The Nightmare in the Moon

by Omega Dracomancer

First published 18th of November, 2013

A human somehow finds himself in Equestria. At the same time, Nightmare Moon returns, looking for revenge. Their fates are intertwined, yet nopony can tell this. Can she overcome the Elements of Harmony, or will she be defeated once and for all?

I awaken in the magical land of Equestria to find myself face to face with Nightmare Moon, weakened, but not gone. She says that she is slowly gaining power, and nothing can stop her once she has returned completely. Nothing but a human, the worst thing to ever happen to Equestria.

This is an older story with many flaws, but a semi-coherent plot. I won't be getting back to it anytime soon, .

The Nightmare herself

"Man, Pinkie is so cute." I said, fixed on the episode I was watching.

The episode ended, then I started the next. "That one was better than finding a jug of milk in Canada." I said, "Or was it? Huh..."

I watched another episode, then looked outside. "Late." I got ready for bed, then fell asleep.

When I woke up it was much colder. I tried to find my blanket, but it seemed to have disappeared. I got up to look for another, then realized that I wasn't in my room anymore.

Shocking, really. Not like it was obvious or anything, no... Couldn't have been. Can't be a difference between a bed and the ground, can there? 'I'm an idiot.'

I looked around. I was in the middle of a dark forest. "I don't understand. Am I dreaming?" I looked around again. "Probably."

I started walking. 'This is a weird dream. So... I'm in control this time. When was the last time this happened? Oh well. Screw this, I'm out.'

I tried to wake myself, but it didn't work. Odd, because it usually does.

I reached an edge of the forest, and started seeing a castle, or what was left of a castle.

"Man, that's cool." I said.

There was a rope bridge over a cliff going to the castle. "This... kinda looks familiar."

I looked at the bridge. No way my fat ass was going over it. I looked back at the castle. Something about it started to bug me.

"Hey, wait a minute... Is that... Luna's castle?" I asked myself.

I looked at the bridge again. "I don't care whose castle it is, it isn't worth dying over. The hell is goin' on here? I've never had this kinda dream before. Is this..."

'Oh man, what if this was real? That would be awesome. Awesome to the max.'

"But... How? Why? Why do I even care? Now that... That is the real question. Guess there's nothing else to do but find somepony for help. That'd probably be best. Then again, it's the middle of the night. Some weird lookin' freak trudgin' out of the woods in the middle of the night. Yeah, that's a good way to make friends. Hey kids, ya wanna see a dead body?!"

I laughed at myself, then looked over the bridge again, half expecting something to be different. Nope.

"Maybe... Maybe I could cross it." I said.

I stepped on it. It creaked a little, but didn't break. I jumped a few times. "Better than it looks." I said.

I shrugged and walked across without a single rope snapping or board breaking. Lucky me.

I went in the castle. "Wow... This is... well it's unexpected is what it is."

"Who's there?" I heard. It was a girl's voice.

'Who the hell is that?' "Uh... Hi?"

"Who's there?" she asked again, angrier this time. I couldn't follow the voice to a source.

"I'm not here to cause trouble." I said, "Who are you?"

"I asked you first, now tell me."

"My name's Phil. Just Phil, I'm not important. I ain't gonna hurt ya."

"Hurt me? As if you could manage." she said with an obvious smugness.

I felt myself being lifted into the air. She pinned me against a wall, then she walked out from behind a statue.

"N-Nightmare Moon?!" I said in disbelief.

"So you know about me, child?" she asked, advancing on me.

"But... the Elements of Harmony! You're supposed to be..."

She laughed. "Destroyed? I'll never be destroyed, not even by those wretched Elements."

I noticed that her armor was tattered and broken, and she seemed to be exhausted. Regardless, she could still hold me in the air without any sign of struggle.

"But... What happened to Princess Luna?" I asked.

"Nothing, yet."

'Is she gonna spill her plan like every villain ever?'

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"Well, I don't really know. I just wanted to stay here until tomorrow. I wasn't gonna go to Ponyville at this hour. I'd probably terrify them all."

"Ponyville?"

"Yeah..."

"Maybe you'll be of some use to me after all." she said.

"What makes you think I'll help you?"

Another evil laugh. "That's the best part." she said, casting a spell on me.

"Oh man, where am I?" I asked, rubbing my head. I suddenly realized where I left off. "Luna's castle!"

It was broad daylight outside. "Wait, I crossed the bridge, then..." I couldn't remember. "Oh well, ain't important."

I stood up. Nothing out of the ordinary here. Maybe that I was in Equestria. That might be a little out of the ordinary. Just a little.

I went back to the bridge and crossed over it again. As soon as I stepped on the ground again, I felt a small wave of exhaustion, then the bridge collapsed behind me.

"Dayum, that was close." I said, "Not goin' back there anytime soon."

I walked through the forest. It was actually pretty easy to navigate during the day.

I exited the forest near Fluttershy's house. The animals that were playing around scurried away from me.

Fluttershy took one look at me, squeaked and ran inside, her animals following after her. She looked out the window at me, shaking.

I smiled at her. "Hello."

She opened the door a little and said, "Y-You can talk?"

"Yep." I replied, "I'm sorry for asking, but can I have some food? Like an apple or something."

The door closed, then a few seconds later she opened it back up with an apple in her hoof. She slowly walked over to me, and almost freaked out again when I took it from her.

"I'm not that scary, am I?" I asked her.

"Uh..."

"Am I?" I asked the apple, more seriously than one would typically talk to an apple.

"No, you're not scary." I said in a high-pitched voice, moving the apple around.

"See? The apple isn't afraid of me." I said, taking a bite.

She let out a nervous giggle.

"I'm Phil, what's your name?"

"F-F-Fluttersh-shy." she said.

"Thanks for the apple, Fluttershy."

"What are you?" she asked.

"I'm a human." I said.

"A human?" she said, "I've never heard of a human before."

She seemed curious about me, but I needed to get to Twilight.

"Hey, I'm in a bit of a jam at the moment." I said, "I got a big problem that I can't take care of myself. I was wondering if you know anypony who could help me. You seem busy, it would be rude to ask you."

"Well, my friend, Twilight Sparkle, might be able to help you. I can take you to her if you want."

"Thank you, but that won't be necessary. Could you just tell me where she is?"

"Oh, ok."

She told me where Twilight's house was. I thanked her, then headed there, walking behind houses. Not really in public, but not really hidden either. I'm sure a few ponies saw me, but they pretty much acted like I wasn't there.

I knocked on her door, and Spike answered.

"Uh..." He backed away.

"Hello." I said, "Fluttershy told me that a Twilight Sparkle lived here. I need her help."

"Oh." He sounded kinda disappointed. "Twilight! Something's at the door for you!"

"Be there in a second!"

"So who are you supposed to be anyways?" he asked.

"Just call me Phil." I said, "You?"

"Spike."

"Alrighty then."

Twilight walked to the door. "Who are you?" she asked.

"Phil. Just Phil. You must be Twilight."

"That's right. Sorry if I'm being rude, but what are you?"

"I'm a human."

"A human? Where have I heard that word before?"

"I have a problem, and your friend Fluttershy told me that you could help." I said.

"You met Fluttershy?"

"Yep. Can we talk?"

"Come on in." she said, standing aside.

It was a little cluttered inside, but for the most part it was clean.

"I remember now!" she said, "Lyra told me about humans! But she said that there weren't any humans in Equestria."

"Yeah, that's kinda the problem." I said, "I'm not supposed to be here. I'm supposed to be back at my house, playing video games. I mean, the biggest question I have at this point is how I got here."

"I'm also curious about that. My friend said that humans don't even live in Equestria, or even on this world. It would take an incredible amount of magic power to bring one here. It's something that only the princesses would be capable of."

"Princesses?"

"Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. They rule Equestria. Speaking of, I should tell them that a human has come to Equestria. Spike!"

"Yeah, yeah. I got it." he said.

"So... What exactly do you need help with?" she asked.

"Just figuring out how I got here, and why, is really all I want at the moment."

"What about getting back home?"

"Nah, I'll stay in Equestria for a while." I said, "What harm could it do?"

"I suppose."

I felt another wave of exhaustion, then a book fell from a shelf near Twilight. She jumped a little, then sighed and put it back on the shelf.

"Are you ok?" she asked me.

I put my hand on my head. "Just tired. And my head kinda hurts. C... can I have some water?"

She nodded, then got a chair with her magic. "Go ahead and rest."

She walked into her kitchen. Another wave of exhaustion, then the sound of broken glass, and a yelp of shock.

"You... ok..." I asked, a little woozy.

I didn't hear what she said.

'So tired...'

Author's Notes:

You know, because a human in Equestria story is the most original thing ever.
Well, that was chapter one. Thanks for reading. If you liked it, leave a review. If you didn't like it, leave a review.

Making friends

I heard a faint voice. 'That was pathetic. I shouldn't be this weak.'

"Man, these headaches have to stop." I said, holding my hand over my head.

I sat up. I had been moved to a bed. It was unmistakably Twilight's. "Ah man, what happened last night?" I asked.

"He's awake." I heard her say, "Stay here, I'll get him." She came up the stairs. "Are you ok?"

"Same as I was earlier, I guess. Head still hurts."

"I wouldn't doubt it. You hit it on the ground." she said.

"What about you? I heard a glass break." I said.

"That was nothing. I'm fine. You were talking in your sleep. It was actually kinda worrisome."

"What'd I say?"

"You said that Nightmare Moon is back."

"That's... bad? Right? Am I right?"

"Yeah, that's really bad. I told the Princess about it and she said that she wanted to talk to you right away.

"Probably for the best." I said. I got off the bed and stretched a little. "How long was I out?"

"Not long. Only an hour. Come downstairs, there's some ponies you should meet."

I followed her down. Her friends were down there.

"Whoa... I've never seen a real human before!" said Pinkie.

"So this is the guy?" asked Rainbow.

"I'm... the guy." I said, "Name's Phil. Who are you all?"

They introduced themselves.

"Alright. Friends within seconds. This is pretty cool. So why are you all here? I interrupt some sort of... thing?" I asked.

"Princess Celestia told me to bring them with us. I figured that you should meet them before we left. We were sent tickets for the train. We should actually leave. We're departing soon."

"That's awesome. I've never been on a train before." I said, "Lets get goin'."

We left for the station. Ponies around town went out of their way to avoid us. Likely because of me.

"Oh, no! I almost forgot something!" said Pinkie. She jumped in front of us. "I haven't welcomed you to Ponyville yet!"

"Uhh... That won't be necessary." I said, "I already feel welcome."

"Nonsense!" she said.

"Alright, sounds fun."

"Great!" said Pinkie, "Stay here, I'll be right back."

She ran off. As soon as she turned a corner, she came back with a wagon following her. Welcome wagon. Funny.

She started singing a song and jumping around. To be honest, I wasn't really paying attention. I just stood there smiling like an idiot. There was a cannon and confetti... and probably something else.

"Aw, I did it backwards." she said, "Oh well."

"Alright. Thanks Pinkie! I feel welcomed-er." I said.

"Well, now that that's over, lets go." said Twilight.

The ponies at the station didn't really seem to like me. A pony was staring at us from behind a newspaper. We got aboard the train.

Twilight took me to a room in the train and said, "It'll take us a day to get there, so you can sleep here when it's time."

"This train is pretty nice." I said.

They made final calls for boarding. A few minutes later, we started moving.

"I'm hungry, what's for breakfast?" I asked.

"It's 3:00." said Twilight.

"So, what? No breakfast?"

"I'll get you some food." said Pinkie, "Be right back!"

It only took her a few seconds to come back with an entire dessert cart. "I didn't know what to get, so I got everything."

"Oh god... It's beautiful." I said, looking at the towering pile of food. We all got something from it. "Thanks, Pinkie."

"No problem!"

"Man, best day of my life, right here." I said, "And there's food, so that pretty much makes it unsurpassable."

"Why is it the best day of your life?" asked Pinkie.

"Free food." I said, "I mean, look at this thing. It's food, it's free, it's free food. If that doesn't make it the best day ever, I don't know what will."

I grabbed some more food. It tasted awesome.

"Hey, save some for us, man." said Rainbow.

"What are you..." I looked at the almost empty plate. "Ok then... I ate more than I usually do."

"Between you and Pinkie, the rest of us barely got anything."

I looked at Pinkie, then shrugged. "Sorry 'bout that."

"Well, don't worry about it."

"Done and done. Hey, could you tell me more about this place? You know, stuff like that Nightmare Moon thing. And that Princess Celestia pony... and pretty much this world in general. I've never been here before, so I don't know."

Of course, I already knew this stuff. I just asked that so she could kill time.

Twilight told me what I needed to know, with the other ponies chiming in every so often. They talked a little in-depth about themselves and their town, along with Canterlot, the Everfree, and gave me some basic knowledge of Equestria. They also talked about the princesses and Nightmare Moon, telling about how they defeated her and about the Elements.

'To defeat the ponies, you defeat the Elements of Harmony.' I thought, bored, 'Then the challenge lies in the royalty, and defeating Discord will be the biggest problem, provided he decides to help them. There's at least a 90% chance that he will. They're friends.'

I kinda faded in and out during storytime. I saw the pony who was looking at us before. He was at the other end of the car, still staring.

'Whatever.'

"So is there anything else you would like to know?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'm curious about Princess Luna. If this Nightmare Moon thing is popping up like this, then would she be safe?"

"I sure hope so." she said with a sad voice, "She hasn't really had much time to... adjust to her new life."

"I'm sure she'll be fine." I said, "Thanks for all the information. If I'm gonna stay here for a long time, that'll help."

"You're welcome."

I stretched myself out a little. "I'm gonna check out the train. I guess I'll see you all in a bit."

"Right."

I walked back to the caboose, then out the door to the little balcony-thing.

"Man, trains are sweet. I've never gone this fast before." I said to myself, "And these ponies make this even better. I am so glad I became their friends instead of their enemies. That would've sucked."

I walked back inside, then headed towards the front of the train. The staring pony shot a glance at me as I passed by him, but continued looking down the hall.

"Well, somepony's got some post traumatic stress disorder." I said.

The rest of the train wasn't very interesting. All except for the lunch car. Unfortunately, I was already full so I didn't really care.

I went back, looking for entertainment. 'Even surrounded by these awesome ponies I'm bored. I suck. Oh well.'

There he is again, staring down the hall. What is he looking at?

He didn't see me come in. I followed his gaze to Fluttershy, who was resting on a seat a little away from the others.

"Hey buddy, how ya doin'?" I asked him.

He looked at me, then said, "Get away from me. I don't want anything to do with you."

"Harsh. Whatcha lookin' at?"

"I said get away from me."

"Alright. Sorry for botherin' ya."

I went over to Fluttershy and sat next to her. "I have a question for you." I said.

"Oh, alright."

"What do you think about all this? Going to see the Princesses and such."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think it'll be fine."

"Alright, cool." I said.

I reached into my pockets, hoping to find my ipod. Nope. 'Quite unfortunate. Quite unfortunate indeed. My music could come in handy about now. I hope I don't get too bored.'

"Hey, you know that guy over there?" I asked her.

"Yes I do. His name is Lightning Dasher. He's very nice."

"Lightning Dasher's here?" asked Rainbow, "He owes me ten bits, where is that guy?"

I pointed at him. She went over to him and they started talking. I went over to them.

"Yes I did!" she said.

"No you didn't. I didn't see it."

"You saw it didn't ya, Phil?" she asked me.

"Uh... Yes?"

"See? Now pay up!"

"Alright, fine." he said, reaching into his bag. He gave her some money, then she went back to her seat.

"Thanks a lot, pal." he said.

"Oh, shut up." I said, "Hey, could ya do me a favor and quit starin' like that? It's startin' to creep me out."

He didn't say anything.

I sat next to him. "Dude, if you're gonna ask her out, then do it." I said, trying to embarrass him, "She's pretty cool."

"What? I don't like Fluttershy! Get away from me, you jerk!"

"Alright. Sorry, bud." I said, getting up. I laughed a little.

"Wait." he said.

"What up?"

"You're friends with her, right? Can you see if she..."

"I don't get involved in things like that, bud. Although she did tell me that she thought you were nice. By the way, name's Phil."

"Lightning Dasher."

"So are we cool?"

"Yeah, we're cool."

"Alright, cool. Whatcha headed to Canterlot for?"

"Just seeing some friends. What about you?"

"Gotta see the princess."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Something pretty big happened a little while back, and I'm here to help solve it. It's kind of secret, so I can't really explain it."

"Alright."

We talked a little more, then he yawned.

"Man, it's getting late. I better hit the sack."

"Yeah. Hey, you're alright in my book."

"You too."

"See ya later." I said.

I headed back to my bed. The clock said it was 10:30. I went back to where we were staying and tried to get some sleep.

Try as I might, I just couldn't fall asleep. I looked at the clock. 12:00. I sighed. "Oh well, I guess. I'm not really that tired anyways."

I sat up and looked out the window. Full moon.

I heard whispering.

"Who's there?" I asked quietly.

It stopped. I shrugged and walked back out of the room. It was a little eerie without anypony else around.

"I need something to do. If this boredom keeps up I'm gonna go crazy." I said to myself.

I noticed that Twilight's light was still on. I tapped on the door.

"Come in." I opened the door. She was reading a book on her bed.

"Do you have an extra book or something I could borrow?" I asked.

"Well, not to dissuade you from reading or anything, but shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Can't. I tried. Not very hard, but I did."

"Oh. The only books I brought with me are non-fiction."

"I'm bored, I'll read anything."

She gave me one.

"Thanks."

"You should really try to get some sleep. Meeting the princess is a big deal. You wouldn't want to be tired for it."

"Don't worry, I'll be fine."

I went back to my room and started reading. It was mostly about the history of Canterlot.

I didn't get to sleep at all. I was up all night. It started getting bright outside.

As enthralling and interesting as this book was, I finally set it down and looked out the window at Canterlot.

"Dude, that place looks awesome." I said, "Whatever happens, this should be an interesting experience. I just hope that I don't make Celestia or Luna mad. Alright, you can do this."

I got myself some early breakfast, then waited for the others to get up.

"Did you get to sleep?" asked Twilight.

"Nope. Wasn't really sleepy anyways."

She sighed. "At least you don't seem all that tired. Do you do this a lot?"

"I'm out before 11:00 usually." I gave her book back. "Thanks again."

The train entered the station and we all got off. I didn't see Lightning Dasher get off. Maybe he was still sleeping or something.

Two ponies walked over to us. One was a royal guard and the other was a normal mare.

"You must be Phil." she said.

"Yep."

"Well, you're taller than I expected." she said cheerfully, "We're here to bring you to the castle."

I eyed the guard. "Alright, thanks."

"No time to waste. Don't want to keep the Princess waiting."

We started following them. The guard was watching me closely. I expected that to happen, but I still didn't like it.

"Man, this is pretty awesome." I said, "I've never met royalty before. Does it matter much how I act?"

"You should try to act civil while you're in their presence." said Rarity, "It'd be rude otherwise."

"Good thinking." I said.

When we got there, two guards stopped us.

"Princess Celestia has requested to see the human alone." one said.

I looked at my friends. "Guess I'll see ya later."

I followed them in. They brought me straight to Princess Celestia. I bowed to her. She was more majestic in person.

She raised her hoof. "Welcome to Equestria, Phil the human. I am Princess Celestia, the ruler of this kingdom."

"Hello, Your Highness."

She walked over to me. "It's been a very long time since a human has been in Equestria."

"Well, none of us know how that happened."

"I don't know either."

"Hey wait... Wasn't there another princess? Princess Luna?"

"My sister has caught an illness and is resting at the moment. That brings me to my next question. What do you know about Nightmare Moon?" she asked, starting to walk around me.

"Not much. Just stuff your student, Twilight Sparkle, has told me. She's very informative."

"Then do you have an idea of why I was told that you said she was back while you slept?"

"Sorry, I don't know."

She kept walking around me, examining me. "I'm curious about you, Phil. It's actually quite amazing to see you here."

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Do you think I'm dangerous?"

She stopped walking. "Hmm... That's a tough question. You don't seem dangerous, but I really can't tell. Do you think you'll be a danger to my ponies?"

"I don't wanna be." I said, "You ponies are pretty cool. I'd prefer keeping you safe than putting you in danger."

"That's good." she said. She resumed her walking. "I don't remember this very well, but can humans use magic?"

"They aren't suppose to." I said, "I can't."

"Do you have a family back in your world?"

"Yeah. We're a normal family for the most part."

"Do you know why you're here?"

"Nope."

"I want to find out how you're involved in this, Phil. Have you had contact with Nightmare Moon before?"

"No."

"Did you know who she was?"

"No."

"Can you explain why this is happening?"

"No."

"Do you understand any of this?"

"Not really."

She stood in front of me. She had a serious expression on her face. I wasn't out of the woods yet. "Send my student and her friends in." she ordered a guard.

He left, then returned with them. They all bowed to Celestia.

Celestia went over to them and gestured towards me. "Twilight, do you think that he's dangerous?"

'This is an awful lot of suspicion just for me. Just as well, I suppose.' I thought.

"Not at all, Princess." she said.

"Do you trust him?"

"Yes."

"And the rest of you?" she asked.

They all nodded in agreement.

"He's our friend."

I smiled at them. "Thank you. Glad to hear it." I said. 'At least someone trusts me. I don't even trust me.'

Celestia nodded. Her expression changed to a cheerful one and she said, "It looks like you're quite the friendly human. I'm glad to see things turn out like this."

"Wouldn't want it any other way, Princess."

Author's Notes:

Lightning Dasher is an oc from Tristandash. I liked the guy, I liked the oc, and he asked me to add him in.

Well that's the end of this chapter. Remember to rate the chapter, comment the chapter, and subscribe if you want to see chapters similar to this one. See ya.

How are you today, Princess Luna?

We spent a few days in Canterlot. Three nights straight and I haven't gotten any sleep. Oddly enough, it didn't bother me as much as it should. I spent my nights wandering around, sometimes going outside. During the day I was usually in the library, looking for books about Nightmare Moon with Twilight. Either that or I was hanging out with Pinkie, or sometimes Rainbow Dash.

I knew that I was being followed throughout the nights. I didn't see them, but I knew they were there.

I didn't feel tired, but I knew that when I finally fell asleep, you'd have to give Pinkie a megaphone just to wake me.

I checked on Luna once. The guards by her room even let me in, but she was still sleeping.

We all met up with Celestia again. She didn't look all that happy.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"It's my sister. She hasn't woken up yet." she said, "It's been four days."

"Should we wake her?"

"No." I said.

They all looked at me.

"Let her sleep for now." I said, "Luna is Nightmare Moon, and if she's coming back, then Luna must be trying to stop her."

"That's... I didn't think of that." said Celestia.

"I think we can forget about the whole me-being-here thing for now."

She nodded. "Twilight, it's time to equip the Elements of Harmony again."

'No, it's too soon. I don't know if I'm strong enough yet.'

"What could you do with them?" I asked, "I don't know if zapping Luna is gonna help."

"It's better to be safe than sorry."

I nodded. "Alright. Can I come with?"

Celestia stared at me for a few seconds, thinking it over. Finally, she said, "Sorry, but you can't come with."

"Ok. I'll be in the library." I said, "I'll see ya in a few."

Celestia gestured at a guard and he walked over to me.

I shrugged. "Lets go, buddy." We walked off.

"Don't you trust him, Princess?" asked Twilight.

She didn't answer. She headed to the chamber where the Elements were held, with the others following close behind.

I grabbed a random book and started reading it. In no way was it interesting, but I had absolutely nothing to do.

The guard kept staring at me. He definitely wasn't having fun. Wasn't my problem, though.

I started looking around the library from behind my book. I don't know why, it wasn't even that interesting. I closed my eyes.

'Man, I don't feel so good. Ok... just calm down. You need to calm down. What's... I-I can't... I... can't...'

I heard a scream in the distance, then slumped against the bookshelf and fell asleep.

"What was that?!"

"Luna!" said Celestia, "She's in trouble."

They all put on their Elements and ran to Luna's room.

She was sitting upright, sweating and panting. She seemed terrified.

"Luna? Are you ok?" asked Celestia.

"Y-Yeah." she said, "I just... had a nightmare. That's all."

"It's alright Luna, we all know." she said.

"You do? How?"

"A human said it while he slept. He said that she's back."

"A human? There's a human in Equestria!?" she said, almost yelling. She got out of the bed. "Take me to him. Right now."

"Is everything alright?"

"Right now!" she yelled.

Celestia was taken aback. Luna doesn't get this fierce.

"With me, all of you." she said.

They all went to the library at a high pace. Luna barged in and yelled out, "Where is he?!"

The guard got startled and said, "Over here."

Luna ran over to us.

All the ferocity that she had seemed to disappear. She breathed a sigh of relief. "It isn't him." she said.

"What do you mean? He's the only human here." said Celestia.

"It isn't him." she repeated.

"Finally, it's been three days since he's gotten to sleep." said Twilight, "I was beginning to wonder if humans slept at all."

Luna took a look at me. "There was a human in my dream, but he was older than this one. Years older."

"What was your dream about?" asked Celestia.

"A human somehow got to Equestria, and he and Nightmare Moon attacked and defeated us. I thought she was gone. How did she come back?"

"I don't know, but we have the Elements of Harmony ready in case anything happens."

It was freezing. I looked around. Pitch black. 'Well this is just fantastic. The animation budget ran out.'

A blue mist slowly surrounded me. I heard shrill laughing.

"Well someone's having a good time!" I said, "Who's laughing? Can I get some of that?"

She stepped out of the mist. I remembered what happened before.

"Nightmare Moon." I said.

She was still weak, but noticeably stronger. Her armor had been repaired.

"Human." she replied.

"Man, do I have some questions for you."

"You think I'll answer them?"

"Fair enough. Proceed."

"I have some commands for you to follow."

"I'm not gonna help you. Go screw yourself." I said, "Or better yet, go screw me."

She cast a spell on me. I froze up, then felt myself walk towards her, but I wasn't in control of myself.

"You don't understand who you're dealing with." she said, "I'm far more powerful than you. I can force you to carry out my orders if I need to."

"Then why are you telling me anything?"

"Because I know that you're willing to help me."

"Yeah. So what?"

"I'm giving you a choice."

"You can't control me outside of here, can you?" I asked. She made me punch myself in the face.

"Will you help me, or will I have to make you do it?"

I didn't say anything. I just gave her a blank stare. I tried to study her. For the most part, she was unpredictable. I knew what she wanted, but I didn't know how she could get it.

'It's impossible to best these ponies. Why doesn't she realize that? Even with me helping her, we couldn't take them on.'

"Well?" she asked.

"You are Nightmare Moon... and you need my help."

"I..."

"Let me speak for a minute, please. Now, I may help you, or I may not. I've thought about how to take on these ponies. It's just something I gave some thought to a while ago. There are no less than three gigantic problems with that. The least troublesome would be the Elements, because you could just steal them or something, but then you run the risk of having them discovered, but you can't do anything else about them. The biggest would be the freakin' God of Chaos himself, Discord. Between those, you'd have to deal with everything that these ponies could throw at you, and you couldn't beat them before, so how could you beat them now?"

She smiled. "I'm actually glad that you've already figured that out. I've watched this world very carefully since the moment I was defeated. I know these, and you knowing it saves time."

"You don't even have a real body anymore. Your power lies within Luna. You can't achieve anything close to the power you've had before. You're a shadow, a ghost compared to your former self."

I seemed to have hit a weak spot in her plan. She looked away and processed what I said.

"Then I'll take your body." she finally said, "You possess more darkness within you than any pony."

"Or I may reduce you to nothing." I said.

'Damn, I'm never like this. What's with me today? I like it.'

She laughed at me. "Impossible."

"Don't underestimate any of us if you wanna win. Not even me."

"You stupid child. You can't compare to my power."

"I'm trying to help you here. These ponies aren't my boss, but then again, neither are you. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, Nightmare Moon." I said, "Don't misunderstand me, though. I still respect you. We have little more to say to each other. Release me. Keeping me here any longer is pointless."

"So be it." she said.

I felt myself waking up. "Until we meet again, my friend."

"He's back!"

"Are you alright, Phil?"

I sat up. "Yeah. I'm fine. I had a weird dream."

"What was it about?" asked Luna.

"Can't remember, but it was weird. Hello, Princess Luna."

"Just Luna is fine."

I looked around. Celestia was the only other one here.

"You were asleep for three days." said Celestia, "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Perfectly fine. Thanks for waitin' for me. Did I miss anything?"

"Nothing very important."

"Hey... I heard you scream, Luna. What was that about?"

"It was a simple nightmare. Nothing more."

"Oh, ok. Where are those other ponies?" I asked.

"They all went back home."

I nodded, then got of the bed. "What are you all looking at me for? I'm fine."

"Something strange is going on." said Luna.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"As the Princess of the Night, I am able to enter the dreams of anypony I choose. Everypony except you. While you slept, I attempted to speak with you inside your dream, but was unsuccessful. I'm very curious about you. I'd like to try again at a later date, if you'll allow me."

"Hey, you need me to do anything for ya, just ask. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now Luna, lets be friends."

She smiled. "I'd like that."

"Also for now, breakfast. Sleeping for three days means no food for three days, and I am starvin'. Whatcha got for eats around this place?"

Celestia laughed. "Don't worry about that. We have something for you."

"Aren't humans... carnivorous?" asked Luna.

"Um..."

They both stared at me.

"Well, I'm omnivorous. I'll eat anything if it's good. I don't really need meat, though. Don't worry, I'm not a hunter. I won't go around catching prey like a wolf."

"Do you promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." I said.

"You... know Pinkie Pie's special promise?"

"It's a promise from back home." I lied, "If Pinkie does it, it's just a coincidence."

"Alright." she said, "Luna, can you join him?"

"With pleasure, sister."

She brought me to the kitchen. This place was huge.

"You sure you got enough?" I asked.

"It's the largest in Canterlot, fit for royalty. I'll have our chefs prepare something for you. What would you like?"

"No idea. I don't eat a lot of the things you ponies eat. Probably."

"What do you usually eat for breakfast?"

"Just a bowl of cereal, maybe some toast. That's pretty much it, actually."

"That's..."

"Pancakes!" I said suddenly, "This isn't even a debate anymore. Pancakes."

"Alright. I'll have them make you some pancakes."

"Booyah." 'I'm not even gonna question why the Princess's chefs are making me pancakes. Never turn down free food.'

She talked to one of them, then pointed at me. He nodded, then got to work. She walked back over to me.

"So... What else does a human eat?" she asked.

"Humans can eat anything. On rare occasions, they even eat inedible things, such as lightbulbs. Now, I don't want you to use me as the norm for all humans. We're way too different from each other. I'm not entirely normal either."

"In what ways are you not normal?"

"I don't really know. Lets change the subject."

"Alright. So if you're not a normal human, then I'll ask about you. What do you like to do for fun?"

"Usually I play video games."

"What are those?"

"Well, they're games that you play on a... thing called a console. Hmm... How can I put this... Uh..."

"Excuse me, but your meal is ready." said the chef.

He gestured to the cart next to him. Luna opened it. A nice stack of then were piled up on a plate and covered with some butter an a lot of syrup. 'Damn, he got those done fast.'

"Those look like the most delicious pancakes I've ever seen." I said.

He smiled. "Enjoy!"

Luna covered them back up and said, "Take them to the table. We can eat there."

We followed him to the table. Luna sat down, and I sat next to her.

They set out plates for us and gave us some utensils. I eyed the container of pancakes.

"Luna, I have to ask. How much emphasis do you put on manners?"

"Please, be dignified." she said, "It would be rude to my chef."

I sighed, then said, "As you wish, madam."

They lifted the lid. Luna got herself some, and I did pretty good in getting myself some. I even cut them before devouring them. it didn't feel right in my mind.

"Well... That's certainly the best breakfast food I've ever eaten." I said. I was still kinda hungry, but I just ignored it.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." said the chef.

"Still wanna know about those games?" I asked Luna.

"Sure."

"Ok then." I gave it some thought, then said, "Imagine a movie where you can completely control the main character. That's kinda what a video game is like. There are thousands of these things. Some are way more fun than others. There are different genres like movies, too. Playing video games fills most of my time up."

"What exactly do you mean that they're like a movie?"

"Well, say that there's a movie you really like. It could be really action packed and have all that cool stuff in it. A video game makes that movie playable, and allows you to go through it in a more in-depth fashion."

"I still don't understand. What do you do in these games?"

"It depends on the game. Like in one game, you start out as a mercenary who fights with a group of eco-terrorists to save the world and in the end they fight this really strong guy with awesome hair. I'm talking exceeding the grading criteria awesome. It's long and white and shiny and it just fits him so much. It is just so awesome."

"Hair?"

"Hey, you've never seen it. And the guy goes insane and tries to become a god, so you gotta take him down." I sighed. "It would be easier to explain with a game with me, but I don't have one. They're really fun."

"Well if you come across one, be sure to tell me, ok?"

"Sure."

"Other than that, I listen to music. All the time. Sometimes while playing video games. I have this little music player that had 2260 songs on it. Most of which I liked. And now I don't have it. Not having my music ticks me off."

"That's a lot of music."

"And I'm in school at the moment, so I... do that."

"You're still in school? How is it? I haven't been a student at a school for a long time."

"I don't do my homework or study, and I pass all my classes with Bs or above, so I guess I'm doing pretty good."

"Impressive." she said.

I gave it some thought. "Huh... I don't do much. Man, I get bored easy."

"Was that it?"

"Just about." I stood up and pushed my chair in.

"What do you want to do now?" she asked.

"Dunno."

She got up as well. "Walk with me."

"Alrighty then."

She led me through the castle a little, then we went outside into the garden.

"So tell me Phil, do you like it here in Equestria?"

"Yes I do. You ponies are really friendly and I've had lots of fun here."

