Everyone thinks they're the hero of their own story. Yet nobody wonders just what its like when you swear you're doing the right thing, that everything you're working for is because you have to do it, yet youre seen as the villain for doing so
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Now... Kiss!
New chapter!!!!!
Another job well done! Keep it up
Also, we all know Jeremy is gonna kiss chrysalis
Haha, you're the chick! In this inverted-gender version, at least.
4601692
Oh my god, that is so perfect that it's funny. XD
Squeeze, so good. I'm so happy your taking any romance slow, if its even going to happen. Love blooms from friendship, though I wonder if chrysalis even cares for the others at all under her gruff exterior. Keep up the good work.
I'm guessing that Halfy will eventually meet the pony princesses and her "evil" detector will go off.
Nice chapter, I had figured it would be Zecora what with no one knowing Halfy lives in the forest and all, or at least it hasn't been mentioned that anyone knows of her location. Nice to see the romance starting to be worked into the story, and I personally think you introduced it beautifully. Since it had been slightly implied that Nightmare Moon had something of a crush on Jeremy, I guess somewhat comical jealousy gags are incoming. I'm kinda hoping the whole kissing Chrysalis thing gets a bit more emotional, and the characters become much closer as a result. I won't go into specifics of what I hope to see, I'll just wait and hope to be pleasantly surprised.
4601993
Or just with Celly. Luna might not be complicit.
Of course, whether Celly is evil comes down to her reasons. There are worthy reasons for imprisonment; far fewer apply if the prisoner has done nothing, but some still exist (eg. freedom would destroy the planet). Even in these cases, however, the specific means of imprisonment is almost certainly excessive.
It's also possible that Celly's guards are corrupt, and that she did not order the beatings. Even in this case, the imprisonment and starvation-based interrogation are still her responsibility.
I hope either Moonie or Jeremy kiss her while she sleeps, similar to the secret food sharing back when they were locked up.
Besides that, take all my hugs. I love Chryssie, Moonie, HiE, and canon MLP villains who are not actually evil. So having a fic with it all jumbled together makes me happy.
4602551 Good thing that humans evolved to starve for weeks to months at a time.
Chrysalis, enough with your damn hunger strike!
Story was starting to get boring. then 'now kiss' happened.
31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbwz076EXi1rd23b5o1_500.jpg
Wow this story is so awesome! Why hasn't nobody told me about this before? I mean Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis with a human and it has a romance tag oh my!
Oddly enough Nightmare Moon has been rather pleasant throughout the entire fic. Enough though there is less mystery surrounding Jeremy's prison sentence, Halfy's back story more than makes up for it.
I am still curious as to who would set Jeremy up for murder/arson/possible insurance fraud. There's the usual suspects: a bigoted member of high society, a noble, or even a shady business owner. There's also the question as to why would they place their country's biggest treats in the same cell. It makes for an entertaining read.
As for this chapter we get the first hint of shipping and it was nice to see Zecora again.
Hahaha, next chapter looks to be quite interesting!
Quick! Give her the 'kiss of life'!
I can already see, Chrysalis, on the couch barely moving. Why does she have to be so stubborn. We just want to love you!
Awww come on Chrysalis, swip some spit already!..............thing is in order to do that she would have to get past Nightmare moon in order to claim those lips, and THAT'S why she acted why she didn't want it!! She knew NMM would have her ass if she tried anything with her precious "Sir Jeremy"
Of course, this man is only here to prevent a Taco-fest.
Been waiting for the point they would have to feed Chrysalis. I expected this behavior from Chrysalis, but Jeremy? I thought he would be more concerned about her health.
So I caught up and I've got to say that I'm loving this fic.
I'm curious as to how this is actually going to play out, but I'll bet on the underdog here and say that Halfy kisses Chrissy.
-(e)st is used ONLY with singular second person subject pronoun, thou. It it used for present AND past tense, only only on the 'primary' verb, usually right after the subject. Questions have more variance.(willt and shallt are irregular conjugations, and are otherwise just 'will' and 'shall' in all other forms)
Forms of 'be' conjugation for 'thou(ye)' are wert/wast(were), art(are).
