After the world exploded the second time, Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent were thoroughly confused by the fact they were not dead. They were more confused when they were told about a new form of travel by Slartibarfast that combined bistromathematics and tea.
They were thoroughly confused when they ended up in a land of ponies.
Join our heroes-
Arthur Dent, in his heroic search for tea.
Ford Prefect, in his heroic search for parties and hot girls.
Zaphod Beeblebrox, in his heroic attempt to re-invent the Pan Galactic Gargle blaster.
Slartibarfast, as he repairs the shi- Oh. Wait. That's boring. Nevermind.
And finally Trillian, the only one being minorly reasonable.
Chapters (5)
Wow. You've pretty much nailed the narration style. Still wondering how Zaphod and Trillian got onto the ship since they weren't on the second Earth, but I'm sure it'll all be explained.
3944761
Probably because I just read all the books in one week.
Thats probably the reason for the narration being somewhat similar.
3947465 I suppose there are worse ways to get immersed in the H2G2 universe.
3948224
I wasn't immersed per say.
Lets just say I needed reading material in the bathroom.
Enh.
I'm a big Hitchhikers' fan, but I don't think you've really captured the feel of the series...but for what it's worth, you're still better than the sixth book by Eoin Colfer...what a bad sequel to a great series...
3965393
Thanks for the feedback!
Nobody here has given me a real opinion yet, so I'll take what I can get. Can you point out where exactly I did it wrong?
3968452 Oh, tough call.
Since its a feeling (and not a stark contrast to something) it's hard to say.
I think you got the randomness of the series down (after all; Hitchhikers didn't have a theme to it, it was just a vague goal with some interesting stuff happening along with way in it).
As for what made it an Adams classic I'd say that you need each chapter to have a bit more structure. Its been a while since I've re-read the series (I do that every few years), but as I recall, each chapter would have the crew (or at least a crew member) have a particular encounter with something off the wall. They'd all have a vague goal, something interesting happens, and then they'd move on.
Think Monty Python and the Holy Grail for a reference (Fun note: Douglas Adams wrote for the series a couple of times, but was never was a major player; despite that he was originally credited as being a Python in America...there, I've show just how Geeky I am). Anyway, in that movie, they have a vague goal--getting the grail--but once they've started out the viewer stops caring about it. Just have the crew(member) try to do something particular for that one chapter and don't dash around too much with other stuff until the next chapter. Hitchcock called this, "The Muguffin".
In a Hitchhikers book, this can happen immediately (Arther and Ford get off of earth before it explodes, they get to the Restaurant at the end of the universe, Zaphod finds that planet with all the wealth that i can't remember how to spell, etc.). Things just seem to change rapidly in the plot with no real reason and the protagonist (Arthur) is the only one who either cares or notices afterward. I'd extend this to Twilight (or any other of the Mane six with the exception of Pinkie Pie--who'd enjoy it--or Rainbow Dash--who wouldn't care in any case normally).
You have a decent start, but it just needs a bit more work. But that's okay, you're trying not to rip off someone else style, but instead to pay homage to it. And I can at least respect that.
Hope this helps.
3969219
Thanks!
Actually, I was trying to make it somewhat similar (the randomness) but that ain't ripping off.
Right?
3969688 nah, nah, nah. It's "Being inspired by", not "cheap rip off".
There's something they taught us in college about art, "No artist lives in a bubble." You're playing in someone elses sandbox that's for sure, but we all knew that. This is a fanfiction site after all.
It's okay to be inspired by Douglas. Ya just got to take it and make it your own.
3969742
Suffice it to say, I'm not old enough to know anything taught in college about art :P.
I know I'm six years late, but God's last message to his creation was "We apologize for the inconvenience."