Everyone thinks they're the hero of their own story. Yet nobody wonders just what its like when you swear you're doing the right thing, that everything you're working for is because you have to do it, yet youre seen as the villain for doing so
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Not really no
EDIT: this is a joke lol XD
A truley great chapter!
Because Nightmare Moon is a corruption entity that took advantage of a young princess's sadness, jealousy and envy and tried to bring about an eternal night, which would have caused genocide, because all crops in Equestria can only grow in sunlight, thus everyone would have died. AND she took over Rarity and tried to kill off the Elements of Harmony as well AND enslaved an entire race of beings in the comics as well. So I'll take "the sociopathic corruption spirit that enslaved AND tried to commit genocide" over Sombra.
Gee, it couldn't be because TWICE now she attacked major cities in Equestria, once in the comics and once in the show, kidnapped people, attacked them, almost destroyed the capital of Equestria, is incapable of feeling actual love herself, bordered on raping Shining Armor considering how she wanted to use him, attacked the Princesses for DARING to defend their land, and DIDN'T bother to try diplomacy at all?
Your guy barely knows these people. Like, at all. He's been with them maybe a month and has only seen one small part of them. That doesn't absolve them of everything else they did. You think they were in the Dungeon for FUNSIES?! Stop whitewashing their past.
hm very interesting the reason I believe jeremy is so....defensive about chysalis and nightmare moon is beacause they were there for him in his imprisonment and they actually came back for him.....not sure why? but I honestly wonder though what the F$@! did jeremy do to be imprisoned with them? did he like destroy ponyvile or what?
also I am just going to ask this....is halfy a changeling?
4502375
Wow. Reasons straigth from the book.
Thats what we where told. Is it the truth? We dont know.
meh. Nightmare wanted to rule her ponys. I believe she had a solution for that. Maybe Magic?
It's a fanfic so the author can ignore canon. I mean come on. This is a H.i.E fic so how much canon can you exspect?
Yeah ok. But why didn't the changelings attack before that? The methods were brutal i agree but we still dont know why they had to resort to these kind of methods.
Thats just it. He only knows them for a month. And in that month a comaradeship grew with a common enemy. Celestia. He doesn't believe these books becouse Nightmare and Chrysalis never showed this kind of "aggression" to him and he wasn't there to witness them. Or he forgot just how he forgot why he was imprisioned.
Your reasons are sound but missplaced. What if in this story everything happened a little different?
This isn't canon. So just sit back and enjoy it. Maybe you are right maybe not but these kind of comments are useless for the author and may even discorage them from writing more.
@Brightlight24
keep it up!
4502888
You can't just ignore the source material when it doesn't suit you. That's not how you honor where a work came from. When you deviate too much from the original source material, be it a book, a cartoon or a film, you get Patch Adams. You get the awful Suess films. You get Man of Steel. You get the awful Game of Thrones game. The terrible Walking Dead Survival Instinct game. The ROTTEN Catwoman film and terrible fanfics "Cupcakes" and "Rainbow Factory". And I'm disgusted people downvoted my comment for pointing out the facts. It's like making a story that says the Founding Fathers never spoke about how important free speech was and ignoring the Constitution. You can't DO that! It's insulting, makes NO sense, and is disrespectful to the people who created the original material!
4502967
Actually, it's not. The basis of fan fiction is that cannon is flexible. The simple fact that there already major deviations from cannon mean that your point are not valid nor factual (the reason you were getting downvotes). Here are a few of said deviations:
A.) A human is in Equestria,
B.) The human was thrown into the dungeon with two previously mentioned "villains" without due process, for no crime what so ever,
C.) Chrysalis was being starved by the Royal Guard,
D.) The human was tortured and starved while in the dungeon,
E.) All of the above was done with Celestia's explicit approval.
EDIT: Corrected some spelling errors and a missing word.
4502967
woah there calm down.
First of all yes what you say about disrespecting the source is bad.
And you are compairing all these million dollar movies with a free for all fanfiction. Thats just wrong.
Second. This story has just begun. We do not know what will happen next. Maybe he will realise that they are evil. Or they arne't evil? Just be pationed and dont call it stupid becouse its not how you want it.
It is not ignoring the source. Maybe it just hasnt come to it yet? Maybe the author invented his own source?