"Do you like it more than your world?"

"Gonna go with yes again."

"Why?"

"I'd rather not say."

"Why not?"

"I don't really wanna talk about it now."

"Tell me."

"With all due respect Luna, it's not your business."

"Alright." She sat over by a tree and patted the ground next to her. I joined her.

She started gazing to the sky. "Do you like my sister?" she asked. The tone of her voice was very relaxed, almost sleepy.

"Yeah."

"Do you like me?"

"Yep."

"What about the others? Do you like them?"

"I like all you ponies." I said.

She leaned against me. "That's good. I'm really glad we're friends."

"Me too."

"Hey... If it isn't too much to ask, may I sleep here?" she asked, "I feel very tired all of the sudden."

"Um... Yeah, sure. Go ahead."

"Thanks."

She snuggled up against me and fell asleep.

'Ok... This is really weird.' I thought, 'Why is she so tired? Maybe this Nightmare Moon thing is taking a lot out of her. I hope she's gonna be ok. I need to find a way to fix this, and fast. Maybe the answer isn't in a book. Maybe I can find it in the world. It could just be friendship, like before. That would be nice. A simple answer to a complicated question. Well, not that complicated.'

I looked at Luna. I hadn't noticed it before, but she looked exhausted. Almost like she ran a marathon. 'Why didn't I see this?'

She was out like a light. She looked really happy, even while she slept.

'Man, she's really cute. This is awesome. She's awesome. They're all awesome. Awesome to the max.'

Not having very much fun

Luna seemed really out of it after she woke up. She could hardly remember the conversation we had. It was like she could fall over at any moment. I stuck with her for a while to make sure she was ok.

"I'm sorry I'm such a problem." she said, "I must not have been well yet."

"Lets get you back to your room so you can sleep." I said, "I can't have my new friend sick all the time."

"Thank you." She wobbled a little and bumped into me. "Sorry."

"Jeez, you don't look so good."

"I'll be fine." she said, "It's just a cold."

"Good." 'She's lyin'. She's really sick. Celestia needs to see her, now.'

I saw the guards outside her door.

"Hey, we need some help over here!" I said.

They took one look at us and quickly rushed over.

"Her sickness is back again. I'll go get Celestia." I said.

"No, stay here." she said weakly, "With me."

The guards looked at each other, then nodded. "I'll go get the Princess." one said.

Luna walked to her bed and crawled on it.

"Ma'am, are you well?" asked her guard.

"I'm fine. I'm completely fine."

Her appearance betrayed her words. She was completely drained.

"Goodnight, Luna." I said.

She didn't respond.

'Damn, this is bad.' I took a deep breath. 'Ok... Ok. Calm down, buddy. Getting worked up over it isn't gonna help you any more than it will her. Luna will be fine. She has to be, she's a main character. Kinda.'

I leaned against the wall. 'What caused this?'

Celestia quietly came into the room and looked over her sister.

"This isn't good." she whispered.

I walked out of the room. Celestia followed me, then said, "What did you two do?"

"Nothing." I said, "Not enough to cause that, at least. We just talked, and then she fell asleep against me."

"Against you?"

"I want to find out why she's so weak all of the sudden. Luna's a strong pony."

"Don't worry about her so much. This has been happening for almost a month now, this on-and-off sickness. They haven't been getting worse, but I've had to take over her duty raising the moon again. It's left me exhausted. She'll be fine. She just needs some time, as you have said."

'Both are weak and exhausted. Jotting that down in the 'probably shouldn't, but will forget anyways' journal.'

"Fantastic. Just... fantastic. Don't you ponies have some kind of magical... something that cures all... things?"

"Not that I am aware of." she said.

"Isn't there something I could do for her? I don't like sittin' around."

"I've tried everything." she said, "The only thing we can do is wait."

I gave it some thought, but couldn't get anywhere. "This sucks."

"I agree."

I took a deep breath. "I'm gonna wait for her. I won't feel right doing anything else."

"You seem very attached to her."

"Hey, Luna's my friend. Besides, she asked me to stay."

"She did?"

"Yeah."

"Strange."

"I know. We just met each other this morning. I'm gonna go back in there."

Celestia followed me back in. I looked at Luna, then leaned against the wall again. Celestia looked between me and Luna.

She started thinking hard about something. A little while later, her eyes opened wide in realization. I looked at her.

"I need to go." she said.

I nodded. After she left, I walked over to Luna and studied her, but didn't see anything that helped.

I sat on a chair, and waited. I looked at the clock. 4:00.

'I haven't eaten in like five hours. Meh, I'll be fine. I'll get something before I go to sleep or something.'

Luna hadn't changed in the slightest. She just laid there and looked cute.

'Why did she sleep on me like that if she had this awesome bed like twenty feet away? This doesn't make any sense. Unless... unless it does. I guess she might... like me. But after just two hours? And me? Me? Wait, she was just delirious from being so exhausted. That makes more sense. I guess I'll find out when she wakes up.'

I sighed. 'This is boring. And to think, if I wasn't here, I'd be playing some Modern Photosynthesis Shit 2 right now. I know which I'd prefer.'

There was a knock on the door, then it opened without waiting for a response. Discord walked in. He was smaller than normal, probably for convenience.

He took a look at Luna, then at me. He didn't seem very happy.

"Well, she's my friend too." he said to me, "You must be the human I've heard about. I must say, it's amazing that you're here. Humans aren't supposed to be in Equestia."

I shrugged. "You must be..."

"You don't have to pretend around me. I know all about the show and you bronies and all that."

"Alrighty then. So what's up?"

"I'm just checking on her. She shouldn't be so sick."

"Alright, cool."

He walked over to me. "You got a big adventure in front of you, kid. You know that, right?"

"Absolutely. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, I suppose."

"This must be so boring for a someone like you."

"Yep."

"Sucks to be you. I'll see you later, kid. I have something I have to do."

"Right."

He left. I thought about what I could do, but didn't get anything. 'I'm bored, case closed.'

I didn't have any trouble falling asleep this time. I didn't get any weird dreams either.

I woke up a few hours later. Or maybe even further away. Didn't really matter.

"Come." I heard.

"Your fuck?" I asked.

"This way."

I got up and followed the voice. Luna wasn't in her bed anymore.

It led me through the castle to a dead end.

"Secret passage?" I asked it, poking an ajar brick. The wall opened up in front of me. "I love being right."

It led into a dark staircase. I didn't see any torches, tinderboxes, lanterns, or oil around, so I said, "Screw this, I'm going back to bed."

I felt somepony push me in, then the wall closed. I backed up to the wall. "Fuck you... and all that you stand for." I said, shaking a little.

'It's too dark. It's way too dark. Holy crap... It's dark. Dark... dark... dark...' I don't know if I mentioned this, but I'm terrified of dark places.

"Proceed."

"Sc-screw you." I said.

"Move!" the voice shouted.

I realized I had no choice and took a few deep breaths. "You can do this, man. You can do this."

I started singing a song to myself to keep my mind off of the darkness. It kinda helped.

I slowly moved down the stairs. Whoever was making me do this was a twisted individual. Almost as twisted as my neck was gonna be if I missed a step.

Eventually I made it to the bottom. I was greeted by none other than Nightmare Moon... again.

"This is... this is getting kinda old." I said.

"Come with me." she said.

"Well, a civil confrontation for once."

"With me." she said.

I walked up to her, then she led me down the hallway.

"Do you know why I've brought you here?"

"Strategical advantage for a future battle? Make a quick getaway in here."

"Celestia is the only one who knows of this place other than myself. It's a way out of the castle. We may talk in peace here."

"And you couldn't come to me in my dream because?"

"You forget your dreams, and I need you to remember this."

"Fair enough."

"From now on, I will join you while you live." she said, "You will serve me while consciously receiving my orders."

"I don't have any problems so for." I said.

"Physically, you won't be able to tell anypony. Not even Luna. I simply won't let you."

"Alright."

"Not even a complaint? You're making this too easy for me, human."

"If I have no choice, then I have no choice. Why fight a battle I can't win, Nightmare? Do you hear me? Why fight a battle you can't win? Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"This isn't a game, you know." she said.

"It is to me. Life is just a game, and you gotta keep playing, even if you're losing. I refuse to lose something I can win, but if I can't, then I'll do my best to help the other players."

"You speak very strangely."

"That's what happens when... Anyways, I have some questions." I said, "Are you the reason that my sleep schedule is all messed up?"

"Yes I am."

"Are you affecting Luna?"

"Partly. She did genuinely have a cold, though. I didn't intend to keep her bedridden. The weaker she is, the weaker I am."

"Will the Princesses be able to find you out on their own?"

"I don't believe that they are able to."

"Are you my friend?"

"We are enemies, human. Do not forget that."

I nodded. "You're using me to gain power, but what exactly is it that does it for you? Despair? Pain? Sorrow?"

"Negative energy." she said.

"Alright. Hey, if you succeed in your struggle against these ponies, will I get anything out of it?"

"I'll reward you if you deserve it."

"And if you fail... Will we be friends then?"

"I will not fail."

"Just answer my question."

"Why do you want to become my friend so badly?"

"Quit avoiding the question and answer me."

"I'll think about it, human. For now, return to where you slept, and remember... I'm always watching."

She disappeared. I felt her enter my mind. It was strange, like a part of myself I couldn't access. I realized that if I was able to get pass her barrier, I could get access to her thoughts and emotions.

I walked back up the stairs in the pitch blackness. For some reason, just knowing that somepony, even her, was with me made me feel so much braver.

The wall opened up. Nopony was outside it, so I quickly headed back to Luna's room.

She was still sleeping. 'Ok, this is getting kinda repetitive.' I thought, 'Man, if something new doesn't happen soon, I'm gonna freak out.'

I sat back in my chair.

'Nightmare, you there?'

'I am.'

'If you really want to beat the ponies, we'll have to work together. If we don't, then you can kiss your goals goodbye.'

'I already know that.'

'We could just go on a killing spree, you know? Take them all out one by one. It'd be easy. We got our first target right here. Just a little jerk to the neck. She won't feel a thing.'

'I may be evil, but I'm not that evil.'

'I'm just kiddin' around.'

'Don't kid like that.'

'Whatever, I'm going to bed.'

I managed to fall asleep again.

"Spike, did you find anything?" asked Twilight.

"No, nothing."

"Keep looking, it has to be here somewhere."

"Do you even know what you're looking for?"

"Of course I... well..."

"I was having a good dream, Twilight. And you just had to wake me for this."

"Hey, I'm trying to help my friend!" she said.

"Sorry." he said, "I just don't think you have any books that can help."

"We already went through the royal Canterlot library. There has to be something here."

"I don't know, Twilight. What do you have that the Princesses don't?"

She sighed. "I... suppose you're right. You can go back to bed. I'm going to keep this up for a while."

"Good luck, Twi." Spike headed back to his bed.

"There has to be something." she said.

Author's Notes:

If you have a question, comment, concern, blood sacrifice, anything, write a review. If you don't, review anyways.
If you want to speak with me, feel free to message me. Or not.

The potion of power

Luna was already up by the time I woke up. She was eating some food on her bed, looking at me.

"Mornin', Luna. Feelin' alright?" I asked.

"I feel great." she said.

"Fantabulous."

"I think this ailment is finally going away."

"Wonderful! Celebrations are in order! Cheese! For everyone!"

"Cheese?"

"Wait, scratch that. Cheese for no one. I guess that's as much a celebration if you don't like cheese, true?"

"I... guess." She laughed. "Why do we scratch the cheese? I like cheese."

"I too enjoy cheese." I eyed her food. "You gonna share that with the class?"

She gave me a plate of pancakes.

"I had one made for you."

"That's awesome. Thanks Luna. Hey, ya remember what happened before ya conked out yesterday?"

"The last thing I recall was you talking about a man's hair. It's been a while since I've had such a strange conversation."

"Ya see your sister yet?"

"No, not yet. I think she left the castle. I couldn't find her."

"Huh... Well, ya wanna go find her or something?"

"Maybe later."

"Alrighty then. Man, this is some good food."

'Still there, Nightmare?' I asked her.

'What do you want?'

'I was just wondering.'

We finished our meals, then I said, "Sure you're alright?"

"I believe so."

"Good, 'cause you acted kinda weird yesterday."

"I was acting weird?"

"Kinda."

"How so?"

"Well, ya slept against me. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm not as comfy as your bed. You were asleep for like four hours or something."

"Oh. I'm... sorry."

"Well, I didn't say I didn't like it."

"What?"

"It's nice havin' a snuggle buddy." I said.

"I can't disagree."

"Well then... Wanna go for another walk?"

"Another?"

"Yeah, we walked around yesterday for a bit."

"Sorry. I can't remember that."

"Don't worry about it, I can't remember what I had for breakfast."

She looked at my plate. "You still have breakfast on your face."

"I always have breakfast on my face." I stood up and held my hand up to her. "How about it?"

"Sounds like fun."

"Lets go."

She grabbed it and stood next to me. "Where are we going?"

"Just for a walk." I said, "We'll hang out for a little."

"Alright. Lead on, then."

We walked out of the room. Luna looked healthy enough, but I wasn't entirely sure yet. Two guards joined us without a word. We aimlessly walked around the castle. Sometimes Luna spoke to me, sometimes I spoke to her.

I started talking to Nightmare while we walked. 'Hey, I gotta ask you something.'

'What?'

'What exactly is negative energy?'

'Negative energy is a special form of energy created with evil thoughts. Ponies have few evil thoughts, so they don't have a lot of negative energy.'

'Evil thoughts? Man, I suggested murdering these ponies last night. No wonder you're using a human.'

'That was an awful idea.'

'Does negative energy boost the power of dark magic?'

'Yes it does.'

'And the Elements... do you think I could, like, overload them with negative energy to make them break or something?'

'The Elements of Harmony are indestructible.'

'You broke them on your own before, remember?'

'Yes, but those weren't... Wait, how did you know that?'

I ignored her question. 'I'm an outside force with a huge amount of negative energy. If I could somehow pour my negative energy into the Elements, do you think I could break them?'

'I don't have a clue. You're thinking too far ahead. We need the Elements first before we can try anything. Idiot.'

"Luna, you still feeling ok?" I asked her.

"I feel fantastic." she said, "Spending time with my friends always makes me feel better."

"Awesome. Awesome to the max."

"Although..."

"Huh?"

"I think it's time I started to resume my duties. I've done very little work since I've been struck with this condition. My sister has done my work for me, but she deserves a rest."

"That sounds like it'll be boring."

"Unfortunately, it will be."

"You'll definitely need some company for that." I said.

"That's kind of you to offer. Thank you."

"Anytime. We should find Celestia first."

"Indeed." She turned to the guards. "Did my sister mention where she is to either of you?"

"No, ma'am."

Luna sighed. "Where is she? It isn't like her to disappear like this."

"She'll show up. Until then, we postpone doing anything official and do something fun."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Dunno. I'm not good with deciding what to do. I don't think we should leave the castle yet, though. You might need to do... something healthy... or something. You understand what I mean, right?"

"That was so infuriating. Each time I felt like I was getting better, I had to spend another day in that bed."

"Yeah, well... Quit being sick. Quit it. This is turning out to be less fun that I thought it would be. Got anything in mind for us to do?"

"Not particularly. We could go back to the library." she said, "If you want. We might find something useful in there."

'Not likely.'

"We could try." I said, "If we don't find anything important, maybe I could learn something else."

We headed over to the library.

'There a book in here that's gonna help us?' I asked Nightmare.

'I have something in mind, but we should take it later.'

'We'll come back tonight, then.'

I skimmed through some books. I don't think either of us really read any of them. Luna seemed to realize that it wouldn't work. Nonetheless, we filled up a nice part of the day with reading. We got a quick lunch about halfway through it.

I didn't get anything worthwhile, although I learned how to thoroughly clean my hair. Yeah, that's useful.

Celestia walked in the room. I stood up and said, "Where were you?"

"Why didn't you tell anypony where you went?" asked Luna.

"Sister, I need to speak to you in private." she said, "Come with me."

Luna looked back to me, then followed her sister out of the room.

'Nightmare.' I said.

'Look for a book called Magical Mysteries. It should be a shelf over, on the top.'

I got the book she wanted. Looked old, but then, so did everything else.

'Hide it on your person. We'll read it when everypony's asleep.'

I put it in my shirt. It stood out less than I thought it would. 'Why's this book so important?'

'There's a potion recipe in there that we can use. It should very useful in dealing with the ponies.'

'Sounds cool. What does it do?'

'You'll see.'

I grabbed another book and looked through it. Boring, as usual. Got pretty late before Luna came back in.

"Sorry about that." said Luna, "It was very important. I couldn't avoid it."

"Whatever. I have a, uh... a serious question. Do you believe that evil can triumph over good?"

"What brought that up?"

"Answer the question."

"Well, if evil can..."

"Yes or no." I said.

"No. Good will not lose against evil."

I smiled and nodded. "Good." I yawned. "Alright, I'm gonna head to bed. If you're the same tomorrow, we'll do whatever the hell you want, alright?"

"Alright."

I put some of the books I got out back on the shelves, then held one in front of Magical Mysteries and said, "Taking this."

"Go ahead."

And back to my room I went. I tossed Magical Mysteries under the bed, then I read the other for an hour.

'Anypony outside?'

'Two guards, like normal.'

'And Luna?'

'Asleep. As well as her sister.'

'Good, lets try this out.' I said.

I grabbed the book and flipped to the potion she mentioned.

"Ultimate potion of power. Significantly increases the power of a unicorn's magic."

'How is this useful?' I asked, 'You're the one with the magic, and you can't even use your own powers anymore.'

'How do you know that?'

'Half the time I guess, then you confirm my theories. You're not perfect at hiding your emotions. That kinda gives it away. So the potion?'

'It says that it works on unicorns, but it works on anything.'

'Even humans?' I asked.

'I'm not entirely sure, but I believe so. We need the ability to channel your energy in our favor if we want to succeed. I'll be able to use spells to their fullest extent. It's really rare to see this potion made correctly, but it should be simple.'

'Beautiful.'

I looked at the recipe. Half of it was ground-up gemstones. Nightmare told me that those would be the easiest to get. I told her that she was insane. The rest were crazy. Essences of magic, love, and happiness. Alicorn blood. Powdered scales of an adult dragon. Death root. Gryphon claws.

I stared at the book. 'I have a few questions!' I said.

'I imagined you would.'

'First of all, alicorn blood? Is this shit serious?!'

'It's completely serious.'

'I know how I could get that stuff, but I seriously don't want to.'

'You know how?'

'Yeah. I'd lure them out into the forest and get them to scratch themselves or something. Easy. It's kinda messed up, but it's easy. And the part about the dragon scale. I don't have a death wish. Not yet, at least.'

'I will aid you with that one. It may prove dangerous, even if we sneak into a cave.'

'How are you going to... Whatever. The gryphon claw one should be kinda easy. Death root, what's that?'

'It's the root of a tree found deep within the Everfree Forest.'

'I could've guessed that. What's so death-ey about it?'

'It's poisonous. Very poisonous.'

'Alright, the essences. What are those, exactly? Are they like potions themselves? Am I going to have to extract them from somepony? Or myself?'

'They're a type of potion. They can be accessed with a spell or a special device from somepony who has a specialty in them.'

'Alright. I have my targets, but I have a question. Does it take them away permanently? Like, if I take the essence of happiness from somepony, they won't be depressed for the rest of their life, will they?'

'No, they'll recover from it, in time.'

'In time?'

'It may take up to a month, but no longer.'

'Good. Alright, we'll take the magic from Twilight, and the happiness from Pinkie. The love... Queen Chrysalis.'

'What?'

'Were you thinking Luna?'

'I was.'

'That might affect you, and that could affect me. We could also take the magic from Celestia, now that I think about it. Wait a minute...'

'What?'

'If I take the magic from Celestia, Cadence, Shining Armor, and Twilight Sparkle, will that increase the power of the potion?'

'I think it would, but getting at it would be incredibly hard.'

'I'll try it. If I deem it impossible, I'll give up.'

I looked at the recipe again.

'Is something the matter?'

'I have other problems. We can't hide these things in here. I think the guards are going through my room.'

'They are.'

'And finding the ingredients. If we disappear for no reason, they'll get suspicious. We can't make excuses for everything. If they find out about this, I'll get taken down before I even start. We can't do this for a while. Can I take the essences without them knowing?'

'Yes, but if they know what you're doing, you'll run into trouble.'

'Ok.'

I started thinking about how I could do this. I really got into it, planning out many steps in advance, realizing my own mistakes, asking Nightmare for advice.

'You're putting out a lot of negative energy right now.'

I ran into a problem. Discord. I couldn't think of a way around him, no matter how hard I thought. I told Nightmare.

'We can't do this until he's gone. He's predictably unpredictable. I can't tell what he could do. He might even be reading my mind right now. He might even know about you already. They all trust him, so they won't turn him back into stone, and I can't trick him into doing something they'd hate either. Neither of us can, he's too smart. If it comes down to it, we might have to fight him. And I don't think we can do that, even at your best. Unless...'

'Unless?'

'I'll take his magic essence. Oh man, that's it! I love you, brain! That's how we'll do this. We don't even need the pony's magic essence. We'll destroy these ponies.'

'And if you can't take it?'

'I have a back up plan. If that doesn't work... well, I hope you enjoy prison.'

'There's more negative energy flowing from you than I expected. I'm impressed.'

'Fantastic.' I closed the book and stared at it. 'What am I gonna do with this? Put it back, I guess. They didn't see me come in with it, but it's dark. Hey, I appreciate the cooperation.'

'It's my pleasure.'

I grabbed the other book and brought the books back to the library, then put them back on their shelves. After that, I headed back to bed, still thinking about the potion.

Author's Notes:

Bam, chapter.

Fawkes scares the hell out of me.

"Hey, lets trade equipment!"
"YES, BY ALL MEANS... LETS."

It's so creepy, and the way he towers over you is terrifying. Just minding my own business, then BAM! Super mutant.
I shot at him a few times thinking he was a regular super mutant charging at me.
And the asshole doesn't go into the chamber for me! The fucker is immune to radiation, but he just stands there and tells me that I have to do it!

Be these things as they may, I still love him.

Ponyville

It got increasingly boring at the castle. Luna managed to keep it together, which is always good. I fully expected her to get sick again. I still do. We didn't hang out as much as I hoped we would, though. I guess that didn't matter.

I was laying on my bed, reading. It's been years since I've read this much. I used to get free pizza from Pizza Hut if I read enough for school, so it was Harry Potter day in, day out.

There was nothing else for me to do. I needed to find a hobby or something. Nightmare berated me for being so boring.

At all times, there was at least one guard around me. That really didn't make a difference with nothing to do.

A little while later, just after lunch, I started exploring the grounds. The guards that were following me didn't seem to like it, even though they didn't do anything to stop me. I took a field trip to the dungeons one time. There wasn't anypony down there. Nothing special. I'd probably store a few ponies down here when we took over, so it was nice to know where it was.

I wandered around the castle grounds some more, past some guards who were doing rounds. They glanced at me.

I sat against the tree where Luna fell asleep against me. I saw her watching me from her balcony, and gave her a wave.

I walked around some more, back into the building.

'Nightmare, when we're done here, do I get to live here?'

'Certainly.'

'Cool, cool.'

I went to the library and looked at a few books, then went back outside. I saw the hedge maze in the distance, and from there, I guessed where the hallway that contained the Elements of Harmony were. I saw the stained glass window designs, so I was right.

'Wait... Do Twilight and her friends have them? Celestia said that... Um... They got them... And that... I don't... remember very well. If they have them, then I could just swipe them and hide them. Plan... starting to form. Hmm, good plan. Still, the whole guard situation. I have never felt so determined in my life.'

Luna flew down next to me.

"Good morning, Luna." I said, "How are you?"

"I'm fine. And you?"

"I'm ok."

"We've received a letter from Twilight today." she said, "Here."

I took it and read it. She asked about Luna, and she even wrote about me, although it was kinda long and rambley. Pinkie probably helped her write it.

"It's been a while since you've seen your other friends. Maybe you should pay them a visit."

"Alright. I've been wanting to talk with Twilight about something, anyways."

She nodded. "I'm sure my sister will wish to speak with you before you go. Come with me."

Celestia was in the throne room, looking over a scroll.

"Hello, Phil."

"Hello, Princess."

"Sister, we have decided that he should go back to Ponyville."

"Why is that?"

"He's spent a time away from his other friends. The letter we received said that they were worried about him, and I thought that he should see them again."

"Alright. It's ok with me. However, you'll need to be accompanied. Since you're going to Ponyville, I'll have Shining Armor join you."

He stepped forward, giving me a brief glance.

'Wait, why is he here in the first place? Doesn't he stay in the Crystal Empire with Cadance?' I thought to myself, 'Speaking of, she's also a viable target for that potion.'

"Fine by me, Princess." I said, "I expected you to say something like that."

"Sister, are you going to take him to the station?"

"Yes, I am."

"Alright. Goodbye."

Our little party left for the train station. It came as no surprise to me that Shining Armor was the one that came with. He was about two foot shorter than me, and I was 100% sure that he could kick my ass any day of the week. Twice on Sundays.

"Guess this is it." I said, "I'll see you in a week. Or a few weeks. Or something. Don't get sick while I'm not here. Or preferably, not at all."

"I'll make sure not to."

"Good." I held my arms out.

"What are you doing?"

"C'mon, gimme hugs."

"A hug?"

She glanced at Shining, then back at me. She smiled. "Alright."

I wrapped my arms around her, and she did the same. She held on surprisingly tightly.

I relaxed a little, but she didn't let go. Not that I wanted her to, of course. Hugs are awesome. if someone ever tells you that hugs aren't awesome, you look them right in the eyes and tell them that hugs are awesome.

I could feel her let out a quiet sigh. After a while like this, she finally pulled away and few seconds later said, "Sorry. I've made this awkward, haven't I?"

"No more than usual."

She had an embarrassed look on her face. Ponies had begun to stare at us, even from the train windows.

"I'll see ya later, Luna. We can try out that hug thing again when I get back."

She paused for a little while, then said, "I'd like that."

It didn't seem like it was something she had intended to say, because a look of realization flashed across her face.

"Goodbye."

"See ya, Luna."

We got on the train. Luna remained where she was for a little while, a little shocked at herself. In the end, she just shrugged to herself and went back home.

I sat across from Shining on the train, still thinking that trains rocked. In the words of a man wiser than I, I like trains. In the words of a man with a level of intelligence similar to that of my own, I like tacos.

I stared at him. He didn't really seem to care all that much, though. I'm sure the only reason he was here was because of Twilight.

Nightmare seemed to take an interest in him. At least how to keep him from getting in the way.

I thought about talking to him, but I didn't have anything to say. Probably.

'Man, this sucks. I'm so bored.'

'Quit your whining. I'm worse off than you are. I can't even move myself.'

'Yeah, alright. That potion's gonna be hell to make. I'd like to find a place that we can hide things.'

'We can use my castle.'

'But the bridge is gone.'

'That won't be a problem.'

'If you say so. Still, Celestia is going to be a tough nut to crack. Luna trusts me. Probably. I need a way to prove myself to Celestia.'

'If a chance comes up, I'll do what I can to assist you.'

'Great.'

'We could fabricate an event. Make it seem like you've overcome a great challenge for the ponies.'

'When Twilight tried that, she made the whole town turn against each other. Besides, I don't think we can do that. We're linked a little too closely at the moment. If you really want to, we'll both have to be patient. At least enough so that you can be independent again.'

'The way you talk makes it seem as though you're experienced with this sort of thing.'

'I'm actually not, and that's likely going to be our downfall.'

'We haven't started yet and you're already thinking of failure.'

'There are just... so many things that can go wrong. I haven't done anything like this, and both times that you tried, you've failed. If you want to rule the world, or even just a country, very careful planning is needed.'

'If you had been there to help me at my prime, I would have succeeded.'

'Like you would've listened to me anyways.'

'You're probably right.'

I didn't say a single word to Shining the whole trip. Oh well.

When we arrived, I looked at the clock. 2:00. That's alright. Pinkie was waiting for us when we got to the station. She had a box on her back.

"Phil!"

"Pinkie!"

She jumped on me and hugged me. "How have you been?"

"Pretty good. You?"

She jumped off. "I've been worried. All of us have."

"Yeah, well... Quit it."

"Hungry? I made cupcakes."

"You know me so well." She gave me the box. I grabbed a cupcake and devoured it. "My stomach got angry at me for eating slightly less than normal recently. It was like rawr, grrr, rawr-rawr."

"Don't starve yourself!"

"Shining! Have a cupcake!" I held box out to him and he grabbed one.

"Hello, Pinkie Pie."

"Shining Armor? What are you doing here?"

"He's here to look after me! Man, you've got your work cut out for you. Or... Uh... The phase that means you can be lazy. I don't know it, actually."

"You should've told Twilight you were coming!" said Pinkie.

"I kinda wanted it to be a surprise."

"Well lets go surprise her, then!" I said.

"Phil, I need to have a word with you. In private." he said.

I shrugged. "See ya there, Pinkie. Or not."

"Bye-bye!"

She headed off to wherever she damn well pleased. Because she was Pinkie Pie. She gets to do that kind of thing.

I had a feeling he was gonna say something about Twilight. I grabbed another cupcake and said, "Alright, buddy. What's up?"

"I want to make one thing clear between us. You're probably not gonna get this, so I'll make it simple. If you ever do anything to my sister, I'm going to hurt you."

"Well, duh. I get the feeling that you don't like me."

"I don't."

I stared at him for a few seconds, then shrugged. "Well, whatever. I can't make everypony happy."

I walked to Twilight's house. House-library. Why do these ponies live in their businesses? Damn it, I've confused myself.

Some ponies said hi to me, like I was a normal, everyday thing now. They even knew my name. Jeff... right?

We walked in Twilight's place. Pinkie was already there.

"Hello, Phil. Shining?"

"Hey, Twilight. How have you been?" he said.

"I've been fine. What are you doing here?"

He looked at me, then said, "I'm here to make sure this guy doesn't do anything."

"If he's not supposed to do anything, then you're not doing a very good job." said Pinkie.

"You know what I mean, Pinkie."

"How's Princess Luna doing?" asked Twilight.

"Last I saw she was back to normal."

"That's a relief."

"So how have you been, Phil?"

"I'm fantabulous! A little bored, though."

"Bored?"

"Yeah, whatever. What about you, Twilight? How've you been? Pinkie said you were all worried."

"We are. It was kinda scary seeing Princess Luna like that."

"Yeah, but at least it looks like she's getting better."

"That's wonderful."

"Can I stay here, Twilight? I guess I'm gonna be in Ponyville for a while."

"That's fine."

"What about me?" asked Shining.

"Oh, right. Um..."

"Phil can stay with me." said Pinkie.

"Wait, doesn't he have to guard me?" I said, pointing at Shining, "I think we both gotta stay in the same place."

"I don't have two extra beds." said Twilight.

"Neither do I."

"Huh..."

"Maybe you two could sleep in the same bed." offered Pinkie.

"There's no way I'm sharing a bed with him."

"I guess I'll get the floor, then."

"You don't have to do that. I'm sure we'll think of something."

"Alright."

"Since you're in Ponyville, you should go see everypony else. I'm sure that they'd be happy to hear about Princess Luna's recovery."

"Sounds fun."

"Can I come with?" asked Pinkie.

"Of course. And he can come with, too. Not that he really has a choice in the matter."

I decided to head to Rarity's place first. She was working on something when we walked in. Seemed pretty fancy.

"Hey, Rarity!" I said cheerfully.

"Phil! Shining Armor? When did you get here?"

"Few minutes ago." I said, "How have you been?"

"I've been fine. What about yourself? Is the Princess alright?"

"Yeah, she's fine. Luna's alright. I'm pretty good, too."

"Oh, that's wonderful."

"Got that right."

"Rarity, what is that?"

"Be nice to our guests. He's the human I mentioned to you."

The adorableness... it hurts.

"Oh! You're... Phil, right?"

"That's right."

"My name is Sweetie Belle."

"Nice to meet ya. Hey Rarity, you free tonight?"

"Yes I am. Why?"

"I wanted to know if you could make something for me."

"Of course."

"Sweet. I'll stop by later. We gotta get going. Sorry to cut this visit short."

"Aw, so soon?"

"Yeah. I gotta tell everypony else the good news."

"Alright. Goodbye everypony."

"See ya."

We headed to Fluttershy's place next.

"Hey Pinkie. C'mere."

"What's up?"

I grabbed onto her and put her on my shoulders. She giggled, then started laughing. She was like virtually weightless.

"This is so fun!" she said, giggling away.

She almost fell off, but balanced herself out, then laughed even harder.

She put her hooves on my head. "I can see my house from here!"

"So can I. It's almost like we're 20 feet away from it." I said, "Spooky, right?"

"I know..."

"We are 20 feet away from it." said Shining.

"Barrel of laughs you are."

I took a wrong turn. At least, I thought I did. Pinkie had to guide me in the right direction a few times.

"Fluttershy! Are you home?" called Pinkie.

The door opened. We all looked down to see Angel. Why is this rabbit sentient? He's smarter than I am. Opening doors? Even I haven't mastered this kind of technology yet. Fucking Furry Fuck here mastered this hidden art long ago on the fiery planes of fucking Narnia. I can't compete with that shit.

"Hey, Angel! Fluttershy around?"

He put his hand up, then closed the door. Fluttershy opened it a few seconds later. Finally, a little normality enters the picture. A yellow miniature horse with functional, non-electric wings opening a door with her hooves with kung-fu grip action. They're cylinders! Fucking CYLINDERS!

"Hello. What are you doing up there, Pinkie?"

"I don't know. It's fun, though."

"That's nice."

I told her about Luna. She chatted with Pinkie for a little while I glared at her witch of a rabbit, and we left shortly after.

