• Published 27th Mar 2014
  • 7,735 Views, 205 Comments

Dissociative - Strawberry Jelly



On the rock farm, we spent our days working the fields. There was no talking, there was no smiling, there were no friends, and I was most certainly lonely.

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Chapter 10 - Intermission (Potential Trigger Warning)

Dissociative
By Strawberry Jelly
Chapter 10 - Intermission


"Do you remember how we used to be?” Limestone somberly asked after what felt like an eternity. Her hoof aimlessly stirred at the spoon that sat in her coffee cup, mixing the sugar into her scolding coffee. “... Back on the rock farm?”

“I didn't want that to change...” Octavia replied quietly, stirring her own coffee with a wry frown on her lips. “The rock farm wasn't really the happiest place... But... You all are-... Were my family.”

“Those silly games we played in the Obsidian Quarries... Remember that one time we were caught under that pile of rubble and Maud had to save us by eating the rocks?” Limestone couldn't help but laugh a little at that memory. Maud ended up having to have her stomach pumped after it was all said and done. “Oh, and the look on the doctor's face? That was priceless!”

Octavia let out a nervous, but true laughter for the first time in months... Or was it years? She honestly couldn't remember the last time she laughed just for the sake of laughing. “Or that party Pinkie threw for her afterwords? I think Maud didn't want to eat another rock for the rest of her life... That's probably why she hates rock candy now.”

“Or that time Marble tried to write us a story, but ended up turning it into an adult novel? Oh, Celestia, or when mom found it!” Limestone and Octavia both went silent for a moment before bursting out into laughter again. When Limestone was young, she really felt closest to Octavia, but then she let him in...

“... I'm sorry...” Octavia commented when she noticed her sister stop laughing and put on that 'thinking' face that she always had. She scooped up her cup in both hooves and took a quick sip from it before continuing, “Thank you for... this... But I know you really just want to-”

“Yell?” Limestone finished for her, having her shoulders slump as she looked into her cup with a wry frown. “I would love to, yes. But Pinkie's hurt because of me getting angry, so I want to try and...” She inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself before continuing. “... And talk about this without me yelling. Don't get me wrong, I still hate you for everything you've done to us, but I want to talk about it for my sisters' sakes.”

“I didn't expect you to forgive me. In fact, if it weren't for Pinkie, I don't think I would have ever had the courage to come and face you...” Octavia whimpered quietly.

“Well, we didn't want to se-” Limestone stopped herself and took a deep, unsteady breath. “It was a surprise, but I realized something about what happened so long ago... Something important, and I need to talk to you about it.”

“A-Anything...” Octavia hesitated, but she knew that look in Limestone's eyes. It was that look of determination; that look that she truly needed to ask something. That look that Octavia remembered last being seen during that night on the rock farm... A look that tore at her very person.

“Why did you do it?” Limestone asked flatly. “We never really asked you that question, have we? No, we all were so broken and destroyed by what you did... But why did you do it?”

Octavia stopped in mid-sip of her drink and sat the mug back down with a wry, but thoughtful expression appearing on her face. She blamed herself for what had happened, but how could she not? After what she did, the entire family was broken... “Because I'm a bad mare...” That was all she could say. What she did was completely unforgivable, inexcusable, and completely foolish. Why did she let him talk her into it? Why did she just let him do whatever he wanted to that house? She was the eldest sister, it was her duty to protect them!

“That's it? That's the big secret?” Limestone's eye twitched a little upon hearing that. “I could have told you that you were complete trash, but no, that's the big secret as to why you did it?! I trusted you! No, we trusted you, and what did you do? You stab us in the back.”

“I'm sorry...” Octavia murmured again, lowering her ears to her head. She loved the fact that Limestone was talking to her, but that question did more than just rip open old scars; it reminded her just how terrible she truly was. She didn't just destroy her own life; she destroyed the lives of her family. Even her parents were hardly the same after that; they had become cold, expressionless, and overprotective of the girls. The first letter she had gotten from Pinkie had told her how she wanted to run away to Ponyville and make all kinds of friends like they used to want to back on the farm together.