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Voting is a given right by your constitution. If people dont like your comment they are free to downvote. Without a reason its rude but still legal.
And you bring up freedom of speach? That means the author has the freedom to ignore canon just like you have the right to complain. It would be the polite thing to just leave no comment if it isnt constructive critisism.
4503027
The human thing? Uh, we have Equestria girls. If the ponies can go to earth, we can overlook humans going to their world if the explanation is good. But the rest requires ignoring huge chunks of what makes the world what it is, what makes the characters what THEY are. It would be like having a fanfic in which Han Solo is terrible at driving...when he's been a mercenary pilot all his life. Not to mention there's been no real explanation for any of the aforementioned inconsistencies you brought up a dozen chapters in. We could forgive stuff like that if the explanation is good. But we haven't even gotten a HINT.
4503109
Not even close. We have a human with a standard name. Remember Equestria Girls? The entire cast in the "human world" had pony names.
Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon both have less than 10% characterization. They are all but blank slates. There are a billion and one different explanations for why they did what they did, and all of them are valid because the show glossed over them. There is barely any cannon for either character, so fannon and head cannon take over.
First, driving =/= piloting. You can make an aircraft dance, but that doesn't mean you can make a ground vehicle dance. They are two separate, distinct skills. This comparison doesn't even address the issue. Han has an established character, with a large amount of backstory. Neither Chrysalis nor Nightmare Moon have that.
You're missing a very key word in that statement. The word happens to be "yet". There isn't a completed tag on this story, so therefore, odds are it will be addressed later.
'And now, a word from our author.'
Alright guys, lets calm down a bit, eh?
Now look, I appreciate those of you who side with the non-canon parts of the story, and, at the same time, I also appreciate those who do not. (Though their presentation of the fact was a little harsh)
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, be it comment or downvote, and personally, I enjoy receiving commentary of this sort. To me, it shows that readers really care about something, even if its in the wrong way. Now, I'm not gonna go about saying how 'I hate negative comments' or anything like that, because I don't. Sometimes, a bad comment can prove just as useful as a positive if it has the correct basis.
So, yeah, there's no need for a comment war or anything like that. I'm okay with others opinions, no matter what.
Nonetheless, I appreciate all of yours' enthusiasm on the subject, and hope that you enjoy the story as it goes on. And if not, oh well, it wasn't your kind of story, and that's your opinion, which, as I once again repeat, I am totally fine with.
Gosh, it makes me sad to see the Windigoes circling so. Can't we all just love and tolerate? Even if we disagree, we can still all be friends, right?
4502375 So your upset because the story is not going the way you want it to or not following cannon.....
Here's some good advice when you come across a story that you don't like..
Might wanna write this down on a piece of paper.
you ready.. good....
Don't read it..... Don't read it.... I know right you think it would be so hard but it's not you just move on with life.
4503133
They're not blank slates. We know the kinds of personalities they have. We know their motivations and their goals. We know about the powers and how they work. That's not "less than 10% of characterization".
I see potential in the story. What a lot of people don't understand is that a good fanfic builds off of the source material and explores unexplored areas of it. It doesn't disregard whole swaths of the story entirely.
And your Hans Solo comparison is stupid. It's asinine to think that somebody who's an expert starship pilot wouldn't also be an expert driver, something which Han has shown he's also in the stories.
And the biggest problem is it's been almost a dozen chapters and we barely had any hints as to why the main character was in the dungeon in the first place, why the villains are acting so radically different from how we seen them every other time in the show, etc. How about tossing us a bone? In the Star Wars films one of the first thing said stuff like "may the force be with you". And the explain what the force is in the first half hour of the film. Not that much is been explains so far. At least, nothing meaningful. The author keeps adding characters but what we need is to advance the story, explain why the main characters ended up where they are.
4505363
First off, that is less then 10% characterization. They are cartoon villains that have little to no other qualities to them. Their "motivations" are extremely basic, and they have absolutely no depth to them. They are nothing more than a pair of Mary Sues that fill the role of the villain. That means that they are "blank slates". Second, if they are fully characterized, then explain to me, in complete detail, exactly how Nightmare Moon came to be. And saying, "she came about due to Luna's emotions combining with her magic," is not valid. I want every piece of material that would be required to make my own nightmare (if doing such a thing was actually possible) and a set of instruction to actually do it. Also, explain to me Chrysalis' exact thought process of how she came to the conclusion that invading Canterlot was a good idea, and explain the state of her hive and how it came to be in that state.
