• Member Since 22nd Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen June 19th

ShadowFall


"gg i deserve challenjour"

T
Source

Fluttershy has always been the one out of her friends to have fear constantly claw at her mind and drag her down into its deep abyss. From stage fright to nightmares, Fluttershy cannot escape it. She can only have the compassion of her friends to reassure her and slowly fight fear off.

But one morning, after having a pleasant sleep, she awakens in the majestic castle of Canterlot. At least the ruins of it. She wanders around and tries to find out what happened...

...while being hunted down by fear's true living manifestation.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 26 )

sounds really good I will be sure to give it a read later

4039856 Thank you kind sir/madame.

Well that was intresting, and rather frightening as well.

Good work.

I can now say that was awesome.

Oh and by the way to point out on your last comment.

I am a dude.

4083665 Why thank you! This really was my first attempt at horror. How did that fly with you?

4083879 The story was not that bad but I can see room to inprove on.

For starters Putting Fluttershy in a dream sequnce was a good idea for suspence.

But I have to ask what were you going for anyway?

It felt like suspence with very light dark horror.

Not saying what you wrote is bad but sense you were useing those Aliens, I cant remember their names, those bastards would make this thing gory dark with how they: hunt, kill, and bread.

4084012 I was trying to achieve the feeling of isolation while being hunted down by one soul that wanted to eviscerate and eat you. Too much of them and there wouldn't be any suspense.

4085925 Well it was good to say the least, but one thing is for certin.

You had me in the edge of my seat the entire time with Fluttershy.

4087223 I can also believe the scary text helped?

4087861 Eeyup:eeyup: Still I say good work

4087876 Just wish more people can read this fic and comment.

Now, everything just liked like those monsters, gripping, and clawing at her.
I do not understand this sentence.
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Good stuff.

4142373 Thank you very much.

Nice work My Man! *Brohoof*

You did an amazing work man I love this story even when the alien's came

4197368 Why thank you. I just try to make good work.

4085925 did you base this off the video game just wondering great story

5166337 Yes, in a sense. Also , thank you for your comment.

One of my more favorite things about this story is the "nagging" her thoughts do; repeating a few select phrases several times as it scratches at her skull...
Spooky.
I just wish that they were drawn out across the story; like there were phrases her mind would nag at her constantly; she would think it in one instance and it would come back again and again across the length of the story to continue to nag at her and drive her mad (Much in tune to the theme of Alien with the creature never seeming to disappear). Granted that would work better with a longer story, but I wouldn't mind that either; you're a great writer, and I'd love to read more like this~

5201260 Why thank you. The reason I found I didn't do this was because I didn't want the horror to come from something inside her head from thoughts too much, I wanted it to come from that there was indeed something tracking her down, but she couldn't be too sure.

Hence the story name: Isolation

5202326 Called "Isolation", involves an Alien. Excuse me if I instantly thought of the most amazing Alien game ever made...

5697881 It was what I was going for, in a way with how just one Xenomorph can be so deadly.

What did you think?

5698449 I don't know what to think yet because I didn't start yet :twilightblush:. I will sometime soon though since it looks pretty interesting.

5698455 Thanks, It's always nice to see some potential readers having a look at this. It's really my first attempt at horror.

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