“You're sorry?! You're sorry? I'm sorry, but sorry doesn't cut it!” Limestone hissed and stood up. Her gaze turned cold and uncaring; borderline on that callous look her parents had given her so long ago. “You're dead to me. No, I'm done being angry... From this point on, you are nothing more than the mud to me. I hope you manage to convince the others, because you will receive no mercy from me.” She spit the words out like hot venom, her voice quivering with the unbridled pain that had been rekindled.

'Why couldn't she just have an excuse?' A voice asked in the back of her head as she felt her eyes water for the first time in years. She wanted an excuse to forgive, or at least give Octavia another chance, but no... 'I put too much faith in her, yet again. I now know better than that.'

“I just...” Octavia sighed as she watched her youngest sister trot away with a shadow looming over her. “Even if I told her the truth, it would still be my fault...”

~~~

“So, can we get some cake?” Pinkie looked back at Twilight with a smile bright enough to outshine the sun itself. She hated the fact that she was being pushed around in a wheelchair, but that only meant that Twilight had to be extra nice to her! 'That's right, isn't it?' She asked to no one in particular, not really expecting a response.

“Of course we can,” Twilight smirked a little, finding herself not really able to say no to that face. Their plan was going to come into fruition, but she needed time to set it up, and she needed Pinkie to help her with the most intricate parts.

“Twilight, I was wondering if we could stop by the market first. I just remembered that I need to get some streamers for Rumble's birthday party next week!” She squealed excitedly and clacked her forehooves together. “Oh, and we can totally get some flour and paint too!”

“Flour and paint? What are we going to-”

“Not to mix together, silly!” Pinkie giggled and pointed her hoof towards the marketplace. “To starboard, first mare Twilight! We got a mighty loot to collect!” She grinned excitedly. It wasn't often that she got hurt, but when she did, she used to love to play silly games to keep her mind off of it.

“I-” She was about to object, but at seeing the wide grin on Pinkie's face, she could only agree with an internal laugh. “As you wish, Captain Pinkie.”

“Twiiliiiiight, pirate's don't say 'as you wish'; they say 'Argh!'” She reprimanded her first mate with a scowl, pulling an eye patch down over her eye that seemingly came from nowhere.

“As you... Oops! I mean, Argh, Captain Pinkie.” Twilight replied with an uncontrolled smile on her lips. She looks ahead to see a cart being pulled in front of the path. “Captain, we're about to hit... I mean, Argh – Cap, Argh! - we're – Argh! - about – Argh! To – Argh! - Hit – Argh...”

“Out with it, Mare!” Pinkie half-shouted before looking back ahead to see the cart in their path. “Oh, you were trying to say that tharr' be land ho!”

“That's not a very polite word, Pinkie,” Twilight deadpanned at her friend.

“What's not?”

“That h word.” She clarified with a completely serious face that lasted only a moment before both mares giggled.

“I didn't mean it like that!” Pinkie waved her hoof and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Buuuut, I do want an apple!”

“Well, I'm sure Big Mac would be more than happy,” Twilight only smiled and wheeled Pinkie up to the apple stand.

“Heeeeeey cousin!” Pinkie grinned at the red stallion.

“Eeyup.”

“Ooh, what if I make apple cake again?!” Pinkie's eyes widened at the realization of what she could make the moment she was healed up. Twilight had pretty much forbade her from going anywhere near an oven with those wounds were healed up.

“I... That's a greeeeaat idea, Pinkie,” Twilight felt herself gag at the very idea. That monstrosity was not something she remembered too fondly. After all, there was so much lard in it that it could kill a manitcore.

“E-Eeyup.” Big Mac agreed with a worried, but understanding look towards Twilight that screamed 'Oh Celestia, please no.'. Coming from a stallion as stoic as MacIntosh, Twilight knew just how horrible the cake really had to be if an Apple feared it.

“Pinkie, I-I think we should go and grab some of the things we need for tonight instead,” Twilight swallowed her nausea in an effort to take Pinkie away from that idea altogether.

“Oooh, right! Let's see... We need cupcakes, rope, gemstones, pulleys, an anvil, a life preserver, a harmonica, a bag of spiders, a cockatrice, three rubber chickens, a curling iron, the super cider squeezy 6000, and we need to find a suitable river.” Pinkie said before covering her mouth with both hooves. “Sorry, that was Inkie!”

“Wait, how did she actually remember all of that without a checklist?” Twilight looked down at Pinkie with wide eyes. She looked into her saddlebags and looked over the checklist word for word, making sure that Inkie hadn't left out a single thing. “I'm still not really sure how all of this stuff is supposed to fit into our plan, though...”

“I'm sure she has a reason; I mean, look at what happened with the parasprites!” Pinkie sighed and looked around the marketplace for the stall that she usually bought her streamers from.

“Forgive me for my apprehensiveness, but it's just... Why a cockatrice?” Twilight shuddered at a particularly bad memory involving a cockatrice. While being turned into stone was interesting, it wasn't something she was particularly wanting to happen again.

Pinkie shrugged, “Their rock solid personality?”

“I... Okay.” Twilight smirked a little and stifled a giggle, shaking her head at that bad joke. “... Let's just get those streamers.”