Wrong. Fanfics are nothing more than "What if" stories based in universes of original fiction (and the rare nonfiction universe). I've read plenty of amazing fanfics that disregarded much larger sections of canon then this. It's up to the individual fanfic author as to how closely they follow canon. Also, notice that "Alternate Universe" tag? That single tag is what completely annihilates your argument anyway. With that tag, the author has complete control over what canon is used and disregarded (usually emphasizing that either key pieces of canon are changed/ignored, or that large amounts of canon are changed/ignored). So if you don't like it, take a hike and from mow on, avoid that tag. No one needs or wants you here if you don't like the story. Even that author (4503287) has said as much.
Name every ground-based vehicle (has either wheels or tracks) that Han has driven. Hover vehicles do not count. Also, you've shown your own asinine argument by saying that driving and piloting are the exact same thing. Having a driver's license does not, in fact, make you a pilot. They are two separate skills. Similar in nature, but very different in application.
This doesn't need to be answered immediately. This can easily become a massive plot twist later. Given Celestia's OOC-ness, I'm perfectly fine with not knowing till later. Yes, it does need to be answered before the story is finished, but it doesn't need to be shown now.
There have been several hints about why they are acting differently. Since they are all fairly subtle, I'm not surprised you've missed them. Reread the story and pay attention to the characters. From what I see so far, your own bias is blinding you to these hints.
This is a textbook example of an asinine argument. Compare apples to apples. A for-profit film of original fiction is nothing like a non-profit fanfic based on borrowed fiction. They are not even in the same ballpark.
Once again, you've failed to pay attention to the literary pace of this story. This is a part of any story called "falling action". This is where characters are introduced, characters are developed, and plot pieces are set up outside the view of the audience (if located at the end of a story, it's where everything is wrapped up for the end and/or set up for the sequel). Plot advancement is not the highest priority during falling action sequences, characters and their development are. Once the falling action sequence is complete, then the next sequence (in this case, "rising action") advances the plot.
4505539
I have to interject as a Star Wars fan, hover vehicles count, and Hans is a major Repulsorlift Swoop driver. He did it professionally for many years. So you're wrong in that regard. And you should know larger planes are very similar to cars, unlike smaller planes, so driving a plane IS similar to driving a car, just quite harder. If you can drive a plane, you can drive a car.
4505674
Sorry, they don't. Hover vehicles can bypass terrain obstacles that ground vehicles cannot (behaving much like an aircraft in that regard). For example, a hover craft will have a smooth ride when going over something like gravel, where a car would have it be bumpy. Another example, a Swoop pilot wouldn't loose control of his/her/its Swoop just because it hit a slick patch of grass at high speeds, where a driver of a car can. Tracked and wheeled vehicles require a different set of skills (though similar in nature) then that of any pilot.
Again, being an expert pilot does not make you an expert driver. Cars behave a lot differently then planes (though yes, the larger aircraft do act similarly to cars, but not the same). While I do agree that planes are more difficult overall, being an expert driver is just as difficult. Tires, tire condition, road conditions, road materials, terrain, etc all have to be taken into account. Much like a plane, at high speeds, even atmospheric conditions have to be taken into account in order to get the vehicle to behave like you want it to.
Sorta, only reason is to see the reactions of how silly Celestia and her group are doing at being freak out.
Nah. Just care about what going on with these Three, or four now!
Jeremy is relaxed, Nightmare Moon is happy, Chrysalis is feed, and not from the berries , and Halfy is sweet and hopeful stay so throughout the story. But it does look like one of those, "to good to be true things".
Looking forward to more. Especially, from Jeremy and Moony's, growing relationship, as well as Chrysalis growing affection her him. Not matter how hard she tries to hide it.
I'm really liking this idea and story! please keep up the good work friend!
