To Build a Family
Pain… that was the first thing that registered to Scootaloo. Pure pain. She barely managed to open her eyes as she looked about the room she was in - recognising a hospital room, she groaned.
“Oh! You’re awake!” a voice spoke from out of her vision. A white unicorn with a stethoscope for a cutie mark soon came into view. “I’m Doctor Good Health, I’ve been your primary doctor during your stay here at the hospital.” His voice was a gentle low timbre as he approached the bed levitating a chart in front of him.
“Wh-where am I?” Scootaloo asked quietly. Ouch, even talking hurt.
“You’re currently in the pediatric ward here at the Royal Canterlot Hospital. You were transferred here by the princess’ from Ponyville. You’re one lucky filly to have such friends that care about you.”
Looking around once more, Scootaloo realised, apart from the doctor, she was alone in the room. As her nerves began to rise, she started to get slightly worried about being alone in the Capital, she asked Dr. Health if any of her friends were here.
“Miss Dash and her friends arrived earlier; don’t worry, you’ll see them soon.”
“Please, can I see Rainbow… please?” Scootaloo asked quietly, remembering how at one time Rainbow had said that if she was ever ill, all she had to do was to get someone to ask for her, and she’d be there.
“Not yet. You can’t just seek them on a whim. But you’ll be allowed to see her soon.”
“No! I want to see Rainbow!” Scootaloo burst out heatedly. She couldn’t understand why this doctor wasn’t letting her see Rainbow, the only pony who she felt ever truly cared about her.
“Young lady, will you please calm down?!” the Doctor asked with a slightly stern tone.
Scootaloo tried to back away from him as he spoke, she knew what happened next. If she stayed calm, she wouldn’t be hurt. But with the way he spoke, if she didn’t, she would be… disciplined.
“S-sorry s-sir,” she squeaked out, causing him to look up from his paper-work, his face startled at her change in attitude.
“Oh horseapples…” he murmured, before setting her chart down and backing away from the bed.
“Easy there, young one, I’m sorry if I scared you, I’m not gonna hurt you. The only time there’s pain with me, is when I’m trying to heal ponies, okay?” he asked quietly.
Scootaloo nodded, she knew what he meant of course. Sometimes, when a pony was hurt, helping them heal hurt them as well, usually they were better afterwards... most of the time.
Finally able to move a little, she looked around, before looking down towards herself. Seeing the casts on her legs and feeling the bandages around her wings... wait! Wing?!
Her head whipped around to look at her side. There, where the bandage should be bulging out, was nothing but a thin red line. Panic starting to roar through her system. ”M-my wing?” she gasped out.
The doctor moved closer. “I’m sorry, little one, there was nothing we could do,” he told her as she shook her head.
Scootaloo’s mind began to race, her mind not being able to comprehend the loss of a wing. ‘No, no, no no..’ “NO, NO, NO, NO!” she cried out as her inner turmoil became vocal. She threw herself off the bed before charging to the door, or at least trying too before her legs collapsed.
“Where’s Rainbow?! Twilight!” she screamed out, trying to pull herself along the floor. But was soon engulfed in a magical field and deposited back on her bed.
“Now you stop that!” the doctor said sternly, but not unkindly.
“WHERE’S DASH?!” Scootaloo shouted.
“I’ll send for her in a minute, now please… calm down!” Dr. Health said, but by now Scootaloo was far too panicked to listen. Trapped by this strange unicorn, away from her friends, away from Ponyville - she was terrified.
Doing the last thing she could think of, she called out at the top of her voice, even as the doctor started pulling restraints across her, “DAAASH! I WANT RAINBOW!”
“Please… calm down,” the Doctor pleaded, pulling another restraining strap across Scootaloo, pinning her head to the bed along with her body just as the door to the room opened with a resounding crash.
Scootaloo eyes, wide in fear, couldn’t see a thing. She nearly didn’t recognise the voice that spoke with the rage contained within, “What. The. Buck. Are. You. Doing. With. MY DAUGHTER!”
Rainbow’s voice rang out in the room along with the sound of deliberate hoof steps before coming into Scootaloo’s sight, placing a wing over her as she stared at the doctor.
-o.O.O.o-
“DAAASH! I WANT RAINBOW!” echoed into the corridor, causing Rainbow to jump through the doors to a sight that made her blood boil.
There, strapped down so she couldn’t move, was Scootaloo. The unicorn was tightening the last strap forcing her head down. Her violet eyes wide with fear.
Rainbow could not remember any time she had been this angry before. She completely disregarded the orderlies words as she started stepping forwards. Her words forced their way up her throat as she moved next to the bed, good wing extended over Scootaloo as she waited for an answer.
“Sh-she was panicking, Miss Dash,” the doctor tried to tell her, as Rainbow turned to undo the restraints. However, before she could a magical field about the straps stopped her.
“I’m afraid I can’t let you undo those until she’s calmed do-” he was cut off as Rainbow shot forwards and threw the unicorn against the wall, her hoof flush against his neck as she spoke in a quiet, yet dangerous tone.
“You will let me release my daughter, now!” she grated out, but still the Unicorn still held firm.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that until she calms down.”
Rainbow glared at him, before pressing a bit harder. “Let. Her GO!”
“I’m sorry but n-” he started but was cut off by a voice from the side of the bed. Twilight stood on the other side of the bed - glaring at the Doctor.
“I did not carry Scootaloo on a litter, fly through a bucking cyclone, and then break the sound barrier for her to be restrained and scared out her mind! You want her to calm down? Then do as Rainbow asks,” she told him.
“I’m sorry, Princess, but I can’t grant that request,” the Doctor told her as Rainbow backed away and moved to Scootaloo, wincing when she saw the fire in Twilight’s eyes.
‘Rather you than me. Idiot,’ Rainbow thought towards the unicorn.
Twilight lit her horn up, pulling in her magic as purple glow surrounded the straps on the bed, completely snapping them in half. No sooner were they off when Rainbow picked Scootaloo up and carefully sat in the chair. She held the trembling filly close; glaring to the doctor, listening as Twilight reprimanded the doctor.
“I did not realise I gave you the impression it was a request. Next time I tell you to do something. Do It.” Twilight finished, a tone of command in her voice that Rainbow had never heard before, yet almost had her jumping to attention.
“Y-yes! Your Highness!” the doctor replied as he backed away to the door before Twilight spoke once more.
“You May Go.”
The doctor fled.
Rainbow nodded her thanks to Twilight, who had collapsed upon the other chair near her as soon as the doctor left. Looking down to the fear filled filly in her arms, Rainbow started to gently run her hoof through Scootaloo’s mane, quietly singing a song to let Scootaloo know just how much she was there for her. Scootaloo’s trembling lessened, yet didn’t stop.
