The Nightmare in the Moon

by Omega Dracomancer

Chapter 18

I opened my eyes. The clock said 8:00. 'Only five hours? Bummer.'

I groaned. I wasn't getting back to sleep, unfortunately. I guess that's fine.

I yawned, still tired. I looked around. First one up. I hate it when this happens.

The mares downstairs were sprawled out in random positions, and Twilight was the only one who's blanket was completely on her anymore.

I stretched myself out, and decided to wait until somepony else got up before doing anything.

I got comfy again and relaxed.

'Last night was crazy, man. Should do it again sometime.'

'They're all asleep. Now would be a perfect time to take their essences.'

'Nah.'

'What?'

'Nah, it'll be fine.'

'What are you saying?'

'We'll get it later.'

'Right now would be perfect.' she said, getting angry.

'Hey... You know everything's gonna turn out alright.'

Twilight started to stir. She gave me a brief look, and I waved at her.

"Good morning."

"Hey."

'You... idiot. They're waking up.'

'We wouldn't have had enough time anyways. Just a little longer.'

'I don't understand. What are we waiting for?'

'We can always call another slumber party together. We need to get the other ingredients, first. Before we do anything, though, I need to heal.'

'I've been very patient, child. I've waited long this already, but I am beginning to grow tired of it. Don't push your luck.'

I stopped talking to her, and thought to myself. 'She's losing patience. I don't know how much longer I can keep her calm. I'm losing time.'

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I would have to follow her commands. I needed to think of something before I was forced to do something I didn't want.

I lightly shook my head. Not now. Ten days. I have ten days.

I got up and walked to the stairs. No noises. Must still be sleeping.

I laid back down. 'Fun.'

Twilight was up already, but I didn't really wanna hang out right now. Staying up until three was stupid. I was so tired.

I yawned again. 'Fun... tacular.'

I stared at the ceiling for a while. Have you ever stared at your ceiling? Like really stared at it? Like you're gonna give it the business. And your walls. Some shifty guys, right there...

Have you ever to stopped to think about how many walls you come in contact with per day? Probably more than three.

I got lost in thought for a while. Right up until I saw a cute, pink face looking right at me.

"Pinkie!"

"That's me!"

"Oh. I thought I was Pinkie."

"Then can I be Phil?"

"No, I'm Phil."

"But I thought you were Pinkie."

"I don't think everything's adding up here."

I stood up and hugged her. 'Now it's funtacular!'

"I'm tired."

"We're all tired."

"Yeah well... I'm Phil."

"I thought I was Phil."

"Who am I? What is me?"

"Aren't you Phil?"

"Probably."

"I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry."

"No, I'm always Phil."

"I thought you were Pinkie."

"Maybe we're both Pinkie."

"No wait, I'm Phil."

"No, you're Pinkie."

"Then you must be Rainbow Dash."

"What are you two talking about? I'm Rainbow Dash."

"No, you're Pinkie."

"No I'm not. She's Pinkie."

"No, that's Phil."

"You're Phil!"

"Stop it!"

"What kind of a name is that?"

"My name is Rainbow Dash!"

"Then who is she?"

"I'm Phil."

"He's Phil!"

"So I'm Pinkie?"

"Yes. Yes you are."

"So am I Rainbow Dash?"

She stared at me with a stoic expression.

"So, who's hungry?" she said, trying to change the subject.

"I am!"

"No, you're Pinkie."

"Wait... Aren't I Phil?"

Rainbow let out an angry whine, and we both started laughing at her.

"Lets have pancakes!" said Pinkie.

"Yeah! Nothing like the smell of pancakes in the morning. Smells like victory."

"C'mon, lets go make some pancakes." she said, pulling me into the kitchen.

"I'm not leaving you two alone." said Twilight, walking in after us.

"Aw, you're no fun. You know, making pancakes can get pretty messy. If some of it got on me, I wouldn't complain if somepony licked it off."

"Out!" Twilight shouted, lifting me up and throwing me through the door.

I laughed, then stood up, quietly singing, "Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes, pancakes." I froze in realization.

"Is something wrong?"

"Pancakes... are cakes... made in a pan! Why haven't I put that together before? And cupcakes are cakes in cups! Wait, I already knew that."

I went back to my quiet singing, happily trotting around the room.

"Ok..."

Twilight came out with a small tray of pancakes, syrup, and butter, then went back into the kitchen.

I grabbed one and ate it with my hooves like the animal I was. Ponies grabbing! Cannot compute!