'That reminds me, that guy... Lightning... Dasher... Yeah, that was it. Huh... I wonder what happened with him.'

"Hey Pinkie, how are we gonna get ahold of Rainbow? She lives in Cloudsdale, right? On a cloud. We can't get up there. I can't scale mountains as easily as you may think."

"She'll show up."

"I wanna live on a cloud. They're probably so comfy."

"They are."

"Alright, excluding Rainbow Dash, we seem to be a little limited at the moment, but who do you think we should go visit next?"

"Applejack!"

"Sounds like a plan to me. And... where exactly is she located?"

She turned my head to the right and said, "That way!"

I followed her directions until we got to the farm. Apples everywhere. I don't know why I expected something different. It's not my fault. I was a good son.

"Hey, there's Big Macintosh!" said Pinkie, "He's Applejack's brother."

"Alright. He seems busy."

"If he's out, then Applejack must be out, too. Go that way!"

I walked wherever she told me to go. I'm pretty sure we went in a circle.

"What're ya'll doin' on his head?"

"My vision went all pink a while ago and I needed something to guide me around town." I said, "Incidentally, your friend Pinkie Pie is pink. I didn't think you noticed."

Pinkie removed her hooves from my eyes.

"My vision has been returned to me. Hey Applejack! What's goin' on, buddy?"

"Ah'm jus' workin'. What about yourself?"

"We're all good. He might not be. He's gotta look after me."

"You have a babysitter?" said Rainbow Dash, walking in from behind us.

"Well, he doesn't sit on babies, but pretty much, yeah. Glad you could make it, too. I got something to tell you both."

"Princess Luna is all better!" said Pinkie.

"Aw, I wanted to say that."

"Really? That's awesome!"

"That's some good news."

"Damn skippy. What have you two been up to?"

"Nothing much. Just working."

"Same here, I guess. There wasn't much of anything going on."

"That sounds boring."

"It is."

I shrugged. "Oh well. You two have fun, now. I'm gonna take off. There's a few more things I'd like to take care of today."

"It's still pretty early. Lets hang out some more."

"Actually, Ah've gotta get back to work. These apples aren't gonna harvest themselves."

"Oh. Well, I'm still free."

"Alrighty then. See ya later, Applejack."

"Umm..."

"You too, Pinkie?"

"I spent my break showing you around town. I gotta get back soon."

I started walking. "So Rainbow, if you weren't hanging with me, what'd you be doing?"

"Probably training."

"Or sleeping." said Pinkie.

"What are ya trainin' for?"

She explained the Wonderbolts to me.

When she was done, I said, "The Wonderbolts sound awesome. I gotta see 'em in action one of these days."

"They have a show in about a week. We could go see it together."

"That sounds awesome. Except I don't have any money. Hey Pinkie, can I work with you?"

"I'll have to ask Mr. Cake about that."

"Alright."

"Are you gonna be coming with?" Rainbow asked Shining.

"I don't really have a choice."

"Nope, but you're paying for your own admission."

"I'll be fine. I kinda wanted to see one of their shows, too."

"It's goin' be fun on the bun."

I dropped Pinkie off at her bakery. Turns out, they weren't looking for hire.

"Ah well."

"If you still want a job, you should go ask Applejack. She's got thousands of apples to move. I'm sure she'll appreciate some help."

"But I was just there! Now I'll have to walk back there. You must like watching me suffer."

"Well, a little." said Shining.

"I'll get it taken care of eventually. Thanks for the advice. C'mon you two, there's more I wanna do."

"Right behind ya."

"Yeah..."

Surprise!

"I said I'd do it and I did it. Danke, Applejack."

"We need more help than ya know. First, Ah'd like ya to..."

I've been working harder than ever before for a week. I woke up early and went to bed late, and worked hard at the farm all day. I had nothing else to do, and she paid me overtime.

Today I took the day off. I was exhausted. And smelly. I smelled like tacos. Tacos that someone left in the sun for a week, but tacos nonetheless.

"I need a shower." I said to myself, "Wait... I need a change of clothes first. Ah damn, I forgot to tell Rarity what I wanted. Shining! Why didn't you tell me to go back to Rarity's place?"

"I didn't think you cared anymore."

"Fair enough. I wouldn't wanna get my new clothes dirty anyways. I have never worked anywhere close to this hard before."

"I'm kinda impressed with your work habits. It's more than a guard works."

"Huh?"

"Guards shouldn't work more than ten hours in one day. Princess Celestia told us that it keeps us rested."

"That's a neat little piece of trivia. C'mon, lets head over to her place. I'd like to have at least two sets of clothes. Maybe three. Then I'll shower... somewhere."

I saw somepony familiar on the way there. "Lightning Dasher! Haven't seen you in a while, buddy."

"Oh, hey! Wow, you really smell."

"That's what happens when I do stuff." I said, "I missed ya on the train."

"Well, I saw you."

"That's because I'm a 6 foot tall shaved ape. Hard to miss me when I stand above everypony."

"That's... pretty accurate."

"So you have any luck with that thing you told me about?"

"Um... no."

"Not yet, you mean."

"Yeah."

"Still need help?"

"I thought you said you didn't get involved in that kind of thing."

"Yeah, whatever. C'mon, you should go talk to her friend. I'm headed to Rarity's place right now."

"Alright. If you say so. Thanks."

We walked into the Carousel Boutique.

"What is that horrid smell? Sweetie Belle, are you cooking something?"

"Not right now. Do you want something?"

"That won't be necessary."

"Hey, Rarity!" I called.

She walked out to us. "Goodness, you smell awful. Hello, Lightning Dasher."

"Been a while since I've been in here." said Lightning, "It's pretty nice."

"Thank you. I furnished it myself. Now Phil, you really need to take a bath, or at least put on some deodorant."

"Oh yeah... I forgot deodorant existed. I'd like you to make me a spare set of clothes. I was gonna ask you the day I got back, but I forgot."

"No worries." she said, "What all do you need?"

She got out a pad and wrote while I talked.

"Shorts. I also need underwear, and a few pairs of socks. And a shirt. Or two."

"Mmm, hmm... Is that all?"

"I think so. After I get some clothes, I'll take a shower or something. Oh! And I need you to talk to this guy."

He waved at her. "Hey, Rarity."

"What is it you need?"

"I wanted to talk about... uh, Fluttershy."

"Oh. I'm afraid I don't think I can help you with that."

"I don't know, you're friends with Fluttershy. I though you could probably tell him something useful." I said.

"I guess I can try." she said.

"Great, but do that later. I really need some clothes."

Lightning shrugged. "That's fine with me."

Rarity brought out a strip of measuring tape and wrapped it around me for a while, writing down whatever she felt like. Probably something useful, like grams of cyanide needed for... Dude, fuck math, just use all of it.

When she was done, she said, "Any preferences?"

"Blue denim shorts, red shirt. Those don't show stains. For the most part."

"Well... that isn't what I would've made, but alright."

"Sweet, thanks."

"Would you like me to clean your clothes as well?"

"Really? That'd be great! You are so nice. Wait... Then I'd be naked."

"You can bathe yourself here while I clean them."

"That might work. Expect I take like ten minutes to shower. I'll just be sitting here wrapped in a towel waiting for them to dry for like an hour or something."

"Ten minutes? That's an awfully short amount of time."

"Yeah well, I don't really groom myself. I get clean and I'm done. It works for me and keeps me all sparkly fresh for the day."

"I'll get to work on the new clothes, then. Until they're done, you're going to have to keep those dirty things on."

"Thank you. How much will this run me?"

"Hmm... Materials..." She told me the price. I had enough from working with Applejack, but if I gave it to her now, then I probably wouldn't be able to go see the Wonderbolts with Rainbow. I wonder if Lightning's coming with.

She must've noticed that I didn't like the price, so she said, "You're a friend. Will half off do?"

"Wow, really? Thank you so much."

"Absolutely. I should be done in three hours. Come back then."

I happily paid her, and we left, leaving Lightning there with her. I told him to come see me when he was done here.

I wandered close to the Everfree Forest and laid under a tree. "Oh man, I am so tired."

"Hey dude, what're you doing here?" asked Rainbow, joining us.

"Just laying down." I said, "I'm too lazy to go any further."

"Why do you smell so bad?"

"I haven't showered in like... two weeks."

"Gross. You stoked for tomorrow?"

"You bet I am! It's gonna be awesome."

"You got that right. The show starts at 9 PM, so we'll have to leave kinda early. About 6 in the morning."

"Alright, I can do that. You got any food on ya?"

"Do I look like I have food?"

"You should."

"You know, not including inside the forest, this is the worst place you could've decided to sleep."

"Inside the forest, you say?" I got up and cracked my back. "C'mon, lets go."

"Go? Into the Everfree?"

"I wanna see what's in here."

"There's some really bad things in this forest." said Shining.

"I am a really bad thing." I replied. I looked right at the forest. "Then again, I don't have any real reason to go in. I still kinda want to. There might be some treasure in here."

"Wouldn't you need a map if you wanted to find treasure?"

"Probably." I started thinking. "Has anypony ever mapped the entire forest?"

"I've never seen one, but I've met a few ponies who tried. They never got far." said Shining.

"I want one." I shrugged. "Now I'm standing up. I guess that's what happens when I move my body into an upright position and use my feet and legs to keep that stance and maintain my balance. I'm hungry."

We headed to Sugarcube Corner. Cupcakes were some good stuff. And Pinkie was an awesome cook. I needed my fix, man...

"Pinkie Pie!"

"Right here!"

"You got the stuff?"

"You got the money?"

"I got the money, do you got the stuff?"

"Oh, I got the stuff. Show me the money."

"Show me the stuff."

She slid a paper bag to me. I opened it to find a few cupcakes.

"Yeah, that's the good stuff." I paid off my dealer... I mean Pinkie Pie. "Don't spend it all in one place."

She gave me a nod, and I returned it.

She cracked a smile, and we both started laughing.

"Executed flawlessly." I said, eating one. I really do like cupcakes. Cupcakes is like my family.

"What's up, smelly?"

"Just grabbin' some grub. You?"

"Nothing much."

"Aw, I thought you'd have, like, this huge, action-packed adventure I could go on."

"Nope. Not today."

"Then I'll find my own adventure! With blackjack! And hookers!"

"What?"

"You know what? Forget the adventure, and the blackjack!"

"I..."

"Ah, screw the whole thing. Good day to you, ma'am."

I tipped an imaginary top hat, then walked away.

"I'll see you later, then!"

"Got that right!"

I grabbed another cupcake, then tossed it to Rainbow. She caught it and took a bite.

"You know, I'm not gonna do anything fun. I probably should've warned ya before you followed me."

"Oh..."

I heard a very loud squeal, then something tackled me to the ground.

"I'm innocent!"

"I told you all they were real!"

"Wha-"

"I can't believe it took me a week to find you." The mare was standing on my back.

"Uh... hello."

"Hello!"

"You know, it's a bit difficult to greet you properly when you're on my back." I said.

"Oh my gosh, sorry!"

She hopped off.

She was stuttering in excitement. "M-my name is... Lyra.

"Hello, Lyra. Mine's Phil."

I sat up and looked at her. Wide smile? Check. Huge eyes? Check. Pony-shaped body? Check. Species diagnosis complete. Folks, we're dealing with a taco here.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry I knocked you over, I got a little excited. I just really like humans."

"That's something we have in common. You want a cupcake?"

I gave her my last one. Lord Pinkie Pie, why hath thou forsaken me? Why must I suffer, so?

"Thank you..."

She stared at the food. No, not that. My hand.

"C'mon, take it."

"Oh yeah!"

She grabbed the cupcake, but kept staring at my hand.

"A real human..."

"Last time I checked."

"Where have you been since you got here? I looked all over for a week! I even went to Canterlot!"

"Applejack gave me a job at Sweet Apple Acres, so I go there then go back home every day. Nopony told you?"

"No they didn't, and they should have." she said, looking at Rainbow.

"Hey, don't try and blame me for this. I told you I thought you were crazy. Uh... yeah... guess you weren't. Sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it." She looked back to me. "I just can't believe it... It's just like a dream."

"Well, believe it. You're not dreaming. At least I hope you aren't. I love this place, and my widdle pony friends. Like you."

"We're friends!"

"You got that right."

"I have so many questions I wanna ask you."

"Sure, I'll answer them."

She asked a lot of questions without even giving me time to answer them.

"Lyra?"

She began to poke me, and started jumping around my body. She must've been examining me, because when she looked at my eyes, she said, "Blue. Is that a normal color?"

She got out two more questions before I said, "You do know that you're supposed to let the other guy answer, right?"

"Oh, sorry."

I stood back up.

"How tall are you?"

"6'1."

"Are all humans your height?" she asked.

"No, it's pretty different. I don't actually know what the average is. 5 foot something, probably. There are 7 billion of us. There's bound to be a little variance."

"7 b... 7 billion?!"

"Yep."

"There are 7 billion humans in your world?" asked Rainbow.

"Well, it might be closer to 7.1 billion now, but yeah."

"And... your world can hold all of them?"

"Yeah. Kind of. I... can't really answer that question. I haven't researched that topic very well."

"Well, what about weight? How much do you weigh? What's the average?"

"I'm 187, but I don't know the averages for a lot of things in my world. As I said, there are more than 7 billion humans. My country alone has about 300 million people in it, and a country on the other side of the world from me has well over a billion."

"Wow..."

"I can't really tell you about anyone other than myself, really. Sorry I can't be more helpful. That kind of stuff doesn't really matter to me."

"That's completely fine. What do you eat? Are you omnivorous?"

"Yeah. Personally, I prefer meat to anything else. Beef, cow, is my favorite. Then ham, pig. I don't like eating chicken, though. Or fish... Or lobster. I've eaten elk and deer, too. Uh... I can't really remember anything else, regarding my meat eating habits."

"That's disgusting." said Shining.

"That does sound pretty gross." said Rainbow.

"Yeah, well... You don't mind, do you, Lyra?"

"I already knew he was a meat eater. Look at those canines. Can I see your teeth?"

I shrugged, then bent down and opened my mouth. I held my breath, because just about everybody I knew said it was awful.

She looked inside for a few seconds. "I've never seen a picture of human teeth before. There aren't very many documents of humans."

"Celestia told me that they were here like a thousand years ago or something."

"That's what I was getting some of my information from, but it's pretty hard to find any more."

"Also it'd be pretty dated. Seriously, life expectancy almost tripled."

"Oh yeah, what is it now?"

"Like 80 something."

"How old are you?"

"16. Birthday's October 4th. Lot of people I know have October birthdays. Me, brother, sister, grandma, and 2 friends.'

"Where do you live?"

"Like you would know where it is."

"No, like what type of place?"

"A small-ish town. About 35000 people live there at any given time, and 1400 people go to my high school."

"1400 humans in a school..."

"Yep."

"I wish I went there."

"Hey, if I ever find a way back home, I'll take you with me."

"Really?!" Oh man, that smile.

"I promise. Although it's way more fun here. I get to meet colorful characters like you. In both the literal and metaphorical sense."

"Thank you!"

She tackled me again, but I managed to stay on my feet this time. Hugs!

Gosh, I love ponies.

'This is pathetic.'

'Yeah, well I'm pathetic.'

'Yes. Yes you are.'

I dropped the widdle cutie I was holding. "Well Lyra, I'm gonna go do some boring things, now. If you wanna come with then go ahead."

"If you're gonna be boring, then I'm taking off."

"See ya tomorrow."

"Yeah."

Party member lost: Rainbow Dash
Party member gained: Lyra

"So what boring stuff are you doing?"

"I don't know. I'll probably go back to Twilight's place and read or something."

"You've been staying at Twilight Sparkle's house?"

"Yep. I think I'm gonna go there right now."

'What am I doing? Just because Shining's here doesn't mean I'm trapped. I can do stuff. But the real question is, do I want to? I'm boring.'

I had nothing else really to do. I could go make friends with the other background ponies, but I was already with Lyra. Besides, the Doctor might see through me. Then again, he's never met me before. Even so, I kinda wanna talk to Derpy. No reason, really. She's just so cute and huggable and snuggly and *insert kawaii descriptive word here.*

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the story so far.

"Hey Twilight, I brought a friend."

"That's... nice. Hello, Lyra. I expected to see you sooner or later considering your fondness for humans." she said.

"I should've just come to you first. Nopony told me that he came back to Ponyville, and nopony knew where he was staying, either."

"Well, now ya know."

I grabbed a book, not caring anymore what it was about. Turns out, it was a spell book. I wish I could use magic. Teleportation would be so overused in my house. Need a taco? Teleport it from fucking Canada.

"So Lyra, you got any more questions?"

"Oh, absolutely!"

So much questioning. From something mundane like how much I drink, to something bigger like what humans do. Explaining the latter took a solid 30 minutes. I impressed myself with my ability to simply list off things humans do for work or just for fun.

Twilight got in on it, as well. She asked me stuff like the scientific name of a human. It was like the only easy question. Homo sapiens. She really wanted to test my intelligence. It was like she was just giving me an actual test.

I am very smart. At least I like thinking I am. I've never been given a reason to think the opposite, so I just go with it. Turns out, Twilight briefly studied calculus, but never went in depth with it. Same as me, except she went further than I did, and he actually remembered what she learned. Calculus is complicated, but if I took it I'm pretty sure I would've passed. Math always came naturally.

She was way smarter than I was in just about everything. Even chemistry. I passed AP Chem, but Twilight knew way more. Organic, heat transfer, titration, everything. I couldn't remember jack.

Man, I loved that class. Teacher was awesome, students were awesome, exploding balloons, burning metal, and learning how to make meth. I mean... ice cream. Yeah. Ice cream. Mmm... ice cream...

She was just simply better, there was no getting around that.

I had basic knowledge of everything, but she wanted to find out how much I knew about everything. We kept going until she exhausted everything on her list.

"Humans learn so much with just a high school education."

"Oh yeah. I may not know more than you, but there are thousands of humans that do. Humans do things with science instead of magic, and it is far harder. Literally anything that you can do, humans can create, test, and perfect a device that can equal it."

"Even time travel?"

"Well... Probably not. I'm not entirely sure that traveling through time using human science is possible. I guess that if enough time passes, then they can do anything, but time travel is so close to science fiction that I think it's impossible. Or maybe it's already been done. I have no idea. Speaking of time, how long have we been talking?"

"Maybe three hours."

"Alright Twilight, I'm gonna take off. Rarity's expecting me."

"Alright, goodbye."

"Yup, see ya."

And back to her house I went. Lyra followed us again.

"Why does Rarity expect you?"

"I had her make some clothes for me. Maybe you haven't noticed, but I smell."

"Yeah. I noticed. I thought it was normal."

"It's normal after two weeks without showering."

"Oh. Is not showering normal?"

"No, not really."

The door opened just as I reached my hand for it. Rarity greeted us.

"Going somewhere?"

"No, I could smell you. Go use my shower. A set of clothing is in there for you already."

I shrugged. "Alright. See you all in a little while."

Man, pony bathtubs were small. I locked the door. A red shirt was laid over a neatly folded pile of clothing. Next to it was a towel.

Ten minutes later, I was all cleaned and ready for whatever. I walked back out, old clothes in my hands.

"I can take those for you." said Rarity, levitating the clothing away from me.

"Thanks, Rarity. I really appreciate your help here."

"At least you smell fresh, now. How do you feel?"

"Good. Really good."

She gave me a bag full of other clothes. "I hope you like them."

"I love the stuff I'm wearing, so I probably will. They feel great."

"I'm glad you like them."

"Where did Lightning take off to?"

"He said he wanted to get something to impress Fluttershy with. I told him that she doesn't really like grand, extravagant gifts, so he said that he would get her a bouquet of lovely flowers. After that, he went to the Everfree Forest."

"Man, wouldn't it just be hilarious if he picked poison joke?" I said.

"Uh... I don't think he knows what poison joke looks like. Oh dear..."

"Oh, that's not good. Maybe we should go check on him."

"Good idea."

She gave me a general idea of where to look, but Lightning wasn't specific when he told her.

When we got to the edge of the forest, I said, "Lyra, you should stay here."

"What? I can't come with?"

"You probably shouldn't go in here."

"I'll be fine. I have you two to protect me."

"Yeah, you got a point there. Lets go."

We followed the instructions we got. A little later, we started hearing growling.

"What is that?"

"Shh..." I said, "Whatever it is, don't let it hear us."

We walked softly. Soon, we saw something that was pretty extreme.

"Oh my gosh, a manticore..."

We all got down. If manticores didn't have scorpion tails, I'd be less afraid of them. This was dangerous.

The beast was pawing at some brush and growling. Something must've been in there. Dinner.

"Lightning is in there." said Shining, "I can see him."

"Oh man... that is not good."

He nearly jumped out there, but I put a hand on his back.

"We need to help him!"

"I have a plan." I whispered, "I'm going to sneak up from behind. You make sure the tail can't reach me when I jump on it's back."

"Wha..."

"Can you do that, Shining?"

"Y-yeah, I can do that. Be careful."

'I'm gonna fucking die.'

He started his spell. I sprinted at the big cat and jumped on his back before it could turn around. It growled loudly at me and tried to shake me off.

I quickly wrapped an arm around it's neck, putting it into a choke hold.

It tried to buck me off, and my arms were burning with exhaustion. Just a few more seconds.

It slowed down, then stopped. I quickly let go of it. Any longer and it may have died. Or maybe it was already dead. Oh well, I guess.

"Lightning!"

"Phil? How did you find me?"

"Rarity told me where you were. Are you ok?"

"He got my wing pretty bad. I couldn't fly away."

His wing and chest were bleeding pretty badly. It looked like he got clawed.

"Oh man, that doesn't look good. C'mon, lets get you to a hospital."

"Yeah... yeah."

I looked at the manticore. It was breathing, so it wasn't dead. Good.

'Well... that was very impressive. I greatly underestimated your abilities.'

"How long have you been bleeding?"

"I... don't really know. I don't feel very good."

"Oh sh... This is gonna hurt, but bear with me."

"What... ahh!"

I picked him up and started running at full speed out of the forest, holding my hand right over his injury. He groaned with every step.

I knew where the hospital was, but it was kinda far. My whole body burned.

'Fucking run faster!'

I made it there in under a minute.

"Don't worry, buddy. You'll be fine. I got you here in record time." I told him.

"Thanks."

As soon as they saw him, they took him from me. I wobbled a little, then collapsed into a nearby chair.

"I... feel... so... tired..."

I had blood all over my hand. I almost wiped it on my new clothes, but found the bathroom and cleaned myself there. None on my clothes. I couldn't see any, at least.

When I got back out, I heard a slow clap. "Good job, Phil."

"Thanks, Shining."

He took care of the hospital staff while I sat back down.

"How did you learn how to preform a sleeper hold?"

"I just picked it up." I didn't say anything else. It might've creeped him out if I started talking about blood flow and anatomy and stuff.

"That was pretty brave."

"Thanks."

"You risked your own life for somepony else. I didn't think you had it in you."

"Me either. Least he's here now."

"Absolutely."

I stayed for a few more minutes, then got bored and we took off. He's gonna be fine.

I told Rarity what happened. She seemed kinda guilty, but I reassured her that he'd be fine and that she shouldn't worry.

After we left, I started talking to my party.

"Hey Shining, should we tell Fluttershy about this?"

"I'm not sure."

"Lyra?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, pay attention."

"I'm gonna head home. It's getting late."

"Yep. See ya. Feel free to show up unexpectedly any time of the week except tomorrow."

"Alright. Bye."

"You know what? I'm gonna tell her."

"Alright, but you can't hold me responsible for whatever happens."

She was outside her house, playing with some of her animals.

"Hey, Fluttershy."

"Ah! Oh... hello."

"Lightning Dasher sent me to tell you he wanted to see you."

"Oh, really? Where is he?"

"He's... in the hospital."

"What?! Oh my goodness, what happened to him?"

"He was trying to get some flowers. For you."

"M-me?"

"He got attacked by a manticore while he was looking for them, but we got him out and took him to the hospital. Don't worry about his safety. He's fine. I just thought that you should go see him. If you want to, of course."

"Of course I'll see him. Um... I... Thank you for telling me."

"Yep."

She was pretty worried, but I expected that. I've done my part. Now it's his turn to not screw it up.

I decided that my day was done, and went back home.

"I still have enough for Wonderbolt tickets?"

"Yeah, you're good."

"Sweet."

Author's Notes:

Well... that's chapter 7.

I can't help but feel that my stories are lacking in the emotional aspect. Just one thing that I'm finding difficult to write. The language is too predictable, even when I have something sudden happen. Oh well.

I'd like to take a moment to say that I love you all.
I really like it when people review, so go ahead and tell me what you think.

Music

I borrowed Twilight's alarm clock so I could wake up on time. I ate a small breakfast, then met Rainbow at the station. It was dark outside, and I was still pretty sleepy.

"You made it! I didn't expect you to get here after that stunt you pulled yesterday."

"It took me like 20 minutes just to get out of my bed. I'm still pretty sore."

"You'll be fine."

We boarded the train. I got a cupcake from the dinner cart... or whatever the hell it was called. Food cart. Food court. Taco, you are charged with the crime of being delicious. How do you plead? Squishing noise. Guilty. Your sentence is immediate execution.

Being delicious is a serious crime in this day and age. I'm glad that malicious law breaker is getting his just deserts. Mmm... desert.

I giggled. "Food court."

I sat next to Rainbow, then it hit me... Shining wasn't here.

"Uh... Rainbow? Was Shining Armor with me when I arrived?"

"I didn't see him. Did you just let him sleep?"

"Oh boy... he is not gonna be happy when he finds out about this. Should I go get him?"

The train started moving.

"Guess not."

"He heard you say what time we were going. And he had to have heard the alarm go off. We sleep in the same room."

"Guess he's not coming."

"Probably not. Well, I'm going back to sleep."

"Fantastic idea."

I rested on my knees. I probably wouldn't make it back to sleep. It was too bright. It was hard for me to sleep with even a little light.

'So we're free from Shining Armor.'

'We're going to Canterlot, it doesn't really matter. The train's still going slow, though. We could jump off.'

'That's stupid.'

'Yeah it is.'

"You mind if I lay on you?"

"Not... really."

She laid her back against my shoulder.

"You into any sports?"

"Nope."

"Really?"

"Yep. Don't like sports."

"I thought you did."

"Nah. I just lay around all day. I used to, at least."

"There are tons of things to do here."

"Yeah."

"Well, whatever. I guess I'll just fall asleep like this."

"Alright."

A little bit later, she started to snore. I looked at her for a little while, then sighed.

'Man, Canterlot is pretty far away from Ponyville. Either we need to lure Twilight and her friends there, or we need to get help from outside.'

'I can't think of anypony who would even want to help.'

'Where are the changelings located?'

'I don't know. I was never able to find them. How do you know about them? And the other day you mentioned their Queen. She never stated her name during the attack, and you couldn't have learned about it here.'

'I know everything, Nightmare Moon. I've always known everything about you ponies.'

'You're not making any sense. How do you know about them?'

'I just do. Don't waste your time trying to get anything out of me. It's just not relevant. Even if I told you, it wouldn't matter. It'd like asking an alien what planet he comes from.'

She growled at me.

'They may help us. If I can find them, first. And besides, they're changelings. I could get the essence of love from them.'

'You do realize that you need to make them fall in love with you in able to get it, right?'

'That would've been helpful information a week ago. Tell me these things sooner. I still want to see them. I guess I'll change the target to somepony else.'

'You have Luna eating from your hands already. It wouldn't be hard to get it from her.'

Hearing her say that made me feel uneasy. 'It'll be a while before I'll do anything. Shining's probably pissed at me for leaving him.'

'Possibly.'

I looked back at Rainbow, sleeping soundly on my shoulder. I loved staring at ponies while they slept. They were so cute. She was so soft. It's like she wasn't even there.

What do ya know, I fell asleep.

About 12 or so hours later, the screeching brakes woke me up. Or 8 hours. Or 5. I have no idea. I shook my head and yawned.

"Rainbow, wake up." Her head was now laying on my lap. She opened her eyes an looked up at me. I glanced at her, then sleepily said, "Train stopped. C'mon, lets go."

She sat up. "Did I sleep through the breaks? Thanks for waking me. Unlike how you woke up Shining Armor."

"Yeah." I stood up and cracked my back. "Lets do this."

I yawned again, then stepped off the train. Canterlot was beautiful in the evening sun. Man, evening came kinda quick. Was it getting close to the fall? Haven't seen a calendar in a while. Don't really know what day it is.

"We got about three hours to kill before the show starts."

"Lets get our tickets now so we won't have to stand in line."

"Good idea."

Naturally, I had no idea where it was, so I followed Rainbow through town. There was already quite a line formed, so we were forced to stand in the back.

"Aw man, this is gonna take forever!" said Rainbow.

"Oh well. At least we got here early."

The pony in front of us turned and said, "The guys up front were in line all night."

"Oh really? They must be some hardcore fans." I said.

"I'm the most hardcore fan around here!" said Rainbow.

"Hey, it's the human." I heard from behind. I turned around to look at the pony.

"Oh my gosh, it's the captain!"

"Hello."

"You're the guy who was hanging around the castle, aren't ya."

"Yep. Name's Phil."

"Spitfire. Like Rainbow Dash said, I'm the captain."

"You remembered my name!"

"Of course I did."

Rainbow let out her little fangirl squeal.

"Calm down there, Rainbow."

She giggled. "Sorry."

"Hope the two of you enjoy the show."

"I'm sure we will. See ya."

"I can't believe it! She just talked to you."

I shrugged. "Well... alright, then. That's awesome."

"You know, I was in the Wonderbolts academy once."

"Oh really?"

"Yep. I was top of the class."

"I can believe that. Did you know... that I... exist?"

"Is that all?"

"Well, it's not like I accomplished anything in my life, ever."

"You haven't?"

"Nope."

"Well, you saved Lightning Dasher. That's an accomplishment."

"Oh yeah."

"How exactly did you take down a manticore, anyways?"

"I snuck up from behind and choked it. How did she know what I did?"

"It probably got in the paper. It's not easy to beat a manticore."

It took about 30 minutes to get to the booth. Or less. I don't know. My wallet took a kick to the nuts, but what was I gonna use it for, anyways?

The ticket had a location guide on it. Our section was about halfway in.

"I'd never go to something like this back home."

"Why's that?"

"I never did anything. If I had to pay for something, I'd stay home. Even if it was free, I'd probably stay at home. Sports bore me."

"Then why are you here now?"

"Well for one, I actually have money, but it's mostly 'cause you're here."

"So you just came with because I'm here?"

"Maybe. Sounds like something I'd do. Or maybe it's because you made the Wonderbolts sound awesome. That might've contributed to it."

"It's probably that. They're really awesome."

I saw a white pony go into a door to the stadium.

"Hey Dash, you know if there's gonna be music playing here?"

"Yeah, DJ-Pon3's playing here. She's into dubstep and stuff like that. The show's actually supposed to be synced to her music."

"Whoa... Ok, now I'm interested. I wish you would've told me earlier."

"Well, it's supposed to be a secret, but I know tonight's DJ. Se said that it's gonna be better than what got advertised."

"You gotta introduce me to her when the show's over."

"I guess I can do that. You gotta keep it down, though. She's kinda secretive."

"Yeah, yeah."

The line started growing. Lucky we got here earlier.

"Lets grab something to eat."

"Good idea."

We got some lunch from some restaurant. They didn't really have human food, so I just had some toast. Buttered toast.

Never underestimate the power of buttered toast. You'll probably end up getting shanked in a prison. I've seen it happen to the best of us. Ol' Ronnie's in a better place, now. Fighting hellhounds in the flaming pits of Tartarus. Wait, Hell isn't a better place? Well that's weird. Ronnie keeps telling me that it's better than it sounds.

Why's Ronnie in Hell, you ask? He didn't like that picture on Facebook. Who's Ronnie, you ask? That is the greatest mystery of them all.

Why wasn't I named Ronnie? Phil is an abomination of a name. I'd never name my kid Phil. I'd name him something cool like Maximillion. Phil's not even my real name, anyways. It's my middle name. I'm actually named after my dad, though. That's why I use my middle name. Two people who'd respond to the same thing would get confusing.

Anyways, after we ate, we walked back to the stadium to see the line, then I laughed at the ponies in the back.

Even with 4 ticket booths going at once now, it didn't look like they were making a dent in the line. Ponies kept joining in.

Me and Rainbow walked around the town. The entire inside area of the stadium was cut off until 20 minutes before the scheduled starting time. After the doors opened, we all poured in.

The stage in the middle was surrounded by huge speakers. Some of the ponies around us questioned the need for them.

Even with all the ponies, we still had room to move around.

It reminded me of the colosseum in Rome, with bench-like seats going all the way around. It was much shorter, though. I saw smaller speakers all around the place.

If only I knew about the music. I would've skipped buying clothes and bought a front-row ticket.

I heard somepony land behind me. "Hello, Phil."

"Celestia! I didn't expect to see you here."

"Where is Shining Armor?"

"Ponyville, probably."

"Really?"

"Well, what about your guards?"

"They'll be here shortly."

Celestia took a seat next to us. The sky was almost black. After we were all more or less seated, the lights dimmed.

The stage lit up, and the Wonderbolts landed in the center, decked out in their uniforms. Everypony cheered for them.

Music started to play as they flew in a circle. They changed their flight speed according to the tempo.

They slowly ascended, holding their circle.

The music got faster, doubling the speed, which made the Wonderbolts double their speed.

A loud bump came from the speakers, and a bright light flashed. They shot into the air.

They were playing follow the leader as the music steadily got louder, flying in a figure-8 pattern.

The bass got louder, and they spread out and paused in the air. They were in a circle around the center.

Different colored lights covered their bodies from the stage. They dived backwards as it built up, then shot back up into the air as the bass hit. A trail of light came from each of them.