4505762
It's been over ten chapters, we've BEEN introduced to them, KNOW their personalities, they've interacted with each other, we haven't really had any action period, not even them breaking out was very action-y. And instead of actually showing real action or moving the plot forward, the author wants to introduce MORE people for us to memorize? Can't we just stay focused on these characters and get some answers as to why our human friend was in the dungeon and why those two are so different from before?
And no, there's NOT been any clues. Not even a HINT. Why don't you point to what you think qualifies as the hint, then we can talk. Because the ONLY time that could come close is Celestia being informed they're out, and even then there's nothing to indicate why she did it, why she had ANYBODY tortured, etc, etc.
4509831
Funny how their personalities have changed over the course of these past several chapters. That is called "character development" and is extremely important in any story. You have a very poor understanding of literary devices if you can't see that, and so far your words have provided ample evidence to prove that.
This would be wrong. You have an extremely poor literary definition of action, as the escape was, by it's very definition, action. This is not "Total Recall" or "The Expendables". Action does not require explosions, gunfire, and a large body count. Action is simply moving the plot forward. There've been four rising action sequences so far. First is Chrys' and Nightmare's escape. The second is James' escape. Third, meeting and then leaving Zecora. Forth is the meeting of Halfy. You may not see the plot progression, but if you actually do a literary analysis, you see it quite clearly.
Then never read the LotR novels, or watch the movies. Don't even get close to a copy of Catcher in the Rye (a literary classic and award winner that has a slower pace than this story and, by your definition, no action at all). Those introduce you to a ton more characters then a grand total of five major characters, and four minor characters (two of which may never show up again). In fact, stop reading all fiction, since you refuse to memorize nine whole characters.
No, because in order to get to the place where you can get those answers, you need to meet these characters.
Yes there has. They've been subtle, and that's why you're having trouble seeing them. Your poor understanding of literary devices and literary criticism are stunting your own understanding and recognition of these clues. You've answered your own question. Celestia authorized all of that. Why? Any number of reasons that are all conjecture until we get more information. However, we also got hints as to why the characters don't act like they do in the shows. Firstly, their own actions hint at the reason. Second, their interactions with James hint at why. Third, their interaction with Zecora are another hint at why. Forth, interactions with Halfy are pointing to the reason. Fifth, this is an AU fanfic, where your holy of holy canon doesn't always apply.
I'm still waiting for those explanations to show that Nightmare and Chrysalis are both so well characterized in canon, and aren't just one-sided cartoon villains.
4509950
In LOTR, we had our main characters set up, had their home established, had what they had to do established and set them out on their journey within the first five chapters. We haven't even gotten half of that. And it's distracting to keep adding new characters when we still haven't learned what we need to about THESE ones.
No, they don't. Their actions don't hint as to the reason. You can't handwave it all away and say "Oh, they're in love with him". That's not a good enough explanation. And don't give me the "AU" crap. Alternate Universes play off expectations in different ways by asking "What if this was different", but we've not had ANY indication that ANYTHING was different about the villains's origins that would MAKE their characterization different. What, is Nightmare Moon actually an aspect of Luna? That sure hasn't been hinted at. Was Chrysalis abused as a child or something? THAT'S not hinted at or anything. They're acting differently from how we saw in the canon of the show but there's no explanation for WHY. Not even a hint.
And don't gimme the "They're just cartoon villains", it's from a CARTOON. You think SAURON in the Lord of the Rings got a lot of characterization behind "Smash, smash smash" in the LOTR films and then "scheme in the background because he's obsessed with power"? We never found out EXACTLY where he came from in the films but we knew enough about what he wanted, what he could do and how he worked so that we could fill in the blanks well enough. It was enough for us. And don't gimme "but that's not how real people are". This isn't real life. There's a real personification of chaos and discord. Love and Harmony are actual physical forces. Much like in DnD, good and evil are real forces. Therefore there ARE gonna be people who are evil just for the sake of evil. Just like there's going to be people who are good just because doing good is good.
In contrast, in my story, Delirium, I hinted who the real villain was by showing subtle clues that could be chalked up to just "this character is just emotional", but when you looked back at the story, you realized they were obsessing over the main character, and could have killed all those people quite easily. I even tossed in hints as to why they were doing it all through the story before finally giving it away in the ultimate climax. And the clues were subtle, but also clear enough to make the audience think 'Hey, maybe I oughta pay attention to this". I haven't seen anything like that in this beyond "Maybe they're in love with him", but nothing as to why an innocent human 1, got into Equestria and 2, got into the Dungeons and 3, was deserving of any kind of torture.
