• Published 18th May 2014
  • 1,435 Views, 29 Comments

Apples, Tanks, N' Badflanks - ultra1437

Celestia and Luna go on an unexpected adventure after a drinking contest gone awry. Let’s follow them, and see what kind of trouble and adventure our drunken princesses can manage to find!

  • ...

50 Years Later

“Thank you again for helping me, Celestia,” A voice with enough gravel in it to be the foundation of a building spoke. The voice’s owner, a massive elder-dragon named Sal’Kath, her maroon scales gleaming in the sunlight, and her son, a forest-green scaled drake named Kal’Thoss, were guided through Canterlot Castle’s garden by their gracious host, Princess Celestia. Without breaking her stride, she looked over her shoulder and smiled softly to Sal’Kath.

“It’s no problem, Sal. I quite enjoy helping teach others, if you hadn’t remembered.” Celestia strode through the gardens until reaching a pair of benches, and she sat down on one promptly. Sal’Kath strode around the benches, settling down in a rather large clearing just to their side. Kal’Thoss took the final bench, sitting awkwardly on the pony-sized furniture.

“So, what did you want to learn about, Kal’Thoss?” Celestia spoke before smiling softly.

The large drake fidgeted, the wings on his back fluttering lightly. “I would like to learn something of diplomacy, your Majesty.” At Celestia’s surprised look, he continued, “It’s been somewhat of a dream of mine to become Drakkenridge’s first diplomat to Equestria.”

“I see. What brought this dream about, if I may ask?” The smile that never seemed to leave her face for long returned.

“Well, there are stories back in Drakkenridge of the two Pony Princesses who control the sun and moon, you know?” Celestia nodded and he continued, “I’ve always wanted to meet with them and their subjects.”

Sal interrupted, “Imagine my surprise when I contacted you, and found out that there were two more Pony Princesses! One Princess of Love, and one of Friendship! I simply had to come and meet them myself!”

Celestia nodded at Sal. “Both Princess Twilight Sparkle and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza will be along shortly, so I may introduce them.”

“There was one other thing that he wanted to know, Celestia. I hope it’s not too big of a deal…” Sal spoke softly, wings settling down against her sides.

Celestia perked her right ear in Sal’s direction. “Oh? What might this other thing be? I imagine it must be embarrassing if you had to bring it up.”

The young drake’s face blushed as he quietly answered her question, “I-I admit I also wished to taste you.”

Celestia’s face turned beet red, but her expression remained neutral as she blinked twice. “That’s certainly… forward of you.” She blinked again before shaking her head softly. “I’m sorry Kal’Thoss, but I must refuse your advance–”

“–No! Not like that!” He stood swiftly, flailing his arms. “That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying I wish to taste you, Princess. I’m hungry, and you would make a fine meal!” He took one menacing step forward, baring his teeth.

“Well, that’s a much less embarrassing question.” Celestia smiled softly again. “Though, I’m afraid my answer is still no.”

Kal’Thoss stepped forward angrily, taking a large breath. “Such a stubborn little princess. You’ll be in my belly before long!” He expelled his breath in a gout of blue flame, washing over Celestia’s form entirely. The breath lasted twenty seconds and left the immediate area around where Celestia sat dry and smoking heavily.

Sal’Kath tossed a sharp look at her son. “I think you may have overdone it, Kal. You want her to be cooked just right, not a pile of ash.”

As the smoke started to clear, a voice chuckled. A light, airy little thing. “Oh, my. It’s been quite a while since anything on Equus has tried to attack me in such a direct manner!” Almost where she’d been sitting, Celestia sat. She held a bare hoof to her mouth as she continued to chuckle, her now-melted gold regalia pooling about her hooves. Her rump was no longer on the bench, as it had melted from Kal’Thoss’ flame breath.

Sal’Kath’s eyes widened in surprise. “Young Kal, your flame wasn’t strong enough! Come, let mother show you how to roast a princess!” She took a massive lungful of air, her intake swaying the grass nearby. The flame she expelled wasn’t blue, it was stark-white and her cone easily dwarfed Kal’s, lasting twice as long.

