HUGZ, HUGZ FOR EVERYONE
You remember the time you were at the castle when you first met Cadance. She was acting just like Trixie (for different reasons of course). You remember how you cheered up Cadance with a song and a hug. Since you can't think of any songs that could cheer her up, you decide to do the next best thing. You walk over to her slowly, but she flinches with fear when you approach.
Now why woul-Oh yeah. Most wanted fugitive, right... You think to yourself in understanding. You finally reach her and you look her in the eyes.
Those eyes... so much sadness... You think to yourself in sympathy. You then do what you planned to do to her...
You hug her. She gasps in shock and tries to break out of your grasp, but you hold on tight. You then start to say to her...
"Oh, um, hey, it's ok that I don't know who you are...I'm kind of a hermit." You confess in an attempt to console the unicorn in tears. Trixie wipes her eyes and raises an eyebrow at you suspiciously.
"A hermit with friends?" She asks sceptically. You realize she must be talking about Nightshade. You start to think fast.
"It's...a group. Hermits United. We gather around, and share stories about...caves. It's lots of fun. For a hermit." You explain. You can see a faint smile playing at Trixie's lips. You let out a breath in relief. At least she isn't sobbing anymore. You hold out your hoof to Trixie.
"Hey, you know what? I'm on the run. I need help. And right now...I need a great and powerful pony. And you seem like a great option. Come with me. We can clear my name and travel across Equestria. I can make sure you see your name in lights. So what do you say?" You ask with a confident smirk on your face. Trixie's eyes were wide with wonder.
"There there don't worry. it's okay that I don't know you."
"How *hic* is it okay that you don't know who Trixie is?", she says still crying, but no longer struggling against your embrace.
You think quickly for a reason that won't make her terrified of you or make you look like a complete idiot.
I could say... nah that won't work. How about...no no no no that won't work either.You think to yourself in confusion. You then think of a completely, utterly, ridiculous idea, but hey, ridiculous ideas usually work out well for you (more or less...) So you look her in the eyes and say,
"I'm kinda a hermit you see."
Trixie wipes her tears and raises an eyebrow at you suspiciously and says "How can you be a hermit if you have friends?"
You start to wonder how she even knows that you have friends, then you remember how you screamed Nightshade's name at her a few minutes ago. You chuckle in in embarrassment and quickly say,
"It's... It's a group. Hermits United. We gather around, and share stories about... caves! It's lots of fun. For a hermit."
You can see a faint smile playing at Trixie's lips. You let out a breath in relief and release her from the hug.
At least she isn't sobbing anymore.
You momentarily glance at your wanted poster and suddenly you think of a great idea that will benefit both you and her. You hold out your hoof to Trixie.
"Hey, you know what? I'm on the run. I need help. And right now... I need a great and powerful pony. And you seem like a great option. I can make sure you see your name in lights. So what do you say?" You ask with a confident smirk on your face.
Trixie's eyes were wide with wonder. You don't like to lie, but you do admit it sure does help you get out of some bad situations. Trixie seems to be buying it and she asks,
"Pray tell, what is your plan to get Trixie's name to be know across Equestria?"
You already have an answer for that, so you put your hoof around her and dramatically wave you other hoof in the air while telling her...
by asking if she wants money out the wazoo. You'll let her take you to the Royal Guard for the reward money. In return, she helps you escape and gives you half the cash so you can pay off your debt to the Doctor.
"You, madam, will be know as the mare who captured the Hooded Offender!"
Trixie looks at you in shock so you decide to continue your idea.
"So here's how it's gonna work. You and me are gonna travel to a town called Ponyville. When we get there, you'll perform a magic act or something like that. Then halfway though the act you will say the code phrase 'surprise'. Then I will pop out and we would pretend to fight. You'll win of course and hand me over to the Royal Guard and get the reward bits."
Trixie smiles and you swear you heard a "cha-ching" sound and see bits in her eyes as she nods her head at the idea. But then she asks,
"What about you? What do you get out of this?"
You smile at that and say,
"You see my dear, I have recently come into debt with a very powerful pony, and these reward bits will save my flank. So alls ya got to do is break me out of the slammer and then we split the dough 50-50. Savvy?"
You can't help but feel like Captain Jackal Sparrow from The Pirates of Horseshoe Bay movies.
Trixie thinks about it for a few moments,
"You would really be willing to do that for me?"