4510038
Comparing the storyline of LotR to this doesn't work. This is more along the style of Catcher in the Rye for plot than LotR. Even then, are you surprised the multimillion dollar, for-profit production is better than a non-profit fanfic? You need to learn to keep your expectations straight and reasonable.
Someone doesn't understand characterization and character development. Their actions are more telling then you give them credit for. Their actions say that their origins are different. Why hasn't Chrysalis drained James of all of his love? Why hasn't Nightmare Moon tried to force eternal night on everyone yet? Those two questions are hints and evidence that not everything is as it was in the show. Congratulations, you've utterly failed as a literary critic.
Because you never completely characterize someone at the start. Again, if you actually paid attention to the characters, their thought processes, and their interactions, you'd see that there is a lot more going on then you are admitting. You have yet to even try to do an analysis of the characters, that much is evident from your asinine and logically faulty arguments.
Not anymore. These are characters from an adult NOVEL now. This is a novel that is aimed at an OLDER audience with HIGHER standards than the target market of the original show. If you can't separate the show's canon from a fanfic's canon, you have no business being here. So far, every single argument you've used has a faulty premise to it. They'd actually be worth the bytes that it takes to contain them, if they were coming from a different angle, but the way you're backing up the points is just plain off-base and completely incorrect. You set unrealistic expectations and then demand that they be met. Get over yourself.
Nice try, but Sauron was a minor character, at best. He may have been the Big Bad, but that doesn't make him an important character. He was characterized enough to fill the role he was created for, nothing more. If you wanted to make him a major character, there are a lot of holes that need to be filling in his ~20% character.
No shit, Sherlock, but the story does need to stay internally consistent and realistic enough to build up a suspension of disbelief. This fic has done that very well.
Nice try, but your heading toward Strawman territory. What evidence do you have that Harmony and Love are real forces in this fic, as well discord being the complete personification of Chaos? So far, Discord has been acting in line with canon as a prankster. Canon has never shown him to be a personification of chaos, only a mischief maker. He sure as hell is no Tzeentch.
This means absolute jackshit. Having written a story means nothing when it comes to a literary critique, as evident by you missing about fifteen different characterization points, and an outright refusal to recognize any kind of literary device. The simple fact you don't understand what "action" means in a literary sense makes me question the quality of said story, and it's obvious that it is not any kind of benchmark story or instant classic. Don't even get me started on the fact you can't recognize the story's pacing or the difference between rising and falling action. You might be an okay author, but you're a shitty critic.
4510265
No, you didn't. You didn't even come close. You just BS'd an explanation, and it shows, shreading what credibility you had left. Chrysalis could have easily done have fed, "depowered" or not. Heck, she could have done it right after she escaped. Nightmare Moon, according to canon, is insane enough to kill off the world by making it freeze through eternal night. I doubt that means she wouldn't try immediately after getting out. Why did they even rescue James? Neither of them owe him any loyalty. If anything, being the blank slate villains they are, they should have taken advantage of him getting them out and left him to rot.
[youtube=2FyLt0aUT6I]
Once again, you're wrong. Unhealthy amounts of wrong. It is significantly easier to write a fanfic then to write original fiction, even if you deviate a long ways away from the canon (in fact, there are several good fics on this site that have basically shredded canon and are only using the characters). Your adherence to canon is fine, but you don't get to criticize others for not doing it when they have already indicated that not all canon is going to be applicable. It's obvious you don't like it, so leave. Your ignorance and arrogance is becoming annoying. I'd say that this is all a troll, but you've done the same thing on several other fics, where you got your head handed to you.
Once again, more evidence to show that you have no idea what you're talking about. Try something basic, like a simple literary character analysis of canon Chrysalis and this fic's Chrysalis. The differences are glaring. You've failed at things taught in Fiction Writing 101, so let's see if you can try something at Fiction Writing 098.