As the pair waited for the smoke to clear, a dark blue flash shone from within the smoke, before dissipating. To both dragons’ surprise, her voice filtered through the smoke, “Well, it seems the both of you came here with the intention to kill and eat me.” The smoke cleared and Celestia stood, nonchalantly checking the area out as her ponies fled the area.

“You know, I never expected the sun granting me immunity to heat would be this useful…” She checked herself over, finding herself pristine, other than her regalia was missing. “I really ought to enchant this next set of regalia to be as resistant to heat as I am. That’s twice this century that they’ll have to be replaced.” She chuckled again. “Now, dear Kal’Thoss, let me teach you something of diplomacy.” Unfelt by the two dragons, the temperature in the area rose sharply.


Princess Luna shot up from her bed. Celestia’s message was clear. ‘Two dragons attempting assassination. Need the Equalizer. I’m in the gardens.

Luna rolled to her hooves before dashing out into the hallway, surprising the guards at her door. She barrelled down the hallway, leaping over a mare that stopped to gawk at her. Her guards exchanged a look before taking off down the hallway after their charge.

Luna took to wing as she entered a large hallway, soaring well above the other ponies on the ground. As she soared through the hallway she spotted her exit. She folded her wings and hit the marble floor solidly as she slid on her hooves, hoofcovers sparking madly, through a double-door before hopping into the air and taking to wing again. Beating her wings hard, she barely slowed down at all. Her guards, who had just started to catch up, whistled in begrudging admission at how quickly Luna could move if she had to.

She tore down the latest hallway, down a flight of stairs, and came to a stop at a door marked ‘Armory.’ She stepped inside as her guards skidded to a halt behind her.

“Your Highness! What seems to be the issue?” One of them called out, both stepping in behind her.

“My sister is beset upon by a pair of dragons. She says she requires the Equalizer.” She stalked through the armory, surprising several new recruits being fitted for their armor.

“Princess Celestia is scheduled to be meeting with a pair of dragons right now, surely something can’t have gone wrong!” The other guard reasoned, following his charge and attempting to help her in her search.

“I received her missive just before starting my trek here. ‘Tis not the time to be arguing with me, guardstallion.” She made her way to the Armory’s rear section, where more unique weapons were stored. Before entering the section, she stopped and turned to her two guards. Narrowing her eyes she spoke quickly, “If you are two are to assist me in this task, keep the hallway clear and everypony out of my way. The Equalizer is terribly heavy.”

One guard saluted and strode back through the armory, trying to keep a path clear. “Do you need help lifting it, Your Highness?” the other asked.

“No. I simply require a clear path. Go, help your comrade.” He saluted and left.

Luna turned and entered the armory’s rear. There in the center, serving as little more than a table for three dozen assorted spears and a storage rack for serrated ballista bolts, was the Equalizer. ‘It has been fifty years already since that event…’ During their misadventures on another planet, courtesy of Discord, they acquired a weapon each from the local sentient species.

When they returned and settled in, Luna reinforced the enchantments on her own Avenger. and Celestia set her own on what she then referred to as the Equalizer. The entire turret from an M1A1 Abrams tank, it showed many battle scars from its acquisition. Its enchantments were few, but powerful. Spent shells were magically restocked, it was nearly indestructible – unlike when they had first acquired their weapons – and it had a shielding efficiency enchantment on it, allowing shield spells placed on and projected through it to be much stronger.

In a rare fit of artistic fancy, Celestia had spent one of her rare, free afternoons painting it to match her own color palette. The Equalizer’s main body was painted alabaster, like her coat, with a pink, light green and light blue wavy streak matching her hair running from the front to its rear. Her cutie mark adorned each rear corner, and the word ‘Equalizer’ was painted in fancy, alabaster lettering on both of the black barrel’s sides.

Sister, ‘Tia, I hope you know what you are doing.’ Luna’s horn lit and the other weapons were lifted off the turret, stowed away in other racks. Her horn lit brighter, taking on an extra coating of overglow as her telekinetic aura surrounded the turret. She grunted loudly as she strained to lift the fifteen-ton weapon. Slowly, the Equalizer acquiesced to her demand that it rise, lifting so it’s barrel pointed straight at her face.