Ponies cheered loudly. I looked down at the speakers. I could feel the bass all the way back here. I bet the ponies up front felt like they were being punched in the face.

'This is awesome!'

They did tons of intricate moves as the music played. They were almost too fast to follow, and the ponies working the lights couldn't keep up. No, that wasn't it, the lights made their own patterns.

The bass faded away, then another song started playing, flawlessly connecting with the previous.

They slowed down, and flew differently. This time, they split apart down the middle, with one remaining.

After that point, I lost interest in the Wonderbolts, and focused on the music. I still watched, but didn't really care.

I looked at Rainbow, who had a huge smile. Celestia seemed to be enjoying herself as well.

It was pretty hard to follow them for a few reasons. They were extremely fast, it was dark, and the lights made me look away from where they could be.

I was beginning to think that this wasn't even a Wonderbolt performance. It was probably a concert in disguise. I have solved my own mystery. I've done it. I've saved the universe. Really, having a Wonderbolts show late at night like this was kinda silly.

Midway through, a few slower songs played. Probably to let them rest. It went back to dubstep again rather quickly.

This was the point where I closed my eyes and listened. I'm not gonna say I cared about watching anymore, because I lost interest in that a while ago.

I laid back onto the empty seat behind me. This music was amazing. It reminded me of home, where I listened to incredibly loud music all day, every day.

The show lasted an hour and a half. At the end, the lights went out, and came back on a few seconds later, the Wonderbolts nowhere to be seen. The lights were shown at eleven different points around the stadium, revealing them sitting on the walls and smiling.

They soared back down to the stage just as the final note played, then bowed.

The ponies roared.

"That was amazing! I've never seen them do anything like that before."

"That was the coolest thing I've ever seen. We gotta do this again."

"Got that right."

"I must say that this performance was quite impressive."

"It was mindblowing."

"Phil, may I have a word with you?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Come with me. I'd like to talk in private."

"Can I come with?"

"If you wish."

She led us out of the stadium, walking along the path the ponies made for her.

When we were in a more private setting, Celestia spoke.

"Shining Armor isn't here."

"No, sorry. He knew about this beforehand."

"He did." said Rainbow, "I told both of them yesterday."

"I've decided that you have no need for a guard anymore. After risking yourself to save a pony, I think you've proven yourself to me."

"Thank you, Princess."

"There's more I wish to speak with you about."

"Hmm?"

"Shining Armor told me what happened in the forest. He noted that your attack was very precise. Are you trained?"

"No. I've never received any training."

"Yet you preformed a very precise choke hold."

"It isn't hard. It really isn't."

"He also said that you stopped him from attacking the manticore."

"I didn't want to risk him getting hurt. I was absolutely sure that he could have done it, though."

"So why did you do it?"

"Because I didn't want him in danger. I knew that if I got it from behind, nopony else would get hurt."

"He said that your hastily formed plan was better than what he was planning to do."

"Princess Celestia, no disrespect intended, but where exactly are you going with this?"

"I have a task for you, if you're interested."

"Alright."

"Underneath Luna's old castle in the Everfree Forest, there is a system of caverns. I'd like you to go through them and find a magical object called the Dark Sphere."

'What is this... There's no Dark Sphere under my castle.'

"Why me?"

"You seem to be able to handle yourself in dangerous situations. Discord has told me that you would be immune to its effects because you're human. Unfortunately, just entering the cave is dangerous for ponies, myself included. Just walking inside makes me queasy."

"That sounds really bad." said Rainbow, "Is this a good idea?"

"I believe that destroying it will remove Nightmare Moon from this world."

I nodded.

'There's nothing underneath my castle but empty caves. Accept the mission. We'll see what's going on ourselves.'

'I don't know if I can. I'll try, though.'

"Alright. I'll see what I can do."

"Good." She gave me a map. "This shows the location of the cave entrance. I trust that you'll be able to do this."

"Yeah, I should be fine."

"Good luck."

"Yeah."

She gave me a nod, then left. Only one thing was left on my mind. "Where was she hiding this?"

"Dude, this Dark Sphere thing sounds really bad."

"Yeah. She said that if it got destroyed, then Nightmare Moon would disappear completely. The Elements of Harmony... Where are they?"

"Princess Celestia still has them."

"Alright. We'll probably be able to... use them. So Rainbow, you said you could introduce me to DJ-Pon3?"

"Yeah. We'll wait out here until she comes out."

"Alright."

About ten minutes later, she walked out of the door she went in earlier.

"Stay here."

"Alright."

Rainbow walked up to her. They started talking and she looked back, then did a double take. "What!?" She looked back again.

They talked a little more, then Rainbow waved me over. Cool.

"Hello. My name's Phil."

"Vinyl Scratch."

I looked at Rainbow.

"The other one was a stage name." she said.

I shrugged.

"You like the show?"

"Absolutely. I've never heard music like that before. I listen to a lot of dubstep, but the setup you have here made it phenomenal."

"Alright, a dubstep fan."

"Got that right. It's my favorite type of music. Your music is great."

"Thanks, man."

"Can you do something for me?"

"Maybe. What do you need?"

"I wanted to get a mobile device that can play music through headphones, and I figured that since you're an artist, you'd be able to help me."

"I got tons of those things laying around back home. I'll sell you one if you stop by."

"Sweet. I used to have one, but it's back home in another dimension or something."

"Bummer, man."

"Yeah."

"Listen, I gotta catch a train back to Ponyville."

"Same here."

"Oh really? Well, lets go."

We talked a little about music on the way back home.

"Man, I wish there were human songs here. There's a lot of artists back home that I really like."

"I kinda wanna hear some human songs, now. Are they any different?"

"Just different artists, but they're basically the same."

"So how did my music compare to yours?"

"Yours was pretty high up there, but it isn't #1. With dubstep artists alone... Probably top ten."

"Then I need to get better." she said.

"That would be so cool."

"I'm gonna make something way better than what I played tonight."

"You better tell me when you get done with it."

"You'll be the first to know."

"Aw yeah."

"I'm gonna call it a night."

"Yeah, alright."

I stood up, then went to the back of the train. I looked off of the balcony. Rainbow joined me.

"Yo Rainbow, you think that cave's safe?"

"If the Princess says that you can do it, then I'm sure you'll be fine."

"Good point. Would you?"

"Of course I would."

I looked at the moon. Nightmare noticed something briefly move in front of it. I couldn't locate whatever it was. It was too dark.

"Yeah. It's just that... Nevermind. When's the next show? Preferably one during the day."

"I don't know. I'll have to check. I agree with you on the day part. It was a little hard to follow."

"They should've thought about it more."

"Actually, this was kind of a last minute deal. They reused a few maneuvers from older shows. Vinyl wanted to do a show with them and both of their schedules were pretty tight."

"Alright... whatever."

I went back in and sat down.

'Nightmare, are you sure that there's nothing under the castle?'

'Positive. It's empty.'

'Hmm...'

'I don't trust Celestia.'

'Have you ever?'

'No, but this time, I'm sure she's lying.'

'I'll stay on my guard. You gotta watch my back.'

'Alright.'

Rainbow sat next to me.

"You look kinda worried. Are you up for this?"

"I think I'll be fine."

"Good. Don't get yourself lost down there."

"I won't."

She nodded. "You better come back. Pinkie's gonna cry if you don't."

"I can't have that."

"She gets pretty loud when she does. Well, night."

"Yeah."

She laid against my shoulder again and fell asleep.

So fucking cute...

Author's Notes:

ENEMY CHAPTER UPDATE INCOMING! IT'S OVER!

Just sliding in a little plot advancement here. Don't mind me.
This one probably could've been better. I like it, though.

Caves

I stopped by the hospital to see how Jeff was doing. Wait... that wasn't his name. Fluttershy was in the room with him.

"Hey, how's your wing?"

"It's alright. I got 11 stitches. They said that I could leave if I really wanted to, but this little angel said that she was too worried about me to let me leave."

"Oh really? Well, I just came to check on ya. I'm gonna do something dangerous later. I might even meet up with you in here tonight."

"What are you doing?"

"Celestia gave me this map and I've gotta explore this huge cave. No ponies allowed, apparently."

"Whoa..."

"It's gonna be fun. Probably. I'll see the two of you later. I gotta get going."

"Good luck, man."

"Be careful."

"Thanks."

I went to the Everfree and opened my map. After following it for a few minutes, I ended up at the mouth of a cave.

'We could get some ingredients now.'

'They can wait. I'm far more interested in this cave.'

'Alright.'

I turned the map over. It had a layout of the insides of the cave, and arrows told me where to turn. Nightmare took the liberty of memorizing it so I wouldn't have to keep pulling it out.

I pulled a flashlight from my pocket, and glanced behind me.

"Alright, no perks, no clothes, no problem. Lets do this shit."

The cave was fairly narrow for a while, and had a few little curves. It started getting wider, and I saw branching tunnels.

I walked slowly. 'Uh... Nightmare?'

'Yes?'

'I don't like it down here. It's... too dark.' I put my hand on the wall. I felt dizzy.

'Calm down. Get ahold of yourself.'

'Yeah, yeah...'

'Are you alright?'

'I'm ok. I think.'

'Good. Make a right.'

She gave me directions often. She was right, it was a maze down here. I'm sure that it took a full hour until even the smallest thing happened.

I heard a rock fall, and my heart jumped. "Holy shit... that scared the fuck outta me." I got in a few deep breaths. 'This isn't working. It'd be better if you were standing next to me.'

I looked forward again. The cave seemed to go on forever. I lost all track of time, and I was getting hungry. I'm always hungry.

I started seeing a light. It was coming from crystals embedded in the walls. They lit up the tunnel. I put away my light. It got almost daytime-bright.

I entered an old ruin. It appeared that some ancient civilization had tried to live down here before. Nightmare guessed that it had to have been at least 500 years since anypony had been down here.

"This reminds me of that one elf quest on Runescape. Within the light, I think. Man, that puzzle was fucking hard. I was stuck on it for days."

'What?'

'Just rambling. But it does remind me of it. Bright crystals. Underground ruins. Except in the game, there was a crystal-blocked entrance to a 12000 year old city called Prifddinas.'

I did some exploring. It wasn't like the game at all. That was actually a good thing. The monsters in that temple fucked my food supply up. If they were here, I'd be dead.

I found a closed door at the end of the cavern. The doorknob came off in my hand. It was locked, but I don't think that really mattered at this point. I tried pushing it, but it didn't open. I ended up kicking it open, and it came off the hinges.

Inside was a small, dusty room. A small dark orb was sitting on a pedestal in the center, with six pillars surrounding it. I walked in, expecting the door to slam shut. Then I remembered that there was no door.

I stared at the orb.

'I've never seen any of these things before. Where did they all come from?'

'That must be the Dark Sphere. Should I take it?'

'I don't know. It feels strange looking at it.'

I reached towards it. "I guess I should."

'What if Celestia was right, and I disappear?'

'I know that's not gonna happen.'

'Are you sure?'

'Positive.'

I grabbed the item. It easily came off the pedestal.

"Hmm... I expected something to happen."

I examined it. It was just simple a dark sphere, like it was called. It looked like it was made of glass. It was completely black, and perfectly circular.

I threw it on the ground, and it just bounced back up. I tried to catch it and missed, and had to follow it around the room. It didn't get a single scratch on it.

"What is this thing?"

'This was not here before.'

I pocketed the orb. It felt so cold.

"Well, I guess that's it. Is it?"

I looked around the room. Nothing out of the ordinary. Other than the room itself.

I left the ruins. There was a distinct lack of traps. Must not be that important of an artifact. Or it was cursed. One of the two. Or something else.

I kept talking to Nightmare. She didn't like it, but at least she responded. Kinda.

'Stop.'

'What?'

'This is different.'

'Huh?'

'Get out the map.'

I looked at the back of the map with her.

'We should be there.' she had me point at a point on it, 'We came through there on our way here.'

'I remember.'

'We're in a different part of the cave.'

'Oh, that's not good.'

'No, it isn't.'

'Should we go back?'

'Something tells me that won't matter.'

'What? Why?'

She studied the map, then gave me a direction. I couldn't tell where she was leading me anymore. Hopefully, the exit.

The instructions had little to do with the map, as far as I could tell. She kept it out and looked to it very often. I didn't recognize where we were going.

We ran into a dead-end. Nightmare looked over it again, grumbling. She told me to go back for a while, then take another path.

I saw another light. Daylight! I started running towards it.

'Stop!'

I made a sudden stop, just in time, too.

The entire world was upside-down! I looked up, or down, whatever. Grass was coming from there, but below my feet, or above them, was just sky.

'You would've fallen on your head as soon as you exited.'

'Thanks. How do I... wait, I got it.'

I stepped on the wall while I moved forward. A brief second of weightlessness later, my feet were planted on the ground.

"That was close." 'How long were we in there?'

'A few hours, I think.'

'Alright. Seems reasonable.'

I looked at the orb. It was boring. Was this thing important? It must've been, Celestia wanted me to get it.

I bounced it off the ground a few times.

'Hold onto it.'

I grabbed it out of the air and held it with both hands.

'It... makes me feel uneasy. I don't understand. If this was under my castle, then I would've discovered it. Those ruins were far too old for me not to notice. They were built in a very inhospitable area, more than a mile from any source of food.'

'Maybe they were hiding from something down there. Like Discord, or something before him.'

'Maybe. Celestia should know more about it. After all, she sent you down there.'

'Yeah. I'll save that for later. Nopony's by us. Lets find that deathroot stuff.

'Alright.'

I pocketed the orb again and walked through the forest.

She led me very deep into it, far past the castle. It started getting dark, and that wasn't just because the canopy got thicker.

The path was long gone, and it was very hard to traverse with just walking.

'Shouldn't be far, if my memory serves me right.'

'Alright.'

I pulled out my flashlight.

We entered a clearing with a very large tree in the center of it.

'That's it.'

'It better be. I'm starving.'

I walked to it and examined it. I was told that the sap was acidic, so I avoided contact with it.

'Deathroot... to safely take the ingredient, I'll need to take complete control of your body.'

'Yeah, alright.'

I felt myself grow cold as she took over. I couldn't move my body at all. That was fine with me, though.

She had some trouble moving to start, and almost dropped the light. My fingers were the only thing that really messed her up, but eventually she got it down.

She circled the tree a few times, looking at the root system. When she found a suitable one, she grabbed it, and pulled.

The other roots started moving towards me. She eyed them, pulling harder.

They lashed at me, and started wrapping around my arms. Wherever they touched started burning.

'Hurry!'

'I know!'

After a series of heavy tugs, it snapped free, and we flew back through the air, landing just in front of a tree. The roots that had attacked us slowly lowered back to the ground.

I felt sore. I could feel the root squirm in my hand like a snake. She held on tightly as it wrapped around my arm.

It wrapped under my sleeve. She got up and squeezed tighter. The grip on my arm loosened as if she was choking it. It stopped moving entirely.

She started panting. I got my body back, and almost fell to my knees.

'It would've been much easier with a knife, or a saw. I had to use my own strength to pull it free. Your body is so weak.'

'To be fair, I'm not immortal.'

'True enough.'

'That wasn't safe at all.'

I could feel a painful tingling sensation on my arm as the root dropped from it. I avoided looking down at them, partly because it was too dark to see anyways.

After an exhausting trek back through the forest, I arrived at her castle. The bridge was still out.

'You said there wouldn't be a problem.'

'There won't be.'

I felt a drain of energy, just like my first day here. The bridge was lifted from the abyss and tied itself together. I felt a huge drain of energy and almost fell to the ground.

'Nice.'

I slowly walked across. No sign that anypony came here since I left.

I was told to leave it in the basement of the castle. I just dropped it down the stairs. My hand was tingling.

Under the moonlight, I saw that my arms had burn marks all around them. It didn't hurt that bad anymore, but it didn't feel good, either. I'll have to treat it later. I'll just tell everypony I got it in the cave. Man, it would be so cool if it scarred up. It'd be like a freakin' tattoo.

Again, Nightmare took down the bridge. This time I dropped to my knees to rest a little before continuing.

She gave me a few instructions and led me to a pond.

'Dip your arms into the water. Wash them off. There's still sap on them.'

I quickly washed them off. The water was freezing. My arms went numb. I couldn't feel the burns anymore.

'Cool.'

'It may be a good idea to go to the hospital.'

'You said it would be safe! You better get it together. I don't wanna come back here missing a hand next time. I need two of those... for science.'

I headed to the hospital. It was quickly recognized as a chemical burn and I was given proper treatment. They wrapped my arms up and sent me on my way.

It looked so cool! I should wrap my arms more often.

I went to visit Dr. Taco again. He was still awake. Fluttershy had taken off already.

"Yo, what's up?" I said.

"Whoa... what happened to you?"

"Acid burns. I'll be fine."

"Why were you playing with acid?"

"It wasn't my fault. That cave is dangerous. So what about you? You taking off soon?"

"We decided I should get out tomorrow."

"Alright. Dude, you gotta take her out for an afternoon picnic. Doesn't that sound awesome?"

"It does sound pretty great. Are you sure?"

"If you're listening to my advice on this, then... Well, I don't always give great advice. I make suggestions. But a picnic! It's like... the best thing ever."

"Alright, sounds good."

"One last thing. It's like... important. If you wanna not screw everything up, of course."

"Yeah?"

"Fluttershy's... Fluttershy. Ya get me? You gotta be real slow with her. Rush it and you'll probably end up with nothing to show for it. Except a scar. Scars are cool. I got a scar."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I'll tell you that story later. It's not very interesting or exciting. Anyways, get better soon, bro."

"I will. Thanks."

I decided against going to Twilight's place and went back to the station to catch a train to Canterlot.

I bounced the sphere on the floor. "What is the point of this thing?"

'I don't know. I don't want you to keep it. If Celestia can't take it away, then we are putting it back where it came from.'

'Are you scared of it?'

'Of course not. Would this thing really remove me if it were to be destroyed?'

'There is no chance of that happening.'

'How do you know?'

'It just won't. Trust me on this. You and this orb aren't related.'

'Alright.'

I kept bouncing it like a baseball. It was tough, man. Why was it so bouncy?

"This is kinda fun."

I got an idea. I held the orb in my hands, and closed my eyes. I focused my thoughts on it, concentrating as best I could.

I felt so cold. I could feel my body freeze. It was like it was breaking through my mind. I was going numb.

It was drawing me in. I couldn't let go.

I felt myself toss it away, and I took a deep breath. I hadn't taken a breath since I started.

'That was a bad idea...'

'Are you alright?'

'Maybe. Thanks for letting go for me.'

'What in Equestria was that?'

'I... don't know.'

I retrieved and immediately pocketed it. It felt heavy now. I knew that it was very light, but it was pulling me down. It was weighing down my mind.

I sat down, scared of this strange artifact.

'We should've left it where it was.'

'Don't do that again.'

'Yeah... yeah.'

I fell asleep, waking up in Canterlot. I felt pretty tired. The weight seemed to be lifted from me. I pulled it out again, and bounced it around as I walked.

'Is that a good idea?'

'I don't know. It seems ok. I'll find out, I guess.'

The guards let me pass, and I went straight to Celestia. I held it loosely in my hand.

"Hello, Princess."

"Hello, Phil. Is that the Dark Sphere?" she asked, walking to me.

"Yeah."

"What happened to your arms?"

"I ran into some weird vines in that cave. When I got back out it still burned, so I took myself to the hospital."

She looked under the bandage, then replaced it. "What were you doing near the deathroot tree?" she asked.

"Huh? No, I got this in the cave."

"Those are deathroot burns." she said, "You only get them when you touch the roots.

"Well, I walked through the things in the cave. They were really squirmy."

"I didn't know that the root system reached that far."

"What's with this thing?" I held out the orb. "It's like nothing, but it's something."

She reached for it, but I pulled back. "Don't touch it."

"Why?"

I told her what happened on the train.

"Oh my goodness, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"I'm sorry for putting you through this."

"It's alright, Princess."

"Come with me. I want to keep this somewhere nopony can get to it."

"It would've been better off in the cave. A few hours worth of a cavernous maze is better than most defenses."

"It's better here."

"There were some weird things down there, too. Like... ruins of some old civilization."

"What?"

"Yeah. Abandoned buildings were scattered around the area I found this."

"There shouldn't have been anything down there. Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Strange. I didn't know about this."

"Is it bad?"

"I don't think so. At any rate, we must put that orb somewhere safe."

'I think she was telling the truth about the buildings, but she's hiding something else. Should I try to pry it from her?'

'Find out what she knows.'

"Princess... is there something you're not telling me?"

"What do you mean?"

"This was way too easy to retrieve. There were no traps. I think you're not telling me something."

"That's not true. I've told you what I know."

"I know you're lying, Celestia. I can hear it in your voice."

"That's untrue." She was right. She was a perfect liar. I most certainly couldn't tell.

"I know you're keeping something from me."

"I am not. I've heard enough of your accusations." She glared at me, then sighed. "Actually, you're right. You went through the trouble of getting it. I guess I can tell you. I sealed the Dark Sphere away in those caves years ago."

"Really?"

"Yes. Unfortunately, I was inexperienced in sealing it, and recently, it seems to be trying to free itself. Ponies cannot enter that cave, including myself. It was a mistake making the spells so powerful. I've tried to get through them, but it's been stubborn."

"And since I'm not a pony, you wanted me to get it?" I said.

"That's right. You've seen firsthand how dangerous it is. That's why I wanted to give it to Discord, so he can hide it properly."

"Alright."

'I'm quite impressed.'

'Thanks, but we didn't learn anything useful.'

I looked at the orb. "It's so dangerous. Why couldn't you leave it in there?"

"It's been giving off powerful bursts of negative energy, and they affected the world above."

"Did it really have anything to do with Nightmare Moon?"

"No. Nothing."

'See? I told you.' "Alright."

A very bright flash of light came from the orb, covering the both of us. It didn't last long.

"That was likely the burst of energy I mentioned."

"That felt weird."

I gave it to Discord, who made it disappear.

I spent some time with Luna and told her about what I did. She seemed somewhat impressed. I stayed in the castle that night, falling asleep in a chair in Luna's room.

I woke up in my room. I ate something small, and headed back to Ponyville with another hug from Luna. Much less awkward this time. I would've preferred the longer, more awkward hug any day of the week, though. Twice on Sundays. Twice any day, really. I'd hug Luna literally all day if I could. I'm sure we all would.

I went back to Twilight's, and we discussed the Dark Sphere. She had never heard of it before. I told her what Celestia told me, and she was relieved to hear that it was in a safe place.

I thought about going back there, but there wouldn't have been much point. I still had the map, though. I probably would eventually. I wanted to know more about those buildings.

I tried to see how Fluttershy and Lightning were doing. I had no idea where Lightning could be, so I just headed to Fluttershy's house. She wasn't even home.

Oh well. I still felt good about myself. I got something important accomplished. That's more than I've ever done in my entire life.

Author's Notes:

I think I'm getting the hang of this writing thing.

Most of this stuff is made up as I go along. Some was already written down, part of it was stolen, and the rest is total crap.

I had no idea where I wanted this to go when I wrote it in chapter 8. Sometimes when I write chapters, I add too much or too little and I post it without reading it over. Sometimes I mess myself up in an early chapter because I want to add something different in a later chapter. Oh well.

Camping

I went back to Applejack's farm every day. I spent less of the day there then last time and hung out with Pinkie Pie a lot. She was such a cutie.

I had a goal in mind at the moment. Vinyl said she'd sell me something, so I had to get more money. She was awesome. They're all awesome.

After a while, I went to her house. It wasn't that hard to find. It had a record on the door, and was blaring loud music. I tried knocking, but she obviously couldn't hear it. I waited until the song finished, and knocked again.

"One minute! I'll be right there!" she called. The door opened. "Oh hey, man. What's up?"

"Some stuff. Whoa... you got awesome eyes."

"Thanks. I guess."

"I didn't see them last time we... so anyways, I was wondering you were still selling that music thing,"

"Yeah, sure. Come on in."

I walked in her house. It was kinda cluttered, but otherwise pretty normal. An open door led to a lit up basement.

"So what did you have in mind?"

"I wanted a mobile music player with at the minimum 250 songs worth of storage with a headphone jack. And I'll also need either in-ear buds or closed-back circumaural headphones."

"That last one was pretty specific."

"I just wanted to sound smart. I very recently started looking into them."

"Alright, I can do that. Stay here, I'll get you something that I'm sure you'll like."

She went downstairs, and came back up with a pair of headphones around her neck and the device on her back.

"Here ya go. This one's a newer model, and these headphones are really great."

I tried them out, listening to some of the songs on it already. It had a nice sized screen, but wasn't a touch screen. It was a little like an iPod, but geared more toward music. Also... ponies had this kind of technology? When did this happen? Do they have computers, too? Could I use them? "Awesome."

"Thanks, I made those songs myself."

"Back home I had over 2000 songs on mine, and a lot of other stuff, and it still wasn't empty."

"Other stuff? Like what?"

"There was a lot of porn on it. Around 5000 pictures." For scientific purposes, of course.

"Holy crap! That's more than I have! Uh... I mean... that's a lot."

"So this can hold a lot of songs?" I asked, ignoring her comment. No shit it was more than she had. What do you think this is, amateur hour?

'Never say that again. It was entirely inappropriate.'

'Don't worry about it.'

"There's already a bunch on there. I used that for my own music, but I upgraded to something else."

"Sweet."

I paid her what she wanted for it. My bag was just about emptied. I would've happily paid double what she said. I love music so much.

I checked how many songs were already on it. 673. Nice. It was about 80% full.

"You ever make any songs with vocals?"

"Nope."

I shrugged. "Alright."

"Want me to?"

"If you want. I'm sure that if you make one, it'll be great. You're awesome." I looked through the songs. "I wish I could make music."

"It's easier once you get the hang of it. Wanna try it with my equipment?"

"Nah. I'd prefer learning how to use a violin or something."

"I have a friend who plays the cello. Her name's Octavia. She got to play at the Grand Galloping Gala, but I got the royal wedding."

"What's the Grand Galloping Gala?"

"It's this really prestigious annual ball that all the high-class ponies go to in Canterlot. Princess Celestia herself hosts it."

"Sounds fun."

"It's not. It's really boring. Rainbow and her friends trashed it last year. It was all over the news."

"When does it go on?"

"4 months ago."

I shrugged. "So you got a system down there?"

"Yeah. Wanna see it?"

"Oh yeah."

We both went downstairs. There was a lot more space down there than I thought there would be.

"Holy crap! That's a lot of speakers."

I looked at her sound system. Definitely the biggest I've ever seen.

"You like it?"

"This is amazing. Man, my dad would love being down here. Your system makes his look tiny. He loves music, man. He was the lead singer for the top rock band in our county."

"That's pretty cool."

"Yeah. His favorite type of music is dubstep. He loves all the bass. I do too."

"Are you a singer, too?"

"Not really. I only sing along to songs. And I usually mix a few words up even after I've listened to the same song over and over."

"Wanna try right now?"

"Not really. Man, I seriously wish I could show you some of our music."

"Same here. I feel like I'm missing out."

"Ah well. Nothin' we can do about that. Play something awesome."

"With pleasure."

She played a few songs, and they were fantastic.

I poked her near the end of a song. She stopped it and said, "What's up?"

"I gotta take off."

"Really? See ya later, then."

I put the headphones on. "You sure will. Danke. These will really come in handy."

I cranked up the volume so loud that other ponies could hear it. I just didn't care. I finally had music!

This was awesome. She was awesome. Everything's awesome. It's like I'm on something.

It wasn't late, but it wasn't early. I headed to Sugercube Corner. Pinkie always had something for me to do, be it delivering drugs or trafficking weapons. Normal friend stuff. Wouldn't it be hilarious if Pinkie was a mob boss? I'm pretty sure she already is. Solved that mystery.

Either Pinkie or Big Mac in my opinion. Big Mac would probably know how to run a mafia, though. I'd prefer him controlling the Equestrian mafia to Pinkie. She'd probably go crazy with power. That would be so funny. Probably.

"Hey Pinkie."

"Hello!"

"How you doing?"

"Pretty good. What about you?"

"I'm awesome." I gave her some money and she gave me a cupcake. I loved these cupcakes. Could I get these in powder form? Or maybe as an injection? "You're the best cook ever."

"No I'm not. The Cakes are the best cooks ever."

"Yeah, but you're Pinkie Pie, so you win by default."

"How does that work?"

"Magic." I waved my fingers at her.

"I guess you have a point there."

"What're ya up to?"

"Just normal stuff."

"That's normal."

"Hey, I was gonna plan a camping trip with some of our friends. We're gonna be away for three days. You wanna come with?"

"Sure. Where we goin'?"

"Rainbow said she had fun at Winsome Falls, but I wanted to go somewhere else."

"What about the Everfree? I've seen a few good places to camp in there."

"I don't know about that."

"Why so?"

"I'm bringing some little fillies with us, and we don't want them to get too scared."

"The Everfree's not scary."

"To you, it's not. You're a lot bigger than us."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Wait... What am I saying? Nightmare Night's coming up! The Everfree's a perfect place to camp. We can tell spooky stories around a campfire all night."

"Nightmare Night? That anything like Halloween? We get free candy and try to scare everyone."

"Sounds pretty much the same."

"Last year I put on my horse head mask and walked around with an open trench coat. I swear, my nipples got frostbite."

"If it was that cold out, you should've put on something else."

"Too late. Where can I get a sleeping bag?"

"Don't worry about any of that. I'll bring supplies for you."

"Really? Thanks! Alright, I gotta go."

"Hey, do me a favor. Tell Rainbow that we're camping in the Everfree tomorrow if you see her."

"Alright. See ya."

"Bye-bye!"

I looked to the skies for her, but didn't see her. It was late. She was probably already back home.

"Looking for somepony?"

"Oh, hey Rainbow! Pinkie told me to find you."

"What's up?"

"She's bringing a few friends to go camping tomorrow in the Everfree."

"Really? That sounds pretty cool. I'll be there."

"Sweet."

"How long are we gonna be out?"

"Three days."

She nodded. "Meet ya at Pinkie's tomorrow."

"See ya then."

I went back to the library. Pinkie said she'd take care of my stuff for me. She's such a little sweetie.

I grabbed a book on the Everfree. It was pretty short. Not a lot was known about it. I didn't learn anything new.

The words started getting fuzzy. I blinked a few times, but it didn't help.

'I must be sleepy. Guess I'll go in early.'

I went to bed, and woke up feeling a lot better. I went to Sugarcube Corner at about three. A huge tower of luggage was on a cart outside. Rarity was definitely here. Applejack, along with the CMC and Rainbow were here already.

"Hello, everypony."

"Hello!"

"Took ya long enough."

"And a fine how do you do to you too, Rainbow." I looked at Scootaloo. "Now, I've met Sweetie Belle and Applebloom, but I haven't seen you around."

"Name's Scootaloo."

"I'm Phil. I'm a human, if you were wondering."

"This guy's tough, Scootaloo. He took down a manticore with his bare hands."

"Whoa!"

"Hearing it out loud like that makes it seem so much cooler." I said.

"Alright, are we all ready to go?"

"I am."

"Same here."

Pinkie gave me a backpack full of supplies. "Alright, Phil. Lead the way."

"Huh?"

"You said you saw some great camping spots."

"Oh yeah. C'mon. You mares wanna go deep into the forest or stay near Ponyville?"

"Lets just keep near the town for now."

"Alright."

"Hey Phil, is the Everfree actually safe?"

"I'd like to know as well. I can't have my darling little sister being put into danger."

"It's pretty safe. There's a few things that could spring out at us, though, but it'll be easy to keep them away from you all."

I led them to the forest. We paused before we walked in. There was a nice clearing that we could stay that was fairly close to here, so I brought everypony there.

"Is this place good? There's a better one further in by a river, and a few more elsewhere."

"Lets make it to the next one and set up camp. Sound good, everypony?"

They all agreed. Except Rarity, of course.

We trudged through the forest some more. Eventually, we made it to the clearing I was talking about.

"Is this part of the Everfree safe?"

"I didn't see anything around here." I replied.

"This is a great place. Good job."

"Alright everypony, lets get to work. These tents aren't setting themselves up."

"Au contraire, Applejack." said Rarity as her enormous tent unfolded itself.

I looked up at it. "Cool."

"Well, our tents won't set themselves up."

I dropped my pack. "I'll get some firewood."

"I'll set up the other stuff." said Rainbow.

I went into the woods to gather loose branches and stuff. I came back a while later, arms full. I went back for another load, and put it on the pile. Applejack started the fire.

The tents were already set up, and there were a few log seats set around the fire.

"Man, this is awesome." I said.

"Just wait until it gets darker out. That's when the real fun starts." said Rainbow.

"Who wants marshmallows?" Pinkie asked excitedly.

"Was that a rhetorical question? Pass 'em around!"

We started cooking the little delicious snacks on sticks. Pinkie got out some graham crackers and chocolate.

A while later, after it got dark, Rainbow started telling a scary story. It was about a few campers in the Everfree Forest that were never seen again.

I listened to every word, but it was hard getting scared when you're dealing with the weak sauce these ponies served.

The fillies screamed when she finished.

"What?" she asked me.

"Huh?"

"No reaction? Wasn't that scary?"

"Not really, no."

"Well then you tell a story."

"Hmm..." I quickly thought of one. "Alright." I changed my voice to sound more serious. "A pony visits a hotel for the weekend. He's told where his room is, and walks to it. No biggie, right? That's what he thought. That was until he saw the room next to his own. It had planks nailed to it, and caution tape all across it. It had a blank space where the number should be. It's like that room was skipped over entirely. He thinks little of it. During the night, he hears loud moans coming from the room, and is unable to sleep. He pounds on the wall until finally, the noise is silenced."

They were getting interested in the story.

