eyes. But, you finally figured out what was going on when you heard Applebloom scream in a panicked tone,
"LOOK! THE BOTTOM OF HIS COAT IS TURNING TO STONE!"
Your eyes widen in shock, but you decide to crack a joke to keep yourself and the CMC from panicking. You can't look over to the CMC so you just smirk at the chickzerd and say...
When faced with the Cockatrice, it must look you in the eyes, and when it begins to petrify you should turn to the fillies and snicker,
"You see kids, this why you should never get...STONED! YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
"You see kids, this is why you should never get (*pause for dramatic effect*) STONED!"
As soon as you finished saying that you hear someling scream "YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!", another yell "BOOOOOOOOOOO, YOU SUCK!", and you also hear the fillies behind you groan at the terrible pun you just made.
Not my best joke I admit, but it felt like it would fit pretty considering I'm about to turn to ston- WHAT!
You just realized that you are about to be turned to stone and you will probably suffocate due to the fact that statues can't breath. So, you do what anyling would do if this was happening to them...
and in panic you scream.
"OH HOLY MOTHER OF CELESTIA, SWEET BUTT OF LUNA, DEAR ZEUS'S THUNDER, BY ODINS BEARD AND EVERYTHING ELSE HOLY HEEEEEEEELLLLPPP!"
You scream like a little filly,
"AHHHHHHHH OH HOLY MOTHER OF CELESTIA, SWEET BUTT OF LUNA, DEAR ZEUS'S THUNDER, BY ODINS BEARD AND EVERYTHING ELSE HOLY HEEEEEEEELLLLPPP!"
You don't know why you said 'sweet butt of Luna' but you don't care right now, because you can't even scream because your mouth is now stone. The last thing you see before you turn to stone completely is the chickzerd smiling a curled smirk. You also see out of the corner of your vision the CMC crying and shaking in fear... then darkness.
So....this is how I die...turned to stone by a chickzerd. Huh, I always thought that lady luck would do me in. You think to yourself in sadness as you slowly start to lose consciousness. Then suddenly an image of Nightshade flashes in front of you.
No *crack*
Then a image of Cadance and you smiling and dancing flashes in front of you.
Not yet, not like this *crack* *crack*
Images of Derpy, Zecora, and even Rarity flash before you.
I can't, I won't leave them behind! *crack* *crack *CRACK*
Finally, the images of the CMC crying and shaking in terror flash before you.
I WON'T LET IT HURT THEM IF ITS THE LAST THING I BUCKING DO!!! *CRACK* *CRACK* *CRACK* *CRACK* *CRACK* *SHATTER*
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" With a powerful war-cry, you break free from your stony prison. The CMC look at you surprised and the chickzard looks at you with surprised fear as well. It tries to look you in the eyes again, but you don't give him the chance. You leap at the chickzard and scream,
"NO SHADOW KICK!!!" and rapidly kick the chickzard at least a dozen times before the final kick sends it flying into a tree. The chickzard looks like it's out cold, but it suddenly gets back up and tries to charge at you! You quickly respond by shooting it with the stun spell causing the chickzard to fall forward on its own momentum and crash headfirst into a rock knocking the creature out cold.
You give out a sigh of relief that the pest is finally unconscious. You look over to the CMC to see... that their mouths are wide open and that they are frozen in awe. The orange pegasus asks you in a nervous tone,
"Who... what are you?"
You think you finally have a good intro so you try it out,
"I'm the one who watches over the innocent! I'm the one who protects those who can't protect themselves. I'm the shadow that follows those who's path they follow is the path of evil. I am the usher who guides you to your chair! I! Am-"
"Oh my!" You sigh in annoyance at the fact that your intro was interrupted. Again! You look over to see who interrupted you and see... Fluttershy? She's starting right at you and you have a feeling that it is about to get very awkward soon. So....
What do you do?
Quickly explain to Flutters that you were not the one terrorizing the CMC. Then ask if you can join them for hot coco.
Also, I love how there's a mini-story going on in the comments and your author's notes. Such randomness makes me happy.
Explain to Fluttershy about the chicken thing.
Also, Hooded Offender.
Your eyes widen. Oh no. She's a crazy animal lover isn't she? You manage to choke out.
"Um. Um. Um. Umumumumu-uhhhh I...I TOTALLY didn't just mercilessly injure that rare mythical creature, no. (Ehem....)" You kick the battered Cockatrice body away and laugh nervously.
(Eyes widen) Really? REALLY?!?! THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SOME NICE INFORMATION TO KNOW BEFORE HAND, DWC!!! (Sighs) ok, Magus, and Kersey if you're still alive and with us. I believe it's time we get the hell out of here. Who's with me? And a decision would be nice. (Pinkamena screams in anguish and crawls towards us, splattered in blood)
LIKE, NOW.
The Hooded Offender
"Uh, hi"
*Fluttershy mumbles hi back*
*Akwardness Intensifies*
4561363
*pops electric smoke to slow down Pinkamena again*
"Well, getting out of here seems like a Grand Idea. Only thing is I think we are lost again... Wait I have an Idea!"