Once it was in the air, Luna trekked back out into the armory proper, the weapon following along behind her. She called out loudly, “Guards! Is there a clear path?” ‘The only room close enough to where I think she is, is the throne room.

“Yes, Your Highness. The path is clear.” One shouted back.

“Very good! See that it stays that way until I pass, would you? I need to be quick!” Despite the Equalizer weighing her down through her telekinesis, Luna broke out into as much of a gallop as she could, quickly passing through the armory and back out into the hall. While the first guard had cleared a path through the armory, the other guard had taken it upon himself to have a path cleared to the first major intersection.

She quickly ascended the stairs and caught up to to him. “I shall take it from here, thank you.”

She took a few steps back and bellowed, “Princess coming through, make way!” before charging through the intersection, a few ponies barely missing her as they reflexively jumped to the side.

Every intersection she’d shout again, slowing down very little on her trek to the throne room. Reaching the room, she cast a shield spell on the turret, a pair of light blue planes forming a wedge on its top, and rammed it at the doors, knocking them not only open, but off their hinges and apart into the room. ‘‘Tia will be angry at me for that later, but it is not the time to dwell on it.

Stopping in the room’s center, she focused her magic once more, reaching out for Celestia’s magical signature. “Gotcha, sister,” she said as she turned to face her sister’s direction. Rearing up on her hindlegs, she squinted one eye and her left foreleg reached back, the Equalizer levitating to touch against her hoof as she gathered her power.

Once she was certain of her angle, returned to all fours and hovered the turret out in front of herself, well up and above her head. Turning around, she crouched forward, placing all her weight on her front hooves and lifted her hindlegs off the ground entirely. She gathered her strength for a second, coiling in her hindlegs as well, before pushing hard against the floor with her forelegs. Her forelegs propelled her straight up, and with a single wing, she twisted herself so when she reached the peak of her jump, her hindlegs just barely scraped against the Equalizer’s rear. She bucked, hard.

The Equalizer rocketed up and forward, smashing through a window and out into the gardens. “Celestia! Your delivery is here!” Luna let loose one last cry before slamming into the floor, panting. Her guards caught up and were greeted with the sight of their charge passed out, sprawled on her back, on the throne room’s floor.


Celestia dodged a claw as it tried to rip her apart. After the dragons’ failed barbeque, Kal’Thoss resorted to trying to rip her to shreds. As his strikes missed, she giggled and Kal came to absolutely loathe that little laugh as she taunted him, angering him further.

Sal sat and watched as her son attempted to rip Celestia apart excitedly. Her son had made it clear before taking off after Celestia, “She’s mine.”

After a few minutes’ fighting, it was clear to Sal’Kath that Celestia was either stalling for something or toying with the drake. ‘Possibly both,’ she thought. She thought of intervening, but the dishonor it would bring Kal might drive him to another suicidal venture, should he survive this one.

A crash nearby interrupted her ruminations as Celestia took to wing, toward the source. Sal’s head shot up and she spied a large object soaring through a window. “Celestia! Your delivery is here!” rang through the garden as Celestia tore away from Kal, now on an intercept course for the object.

Wow, that thing got some distance. Somepony in there’s got a good set of legs!’ Sal thought, the object halfway between herself and the window it had crashed through. Celestia snapped one of her wings against her body and spun in midair as she reached the object, snapping the other shut when she completed her turn. Her horn glowed bright as she snagged the object and she slid as her hooves hit the ground. Both the object and herself slid to a stop next to each other. She smirked confidently as she spoke, “You had your chance to kill me. Now, I’m giving you the chance to surrender or flee.” She stomped a hoof and yelled, “If you attack me now, I cannot guarantee you will survive another day!”

Kal’Thoss ignored her warning, entirely too consumed in his rage at being played a fool. He charged at her again, picking up speed quickly, and she stood her ground. As the drake neared her, he pounced, letting gravity aid his momentum. In response, her horn’s glow intensified and the Equalizer moved to block him.