Holding her close Rainbow slipped a hoof under the filly’s chin, lifting it so she could see her tear streaked face. “Scoots, it’s okay, I’m here now, an’ I ain’t goin anywhere. You don’t have to hide no more.”
Scootaloo’s eyes widened at this statement before the words impacted and the little filly fell against Rainbow, sobbing against her as she cried out, “Y-you wo-won’t w-w-want m-m-m-meeee!”
Rainbow gently enfolded Scootaloo in her arms and bringing her good wing around, shielding Scootaloo. “Scoots, it’s okay, I know. I know what’s happened, okay?” she said quietly, before continuing to the sniffling orange ball of fur, “not only that, but even after I knew, I still adopted you.”
Scootaloo’s head shot up as her cries slowed, eyes wide, her purple gaze bored into Rainbows magenta orbs.“Y-you mean it?” she asked her quietly, almost as if she didn’t dare to believe it.
“I do Scoots. Your father can’t hurt you no more, and if you want, I’ll be your Momma Dash.” Rainbow said quietly, not noticing the other ponies who’d entered the room. The only pony she was worried about, was sat right here in her lap.
Scootaloo’s face lit up with a huge smile as she threw herself into Rainbow. “Yesyesyesyes!” she gasped out into Rainbows blue fur, tears falling against her as Rainbow carefully ran a hoof through her mane.
Spitfire approached the chair after looking towards Twilight for permission. “Hey kid, I’ve got a surprise for you,” Spitfire said quietly, causing Scootaloo to look around, eyes widening when she saw who had spoken.
Rainbow chuckled with the expression the normally ‘cool acting’ filly was pulling, it reminded Rainbow of her own reaction at the Best Young Flier contest a few years ago.
Spitfire smiled knowingly at Rainbow, before looking back to Scootaloo. “First off, kid, your new mom is now a lieutenant in the Wonderbolts. She proved to me she was ready for the responsibility when, without hesitation, she was willing to leave the Wonderbolts so she could adopt and raise you.”
Scootaloo looked back to Rainbow Dash who could feel the blush on her cheeks, but ignored it to smile and nod her head. “Hey, don’t worry about it, Scoots, you are more important to me than any uniform,” Rainbow said quietly, deciding that honesty over coolness was needed here.
Rainbow saw Spitfire nodding her agreement, before the captain continued, “Secondly, we would like to make you an honorary Wonderbolt, Scootaloo. That is, if you’ll have us?” Spitfire continued quietly, Soarin’ stepping up next to her with a smile.
Scootaloo's smile was only rivaled by those of Pinkie Pie's proportions! “Really?! You mean it!” Scootaloo squeaked.
Spitfire nodded with her own small smile. “Sure thing, I’ll see you when you’re all better and come visit okay?”
Scootaloo nodded and leaned back against Rainbow, being careful of her casts. She watched as Spitfire and Soarin’ left.
Waiting until the two lead Wonderbolts had left, Rainbow turned to Twilight, nodding towards her saddlebag. Twilight levitated it over so that Rainbow could reach it with one hoof, without displacing Scootaloo. Reaching in she grabbed the form and held it in front of Scootaloo’s face so the little filly could read what was on it.
Adoption Certification
This form certifies that the young colt/filly Scootaloo is now under the Legal Guardianship of Mr/Mrs/Miss Rainbow Dash who has been cleared to be the aforementioned colt’s/filly’s adoptive parent.
Should Mr/Mrs/Miss Rainbow Dash at any time in the future, for any reason become unable to continue to care for the colt/filly Scootaloo then guardianship and all responsibilities shall be held dually by Mr/Mrs/Miss Applejack and Mr/Mrs/Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie.
Signed 1: Princess Twilight Sparkle - Princess of Magic
Signed 2: Princess Luna - Princess of The Night
“Is th-this for real?” Scootaloo asked quietly, looking at the form. Rainbow smiled down to the bruised and battered young filly, who leaned back in to Rainbow as she looked about the room smiling. Scootaloo buried her head in Rainbows fur once more, her next word bringing emotional tears throughout the room.
“Mummy.”
-o.O.O.o-
Twilight looked on with a smile as a couple of happy tears fell from her eyes, it was easy to see how much that word meant to Rainbow. It was obvious to all the ponies left in the room just how much Rainbow truly cared for Scootaloo - it was unfortunate that the realisation came at such a cost, but now she could at least start to heal. And maybe, just maybe, Rainbow would be able to learn to show her own emotions better.
Wincing as she adjusted her sprained wings, she went up to the two emotional pegasi, resting a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder.
“Hey, I’m sorry… but I really need to go lie and down again - I’ll just be next door if you need me.” Rainbow nodded with a smile on her teary face as she mouthed the word ‘thank you’ to her. Twilight just smiled and nodded before turning and leaving the room.
Returning to the room she shared with the other princess’ she climbed on the bed, not noticing the others were awake, at least until Luna spoke, “Is everything okay, Twilight? Mine ear’s did detect your voice using a tone very rarely heard from thee.” Twilight looked up to the concerned alicorn as Luna continued, “I was about to come to thine aid, yet our sister prevented us, she told us that if thou didst need our help we would know?”
Twilight looked between the three alicorns with a gentle smile, before relating what had happened. Originally, all that the three had known was that they had heard Rainbow’s loud voice reverberating through the wall. She had been screaming about letting Scootaloo go. Twilight had leapt from her bed and shot out of the room.
She told them of what she’d seen as she entered the room before chuckling. “Believe me, I don’t think I ever want to get on the wrong side of Rainbow’s maternal instincts. She didn’t realise it, yet when she pinned the doctor it like he was a paperweight; she was using her injured arm!”
She carried on to let them know about Scootaloo’s realisation that she truly had a family that loved her at last, and not one that would abuse her.
“I swear, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room when she finally called Rainbow ‘Mummy’”
*Sniff* Twilight looked up to see all three princess’ eyes were now welling up - Luna’s more so. After levitating a couple of tissues over to them, she waited for the three to regain control of themselves.
“We are sorry, Twilight. It’s just for Scootaloo, this has been her dream for so long. She has wanted Rainbow to see her as a daughter for ages.” Twilight smiled at this, it seemed that one little filly’s dream had come true.
-o.O.O.o-
*Knock-Knock* Two days later, Rainbow was roused from sleep in the guest room that she was sharing with Fluttershy when Twilight Velvet -- Twilight Sparkle’s mother -- called through that breakfast would be ready in half an hour.
“Oh, okay.” Rainbow heard Fluttershy’s whisper and chuckled, it had been so quiet that she had hardly heard it.
“Thanks!” Rainbow called out loud enough to be heard as she stretched, wincing as the tendons where her wing had been dislocated were still sore.
