• Published 18th May 2014
  • 1,343 Views, 29 Comments

Apples, Tanks, N' Badflanks - ultra1437



Celestia and Luna go on an unexpected adventure after a drinking contest gone awry. Let’s follow them, and see what kind of trouble and adventure our drunken princesses can manage to find!

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Equestrian Intermissions 5 - I Kind-of Speak Jive!

Discord had taken up residence in the royal archives, flanked by Pinkie and Rarity. Though neither of Twilight’s friends had quite the same fervor for devouring anything with a printed or written word on it, they still wanted to help retrieve their missing princesses.

Each of them were pouring over a book, and in Pinkie’s case, it might as well have been literal. She sat upside-down in a chair, staring at the book on the floor. Discord rested on a toilet, likely pulled from a restroom somewhere, and Rarity reclined on her own couch.

“Discord, darling, have a look at this.” She floated her book over to him, and pointed to a spell. “This one looks like it might be able to find them, if we have something of sufficient personal value.”

Pinkie hopped up and looked over the Draconequus’s shoulder. “What's that mean, ‘sufficient personal value’? Sounds like a load of hooey, to me.”

Discord shrugged. “I may have only recently been reformed, but even if even I can see the flaw in that spell, it won't help us.” Rarity took the book back, and flipped a few more pages.

“Ooh! Ooh! I think I've got something, Dissy-wissy!” Discord cringed and his ears folded back at the nickname. Pinkie bounced over and plopped her book down on top of the one he'd been skimming. “This one says something about finding lost ponies, but only if they want to be found.”

“Pinkie Pie, that sounds exactly what we're looking for!” Rarity chimed in, looking over at the book.

Discord looked the spell over, before chuckling. “This one looks like it might do it, Pinkie.”

“Well, if it works, that'd be superriffic!” She bounced in place for a few seconds. “Well, aren'tcha gonna try the spell?”

“We need a few things, first. This spell is old enough that it needs a conduit to cast right. And something sentimental of theirs, but that's easy enough to find.” He smiled darkly before continuing, “I suppose in a pinch we could even use Twilight. She has to mean something to Celestia, probably.”

Rarity was horrified, but Pinkie spoke up first, “What? Why would you even say that, Dissy-wissy? Of course she means something to the Princess. I mean, taking Twilight under her wing when she was just a filly and all, that had to count for something!”

Discord looked Pinkie in the eye as he replied, “I’ve known Celestia, and Luna for that matter, for far longer than either of you might realize. To be honest, I wouldn’t put it past Celestia to have emotionally detached herself from Twilight years ago, long before she was sent to Ponyville.”

Rarity looked about to faint and Pinkie settle down, sitting back into her chair, correctly. “Why do you think that, Discord? I mean, she’s been nice to all of us, and extra-super nice to Twilight.”

He held up a talon. “How much of that extra attention might be real affection, or just faked to help Twilight along, into becoming a princess and eager to take on some of Luna’s, and her own, duties? Who knows how much she truly cares about anypony, other than Luna?”

Rarity spoke up this time, “I… I never thought of it that way. It does make sense, on some level.”

“Anyway, let's mark that spell’s book and page down, and continue looking. Maybe we'll find something that doesn't require a conduit.” Discord grabbed a roll of parchment and noted the book’s name and page number, before passing the book back to Pinkie.

“I know! Maybe we'll even find a ‘Find our lost princesses, pretty please with a cupcake on top’ spell!” She took the book and plopped back down in her chair. Rarity returned to her book at a far more sedate pace, her mind contemplating what Discord had just told them.