“Not gonna work, Princess!” He plowed into the turret, thinking his claws would shred through it like paper. Instead, he found himself snout first against it, stopped cold. His left claw found purchase in its armor, and as he tried to remove it, he found himself stuck. “C’mon, let me go!”

Celestia turned her weapon around before looking at the scene before her. He was stuck helplessly to her weapon and fruitlessly trying to free himself. There were only two beings in the area who could free him, one of which his own enemy. She weighed her options before speaking motherly, “Now, young Kal’Thoss–” He whipped his head around in time to see her eyes flash dangerously. “–you are at my mercy. Unless you ask your mother to free you, that is.” She chuckled lightly, as if the idea was preposterous.

He snarled, pulling hard on his stuck claw. Sal’Kath stood slowly, quietly padding the long way around over to the pair.

“Not so fast, Princess,” Sal’s voice interjected as she plodded up behind them. Surprised, Celestia was whipping around when one of Sal’s wings slapped her, the claw on her wingtip causing a small cut under her right eye, throwing her skyward and away from the drake and the Equalizer. As Celestia’s telekinesis faded from the weapon, the mare trying to recover and return, Sal’s right claw kept it upright while the other yanked the drake free.

Sal tutted dismissively. “Kal, your notions of draconic honor and pride–” she spat the words venomously, “–will prevent you from asking for help on this hopeless venture.” She stepped forward, lowering the weapon and her son to the ground.

After he popped free, Kal kicked the turret petulantly, a resounding clang echoing through the clearing. “Mom, I had her. You didn’t have to intervene!”

Her right wingtip bopped him on the head. “No, you didn’t. You never stood a chance, dear. I hoped that she might beat some sense into you,” Sal sighed before continuing, “but it seems that you’re really your father’s son after all. It can’t be helped, then, I’m helping you.”

Kal let out a whine that would have sounded more at home on a drake a third of his size.

After Celestia had reoriented herself, she was just landing a fair distance away, on the other side of the Equalizer, as she listened in on the exchange. Sal noticed her and hefted the turret in both her claws before throwing it at Celestia.

Noticing the elder dragon’s actions, Celestia hopped back and lit her horn, giving herself room to maneuver. The Equalizer left Sal’s claws, its barrel intent on skewering its owner. Celestia heard a massive pair of wings beat as she hastily wrapped a telekinetic field about the weapon, intent on bringing it to heel. As it slowed down, she was pushed back a dozen feet by her telekinetic feedback.

She barely had enough time to turn it around before Kal was upon her, roaring. He swiped at her horn with a claw, Celestia barely avoiding the attack only by her telekinetic feedback. She hopped backward, doing a complete 360 degree turn in midair with a flourish, her weapon attempting to stay nearby and ready.

Sal’s massive form flew overhead as Kal roared again, before launching into another charge. Celestia turned her massive weapon on Sal as she shouted, “You are truly set on this course, Sal’Kath? You truly mean to take my life?

Celestia danced around the drake’s latest charge, galloping to gain some distance. As she did so, Sal’Kath spewed white hot flames toward the palace, intent on causing as much damage as possible to the structure. Her massive wings beat quickly three times and she landed on one of the palace’s towers, claws digging in and crushing stone.

As the drake was left in Celestia’s dust, Sal’s voice boomed, “Indeed, Celestia. With you gone, your sister will fall even more swiftly than you did, and the dragons can rightfully regain their place as the masters of this world.

You leave me no choice then, Sal. I thought you were a friend, but I was obviously mistaken,’ Celestia thought. Sal turned her fire on the palace, intent on bringing it down. Celestia skidded to a halt and she focused on her weapon. In the span of a single second, her telekinesis had popped open the ammunition box’s hatch, snatched a shell, and rammed it into the barrel.

The drake was too far out to interrupt her, still ten seconds away at his full sprinting speed. Celestia flipped off the safety and took careful aim at Sal’Kath. Celestia spoke one last time, in the Royal Canterlot Voice, “Then you leave me no choice, Sal’Kath. You have attempted to take the life of one of Equestria’s rulers. Your life is now forfeit.” Her telekinesis pressed the trigger.