"Of course." You reply
Trixie gleefully hugs you and says,
"Alright you have a deal." And with that, your journey to Ponyville begins.
DAY 1
Seeing as how Twilight can temporarily disable spell-casting, you decide to expand your arsenal by reading "Kung-Fu For Dummies" and learn "Shoryuken" (a launcher) and/or "Falcon Punch" (powerful single punch)
You decide to spend the first day of your road-trip learning some new moves from "Kung-Fu For Dummies".
If Twilight can disable magic, then I'm gonna need non-magic-based attacks to defend myself and Nightshade.You think to yourself in a serious tone. You don't want to fight them, but if they threaten to hurt Nightshade or do something drastic, then you don't really have a choice in the manner.
Besides, it'll make our 'fight' look more exciting.
You read up on the attacks 'Shoryuken'and 'Falcon Punch' before you went to bed last night, so today you're practicing then while you guys stop for a rest. You've been practicing on a tree for the past three hours (and have the bruises on your hooves and head (from acorns, branches, and even a squirrel falling on you) to prove it). Trixie came by and even helped you practice as well. After some more practice, you and Trixie decide to relax and share some stories about each others lives. You even told about the time you accidentally walked into the female bathroom back in school, and you never told anyone that secret!
I can really trust her. Sure, I have to keep Nightshade and the fact that I'm a changeling a secret, but I definitely trust her to go through with our deal and save me. You think to yourself in a confident tone as you and Trixie share a laugh over her story about a mishap with wheels.
Learned "Shoryuken"
Learned "Falcon Punch"
DAY 2
Today you decide to practice your forcefield spell with the help of Trixie (who you trust even more now) who throws acorns and *shiver*bowling balls (why does she have so many) at you. You can now do the force field spell on command and it's stronger, but you did get alot of bruises and the blowing balls did fracture your skull a few times. You're fine now and don't appear to have any serious signs of blain damage-amage-amage-amage-amage-amage...
DAY 3 FINAL DAY
Take Nightshade for lunch at a nearby "Olive Grotto" for their "endless soup, salad, and breadsticks for 7 bits" deal (in disguises though with Bugze's shape-shifting and Nightshade putting away her armor and disguising herself as a unicorn)... then find out it was a lie as you're both kicked out after the filly devours 9 pitchers of raspberry lemonade, a dozen bowls of salad, all of the restaurant's tomato soup, mushroom soup, and broccoli cheese soup, and more breadsticks than you've had splinters while you merely had a simple melted mozzarella sandwich (Bicycle Thieves (1948) reference FTW) with a glass of water (at least you didn't have to pay since while kicking you out, they forgot to give you the check)
Today's the last day on your road trip before you reach Ponyville, so you decide to spend some daddy-daughter time with Nightshade.
The poor thing hasn't seen me since that incident at the castle, you muse as you take ‘The Inventory’ and go into the woods near the small town (Trixie is out getting supplies and won’t be back until after dark).
When you've made sure noling is looking, you take the sleeping filly out of ‘The Inventory’ and gently wake her up.
“Er, who turned on the su- DADDY!”
The little filly pounces on you with a crushing hug and starts speaking so fast it would put Pinkie Pie to shame.
“DaddyIwassoscared! ThemeanblueponyscaredmeandIthoughtyouweredeadandtherewasthisblueboxthatwasbiggerontheinsideandthentherewasthisscaryflyingtownbutthenicegreyandbrownponiesgavemecrayonsandasnack!Didyougetmydrawing?!”(*)
You teleport out of Nightshade’s death hug before she could suffocate you, but you just as quickly hug the little filly.
“It’s all right, Nightshade. I got your drawing and I’ll always make sure noling ever harms you” you reassure her.
Nightshade smiles and says,
"You're my hero daddy. I love you."
You can't help, but smile at the filly's love for you.
*growl*
“Can we eat something Daddy? I’m REALLY hungry.”
You shake your head and continue smiling as you take off your awesome coat and put it in ‘The Inventory’ and shape-shift into a brown Earth Pony (still no cutie mark though…). You wish you could keep the coat on, but that would blow your cover.
Thankfully, Trixie taught you "Transformation"yesterday (speaking of that, Learned "Transformation") after you trained the force field spell so you transform Nightshade into a unicorn filly version of herself.
You both go into town to find something to eat as Nightshade excitedly takes in the sights.