She thanked her lucky stars that the doctor at Ponyville General knew the bone-knit spell. It was a shame that it was unsafe to use on young ones, or Scoots would be out of her casts now.
Fluttershy had gotten out of the bed and had made her way to the en suite room while Rainbow was still pulling herself together. The rainbow maned pegasus went to the little clothes chest that had been delivered yesterday by courier to her surprise.
She opened it to pull out one of her new Wonderbolt Uniforms. This wasn’t a flight suit, but more along the lines of Captain Spitfire’s suits, only major differences being instead of the Captain’s rank on the epaulettes, it was the Lieutenants.
She was surprised when she spotted she had got three “Courage Above The Line of Duty” ribbons and two ribbons that indicated medals of “Honourable Duty” had been awarded. Something that she would be asking the Countess Lady Twilight Sparkle - Princess of Magic - about later.
Snorting a laugh at that, she couldn’t help the smirk at how embarrassed Twilight was when Celestia had suggested that her mother - the Baroness Velvet - would be delighted to see her daughter and her friends as they weren’t in Canterlot for a battle… this time.
Finding out that Rainbow’s down to earth friend had been nobility had been one of the most shocking things she’d ever found out. Yet, she didn’t really mind. The thing that did make her blood boil, however, was when she thought about what Twilight Sparkle’s father - Night Light - had informed them last night:
Prince Blueblood had been promised Twilight’s hoof in marriage to join the Families.
-Flashback-
Night Light hadn’t expected the vehemence of their reactions when he had said he had been happy to accept the betrothal from such a well placed family. Twilight fled the table in tears with her mother following, looking at Night Light in disgust.
The others in the room had made their opinion of the stallion who would barter his daughter for prestige well known.
Rarity and Applejack though had said it best when Rarity looked directly at the stallion.
“You sir have sold your daughter to a stallion who has NO principals, will treat her as low as the dirt on his hoof, and will insist that she submits to his whim. I hope for your sake there is an out in that contract.” With that she and the group had left the table.
Applejack had then looked at the stallion as she spoke, “Ah don’t get it. You said to Twiliht you love her an’ miss her. Then ye take her choice away of who she’ll marry? Ahm jus’ a farmpony but ah know you’d hate anyone who’d force themselves on Twah, then you force a stallion on her? You can ferget bein’ welcome in Ponyville when this gets aht.”
Fortunately, by the time they got up to Twilight’s room, Fluttershy had read over the contract and had spotted an obvious loophole that Twilight could readily use.
“Should one of the aforementioned parties be proven to be unacceptable to the other through word, deed, action or inaction then the other party may break off the betrothal.”
Rarity had readily agreed to allow Twilight to use how Blueblood had treated her at the Grand Galloping Gala as the reason. Twilight had been so relieved that she had completely broken down in the room as her father had walked in to hear her whispering her thanks to Rarity and Fluttershy before turning to her father, eyes still red rimmed.
“Why?” Was all she’d asked but the broken tone she’d said it told everypony the depth of hurt that she was feeling. Rarity moved closer to the Alicorn and nuzzled her neck, trying to offer some comfort.
Night Light had stood proud as he answered, “I did it for the family, think how well connected our two houses will be! You must not use that clause I forb-” *CRACK* A magical blow struck the unicorn stallion, rocking him back; Twilight’s horn was still glowing.
“Get out of my home,” a deathly cold voice that shouldn’t have been possible from the sweet tenderness of Twilight’s mother.
“I beg you pardon?!” Night Light said as Rainbow kept looking between the three like some strange tennis match.
“You married into this family under the same contractual clause. I am using it now.
I want you gone. Leave, no pony, not even you have the right to treat MY DAUGHTER Like that! She’s not even YOUR CHILD!” She screamed out.
“See here mare! I shall not be spoken to like thi-” Rarity sent a bolt of lightning from her horn, forcing Night Light to shield as Twilight stood and stepped between her… Stepfather?… and her friends.
“Well. You can stand and fight us, Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, one who is the Princess of Magic, Defendor from Discord, Rescuer of Princess Luna from Nightmare Moon, Saviours of the Crystal Empire, and Victors of The Battle for Canterlot against the Changeling Empire... Or You can leave. In. One. Piece!”
As she finished, her horn flared while Rarity stepped up next to her, her own horn lit. Flanking either side of them were Applejack and Pinkie Pie with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash standing at opposite ends.
Night Light’s colour faded from his face when he realised the true danger he was in. Fleeing from where he stood, the sound of a bag of bits being summoned was shortly followed by the front door opening and slamming shut. Twilight collapsed, tears running freely. Rarity looked at her before she turned to the group.
“I think it best if everyone gives her and her mother some time.” They all nodded and went to leave when Twi’s hoof caught Rarity’s.
“S-Stay,” Twilight whispered looking to Rarity. The white unicorn had simply nodded and knelt down next to her as the rest left.
The last Rainbow had seen of Twilight that night was leaning into Rarity while the fashionista was whispering to her.
-End Flashback-
“EEP!” *CRASH* Was heard from the bathroom as Rainbow threw the uniform on the bed and flew into the room. She stopped dead at what she saw. The canary mare had obviously finished her shower as evidenced by the way the water clung to her sleek toned body.
‘Wait, whaaaaat?!’ Rainbow thought as she examined her previous thought.
Fluttershy had obviously gone to put some toothpaste on her toothbrush, slipped and dropped the toothpaste. As she landed she had somehow got the tube stuck up her nose and was currently looking cross eyed down her snout. Rainbow tried not to laugh, she really did, but when Fluttershy started laughing as she removed the tube, the blue pegasus lost it and fell to the floor in loud guffaws.
Thankfully, nothing more untoward happened as Fluttershy finished sorting herself out and nodded to Rainbow that it was safe to use the shower.
Twenty minutes later, a now uniformed Rainbow Dash was sat at the table with her friends, providing a good description as to what the ruckus was. Surprising them all though, was Fluttershy, as she poked fun at Rainbow, who hadn’t had any quick witted words to say when she first saw what had happened.
Rainbow’s face when Fluttershy of all ponies had a dig at her set the table to laughing once more. Shaking her mane Rainbow turned to Twilight who was sitting suspiciously close to Rarity, who didn’t seem to be bothered one whit.
“Oooh Counteeeesss!” Rainbow called over in a slight pitched teasing tone, grinning as Twilight’s eye twitched.
“Yes, Rainbow?” Twilight said quietly, in a tone that Rainbow knew too well.
“Eh *Gulp* Why does my uniform say I Got three ribbons for courage and two saying I got medals?”
Twilight blushed at this before she looked about the table as she spoke, “Technically, we’re a unit that reports to the Princess’, so we get the same honours as the guards. But the Princess didn’t want to make a big fuss as we’re ‘Civilians’. Except for you now, Rainbow.”