From the drake’s point of view, a bright flash shone from the weapon, something emerging from it before a cloud of smoke obscured it and his target from view. He almost missed the small, yellow… thing as it streaked toward Sal’Kath. What sounded like a dozen thunderbolts slammed into his ears as it slammed into his mother. Kal’Thoss watched a jet of fire tear through the wings on his mother’s back. The leathery membranes melted and withered, obviously going to interfere with Sal’s airworthiness.

Surprised by the strike, Sal’Kath cried out in pain, a claw thrashing into the tower she’d perched on. Kal’s charge faltered and he stopped, watching his mother tear the tower she was on apart in pain. She leapt from the tower as it crumbled and spread her wings, desperately flapping to stave off gravity.

The holes Celestia’s weapon had torn through them rendered them useless as she plummeted to the ground after the tower, roaring. Celestia, watching Sal fall from the corner of her eye, rounded on Kal. Kal snarled before starting to charge again. She held up a hoof. “I used this weapon exactly once on your mother, and look what happened to her. What would happen should I strike you with it?”

He charged, yelling “My mother isn’t dead, Princess. We both know that.” Celestia unfurled her wings and crouched, the Equalizer hovering next to her.

Kal’Thoss anticipated her taking off and jumped high. “I never said she was.” ‘She’s not going to be flying any time in the near future, though.’ was left unsaid as Celestia surged forward, under Kal’s pounce and behind him, weapon following faithfully. Kal twisted himself in the air, readying to chase after her when he touched down. A roar broke their attention on each other as the elder dragon charged into the battlefield, bowling over Kal and sending him sprawling several dozen yards to roughly strike his head and knock him out cold.

Celestia stopped and spun about, seeing mother charge son accidentally. ‘I need to put a stop to this quickly, before anyone else gets hurt or worse.’ She reloaded a solid-core shell into the cannon as she shouted, “Sal’Kath. Stop this madness. Flee from Canterlot, from Equestria, and your transgressions will be forgiven, your life spared. If not, I will end this fight.

Never. You ponies have been taking what dragons have considered our territory for centuries. That ends today!” Sal howled back, a single paw tearing at the ground in a distinct sign of aggression. Celestia took aim as Sal started her charge. Sal thundered toward her, Celestia waiting for the best chance. As Sal got within twenty paces, Celestia fired again and darted off to the side while the smoke obscured her from vision.

Sal, despite seeing the weapon fire this time, didn’t have the time to dodge as it struck her right foreleg, instead of the jet of molten metal and flame like last time, the projectile stayed solid, slamming through her scales, the muscle underneath and even through the bone. It exited the other side and sailed off into the distance, well off Mount Canterhorn as Sal’s leg buckled, failing to hold her weight with the bone split. Sal didn’t even have time to register what had happened before she was on her side, a wing pinned painfully between her body and the ground.

Celestia watched as the smoke cleared. Sal lay on her side, her inured foreleg spilling blood. She walked up to what she considered a safe distance from the injured dragon. “I will tell you once more, Sal’Kath. Leave or forfeit your life.”

Sal’s eyes had gone wide and she now only saw red from anger and pain. Immediately after Celestia had stopped speaking, Sal breathed another blast of fire at Celestia, the only thing she could do at that range. Sal got to her feet, favoring her injury, before lunging as quickly as she could. Celestia sighed morosely, her ears pinned back shamefully. As Sal neared, she hopped backward, out of range again. “So be it. I’ll be sure to make this as quick and painless as I can.”

Celestia reloaded another solid-core shell again as she started to circle Sal. “I’m sorry, Sal. I just wish this could’ve ended peacefully.” Celestia carefully aimed her weapon once more as her horn lit brighter, a kinetic blast buffeted Sal’s head and neck, forcing the injured dragon’s head and neck to spin almost completely around. Celestia quickly pulled the trigger once more. Thunder sounded and the shell struck the soft scales, burrowing into Sal’s neck, before making its way into her skull. From the force striking her, Sal’s neck bent at an unnatural angle. The ancient dragon’s thick skull kept the shell from exiting the other side as the projectile lost momentum.