The forms of 'thou' are thou(subject), thee(object), thy*(adjective possessive), thine(stand-alone possesive)
-(e)th is used ONLY with singular third person subject nouns and pronouns (he/she/it). It is used ONLY for present tense. It is the equivalent of, and interchangable with the still remaining -(e)s conjugation
The forms of 'you' are ye(subject), and otherwise identical to modern english; This is used mostly for plural second person.
Ye/you but can also be used as a 'respectful' singular second person. This usage is identical to the 'royal we' to show one's own status.
*Thy, my, and the article 'a' become thine, mine, and 'an' before a vowel sound.
Other differences from early modern english to modern english are mostly just semantic definitions, and best ignored. All other conjugations remain unchanged.
PROLOGUE
clumsy of THEE
thou HAST
HAST thou
Thou ART
CHAPTER 1
ART thou
Thou DOST
CHAPTER 2
YE are (plural)
THY foolish debacle
give THEE night terrors
CHAPTER 3
thou HADST
Thou HAST
I HAVE
CHAPTER 4
thou ART
THY forgiveness
Thou HAST
CHAPTER 5
Note: Starting in Chapter 5, NmM seems to switch back and forth between being respectful and not being respectful towards Jeremy, somewhat erratically. Possibly only the 'thou' versions should be used when she is annoyed or condescending, while using the 'ye' versions otherwise. Otherwise, 'thou' versions should be used for all singulars, and 'ye' versions for only plurals.
Note2: She doesn't seem to have respect for Chrysalis, and should be using 'thou' versions for her exclusively, unless being formal toward her.
THY very eyes
dost THOU
YE HAVE
Correct!
what say YE to their reasoning for treating YOU
('what' is the object here; respect, otherwise 'sayest thou')
Correct, but if you want it to sound more old-timey
the darkness SHROUDETH
('What' is the object here)
What say YE (respect, otherwise 'sayest thou')
Correct, but if you want it to sound more old-timey
former sister...gaineth
Correct (Past tense, specifically Perfect tense iirc)
DO YE require (respect, otherwise correct)
now YE can see (respect, otherwise 'thou canst')
thou SHOWEST
Thou MISUNDERSTANDEST
HAST THOU verily accustomed
thou HADST NOT (Possibly permissable as hadn't due to contraction)
thou WOULDST be full
(NmM uses the less respectful 'thou' and 'thee' to refer to Chrysalis elsewhere)
keeping THEE from growing weaker
thou HAST in THY pride
('would/should' is an irregular, and does not get conjugated in third person)
again, switched to 'you' again
he would not tell THEE
THOU SEEMST to trot
Thou showest
the likes of THEE
(correct, but possible insertion of old-timeyness)
he deserveth
Correct, but she's condescending here, so it should possibly be 'art thou' rather than 'are ye'
Thou SHOULDST (Normally she is more respectful toward him, and would be "ye should", but she's condescending here)
THY wounds HAVE ('Thy wounds' is plural third person; still condescending, so not 'your wounds')
Who's the third other person?
CHAPTER 6
thou HADST NOT (Again, probably permissable to use hadn't as a contraction for this)
(correct, but could be more 'old-timey' sounding by changing it)
Jeremy HOLDETH
that YE THINK so (she's being respectful here, so it wouldn't be 'thou thinkest')
as YE DO (Ye is the subject of 'do' here; and she is being respectful so it's not 'thou DOST')
that YE DO not (respectful, so not 'thou DOST')
Mayhaps ye rest (if she were refering only to Jeremy, without respect, 'thou RESTEST'; if refering to humans in general, it would still be, "ye rest")
N-Nightmare
Correct. Imperatives are not conjugated.
carrying YOU (she's being respectful here, so not 'thee')
thou HAST
YE can (probably not 'thou canst')
Ye were a builder (thou WAST or thou WERT for non-respectful version)
I'm not sure, but I think 'did' is irregular and not conjugated. (It sounds fine as didst though.)
why DID YE claim (Not 'didst thou' due to respect)
YE KNOW of (respect, otherwise correct)
from YOUR occupation (respect, otherwise correct)
YOUR experiences (probably)
CHAPTER 7
ARE YE feeling well (Would otherwise be 'art thou')
YOUR skin seems (would otherwise be 'thy skin'. Additionally, 'seems' could become 'seemeth' for an old-timey feel.)