The Rainbow Dash of one week ago would have gone on about how awesome that was, the Rainbow of four days ago would have claimed Bragging Rights. But today’s Rainbow did neither, she just nodded and carried on with her breakfast. She looked up to see the shocked faces of her friends and the two CMC’s with them and snorted.
“Hey, I’ve got what I wanted with my dreams, I got nothing I need to prove anymore; I’m in the Wonderbolts, an’ I’m gonna work hard to be worthy of keeping that honour, but I got a bigger dream now. Be the mother that Scootaloo deserves.”
She said the last few words with such emotion that her throat choked for a moment, not noticing the emotional tears she’d instigated.
*Knock-Knock* “Royal Canterlot Guard!” was called through the door. This caused the ponies around the table to raise their eyebrows in surprise.
“I’ll get it,” Twilight said as she went to the door. Rainbow moved to watch from the doorway as Twilight went down the hall. She knew when the earth pony guards had spotted her, as they straightened up a bit smarter being Privates.
She shook her head internally at that. She would never get used to commanding ponies she thought.
“Miss Sparkle?” one of the guards said, casting a wary eye towards Rainbow as well.
“Yes?” Twilight answered. Before she could move, a magic suppressing horn ring had been put around her horn, and she was under arrest for forcibly removing the owner of the house from his property.
“HALT!” Rainbow shouted down the corridor before stalking towards the guards, remembering the posture and tone used by her Captain she tried to emulate it but in a way that was her own.
“Who gave the arrest warrant for a PRINCESS?” Rainbow demanded.
The guards looked to each other, and stayed silent.
“Well? I’m waiting,” Rainbow said pulling Twilight behind her.
“Er… That is it’s… orders from the Captain… yeah! Thats it!” one of the guards said, unconvincingly.
“Really?” Rainbow said with a glare.
The two nodded.
“Twilight, send a message to your brother,” Rainbow all but ordered. Twilight nodded as she went back inside. A moment later, Rainbow heard her dictating a letter and then there was a *woosh* as the grey smoke of bottled dragonflame left the doorway.
“If you two are correct when Shining Armour or Princess Celestia arrives, then okay. If not, I suspect they’ll want answers as to the illegal arrest of the Guard Captains sister!” ‘Damn that legal stuff they drill in the academy's useful. I won’t tease Twi about bein’ an egghead so much anymore,’ Rainbow thought as she watched the guards faces pale, which was quite impressive to do under the guard illusion that makes them all appear white.
Moments later, a Pegasus drawn carriage landed and Shining Armour stepped out, approaching the guards. He looked about and seemed surprised to see Rainbow Dash standing to attention.
“Report Lieutenant,” Shining Armour ordered.
“Sir. These two guards arrived approximately thirty minutes ago. When the Lady Sparkle confirmed her identity they put a Magic Suppressing Horn Ring on her, and informed her she was under arrest for forcible eviction of a house owner. I intervened and asked who signed the warrant as aside from yourself, only the Princess’ can sign the warrant on another Princess. They proceeded to claim it was on your authority.”
Shining Armour nodded, before he turned a glare to the now visibly worried guards.
“Okay, now the truth you two. I signed no such warrant,” he practically growled out.
“Sir. Lord Night Light told us he’d been barred from his home by his illegitimate daugh-”
“SILENCE!” Shining Armour roared out.
“Lieutenant Dash, Remove the Horn Ring from the Princess Twilight Sparkle. Immediately.” Rainbow nodded and turned back into the house silently. She was cursing her luck because she hadn’t even been in uniform an hour, and she was dealing with idiots. But thanking her luck because although she hadn’t been in uniform an hour, she had the authority to deal with said idiots.
Stepping into the drawing room where the rest were she moved straight to Twilight and within moments had the ring undone and removed. The Purple Princess sighed in obvious relief as her access to her magic was restored.
They could hear Shining Armour’s voice inside chewing the guards out when his voice rose to a thunder. “YOU TOOK HIS MONEY! PEGASUS GUARDS, RESTRAIN AND REMOVE THESE COLT-WANNABE-SOLDIERS TO THE BRIG IMMEDIATELY!”
Moments later Shining Armour entered still looking visibly angry before looking around.
“Sorry about that. it seems my… father… bribed those soldiers and would have had Twilight held elsewhere.” He looked straight to Twilight Velvet as he spoke the next words, “Mother, I have to ask, what the hay did you see in that Horseapple?!”
“Oi! Ahm jest a filly!” Apple Bloom shouted, making Shining Armour cough an apology to his mother’s approving nod.
Twilight Velvet seemed to shrug as she spoke.
“It was the same as he was about to do to your sister - a betrothal contract I had no choice over it. This is the first time he’s stepped out of bounds enough that I could break it.”
Shining Armour nodded. “Okay, I’ll have words with Grandfather Velvet about that later. For now, I need to head back to the castle.” He then turned to Rainbow. “Oh Rainbow, Princess Luna would like a word with you and Scootaloo’s doctor, ASAP!” Rainbow nodded, not quite getting the subtle order until Shining Armour rolled his eyes.
“That Rainbow means get your flank to the castle yesterday,” he said with a smile as Rainbow bolted out the house and took to the air, ignoring the twinge in her wing-joint. She’d flown on weather patrol every day with worse.
A few minutes later, she landed in the forecourt and made her way to where the Princess’ held their audiences. She expected to wait a while, but as soon as the guard at the door saw her enter he waved her forwards.
As the doors opened and a fuming Night Light was led out to the amusement of Rainbow, she was told to go in. “Ah! Lieutenant Dash, I asked to see you as I believe I have found a way to speed up young Scootaloo’s recovery. But it needs your permission as her mother.”
Rainbow raised her eyebrows at hearing this. If it needed her permission then it was probably dangerous.
“We have found the foal version of the spell that was used upon your own broken bones. However, as she is just a filly, the discomfort you felt would be magnified to a rather painful experience for her.”
Rainbow took a breath as she faced the princess who she knew Scootaloo had started calling ‘Aunty Luna.’ “Well, the fact you’re even considering it says you think she might be able to handle it, but you asking me instead of just going ahead tells me you’re uncertain.”
Luna nodded.
“Right, is there a spell you can cast on me that’ll simulate the amount of pain she’ll feel? If I know what she’ll go through I’ll know better whether I think she can handle it. But be warned even if I think she can and after it’s been explained if she say’s no, then I’ll withdraw my permission. She say’s stop at any time, then you stop the spell.” It didn’t matter to her that she was going head to head against the princess’ on this, the only thing that mattered to her was Scootaloo.
Luna smiled at her as she answered, “And with those words thou hast proven that thou are the mother she needs. I agree to all thy points. When do you want me to cast the spell that simulates the pain thy daughter shall feel?” Rainbow looked about the room and went over to one of the couches and lay on her front on it.