"The next day he asks about the room. The receptionist tells him that the noises had always come from the room, but nopony knows exactly what it is. She tells him stay away from it, and to never try to look through the keyhole. He follows her instructions and goes back to his room. The moaning comes back, louder this time. Again, he pounds on the wall, and it stops."

I was pretty good at this.

"The next morning, against the wishes of the receptionist, he gives into his curiosity and looked inside. It was a completely normal room. It looked exactly like his. There was one difference, though. In the corner, there was a mare whose coat was completely white. She was sitting on the ground, leaning her head against the wall, facing away from the door. He stared in confusion for a while. He almost knocked, but decided that it was best not to. He crept away from the door and walked back to his room. The next day, he returned to the door and looked through the keyhole again. This time, all he saw was red. He couldn't make anything out besides the bright red color. At this point he decided to consult the mare at the front desk for more information. She sighed and asked if he had looked. The man told her that he had and she said that a long time ago, a mare had died in that room, and some ponies say that she still haunts it today. This mare was very strange. She was white all over, except for her eyes, which were bright red. His heart skipped a beat upon hearing this, and he rushed back to his room for his things."

They were pretty scared.

"The door slammed shut behind him, and he slowly turned around. The last thing he saw... was a bright red light."

I ended the story with a very dramatic tone.

The fillies screamed loudly and clung onto the ponies next to them.

"Now that's a scary story." said Rainbow.

It was the best I could think of that was still pony friendly. Most things that scare me deal with a lot of death or something like that.

"Well... I think that's enough for tonight. I'm gonna hit the hay."

"Yeah, me too."

I kicked some dirt over the fire and put it out.

"In here, Phil." said Pinkie.

"Alright." I joined her in her tent. "Camping is fun."

"You got that right."

I laid in the bag Pinkie got for me. It was a little short, but it did the job.

I waited for a while in case she wanted to say anything, then I put on my headphones.

When I woke up, I felt really weird. I rubbed my eyes with my... hooves.

"Ahh!" I yelled out in surprise.

Pinkie woke up with a startled yelp. She looked at me, then screamed.

I panicked and bolted from the tent, tripping over myself in the process. I looked at myself. I was a pony!

"What's going on here? Why'd Pinkie scream? Who are you?"

"Uh... I-I... I'm Phil."

"What? You can't be Phil. Phil's a human."

Everypony had walked out of their tents and were staring at me.

"But... I am Phil."

"He sure sounds like him." said Applejack.

"I think it's really him." said Pinkie.

"Well, if you're Phil, then prove it." said Rainbow.

"How am I supposed to do that? Tell you another scary story? You know it's me, Rainbow."

"Yeah, you're Phil."

"What happened to you?"

"I don't know. It's not like I was planning on becoming a pony. This feels weird. Hey Rarity, can I get a mirror?"

She gave me one, and I looked at myself.

Tan coat. Messy brown mane. I looked at my now gigantic eyes. They were still blue, but had a brighter color to them, closer to Nightmare's eyes than my own. A horn protruded from my forehead. I was a unicorn. Cool.

"I look exactly how I pictured myself as a pony."

I looked at my new flanks to see my cutie mark. I didn't even know what my talent was, so I didn't know what to expect. "A moon? Crescent moon. Weird."

I liked astronomy, but I certainly wouldn't call it my special talent. If anything, it'd be about video games or something. Really, it wasn't even that important. I wasn't gonna go on a soul-searching quest to find out there was a moon on my ass. Probably had to do with Nightmare again.

I practiced walking around on all fours. It was pretty easy to get down. I felt incredibly light and full of energy.

"Should we go back to Ponyville?"

"We don't need to." I replied, "Who cares why or how this happened, huh? Lets get packed up. There's a cave in that direction we could stay in, or there's another big clearing over there. I haven't been to the cave yet, so it's probably got a dragon in it or something."

"Wait, so you don't care that you're a pony?"

"No. I'll care later. We're camping. Camping isn't a time for caring. It's a time for fun. I'm gonna go make sure it's safe. You all get stuff ready."

I walked ahead of them. The trail got a little tight up ahead. Rarity's stuff might not fit through. I decided to match the episode and walked to the cave.

"Anypony in there?!" I called. Nothing. Cool. I looked around again. There was a pond nearby, and a whole lot of trees. Gee, I wonder why.

'Why have you been changed into a pony?'

'No idea. Maybe it was that sphere thing. Now that I'm a pony, I can use magic without that potion. If you could somehow channel your power into my spells, it'd be a lot easier to get stronger. Later, though. I'm camping right now.'

"Are you alright, Phil?" asked Pinkie.

"I'm fine. Why did you follow me?"

"I was worried. This kind of thing doesn't happen every day, you know."

"I believe you. I'm a pony now. I kinda wanted to be a pony. At least so I could know what it's like. It feels so weird. I don't have any fingers any more. There just gone. Oh well. Nothin' I can do about that. Seems safe over here. Lets go check out the other place."

We both walked over to the next clearing. Pinkie gasped. There were black scorch marks all along the ground.

"You think there's a dragon nearby?" she whispered.

"Maybe. Go back to camp and warn everypony. I'm gonna make sure it's safe.'

"Be careful."

I stepped out into the clearing. It smelled weird.

'This is from dragon's breath. A young one by the looks of it.'

I saw some dragon tracks nearby, and examined them.

'These are quite fresh. It may still be nearby. Follow them. It may lead us to a dragon's cave.'

I looked back to see if I was alone, then followed them. It led to another clearing. I could hear voices coming from it. I hid behind a tree and looked at them.

Those teenage dragons that picked on Spike were there, talking to each other. Two of them. Wait, wasn't there three?

I glanced behind me. Nothing. I turned back to look at them.

'What are they doing out there?'

'Wasting our time.' she replied, 'Only adult dragon scales will work. They haven't led us anywhere useful.'

'Alright. Lets go back.'

I went back to the campsite.

"Ya'll alright? What'd ya find?"

"Yeah, I'm good. There are a few dragons over there, so we're not going that way."

"I'm not afraid of a couple of dragons."

"Should we go back home?"

"Aw, I don't want to go!"

"Well, if we can get rid of them or at least make sure they won't bother us, then I guess we could keep going." I said.

"And just how are you gonna do that, little pony?" I heard.

"They followed you?"

I turned to them. All three of them were there this time. "C'mon, man. We didn't do anything." I said, "Could you please leave us alone?"

"Or what? You'll hug us?" They surrounded us. "Give us your things, and we'll let you leave."

"Thievery? Well that's not polite at all." I said, "Applejack, Rainbow Dash, you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Sure am."

"Lets do this."

"So it's a fight, then? Bring it on!"

The other two were facing their own dragon, with everypony else huddled together in the middle. I wasn't very skilled with fighting yet, and I was in a completely new body.

'Nightmare? You wanna take over? I might be able to do this myself, but it'll take a while.'

'I'll take care of this.'

My body went numb again. She cracked my neck, then jumped at him, delivering a series of brutal punches to his stomach. In just a few seconds, he was on the ground, holding his stomach in pain.

She grabbed his tail and hurled him at his friend, then jumped at the third and took him down.

The one that had been knocked down second got back on his feet. We stared at each other.

"Don't hurt me!"

He ran off. Nightmare looked at the two on the ground. They stared at us in fear.

"Leave!" she shouted. They both scrambled to their feet and ran after their friend.

I got my body back. 'That was awesome.'

'It was exhilarating getting to fight again.'

I looked at my friends.

"That... was pretty cool." said Rainbow.

"You think there's any more?" I asked.

"There might be. We should go back. It's too dangerous to stay here."

"Yeah, I guess this was a bad idea to begin with." I said.

"Aw, we were having fun."

"Sorry, Pinks. Oh well. We're decided, then?" I picked up my bag.

"Yeah. We'll try this out some other time."

We went back to Ponyville and went our separate ways.

I went back to Twilight's place.

"Uh... can I help you?" Twilight politely asked me.

"It's me, Phil."

"Wha... Huh?"

"Yeah. I got turned into a pony. Cool, huh?"

"How did this happen?"

"I dunno. Can you teach me how to use magic?"

"I... I guess I... don't you want to know why this happened, first?"

"Not really."

"Well... Ok. Start with these." She pulled out a stack of books. It was almost as tall as I was!

"Start..." I said, "This is a start?"

"That's right. If you study those, you should have the basics down."

'Hey Nightmare, I think I'll get more progress if you train me.'

'As you wish.'

"Alright. I'll get this down." I said.

"Good. Tell me when you've finished."

"I'd prefer doing this in silence. Can I use your basement?"

"Of course."

"Can you..." I gestured to the stack.

"Alright."

She picked the books up, and brought them downstairs for me.

"Thanks, Twilight."

"You're welcome. I'm going to inform the Princess about this."

"Alright. See ya."

She went back up and closed the door.

'Alright. Lets do this.'

Author's Notes:

Seems pretty good to me. Tell me what you think.
Also to the owner of the white Sedan, you left your lights on.

Nightmare Moon

Bump-bump-motherfucking-bump! Man, Vinyl was a great artist!

It's been a little while since we tried going camping. My friends all know that I'm a pony now. By far, Lyra gave me the biggest reaction.

We went camping again, this time in a much safer place. It was a blast!

I've trained my magic pretty hard. Normal, everyday spells came naturally. I perfected those really quickly with Nightmare's help. I haven't learned any advanced spells, yet.

I collected all the gems I needed and hid them at the castle. I was worried that the deathroot would be ruined after all the time it's been taking, but it held up pretty well. It even tried attacking me again when I picked it up.

There were a ton of these gems. Some of them were a lot harder to get than others. I got some of them from Rarity. Most of the others I dug up on my own. Some of the rarer gems were in the Everfree.

It's been getting pretty cold, so I asked Rarity if she could make me a hoodie. I always wore one when it got cold. In fact, I'm wearing one while writing this sentence.

It was a little troublesome to get it just right considering I wasn't a human anymore. If it was loose-fitting or too big, like I usually like my shirts, it would drag along the ground and get ruined. I couldn't have that. On a list of things that I couldn't have, that was one of the things that I just couldn't have.

It absolutely had to have a hood, though. That was the only thing that was necessary. It could've been yellow with purple polka-dots for all I cared.

Actually it was black. A black outer material with a grey inner layer, just like my favorite hoodie back home. It also had thumbholes in it, but since I didn't have any thumbs, I didn't tell her to put any in. Screw you all, thumbholes are cool.

As I already knew it would, it turned out beautifully. I put it on and gave Rarity a hug. I didn't even care if she wanted one or not.

And I got myself a pair of sunglasses which I just keep on my head. I was as close to my normal human Earth appearance as I ever could've been, given the situation. Sunglasses were cool.

I hung out in the Everfree a lot. Nothing better to do. I always wore my headphones when I walked around. It was glorious. Either they were around my neck or over my ears.

'It's been a while since I've made an appearance.' she said to me, 'I think it's about time to give these ponies something to fear again.'

'Oh yeah?'

I felt a huge drain of energy. The sky darkened as she appeared in front of me. I could feel that she still had a small hold on my mind.

She looked at herself. "I'm... reborn."

"Yeah, that's great." I said without feeling, "Do whatever the hell you want. You know damn well that I can't do anything about it."

"I'll be right back."

"Yeah, yeah."

I laid on the ground and closed my eyes, putting my headphones on. There's my excuse.

One song... two songs... six songs... four songs... ten, 15, 12, 20...

I lost track of time, and lost count just after the second song.

I felt somepony shaking me. I opened my eyes to see Twilight's worried face.

"What's wrong?" I asked, pushing back my headphones.

"There's a big problem. Nightmare Moon just threatened Ponyville!"

"W-wait... what? Nightmare Moon?"

"Get up! We have to go, now!"

"What? Why?" I got on my hooves.

"We have to protect the town."

'She's still there?' "A-alright."

We both ran back to town. The sky above it was black. We approached Nightmare, who had a smile on her face.

"What are you planning to do, Twilight Sparkle?" she asked.

"We're going to stop you." she said.

"That's right!" said Rainbow, joining us.

The rest of the Elements lined up in front of her. Even Fluttershy showed up.

I gave off a sharp whistle. "Nightmare Moon, leave." I said, "There's no place for you in Equestria. Your time has passed."

"That's right!"

"Oh? Is that so? What if I refuse?"

She knew that she could stay here for as long as she wanted, and there was nothing we could do about it.

"Then we'll remove you ourselves." said Twilight.

"That's quite a boast without the Elements of Harmony."

"We don't need the Elements of Harmony to get rid of you again." said Rainbow.

"We beat you once, and we can do it again."

"Without your precious Elements, you're nothing." She used a spell to lift them all into the air. Everypony except me. She stared right at me.

"Put them down!" I shouted at her.

"Or what?"

"Or... or..."

"Or nothing!" she yelled, "What's wrong, child? Too scared?"

"Put my friends down!"

I fought her spell with my own, but got nowhere. She lifted me into the air as well, then dropped the others.

"I don't fear you."

"Oh?"

"You're just a pathetic little afterimage. If you're smart, you'll leave Equestria before you're destroyed for good."

Her eye twitched.

She threw me through the air, and I collided with a building. I fell to the ground.

"Phil!"

I stood back up, but didn't move, partly because it hurt to move at all. She walked over to me.

"Leave him alone!"

Nightmare rounded the six of them up with a spell, and looked back at me.

"I'm going to destroy you myself." I whispered.

I received a powerful blow to the face, and blacked out.

I woke up in the hospital. I could feel Nightmare's presence in my mind again.

'You'll destroy me yourself? If I didn't know any better, I may have taken that as a threat.'

'I don't care, Nightmare. I just do not care.'

I saw Nurse Redheart looking at me. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I think so. I feel sore." I had a few bandages around me, but there weren't any casts.

"You're lucky that all you got were a few bruises." she said, "Do you remember what happened?"

"I got punched." I sat up against the bed frame. "How long was I out?"

"A day."

"Is everypony else ok?"

"They're fine."

"Good." 'That was pretty fun. Did you have fun?'

'It was ok. I had a lot of fun attacking you.'

"Did you take care of me?"

"That's right."

"Danke ms doktor. Am I allowed to leave?"

"Princess Celestia has asked me to keep you here until she returns."

"Celestia's here?"

She nodded. "Yep."

"Alright."

"How old are you, if I may ask?"

"I'm 17. Why?"

"Well, you seem danger prone. Celestia told me that you were actually the human I've seen around Ponyville. You brought a blood covered pegasus here, and then you suddenly showed up with all those burn marks, and now this. The more we know about you, the better."

"Oh. Alright."

She asked me a few general questions about my health, like allergies or any sicknesses.

"Alright, good. You seem fine to me. Just stay here until the Princess returns. I need to care for other patients."

"Alright. Guess I'll see ya around."

"With what's been happening with you recently, I don't doubt that."

She left me alone in my room.

'Nightmare?'

'Yes?'

'I... I think I actually am scared of you.'

No answer.

'You made me feel so useless. I hate that. I hate it so much. Please don't do that again.'

'I'll make no such promises.'

'I thought you'd say that. Go ahead and try to cast eternal night over these ponies without me. You can't, and you know that. At this point, your chances of succeeding are dwindling. I don't remember if I said this before, but without a human, giving up will spare you an embarrassing defeat.'

I'm planning months in the future already. I've already gotten my entire journey mapped out in my head. I don't remember what I have for breakfast, or what day it is, but I know how to win.

And the best part, she knew nothing about my plan. Wanna know how I knew that she can't read my mind? She wouldn't willingly stay in my mind if she could. Any more detail and I wouldn't be allowed in Equestria anymore.

She remained silent.

'If I were to take a guess at what you were thinking right now, how close do you think I could get it?' I asked.

'You're a child. You don't frighten me. You're weak.'

'I'll never be your equal, Nightmare. Just as you will never be mine. Lets call it a truce. I have no intention of making you my enemy right now.'

I didn't care what she wanted now. I grabbed my music from a nearby table, and listened to it until the door opened again.

"Hello, Princess."

"Hello, Phil. Are you well?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"That's wonderful."

"Thanks. What happened?"

"I've been told that after you were attacked, Nightmare gave a display of her power, attacking Twilight and her friends. Thankfully, none of them were hurt. You were the only one to receive such a harsh beating."

I shrugged. "Did you bring the Elements?"

"Don't worry. They're here already."

"We can't do anything without them. We need some other way of protecting ourselves."

"Unfortunately, there are very few things that could help us."

"Very few?"

"Not many things have the power to even hinder Nightmare Moon, let alone stop her. She's very strong now, close to rivaling my power."

"What could stop her? Can you think of anything?"

"I... don't know. There may be something, but maybe not."

"Celestia, if there's a chance that I could keep my friends out of danger, then I'd do whatever I could to make it happen. Please... tell me something useful."

She looked uneasy. "At the moment... only one thing comes to mind. It's a rumor at best. I can't guarantee that it would be true."

"Tell me."

"There's a gem, far north in the Crystal Empire, called the Ancient Gemstone. It's said that it possesses magical powers that rival the Elements of Harmony."

"Really?"

She nodded. "It's said that the caves that it reside in are vast, much larger than the one I sent you into. I've never found any records of its discovery, nor of its location. I've always believed it to be just a rumor."

"That's good enough. Danke." I got out of the bed.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Maybe practice magic some more. If I'm unable to keep her from my friends, then what use am I?"

"Don't say things like that. You're more useful than you think."

"But... I'm not, am I? If I had power, real power, then I could've done something. Right now I'm useless."

"You are not useless."

"I don't know."

"Hey, tell me if you're going north. You'll need all the help you can get."

I went to Twilight's house, thinking about what I could've done differently. Celestia was probably right, but I still felt useless. I didn't like feeling like this. It left a knot in my gut, and it made me depressed.

She rushed over to me. "Phil! You're ok!"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I was so worried about you."

"Yeah, well... st... Hey, Twilight?"

"What's the matter?"

"Am I... useless?"

"Of course you're not. Why would you think you were?"

"When Nightmare Moon attacked you, I couldn't do anything. At all."

"That doesn't mean anything. I couldn't do anything either."

"I know. I just didn't like seeing you and everypony else like that."

"Hey, it's alright."

"Yeah, I know it is."

She wrapped her arms around me. "Cheer up. I'm ok. You're ok. Your friends are fine."

I returned the hug. "Thanks."

After a little while, she pulled away. "Better?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

"Hey, do you think you could teach me some more advanced spells, now?"

"Well, it all depends on what you want to learn."

"There's one spell I've set my sights on ever since I saw it. Teleportation."

"That's quite advanced."

"You can do it, can't you?"

"Of course I can."

"Show me."

Her horn glowed, and a bright flash of light covered her. She reappeared a few feet away.

"Whoa..."

She gave me a book.

"Read that."

"Thanks, Twilight."

I opened the book, deciding that I wouldn't rely solely on Nightmare for this one.

I read through it more than once, studying it in and out. It stated that beginners would have a lot of trouble, but it would eventually get easier.

After I was sure that I was good, I discussed how to do this with Nightmare. After about a half hour of non-stop discussion, I talked to Twilight again.

"I think I got it."

"Really? Alright, show me what you've learned."

"Alright." I tried to cast the spell, but nothing happened. "What the..."

I tried again with no results.

"Don't strain yourself." said Twilight, "You're not going to get these on your first try."

"It's harder than I thought."

"That's why it's advanced."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Keep trying. I'm sure you'll get it. You mastered a few of these spells faster than I did."

"Thanks. I'll get it down. I think I'm gonna go hang with Pinkie or Rainbow or something for a while."

I gave her a big smile, then took off. Man, these ponies always knew how to make me happy. I should do something nice for her sometime. Maybe I'll get her a nice dinner.

I went to Sugarcube Corner and got some heroine and/or cupcakes.

Oddly enough, I didn't feel up to hanging with Pinkie right now. It just felt weird. Even though she made me feel awesome, I took off pretty quickly.

"Weird..." I muttered to myself.

Must be all this stuff that's going through my head. I couldn't focus on happiness right now.

I didn't know what to do, so I wandered around town.

'Have you ever heard of the Ancient Gemstone?'

'No. Will that stop you from pursuing it?'

'No.'

I put on my headphones. I was bored again. I shook my head.

'I'm having a hard time determining where you truly stand. With the incident in Ponyville, and the talk at the hospital, I'm more confused than ever. I can't tell with you.'

'I trust you. But that trust has its limits. I consider you as both a friend and a foe. Some day, we'll face off. You and I will be pitted against each other for a final bout, and when the smoke clears, just one singular being will be standing over the other. We'll be connected no further. I can predict each and every little thing, except one. The true outcome of that battle. Until that point Nightmare, we're friends. I'm willingly going along with you. For power. For fun. Equestria is completely at my mercy. And I... am at your mercy. I'm a servant. I can never hope to match you, no matter what kind of gemstone I acquire, what kinds of spells I learn. I'm nothing to you. I know my place. Do you know yours?' Whoa, unexpected speech.

'My place is in Canterlot, ruling Equestria.'

Another cave

"Ancient... gemstone..." I said to myself, "Other than a lack of a map, how is this any different from the Dark Sphere?"

'It isn't at all, it seems.'

"Huh... Twilight? Twilight. Hey, Twilight."

"Hmm?" She ignored me and continued reading her book. I waved my hoof over it. "What is it?"

"Princess Celestia told me about this... thing called the Ancient Gemstone. Have you heard of it?"

"No, I haven't."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"She said that it's as powerful as the Elements of Harmony."

"Wow..."

"Yeah. I wanted to try to find it, but there's no information about it. She said that it may even be fake."

"Are you going treasure hunting?"

"I was planning on it."

"Alone?"

"As if. I'm not that brave."

"Sorry, but I can't come with. I have a lot to do. The Princess..."

"Well, good luck with that." I said, "I'll take Rainbow. She'll go."

"I think she's with Pinkie Pie right now. Be careful."

"Careful is my middle name. I'll see you later, Twilight. I need to get some things."

I got a bag and headed to the store, grabbing a few snacks. You think I'd go somewhere without snacks? You gotta be slapping a marsupial if you think that. Are you slapping a marsupial? Oh... Ok.

After putting them in my bag, I went to Sugarcube Corner. Sure enough, they were both there.

"Hey girls."

"Phil!" said Pinkie.

"What's going on?" asked Rainbow.

"Ya wanna go on a treasure hunt?" I asked, "Like a real treasure hunt, with a cave and everything."

"Treasure hunt?" she asked, "That sounds like it'll be fun."

"Oh-oh! I wanna go! I wanna go!" said Pinkie, bouncing around.

"Alright, you can come too."

"Aw, but I can't." she said, "I have to fillysit the cake twins today. Oh well."

"Bummer."

"Where are we hunting?"

"It's all the way in the Crystal Empire up north."

"Oh... wow... I can't get off work for that long. You're gonna have to find somepony else. Sorry."

"Oh, really? That sucks. Oh well. Somepony's bound to join me. Well, I'll see the two of you later."

"Bye Phil!"

"See ya."

I took off, thinking about who could join me. I can only keep myself calm for so long, even with Nightmare's encouragement. If I went for this alone, I'd probably go mentally insane. Worth it, though.

The rest of these mares weren't the exploring type, so I ruled them out. I didn't really know anypony who would come with.

'I could... take Shining Armor maybe... Hey, wait a minute... Lightning Dasher! That crazy guy went into the Everfree for a flower! I could take h... God damn it, where the fuck is he?'

I sighed, then I went to Fluttershy's house. She probably knows where he is.

Luckily, he was already there.

"Hey dude! What's up?"

"Oh, uh... Nothing."

"Alright, cool. Hello, Fluttershy."

"Hello."

"I still can't get over you being a pony." he said.

"Yeah, me either. Hey, you wanna help me with something?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"Celestia told me about this thing and I wanted to go look for it. I'll be gone for a few days, and I needed somepony else to come with."

"A few days?"

"Well, first we gotta go to the Crystal Empire. Prolly gonna talk to the Princess."

"Aw, sweet. Yeah, I'll come with you. This happening now?"

"Yeah. Well, first I gotta tell Celestia that I'm going. I'll just send her a letter. C'mon."

"Alright. I'll see you later, Fluttershy!"

"You two be careful."

"Yep."

"Of course."

We went to Twilight's place.

"So what are we looking for?"

"It's called the Ancient Gemstone. It's really powerful."

"Why?"

"'Cause it's cool. We gotta go through this gigantic cave, kinda like what happened last time."

"You got hurt last time."

"Yeah, well I'm not gonna get hurt this time. You still in?"

"Yeah."

"Suh-weet."

"Hey Spike, can you write a letter to Celestia for me?"

"Yeah, sure."

He got out a quill and a scroll.

"Tell her that me and Lightning Dasher here are going north to look for that gem."

"That's it?"

"Yep."

"Alright."

He wrote a few lines then sent it.

A few minutes later, we received a reply.

He handed it to me.

"Well that's nice of her." I said, pulling two train tickets from it.

"What's it say?"

"She said that Princess Cadance would be providing us with some exploration supplies. Damn straight. Well then, we better get goin' then. Thanks Spike. Lightning, you got a jacket?"

"No. I should get one."

"You go home and get something warm. I'll meet you at the station."

"Alright."

We caught our train, and sat next to each other. He had a bag with some things in it. Probably some cocaine or meth or something. Or maybe a jacket and a hat. Maybe. Either or.

"You alright?" I asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Your wing."

"Oh. It doesn't hurt anymore."

"Lemme see it." He turned so I could see where he got attacked. "Whoa... Cool. Man, you're lucky it didn't sever a muscle or anything. You need those things."

"Yeah I am."

"So how ya doin' with Fluttershy?" I asked.

"It's ok. I took her on a picnic like you said."

"And?"

"She really seemed to enjoy it."

"Alright, cool. I love it when things turn out."

"Hey, you gonna be ok with just a hoodie?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I went all last year with my old hoodie. I didn't wear a winter jacket once. I went outside at midnight in the middle of winter with that thing. Even when we got two feet of snow. That I had to shovel all on my own. Seriously, I had to shovel two feet of snow over... I think it's... 100 by... 10 feet. I... think. Long story short, my back hurt afterwards."

"That's a lot."

"It's gonna start snowing here soon. It's goin' get chilly. I love cold more than hot because you can just put on more layers. When it's hot, you can only take so much off, and ponies don't even wear clothes."

"I guess."

I got out my music. "Wanna listen?"

"Sure."

I gave him the headphones and turned it on.

"Hey, this is pretty nice. Who is this?"

"Dj-Pon3. Awesome artist."

The next day, we went to the castle. It was pretty cold already, but it didn't bother me much.

We were both looking around in awe. This place was beautiful, and the castle was absolutely awesome.

We were directed to the Princess when we arrived.

We both bowed to her. I got up first and said, "Hello, Princess Cadance."

"Hello. You must be Phil. My husband has told me so much about you. And you're Lightning Dasher, aren't you?"

"Y-yes." He cleared his throat. "Yes, Princess."

"You don't have to be nervous. It's quite alright."

"Calm down, buddy. Is it your first time meeting a Princess?"

"Actually... yes it is."

"Yeah... You never get used to it. Celestia said that you had supplies for us?"

"That's right. However, you probably shouldn't do this right after you just arrived. You should stay a while and rest beforehand. I've had rooms prepared for you already."

"Thank you, Princess."

We were shown to our rooms, then we met up again.

"I don't get how you do that."

"Do what?"

"Just... talk with the Princess like that."

"I just act like they're normal ponies because for the most part, they are. I can usually tell beforehand if somepony is cool with me acting normally as opposed to all fancy. Can you imagine me being fancy? It's sickening."

"I... guess. It just doesn't seem right to me."

"Yeah, well it's probably because I'm a human."

He shrugged.

"Don't know about you, but I'm too excited to rest. I saw a snowy patch to the north of here. I'm gonna start looking there. You coming?"

"Shouldn't we stay here for a while and rest like she said?"

"Well... not necessarily. I'm sure she won't mind if we take off. Regardless, I'm not going if you're not."

"Y... yeah, I'll go."

"Sweet. I'll tell Cadence. You wait outside with our things."

I went to her again.

"What is it?"

"We're going out early, Princess."

"Early? You should rest first."

"It's fine."

"That's not very wise."

"Yeah, well I'm not very wise either. Thanks again for the supplies."

She put her hoof up and was about to say something, but changed her mind. "Alright. I hope that you'll return safely."

I bowed my head, then left.

We walked north. It started to get breezy, making it even colder. Lightning put on his jacket and some other cold weather gear.

I put up my hood.

It was quite an abrupt change from grass to snow, like the ice and grass kingdom on Adventure Time. Well, former ice kingdom at least.

We walked across the snow. I pulled out some sunglasses and gave them to him, then put on my own pair.

We looked back at the city. It seemed so different from here. We sure as fuck ain't in Kansas no more.

"Is this even safe?" he asked.

"You're asking that now? Of course it's safe."

"Do you even know where it is?"

"Nope."

"Of course you don't."

The sun was still shining, but there was so much snow.

'Nightmare, can you sense anything?'

'No, nothing.'

'Mmm...'

It was just a flat sheet of snow for miles, populated only by a few snow-covered trees and rocks.

"There's nothing out here."

"Celestia told me that even she thought it was fake. It's really important that we find it, Lightning. Nightmare Moon is back, you know that."

"Yeah. It doesn't look good for us."

"That's right. This thing is said to match the Elements of Harmony, and you know how strong those are, don't ya?"

"Yeah, I know."

"They didn't work before, and they might not work now. This thing will keep everypony safe if we can find it. Plus, it'll impress Fluttershy."

"We gotta find this thing."

"That's the spirit! Although... admittedly, this was a bad idea. We might get lost out here."

"I can still see the city."

'We're being followed.'

'Really?'

'Two stallions. Probably guards.'

'Lets ignore them. They likely won't bother us.'

"Lightning."

"Yeah?"

"Fly around a little and try to find something."

"Good idea."

He hopped into the air and hovered above me. He paused, then went up again, and started flying around. He came back down after a minute.

"Dude, I didn't see anything."

"Damn..."

"Should we keep going? You might be right."

"I don't know. Fly north for a few minutes and... wait... can you take up into the air?"

"That's... a little weird, but I guess I can."

He crouched down a little and I hopped onto his back.

He took off into the air, and I fell off instantly.

"Alright?" he asked after a little laugh.

"Yeah. I gotta hold on next time."

I got on his back again and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

"Alright, mush!"

"Yeah, I don't do that."

"Sorry."

He hopped into the air again, and we soared further north. I looked back one last time as the city disappeared under the snowy horizon.

He eventually landed back on the ground. The snow was deeper out here, and it was hard to walk.

'Anything?'

'There may be something just a little further ahead. I think I can sense something.'

"Just a little further, Lightning. I can feel it in my gut."

"I hope you're right."

"I'm always right. It's getting colder."

"You should've brought something else."

"Eh... I'll just complain about it for a while and get over it. I always do."

'Stop.'

"Lightning, stop."

We stood where we were. Nightmare started casting a spell. The snow around us started to melt, revealing the ground below us. There wasn't any grass, just mud. I looked at the ground, and saw a small rock.

'Step on it.'

I pressed my hoof against the small stone. It went into the ground.

Nothing happened for a few seconds, then the ground started to shake.

"Whoa!"

I crouched down, and he hopped into the air.

A portion of the ground started to open. When it was about 6 feet across, the ground stopped shaking.

We both looked inside.

"Is this the place?"

"If not, then somepony wasted their budget."

We jumped inside. I used a spell to light the cave like a flashlight. "From here on, it's gonna get really dark. Stay close to me."

"Yeah, alright."

"Lets go."

We started walking. It got darker and darker.

"Creepy."

"Yeah."

I looked back at him. I could barely see him at all. I got closer.

"Have you noticed that it's just gotten darker and darker in here? Even with the light."

"Yeah, it's weird."

I pointed the light straight down the tunnel. Something blocked it for a second. "What the... You saw that too, right?"

"Yeah, I saw it."

"I don't trust this cave." I said.

I shined the light on the walls. Just normal cave walls. "I'm starting to get the impression that there isn't even any treasure."

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch. You said that this place was huge. We probably haven't gone in far enough yet."

"Crap, what if it forks off somewhere?"

"We can split up."

"That's not a good idea. I don't think either of us are good with caves. Regardless... This is getting boring."

"Can't argue with you there."

I pointed it down and saw a drop that led deeper into the cave. The smell coming from it was terrible. "Finally, something exciting."

I saw claw marks on a slope going into the pit. I yelled down into it.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

"I don't just want to slide into a bear or anything. I'd rather have them up here than down there."

We heard some growls, then some claw-on-stone sounds. "We should back up." I said, putting my hand on his back and getting rid of the light.

A few creatures climbed out of the pit. I couldn't tell what they were in the darkness. We backed to the wall.

"Think they're timberwolves?" I asked.

"Maybe. I thought they lived in the forest though. This isn't good."

"At least you can fly." I said. I heard them walk towards us. "I'm gonna flash the light at them. When I do, fly down into the pit. I'll be right behind you."

"Alright."

I waited until the creature got closer, then flashed the light right in its face. The light disoriented it and Lightning flew to the pit. I jumped on the slope they came up and slid down on my back.

"Run!" he shouted, seeing them follow us.

I started running while he flew alongside me.

I stopped, staring back down the tunnel we came from.

"What are you doing?"

"No way I'm outrunning these."

'Nightmare, could you...'

'Fine.'

She put up a shield blocking off the entire tunnel. They all ran into it, and broke apart.

They reformed themselves, and stared at us.

"Those aren't timberwolves." he said.

I took a closer look. They were made out of wood, but they were too big. Too... cat-like. "We should go."

We backed off slowly.

"That takes care of that." I said.

"Good job, Phil. That was pretty close.

"Yeah. That was dangerous. Those... timbertigers were huge. I thought big cats didn't live in caves like this. Then again, I know nothing about the outside world. And... how did they get down here, anyways? We had to open a secret door to get here. I took one last look back. "Getting out is gonna suck."