~~~

Pinkie was running.

Her lungs felt like they were on fire, but she couldn't bring herself to a full stop. She was trying to remember something important, but what was it that she said? It felt so foggy... Her eyes were watering, blurring her vision all the more before she heard the door to the barn slam open behind her.

He was there, and she could hear his heavy hoof steps pound against the earth like the monster that she knew he was. She peeked from underneath the table to see a large, gray stallion with a haze over his face that hid it almost like a mannequin. The only thing even remotely equine that shown through was that wry grin he wore.

“I know you're here,” His words echoed out, but his lips didn't move an inch as he spoke, sending nausea throughout Pinkie's stomach. “I just want to play, Pinkamena...”

'Please...' She remembered saying the moment he looked at her, but that stinging came to her cheek that brought her down to her knees. Marble peered up with watering eyes and screamed out something that she couldn't remember, only to have another sharp pain jolt through her cheek and another harsh strike against the stomach. 'I just wanted to help...'

Her body felt like it was being assaulted again as the burning pain radiated throughout hey body. It just started with a single thrust; she had to do it for Marble... She had to do it for Octavia... She had to do it for Limestone... She had to be strong like Maud, but she wasn't strong...

'Isn't this fun?' A voice ricocheted throughout her head, feeling her stomach churn from the pain and disgust at what was happening. Pinkie just wanted to be a good girl... She just wanted to be a hero, but it takes more to be a hero than just... Giggling at the ghostly...

Author's Note:

Sorry about the long wait for this chapter as well as it mostly just being a silly intermission, but I had some serious writers block while writing this. That being said, it's pretty much over, so I should be back on a regular schedule with releasing these. That, and I wanted to give you a little bit of a lighter moment before the 'shit hits the fan' so to speak. Which trust me, it's about to.

Also, some foreshadowing! Spoookyyy.

Anyway, feel free to like, dislike, favorite, comment, critique, or scenario this story. I enjoy a bit of constructive criticism, as well as a little bit of positive reinforcement, so be my guest, gentlemen and ladies!

Comments ( 47 )

4386363 do you want more it's kind hard to tell

4386363 Be constructive, not annoying.

Admittedly, I believe I myself have MPD. The fact that i can meet with them and that they want to say Hell ya we want to say somefing!
...That's not how you spell "something" Barbas...
EDIT: Well... Fuck you guy, for downvoting Sc--...SCP's comment.
~Barbas the Miserable.

I came here because of the cover art. Let's read it.

Interesting, very interesting indeed.

Just read every published chapter.

Sweet Celestia, I'm getting chills. One question that is stuck to me like an arrow.

What is the reason Octavia is hiding?

O MAI GAH, PLEASE DON'T STAHP!

Awwww crud, i finaly caught up, got fully addicted and gotta wait for more...
You definitely have a talent for emotional stories, this one kicks you right in the heart and releases my big bro instincts. Good stuff.

Holy crap, I go to bed and wake up with 50 more likes, 80 more favorites, and like 4 messages in my inbox. :twilightoops: I don't know what happened, but I'm 100% okay with this.

