This is very interesting. I'm rather liking it. Do, please, continue. I look forward to the ripples from Chrysalis's little time-boom.

Yes!

This is why you should not mess with the time line.

Assuming this fic is TwiDance, I'd be interested if it wasn't for the rewriting history part.

So. This story is probably going to be amazing.

This is an interesting concept! The execution is going well too. I'll admit to having been impatient with wanting to see the pay off sooner than later once I realized this whole chapter would be etiquette based running around, BUT you changed my outlook with the slowly altering dynamics of the characters.

I enjoyed the hints at Celestia's character as well, her plans and hidden motivations. I hope they come to light with some consequences down the road. So too do I think Shining Armor being sent off like that should have some consequences. He did say he didn't want to controlled by the crown he wished to serve. It would be nice to see him come back with some issues over his academic exile.

Its going to be interesting to see if Twily will have the same control of magic now that she's splitting he time between Princess Celestia's school and Cadence's lessons. As to Twily's BBBFF, I can see two ways this can go down: either they turn into rivals for Cadence's heart, or it turns into a stable three-way relationship. Either way, Queen Chrysalis ain't gettin' any.

3943722 I disagree. This is why you should mess with the timeline. Because Twidance is cutest ship!

3944101 I prefer to call it 'Candlelight' it rolls off the tongue more easily and is better sounding.

So, Cadence is unintentionally pulling an inverted Hikaru Genji plan on Twilight...
Huh. Let's see where this goes.

...and fav'd. Looking forward to more.

Cadence and Twilight has always been one of my guilty pleasures. Shining just...he's such a surfer dude, I can't unhear his voice.

Wait... wait... if this turns into a TwiDance shipping, this thus sends Shining to marry some other pony, who is royalty, I suggest Luna since Twi will be occupied with Cadence, Might as well make shining "Serve" Royalty.

It's nice to see more stories pairing Twilight and Cadance together. I hope for more of them being this adorable and sweet!

3944260 Inverted Hikaru Genji plan?

Interesting... you better make this story a long one, or I shall find you.
Also, is the... removal of Shining Armor's influence from Twilight affecting her personality? I mean... trying to mingle with the crowd, I always thought of Twilight as a pony who wouldn't do such things...

I'm serious. Make this long, there aren't that many Twidance stories out there...
I will sell you my soul if that's what it takes.

3944194

you should read the story, cuz you have NO idea what you're talking about. Those first 2 chapters had NO CLOP whatsoever, my guess is this is one of those mature/sex tags for a few explicit scenes MUCH later down the road. especially since right now it's still in the past...

It also explains why Skeeter ain't here

3944194
That this possesses a mature/sex tag does not immediately label it as clop, my dear fellow. I will admit, a good number of featured stories are genuine clop, but the inclusion of sex does not inherently make it worthy to bear that classification. By nature, clop stories generally contain little to no plot. As Lapis' editor in chief, I can assure you that neither of us would ever write something if it had no moving plot line.

Interesting Premise. Chrysalis goes back in time to stop Shining Armor and Cadence from falling in love, only to have Twilight and Cadence fall in love.

Great Scott? Does she not realize what she's done?

derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTMvMDgvMTIvMTJfMTBfNDlfNDU0XzM5ODMxNF9fc2FmZV90d2lsaWdodF9zcGFya2xlX3NoaXBwaW5nX3NoaW5pbmdfYXJtb3JfZ2F5X2ZsYXNoX3NlbnRyeV9hcnRpc3RfY29sb25fbGFwdG9wZ3VuIl1d/398314__safe_twilight%2Bsparkle_shipping_princess%2Btwilight_shining%2Barmor_gay_flash%2Bsentry_artist-colon-laptopgun.png

(Please, note. Now that Shining's single, I vote Rainbow Dash to be his new bride. I think they have chemistry.)

why I get the feeling this will turn into a (insert relationship polygon here) with cady, twi, crissy, shiny and every other pony one can think. Just don't make this a out of the field futa and we will be happy.

3944955
That... That image. I demand Flash Sentry and Shining Armor shipping! It would be hilarious, if that was the result of that pesky changeling's tampering...

I will be honest, this story caught me off guard. I wasn't sure what I was expecting... But so far, I am very intrigued!

Keep writing Lapis and I will keep reading.

3944818
i beg to differ clop contains an overabundance of 'plot'. dl.dropbox.com/u/21167245/FiMFiction/Emoticons/misc_Octy_plot.png

3945224

Applejack is not amused.

My, my. This looks to be a lot of fun.
My comments include chapter 1 and 2.

Celestia's reaction was...harsh. Like really harsh. "They had an argument! The very thing all ponies have! The nerve. Ship him off to the ends of Equestria!"
I'm hoping to get more info as to what her deal is as the story goes on.

I already feel sorry for Shiney. If this goes the way of Twidance then he gets to see his sister hook up with the mare he once loved(and possibly still loves). That won't be awkward at all...

I'm super curious how that original argument played out without Chrysalis' interference. Besides Shining not getting sent away by tyrant mode Celestia.