"There's probably a secret exit. There always is."

"That would be awesome. My back kinda hurts."

We started walking again. It was still very dark. We stayed closer together than before.

"How long have we been down here?" he asked.

"I have no idea. Like an hour or something."

The tunnel started to widen out into a large, circular room.

"Still no light." I said.

We kept walking straight ahead until we reached the wall. We walked around the room and noticed that it was a complete dead-end.

"Aw, man. This was a total waste of time!" I said.

I heard a loud, sharp noise, and we both jumped.

I looked at what made the noise. Just a rock that fell off of the ceiling.

"A rock. Where did it come from?" I asked, looking up with the light.

It was pretty high up. I didn't see where it could've came from where I was standing. "Fly up there and try to find out where it fell from."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Ok." He jumped into the air and looked at the ceiling. "Nothing!"

"Aw man, that sucks."

He flew back down. "Now what?"

"I don't know. Lets keep looking."

I heard a loud cracking noise. "What was that?"

I looked up at the ceiling, and a rock fell from it and hit Lightning right on the head. He fell to the ground, and more rocks started falling. I quickly pulled him out of the way and picked him up.

"You alright?!"

I heard another loud crack, then the floor started to collapse. I tried jumping away, but failed miserably, and joined the rubble.

The fall wasn't long, but it was terrifying. I landed directly on my side and blacked out.

When I woke back up, everything was quiet again. My chest hurt like hell, And there was a rock laying on my arm. Lightning was laying down a few feet away from me. I got on my knees, holding my hoof over my side.

"Son of a..." I coughed a few times. "Mother fuckin'..."

I crawled over to him and pushed on his side a little.

"Lightning... are you ok?" I asked, unable to speak loudly. He didn't react to me at all. 'This ain't good.'

I looked over his head for any bleeding or injuries. I didn't see any, so I slowly rolled him so he was laying on him back. His breathing was normal, and he didn't look all that bruised up.

'Wasn't there... Oh yeah.'

I opened one of his eyes and shined the light in it. His pupil contracted instantly. I took it away and breathed a sigh of relief, hurting myself in the process.

"Oh man..."

I looked at my side. There was a hole in my thick hoodie, and blood was dripping out where my ribs were hurt. It wasn't life threatening... probably.

I shined the light around. It flickered randomly. All I could see was a single tunnel. I moved slowly and put Lightning on my back, then started standing up. The added weight painfully bore down on me, but I wasn't leaving him here.

"This fuckin' hurts." I breathed out.

It wasn't until I started walking that I fully realized what all happened to me. My arms and legs were all sore. It was hard to walk normally. I had cuts all over my body. I probably had a concussion. And to top it all off, there was no way that my rib wasn't broken.

I limped down the tunnel. I lost all track of how long we've been down here. Maybe three hours. Maybe a whole day. I don't know, I was knocked out. Don't look at me like that. I'm not under question here. Am I?

Lightning still wasn't moving. He didn't seem hurt, but getting hit like that wouldn't just leave somepony completely fine.

I reached a wall that signified another dead-end. Nothing else was here.

I pushed on the wall a little to see if it would open. Not a chance. I started beating it with a hoof out of frustration. All I ended up doing was hurting myself some more.

I laid him down on the ground, then sat next to him. Hopefully Twilight or Cadence would find us. If not, I just got my friend killed.

'N... Nightmare? Are... you there? Answer me... Answer me! An... s...'

Prison

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I noticed was that I had been moved. "Lightning?" I asked quietly. I looked around. He wasn't here. I was in a cell, with a cold chain wrapped around my leg. I sat up, a moderate pain coming from my chest.

My hoodie had been removed and placed neatly on the floor, my headphones on top. There was a bandage on my chest, my head, and my arm. The arm had a cast on it. I must've broken that, too. Guess I just didn't notice it. There were numerous bandages around my body, and there was a tube running into my arm from a bag that hung above my head. Must be painkiller. Alright.

'Nightmare? Are you there? Hello? C'mon, answer me. Where the hell are you?'

I couldn't sense anything from her, but she was there. It was like she was asleep. Maybe the medicine was keeping her out.

"He's in here." I heard from outside. The door opened.

I looked at who walked in. It was none other than the ruler of the changelings, Queen Chrysalis.

"Are you alright?" she asked me with a cold indifference.

"I... I guess I am. Who patched me up?"

"One of the doctors. Along with your friend."

"Was he alright?"

"He'll be fine. Your name is Phil, isn't it?"

"Y-yeah. I know who you are, too. I'm honored to be in your presence, Queen Chrysalis. I would bow if I were able."

"At least your mannerisms are favorable. Your friend acted very hostile towards me."

"I apologize for his behavior, your majesty. I trust that you understand why it would be difficult for a pony to remain calm in your presence."

"But you're not a pony, are you? You're human."

I nodded.

"You're allied with the ponies, though. You're a personal friend to Princess Celestia. Why aren't you hostile towards me, as well?"

"Well... the incident with the royal wedding hasn't affected me personally. I'm not going to make enemies where friends could be made in their stead."

"Friends?"

"That's right, Your Highness. I'd like to become your friend."

"Why?"

"I'd never want somepony like you as an enemy."

"But somepony like Nightmare Moon is perfectly fine? You seem fine with her as an enemy."

"Well, your motives are different from hers. She wants to create an endless night all across Equestria. But you... You're completely different. You wanted love. Nightmare Moon is more of a threat to Equestria."

"We're threatening as well."

"You're too cute to be threatening."

"Uh... thanks?"

I looked at my chest. "So... what happened to me?"

"Two broken ribs, and a broken arm."

"And my friend?"

"Nothing major. What were you doing in that cave?"

"We were treasure hunting, looking for something called the Ancient Gemstone."

"I've searched for it myself. It's a myth."

"Oh... oh well, I guess. One good thing came from this, though. I got to meet you. You're not evil at all, are you? You're a sweetie."

"I... am?"

"Well... you don't seem to be mean at all. If anything, you seem kind."

"It was never my intention to be kind."

"Can we go home, or are we staying here?"

"Both you and your friend are remaining here. Besides, you're too injured to move."

"Yeah, I guess. Could you let Lightning come here? He's probably freaking out right now. It'd be better if we were together."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Well it's not like anything's gonna happen. He's just one pony, and I'm not fit for action."

"Alright, I'll bring him here."

She left, returning with him after a few minutes.

"Phil!" He rushed to my cell. "Are you alright, dude?" He had a few bandages on him.

"Yeah, I think I am. Or, I will be."

She opened the cell door. "In, pony."

"C'mon, Lightning. Get in here."

"What?"

"You thought you were taking off? That's stupid."

He stepped into the cell, and it was closed behind him.

"So what's going on?" he asked.

"I... can't go home yet. I'm too injured."

"What happened to you?"

"I'm broken all over." I said, "Hey Queen Chrysalis... can you let him go home?"

"What? I'm not going without you."

"I won't let him go, either."

"C'mon... Keeping him here is useless. It's not like he knows where this place is. Just cover his eyes and drop him off outside of a city. You gotta get home, buddy. Fluttershy's gonna be worried about you."

"I... I can't leave without you."

"Too bad. Your Highness, you need to let him go. If somepony doesn't come back soon, they'll start looking for us. We were being followed all the way to the cave we came from by two guards. They already know where we are. He's gotta tell them that I'm safe."

"But you're not safe. You're beat up pretty bad and you'll still be trapped here." he said.

"I still don't want to allow him to leave."

"Chrysalis, can... can I call you Chrysalis?"

"You may not."

"Sorry. You need to let him go. Lightning won't say anything. Will you?"

"What? Not say anything? I can't just let them keep you here without anypony knowing where you are!"

"Trust me on this, buddy. Everything'll work out. Just keep your mouth shut about this place."

"A... a-alrght. You always seem to know what you're doing. I won't say anything."

"Promise?"

"Yeah."

"If all I have is your word, then you're not leaving."

"You won't just have his word, you'll have a hostage. A broken hostage that can't escape for at least a few weeks."

"You have a point." She kept silent for a few moments. "Very well, the prisoner may leave." She gestured to a guard.

I held my hoof out towards him, and he bumped his against it.

"Good luck, man."

I smiled at him. "See ya later, Lightning."

"Yeah... see ya."

The guard opened the door led him away.

"Now it's just you."

"Yeah. Don't worry. I won't give you any trouble. On the contrary, actually... I'd like to help you."

"Help? With what?"

"The ponies. Like I said before, your motives were different from Nightmare Moon's motives. If I can... I'd like to try to persuade you to befriend the ponies instead of attacking them again."

"Befriending the ponies?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. You don't need to attack them for their love. At the most, all you would need to do is ask. Even if you wanted their land or cities, you could just take them peacefully. If there aren't any hostilities, then you'll be free to come and go as you please."

"You're crazy."

"Says you, and several psychological experts."

"What makes you think that I would want to befriend the ponies?"

"No offense intended, but you're sure as hell not gonna take them over by force. The Princesses, Shining Armor, the Elements of Harmony, and Discord. They made him an ally, so why can't they make you one, too? You have nothing to lose at the moment."

I could see it in her eyes that she was considering it. "We'll discuss this another time. As for now, you'll remain here until you are able to move again."

I nodded. "I couldn't ask for anything more."

"In the meantime..." She gestured to a guard. "Fetch me Angelus." It's Latin for angel, if you didn't already catch it. I can't name things.

"At once, your majesty!" He quickly left the room.

"Have fun." she said with a dark tone to her voice as she disappeared out the door.

After a few minutes had passed, the door slammed open, and made me jump. I let out a groan as I agitated my wounds.

I looked up to see a changeling enter the room. She had a set of armor equipped.

She stared directly at me through the bars.

"Hello, ma'am."

"Hello... ape."

I paused for a few moments. "I'll give you that."

"I'm your guard, now. Keep quiet and sit still, and we won't have any problems. Get me?"

I gave her a quick nod. She grabbed a chair and sat on it, facing me. She watched me closely.

I returned her gaze. She was important, she took her job seriously, Chrysalis specifically asked for her, and her eyes...

I made a guess that she was the captain, but didn't ask. She said to keep quiet. Didn't matter.

We stared at each other for a long while. I started getting bored.

I glanced at my sweater. If I tried to grab it I would hurt myself. I couldn't use magic at all.

"C-can I ask a favor of you?" I said.

"What do you want?"

I gestured towards my hoodie. "The headphones on top of that. And the device in the right pocket. Could you put them on me?"

"Absolutely not."

"Please? I'll... I'll do something for you."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"I... I don't know. Just... something... sometime... I'll owe you a favor."

"A favor? I could ask you for anything I desire?"

"Y-yeah, I guess so. It's gonna have to wait until later though, because... Broken body and all. Just give me the... the things."

She opened the cell door and grabbed the headphones. She placed them on my head, and they slipped right off.

She tried again. I raised my hoof to adjust them and accidentally brushed against her. She violently pulled away.

"Thanks. Now... the other thing. In the pocket."

I grabbed the cord as she rummaged through it.

She gave it to me, and I hooked it up.

"Sweet, thanks."

I closed my eyes and listened to the music. B-e-a-utiful.

Two songs later, I felt something soft touch my chest. It was very light, and didn't hurt. I opened my eyes to see my guard touching my chest, fixated on it.

'What... the hell is she doing? She better not be trying to hurt me.'

She turned her head, and placed it against my chest. I saw her mouth move, but couldn't hear anything because of the headphones.

I was too lazy to move them. It felt kinda nice, actually. Her head was warm pressed against me like this.

She pulled back, and finally noticed me watching her. A blush covered her face, then she got angry. She pushed against my neck with a hoof and barked something at me. I just gave her a nervous nod, unable to hear anything she said.

She walked back out of the cell, locking it up, and she sat back in her chair, a light blush still showing on her face.

If she had pushed just a few inches lower, I'd be in severe pain right now.

'That... was weird. Whoa... realization. Really lucky I'm on painkillers right now. That could've been both inappropriate and embarrassing. Nightmare Moon, get your lazy plot out of bed!'

Speaking of bed, I realized that I had gotten tired. Just sitting here is really exhausting for some reason.

I put my good hoof on my bed and slowly lowered myself to my side. I turned off the music. I didn't bring the charger with me, and it didn't last long enough. I had to stretch it. I'm gonna go crazy here.

I glanced at her one more time before going to sleep.

I was staring at Angelus again. She didn't move much. Sometimes Chrysalis stopped by, but rarely said anything. A nurse came by every once in a while, too. I had no idea how long I was in here.

Suddenly, everything went silent. I looked around confused, before finally realizing what happened.

"No." I looked at my music player. Dead. "Mother fuck..." I said to myself. I almost tossed it away, but couldn't risk it breaking. I had healed enough so that it didn't hurt when I put it onto my sweater. Now what?

I stared at her again. I met her eyes. She glanced away. She seemed different somehow.

"Angelus, I'm bored..."

"So what?"

"Find me something to do."

"I'm not your servant."

"Come on..."

"Quit whining."

"Please?"

"No."

"Alright."

I laid down again. I wasn't just bored, I was trapped.

Time went by slowly. It seemed like days before anything happened. The only thing I could hear was the sound of Angelus breathing.

The door opened, completely surprising me.

"Your Majesty!" I said happily, getting up.

"You seem quite happy to see me."

I nodded.

"I'm only here to check on you."

"I'm fine, but we need to talk about something."

"Is that so? Angelus, you may leave."

"Thank you, Your Highness." She left the room.

"I can leave now." I said to her, "I'm healthy enough, aren't I?"

"Of course you are. We just aren't going to let you."

"Yeah... That's not the only thing I wanted to talk about."

"You wanted me to try to befriend the ponies. I've given it a lot of thought. I'm not going to promise you anything."

"That's... it's a start. But... they aren't just going to let you walk into their cities, are they?"

"You trust me, but they don't."

"Yeah."

"I don't think I trust you, though."

"Fair enough. If that's the case, then... can I give you a suggestion?"

"If you wish."

"You can disguise yourself as a pony, and come with me. You could get a firsthand look at them. Even before you decide for sure what you want to do, you could observe them. And even if you don't want to be friends, then you could use this opportunity to spy on them."

"I suppose that you have a point."

"You can even bring Angelus or something. I mean, if you get found out, then it'd be really easy to escape. The ponies aren't very dangerous to you, except maybe Celestia, but you can just avoid her."

"Not Princess Luna?"

I shrugged. "If I ask, I'm sure Luna will listen to me. She trusts me more than Celestia does. I don't have anything against you. I'm not going to say anything. You're already good enough to fool Celestia on your own. If you come with me, then you could do whatever you wanted. You know you can't just keep me here."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"'Cause Twilight or Celestia or somepony else is gonna come find me eventually. There's just no avoiding that. Ponies don't leave their friends like this, and considering your track record, they're gonna find me."

"If you're trying to threaten me, you'll have to try better."

"It wasn't a threat. It was a warning. I don't care who ya are, the ponies can't just be ignored. They got all that friendship stuff. It's like magic or something." Toplel. "Yeah, all that power of friendship will get me out of here."

"It sounds like you don't believe in the power of friendship all that much."

"I don't, really. I mean, it's great having friends and all, but back home, there was no power of friendship, no magical forces protecting you at the last second just because you believe in your friends. That's... That's why I wanted to be friends with you. I wanted to make as many of you as happy as I could so I wouldn't have to be lonely if I didn't want to. I could always read with Twilight, or work with Applejack, or play with Pinkie... Chrysalis, I miss them."

"I told you not to call me that."

I gritted my teeth. "Yes... ma'am..."

I stood up and walked to the bars. "At least let me go. Let me go back to my friends. I just want to go back to them."

"Are your friends that important to you?"

"Yeah. More than anything."

"Show me how important."

I stared at the ground, and slowly got onto my knees. I stared to her hooves, and uttered a simple, "Please."

"So, you really do care for them. In that case... the answer is no."

I tapped my hoof against the ground.

"Are you angry? Do you hate me?"

I tried to lunge at her through the bars. She took a step back as I shouted at her. A small smile was on her face, mocking me.

I felt the tube pull out of my arm, and heard a loud metallic snap, then everything went black.

I woke up in a strange position. I was standing up, but something was off. I felt coldness against my arms and legs. I looked down them, and saw that I was strapped to the wall with thick, metal bands, with one around my stomach. I was aching all over again, and my chest was in pain.

'Phil.'

'Nightmare? Welcome back.'

'I should be saying that to you.'

'What... what happened?'

'You... snapped, for lack of a better explanation. I felt my power being drained by something, and woke up to find you outside of a cell. You broke out, literally. There was a band of metal around your leg, a broken chain coming from it, and two bars were bent far enough away from each other that you could've easily slipped through.'

'I ruined our chances of getting them to be our ally. Sorry.'

'We can discuss this when we get home.'

She casted a spell, and the bands were unlocked. I got up, and grabbed my things from the corner.

'What led to that?'

I told her what had happened.

'That's... cruel.' I could feel her emotions change a little. Compassion? Pity?

She unlocked the door to the cell.

I felt her reflexively cast a spell as one was fired right at me. Angelus began to attack us from down the hallway.

I felt nothing but hated towards her now. I slowly walked straight at her.

I could see her take a step backwards as she realized that her spells were useless.

A look of fierce determination spread across her face, and she let out a battle cry as she charged at me.

She was lifted into the air with a spell, and tossed into a cell, which Nightmare locked as we walked passed her.

She was shouting, but I wasn't listening.

Guards started to flood the hall, but Nightmare easily removed them.

I left the dungeon into the castle.

'Do you know how to get out of here?'

'No. But do you know who does?'

'Queen Chrysalis. Lets pay her a visit.'

She directed me down hallway after hallway, staircase after staircase, through guard after guard, until we finally made it to her bedchamber, where she was now.

We slammed the doors open, and saw her jump.

"How... how did you escape?!"

'Nightmare... wait. I want to do something.'

'As you wish.'

"Queen Chrysalis, I've escaped from your prison, defeated your guards, and have broken into your private bedchambers. Alone, and with one arm, no less. I'll give you one last chance to redeem yourself before I beat you senseless."

"Beat me? Ha!"

She tried a spell against me, but it failed.

"What the..."

"I'm willing to be a forgiving person, Chrysalis."

She fired another spell at me, but it simply glanced off Nightmare's barrier.

"You're not more powerful than I am!"

She was charging one more spell.

I walked towards her.

'I may not be able to block this. She's quite powerful.'

A few seconds later, she fired at me with an evil giggle escaping her lips.

I cast my own spell, teleporting me behind her attack, and right in front of her.

She looked down at me, almost in fear.

I stared up at her. "Forget it, Chrysalis. If you're going to act this way, then you don't deserve to befriend the ponies. Even before I got here, I wanted you to be my friend. And you know what? Even after how you treated me, and how you're acting now, my offer still stands."

"Wh-what?"

"You're going to come with me, whether you like it or not. I will drag you from this castle myself if I have to."

"B-but... how? How can you..."

"No matter how evil you are, how cruel you are, how heartless you are... it's nothing to me. Nothing. I am by far the most evil thing that you will ever meet. There's nothing that you, or anypony else, can say or do that will change that. We're going. Now."

She hesitated. Under any other circumstances, I would just be a bother to her at most. Just a pest. She had a glint of real fear in her eyes. She gave me a small nod, and finally, at long last, I was able to go back home.

Coming home

I couldn't hate anypony. Not even Chrysalis. Even after she toyed with me. Guess that's how I am... At least in Equestria.

"Which way?" I asked.

She took the lead, and led me through the snow covered forest we had emerged into from a cave.

I followed behind silently. I refused to say anything meaningful to her, but I didn't want her hurt. I didn't want revenge.

Her pace was slow to accommodate for my still-healing injuries. I refused to take any medicine that blocked the pain. It would just make Nightmare leave again. I was almost used to it by now, but it still hurt.

I almost giggled. I didn't want to take my meds because it would make the voice in my head go away.

I realized that I was being completely irrational. I was bordering on insanity.

My hoodie hung loosely off of my body, with the sleeve I wasn't using wrapped around my neck like a scarf. Engineering at its finest.

She stopped just as the trees stopped. I could see the Crystal Empire to the west of here.

"Am I your prisoner?" she asked quietly.

"I haven't decided yet. Change into a pony."

She gave a small nod, and was quickly covered in an emerald flame.

"Angelus, I know you're there." I called out behind us.

A white figure walked out from behind a tree, blending in with the snow. "How?" she asked.

"I didn't know you were really there, but I knew you would be there. If you want to come with, change into a pony, first."

"Do... do as he says." said Chrysalis.

"You're taking orders from him, Your Highness?"

I walked out of the forest. I didn't have to look back to know that they would join me.

The crunching of snow under my hooves was especially loud to me. It continued all the way to the city. The temperature didn't go up at all.

I didn't know how long I was gone for, but it was already winter. The beginning of it, at least.

I walked all the way to the castle, never looking back once. When I pulled my hood off, the guards recognized me, and let me through to see Princess Cadance.

"Ph-Phil? Is that you?" She rushed over to me. "Oh my goodness, what happened?!"

"Hello Princess. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"You've been gone for a month! Lightning Dasher said that you were alright, but he didn't say anything else. We were so scared."

"Thanks for worrying."

"Where were you?"

"I was trapped in a prison. Just a few hours ago, I finally managed to escape with these two mares."

They greeted the Princess as Arcana and Angelus. Chrysalis bowed, and Angelus reluctantly did the same. Chrysalis was a unicorn, and Angelus was a pegasus.

"Who was keeping you there?"

I looked back at Chrysalis.

"They... they were changelings, Princess." she said to her.

"That must've been awful. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

I just nodded. "I'd like to go back to Ponyville, Princess."

"Of course. And what of you two?"

"We're going with him, Princess." said Chrysalis.

Angelus sighed. "That's right."

"If I may ask... why?"

"He said that he would take us to see Princess Celestia."

"I... I'm going back to sleep. Thank you, Princess." I walked to the room that she had given me.

"He's not here. We can leave, Your Majesty."

"No, Angelus. We will stay here and wait."

"What? Why?"

"Well, he knows where we live."

She sighed.

"Princess, can we stay here, as well?"

"Of course you can. I'll show you to some rooms you can stay in."

"Thank you, Princess."

The next day, I felt different. Much happier. I was going home!

'Chrysalis is outside the door.'

I sighed. 'Alright.' I got up, and opened it. "What are you still doing here? I expected you to take off."

"I... don't want to do that right now."

"Where's Angelus?"

"Elsewhere."

"She's in here already, isn't she?" I grumbled. "You ruined my good mood."

She stepped out of my way as I headed to the kitchen. I got a light meal, and she did as well.

I said goodbye to Cadance before I left, and went straight for the train station.

"Shouldn't we wait for Angelus?"

"No. Why are you following me? You can just go home. Bye-bye. I won't bother you if you won't bother me. What do you want? And be honest, I don't have time for lies."

"Well... You have far more love than most others."

"Whatever, don't tell me the truth, then. Just... I don't know... Be nice to everypony."

We boarded the train, and a minute later, Angelus sat next to her.

After it started moving, I moved next to Chrysalis. There were two others in the cart with us.

"I have a secret for you." I said to her.

"Yes?"

I leaned in next to her ear, and placed a hoof over my mouth. "I may be friends with the ponies, but if you decide to stay an enemy, I will assist you."

"What are you saying?"

"However, if you hurt them, I will hurt you. Do you understand me?"

"Yes... I think I do."

I sat up again. "Good."

"What did you say to her?"

Chrysalis ignored her and said, "You're making me feel things I haven't felt in years."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Fear, mostly. And... respect. Whenever you speak like that, I get nervous."

"Y-Your Highness?"

"You should fear him as well, Angelus. If this is what a human child is, then I don't want to meet an adult."

"Don't think of me as a normal human, because I'm not one. I heard this quote from someone. It's pretty accurate to me. 'I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.' Ponies are much better. This world is much better. I love it. I love being here."

"I've never felt hate like this before."

"You've never met a human before."

'Your mental state is being tampered with. She's trying to feed off of you.'

I stared at her, and her expression changed. 'It doesn't matter. She can't do anything to me. I'm not like Shining Armor. My feelings aren't as strong. Let her do as she wants.'

"Hey Chrysalis."

"Do not..." Sigh. "Yes?"

"Hmm... never mind."

I got up and walked away, finding wherever the food was. I brought them both something, with a completely different attitude, as if I hadn't just talked to them.

"Trains always have awesome food, but Pinkie's stuff is the best. You gotta try some when we get there!"

"Are you toying with me?"

"Maybe. Probably. But seriously, Pinkie makes the best cupcakes. Y'know, out of all of my friends, I think I've missed her the most. And guess who's fault that is. That's right! Yours!"

"It... sounds like you really like her."

"Oh yeah, I love Pinks. Love everything about her. Her cooking, her personality, her cute widdle face... Hmm..."

"What?"

I shook my head. "Wonder how Lightning is doing. He got home, she said. Though wherever he may be is still a mystery to me. I'm bored again. Angelus, find me something to do."

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe you could shut up!"

"Boo, you suck."

"You suck!"

"Yeah, I guess I can't argue with that." I rested my cheek on my hoof and let out a sigh. This was going to be a long trip.

The train slowed to a stop. We were in Ponyville. Home.

"Finally!"

"Ah!" They both jumped awake.

I looked out the window, and saw my friends. A huge smile spread across my face.

'Ok, buddy. Calm down. Calm down, your ribs are broken. You can't jump out the window of a train while your ribs are broken.'

I rushed to the door and pressed my face against the window. "Ponieshh!"

"Others are staring at you."

As soon as the door opened, I ran out as fast as I could, only tripping once.

"Phil!"

Pinkie ran up to me. I tackled her to the ground and shnuggled her.

"Oh, I missed you! I missed you! I missed you! I missed you! I missed you!" I repeated, rubbing my head against hers.

"That tickles!" she said with a giggle.

I pulled back, smiling at her. "Pinkie!"

"Phil!"

We both laughed, and I got off of her. Oh how I have missed these cute faces.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah." I said.

"You're... crying."

I lightly rubbed my eyes with my arm. "Yeah. Yeah I am... I have missed each and every one of you... so much. Each day I was away was worse than the last."

"We were all terrified."

"Don't do this to us again, man."

I chuckled. "I'm so happy to be home. I never want to be apart from you girls again."

"What happened to you?"

"Well... Lightning told you about the cave, didn't he?"

"What happened after that?"

I explained what happened to me in more-or-less specific detail. I omitted the part about the Queen of the changelings following me home.

"Excuse me..."

I turned around. "Oh yeah, and then there's these two. I'd like you to meet Angelus and Arcana."

"Hello, I'm Arcana."

Angelus stepped in front of her, but didn't say anything.

"Hello! I'm Pinkie Pie!"

"We know who you all are. Phil told us all about you."

"He did? What did he say?"

"Well, he said that he loves you all."

"Aww..."

She chuckled. "He said it quite often, actually." she said with a smile, "Almost every day."

"He did?"

I let out a nervous chuckle.

"He also said that Pinkie Pie makes the best cupcakes ever."

"Oh yeah, it's time for breakfast!" I realized, "Lets go to Sugercube Corner. I recently heard that the baker there makes great cupcakes. Quite recently, in fact. You may even say that I heard it less than a minute ago. From her."

"Wait, but... you told me that."

"It's great to be home."

We left the station and headed to the bakery.

"Is your arm still broken?" asked Twilight.

"Yeah. And my ribs. They still hurt, too."

"He won't take his medicine, either." said Chrysalis.

"Painkillers make my head feel funny." I said, a complete lie, "Besides, it only hurts when I move."

"That's a bad thing!"

"Quit worrying, I'm fine. Speaking of, hey Rarity, can you repair my hoodie for me? It got torn in the cave."

"Oh, of course I will."

"Sweet."

Pinkie got us all some food when we got there.

"I have missed this." I said, taking a bite of a cupcake. So good... "Try one."

I gave one to Chrysalis. Angelus snatched it from my hoof and glared at me.

"Eat it." I said to her.

She examined it, then took a small bite.

"Well?"

"How is it, Angelus?" asked Chrysalis.

"It's... amazing..." She ate it quickly.

"You hear that, Pinkie?"

"Loud and clear!"

She got us another batch of cupcakes. These things get better each time you eat them.

"Man, I didn't get anything this good in prison." I said.

"Princess Cadance told us that you escaped with these two." said Twilight.

"How'd you do that?"

"Yeah, tell us how you escaped!"

"Yeah Phil, how did you escape?" asked Chrysalis, giving me a sly smile.

"Storytime!" I called out. Alright, shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down, 'cause it's storytime, motherfuckers!

I started in the cave and went over what Lightning should've already told them. After that, I talked about the cell I had to stay in. I talked about Angelus, not mentioning her name.

"Man, she was even cuter than Shining, if you can believe that."

I got a few strange looks from that comment. Angelus looked like she wanted to kill me. She probably would have if we were alone.

I told them exactly what happened, minus the parts about Nightmare Moon, up until I was talking to Chrysalis.

"And I talked to her, in my own special way. I've always been good with words. I knew I couldn't compare. And you know what? She backed down. When I asked her to tell me how to leave, well, I'm here, aren't I? She decided that I wasn't worth the trouble anymore and let me go. So finally, after a long month, I was able to go home."

Chrysalis chuckled. "The thing is, he isn't lying."

"Whoa..."

"That was like... the coolest story ever."

"I'm very impressed." said Twilight.

"Yeah. I was pretty surprised that I made it out."

I smiled to myself. 'I'm happy with the way things are going for me.'

'Good for you.'

I ate another cupcake. "You know what sucks, though? My arm being broken. It's a hard to have a party with a broken arm."

"It wouldn't suck if you just took your medicine." said Angelus.

"I told you, they make my head feel funny." I giggled a little. "I said it before and I'll say it again. I have missed this."

An hour had passed. We all entertained each other for a while, but it was getting a little boring, and for the record, late.

I was still happy, even if I was bored. Just looking at them put a smile on my face. I was fine with anything at this point.

Soon it was just the three of us and Pinkie. It was her house, after all.

"I ate too much." said Angelus, rubbing her stomach.

"I always eat too much." I said, "Except now, I haven't eaten enough."

I grabbed another cupcake. The last one. Time to commit suicide.

"Thanks, Pinkie."

"You sure ate a lot today."

"That's normal. I... guess I should get going."

"Alright."

I walked over to her and gave her a hug. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

I pulled back, and stared at her for a few moments. I let go of her.

"See ya tomorrow, Pinkie."

"Bye-bye!"

The three of us left.

"Alright, gotta give my coat to Rarity. Gonna be cold without this thing. Twilight has hats I can use."

I quickly dropped off my jacket, and she happily took it. I thought about talking to her for a little bit, but it was pretty late. We went to Twilight's house.

"Are they staying here tonight?" asked Twilight.

"You're still following me? Go home, damn it!"

"Hey, don't talk to her that way! Show her respect."

"Starting to get sick of you, Angelus!"

"We're going nowhere." said Chrysalis.

"Uh..."

"Alright, then answer this, where are you going to sleep? This place is pretty crowded already with just me here, and there's only one more bed."

"Actually, it isn't that crowded." said Twilight.

"I'm sure Arcana doesn't want to sleep on the floor, do you?"

"That would be unacceptable."

"See? Looks like Angelus gets the floor."

"Oh, no I'm not. I'm taking your bed."

"Screw you, I get the bed!"

"Maybe you could share a bed." offering Twilight.

"Are... are you being serious right now?" I asked.

"Well, you would both be in a bed, wouldn't you?"

"Not happening."

"I'm going to have to agree, Ms. Sparkle." said Chrysalis.

"If you're so keen on sharing beds, then why don't you share with him?" said Angelus.

"What?"

"I suppose that would be fine." she replied.

"That wasn't a suggestion, it was..."

"It's fine with me if you're ok with it." she said, looking at me.

"Uh... I... guess."

"Well... I guess everything works out, then!"

Chrysalis laughed at us. "Are things always this funny here?"

"Got that right."

Chrysalis was being really nice. Considering... well, her... she was going to do something bad sometime. Whatever. Didn't care what it was, didn't want to find out.

"I'm going to sleep. Goodnight, everypony."

"I will as well."

"Night."

They both got into their beds. Twilight looked at me and shrugged.

"Are you going to stay up any later?"

"No, I think I'm done."

"Come on, lets go to bed. I hope you don't find this awkward."

I just shrugged.

She got under her blankets, and I got in the other side, away from her. Not feel awkward? What a silly thing to say.

"Now, no funny stuff tonight."

"Twilight!"

She laughed at me. "Sorry. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I missed this.

Love

I woke up with Twilight in my arms, her back against me. She was so warm.

I didn't move. It felt pretty nice. I just wanted to lay here forever.

'Wait... hold on... my arm is... Nope, I'm good.'

It was underneath Twilight, but she was laying over the upper arm.

I just laid here until she started moving.

"Hmm?" She looked at me. "Oh, hello Phil."

"Hello."

"This is comfortable."

"Yeah."

"We should do this more often."

"Y-yeah."

She got off of me and out of the bed.

I got up as well. "I'm hungry. Angelus! Make me something to eat!"

"Make your own food!"

I laughed at myself.

I followed Twilight downstairs. Angelus was currently already making food for Chrysalis.

I plugged in my music to let it charge. Should've gotten this last night. Whatever. It let out a ding when it turned on.

I sniffed myself. Not pleasant. "Taking a shower, Twilight."

A few minutes later, I walked back out. I shook out my mane.

"Hey Arcana, when are you gonna go home?" I asked.

"You still need to take me to see the Princess."

"I don't wanna..."

I walked around the library a little.

"Hey Twilight, I'm gonna go get some food from Pinkie."

"Are you sure you should be walking around with your arm like that?"

"I still got like..." I had to count it out. "Three other good limbs. See ya."

"Wait for me." said Chrysalis.

