• Published 18th Feb 2014
  • 1,315 Views, 35 Comments

The CMC's Epic Argument Anthology - CartsBeforeHorses



The Cutie Mark Crusaders like to argue. A lot. This anthology documents some of their biggest disagreements, debates, and throw-downs over the most trivial topics.

  • ...
2
 35
 1,315

...Which Pony Celestia Should Make an Alicorn

Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom walked down the street towards Twilight Sparkle's housebrary.

"I can't believe that we never thought of it before!" Scootaloo exclaimed.

"We've never tried readin' books to get our special talents before," said Apple Bloom.

"Well, we did, but they weren't actual books. They were comic books," recalled Sweetie Belle.

"I so wanted a cutie mark of Iron Mare," said Scootaloo. "But I guess it doesn't work like that."

The three crusaders reached the door to the housebrary, knocked, and Twilight answered.

"We're here to read," said Apple Bloom.

Twilight let them in. "You three let me know if I can help you find anything," she said. "I'll be upstairs in my room studying."

"Thanks, Princess Twilight," said Apple Bloom.

"Oh hey, that's right, she's a princess now! I keep forgetting," said Sweetie Belle. "Do we need to bow, Princess Sparkle?"

Twilight chuckled. "No, and you don't need to call me princess, either. I'm just like anypony else. I have to wait in line for cabs, and take the same train cars as commoners. I still live in the public library instead of a palace. I'm still the same old pony I was, except that Princess Celestia gave me wings."

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. "Can the princess turn anypony else into an alicorn?"

"Sure," said Twilight Sparkle. "All she did was just cast a spell. Theoretically, it would work on anypony. Though not just anypony gets to be a princess. It takes a lot of work. Though I've heard there's another princess position opening..."

The three crusaders looked at each other with wide grins on their faces as Twilight walked off to continue her studying.

"Wow, how cool would it be if she made me a princess?" asked Scootaloo, her eyes wide.

"Pfft," Sweetie Belle scoffed. "You can't even fly, Scootaloo. I don't think that being a princess would change that. You'd just get a horn but keep your non-flying wings."

"Uh!" Scootaloo frowned, drawing back. "Hurtful! Besides, I'd have a horn, so I could, I dunno, like levitate myself or something."

"That would look stupid," said Apple Bloom. "Better that she'd make somepony an alicorn who can actually benefit from it, like me. Just think, I'd get a horn AND wings! I'd be flyin' around usin' magic like crazy! And as a princess, I could get a new barn, a new plow, and a new hip for Granny Smith!"

"That's kind of a problem," said Sweetie Belle. "Twilight became a princess by inventing new magic, remember? You guys aren't unicorns, so I'm the only eligible pony. We'd better start reading up on how to invent spells so that she can make ME a princess!"

"As if!" said Scootaloo. "You can totally become a princess without inventing magic! What spell did Cadance invent, huh? She was a pegasus before she was a princess."

"Yeah, but at least she could fly," said Apple Bloom. "What, are you going to be the princess of scooters?"

"Actually..." said Scootaloo, "that would be pretty cool."

"All I know is that we need a princess of apples," said Apple Bloom, "And Applejack is too busy on the farm to bother with that fancy schmancy royalty. So that leaves me!"

"Princess Celestia doesn't even like apples, remember?" asked Sweetie Belle. "But she likes magic!"

"Which you can't even use," said Scootaloo, rolling her eyes.

"NOW who's being hurtful?" asked Sweetie Belle. "Besides, I can use magic. Watch!"

Sweetie Belle glanced at a sheet of paper on a table, and closed her eyes as she focused energy through her horn. Several minutes passed, with the other two crusaders giggling at her futile efforts. Her horn let loose sparks as she contorted her face in all sorts of configurations.

Finally, the paper moved approximately five millimeters.

"SEE!?" Sweetie exclaimed.

"I think that you blew on it," said Apple Bloom. "That doesn't count."

"Yeah, the fan is running too, I think," Scootaloo snickered.

Sweetie Belle gasped. "That was totally magic!"

"Pfft," said Apple Bloom. "Even if it was, that ain't a new spell. Lots of ponies can use telekinesis, like Twilight."

Scootaloo's eyes lit up. "Twilight! She can settle this. She'll let us know which of us Princess Celestia will make an alicorn."

"Hey, that's a great idea," said Apple Bloom.

"If only you had more of those, we might have our cutie marks by now," Sweetie Belle scoffed. Scootaloo opened her mouth to make a retort, but then Apple Bloom interrupted her by yelling, "Hey, Twilight!"

"Shh, Apple Bloom, this is a library!" Sweetie Belle cautioned.

"Manners are for squares," said Apple Bloom. Scootaloo nodded in agreement.

Twilight arrived downstairs, a smile on her face. "Yes, girls? Is there anything I can help you find?"

"Well, not really," said Scootaloo. "But we do want to know... Who is Princess Celestia going to make into a princess next?"

Twilight blinked a few times. "Well..." she chuckled. "From what I hear, Discord's at the top of the short list."

Comments ( 13 )

Best genre-I like acoustic

Are apples overrated-Nah

Which pony Celestia should make an alicorn-Pinkie Pie

All in all, good story.

I enjoyed the music debate the most, Pinkie had the best overall taste, new music now, ugh.

Best genre: electronica, although I'm partial to some pop.

Are apples overrated: I like apples.

Which pony should Celestia make an alicorn: Fluttershy, clearly

Nopony shall deny the glory of Colts of Bodom!

3962105 Regi, are you a bad fish too? (Are you a bad fish too?)

Genre- Dubstep
Apples- Fruit, no; family, yes.
Alicorn- ALICORNIFY ALL THE PONIES

Best genre - Soundtrack.

Are Apples overrated? - No way!

Which pony Celestia should make an alicorn - I'd say...... Sunset Shimmer.

Can we contribute guest chapters?

Genre - Metal
Apples - Nah.
Alicorn - :derpytongue2:

Best Music Genre: ALL OF THEM

Are apples overrated?: No.

Who should be next princess: I don't know. I think we have enough princesses right now.

Genre- pop rock:scootangel:
Apples- I love to non-alcoholic cider:ajsmug:
Princess- me:derpytongue2:

Login or register to comment