4510329
>demands strict adherence to MLP source material
>reads a HiE fic
Once again, you shot yourself in the foot. You want strict adherence, stay away from all Human, Alternate Universe and Anthro tags. Those all have this thing called "deviation" in them. You have repeatedly said that you don't like deviation, so leave, and stop being a dumbass troll.
Because the story does a well enough job of providing plenty of evidence to get people to come up with their own conclusions as to why. All of it is useless conjecture until the author has the story say why. You are the one that has repeatedly said "falling in love" isn't good enough, and then act like that was my opinion (read: Strawman). I've actually hinted at my own opinion several times (all but spelled it out a few times as well), but the fact you've missed it, time and time again, provides even more evidence that you have no idea what you're talking about, nor do you have a leg to stand on.
No, you aren't. You're bitching and moaning.
4510371
First off, I'm not your father. I don't have to hand-hold you like you're a baby. Grow up and do some leg work. Second, Yeah, I have. I just expect you to be intelligent enough to put two and two together. Are you saying that I should treat you like an idiot, instead of expecting you to be able to string together two closely related points, because if you really want to, I can.
Looks like someone either is lying or didn't actually read the comments.
No, that's a trope. It is neither good nor bad. How it is handled is what makes it good or bad. Only a fool would say that a trope (that isn't a cliché) is bad writing.
4510468
Because they aren't the same characters as portrayed by the show. Since you want to be treated like an idiot, I'll do that. It's painfully obvious they are not what has been portrayed in the shows. Look at the word choice, their thought processes. Those are extremely different. Why? BECAUSE THE STORY HASN'T EXPLAINED IT YET, BUT PROVIDES HINTS AT WHY. Celestia has a role in all of it.
Oh boo hoo. Your waifu is getting bashed. Grow the fuck up and act like an adult rather than a spoiled brat. You seriously fucked in the head if that's what's causing all of this. Here's my suggestion, get thicker fucking skin if you get offended when Celestia plays the role of villain. I honestly think Celestia is a shitty leader. Time and time again, she sends untrained and ill equipped civilians to deal with something that would be better suited for a military unit. She constantly make poor decisions that, in the real world, would get people killed. I have no respect for shitbag leaders, and she's one of them.
Actually, I would be. It's called "Fair Use", and it's legally protected free speech. So yes, I would be fine with it. In fact, people have already done that. I actually like the fact that people are taking my original ideas (that I make money off of) and are adding their own flare to it, and are having fun with universe I created. I've actually read through some of the fics and told the authors that I like their portrayal of some characters better than my own. Even when those characters are the bad guys. I'm not going to change the canon to fit their characterizations, but I like the portrayals.
It hints at that, but it's nothing but your own conjecture. There is nothing in the fic to say that she signed off on the beatings, only that she didn't provide proper oversight. So, you're dead wrong here as well.
Aww, is somebody's waifu getting bashed? I repeat myself, grow the fuck up and stop acting like a spoiled brat.
Guess who's wrong. The people that own Superman actually did that. They made a story with the exact plot line canon.
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/d2/ee/0b/d2ee0b0a6a92964fa0ddf3e228bfb37e.jpg
Try again, I've been on both of over ten years now, not posting to Deviantart (not worth my time) but I have several stories over on fanfic.net. Hell, I even linked my profiles to both on my userpage. I've been writing as a hobby, but have been focusing all of my efforts on running a start-up business (in this case, a videogame design studio) and have been writing professionally for that. Four games in the works, where I am the primary writer, two more where I'm a secondary writer.
4510596
Try again. There was an alt-verse episode where Superman was a mass-murderer. Feel free to actually do something, like Google it.
i1365.photobucket.com/albums/r749/Ghost-091/df600c0e-b66a-46b0-ba02-99b5f3e75f46_zpsad53f762.png?t=1402160093
Try again dipshit. That Fanfic.net icon? That's a link.
Again, you call yourself a writer, but you don't understand basic literary definitions, which is completely incorrect.
Might want to actually take a literature or a writing course in college before you start mouthing off to someone who does this for a living.
Good! About fucking time. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
... I have been patient... I have been kind... And I have tried to be understanding... But GODDAMN IF I DON'T HAVE MY LIMITS!