Pancakes are awesome.

She came out a few more times. Pinkie came out with her, and walked over by me.

"She made me clean myself off."

I wrapped my arm around her. "Don't worry. We'll find something even tastier."

"Like syrup?"

"Oh, not just syrup. Chocolate sauce and whipped cream and..."

Twilight was glaring at us.

"Anyways, I'm getting some more." I said.

This time, I got a plate and put lots of pancakes and syrup on it.

I put it on a table and stared at it, awed by the majestic presence of it.

I smiled, then dug my face into it.

"Go man, go!"

Just minutes later, the plate was empty. Did I say minutes? It took less than one.

"Now that's some good stuff."

"You're all covered in syrup. Here, let me..."

"No!"

We both looked at Twilight. Pinkie's tongue was half out of her mouth.

"No licking."

"At least not around us."

"You're not helping, Rainbow."

"Yeah, keep that stuff to yourselves."

Twilight looked at him and was about to say something, but stopped herself, and took a deep breath. "Just not right now."

"Alright. I'll be back."

I went to wash my face off.

"Twilight's acting weird." Pinkie said to me when I came back.

"Yeah. Lets tone it down for now."

"Good idea."

"So everypony, good morning!" I said cheerfully.

"How was breakfast?"

"It was great."

"Yeah, thanks Pinkie."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Hey, I gotta get going." said Lightning.

"Yeah. Ah gotta get back home, too."

"Alright. See ya later."

Everypony started to leave, until just Twilight and us two were here.

"I need to talk to you two. Look, I think it's great that you two are together and all, but I just don't think that you shouldn't be doing these kinds of things."

"What kinds of things?" asked Pinkie.

"Well... you know."

"What do I know?"

"Uh... Pinkie, is this necessary?" I asked.

"If she won't say it, then I want to."

"Pinkie..."

"Alright, I'll say it. You don't want us to have sex?"

Even I was surprised when I heard her say that.

"No, no I don't."

"Why not?"

"What if something happens?"

"Like what?"

"Well, what if you get pregnant?"

Oh... We're going here already.

"Would that really be a bad thing?" she replied, "I love kids!"

"Well... No, I... Pinkie, don't try to make light of it. This is serious!"

"I know it's serious."

"It doesn't really seem that way."

"What about you?" she asked me.

"Uh..."

"He'll be fine. Won't you?"

"I..."

"I bet you're great with kids!"

"I'm... ok with kids. Sometimes they really push my buttons, though."

"Huh?"

"My brother has a few kids, and whenever they come over..."

"You have a brother?!"

"Yeah..."

"Do you have a sister, too? How many?"

"I have two sisters. And two brothers."

"That's more than I have! Wait, what was that about your brother having kids?"

"Yeah. He's got four boys. And my sister has a little girl. I used to like kids, but one of my brother's kids has been getting on my nerves recently." 'Were we all annoying as children?'

"Oh, that doesn't mean anything. Is your family nice? What are their names?"

"Uh, Pinkie? Twilight's trying to scold us."

"Oh, sorry Twilight!"

Twilight cleared her throat. "As I was saying..."

"What exactly are you saying?" asked Pinkie.

Twilight gave her a somewhat annoyed look. "Phil, how old are you?"

"17."

"What? I thought you were 16! Why didn't you tell me that you had a birthday?!"

"Well it... It was when I was in that prison."

"Now I have to make a cake and..."

"Twilight still has something important to say."

"You're only 17. Isn't that a little young for this?"

"I'm only 23. Does that make me young, too?"

"He's not the only one I'm talking to, Pinkie. You just said that you thought he was 16. That's even worse!"

"Well it's not like it would be any different if I were 22, would it?"

"So what else is bugging you, Twilight?" I said, avoiding this grey area of thought.

"Even if you look like this now, you're still a human. Isn't this weird to you?"

"Not really."

"At all?"

"No, it's fine to me. Do you have a problem with it?"

"Well, it's just... weird."

"If it involves Pinkie, it's bound to be weird. Same goes for me, really. So... Weird squared."

"Weird cubed."

"Yeah, I count as two."

"I thought I counted as two."

"Maybe we both count as two. Anyways Twilight, if you still have a problem with all this, maybe you should ask Princess Celestia about it."

"That might be a good idea. The only problem is, I don't think I wanna leave you two alone just yet."

"Alright, we'll come with you, then."

"But Phil..."

"We got all day to be alone. I don't think this'll make a difference."