We HAVE discovered
Both of YOUR presences (plural, always 'ye' form)
(not entirely certain what the subject is, but I think it might be some sort of 'implied I')
To HAVE found
Doesn't rhyme. replacing 'a joke' with 'one of your jokes" however makes it rhyme.
CHAPTER 8
brew WOULD seem
to finish THY treatment
Disrespectful to Jeremy, but probably correctly so.
that YE HAD told us (would otherwise be correct)
DO YE not recall (otherwise correct)
CHAPTER 9
THY senses
thou BELIEVEST
Thou HAST
thou HAST
YOUR condition (respect, otherwise it would be 'thy condition')
for YOU to feel (respect)
of YOUR companion (respect, would otherwise be 'thy compansion'
YOUR reasoning (respect, otherwise would be 'thy reasoning')
alerting YOU (respect)
that YOU had known (respect, otherwise 'thou hadst')
from THY constant
THOU HAST yet (no respect, would otherwise be 'Ye have')
don't THOU DAREST talk about that day
What... ARE Ye (respect, otherwise 'art thou')
CHAPTER 10
whatever ARE YE (respect, otherwise 'art thou')
thou JEST (? or perhaps jestest?)
reason WOULD we follow
THY sudden appearance
(there's a double space after sparse)
Thou WOULDST (arguing, so not 'Ye would')
(lest thine- is fine, since again, arguing, and we don't know what comes next.)
ARE YE in need (respect, otherwise 'art thou')
YOUR judgement (respect, otherwise 'thy judgement')
how can YE BE (respect, otherwise 'thou beest')
would YE affirm (respect, despite the previous exclamation, she whispered questioningly. otherwise would be 'wouldst thou affirm')
(Correct. could be more 'old-timey' with following change:)
Jeremy HATH requested
Should be, perhaps, 'do you care'
CHAPTER 11
that I HAVE agreed
what ART thou
Where HAST THOU brought
necessarily
(Uncertain if this needs editing, didst/did)
hear thou...SPEAKEST those words (or 'thou or anypony speak' without commas...I think)
YE WERE indeed (respect, otherwise 'thou wast/wert indeed')
YE truly (respect)
that YE HUNGER(respect, otherwise uncertainly 'thou hungerest/hungrest/hungerst/hungers/hunger')
YE DO not need (respect, otherwise correct)
YE will be (respect, otherwise 'thou willt be')
YE HAVE no reason (respect, otherwise correct)
concern YOURSELF with rest (respect, otherwise correct)
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
DID YE slumber (respect, uncertain if it needs changed otherwise. did/didst)
she WOULD not be
of YOUR accord (respect, otherwise correct)
allow YOUR kind (respect, otherwise 'thy kind')
YOUR world (respect, otherwise 'thy world')
HAST thou
THY garden
CHAPTER 14
WERT/WAST thou to do so
is THY special talent
THY talent
4609977
Haha, this is awesome! I'm not exactly fluent with the more 'midieval' vernacular, so, for someone to not only point out some fixes, but tips on how to keep myself from doing so. You sir, are incredible! :D
4602649 Shes kinda like Gandhi in a way
I think I missed something, what's the 'R word'? Rabu?
4609977 This comment was more time consuming then sex between Ed Asher and Betty White.
It´s not "a stood myself up", it´s "I stood myself up".
Careful, Chrysalis. Your tsundere's showing
Wow, Dick much? I mean, i one of my friends honestly really needed something as trivial as that, i wouldn't hesitate. It's like if your friend need a pencil on the day of finals and you had a pocket full of them.
4601692 The emasculation is complete.
D: Chryssie no! Fight your pride, you can't just die! *tries gluing the crack back together in desperation*
Somewhere in ponyville, a pink mare twitched