"Just catch up. I won't be that far."

"Remember to take a coat. It's cold out there."

"Rarity's got my coat."

"Angelus, follow him."

"Yes, ma'am."

She left the house after me.

Chrysalis looked at Twilight. "He just does whatever he pleases, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, but he's pretty predictable."

"I don't know about that. The escape he pulled off was nothing short of a miracle."

"There's something I don't understand, though. He hasn't had much training with spells, but he picks up on everything flawlessly. He doesn't have a lot of magical power, but you said that he was able to deflect spells from the changeling guard. That isn't easy at all, and I've never taught him that or seen him preform anything like it."

"Interesting. From what I could tell, he might've been able to match or even overpower their Queen."

"That's... impossible. Even I couldn't do that. She was as powerful as Princess Celestia the last time I met her. How could he have gotten that kind of power?"

"I don't know."

"There has to be an explanation."

I paused on my way to the bakery. I wanted to say something to Angelus, but I didn't have anything to say. It was just like with Shining. Meh.

I quickly got some cupcakes from Pinkie. I gave one to Angelus, and another to Chrysalis when she arrived.

"I guess we should go to Canterlot soon." I said, "You two wanted to meet Celestia, right?"

"Of course."

"We'll leave... in two hours. I got some stuff to take care of. I take it you're coming with."

"That's correct."

"Alright."

"What are you going to take care of?"

"Stuff..."

"Like what?"

"You know... Things..."

"Do you really have something to take care of?"

"No."

"Then why can't we leave now?"

"Be nice to him, Angelus. We don't want a repeat of what happened in the prison."

"That was just a fluke. He's weak. Just look."

She poked my chest, and I recoiled away from her. "Ah!"

"Hey! Don't touch him!" Pinkie shouted at her, walking closer.

"Or what?"

"Don't hurt my friend." she said angrily.

"Angelus, I told you to be nice. I will send you home if I need to."

"B-but..."

"Enough. Apologize."

She grumbled.

"Say it."

"I'm... sorry." she said reluctantly.

"Anyways... Thanks, Pinkie. I'm gonna get going."

"Aw, already?"

"I'll be back. Some time. See ya."

"Bye."

I headed to Fluttershy's to find out where Lightning was, but she wasn't home. 'Bummer, I wanted to talk to him. Rainbow... probably knows where he is.'

I went to Rarity's shop to get my hoodie.

"Anypony here?" I called.

Rarity walked out of a door. "Hello, Phil. Your hoodie is in here."

"Sweet, it's freezing outside." I grabbed it and put it on. It had been cleaned as well. "Thanks, Rarity. Hey... uh... no, nevermind. Thanks."

"You're quite welcome. Um... You're going to Canterlot today, aren't you?"

"Yeah. What's up?"

"I have a package that I would like you to deliver."

"Alright."

She brought out a box. "This has a custom dress in it for a very important pony. Be very careful with it. The name and address are on it."

"Yeah, sure. I'll get it to..." I read the label. "Photo Finish. No prob."

"Thank you."

"I'll... be back for it just before we leave, which would be..."

"1:30." Chrysalis reminded me.

"Yeah, so I'll show up before that. Thanks for fixin' this. I'll see ya."

"Goodbye."

I had nowhere to go, as far as I could tell, so I just walked around aimlessly.

"What are we doing, now?"

"I dunno. Just waiting."

"Why can't we just go now?"

"Because I said so."

"Because you... What are you, my parents?"

'Two... hours...'

'We may be able to get another ingredient in that time.'

'What do we have left?'

'The gryphon claws, the scales, and the blood for the physical ingredients, and we need the essences.'

'I don't think we can get anything right now. Also, now that I think about it, you're an alicorn. Can't we use your blood?'

'I'm... unsure.'

'Whatever. We'll get around to it eventually. What about these two? I told them that I wanted to make them allies to the ponies while you were out.'

'That shouldn't matter as long as you make them allies to you.'

'Easy.'

'Now that we're on the subject, what else are you keeping from me?'

'Well, I've been thinking about giving up with the potion. It isn't needed at this point.'

'I may be powerful, but you are still weak. When we're separated, you'll need to be able to defend yourself.'

'Yeah, but...'

'What?' she hissed, slightly annoyed.

'I... don't want to take the essences. I can't take these things, these... emotions away from a pony, even if it's just temporary.'

'What is the meaning of this?'

'I... I can't...' I sighed. 'Nothing I say or do will convince you against getting what you want. I'll do as you say, but I just wanted to tell you that I didn't want to.'

'Up until this point, you never seemed to mind.'

'I made myself depressed again.' I shook my head. "So Arcana, what do you want to see the Princess for?"

"To become an ally, or as you said, to simply observe them."

I nodded. "Do you truly want to be their friend?"

"Well I..."

"Yes or no?"

"That's not..."

"Yes... or no?"

"Fine, then. Yes I do."

"And should I or should I not remember all the lies and cruelty?"

"I'm... sorry."

"Ma'am?"

"I don't want an apology. Not yet, at least. All I want from you is your cooperation. I need both of you to be at least somewhat nice to Celestia. That means you too, Angelus."

"Hey!"

"What did you assume he thought of you? You've been nothing but a brute to him."

"Why are you defending him?!"

"Because he scares me."

"What? Why? Why would you be afraid?"

"I'm sure that if he wanted to, he could've defeated me back home, yet he chose to restrain himself in favor of forgiveness. I'm scared of what he could do."

"But... he's so weak!"

A few ponies started to look at us.

I kept walking.

"Apparently I'm not. Not everypony can just escape a prison."

"I told you that was a fluke."

"I don't care. I just do not care. I wonder if Vinyl has some more songs... Wait... It needs to charge first. Meh."

I stopped walking, then looked at my arm. I didn't know what I expected to see. Meh.

Two hours. That was all I had to wait. I was bored again.

I went back to Pinkie's bakery.

"Hello again, you three."

"Hello."

"Hungry again?"

"No... not really."

"Is something wrong? You're always hungry."

"I just... feel a little funny."

"Like the ha-ha kind of funny or the weird kind of funny?"

"The weird kind."

"Oh, that's not good. Was Angelus picking on you again?"

"She always picks on me."

Angelus was about to say something, but Chrysalis glanced at her, and she held her tongue.

I sat at a table, and held my head in my hooves. I looked up at her clock.

"Not even thirty minutes have passed." I said.

"You look down. I know what'll make you feel better!"

She disappeared behind the counter, and returned with a tray of cupcakes. She set them on the table.

I nodded with a smile. "I guess that works." I grabbed one and nibbled on it.

"See? You're fine. Quit worrying so much."

I nodded. "Yeah."

I tossed a cupcake right at Angelus. It stopped in midair right in front of her face, then she quickly grabbed it.

"Hey, wait a minute... Twilight said that only unicorns could use magic."

'Uh oh...' "I did that." I said.

"No, Angelus did it, silly." Pinkie replied.

"You must be mistaken, Ms. Pie. Angelus is a pegasus. How could she do that?"

"Yeah, how could I do that?"

"I don't know. Twilight told me that when my Pinkie sense started acting up. In fact, I think I feel it acting up right now!" She stood still, waiting for something to happen. "Nope, false alarm."

I laughed, and ate the rest of the cupcake. "You're silly."

"You're silly."

"No, you."

"You."

I paused for a few moments. "You win this round."

I ate another cupcake, but after that, I pushed the tray away. "These are just so good. I want more but I'm too full."

Pinkie happily retrieved the tray and placed it on the counter.

"Are we going to wait here?"

"Yep."

Chrysalis stared at me. It looked like she was thinking about something, but I didn't care.

"Why are you two following him around like this?"

"Is there something wrong with that?"

"Well, of course not. I was just curious, is all."

"He's going to take us to see Princess Celestia."

"I honestly have no idea." I said.

I leaned back. It was fun just being around Pinkie. We didn't even have to be doing anything. I think I already said that.

I laid my arm on the table and examined it to pass the time. It wasn't healed yet.

'I wonder if there's a healing spell for this...'

'There's not. At least for mending broken bones. Small cuts can be closed, but it takes too much magic to be practical.'

'I want to make one.'

'It isn't that simple, you know.'

'Yeah, but I like to dream.'

I just waited it out in here, a smile plastered across my face.

"It's 1:15."

I looked to the clock. "Huh... Alright. Well, I... we gotta go. I'll... No wait... Forgetting something."

I gave Pinkie a hug again. She was so cute...

I stared into her big blue eyes. So pwetty...

My gut started to knot up, and I suddenly felt very weird. 'Strange, this only happens when I'm about to do something out of the ordinary...'

I felt my lips peck against hers. She stared at me with wide eyes when I pulled away.

'I... I just... I just kissed her...' I started blushing. I suddenly became incredibly nervous. "I... Uh... I... I-I gotta go..."

"B-bye." she said quietly.

I let go of her, then quickly walked out the door, still blushing.

'I just kissed Pinkie... But... But I... That was completely not Phil! It wasn't Phil at all! I mentally kicked myself. 'I shouldn't have done that. I'm so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!'

I walked straight to the library.

"Ahh, young love." I heard Chrysalis say.

"Huh?"

"I was surprised that you didn't do that last night when you had her in your arms. Well, arm. You have so much love towards her."

"Sh-shut up..." I said, still shaken, mentally and physically.

"What's the matter?"

"I... I just need to think about this, ok? I just need to think. Thinking will fix this. I hope it does. It's all I can do right now."

"That all you can do?"

"Yes it damn well is!" I shouted, "S-sorry..."

"Emotional. I like it."

"Just gonna get my music, and go to Canterlot."

"What about Rarity? You said you would deliver that package."

"Thanks. Get my music. Get the package. Go to Canterlot."

I gave Twilight a rushed greeting as I grabbed my music. I would've forgotten the headphones had she not reminded me.

I sped over to Rarity's boutique, going out of my way to make sure I wouldn't come near Sugarcube Corner.

My stomach was still knotted, and my chest had started to hurt. I slowed down, and took a deep breath. And another, then another. It wasn't working.

I quickly got the box, and left for the station. I got on the train and sat down, visibly shaken.

'I... kissed her.'

'Are you well? Is this normal?' Nightmare asked me, confused.

'It's... It's normal for me. I think. I... I always shake when I'm overexcited. I don't know why. It happens more often when I'm cold, so I usually think I'm just shivering, but I'm not, am I?'

'No. No you're not. Well, at least we know who we can get the essence of love from. Just a little more...'

"No!" I yelled, accidentally aloud. Ponies turned their heads to look at me.

'Now I'm the center of attention... Oh god... I can't handle this... I'm gonna throw up...'

I put my hoof over my mouth. I managed to keep my lunch where it was, but the feeling remained.

"Are you ok?" asked Chrysalis.

"I'll... I'll be fine." I said, panting as if I were exhausted, "I just need to think. I just... I-I need to think..."

I started to control my breathing, but I was still shaking. It was a start...

I steadied myself as the train began to move. I took a very deep breath, and held it for a little while. I let it out slowly.

"Ok... Ok, that's better..." I shook my head and took in one last deep breath.

"That was so strange. I've never seen anypony act like that before. Does that happen often?"

"N-no. It's never been that bad."

"So it has happened before?"

"Sometimes, when I'm really into a... a book, I start shivering in excitement when something cool is happening. It's never been this powerful before."

"Why did that happen? Was it... the kiss?"

"Yeah."

"That was your first, wasn't it?"

I silently nodded.

"That didn't happen while you were laying with Twilight."

"I don't... I don't like Twilight like I like Pinkie. I didn't think of laying with her as that big a deal."

"You were still embarrassed by it, though."

"Well... yeah, but wouldn't you be, too? I don't often do that."

"I suppose. Why, if I may ask, did you shout no?"

"I... can't say. I just..." I shut my mouth. I was done talking.

I put my headphones on, and hit random. Skip, skip, skip, skip...

I couldn't find a song that I was in the mood to listen to. Then I heard the low hum of a microphone.

"Huh?"

Words started to play, but it wasn't a song. It was Vinyl talking. Must've gotten mixed in here somehow.

It wasn't very interesting. She was just testing out her new recording equipment.

The more I heard normal talking, the more my stomach unknotted. I let out a sigh of pleasure. I felt so much better.

I had a content smile on my face, laying on a soft pillow with closed eyes.

'Hold up, I didn't get a pillow...'

I opened my eyes to find Chrysalis looking down at me. I was on her leg. She wasn't smiling, but she wasn't angry. She just didn't seem to care. Angelus, on the other hoof, wanted to wring my neck.

I had a bad feeling that I was crossing a line that just shouldn't be crossed, but I didn't know which line it was.

I didn't want to move. I didn't want to think. If it didn't bother her, then it didn't bother me.

It probably was bothering her, though. Apparently she's afraid of me or something. I don't know. Sounds weird to me. I'm the only one who should be afraid of me. Everypony else can just... do... whatever it is they do. Be cute. Yeah, that. They're good at that. Really good. Almost too good...

I stared at her until I was completely sure she didn't care. I just closed my eyes again and refused to acknowledge the outside world.

If only humans were like this...

I was waken up with a shove, and fell on the floor.

"Angelus, why you do this?" I stood up and looked at her. 'I don't even care anymore, do I?' "Meh."

"You never, ever do that again." she growled.

I gave her a blank stare before I grabbed the box and walked away.

"Shouldn't take too long. I'll get it done then go see the Princess. This was a bad idea. I should've stayed home. I shouldn't have even gone in that cave."

I kind of recognized the address, so I went to the street, and just counted off the houses. 'These houses are pretty big. Must be like... celebrity... avenue.'

I saw the number I was looking for, looked at the box, re-checked it a few times, and knocked on the door.

It opened, but it wasn't her.

"Does..." I checked the box again. "Photo Finish live here? I got this dress for her from Ponyville."

His eyes lit up, and he reached for it. "Of course, I'll make sure she gets it right away."

"Alright, but be careful with that. It was pristine when it left the shop."

"That's quite a big word for a package deliverer."

"Hey!"

Angelus giggled.

"Ah, whatever. I don't have time to argue. I need to go see Celestia."

"Vhat? Did I just hear vhat I thought I heard?" She appeared in the doorway. "You are going to see ze Princess, yes?"

"Y-yeah..."

She looked me over. "Vhat is vith your arm? Vhy isn't it in its sleeve?"

I unzipped my hoodie. "Broken."

"Oh, that is unfortunate."

"I love your accent."

"Und yours is atrocious."

I shrugged. "Fair enough. Whatever. Goodbye."

She looked at the box.

I walked away. She was boring. Well, her accent was cool. Wish I had a German accent. Or... was it Austrian? German is so cool. And Russian. Russia is awesome. Awesome to the max.

I looked at the town while I walked. 'Been a while since I've seen Celestia. And Luna. Hmm... Think I... gotta talk to her. I wanna talk to Celestia, first. I can't ignore what I did. Not this time. This sucks on ice. It was so much easier back home.'

'You're very troubled by this.'

'Yeah.'

I walked into the castle, unable to keep a smile on my face for long. This was too serious for me. I didn't like it.

"Hello, Phil."

"Princess." I bowed, then looked behind me. Chrysalis and Angelus were bowing as well. "There was nothing there." I said, "Nothing useful."

"I'm sorry that I put you through that."

"That doesn't matter to me. It was pretty fun in that cave. The end results just weren't favorable."

"You were captured by changelings."

"Yeah."

"But you escaped, with these two. Hello, Arcana and Angelus. I'm glad that you were able to come home."

"Hello, Princess Celestia."

I took a few steps to the side. "These two wanted to speak with you, but I need to discuss something with you in private."

"Of course."

They started talking to the Princess. They were both being polite. 'Should I give them away? I could capture them both. Hmm...'

I didn't care what they were talking about. I was too busy thinking again. I didn't even like thinking anymore.

'Chrysalis is scared of me, and I don't like it. I snapped and... somehow managed to tap into your power directly. I was able to bend iron bars with brute force. Can you do that?'

'If I needed to, I'm sure I could.'

'It wasn't just your magical power, then. How is my mental status, can you tell?'

'You're fine.'

'So I'm stable right now... So, big emotional outbursts... Damn... I'm good with keeping a cap on my emotions, but it's been different ever since I got here. I've gotten close to my little ponies. I'm not the same guy I was back home. I need to accept that. I need to...'

"Celestia, where is Luna?" I asked, completely interrupting whatever she was saying. "Sorry, but I need to talk to her. Now."

"She's in her room. What's troubling you?"

I nodded. "Sorry, it's a personal problem."

I left the room with a bow. She waved her from a guard to the door, and he walked out after me. Chrysalis glanced at Angelus. She bowed, then left as well.

"Don't you trust him, Your Highness?"

"I do... It's just that... I think he's infatuated with my sister."

"Wait... what? Princess Luna?"

"I believe so, yes. And you?"

"He... knows some things that I would rather him not share. To anypony."

"I understand."

"What were we talking about again?"

I walked to her room at a slow pace. I had so much to say. Or... I didn't have anything at all to say... This was too complicated for me.

I'm overcomplicating this, and I know I'm doing it, too. I was doing this to myself. I won't allow it to become simple. I wasn't talking about what game to get, or what computer I wanted. As much as I dreaded it, I was talking about love. And I hated every moment of it.

I felt sick to the stomach again as I raised my hoof to knock on her door.

"L... Luna?" I called.

"Phil? Is that you?" She opened the door, and she smiled. "I've missed you. Come in, please."

I looked at the two extra ponies that came with us. "Both of you, stay out here." I growled at them.

They both refused.

'Nightmare, could you do me a favor? Block the door off when I walk inside.'

'Why?'

'I asked nicely.'

She let out a sigh. 'You're so pathetic. Very well.'

'Thank you.'

I walked through the door, and the spell was cast. They both bumped into it. I closed the door.

"Are you well? You don't look it, and you're acting strange. Why did you block them out?"

"I... need to ask you something. It's... important... to me, at least."

"What is it? I don't like seeing you like this."

In my head, I knew that I didn't have to go through this. I didn't have to do this to myself. I knew that Pinkie wouldn't mind me kissing her. She wasn't thinking about it like I was. I could just leave, right now.

I needed to know.

"I..." It was hard for me to form the words. "I need to know... if... if you... if... you have... if you have any... feelings towards me."

I looked down. I couldn't bring myself to meet her eyes. It was awkward. I was embarrassed. I wasn't this kind of person. I would never ask anyone this.

"Wh-what? What do you mean?"

"Y-you know what I mean, Luna. Please, tell me the truth. It's important. I wouldn't be upset if you said no. I just... I want you to tell me the truth."

"This... this is so sudden..."

"Please, tell me."

She gave me a small nod. "If it is truly that important to you... then I will tell you. The truth between us..."

Happiness

My heart was racing, waiting for the answer.

"I don't have feelings towards you."

"R-really?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank you..."

"What? I don't understand."

"I was beating myself up all day over that. It's a relief hearing that."

"Why is that? You're confusing me. Explain this."

"Alright. I guess I can tell you. I... I love you, Luna. At least, I thought I did. When I met you for the first time, I fell in love with you. But those feelings have changed. Not in a bad way, though. I still love you. But I love you like I love all of my friends. Yesterday... I kissed Pinkie Pie, and I panicked. I've never done that, ever. I thought that I put myself into a situation that I never wanted to be in. I don't like being in love. It's too complicated. For me."

She looked at me with wide eyes. "This... was... unexpected, to say the least. You were in love with me?"

"I was. I was so worried that you would say yes. I couldn't even decide if it would be a good thing or a bad thing."

"Why would it be a bad thing?"

"I... After I... kissed her, I started freaking out. I couldn't think straight. It was just a little kiss, but it made me feel so strange inside. D-do you understand me? This is getting embarrassing."

"I don't understand why you were so worried."

"I'm... not..." I thought about what to say at this point. "I don't like love. I don't like talking about love. I don't like thinking about love. When I... uh... When I suddenly kissed Pinkie... it was so shocking to me. I've never kissed anypony before, not even a human woman. Or man, for that matter. I love everypony. You, your sister, Twilight and her friends, my friends from back home, everypony. I've just never felt real love until I came here. I didn't interact with people enough. I... I guess I made myself worried, but I'm just that kind of person. I built it up too much in my mind."

"What if I had said yes? What would you do?"

"I... I don't know. I guess that was why I was so worried. I couldn't think of anything. I'm scared of things that I can't think through." I looked away, thinking of it for the last time. "I didn't want to make you angry. I didn't want to hurt Pinkie's feelings. If you had said yes, then I would've told you. And then... I don't know. I'm just... I'm not... I wouldn't be able to deal with that."

She smiled. "You think too much. Even I don't think like that. You need to relax. You take life too seriously for one your age."

"I know, Princess."

"You were always so happy when you were with me. Was this all because of what happened with your friend?"

"I... don't think so. When I was... away, I was held in a changeling prison cell. After almost month had passed, just a few days ago, I asked to go. I wanted to come home to my friends. I begged to their Queen, and she mocked me. She laughed at me, and I lost it. Not just my temper. I lost something else. I've felt different since then. And I don't like it." I laughed a little to myself. "This is too serious for me, Princess. I just wanted to go back to the way things were. We were all happy back then, weren't we?"

'Celestia is at the door. I need to remove the barrier.'

'I've said what I wanted. Thanks.'

The door swung open moments after she released her spell.

"What are you..." she started, "What... are you two doing in here?"

"We were discussing something in private." said Luna.

I nodded with a small smile on my face. "Yeah."

"Why was the door sealed?" she asked us sternly.

"I told you, sister. We needed to talk in private. That means without any guards."

"What were you talking about?"

Luna remained silent. I shook my head. "It's a personal matter."

"Indeed."

She looked at me. She seemed confused, but I couldn't tell why.

"We... We'll talk about it later, Princess."

"You're so troublesome."

I laughed. "I missed you two! How are you?"

"We're great." she said.

"Yes. And you? I see that you're injured."

"I'm fine. It doesn't hurt as much as it did earlier, and I'm healing up pretty nicely." I told them the short version of what had happened to me.

"The changelings were north?"

"Yeah."

"How was their Queen in this setting? You said that you spoke with her."

Chrysalis stared at me, and gave me a nod.

"It's difficult to say. At first, she actually seemed kind. Or at least enough to have me patched up. She acted as I would imagine you would to a prisoner, Princess. Except... sometimes, she was cruel to me. I talked to her for a while. I gave her a few suggestions, and she even considered them."

"Suggestions? Like what?"

"I told her that she was better off making peace with you ponies than remain hostile. I even convinced her to join me. Even if she didn't want to make peace, she could always just spy on you."

"What?" She turned and looked at the two mares. "You... you mean..."

"I would've liked to have waited before you gave us away, but I suppose that it's unavoidable now."

The pair of them were covered in emerald flames, and they were returned to normal.

"Y-you did this?" Celestia asked me, "You led them here?!"

"Capture them, if you want." I said with a strikingly calm tone, "You two are more powerful than they are."

"You traitor!"

"Calm yourself, Angelus. We've come here on peaceful terms. Settle your dispute with the human elsewhere."

I looked at her. "C'mon, Angleus. The adults are talking."

"I'm older than you are."

"Yeah, well I'm Phil."

I left the room, and Angelus followed.

"You infuriate me to no end, human."

I was just about to walk down the hall, but suddenly stopped, and put my hoof in front of her chest.

"What the..."

"Change back into a pony, Angelus."

She did as I said, and let out a reluctant, "Thanks."

"Lets go."

"I don't want to be too far away from my Queen."

"If Celestia or Luna were going to imprison her or anything, then we would've heard some commotion already. Ponies are pretty peaceful. Unless she purposefully says or does something bad, nothing will happen. She's a big girl."

"I hate it when you say things like that."

"Trust me. You've got nothing to worry about. If you want, you can come with me, but you don't have to. I'm just gonna... I don't know... maybe do some more thinking."

"What are you going to think about?"

"I don't know. I hate my head."

"That makes two of us."

"Yeah."

I shook my head. 'I want to go back and talk to Pinkie. I can't go right now. Luna or Celestia may need me. And Chrysalis... she's fine.'

"Why did you give us away so soon?"

"I wanted to see what would happen." I said, "I'm going to the library. Are you coming with?"

She nodded.

I didn't like how I felt. I was angry, but sad. It wasn't me. I'm always happy. Being happy makes me happy.

I grabbed onto a book, then let go. I stared at the spines. They were blank to me.

"Angelus."

"What do you want?"

"Are we friends?"

"What?"

"You're not very nice to me, but you never seemed to hate me. Are we friends?"

"I... I guess so... I don't actually dislike you. It's just the things that you do. You openly disrespect my Queen."

"I... have no excuse for that. I just act that way around everypony."

"Even your Princesses?"

"I would if I hung out with them more often. It'd been a while since I've been here. And who's fault would that be, again? Anyways, it doesn't matter. I have something big planned that involves her."

"What are you talking about?"

"It isn't a bad thing, don't worry. It won't matter for a while, though. I feel weird."

It was still difficult to keep up a smile, and I didn't fully understand why.

'C'mon, you sorry sack of shit! Get your ass into gear! There's enough time to feel sorry for yourself later. You have Angelus, you have music, you have the majority of usable limbs left! Pick something and do it! Do it hard! Especially Angelus!' I shook my head to pull myself back together.

I stretched myself out as best I could. I laughed at myself. "Alright... yeah... C'mon, lets get something to eat. I'm starvin'."

"Did I miss something? Why are you so happy all of the sudden?"

"Life's too short for me to be sad, silly face."

I put on my headphones and turned them up loud, smiling as I walked. This was how I was meant to move. No thinking, no problems.

I asked the chefs to make us some pancakes, and I apologized to them before I dug in like a ravenous dog. Angelus acted very refined. A nice contrast to my awful behavior.

I silenced my headphones. "That was delicious!" I said happily.

"I have to admit, these royal chefs really know what they're doing."

"Well of course. They're royal chefs, after all."

I thanked them, apologized again, and we left.

Oh, I felt so much better.

I went back to the Princesses, but could still hear them talking inside.

I shrugged. "You... wanna go to the library again?"

"Are you kidding me? We were just there."

"Well, I'm going."

I briefly looked at the books again. None of them were very interesting to me right now. Just as well, I suppose. I sat against a shelf, and listened to music again. "I like this place. It's the most peaceful part of the castle. Nopony bothers you in here."

"You're boring me."

"Yeah..." I stretched my headphones out, then said, "You wanna listen?"

She shook her head.

"Suit yourself."

Boo, I'm boring. And probably going in circles.

I rested against the bookshelf for a total of 56 minutes, about 22 songs.

I saw the door open, and Celestia walked in. I stood up and bowed, taking the headphones off.

"Have you reached an agreement, Princess?"

"We have. My sister and I were both taken aback by this, but we agreed that peace would be best."

"Cool."

"Angelus, leave us. I need to discuss something with him."

"As... As you wish, Princess Celestia."

She left the room, leaving us alone.

"Why did you do this?" she asked, "I'm not angry at you, nor am I particularly ecstatic that she is here. Why have you brought her to Canterlot?"

"I wanted you two to talk. Even if nothing was agreed upon, I just wanted the two of you to talk like civil ponies. In truth, if you had imprisoned her, I would've assisted in her escape."

"You... what? That would be a crime."

"Of course it would. I just don't see the point in imprisoning her. She's not... She doesn't have an evil soul."

"What do you know about her soul?"

"She's from this world, so that makes her, at the very least, not truly evil. Unlike the human world. I... No... I'm not the right person to talk about the human world. I have an evil soul, Celestia. At least, that's how I feel. My view of the human world is hatred. I hate my own kind. But many of them are so much better than I am. Some humans have more heart than even Fluttershy, and she's the element of kindness. Others put even Nightmare Moon to shame. Humans... I just do not like them."

"'I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.' Isn't that what you said to Queen Chrysalis?"

"Yeah."

"And now you're saying that many are better than you are."

"Yeah."

"Which is it? Are you the best of your kind, or the worst it has to offer?"

"I... I'm just Phil."

She smiled. "You are kind, you are caring, you are interesting, you are intelligent, and you are good. You are Phil."

"I don't need to compare myself to any other human. I just need to be a good person. Heh... I probably couldn't have figured that out without help. Thanks." I paused for a few moments, then wrapped my arm around her for a brief hug. "I want to go back to Ponyville, Princess." I said, pulling away.

"Of course, but could you wait a while before you leave? There is much to discuss."

"Alright, I guess."

"Earlier, you said that you would've helped her escape. You would risk your own freedom for her?"

"Yeah. I brought her here, and I'd bring her home."

"You don't know if you could do that, do you?"

"I'm sure I can't."

"That's very noble of you. My sister told me what you said to her."

"That was weird. I don't want to go through it again."

"Queen Chrysalis told me that she was afraid of you. I didn't understand that. Would you like to explain it to me?"

"I... don't fully understand why myself. Maybe it was because I knew where she was, or that I'm a human. What's going to happen to Angelus and Chrysalis?"

"Queen Chrysalis wanted to speak with you again. Come with me, I'll take you to her."

"Alright."

We walked to the throne room, where she was waiting. I gave her a small bow.

"So what's up?"

"I'd like to thank you for this."

"Really?"

"That's right. We're at peace with the ponies, and it's all thanks to you. I would never have done this without you."

"It's an honor, Your Highness."

"And... I'd like to apologize once again for what I did."

I nodded. "Are you leaving?"

"Yes. I must return to my kingdom."

"Alright. I'll see you later."

"Feel free to stop by when you get the chance, though. I'll make sure that you're welcomed properly."

"Thank you."

"Of course. Angelus, it's time to go."

"Yes, ma'am. Um... Goodbye, Phil... Princesses."

"I'll see ya. Nice to get to know the two of you."

They both left. Two guards followed them.

"That was fun." I said, "I broke my arm, but I made a friend. All in all, it was a good journey."

Author's Notes:

Honestly, this chapter was not as good as I wanted it to be.

Super best friends

*Bit of a grey area here in terms of rating. Things were written that didn't need to be written, and I'm sure I crossed a line. A few times.

I spent the rest of the day in Canterlot, mostly talking with Luna and Celestia about what's been happening recently. Well, not so recently considering that I've been gone for a month.

After a huggy goodbye, which I would not leave without, I boarded the train and went back to Ponyville, just after the sun went down.

'I... need to talk to Pinkie. That's just... it needs to happen. Gosh, she is just so cute... What... could I say?'

I felt excited, but I was getting nervous again. Thankfully, not as much as before. I was still pretty happy, so that's a plus.

I laid on my seat and put my good hoof behind my head. 'How long is this gonna take to heal?'

'At least ten more days. At most, another month.'

'Alright. I'll just... plan accordingly.'

It was an inconvenience having a broken limb, but it didn't really bother me. Sure, it still hurt, but I was fine with it. Just a little while longer.

I fell asleep, and woke back up in the middle of the night.

'Huh? Why did I wake up? Stupid... head.'

I closed my eyes again, but just couldn't seem to fall asleep. I glanced at the clock. It seemed like it said that I've been sleeping for 4 or so hours, but it was hard to tell. I rolled over on my side.

I sighed, then sat up. I looked out the window.

Snow, and lots of it. Pretty.

I watched it snow for a while, momentarily wondering if it was gonna end soon. I liked snow.

Snow looked better at night than it did during the day. Couldn't say why. Maybe it was because it was white over a dark background. It just looked cool to me.

"I wish I could stay in Equestria forever. It's beautiful here. Und ze ponies are vunderbar. Will I have to go home one of these days? I hope not."

I thought about my life back home. I didn't come from a bad family, we weren't poor, there were no real problems whatsoever. The only thing wrong with me being home was me. I made my own problems. I already knew that, I just blamed everyone else. It couldn't be all my fault, can it? Boo, I'm cynical.

Here, I was free. I've made so many friends. I'm actually important here. I matter. At least, that's what I think. That's what I liked to think. Nyeh... thinking...

I laid down again, and managed to fall asleep.

I went to the bakery after I arrived.

'Ok, this... shouldn't be that hard. She's Pinkie. She's good like that. Alright... lets do this.'

I walked in.

"Hello, Pinkie."

"Phil!"

She got me a cupcake. I nibbled on it.

"I, uh... I gotta talk to you about... uh... that thing I did. The last time I was here."

Her smile faded for a moment, then returned, same as before. She had a small blush on her face. "You kissed me."

I briefly glanced away. "Yeah."

She let out a tiny giggle.

"Y'know, I really like you."

"I can tell."

"You're fun and cute and nice and... I really like that about you. Heh... Sorry, I'm not a very romantic guy. I don't... really know what to say right now, so..."

I pressed my lips against hers again, pulling back again a few seconds later. My lips were tingling.

"That felt great."

"Maybe you should do it again."

I wrapped my arm around her back, and kissed her again. She put her hooves around my head.

I felt her pull back on me. I slowly walked forward, eyes closed.

She pulled back and let out a small giggle. I opened my eyes. She had rolled onto her back, and was on the ground. I crawled over her and kissed her again, standing over her.

I pulled away from her. "You taste like cotton candy."

"You taste like cupcakes."

I stared at her for a few more seconds, gazing into her big, beautiful eyes before reconnecting our lips for another kiss.

I started to move myself along the side of her face, then rounded her jawbone, kissing under her chin and down her neck. I licked up her neck, messing up her coat.

"That tickles..."

I kissed down her chest, and felt her place a hoof on the top of my head. She let out a cute little moan.

When I reached her stomach, her leg started kicking like a dog.

"Hey Pinkie! I gotta tell you so... What are you doing?"

I froze, hovering my head a few inches above her tummy.

"Uhh..."

"Hi, Rainbow..." I said awkwardly, lifting my head above the counter.

Pinkie popped her head over the counter with her typical cheery demeanor.

"Am... am I interrupting something?"

"No."

"Yes."

"Uh..." She took a few steps back. "I think I should go."

"Why?"