4409087
As far as co-consciousness goes; it's kind of a tricky subject. How exactly one becomes co-conscious varies between person to person, as well as how it affects their life, but bear in mind that I'm writing from my personal experiences mostly. For the most part, co-consciousness is defined by the state of having more than one alter active at the same time; this can vary from feeling like they're wanting you to do things you normally wouldn't do, hearing them critique or comment on things you're doing, or sometimes even talk back and forth with them. It's something that can be a blessing and a curse, but it sure as hell helps you feel less lonely sometimes (at least with me).
There's also co-hosting, which is the next step up (and something I don't really do). Basically, it's supposed to be when two or more alters are controlling the body. Honestly, it sounds a bit more horrifying to me than it probably really is.
I'd also suggest looking here for more information. I do like to browse the forum from time to time and talk to others and learn how they deal with what's going on in their own ways. That's how I got the idea to keep each other notes on our phone when we're out and about. :twilightsheepish:
But yeah, I don't have the best memory either. It gets a little hectic, as I'm sure you know, but for the most part me and my 3 (known) alters are doing pretty good with cooperating with one another. Most of the time. Okay, like 40% of the time. :twilightblush:

She scooped up her cup in both hands and took a quick

:rainbowhuh:

4410756
Nope, nope, nope, you didn't see that error.
I mean, what error? *stealthily fixes it*
:twilightblush:

RC

Wow. SUprise is a suprise to all outside. Anyway...i faverot, you wrigt. Deal?

I'm glad to see a work that portrays this condition in a better light. In the media it's used more for the villains (like in Psycho and at least one episode of criminal minds) or to for the plot twist to be that two characters were actually the same person (like in Fight Club.)

MORE, MORE GODAMMIT!

I just need to know now, is there going to be justice served to the rapist?

Just finished catching up, I already want more. Also I really like dark stories and this has the potential to get really dark and im gonna love every second of it...:pinkiecrazy:

I can NOT wait for the next chapter!!!:rainbowkiss:

“Captain, we're about to hit... I mean, Argh – Cap, Argh! - we're – Argh! - about – Argh! To – Argh! - Hit – Argh...”

“Out with it, Mare!”

Sweet Spongebob reference.
i1.ytimg.com/vi/6OFa1-GC5sU/hqdefault.jpg

4425320
Well, if you want to get technical, a trigger can be anything. Literally anything.

4425136
As far as the romance tag goes, I do feel like that it's kind of misplaced in this story. Mostly because it's a minor thing in the story, versus anything really important. The story does mostly focus on the DiD and the Pie Family. In that regard though, comedy is also only a minor tag as well that probably could be removed without any loss of anything. :twilightblush:

Why does this story have to be so good?! I want more now! Waiting sucks!

4425985

Yup, which is why I ignore this whole 'trigger' thing entirely. I get what it's intent was, but it has been blown completely out of proportion by certain online idiots.....

On a brighter note, I'm loving this story so far and hope to see more of it soon.

It's rare when a story gives me chills and makes me smile at the same time. Loving it :)

4431759
I'd buy it; those f*$kers are creepy as hell. :fluttershysad:

4434581
I am ashamed that this has slipped by me for so long. :twilightblush: Whoopsy-daisy; it should be fixed now, though~

Quit with the cliffhangers! I really want to know what happened.

“I just...” Octavia sighed as she watched her youngest sister trot away with a shadow looming over her. “Even if I told her the truth, it would still be my fault...”

This feels kinda cliche.

She just wanted to be a hero, but it takes more to be a hero than just... Giggling at the ghostly...

This feels kinda hurty. :heart:

4409922

Basically, it's supposed to be when two or more alters are controlling the body. Honestly, it sounds a bit more horrifying to me than it probably really is.

Not something I could handle either, if I were awake and aware for it. I don't blame you. Even just switching is an awful fright.

You know, up until I started reading this story I've only heard of this disorder. it's very fascinating indeed and interesting to note that you're writing from your own experiences. (Curios as to how your alters feel about this fic, but that's personal...) So you know what I did after reading the first chapter? I opened up some new tabs and read a little about it and the co-consciousness. All very fascinating and as a writer myself it's an interesting element to add to or revolve a story around, much like amnesia, but bigger!

You also show a very traumatizing past for our protagonists. That other element is also a fascinating one to use, though triggering and hard to approach in a respectful manner. It's a tragically far more predominate problem in real life that's just too horrible to think about. So you'll excuse me if I felt disgusted with that part of the story. If it was mentioned, OK, but to go into the details you did made me slightly sick inside. I'm also terribly fascinated about the subject as well, so I'm a hypocrite and ain't afraid to use it in my tales. So I think you did well in my opinion in choosing this as a main plot point, making sure that it comes off as disgusting and sickening as possible as it should. If it were a side point though it shouldn't be used more than so much as stating it had happened or not showing the details. Your story revolves around this incident strongly, so the darker details are acceptable and done well. I don't believe many authors can pull that off with this tricky and dangerous element, myself included. Good job... And I hope it stays in it's current boundaries.