This is turning out to be a lot harder than I thought you think to yourself. Nightshade has a huge appetite and I'm really low on bits.
Fortunately, you both come across an "Olive Grotto" with a board outside that reads,
Endless soup, salad, and breadsticks! Only 7 bits!
Jackpot! It may take a huge chunk out of my remaining bits, but it’s ENDLESS!
Sadly, the “endless” part of the deal turns out to be a big fat lie! You both get kicked out and banned from "Olive Grotto" for life after Nightshade devours 9 pitchers of raspberry lemonade, a dozen bowls of salad, all of the restaurant's tomato soup, mushroom soup, and broccoli cheese soup, and more breadsticks than you've had splinters (Luna, that filly can eat...) while all you had was a simple melted mozzarella sandwich and a glass of water (which for some reason gave you the sudden urge to sing about wanting one).
Luckily you didn't have to pay since they were in such a rush to kick you both out that they forgot to give you the check. But, you did get to give a comment to the owner of the place. If you remember correctly, you told him in the most affable, polite, and cool-headed manner,
"IF YOU PUT 'ENDLESS' IN THE STINKING DEAL, THEN DON'T BE SURPRISED IF A LITTLE FILLY EATS HALF OF YOUR STOCK YOU LOUSY EXCUSE OF A DEAL MAKER!"
PONYVILLE
Okay. This is it, I sure hope this works. You think to yourself as you prepare to "attack" Trixie.
You put 'The Inventory' (with Nightshade sleeping in it) in a closet full of saddle bags. You decide it would be the best way to keep your daughter safe in case this scheme goes badly.
"Is anypony else ready for a humongous, spectacular surprise!"
That's the signal! You put your hood on, take a deep breath, and you teleport in front of the showpony...
What do you do?
Trixie wastes no time being the show pony that she is. She let's out an exaggerated gasp.
"(GASP!) Oh no! It's the deadly, dangerous, and dare I say UGLY wanted fugitive, THE HOODED OFFENDER!!" Trixie screams. You sort of just stand there awkwardly as the crowd stares wide eyed at you. Trixie glares at you and hisses under her breath.
"Put on a show!"
Your eyes widen. Oh. Right. You snarl at the audience.
"I'm going to kill all of you!" you growl. The audience screams in terror as you strike menacing poses with your oversized hood for performance purposes. Trixie stands tall on stage, basking in the glory of being a top notch actress.
"DO NOT WORRY EVERYPONY! THE GRRRREAT AND POWERFUL TRRRRRRRIXIE WILL VANQUISH THE MONSTER THAT THREATENS YOU, JUST AS SHE VANQUISHED THE URSA MAJOR!" Trixie shouted, her powerful voice traveling to every single pony in the audience. All the ponies cheered at their new found savior. You start to sweat under your cloak. She vanquished a freaking URSA MAJOR. You're now scared to fight her, even if it is just pretend. With a flash, Trixie runs at you and pins you down. You look up at her and snarl.
"Was 'ugly' really necessary?" you growl.
Trixie smirks, and lifts you up in the air by the scruff of your cloak. You gulp. Even if you had been actually fighting back you would have to struggle against her grasp. She drops you lightly, but you make it look as if she had slammed you down with earth shattering force. You look up to meet Trixie's eyes and smile smugly.
"I hope you don't think you're going to get away with this without a few bruises." You say casually. Trixie narrows her eyes and paws the floor violently with her hoof.
"The Great and Powerful Trixie can handle a few cuts, Hoofed Offender. The Great and Powerful Trixie is not weak!" Trixie shouts. The audience watches with amazed looks on their faces, completely engrossed in the performance. You smile and speak in the most menacing voice you can pull off. You try to think back to movies like the Avengers and Star Wars to inspire you to sound like a good villain.
"Eheheh. Prove it, you insignificant, stubborn girl." You snarl. The audience boos and curses your snark. You whip your head around and growl, shutting them up.
"Oh, 'boo' yourself you insolent, whiny brats! Unless you want to come up here and fight, stay out of this! And as for you, you pathetic wizard...."
You jump up suddenly, preparing to strike a staged blow.
"Prepare to meet your end, stupid girl!"
(Escape pod crashes) "DWC?! WHAT HAPPENED?! ARE YOU OK?! Right, never mind that, I've got some foals to save!" (Turns the corner to see some trembling foals.)