Celestia stood as the smoke cleared again, watching the consequences of her actions as the dragon’s body went limp, blood flowing from her wounds. Tears in the corners of her eyes, she turned back to the castle, her horn glowing blue once more as she sent a message to Luna. ‘It is done, Luna. The elder of the two is dead, the other is unconscious.

Celestia didn’t flinch as a matching blue flash appeared in the sky. Luna took a look at the scene before her before swooping down to her sister.

“What happened, sister?” Luna asked. She took stock of the wounds on the dragon and her sister’s near-pristine condition.

Celestia’s eyes focused only on the dragon corpse before her, but she softly answered, “They wanted to eat me.” She sniffed once, her voice now just a whisper, “They wanted to kill you. They wanted to destroy Equestria. They wanted to take back what they considered theirs, Luna.”

After a moment spent in silence, Celestia looked back to her sister, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. “I have a feeling that this is only the start of a coming war.”

“With reasons like that, I will have to agree.” One of Luna’s wings moved to Celestia’s face, wiping away her tears.

“We will have to train our ponies in the art of war once more, Luna. I only had to do it once while you were gone,” Celestia’s head turned away ashamedly as she spoke, pain was the strongest emotion in her voice.

“I know, I read about it while reacclimating. Twilight offered some notes on it that she said came from you personally.” Luna’s wing moved to the other side of Celestia’s face, wiping the other eye clear.

“They most certainly did.” Celestia set her weapon down and looked at Luna. “What do you want to do with the other? We have nowhere to keep him safely contained.”

Luna replied seriously, “We have two choices. Send him back with a message, or kill him.”

“He’s going to deliver a message or be a message, then,” Celestia spoke morosely. Luna nodded.

“How many of our ponies were hurt during the battle or when the tower collapsed?” Celestia looked to the tower that had collapsed, fearing the worst.

Luna perked up at that. She smiled slightly before replying, “Just one, a part of a stone block knocked him for a loop, but others saved him before the tower came down.” She turned Celestia’s head back to herself and continued, “I’m just glad that you’re fireproof, sister. If that was me…” she let the statement go unfinished.

Celestia took a deep breath. “I didn’t want it to end this way, but they left me with no choice except to fight or die.” Tears started falling again and Luna wrapped her in a hug. “I’m just glad it was me and not you too, sister.”

A pair of wings beat closer before their owner set down nearby. “Celestia? Are you alright?” a meek voice asked.

Luna looked up to notice Twilight had arrived. Luna answered for her sister, “She was just attacked by two dragons. Physically she may be fine, but she does not take lives easily. She never has.”

Twilight nodded before motioning to Celestia. “Do you want me to manage the public for now? Get the reconstruction effort underway?”

Luna looked to her sister, who shook her head. “No, Twilight. Thank you for the offer, though. Make sure Cadance is informed as well, please.” Twilight nodded and took off, returning to their ponies to try to calm them down.

Celestia laughed lightly. “No rest for the wicked, right Luna?” Luna’s muscles locked up. Celestia looked up at Luna’s face.

Luna was shocked. Her first reaction overpowered everything else and a hoof roughly found Celestia’s cheek. Celestia kept her gaze averted ashamedly as her cheek blazed red from the strike. “I-I’m sorry, Luna. That joke was in poor taste.”

Luna grabbed her sister’s head, forcing Celestia to look into her eyes. “No. That was not for the joke. A joke I can take, but this self-degradation must stop, Celestia! You are not a wicked pony or a monster. Never will you be one, either.” Luna pulled Celestia’s head to her barrel. “You are far too kind and trusting to ever truly become a monster.” Luna released her sister entirely, getting to her hooves and nuzzled Celestia.

Celestia hiccuped once before opening her mouth. Luna beat her to the punch. “Celestia. If you ever think of yourself becoming a monster, I want you to come to me. Whether or not you are actually becoming a monster, we can head it off alright?” Looking down, Celestia nodded once.