Ngrey, I have had more than enough of your BS! I'm okay with commentary, bad or good, and in fine with criticism! But, the moment you start to openly argue with other readers just because you're too ignorant to leave the fucking page already, then I lose my shit! All of your BS is out of here! Folks, if he comments, or tries to start an argument with you, or anything, ignore him. Ill have his comment deleted by the end of the hour.
Thank you to all who tried to knock some sense into this troll, and those who provided insightful negative commentary, unlike him!
4510963
I only have one question because I like any story that tries to develop formerly villainous characters into more fleshed out people, and it's this: why was the escape from the dungeons so...well...lackluster? It just kind of felt like it was too easy to get out. I thought maybe some guards would show up thst they'd have to get past, or maybe, actually, Celestia would show up as they're about to escape, our hero demands to know why she tossed him in and she looks at him, angry at first before realizing he honestly doesn't remember, saying "You don't REMEMBER"? A haunting look passing over her face, our brave hero staring back in confusion, struggling to grasp some buried memory before Chrysalis and nightmare moon tug him into the tunnel ways to freedom.
I'm sure you'll explain why he was there, but...it just seemed like their escape from the dungeons should have had more..."oomph".
4512651
The reason that the escape was so lackluster, as you had said, was because in a more realistic turn of events, that micheal bay kind of thing (metaphor, roll with it) wouldn't have really happened. (Coming from the guy writing about talking ponies) Celestia, and the guard, were completely unaware of this escape until it was too late. If she had know of it, and been there, she could have easily stopped both nightmare moon, and Chrysalis, with a single spell. So, that's why.
4512736
Oh! Okay. I guess that makes sense.
Do we finally get to find out what he did to get into the prison!?
4521534
Well, that would spoil things. Don't worry though, the hint bombing begins!!!
Man was that a one sided argument if I ever saw one!
>Internet troll actually defeated.
A decisive victory has been won today.
Btw, story's gr8 m8. Keep it up.
I just realized that if any of them dream Luna might find them
I don't know if it comes later, but right now, I think that changing that Minotaur from Tartarus into Tirek, would be better. Just the idea.
4790590 Only if she's dream walking during the day, which is unlikely. remember, the group is awake and moving at night and sleeping during the day. Plus I wouldn't be surprised if Nightmare could counter that trick by making their dreams un-readable or flat-out makeing it so Luna doesn't even know when they're dreaming.
Wow, another story with a more sympathetic view of Chryssie that has had a comment troll who just couldn't stop reading it and arguing.
Maybe it helps that I've only seen a few episodes of the show and read some comics, but, seriously, who the fuck reads a HiE fic and expects strict canon adherence. And before someone mentions EQG, humans never went to Equestria proper.
Another good chapter, love your characterisations.
4502375 The invading part is pretty normal considering in our past people would invade others for resources, land, even political insults. Just look at the War of The Rose, The 100 year war, the 10 year war, the age of exploration and all that shit. Considering that Equestria and its neighbors are socially renaissance/industrial revolution stage culturally would mean that they have to face this shit. They have a (admittedly useless) royal guard for a reason. Also, the changelings evolved that way so you can't blame them. It would be annoying for them if they felt grief for feeding off of their food source. Humans barely feel grief for killing animals for food because we are instinctively use to it. Same goes for changelings. If you do take in the inability to produce love, that means they have to feed on ponies. Also, who said chrysalis controls every changeling. I doubt her hive is the only hive, after all one bad apple doesn't spoil the bunch. Otherwise I would say the french are evil based on napoleon, or the russians are evil dictators based on Stalin, the germans are extremely racist nazis based on hitler, the Americans are evil bastards who used measal ridden blankets to kill off the indians. The british are oppressive assholes for controlling the scotts and irish.
With nightmare moon, don't take the comics as canon. The nightmare is based off of Luna so maybe she didn't understand what would happen during an eternal night.
Sorry for such a short rebuttal for NMM, I'm playing dark souls 2 and got invaded.
Forgone all discussion in this comment section all I eant to know is why Jeremy didn't fed some of his own love to Crysalis since emotions are an infinite resource that we, humans, create just by being alive?
Reading this again, what makes it obvious that the story of how Tartarus came to be cannot be true with the ending or has - ponies would never stand any other race having control over anything.
Well I've ran out of old chapters from where I left off. Now for the new. Let's see where this trainwreck takes me