*Pulls up Google Maps and searches for the fastest route out of DWC's mind*
"Huh, that actually worked. Take a right here."
*Starts running towards Multiverse Fics, following the directions from Google Maps*
4561888 (Le epic doctor who theme plays in the background) just a little farther! If we just keep running we'll make it! (Shoots Pinkamena in the face as she tries to crawl towards us) go on ahead! I'll slow her down! I'll catch up when you make it!
Fortunatly either the CMC tell Fluttershy you saved them or Fluttershy already saw.
Something happens that causes your hood (and/or coat) to come off revealing you as a changeling. The yellow pegasus runs at you and you brace yourself for more pain as Apple Bloom says something like "Fluttershy! Wait-!"... but the Pegasus tearfully tackle-hugs you and says how happy she is that you're okay. After cheering up the crying Pegasus, you now have 3 more friends who don't hate you for being a changeling!
You suddenly get blasted by a magic beam from out of nowhere by a no-longer-stone Twilight! (for the sake of continuity and the timetable of the episodes, Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack split up to look for the hooded changeling (aka Bugze) after he teleported away from the library and that's how Twilight ended up frozen by a cockatrice in the forest), but fortunately, Fluttershy and the CMC come to your defense (especially Fluttershy telling Twilight that you're the changeling who saved her from being crushed by a boulder, took on a DRAGON for them, and recently saved the CMC)
NOTE: Feel free to reverse the order so that Twilight's magic blast knocks off Bugze's hood leading to the Fluttershy tackle-hug moment.
You realize that since Nightshade is also a blank flank, she can also be friends with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. While nopony is looking, you have your 'daughter' put away her armor so she can blend in more and the filly also decides to hide her wings and/or horn with a spell because an alicorn filly would attract ALOT of attention...
-You know what, let the Hive Mind decide whether Nightshade should disguise herself as a Unicorn, Pegasus, or Earth Pony.
Hooded Offender, AWAY!
--------
DWC, I'm at the abandoned castle (that lightsaber is REALLY useful for cutting through sentient vines). Standing by.
Also, MagusBlack and forevertheDoctor, DWC said not to cut their limbs off. He never said anything about targeting the joints and leaving the rest of the limb intact.
4562767 Uh...You might what to look behind you. Remember when I said not to get caught by the ponies. Welllll...you got caught. Just...just look behind you.
4562712
"Are you crazy? Am not leaving you behind!"
*Turns around and opens the Titan's cockpit*
*The distinctive sound of the Railway Rifle(Fallout 3) is heard*
*Pinkamena gets pinned to the wall, right thur the torso*
*Hop out of the Ogre dressed in Titan pilot's gear*
*Sets the Titan to guard mode*
*grabs the Doc and starts running*
*About minute and a half later: "Pilot, your Titan is down. We will have another one ready in three minutes"*
"Well that lasted longer than I thought it would..."
4562918
*(Said without turning around)* "What!? I was being completely stealthy!" *Nonchalantly slices another vine with lightsaber*
"Partner, a box labeled 'Totally not a disguise' and a loud orange light stick ain't exactly stealthy"
"Maybe if I ignore them, they'll think I'm just a hallucination and go away."
"We can still see you and you're talking out loud."
"Uh... Hey look, a distraction!"
*Puts down disguise box, fires off a smoke grenade (diversions within diversions, DIVERSION-CEPTION!), dashes into a dark hallway opposite of smoke grenade (where the Mane 6's attention will be drawn/split to either the box and/or the smoke), and jumps down a chute while the Mane 6 are distracted*
"Need an exit DWC!"
hooded offender
when bugzee if he gets sexualy invuled with someling either start it by facesitting or they start to think of each other in partnership via facesitting. and they both like faesitting so there gonna be a lot of facesitting.
for the next chapter twilight blasts you making your hood fly off and fluttershy tacklehugs you. then you get the cutiemark crusaders and fluttershy as friends that don't care if your a changeling. twilight is at disliked for your likeness rating meaning you still got work to do to make friends with twilignt
hooded offender
4565083 Let me see...Ah ha! There should be a exit to your left, you just need to get past the...ponies, Welp...your dead.
4565335
Fortunately, my diversions worked and the Mane 6 split up to search the castle so the only one I need to get past is Pinkie Pie. This will require all of my intellect and cunning...
*Throws a conveniently placed piece of armor*
"Oooo, shiny!" *Runs after piece of armor*
I'm going through the exit. Awaiting further instructions.
4563211 (shooting star in the distance) "THE MOOORE YOU KNOOOW"
(rolls eyes) what's THAT doing here?! Whatever, just...just hurry! Pinkamena's getting back up again! And she looks PISSED.
4565421 Oh shoot LOOK BEHIND YOU! It's stinking Discord! Okay if you don't move there's a slight chance that he won't see you. f not and he does see you then....RUN LIKE HELL!!!
PLZ FIX THE QUOTE TAG
Also: doesn't this mean that twilight is still in stone?