The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy: The edited out stuff.

by boothnat

Negotiations.

The guide has this to say about plot holes.
Plot holes, are things authors thrive on. For example, in this story, we have no idea how Zaphod got on the Teabag. However, since this fact is of no major consequence, it shall be ignored, and shall be ignored, since the author can not be bothered to give the reader an explanation.
This is an example of a stereotypical plot hole, it says.
It is probably irrelevant that that 'this' was supposed to be a link taking you to a completely to a different story.
It is probably a coincidence that this story has the exact same plot hole.
Ford looked at the Guide in horror, and sent a recommendation of what he thought the entry should be changed to.
A plot hole, is the hole a sentient being has in it's plot.
He then walked up to Arthur, and asked him-
"Do you see a bunch of cute, adorable, ponies?"
"Yes, I do."
"That's odd. I thought I was mad."
"Maybe you are."
"Maybe we both are."
"Hmmm."
They then looked towards the ponies.
They were still there.
Then Ford looked up, for no discernible reason, and spotted the Vogon constructor fleet.
It was at that moment that the announcement began.
Every single metal object suddenly tuned itself and became an instrument. An instrument to tell the world of it's doom. An instrument to announce the arrival of the deliverers of said doom.
Which meant the announcement was rather soft, since there isn't really much metal in Equestria.
"Horribly cute creatures on you're horrible B-grade planet. You have been marked for destruction. Please remain on the planet till we can charge up our constructor beams by getting some Theoretical Physicists from our home dimension.Also, please hand over the ship on your surface so that we can get back to our home dimension."
It was probably just a coincidence that a few miles away, a rule book which had exactly one page hit a stallion called Flash Sentry on the head, thus knocking him out and causing amnesia. This led to a spy action adventure similar to that of The Boner Ultimantum, or the Jarvis Bond series.
A white pony which had both wings and a horn and was taller than the others politely asked Ford Prefect-
"Is the ship you arrived in the one they are talking about?"
Ford decided to play along with the hallucination, and nodded his head.
The pony, which we shall call an alicorn, threw a fireball at the ship.
The ship exploded.
Ford stared in horror.
He was not angry because he could never go back home.
He was not angry because that ship had probably been worth a nice amount of money.
He was angry because all the Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters he could possible drink were on that ship.
So he did the most logical thing a person with a hangover could do.
He walked up to the alicorn, and slapped it in the face.
After having a nice flavour sampling of the dirt, he was helped up by the alicorn, to whom he was complaining on and on.
"DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET A GOOD DRINK ON A PLANET AS BACKWATER AS YOURS? DO YOU? DO YOU?"
He then proceeded to call the alicorn a number of names, none of them good, and with more than half of them not making any sense.
After he was done, there was a horrible deathly silence.
All eyes were on him.
At which point a blue alicorn, who was next to the white one, began to grin.

Two hours later.
"AND NOW, IN THE GREATEST TROLL OFF OF ALL TIME, PRINCESS LUNA IS EASILY DOMINATING THE ALIEN CALLED FORD PREFECT! AND NOW FORD IS DOMINATING! FORD! LUNA! FORD! LUNA! THAT'S IT! I QUIT! I *cough* HAVE GOTTEN ENOUGH THROAT INJURIES IN THIS FIELD DUE TO ANNOUNCING! GOOD*cough*BYE!"
Ford stared at Luna. He was playing a delicate game. One of skill and concentration. The name of the game, was Trolling.
It was a rather simple game,, of which the rules are probably known by all readers of this story. Ford prepared his ace card, his top move.
"You, are a pile of Belgium ridden Dingo's kidneys."
Luna grinned, and answered-
"Well, you were raised in Belgium while eating Belgium out of your father, who's name was Belgium."
Water vapor in a liquid form came out of Ford's ears. He grabbed Luna's throat and began to say something, at which point he realized he had lost the Troll off.
He grumpily sat down. He then asked-
"Hey, want to play a drinking game?"

************************************
Arthur Dent stared at the zebra in front of him. He was currently engrossed in a adventure.
After describing the details of the herb to the zebra, it nodded.
"The herb that you seek, I can find in much, much less than a week. Wait here for now, I shall get it faster than a cow."
Arthur Dent stared at her.
"I could not find a good rhyme, and yet I had to keep in rhyme, so T'was not really a fault of mine."
The zebra known as zebra went into her hut, and came out with some leaves, and a cauldron of water. Arthur put the cauldron over a fire, and put the leaves in. He then waited a while. When he thought the time was ripe, dipped a cup in, and drank the mixture.
It rejuvenated him. The stress he had been feeling melted away like butter on toast. His happiness was incomparable to that of the second happiest man in the galaxy, since the first one was him. He was happy as happy can possibly be without burning out you're happiness centers.
The guide has this to say on happiness.
Happiness, is a lie.
Sure, some people can have it, but everyone else can't. Very few know how to trade it, and those who do, generally prefer to keep the thing to themselves. Therefore, since we can not be sure if everyone has it, it must be a lie."
Arthur, with the grin of one who has been recently enlightened, looked up at Twilight and Zecora, and asked-
"Do either of you want a cup of tea?"

"Why are you drinking Poison Joke?"