"You never know."

"Good point. Are you coming?"

She sighed.

"Something wrong?"

"Well... I guess not."

I smiled. "C'mon, this won't take long."

"Alright."

We followed Twilight through the town. Nyeh... morning air is chilly.

I understood why she was trying to do this, but it was a bit unavoidable if you ask me. Teenage guy, any woman, alone. Do the math, win yourself a ham sandwich.

'Mmm... ham... Meat. I wonder what pony tastes like... Oooh, I wonder what Pinkie tastes like. I bet Applejack tastes like apples. Maybe Big Mac does. What? Do the Princesses taste any different than a regular mare? I'll have to do some tests. I'll have to ask Pinkie, first. Sure she'd... wanna come with.'

I bumped into Pinkie while I was lost in thought. We had stopped.

'Huh? What'd I miss?'

A few other ponies were staring at a somewhat familiar looking gryphon. She was harassing a fruit vendor.

"Hey, leave him alone!" Twilight said with a sternness in her voice.

She turned to us. "I know you. You're Rainbow's friends."

"Hello, Gilda!" said Pinkie, a smile across her face."

"You're the one I remember the most."

"Aww, I missed you, too."

"What? I didn't miss you!"

I took a step towards her. 'Gryphon: check.' My mind started wandering again. 'I wonder what she tastes like. Maybe chicken. I hate chicken. Fried chicken. And grilled, now that I think about it. I had a grilled chicken shit in a wrap from Mcdonalds once and just about threw it up. Teriyaki, though. That's some good stuff.'

Pinkie tapped me, and I focused again. "Hey, what's up?"

"Huh?"

"Name's Phil. What about you?"

"Uh... Gilda. Who the heck are you?"

"Again, Phil."

"No, I mean, why should I care?"

"Well, you're bothering one of my friends, and I'd like you to stop."

"Oh, is that all?"

"Well, yeah. Pretty much. Bother somepony else."

"Like you?"

"Like you'd be able to bother me."

"I can, and I will." She looked at my arm. "What happened to you?"

"I survived a cave-in. The floor collapsed under me, and I got all beat up."

"Whoa... That's kinda cool. If you weren't hanging around these two, I'd think that you were pretty cool."

"Yeah, yeah..." I stared at her for a few moments. "I forgot what I was doing. Twilight, what am I doing?"

"I... don't really know."

I turned to her and ignored the gryphon. "Then what was I doing before this?"

"We were going to my house."

"Oh yeah. Why am I talking to you?" I asked Gilda.

"What? You're the one who..."

"Hey, so what're ya doing in Ponyville? Visiting somepony?"

"I'm trying to find Rainbow Dash. I'm sure you've heard of her, considering you're hanging around these two losers."

"Hey!"

"Well, you're not doing a very good job. I don't know if that's Rainbow." I leaned to the side and looked at the vendor, then slipped on the snow and fell over. "In fact, I'm almost positive it's not her. Almost."

"I... I'm not... Could you get her out of here, please?"

I looked at her. "Don't worry, she'll show up."

She rolled her eyes. "Lame." She took off.

"Well that was fun."

"It's always great seeing an old friend." said Pinkie.

"Yeah! Lets go to that place that we talked about. Sorry about that, man."

"I'm just happy she's gone."

"Well, lets go, I guess."

'How exactly do you plan on getting her talons?'

'Long range, lets do this.'

I stared at the rapidly fading gryphon as I used a spell. I managed to cut off the nails without her notice, and darted them through the air towards a nice hiding place near Sugarcube Corner. Levitating is easy, cutting is not. I felt a little tired.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothin'. Just eating."

"What?"

"I think he said eating."

"I heard what he said. You're not eating."

"No, you're not eating!" I said to her, completely serious.

"He has a point. You aren't eating."

"You're not eating either!"

"Yes I am."

"I was talking to... Are you going to do this all day?"

"Maybe." I let out a small laugh. "Onwards!"

'That was easier than I thought it would be.'

'Yeah.'

'Now we need the scales of a dragon.'

'That... probably won't be easy. Ten or so days and I can take the cast off, then it'll be maybe a week until I'm back to 100%.'

'Then you will finish your job.'

'I'll do what I do.'

We went to Twilight's house. While she wrote her letter, Pinkie and I snuggled against each other.

Twilight started talking to us again. "You two are really close to each other."

"Yeah."

"You know, I'm happy for you. I really am."

"Wait, Phil and Pinkie Pie are... together?" asked Spike.