“When did you get so profound, Luna?” Celestia asked, honest curiosity in her voice.

“My time with Nightmare on the moon gave me plenty of time to think and reflect.” Luna winked. “Though, as of late my stock has been running low. Luckily I have such a wise sister to help me when I stumble. I just hope to be there to help when she does.”

Celestia’s eyes widened. “You-You’re joking about your banishment? Why are you taking that punishment so lightly?”

“Because, ‘Tia, I’ve let it go. I did decades ago. You should too. You can’t keep letting your mistakes punish you constantly.” Luna helped Celestia to her hooves. “Promise me you’ll try to let your mistakes go. I hate to see you beating yourself up over the past and not looking to the future–”

Celestia pressed a hoof against Luna’s lips. “Lu, you’re rambling again. I get what you’re trying to say, and I will honestly do my best to let it go, but I want you here to help me, alright?”

Luna nodded before Celestia removed her hoof. “Now, let’s go get the other dragon and reassure our ponies that I’m just fine.”

Author's Note:

This idea came to me one night and refused to let me sleep until I at least had the barebones for a chapter. You know what that means for all of you? BONUS CHAPTER! Here it is!

Comments ( 12 )

The vehicle choices were very appropriate: A fast and deadly flyer for the smaller, quicker Luna; A massively powerful and visually intimidating tank for the elder and wiser Celestia.

This is the steering unit of an M1 Abrams tank. Obviously, I hadn't described it properly. I'm going to leave myself a note to do so tomorrow.

Also, the transmission in the Abrams is an automatic, so there's no clutch to bother with, per source. That doesn't excuse rolling forward, but this is a story about colorful diminutive equines. Some kind of suspension of disbelief has to happen here.

Now, I'm going to assume that post wasn't as condescending as it appeared to be written, nor does this one, and thank you for your criticism. It has been taken into account, and edits will be made accordingly.

just of note, the WWII German Tiger 1 had a steering wheel.

Is there a sequel?

Wu-wuwha-h wait! Is that... An A10 pulling an Abrams... With literal rope... While being shot at by more 30mm form other A10's? Not only should've the Abram's sank, but I'm pretty sure the tank's 105 or 120mm gun alone would've sank the A10 by sheer weight...

Just... how? Heck, the Abrams should've sunk in the water alone, considering how heavy modern MBT's are... It's not an IFV...

This makes my brain hurt...

I'm definitely gonna read this later, this feels like comedy gold.

Right? It's such an absurd mental image I had one evening, I had to write a story about it.

There's actually two parts to this particular description. The hit was directly to the ammunition rack, which depending on the hit will either cook off, or detonate. This was the latter, and the force caused the turret to fly off. This is a real life phenomena.

Depending on the variant of the Abrams it may have had a blow-out rack where the weakest point wasn't into the turret and cabin, but out and away. Not all variants have this.

Also for this, gyrostabilizers are only so good. Rapid momentum changes can and will still cause shots to miss as the gyro can only compensate so fast.

Lessened learned: Always cast magic under the influence! It wins your wars! - Discord

Oh well, laughs aside this was fun short adventure. Poor hoomans must’ve been confused after all that.


Poot crew, out of curiosity what did Tia fire? I don’t think either apfsds or heat could’ve gotten through the turret unless it was through the breach(somehow) or turret ring.

I didn't have any specifics for that, but it likely was a lucky hit HEAT shell that dropped into the turret ring, or down the barrel for just playing up the intensity of the fight. Might've hit the commander's viewports, those are weaker too.

As well, the Leo 2 may have a better gyro as it's newer. A lot of the fight is played up for drama, while still being grounded in (theoretically) realistic capabilities of the equipment.

That’s true enough. Though, when you mention the commanders view port, I get flash backs of German panzer cupolas…

Funny thing, I once made the mistake in a game of thinking Leopard 2’s had high firepower and mobility but low amour like the Leopard 1. My poor, poor tank and repair cost… oh, and the crew. That too.

Login or register to comment