(Cheerfully waves) "hello, I'm really an alien species that has a machine that jumped through time and space to find you, and I just came up with a brilliant plan to save you all!"
(Filly pipes up in the background) "u-um...Wh-what's the plan?"
"Run like hell, and don't die!"
(Proceeds to run like hell with fillies and colts following.)
(Scootaloo looks over shoulder and taps me nervously.)
"Uh...miss? I-I think we might have a problem!"
(Turns around to see an insane Rainbow Dash following us, and getting closer.)
(Curses under breath) "don't look at her just keep running!"
(Helps all the foals into the escape pod and climbs in, starting the engines)
"Okay, DWC, my connection with you is broken and Magus and Kersey aren't answering my calls, and I'm all alone with a bunch of foals and myself cramped in an escape pod with an insane Rainbow Dash banging on the doors to get in. Oh my God, what do I do now?!"
You wait for the show to start before standing behind everypony with your cloak on. When Trixie gives the signal, you scream "TRIXIE! I challenge you!" This song plays as the ponies part before you with horrified gasps.
You walk between the parted crowd slowly and as menacingly as you can, saying "I have searched for you, Greatest Equine Who Has Ever Lived."
Trixie glares back. "Hooded Offender. At last, we meet for the first time for the last time!"
"What?!" you hiss.
"Roll with it!"
Reeling from her butchered grammar, you answer with "Ah, you dont' know who I am? I'm surprised you don't remember me. I...I am you FATHER!...'S brother's nephew's cousin's former roomate!"
The crowd gasps! Until they mumble about why that means anything. Trixie is no less confused. "What does that make us?"
"Absolutely nothing! SHORYUKEN!!!" Your rising uppercut launches you into the air and onto the stage to begin the showdown.
The battle is epic in its epicness. At least, it would be if Trixie let you get your spots in. She monologues about how feeble you are compared to her, how inevitable your defeat is, all the while cutting off you half of the banter and no-selling your big moves. When one of her blasts hits a little too close to the mark, you take the fight home.
Hooking her forelegs with your own, you push her to the edge of the stage. "You fight like a rock farmer!"
"How appropriate. You fight like a rock!" With that, she steps aside, letting you fall to the ground below. "Tell me Hooded offender," she gloats, "does a being like yourself ever experience fear?!" She blasts you with magic fireworks.
Just before they hit, you put up your force field. As the smoke builds, you give a cry and throw yourself backwards.
---
As for a theme song, this one came to mind:
The lyrics really don't match up with the story, but the movie kind of does. Our hero is busting his rump to be a hero, and no one around him is giving him any slack.
Use RCV to make a bombastic villain entrance (with scattered comments from the audience arguing over whether he's The Black Death, The Cloaked Whirlwind, The Ebony Phantom, The Obsidian Storm, or Dark Meany-Mean Pants). Then have Bugze and Trixie hurls cliches at each other in between/during attacks throughout the "battle" (with Trixie rolling her eyes at especially silly/random lines and maybe whisper-arguing). Examples (you don't have to use all of them):
Trixie
"I came here to perform miracles and kick flank! And I'm bored of miracles!"
"Are you all bark, little mongrel, or are you gonna bite?!"
"And you will know my name is 'The Great and Powerful Trixie' when I lay my vengeance upon thee!"
"Do you feel lucky, ruffian?"
"Flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, mongrel!" (before the "finishing" attack)
Bugze
"Yippie-ki-yay motherbuc-oh wait, there's foals watching."
"Uh... verb this!"
"You had me at hello!"
"You can't handle the truth!"
"I drink your milkshake!"
"The cake is a lie!" (Pinkie gasps)
(Hive Mind, help me think up of more cliches for Trixie and Bugze to throw at each other )
Bugze should also use almost all of his spells and moves during the battle to help put on a show (with his attacks being blocked by or just missing the showpony... speaking of which he should miss Trixie and smash a cabbage cart causing the owner to cry out "MY CABBAGES!").
Bugze's Spells/Moves:
-Royal Canterlot Voice
-"Fus Ro Dah" shout
-"No Shadow Kick" attack
-"Shoryuken" attack
-"Falcon Punch" attack
-Stun spell
-Force Field spell
-Teleport spell
-Transformation
When Bugze decides it's time to throw the fight, he cries out "CURSE YOU GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!!!" and does an overly-exaggerated death rattle (complete with over five minutes of clutching at chest, twitching, exaggerated facial features (which shouldn't matter since you're wearing a faceless hood) and dying poses, coughing, and hacking).