"That's right."

He looked at us, then rubbed his eyes. "Well, I think that's enough waking up for today. Goodnight, everypony."

"Night!" I said cheerfully.

"No, you have to stay here. Princess Celestia could send us a letter."

"Alright, fine."

"What do we do now, Twilight?" asked Pinkie.

"Well, that's not really for her to decide, is it, Pinkie?"

"Of course not, but we should still listen to her."

"So no matter what I say, you're going to ignore me?"

"Pretty much."

Spike burped out an emerald flame, and a letter appeared from it. Twilight opened it up, and read it aloud to us. It was mostly about true love and stuff like that. Boring stuff that I was probably gonna ignore anyways. Spike left the room to go back to sleep or something.

In the end, I think she said that she didn't have a problem with it, and neither should Twilight.

Twilight read it over again, and said, "I suppose that if this is what the Princess says, then I should be ok with it. I should, but I don't know if I am."

"It's alright, Twilight. You don't need to worry about anything."

"Yeah, everything's the same as before, isn't it?"

"Not really." She let out a sigh. "I just want to say that I don't think it's..."

"You just don't like the idea of one of your friends having this kind of a relationship. It's too sudden, right?"

"I... That's pretty accurate."

"I'm good at reading ponies." Totally a guess. Educated guess. Hypothesis. Hyponypothesis. Course, it helps that I'm in a cartoon world.

"Is that what's been bothering you?"

"Don't worry about anything, Twilight. Nothing's gonna happen. I promise."

"Aw, really?"

"Pinkie, you're acting all silly. I'm not saying there won't be any of this..." I started nibbling on her ear.

"That tickles."

"'Cause I like doing that. But I am gonna promise that nothing is gonna happen."

Pinkie actually seemed pretty bummed out when I said that, but she gave Twilight a nod in agreeance. "You don't have a problem with kissing, do you?"

"Of course not. Just try to tone it down a little."

"No problem."

"Thank you. I'm glad we've come to an agreement."

"Yeah. C'mon, Pinks. Lets get out of here."

"I'm coming."

Author's Note:

Sorry this hasn't updated in like two years. I still think about it from time to time but until I finish what I'm working on I don't think I can do this. This story needs to be edited from the ground up.

If you've stuck around for these 18 chapters, then thanks for reading, but unfortunately, there won't be more for a long time to come.

Comments

[John Johny Johnson]

Sorry about your mother :'(

And for the record I loved this chapter. :)

[TheOverPoweredOne]

Hey, we all have times when we need someone to talk to. You're lucky enough to have readers who enjoy your stories and feel bad when sonething horrible happens to you. Keep yourself occupied, listen to music, write stories, or work out. Whatever helps you work through your loss. A loss in the family hurts and is never fully repaired. But you can minimize how much it affects you afterwards.

Peace out,
THEOVERPOWEREDONE

[TheOverPoweredOne]

3720136 lol

[NONEshallTell]

all I can say is
DAMN
the closest that I can relate is not really good. so what I am trying to say is she is either in a better place and not suffering any more or she has taken the place of your guardian angel.

if you are atheist or something than I am saddened by your loss
times by twenty.

P.S. I have not cried a tear in a LONG time and just noticed one fall. praying for you, that's what a Christian does. may you find hope in a dark time

[Sean66067]

Hey man I can't say I know what's going on because of your mother (I lost my dad) but try to live in a way she would be proud of do what you love and every now and then do somthing in here memory.

[BranflakesinWater]

That last line tho

[Noal]

I know how you feel I lost my mother when I was 14 that was 8 years ago. just hang in there. Awesome chapter btw.

[UnbelievablyDeadCultist]

3521570 Use this to help you write better. It helped me

[Omega Dracomancer]

8037791
Nah that's not it. The story needs an entire new beginning and that sort of thing. As far as I can remember, at least. It's been a while since I've seen this story. My grammar is great nowadays. Grammar is no longer an issue. It's just such a big task and I just haven't wanted to go through the story to take care of it. I've been involved with another story so it's still going to be a very long time before I look into this story again.

[carrs88]

is this history dead??

[Omega Dracomancer]

10184146
Sadly I have no plans on continuing this within the forseeable future.

[Omega Dracomancer]

11768695
Haha a mod called me a moron I totally forgot about that. Thanks for the reminder my man. bigmemes99.funnyjunk.com/comments/+_31c38a04a929f685c21df5bda0b2428a.jpg