“Now,” she said with finality. Luna nodded as Celestia who had stayed silent through their exchange cast a spell that no sounds could be heard outside.
“Art thou ready?” Princess Luna asked. Rainbow nodded and closed her eyes.
She felt the spell impact her and grunted as the pain struck. It was more than she’d anticipated as she grit her teeth while her legs felt like they were being repeatedly stabbed with needles. Never mind her barrel, that felt like it was being pounded with a meat tenderiser!
Seconds later, it was over, and Rainbow gasped. “Damn! That hurt like Tartarus!” Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she looked up. “No way, no how! If you can at least half the pain, then maybe.”
It was at this point Celestia stepped forwards. “What about the pain-syphon spell? It is in two parts, one half is cast on the one known about to receive pain, the other half on one who will take all the pain the other’s feeling, leaving them without feeling any of it.”
Rainbow nodded, understanding what this implied.
“I’d go through a lot worse for her,” Rainbow smiled as she answered.
“We know,” Luna said. Still surprised at how fast Rainbow had healed once she’d had a couple nights sleep. “Okay, let us go see to Scootaloo,” Luna added, as she led Rainbow to the hospital that was on the grounds.
They hadn’t even fully entered the room when Scootaloo looked up to them. Her face showing all the signs of crying.
“Oh Scoots,” Rainbow breathed out going over to the little depressed filly and pulling her into her arms.
“Talk to me, what’s wrong?” Rainbow said quietly as Celestia and Luna hung back to give them the appearance of privacy.
“I-I don’t g-get it. W-why would Y-you w-want mmmee? I-I won’t ever b-be able to f-fly. I’m j-just gonna b-be a drain on you. J-just like my f-father said. I’m a drain. U-useless! W-whe I w-was born I k-killed my f-first mmommaaa!” Scootaloo wailed into Rainbows jacket as Rainbow held her, tears falling down her own face.
“Shh, I told you before Scoots, I ain’t ever gonna give up on ya. I don’t know about what your father told you, but I want you to listen to me now.” Rainbow pulled away from Scootaloo a little, and looked down into those depressed violet eyes that just days ago held so much life.
“It. Is. Not. Your. Fault,” Rainbow said quietly, emphatically. As she finished she pulled Scootaloo in to another hug, wrapping her wings about the filly.
“I promise you it isn’t scoots.”
“H-how can you know?” Scootaloo sniffled. Rainbow gently lifted Scootaloo up off the bed being careful not to aggravate her injuries before sitting in the chair by it settling Scootaloo on her lap.
She saw Luna and Celestia fighting tears at what they were hearing and nodded that they could come closer.
“I know because you were just a tiny foal when you were born. Whatever happened was not your fault,” Rainbow said, her own tears falling into Scootaloo’s purple mane.
“B-but h-he said I was born wrong! Tore something and made her bleed too much. That it’m my fault! An now you’re my mummy and - an I d-don’t wanna l-lose you tooo! Y-you’ll realise how much o-of a waste I aaam,” she cried.
Hearing the true fears that Scootaloo had Rainbow held the filly close. “Scoots, I promise you I will never ever regret adopting you. I wanted to be your momma for weeks before this happened. You are not a waste, you are my daughter and I love you,” she said, the truth shining through her words.
Both the princesses had come and sat by them at this point and could hear the filly’s crys slowing, before she spoke again, “B-bu-but I can’t even fly!” Rainbows eyes closed as she held back the emotions at hearing the pain in Scootaloo’s voice.
“I know Scoots… I know, okay? I still want you. I won’t ever abandon you. I promise.”
“P-Pinkie promise?” Rainbow had to smile at this little bit of Ponyville culture that had wormed it’s way into everypony’s lives courtesy of the pervasive pink party pony: Pinkie Pie.
“Pinkie Promise,” Rainbow said quietly, holding Scootaloo close.
While Scootaloo was distracted and holding on to Rainbow she nodded towards the Princess’ who with their own tears falling smiled and started the spells. Rainbow knew when the pain spell had taken effect. She felt like her own legs were broken, but she didn’t react in the slightest. She was not going to let Scootaloo feel even more guilty for something she couldn’t help.
Luna quickly cast the bone-knit spell and Rainbow had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying out, it took all her effort not to stiffen up or show signs of the pain she felt.
As soon as the spell was complete she felt Scootaloo become a completely relaxed and looked down to see she had fallen asleep. “She will sleep a while, although you may have taken her pain, you could not give of your energy for her.” It was with a gentle smile when Luna finished and stood up, leaning forwards to place a small kiss on scootaloo’s forehead before she backed away.
“Know this: thou doth have my full backing and mine trust in regards to thy guardianship of my pseudo-niece. Look after her well,” Luna said as Celestia stood and repeated Luna’s actions before she too spoke, “The same can be said for me.”
Her horn shone with a gentle golden glow as Scootaloo’s casts came off. Rainbow nodded and quietly promised them she would try to be the best mother she could.
“That is all we ask,” Luna said.
“That… and to babysit sometimes,” Celestia added with a smile as they left, leaving Rainbow no time to answer her.
Smiling, she lay Scootaloo down on the bed and sat back in the chair. She knew she would face many challenges as Scootaloo’s mother, but she silently swore to meet them head on.
Spotting that Scootaloo was shivering slightly in the draft, Rainbow carefully got up on to the bed and laid her wing over her as an extra blanket, before settling her head down between her hooves and letting her eyes close as she allowed herself to fall into a light sleep.
The end…?
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We edited this entire chapter in 3 hours, non stop!
~ Michael
i like the final chapter and why is there ...? with the end
3610368 Because... is this truly the end of this story?
~ Michael
3610399 i don't know is it
I really don't feel like that doctor In this chapter deserved to be yelled at, in the state that scootaloo was in, unless she was restrained she would have caused a lot of harm to herself
SO GOOD!!!
M,ORE YOU GODDAMN COMMUNISTIC PEACE OF DOG SHIT! MORE
So, anypony up for some cupcakes?
there fresh out the oven.
these brown ones are abusive father flavored, and the blue ones are serial killing doctor flavored.
Rainbow Dash will never give you up,
she'll never let you down,
she'll never run around and desert you.
3610452 This is true, he was doing it for protection. What he failed to realize was that he was the one who was causing Scootaloo to freak out. This doctor is most likely not experienced with working with children. I believe he did have good intentions, but his actions could have been better played out... You get what I'm trying to say?
~ Michael
3610679 Yummy! My favorite!
~ Michael
3610841
what you are understanding is true but scootaloo was freaking out first, and twilight failed to see things from a non biased standpoint, as should be required by a princess
3610899 She was freaking out because she was alone with a strange stallion. With her history with abuse and what is happening, that is what caused her to freak out.