Shout, "Trixie! I challenge you to a duel!" Then trip over your cloak and get knocked out with... *shudder* bowling balls... Twilight steals the prize money when you wake up. You meet Cadence again, and talk to her about your troubles.
4580817 Try*static* to...get....*static* to...safer....world*static* trapped...Heartless....*static*....Help....{Signal Lost}
You heroically jump onto the stage and said "IT IS I! THE HOODED OFFEN-" and proceeded to get kicked in the face by trixie as you duke it out in an epic battle.
- with the rvc -3-
Jump in and use your illusion magic to make you look really powerful, while trixie uses a magic spell to daze you, then proceed to battle, thus trolling everybody there
4580817 PROCEED TO FIRE TEH LAZER WHILE YELLING "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
4580985 "DWC!!!"
(Scootaloo screams) "WHATS HAPPENING?! WHAT ARE THE HEARTLESS?!"
"SHUT UP! Okay, Magus and Kersey...I'm coming for you guys, do you hear me?! DWC has been captured by the Heartless! We need to help him!"
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^
4580985
(I never read any MLP/Disney crossovers so I'm just gonna assume I'm in Notre Dame, my favorite Disney movie )
I think my coat has a hammerspace function.
*Sends DWC some flashbangs*
That should keep them off your back for awhile. Where do you need me, MagusBlack, and Rainbow Dash to go?
4582214 Thanks their backing off for now, but I need to get out of here. *starts running towards a room marked 'Genetic Mutation Room'. I'm gonna give myself some powers to hold them off. I won't be able to guide any of you for awhile, for now find the biggest source of evil, and get rid of it, should open up a portal to...somewhere. Good luck *steps into the machine, begins to scream in pain as the machine begins to work it's magic*
4582249
I don't see MagusBlack so...
*Shoots Frollo with Cerberus, knocking him off Notre Dame and opening a nearby portal*
That was easy.
*Walks through portal while still carrying Rainbow Dash*
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*Somehow ends up in a Lilo and Stich crossover. Luckily, another portal is right there*
"Guys I think that the portals are going wonky on us."
*jumps thur other portal*
"Am gonna try to find DWC to back him up/keep in contact with him"
4582932
I'm still being warped through this portal. The fact that I'm also carrying a wounded Rainbow Dash kinda hampers my ability to be of much assistance...
4582932 Guys, I'm coming through another portal right now, and I don't know where I'll end up. Am I appearing on any of your radars? I don't want to be seperated for long...
4580817 dude..... you wrote half the chapter this is why i dont comment much cuz the author seems to use a first come fist served system also author, i see plotholes: how the hell dose trixie find you? im sure twi would have captured you first or killed you or sumthin i mean what did she blast you with a MAGA TELEPORT SPELL OF EPICNESS i doubt that. so did she send him from the everfree to some ally in mane hatten? heres a map of eqestria img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130403195243/mlp/images/thumb/c/cb/Map_of_Equestria_April_2013.jpg/1000px-Map_of_Equestria_April_2013.jpg now we know that the ever frees close to ponyvill so your telling me that our changeling was launched for presumably miles, and nopony but trixi investigated the crash, and he survived? impossible. not to mention he'd more than likey have to fly OVER an entier mountain range had a high chance of crashing into a building, and/or falling into a main road where he would have surely been seen not to mention the multiple pegasi in that could be air born at the time and he would more than likely have a high amount of speed. so yeah unless twi accidentaly teleported him bugze should have been dead or captured. plus im sure they would have pronounced him dead either way, which if he did in fact live he would have effectivly been incognito. and why is it that no one listens to him or that flutters cant explain that he tried to help her and try to remove the bounty hell why diddint twi here flutter shy? show me where she whimpers or whispers those words. im sure any one who knew flutters would listen to her when shes near whats considered to ponies as lord death and how did she not here the f*ing crusaders? why diddint they do something? i guess twi dosent here things when shes near a changeling. oh well im gonna just pretend all off that physics destroying stuff dosent matter. now post da next chapta so i can finish my wormhole of swag,wisdom,knowledge,chaos,and power and gain my final form and rule the world!!!!
4586127 The story does have a "Random" tag after all...
BTW, the author said that Twilight believes that Bugze put Fluttershy and the CMC under a mind control spell