She let out a nervous chuckle and said, "Yeah... I think I'll tell you later." She ran out the door.

"That was a bit of a moodkiller." said Pinkie.

"We should go see what she wanted."

"Maybe."

"I would've."

"I would've let you."

"Lets go."

'I have no words. I am at a loss for words. I can't even place how that made me feel.'

'Let me guess. A strange mixture of disgust and arousal?'

No answer. Nailed it. Not sure if I should be proud of that...

"Hey, you're still here!" said Pinkie.

"What... was that?"

"That depends, what did it look like?" asked Pinkie.

"It really looked like you two were about to... well, you know..."

"What do I know?"

"You know what I mean, Pinkie. I... didn't realize that you two were... together like that."

"So... what did you want to tell Pinkie?" I asked, trying to avoid the conversation altogether.

"Yeah, we were having fun. Unless you wanted to join."

"Uh... What?" And we're right back on it.

"What? Pinkie, that's... eww..."

I gave her an exaggerated sad face.

"I... I didn't mean... I... Well, I mean... you're not... uh..."

"She thinks you're cu-ute..." Pinkie said in a sing-song voice, almost on the brink of laughter.

"I do not!" She gave me an awkward look. "Alright, fine. You're... actually pretty good looking, but..."

"I can say the same about you."

She paused as if what I said startled her. "Uh... It's just that... we're friends... and..."

"Alright, alright. Enough from everypony. We can talk about this later if we really need to. So, what's up? What were ya here for?"

"I... can't remember anymore. I think... maybe I should go."

"You should get a cupcake before you leave. Speaking of, I never finished mine. I got... sidetracked by something. Hold on, I'll be back."

I went back in and grabbed my partially eaten cupcake.

"Yeah, cupcake." I looked at Rainbow, then Pinkie, and took a bite out of it. "Alright. I guess that's that."

"What's what?"

"Huh?"

"I don't know. I thought something would happen if I said that."

"I can think of a few things that can happen." said Pinkie, leaning on me.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go." she said quickly.

"Alright. See ya, then."

"Bye, Rainbow!"

She took off, and I looked to Pinkie. I smiled. She seemed different to me somehow. I couldn't tell exactly what it was, but I liked it.

I laughed at our situation. "That was a little embarrassing."

"Just a little. Lets go back inside."

I followed her back into the store.

"You know, I think we should save the fun stuff until later." she said.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, it's too early right now. It's more of night thing, anyways."

"I... guess." It went from a moment of instinct and passion to... something else. It didn't sit well with me. Doesn't matter, I liked spending time with her.

"I didn't expect you to do that."

"Me either."

I sat at a table, and she put another cupcake on it, then sat across from me.

I briefly looked away, thinking about something inconsequential. I grabbed the cupcake, and smiled at her as I took a bite.

"You know, we should do something sometime."

"We already were doing something until Rainbow showed up."

I shrugged, then leaned over the table and kissed her again. "I think I gotta go."

She still had a smile on her face. "Come back tonight. We'll have a sleepover!"

"Alright."

"Oh! Oh! And I can invite everypony else! It's gonna be so much fun!"

I just smiled and nodded, having lost track of what exactly we were talking about a while ago.

"Tell Twilight about it when you get the chance. She loves sleepovers!"

"Alright. I'll see ya tonight, then. Bye-bye, Pinks!"

"Bye, Philly! Wait a minute... Filly, Philly... It's the same!"

"Hehe..."

I left her store, and let out a sigh. We weren't just best friends anymore. More like... super best friends.

I went back to the library, smiling ecstatically.

"Yo, Twilight!"

"What is it?"

"Pinkie said that she's having a sleepover tonight, and told me to invite you. Doesn't that sound great?"

"That does sound pretty good."

"Sweet. See ya there."

I decided that I wasn't just going to be a boring lump on a log today. I took off and went to visit Vinyl.

I knocked on the door.

"Oh, hey man! It's been a while!"

"Sure has." I walked in.

"I heard that you went exploring in some cave somewhere. How'd that work out?"

"Lets see... broken arm, two broken ribs, dozens of scratches and bruises, and it turns out that what we were looking for didn't really exist. And what's more is that I was kept in a prison for a month while I recovered from broken-limb-itis syndrome."

"Aw man, that's terrible."

"Yeah, and things just kept going downhill from there up until about yesterday. I'm fine, though. I'm good."

"Dude..."

"So anyways, did you make any new songs?"

"Yeah, I got a few done. I tried to make one with vocals, too. Well, you'll hear it."

"Alright, awesome!"

We both went downstairs. The system was almost unchanged from the last time I was here. There were two more speakers hooked up.

"Hey, I told you about my friend Octavia, right?" she asked as she turned on her system.

"The cellist?"

"Yeah. She's coming to Ponyville in a few days. You wanna meet her?"

"Alright. Sounds like fun. Just don't expect me to act all fancy around her."

"I didn't think you would."

"Hey!"

"Well it's not like you're the fanciest of ponies, are you? You already smell like sweat."

"I always smell sweaty."

"Not really. Anyways, here's one of my newer songs."

She hit play, and awesomeness. If awesomeness was a verb... this. These ones were really great.

She paused it just at the end of a song. "Alright, this is the one where I tried singing, so don't laugh."

"Ok."

"And... It's not really dubstep, so..."

She hit play.

It started out with a slow, low pitched piano. Ponies and pianos! Cannot compute! A little bit in, she started singing. Her voice sounded beautiful.

The music increased in tempo, and more instruments were added. Drums and guitar, mostly. She gave off a long high note.

I looked to her, and could see her face turn a little red.

There was a gap where she stopped singing, and she picked up about half a minute later.

The song was two minutes long, my guess is because she didn't want to sing anymore.

She paused it.

"So? What do you think?"

"That was pretty good. I didn't know you had a voice like that."

"You aren't just saying that to be nice, are you?"

"Course not. I don't do that."

"So you really liked it?"

"Yeah. It was great. It was... Well, it was beautiful."

"Really?" I was making her blush even more.

"You... alright?"

"I guess I'm... kinda embarrassed. I haven't done that before."

"Eh. You're fine. I know I sure as hell couldn't do any better."

"Well... why don't you try? I still got my recording stuff set up."

"Alright. I guess I owe ya since you let me listen to this. Huh... I think... that I can remember a few songs. I just need to write down the lyrics before I start."

"Hold on, I'll be right back."

She went upstairs and came back with a stack of paper and a few pencils.

"Alright, cool."

I took it from her, then thought about some songs that I could remember. It's been... two... or maybe three months since I've been home. I think. Don't really know anomore.

"Alright... Animal I Have Become, I Have Everything About You, Time of Dying, Monster, Falling Inside the Black, Place for my Head, In the End, Numb, Noise Channel Rocker, Headstrong, For You, and Narcissistic Cannibal." I listed off songs that I knew just about all the lyrics. Mostly rock songs. Three Days Grace, Skillet, and Linkin Park.

I wrote down the names on a paper, then looked at them. I crossed out a few of them, then a few more.

Six songs left...

I started writing down the lyrics as I remembered them. Slowly, the songs came together. I dropped all but Place for my Head and Animal I have Become because I remembered them the most.

I chose the Three Days Grace song, but in the end, it doesn't even matter.

I read over the lyrics, re-read them, made a change after I remembered a line, made another change, and re-read it again.

"Alright, I think I got it."

"Well, you managed to kill about an hour. Let me see that." She took the paper and read it. "This is pretty weird."

"Meh. It's by my... second favorite artist. Third. Second? Whatever, I absolutely love them."

She gave me the paper. "Alright, step into that room right there. I'll get you started up."

"Play a drum beat or something." I tapped on the table to the beat of the song playing in my head. "Like that."

"Yeah, no prob."

I went in, and put on the headphones inside.

"Can you hear me?"

"Yep. You?"

"Got it."

The beat started playing. I read my paper one last time before I started to sing. About four minutes later, I walked back out. I managed to not trip myself up with the words, but I was off key a bunch of times. I'm always off key when I sing without music. Hell, I'm off key when I sing with the music.

"Ok, never doing that again."

"Actually, it was ok considering you just remembered the whole thing."

"Hehe, thanks. You haven't even heard the real version. It's freakin' amazing."

"Do you... mind if I use that recording for a song?"

"You were recording that? Yeah, ok. Go ahead."

"And... one more thing. There's also a camera in there, so all that dancing you did..."

"Oh... Delete it."

"Nah, I think I'll keep it. You know, for blackmailing purposes."

"I do enjoy blackmail... What time is it?"

"Around four, I think."

"Alright. I could stay a bit longer."

"You got somewhere to be?"

"Actually, yeah. I was gonna go see a few more of my friends, and then when it gets dark, I'm gonna be headed to Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie's having a sleepover, and she's inviting a few of our friends. Wanna come with?"

"Nah. I'm good."

"Alright. Hey..." I got out my music player. "There's a... thing in here that has you testing out your recording stuff. You're just talking in it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You know, when I came home, I was really nervous and stressed out. When I heard you talking... just normal talking... it calmed me down. So... thanks."

"Uh... You're... welcome. I guess. Do you want me to take it out?"

"No, it's fine. I do want you to put your new songs on it, though."

She took it from me and hooked it up. A few minutes later, she gave it back.

"Thanks."

For the next hour or so, we listened to music, and talked about some songs. I decided that it was time to go, and gave her a surprise hug before I left.

"See ya later."

"Yeah. See ya."

Next, I went back to the bakery, just because I could.

"Hey Pinks, do you mind if I invite Lightning?"

"Good idea. Two stallions would make it better. It'll get boring with only one."

"Uh... Alright..." I still didn't understand her completely.

"Since you're going there already, can you tell Fluttershy about this?"

"Of course."

I pecked her on the nose before I took off to Fluttershy's place to finally ask where Lightning lived.

Turns out, he lived in Ponyville. I was way off. I don't think Montreal is even in Equestria. I told her about the sleepover before I left.

Such a cute widdle pony.

I walked through town for a while, getting lost twice before I made it to his street. "Alright... It should be around here... somewhere. There it is." I knocked on his door. "Lightning! Lightning, you home?"

He opened it. "Oh, hey man. It's been a while. How did it go?"

"It went fantastic. I got home in one piece, which is a positive thing."

"I'm sure it is. You... wanna come in?"

"Nah, maybe some other time. They didn't mess with ya, did they?"

"Nah. They knew better."

I nodded. "Alright. Hey, Pinkie's throwin' a sleepover tonight. I wanted to know if you wanted to show up. Fluttershy said she'd go."

"Fluttershy's going? Yeah, I'll be there. Sounds like fun."

"It's gonna be funtacular." I remembered what Pinkie said earlier, and decided to ignore the little voice in my head that said to tell him. Not Nightmare, the other little voice. The one that always tells me to burn stuff.

"When did you get back?"

"About... Three days ago. Maybe. Sorry I didn't get to ya sooner."

"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I left you there alone."

"Don't worry about it. I told you to go, remember? You needed to come back home before everypony freaked out. I couldn't go anywhere anyways."

"I still feel kinda bad about it."

"Yeah, well quit it."

"I don't think it works like that."

"It should. Whatever. I'll see ya later, buddy."

"Alright, I'll see ya there."

Next, I went to Lyra's house. It was great to see her again. I told her basically what I told Vinyl, that I got broked up a notch. Lyra was such a widdle sweetheart.

It was around seven by the time I got back to the bakery.

"I'm back. Lightning said he's in, and Twilight and Fluttershy are showing."

"I invited everypony else. For some reason, Rainbow didn't want to come, but I managed to persuade her."

"I wonder why."

"I don't know."

I was already fairly certain of the reason. "So when's everypony gonna get here?"

"Tonight." she cheerfully replied.

"Oh."

"C'mon, lets set some stuff up!"

"Sounds like a plan to me."

We got to work setting up the party. It was turning into less of a sleepover and more like a late party.

Twilight showed up first, and a little later, everypony else got here. Rainbow was the last to show.

"Good evenin', everypony! Glad you could all make it."

"Course! Ah wouldn't wanna miss one o' Pinkie's parties!"

"Same here."

"Great! Alright, you're gonna have to take over, Pinkie. I'm already out of things to say."

"You can't run out of things to say! What about cupcake? You can say cupcake."

"I've run out of relevant things to say."

"Cupcakes are always relevant!"

I gave her a look of realization, as if I had just been given the answer to every question in the universe.

She started talking to them, telling them about some things we could do for the next few hours. I stood next to her and smiled. I didn't care what we were gonna do. We were all together. Awesome. And honestly, I wasn't really interested in party games. I'm not really a party guy. I just liked being by all my friends.

Stop looking at me like that! I'm not creative enough to think of anything! Now lets all agree... to never be creative again.

I stood a little away from them to make sure they didn't bump into me. It would've probably hurt.

Most of the things that they did seemed pretty girly. I went over by Lightning.

"Having fun?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's pretty fun. I haven't done this in a while."

"Yeah, me either."

"Hey Phil, what do humans usually do for sleepovers?" Pinkie asked me.

"Uhh... I don't know, really. I usually just sit around and play video games with my friends. I've heard of a few things, though. Truth or dare, some people play that. And... And... I can't remember anything else."

"Truth or dare is fun!"

"I'm in."

"Same here."

Fluttershy was the last to accept the offer after seeing that everypony else joined already.

We all sat in a circle. Pinkie went first. For a while, it was just silly stuff, like balancing a glass of water on their head.

"Phil, truth or dare?" Rarity asked me.

"Truth."

"Alright... Tell me, do you fancy anypony?"

"Yeah." I leaned to my side and kissed Pinkie. "Must've forgotten to mention that."

Everypony was staring at the two of us with absolutely shocked, almost horrified faces.

Pinkie started to laugh. "You all look silly!"

"Well... I... I guess... that answers that..."

"My turn. Rainbow, truth or dare?"

"D-dare..." She cleared her throat, and repeated herself. "Dare."

"Alright. I dare you to... let Rarity give you a makeover."

She gave me an evil glare. I glanced at Rarity.

"It's been quite a while since you've been given a makeover, Rainbow Dash." she said.

Pinkie started giggling. Rainbow sighed. "Alright, fine."

Rarity got out her kit, and got to work on her. Five minutes later, she pulled away, letting out a proud, "Voilà!"

She had lipstick, eyeliner, shadow, blush, everything, and she really hated it. She was so pwetty. Pinkie quickly pulled out a camera and snapped a picture. Rainbow jumped, then sighed, already knowing that she wasn't getting the picture away from her friend.

"Wow... That turned out pretty nicely."

"I hate you so much right now."

We went around again. When it got to Rainbow's turn again, she asked me. I knew she had something in store for me, but I was ready for anything.

"Dare."

Her face lit up with a huge smile. She started laughing, then contained herself before she quickly said, "I dare you to kiss Lightning!" She fell on the floor and burst out laughing again.

Ready for anything... except that. I looked at him, and he shook his head.

"What's your problem?" he asked her.

"Payback!" she cried out between giggles.

I glanced at him again, then at her. I paused for a few moments, then said, "What, like... on the lips?"

"Huh?"

"Does it have to be on the lips?"

"Uh... I... I guess. Yeah. Yeah it does."

"Alright."

"What?" Rainbow sat up, quietly looking at me.

I shrugged. "I'd kiss a guy. I'm sure he doesn't want to, though."

"No, no I don't."

"Again... What?"

"Just look at this guy. Who wouldn't wanna kiss him?"

"Wow! It's amazing how awkward this just got." he said.

"Yeah."

"I still wanna see it happen." said Pinkie, "Like, a lot."

I looked at him again.

"Not a chance!"

"Alright, pick something else." I said.

"No, she dared you to do it. Those are the rules." said Pinkie, giving my shoulder a light push.

At this point, I was getting bored of talking about it, so I decided to say something that was probably uncalled for. "What do you think, Fluttershy?"

"Hey."

If she wasn't blushing before, she was now. Tonight, she told us that they were together, and honestly, at least to me, the answer was a bit of a letdown considering how long they've been like this.

Truth or dare was probably a bad idea, but it was so fun.

"Oh, I don't know... Uh..." She paused for a while. "Y-yes?"

"That settles it!" exclaimed my favorite pink talking space-dog.

"Geez Pinkie... I like your energy today."

I looked at Lightning again.

He let out a groan. "Alright, fine."

Before he could move, I pressed my lips against his. I heard a loud click, and pulled away. He had a look of disgust on his face.

He wiped off his mouth. "Ewww... Give a guy a little warning next time. Sick..."

"Holy Celestia, he actually did it."

"I'm gonna go clean my mouth." Lightning left to the bathroom.

"Huh... I'd totally do that again."

"Really?"

"Yeah... yeah."

"Wait... Does that mean that you're..."

"Eh, a little. I guess."

"Wait, then... what about me?" asked Pinkie.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I would still do many, many, many things to you."

"Hooray!"

I laughed. The way she celebrated what I said in such a casual, innocent tone was hilarious to me.

"Well... Guess who's sleeping in different rooms tonight!" said Twilight.

"What? Who's sleeping where?" asked Lightning, walking back in the room, "What did I miss?"

"These two don't get to sleep in the same room because... well..."

"I caught the two of them trying to do something behind the counter this morning." said Rainbow.

"What, seriously?!"

"Yep!"

"At this point, the only answer I think I'm allowed to give is yes." I said.

"But aren't you... a human? Isn't that a little weird?"

"Not to me."

"Me either!"

"Well, I think that's enough truth or dare for one night."

"I don't think I ever want to play this game again." said Rarity, "I feel unclean just sitting here."

"Heh. Sorry, everypony. I think I ruined it." I said.

"Gonna have to agree."

I shrugged, and wrapped my arm around Pinkie as I sat. She snuggled against me.

"Fun while it lasted."

Agreements all around.

"Hey, Lightning."

"Yeah?"

"Didn't mean anything."

"Yeah. No prob."

A few hours passed. Anytime they thought that I was getting a little too close to Pinkie, they pulled me away from her, sometimes with a force.

I glanced at the clock. 3:00 AM. Alright. At the moment, only three of us were still up. Lightning, Rainbow, Pinkie, and myself.

I was almost nodding off where I was standing. My eyelids felt heavy.

I shook my head. "Alright. I think it's time."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"Lightning." said Rainbow.

"Huh?"

"You take Pinkie to bed."

"But I wanna stay down here."

She looked at her for a few seconds, giving Pinkie a no-nonsense glare.

"Alright. Goodnight, Philly."

"Night, Pinks."

I looked at Rainbow as Pinkie and Lightning went upstairs. Two other ponies were down here, the rest were upstairs.

"Gute nacht, Rainbow."

"What? Nevermind. Night."

Author's Notes:

I wanted to get this out on Thanksgiving so I could wish you all a happy turkey day, but I just kept writing, and I wasn't gonna be happy until it was done.

Personally, I think it was hilarious, creepy, and awesome at the same time.

Chapter 18

I opened my eyes. The clock said 8:00. 'Only five hours? Bummer.'

I groaned. I wasn't getting back to sleep, unfortunately. I guess that's fine.

I yawned, still tired. I looked around. First one up. I hate it when this happens.

The mares downstairs were sprawled out in random positions, and Twilight was the only one who's blanket was completely on her anymore.

I stretched myself out, and decided to wait until somepony else got up before doing anything.

I got comfy again and relaxed.

'Last night was crazy, man. Should do it again sometime.'

'They're all asleep. Now would be a perfect time to take their essences.'

'Nah.'

'What?'

'Nah, it'll be fine.'

'What are you saying?'

'We'll get it later.'

'Right now would be perfect.' she said, getting angry.

'Hey... You know everything's gonna turn out alright.'

Twilight started to stir. She gave me a brief look, and I waved at her.

"Good morning."

"Hey."

'You... idiot. They're waking up.'

'We wouldn't have had enough time anyways. Just a little longer.'

'I don't understand. What are we waiting for?'

'We can always call another slumber party together. We need to get the other ingredients, first. Before we do anything, though, I need to heal.'

'I've been very patient, child. I've waited long this already, but I am beginning to grow tired of it. Don't push your luck.'

I stopped talking to her, and thought to myself. 'She's losing patience. I don't know how much longer I can keep her calm. I'm losing time.'

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I would have to follow her commands. I needed to think of something before I was forced to do something I didn't want.

I lightly shook my head. Not now. Ten days. I have ten days.

I got up and walked to the stairs. No noises. Must still be sleeping.

I laid back down. 'Fun.'

Twilight was up already, but I didn't really wanna hang out right now. Staying up until three was stupid. I was so tired.

I yawned again. 'Fun... tacular.'

I stared at the ceiling for a while. Have you ever stared at your ceiling? Like really stared at it? Like you're gonna give it the business. And your walls. Some shifty guys, right there...

Have you ever to stopped to think about how many walls you come in contact with per day? Probably more than three.

I got lost in thought for a while. Right up until I saw a cute, pink face looking right at me.

"Pinkie!"

"That's me!"

"Oh. I thought I was Pinkie."

"Then can I be Phil?"

"No, I'm Phil."

"But I thought you were Pinkie."

"I don't think everything's adding up here."

I stood up and hugged her. 'Now it's funtacular!'

"I'm tired."

"We're all tired."

"Yeah well... I'm Phil."

"I thought I was Phil."

"Who am I? What is me?"

"Aren't you Phil?"

"Probably."

"I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry."

"No, I'm always Phil."

"I thought you were Pinkie."

"Maybe we're both Pinkie."

"No wait, I'm Phil."

"No, you're Pinkie."

"Then you must be Rainbow Dash."

"What are you two talking about? I'm Rainbow Dash."

"No, you're Pinkie."

"No I'm not. She's Pinkie."

"No, that's Phil."

"You're Phil!"

"Stop it!"

"What kind of a name is that?"

"My name is Rainbow Dash!"

"Then who is she?"

"I'm Phil."

"He's Phil!"

"So I'm Pinkie?"

"Yes. Yes you are."

"So am I Rainbow Dash?"

She stared at me with a stoic expression.

"So, who's hungry?" she said, trying to change the subject.

"I am!"

"No, you're Pinkie."

"Wait... Aren't I Phil?"

Rainbow let out an angry whine, and we both started laughing at her.

"Lets have pancakes!" said Pinkie.

"Yeah! Nothing like the smell of pancakes in the morning. Smells like victory."

"C'mon, lets go make some pancakes." she said, pulling me into the kitchen.

"I'm not leaving you two alone." said Twilight, walking in after us.

"Aw, you're no fun. You know, making pancakes can get pretty messy. If some of it got on me, I wouldn't complain if somepony licked it off."

"Out!" Twilight shouted, lifting me up and throwing me through the door.

I laughed, then stood up, quietly singing, "Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes, pancakes." I froze in realization.

"Is something wrong?"

"Pancakes... are cakes... made in a pan! Why haven't I put that together before? And cupcakes are cakes in cups! Wait, I already knew that."

I went back to my quiet singing, happily trotting around the room.

"Ok..."

Twilight came out with a small tray of pancakes, syrup, and butter, then went back into the kitchen.

I grabbed one and ate it with my hooves like the animal I was. Ponies grabbing! Cannot compute!

Pancakes are awesome.

She came out a few more times. Pinkie came out with her, and walked over by me.

"She made me clean myself off."

I wrapped my arm around her. "Don't worry. We'll find something even tastier."

"Like syrup?"

"Oh, not just syrup. Chocolate sauce and whipped cream and..."

Twilight was glaring at us.

"Anyways, I'm getting some more." I said.

This time, I got a plate and put lots of pancakes and syrup on it.

I put it on a table and stared at it, awed by the majestic presence of it.

I smiled, then dug my face into it.

"Go man, go!"

Just minutes later, the plate was empty. Did I say minutes? It took less than one.

"Now that's some good stuff."

"You're all covered in syrup. Here, let me..."

"No!"

We both looked at Twilight. Pinkie's tongue was half out of her mouth.

"No licking."

"At least not around us."

"You're not helping, Rainbow."

"Yeah, keep that stuff to yourselves."

Twilight looked at him and was about to say something, but stopped herself, and took a deep breath. "Just not right now."

"Alright. I'll be back."

I went to wash my face off.

"Twilight's acting weird." Pinkie said to me when I came back.

"Yeah. Lets tone it down for now."

"Good idea."

"So everypony, good morning!" I said cheerfully.

"How was breakfast?"

"It was great."

"Yeah, thanks Pinkie."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Hey, I gotta get going." said Lightning.

"Yeah. Ah gotta get back home, too."

"Alright. See ya later."

Everypony started to leave, until just Twilight and us two were here.

"I need to talk to you two. Look, I think it's great that you two are together and all, but I just don't think that you shouldn't be doing these kinds of things."

"What kinds of things?" asked Pinkie.

"Well... you know."

"What do I know?"

"Uh... Pinkie, is this necessary?" I asked.

"If she won't say it, then I want to."

"Pinkie..."

"Alright, I'll say it. You don't want us to have sex?"

Even I was surprised when I heard her say that.

"No, no I don't."

"Why not?"

"What if something happens?"

"Like what?"

"Well, what if you get pregnant?"

Oh... We're going here already.

"Would that really be a bad thing?" she replied, "I love kids!"

"Well... No, I... Pinkie, don't try to make light of it. This is serious!"

"I know it's serious."

"It doesn't really seem that way."

"What about you?" she asked me.

"Uh..."

"He'll be fine. Won't you?"

"I..."

"I bet you're great with kids!"

"I'm... ok with kids. Sometimes they really push my buttons, though."

"Huh?"

"My brother has a few kids, and whenever they come over..."

"You have a brother?!"

"Yeah..."

"Do you have a sister, too? How many?"

"I have two sisters. And two brothers."

"That's more than I have! Wait, what was that about your brother having kids?"

"Yeah. He's got four boys. And my sister has a little girl. I used to like kids, but one of my brother's kids has been getting on my nerves recently." 'Were we all annoying as children?'

"Oh, that doesn't mean anything. Is your family nice? What are their names?"

"Uh, Pinkie? Twilight's trying to scold us."

"Oh, sorry Twilight!"

Twilight cleared her throat. "As I was saying..."

"What exactly are you saying?" asked Pinkie.

Twilight gave her a somewhat annoyed look. "Phil, how old are you?"

"17."

"What? I thought you were 16! Why didn't you tell me that you had a birthday?!"

"Well it... It was when I was in that prison."

"Now I have to make a cake and..."

"Twilight still has something important to say."

"You're only 17. Isn't that a little young for this?"

"I'm only 23. Does that make me young, too?"

"He's not the only one I'm talking to, Pinkie. You just said that you thought he was 16. That's even worse!"

"Well it's not like it would be any different if I were 22, would it?"

"So what else is bugging you, Twilight?" I said, avoiding this grey area of thought.

"Even if you look like this now, you're still a human. Isn't this weird to you?"

"Not really."

"At all?"

"No, it's fine to me. Do you have a problem with it?"

"Well, it's just... weird."

"If it involves Pinkie, it's bound to be weird. Same goes for me, really. So... Weird squared."

"Weird cubed."

"Yeah, I count as two."

"I thought I counted as two."

"Maybe we both count as two. Anyways Twilight, if you still have a problem with all this, maybe you should ask Princess Celestia about it."

"That might be a good idea. The only problem is, I don't think I wanna leave you two alone just yet."

"Alright, we'll come with you, then."

"But Phil..."

"We got all day to be alone. I don't think this'll make a difference."

"You never know."

"Good point. Are you coming?"

She sighed.

"Something wrong?"

"Well... I guess not."

I smiled. "C'mon, this won't take long."

"Alright."

We followed Twilight through the town. Nyeh... morning air is chilly.

I understood why she was trying to do this, but it was a bit unavoidable if you ask me. Teenage guy, any woman, alone. Do the math, win yourself a ham sandwich.

'Mmm... ham... Meat. I wonder what pony tastes like... Oooh, I wonder what Pinkie tastes like. I bet Applejack tastes like apples. Maybe Big Mac does. What? Do the Princesses taste any different than a regular mare? I'll have to do some tests. I'll have to ask Pinkie, first. Sure she'd... wanna come with.'

I bumped into Pinkie while I was lost in thought. We had stopped.

'Huh? What'd I miss?'

A few other ponies were staring at a somewhat familiar looking gryphon. She was harassing a fruit vendor.

"Hey, leave him alone!" Twilight said with a sternness in her voice.

She turned to us. "I know you. You're Rainbow's friends."

"Hello, Gilda!" said Pinkie, a smile across her face."

"You're the one I remember the most."

"Aww, I missed you, too."

"What? I didn't miss you!"

I took a step towards her. 'Gryphon: check.' My mind started wandering again. 'I wonder what she tastes like. Maybe chicken. I hate chicken. Fried chicken. And grilled, now that I think about it. I had a grilled chicken shit in a wrap from Mcdonalds once and just about threw it up. Teriyaki, though. That's some good stuff.'

Pinkie tapped me, and I focused again. "Hey, what's up?"

"Huh?"

"Name's Phil. What about you?"

"Uh... Gilda. Who the heck are you?"

"Again, Phil."

"No, I mean, why should I care?"

"Well, you're bothering one of my friends, and I'd like you to stop."

"Oh, is that all?"

"Well, yeah. Pretty much. Bother somepony else."

"Like you?"

"Like you'd be able to bother me."

"I can, and I will." She looked at my arm. "What happened to you?"

"I survived a cave-in. The floor collapsed under me, and I got all beat up."

"Whoa... That's kinda cool. If you weren't hanging around these two, I'd think that you were pretty cool."

"Yeah, yeah..." I stared at her for a few moments. "I forgot what I was doing. Twilight, what am I doing?"

"I... don't really know."

I turned to her and ignored the gryphon. "Then what was I doing before this?"

"We were going to my house."

"Oh yeah. Why am I talking to you?" I asked Gilda.

"What? You're the one who..."

"Hey, so what're ya doing in Ponyville? Visiting somepony?"

"I'm trying to find Rainbow Dash. I'm sure you've heard of her, considering you're hanging around these two losers."

"Hey!"

"Well, you're not doing a very good job. I don't know if that's Rainbow." I leaned to the side and looked at the vendor, then slipped on the snow and fell over. "In fact, I'm almost positive it's not her. Almost."

"I... I'm not... Could you get her out of here, please?"

I looked at her. "Don't worry, she'll show up."

She rolled her eyes. "Lame." She took off.

"Well that was fun."

"It's always great seeing an old friend." said Pinkie.

"Yeah! Lets go to that place that we talked about. Sorry about that, man."

"I'm just happy she's gone."

"Well, lets go, I guess."

'How exactly do you plan on getting her talons?'

'Long range, lets do this.'

I stared at the rapidly fading gryphon as I used a spell. I managed to cut off the nails without her notice, and darted them through the air towards a nice hiding place near Sugarcube Corner. Levitating is easy, cutting is not. I felt a little tired.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothin'. Just eating."

"What?"

"I think he said eating."

"I heard what he said. You're not eating."

"No, you're not eating!" I said to her, completely serious.

"He has a point. You aren't eating."

"You're not eating either!"

"Yes I am."

"I was talking to... Are you going to do this all day?"

"Maybe." I let out a small laugh. "Onwards!"

'That was easier than I thought it would be.'

'Yeah.'

'Now we need the scales of a dragon.'

'That... probably won't be easy. Ten or so days and I can take the cast off, then it'll be maybe a week until I'm back to 100%.'

'Then you will finish your job.'

'I'll do what I do.'

We went to Twilight's house. While she wrote her letter, Pinkie and I snuggled against each other.

Twilight started talking to us again. "You two are really close to each other."

"Yeah."

"You know, I'm happy for you. I really am."

"Wait, Phil and Pinkie Pie are... together?" asked Spike.

"That's right."

He looked at us, then rubbed his eyes. "Well, I think that's enough waking up for today. Goodnight, everypony."

"Night!" I said cheerfully.

"No, you have to stay here. Princess Celestia could send us a letter."

"Alright, fine."

"What do we do now, Twilight?" asked Pinkie.

"Well, that's not really for her to decide, is it, Pinkie?"

"Of course not, but we should still listen to her."

"So no matter what I say, you're going to ignore me?"

"Pretty much."

Spike burped out an emerald flame, and a letter appeared from it. Twilight opened it up, and read it aloud to us. It was mostly about true love and stuff like that. Boring stuff that I was probably gonna ignore anyways. Spike left the room to go back to sleep or something.

In the end, I think she said that she didn't have a problem with it, and neither should Twilight.

Twilight read it over again, and said, "I suppose that if this is what the Princess says, then I should be ok with it. I should, but I don't know if I am."

"It's alright, Twilight. You don't need to worry about anything."

"Yeah, everything's the same as before, isn't it?"

"Not really." She let out a sigh. "I just want to say that I don't think it's..."

"You just don't like the idea of one of your friends having this kind of a relationship. It's too sudden, right?"

"I... That's pretty accurate."

"I'm good at reading ponies." Totally a guess. Educated guess. Hypothesis. Hyponypothesis. Course, it helps that I'm in a cartoon world.

"Is that what's been bothering you?"

"Don't worry about anything, Twilight. Nothing's gonna happen. I promise."

"Aw, really?"

"Pinkie, you're acting all silly. I'm not saying there won't be any of this..." I started nibbling on her ear.

"That tickles."

"'Cause I like doing that. But I am gonna promise that nothing is gonna happen."

Pinkie actually seemed pretty bummed out when I said that, but she gave Twilight a nod in agreeance. "You don't have a problem with kissing, do you?"

"Of course not. Just try to tone it down a little."

"No problem."

"Thank you. I'm glad we've come to an agreement."

"Yeah. C'mon, Pinks. Lets get out of here."

"I'm coming."

Author's Notes:

Sorry this hasn't updated in like two years. I still think about it from time to time but until I finish what I'm working on I don't think I can do this. This story needs to be edited from the ground up.

If you've stuck around for these 18 chapters, then thanks for reading, but unfortunately, there won't be more for a long time to come.