The doctor saw that she was freaking out and went to the default of restraining her. This would be fine if she was an adult, but as a filly, this is a little extreme.
I think that twilight did act a little wrong, but if you walk in to see a doctor strapping a traumatized filly down for the simple reason of calming her down... This isn't how you treat children. As I said, this is just my opinion.
~ Michael
Dang it. I haven't shed this many manly tears since Whatever it Takes.
Wow, you want to invoke feelings into something, you now how to do it. Congrates on an awesome chapter. 
I had only one problem.
Ok, I am used to Blue Blood going after Twilight, (Heck, it just happened two chapters ago in Aliconundrum), but what I can't get behind is the idea of Night Light being the jerk that you make him out to be.
Again, this just happened in a similar way just two chapters ago, however, in that version, Night Light was drunk and tricked into doing it. He immediately regretted it and tried to get it changed. Night Light has been one of my favorite characters since Nyx's Family. Never have I seen him written in a way that makes him seem as bad as you made him out to be. I would not mind this so much if it wasn't for the fact that you kept bringing him up. I love this story but I just can't help but express my distaste for the mistreatment of such an amazing character. 
Anyways, Congrates on finishing such a long chapter in a short amount of time and for adding a song. It really helped add to the mood but I think it would have been better if it had been instrumental. I had to switch to Dearly Beloved after a few paragraphs due to it being hard to read while listening. Also Congrates to the Shadow Blades for their hard work as well. 3 hours for editing it ridicules.
3610944
To each their own
Sweet Celestia the feels! Also a hint of FlutterDash with a bit of Raitylight mixed in.
I think a sequel is in order
3611131 I agree! I cannot stress that fact enough! I respect that every person has their own opinion, and I only try and state mine. But I sometimes get a little carried away... Meh.
~ Michael
AMAZING. MOARRRR
I noticed quite a few things that didn't seem quite right in your story, so I decided to point them out. Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not being mean or anything, I'm just trying to help
1: The doctor in this last chapter was clearly just trying to help. If he didn't hold Scoots down like that, she might have injured herself even more. He did not deserve the scolding.
2: I spotted quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes along the way. (But its late and I'd rather not go through every single one)
3: The story escalated wayyyyyy too quickly.
4: All 4 Princesses, the Wonderbolts and many of the members of the Royal Guard would not all gather together and forget the rest of their duties for just one filly, Although this seems heartless, its true. Many ponies, like people, die everyday, and some die more painfully than others. If the Royal family and VIPs went through so much trouble for every pony on the verge of death, then Equestria wouldn't have a stable government and a lot of corruption and secret activity would go on without anypony noticing, eventually leading to problems much larger than the possible death of a single pony. No government would EVER go through that much trouble.
5: The elements of harmony are not that famous. Not many ponies know who they are and what they have done. For example, if Trixie knew that Twilight was an element of harmony (before she became a princess) she would have either mentioned something or not dared to even mess with her, and Flim And Flam had no clue that AJ is an element either. I don't even think her family knows. If many ponies did know, they would be threatened by many more villans, or discreetly attacked individually.
6: The travel distance from Ponyville to Canterlot isn't nearly as long as you made it out to be. If you look at the map of Equestria, Ponyville is very close to Canterlot, even closer than it is to Cloudsdale. Therefore, it would take very little time to get there and unless they are horribly unfit, the Princesses wouldn't collapse with exhaustion right after the flight, even if they were caring a filly. That isn't the only thing you exaggerated.
7: You did the whole "doctor/hospital staff being irresponsible" thing more times than necessary.
8: If Scootaloo was beaten up badly by her Father so often, the results would show in her both mentally and physically. She would be nothing like she is in the show. I know people who have been abused by their parents before, and even if they are brilliant actors (one is in my drama class) it still shows in the way they carry themselves, the way they speak and the way they interact with others. It's not that easy to cover up.
9: Scootaloo isn't one to struggle like that, and she wouldn't cower like that if she was being scolded by the doctor.Its just not like her. Twilight wouldn't have yelled at the doctor like that just because she saw him holding her down. She would have found out what actually happened and thought of the most rational way to act.
10: Every single Pegasus in Ponyville wouldn't just drop everything they are doing and rush to help like that without much notice. Scootaloo is not Pinkie Pie. I don't think every pony in Ponyville knows who she is. You've seen how some ponies in the show act. I don't think that many would care. Also, I'm sure many of them would have asked questions. It seems unnatural to not do so.
11: I did like that you involved Derpy like that, but the way she acted was still too OOC to me. Twilight, RD and the princesses were also OOC sometimes.
12: Twilight would not have called Cadence, Luna and Celestia "Princesses" when talking to them. She would have said "Your highnesses" or just "Are you ready?".
Okay, that's about it. I'm still halfway through the last chapter. I may or may not read it (it's late and I have a literature assignment to do) but if I do, I may edit this comment to correct stuff or leave it as it is.
Best wishes,
iCuddles.
P.S. Your writing style uncannily resembles mine before I started going for literature and writing classes. I'm sure that with enough practice and guidance, you'll be sure to shine. I can sense your capabilities. ~~~ ^^
P.P.S. Please don't be afraid to reply if you don't like my comments or if you can explain something that I may have missed. I don't bite
There are a few major problems with this chapter.
1) Twilight is a Princess and a co-Ruler of a nation. On par with power to Celestia, Luna, and Cadance. And with Horses being matriarchal in nature (with Mares being in charge of the Herds). There is no way in Tartarus that Night Light could've sold his daughter into marriage.
2) Twilight isn't a Countess or a Barroness. She's a Princess. Anything else is of lower rank. And while that might've passed if she wasn't a Princess. Being one makes her rank and title. Princess.
3) Princess isn't a Civilian. She's a ruler, and even without that rank she was born into the Aristocracy. Which means she isn't a civilian (a member of the lower classes), but is a noble. Which puts her in a class above commoners / civilians.
4) Blue Blood couldn't buy her hand in marriage legally. Otherwise Celestia, and Luna could've been bought like fresh deli meat at any time. And don't think that some power hungry d-bag wouldn't have done that if Princesses could be put into marriage without their consent.
5) This chapter was filled with too much stuff without any real reason for it. It was scattered, and could've waited until after this fic where the Sequel picks up. It made it an overall weak chapter.
_________________________________________
I pointed this out last chapter. When pointing out how to use southern dialect without slaughtering it to hell.
Ah'm = I'm. If you're going to use I've = Ah've. Ect.
______________________________________________
That being said. Even though this chapter should really be redone taking into 3612110 points as well. This was a somewhat decent fic with a great premise. I litterally could'n't read the last few paragraphs since it shattered the suspension of disbelief. And the whole "Oh, lets magically fix everything" could've waited to the sequel. You know build it up. Or even have Scoots with only one wing and show her heal with Dash over that. And maybe ... maybe two or three stories. Later fix things up.