Now I find myself to be far more fascinated with Pinkie's alters than her sisters here. Her sisters and the drama between them bring about a harsh conflict, but her alters are still the main plot of the story. I'm looking forward to seeing more character development of each individual alter. Inkie and Surprise seem to have the most character development so far, leaving D and Pinkamiena behind a little. D's fun with the cake, but we need to see her child mind a little more. Pinkamiena though... She's had the least amount of screen time and I think she's the one alter that's caught a good bit of your audience. I am glad that Pinkie herself isn't berried underneath of the other alters. It's great to see that she's still very much herself, party planner and universe fourth wall breaking mare. But I am curious from Inkie's dream... Is Inkie the original Pinkie Pie?

I found the dream where most of Pinkie's alters there interacting with one another to be fun and interesting. From your experience of co-conciousness it sounds something along the lines of my understanding of some schizophrenics talking with their voices. Would you say that the interacting dream could be real for some disassociates? It would make sense with the subconscious taking over during sleep. I've been slowly trying to master my dreams, so something like that would be mind blowing to know one could sit down every few nights and talk with their alters face to face occasionally. I know I could google this tid bit up, but I prefer to leave a little up in the air and ask an actual person about it.

I know you're not the expert in this, but you've got experience on it and are writing a very well written and believable story. Add in ponies and Luna and it's even better. Great job. Love the style and looking forward to more.

On one last note, did you get that drunk Fluttershy moment from Jay Naylor's pony comic where she does essentially the same thing? Please tell me it was a reference, it made me laugh so hard!

Quaver Ava

Good fic. It actually makes me kinda want my own alternate person floating around in my head. In all seriousness, I wouldn't really mind an alternate to chat with and stuff, as long as we get along and share control of the body or whatever.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

4791787 me too. If it could be az Pinkie haz it... But I don't want to get it with traumatic expirence
Due typing on phone, bad spelling.

When is the next chapter coming out? :fluttershysad::fluttercry: I can't wait!:fluttershyouch::fluttershbad:

9 months since last update......... Pwease more :fluttershysad:

You're story was helping me get over the fact that United States of Tara was cancelled... until I noticed its been a year since you posted a chapter. When/If you post another one It'll make my week.

This is just speculation but... the stallion-friend that Tavi brought over sounds like a horrible pony all around.

Comment posted by Smokey Wolf deleted May 17th, 2015

More??? The wolf wants more...

It's a shame this has been on hiatus for as long as I assume it has been. Regardless, I have found the story very interesting so far, and hope to see it continued some day. I look forward to then. My only other point to note would be that the pacing is good for the most part, but it feels like it was quicker earlier on and slower later on, in this story. With that in mind, I suggest that when feeling writers block to try and write on a prompt or something, until ideas return. Of course, I do not know for certain that this is on hiatus do to writers block and not "Real Life", so if "Real Life" is the case, I hope you are able to move past whatever is causing issues.

As someone with DID, or whatever the cool kids are calling it these days, (I mean really, I know schizophrenia is inaccurate, but what's wrong with 'ol MPD?) I laughed at the intro. Trigger this and autism that. *sigh*:pinkiecrazy:

I come from the generation that was drugged, beaten, and abused for such things. I learned to survive, adapt, and overcome. I turned every last "disorder" into a talent. Kids these days, they have no foil to temper them.:facehoof:

Well that's enough drunken ranting. I hope this story lives up to the high expectations it has claimed. :pinkiehappy:

I think it would have been better if Octavia wasn't in the story, not that I dislike her or that the story is bad by any means. It would also have been better if you just kept Pinkie's past as just being hurt and not go into details too much as to make it triggering.

4409922
Aww... Why'd you stop updating?

>> Strawberry Jelly
I do not mean to offend but... I. WANT. MORE. :pinkiecrazy:

Why do all the pinkie with multiple personalities stories end up unfinished.

is this on perma hiatus?

Hope this story keeps going cause it has some interesting things going on.

And 'twas never updated again

11181755
We can't give up hope... QuQ

And that's the end. Damn

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