With Twilight being joined at the hip with Cadence, as well as getting into more social interaction at a young age, how will this affect her going to Ponyville when Nightmare Moon returns? I'm rather looking forward to how this is handled.

3944818

neither of us would ever write something if it had no moving plot line.

True that. You guys are all about the plot...in every sense of the word(Hey oh!).

And lastly, this wouldn't be a proper comment on a Lapis story without me asking the question he just loves me to ask(don't act like you don't!):
Where's Spike?

3944720
That's what they call it when a man raises a girl as her guardian, only to end up marrying her when she's of age (sometimes that was the plan from the start, sometimes not). Named after the main character in the Genji Monogatari (The Tale of Genji in English), which is probably the first written novel (the early 1000s in Heian-era Japan). Cadence here seems far more involved in Twilight's upbringing, almost like an honorary parent or big sister. The inversion comes from that it appears the romantic interest, initially at least, is coming from the Twilight, not Cadence.

3945659 Ah, okies. Well, we'll see what comes of this. :)

It sounds like you have the setup for a second-order counterfactual. I hope it's a convincing one because most of the time, they're not.

3944733

THAT... Is SO far off the mark it ain't even funny.

The Skeeter part, I mean.

I've faved already, but haven't read it yet.

~Skeeter The Lurker

3944720 In the Japanese classic "Tale of Genji", the main character, Genji, finds a ten-year-old girl, and raises her until she's old enough to marry, and trains her to be the "perfect wife". Inverted because instead of a guy raising a girl, it's a girl raising a girl (if unintentionally). (If it was a girl raising a guy, it would be reverse Hikaru Genji).

3945949 OK.

"know unicorn’s could"
unicorns

How do you think the pairing would affect the plot line? Like how you go about Nightmare Moon and so on?

3944101
Ugh! Worst ship!
There's something that I really hate about ships that involve splitting up a canon couple and turning one of them gay.
(hint: how would the fandom react to a story that did just that but the canon couple was homosexual? It would not be pretty.)

3947523 I'm, er, pretty sure that Cadance isn't being portrayed as exclusively gay in this story given that she was involved with Shining in the first chapter.

3947821
Meh... I find the whole age differential makes this relationship kinda grody.

Plus I like the canon pairing because of what it means: it's like a classic fairy tale or disney couple.

3947893 That's a more valid sort of point to bring up if you're looking for things to complain about. However, we don't even know when the romance proper will kick in.

The plot building, it's so suspensful!!!!! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO CHRYSY!!!!!

You kinda give away the ending with that cover image there.

This looks pretty good. Just one sorta little pet-peeve. It's 'CadAnce'. I know the musical term is cadence, but I'm guessing that Hasbro couldn't trademark that so we get Cadance.
strawberryreef.com/images/Ponies/FIM/PrincessCadenceFIMtalk_M_Hasbro.jpg

3948223
Journey, not the destination.

3946043
Luna went nuts after a prolonged period of stewing in her resentment. Cadence was showing no signs of anything even remotely like it. Grief, yes, but that's it.

Here's a thought - maybe try to figure out what's with the sudden shift in feelings. Celestia didn't even look into the matter at all, just jumped to a conclusion and went for the nuclear option. If her mindrape magic fizzles, try it the old-fashioned way. Love that overcomes obstacles grows stronger because of it; all this shows is that their faith in the vaunted Power of Love is nothing but talk.

Actors change, but story remains the same...

Shining Armour, Bearer of the Element of Magic...?

3948494

I approve very much of your comment

Hmm an interesting dynamic you have introduced, I look forward to seeing you take this very rare ship pretty far.

3948494
3945421

Well, tell me. Would you want your emotion-manipulating protege in a state of extreme emotional distress for any period of time, or in contact with the source of that distress?

Remember what happened to Twilight when she merely thought Celestia would be Disappointed in her? What do you think someone like Cadence, who can literally create an emotion so utterly powerful as love, might do if she doesn't see an end to her pain?

3948260 Holy Craps, the Xenophilia guy likes my story. Senpai!

Also: Yes, I am fully aware that Hasbro's offical name is Cadance. But since her full name is "Cadenza" And therefore "Cadence" I figure it's just as legit.

This Fleur, I like her.

3948606 That would be a lot of fun.

3943722
This why you should mess with time! (on occasions) You get to see someone get cold-cocked

Ok a Unicorn fashion model just knocked out an Earth Pony, now I understand why Rarity was able to take out so many changelings that tribe of Ponykind is stornger than it looks.

Haha, romantic undertones between a young woman and a twelve year old girl. Creeee-py.

*happily clicks next chapter*

Just a note from a french reader :
- "Enchante, ma petite belle"
It's "Enchantée"

"Merde Embulante"
-> "Merde ambulante"

"Ma petite chou"
-> "Mon petit chou" or "Ma (petite) puce" if you want something more "girly"

"Rapide!"
-> To order that something has to be made quickly, use "Vite!" Or "Et vite!"