Since that's the whole thing you were building up. Over several chapters. You know "Lets find a home near the ground"; "We'll be there for Scootaloo no matter what"; "Honorary Wonderbolt"; "She's going to need a long time to heal"; ect. Which would've been an amazing bit of character growth and group dynamics. Suddenly going "Lolnope. Just kidding". Feels cheap, and lessens the strength that you were building before you came out with this chapter.
I'll look at the sequel when it comes out, just to see if you can salvage this. But honestly I'm seriously disappointed.
you better net dare end it here! or luna will smite ye.
(this site need a luna emoticon)
Even though this story is obviously not taking most canon ideas into consideration i have to say this was OK (6-6.5/10).
Heres why:
1. Like the 2 below me said: a lot of the characters were OOC a lot in comparison to their canon characters.
2. i don't think you know how equestrian politics works... Equestria is not a feudal society, first off there are no peasants or nobility really. You could make the argument that in the episode Best Night Ever there were the unicorns who seem like nobility and you have the "princes" but in all honesty it would never be that formal and usually the nobility in the show (prince blueblood or prince shining armor) don't usually don't look down at the mane 6 and as you know they would look at the mane 6 as regular ponies since the elements of harmony are not that well known. That brings me into my 2nd point in that you seriously over emphasized the elements of harmony and their significance. If they were seriously that important then the higher class in Sweet and Elite would have not snobbed rarity like they did. Also Twilight may be a princess but the way the shows politics are shown, the ponies don't really have to answer to the princesses. They usually do so out of respect but they would never do so without that reason.
*sigh* It's just one jerk after the next isn't it?
Scootaloo's dad
The Doctors
A Doctor
A receptionist
A Doctor
Prince Blueblood
Night Light
I think you're overdoing it.
Please tell me you won't end it here. This story is great. It pulls at your heat. makes you feel the pain and sorrow, it's beautiful.
Why all males in your story are so bad? Scoot's father is complete dick, then Evil Doctor is totally evil, then Stupid Doctor who don't understand feelings of his patient, then Twi's father... are you sexist or something like that?
3612504 3612110I thank both for your honest criticisms, the only thing I have to point out to argue with your comments great eater is Scoots still only has one wing - the only thing the spells fixed were her broken bones, not the lack of a wing, sorry if that wasn't clear.
I'm sorry this disappointing you towards the end - I only hope when I do the sequel that you enjoy it, but seriously thank you for reading and reviewing.
3613337 dont worry there will be a sequel after I've finished Mutual Rescue, please not I have a few projects to do with the MTASverse see my blog post here for more information.
3613379
er no, and no and HELL no
This particular chapter I didn't like so much. You put too many jerk-asses in this. The guards, Twilight's... father, step-father? Sorry, I had a hard time following the events that were going on.
3613235
I agree.
3613485
Thats what i'm trying to say...its a good story but one of its major drawbacks is the overemphasizing of the EoH and the exaggeration on how powerful they really are.
3613747
Ah! Yeah as I said about the time they said they had a bone knitting and a pain removal spell I basically couldn't get myself to read it. Especially since the questions I had were breaking my ability to follow it. But I thought it was growing another wing.
OK so 4 Questions:
1) Why have that part at all? When her wing was amputated they would've by law gotten rid of bone shards and what not. There was no need to knit bones since all that was left was a knub that was fine by itself. All knitting would've done was put her through a large amount of pain for something her body would never need. It was already done when they removed the wing.
2) Multi-Parter:
Why do you call Twilight a Countess when she's a Princess and in Canon they called her that too (until Twilight asked them not to), and as Princess is not a Civilian. So why did she call herself a Civilian, and treat herself as a Civilian when she's now one of the three rulers of Equestria.
3) Why when it would be legally impossible for Twilight's father to sell her into Marriage. Did he do that? And why did Twilight weep instead of laugh when there is no way anyone can Marry her without her consent? Especially when it's been shown in the show that Marriage is not done via Dowry's but by consent to begin with?
and
4) Why did you throw in so many things into a chapter where people who look at the chapter title are thinking that it's about Scootaloo's start to a family?
But yeah sorry I couldn't finish this chapter at all. But I'm looking forward to the sequel. After all this had a rather consistent flow till here, and the sequel could be potentially interesting. Although I am disappointed in the lack of LunaXScootaloo friendshipping that the cover art made me think I was getting. But hopefully later stories will have Auntie Luna and Scootaloo hanging out.
3610679 me too! These are new flavours I haven´t taste yet!
LG
Egonuss
3614874
Answer to questions.
1) The bone knit spell was still needed for Scootaloo's three legs that were in casts.
2) Headcannon is that she was a Countess before princess - won't be epanding on this as it would contain spoilers for future stories.
3) Arranged marriages still have them in some cultures today - fact (Unfortunately)
Night Light was Twilights father and again his 'ability' to arrange her hoof in marriage will be covered in 'The Baroness and The Guard: Truth Behind Twilght’s Name' when I write it.
4) The additional things 'thrown in' are necessary for the overplot of the MTASVerse I'm building
3616478
1) Ah! Cool. That makes so much more sense.
2 and 3) Yes before she was Princess. But she wouldn't be called Countess or a Civilian now. Since she is in fact a Princess. It'd be like calling a King a Count. It's several lines of Peerage lower. And while yes arranged Marriages exist, A King can't be sold into marriage. Which in terms of rule, the Princesses are actually Queens in levels of power.
Her father while he might've aquired a level of Peerage, would be ranked beneath Twilight since she's the one who ascended and thus would be legally beyond arranged marriages. Since she is a Ruler of a country. I can't stress that enough. She has power to have say in Laws, movement of militaries, and the running of a country.
The only one who has as much power as she does is Celestia and Luna. Since Twilight is now part of a Triumvirate. But she's not a Countess anymore. She's a Princess (and in canon her friends call her Princess, until she asks for them not to and just call her Twilight). As the ruler of a Nation, she's not a Civilian. She actually has supreme authority over the military (also canon) only equaled in power by Luna and Celestia. As royalty. The Army is sworn to serve her and follow her orders (Also canon) [Both of those were covered in S4 E1 (and I think the beginning part of 2) Definitely E1.]
So the question still goes as to why knowing she has the highest authority. She calls herself a Civilian. When it's been established that she isn't. And even if she was something prior to Ascension. Ascending over rules that and made her Royalty in the form of a Princess. And as the ruler of a Nation. She supersedes all laws or rules other than Tia and Luna whom she is of equal power and say.
That being said. It'd be like a Duke (which at most her father would be a Duke or an Arch-Duke) arranging a King's / Queen's Marriage. Which just doesn't happen. As one of the three most powerful entities in both Law, Culture, and Power. Noone tells her whom to marry other than her. Yes like in Earth cultures. A Parent can talk to the ruler about it, and could possibly try manipulating things into it (through words and subterfuge). But at the end of the day, it's the ruler's choice.
So I can't wait to see Celestia and Luna going "Lolnope!" and crushing what must've been decades of Powerplays by Blue Blood to get says into manipulating Equestrian Laws. But I'll look at that story. Just to see the unquestionable fail that happens. Since it violates a Ruler's Perogative / Legally has no grounds to happen/ and would set a Precedence for any noble of Prince or Princess rank (that aren't part of the three (As of now) rulers of Equestria) to claim marriage to them against their will and tear down Equestrian stability.
4) Couldn't you have done that as a One shot? Which would've been more appropriate. Or put that in a different chapter that would've allowed the whole "Building a Family" chapter to focus on just that. Building Scoots and Dash's (possibly Luna's and Scootaloo's) relationship and dynamics.
Even though it's important. By making a random stew of all this throw in there all at once. You are taking the focus away from the story. Throwing a mountain into the flow of the story. And made the entire chapter make not a lick of sense. All of the important stuff could've been covered in it's own fic. Or if it had to be here. Could easily been covered by making an Epilogue, or spreading out the story for an additional chapter or two. For instance:
Building a Family: Scoots wakes, up. While I don't think I'm the only one to say this. The incompotent Doctor wasn't needed. But Doctor goes to Dash. Sees if she's in shape to see Scoots. Or even has her rolled into Scootaloo's room if she can't walk.
Scootaloo says her whole "You will never love me! I'm a failure and will never fly!" Thing. Dash calms her down saying how much she loves her. Scootaloo passes out from emotional turmoil.
Tia and Luna say how they could heal her legs by a knitting spell. Mention the pain spell for transfer at the same time. Rather than afterwards (smoother flow). Bam. Healed.
Dash adopts Scoots in hospital. Luna tells Dash to take care of her niece (since there are lots of people who take people into their family and call them daughter / son / brother / sister / ect. But are related by love and spirit. Not by blood.). Ends that chapter.
Next Chapter:
Dash gets her uniform and sees all the medals. Asks "Prriiinnnnccceeesss!" or "Princess!" or how ever you want to spread that out, [Question about the medals].
Get rid of
That. Since A) She's a Princess that the unit they were in reported too. Same as Tia, Lulu, and Cadance who were part of the team. B) Made no sense. And C)could be redone.
And make it something more along the lines of. A) Bravery (why she earned medals of bravery (lots of things for that)). B) The medals I don't quite get, but could be for any number of reasons I guess. But have it answer the question of "Why did I get these medals".
Twilight's mother comes in. You're Father signed over your hoof in marriage. Twilight either
or 
. And asks Tia or Lulu if that's legal. Since even though Night Light's a Duke / Arch Duke, Bluey's a Prince (thus while I don't think it's plausable. I'll throw that out for the whole "Legal" thing that Bluey Found) they will have to look into it.
Bam ends on a cliff hanger. But it flows fluidly. Everything you needed for later happens. But it breaks it down into a way that is logical and doesn't take away from the story.
I can't enjoy this story anymore. It started out pretty good, perhaps it could have been written better but good nonetheless. But it has declined into one of those stories that just use the same thing over and over again, and for this story it was the use of the 'bad guy' a$$holes. (Scoot's father, that murderous doctor, the receptionist, Twilight's father, and those guards). I felt absolutely nothing when reading this, not rage, anger, d'aww moments, nothing. It was just using the same concepts as previous chapters.
Also, I feel like Twilight was a little OOC in this chapter, in that scene with the doctor restraining Scootaloo. That doctor was just doing his/her job(it was very unclear), and I'm pretty damn sure Twilight knows nothing medical. Rainbow, I can easily imagine her getting so upset. But Twilight is more sensible than that. The doctor didn't come off as a bad guy to me; just someone doing their job. Honestly, think about it. If a badly inured patient in a real-life hospital started freaking, don't you think that the doctors would try to restrain them? If the patient was aloud to go wild like that, they would be a danger to themselves and others.
So, I'm sorry to say, but I'm officially un-favoriting this story. It had potential, but it's just lost that for me. Wish I could say I love it, but I don't even like it anymore.
3620181 Yeah, I do, but that doesn't mean that I cannot be frustrated when a story with potential is so riddled with errors and plot holes that it takes me out of my immersion.
Well this story is nice and all but I got lost when I see how aggressive the Mane 6 are throughout this story. The receptionist was just doing her job and that doctor was just following procedure and Twilight used her authority like a maniac. I still like the story but geez.
I'm going to keep this one favorited because it was changed from complete to incomplete so hopefully you turn this story around and make chapter 5 much better than chapter 1-4. Can't wait
3622117 Thanks - you might want to take a look at my latest blog post for an explanation as to why I changed the status
the side plots developed too fast, the one doctor was just doing his job as best as he could. Otherwise I liked it. Hope you continue.
I will agree with some of the readers, That side plot was like i562.photobucket.com/albums/ss69/DJTamuff/whoosh.gif but I did enjoy the chapter and if you don't write more I will find you and devour your children! this story is Mewtwo approved images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130715141747/my-ninja-guide/images/b/bc/Mewtwo.gif
Hm, good idea, decent plot, not oo many errors, moved faster than a whore in new york though....
4/5
Good work bruddah, oh and I demand more
I was actually moved to tears during the massive mobilization to get Scootaloo to Canterlot. It was very emotion charged and I'm still feeling teary eyed.
All the idiot doctors need to be banished TO THE MOON!!!!
I would love to see Rarity and Twilight find a way to make a magical prosthetic for Scootaloo so she can fly through the air with Rainbow. Hey, if a viking kid can make a tail fin for a dragon then an alicorn and a unicorn can figure something out. Maybe Time Turner could get some help from another famous Doctor????
3673755
Maybe this is where the clockwork wing prosthetics we see everywhere were first implemented?
3734896 That would be 20% more awesome. It's hard to top the awesome of this fic, but that would do it. But I was thinking more fabric and thin metal like a hang glider instead of steam punk.
Just...wow...
Sigh I like this story and hate it at the same time there are a lot of little things that are driving me nuts but for the stuff that's not nicely done btw you might want another editor or to to spell check this.
I do think you should continue the story. I would like to hear it.
3836832
I am planning on writing a alternate/different ending to this story, but due to ill helath I haven't been writing much of anything at the moment, I promise that all of my stories that are either on Hiatus or marked incomplete WILL get finished.
3926100 Good story, though I did wish you put a little Flashlight (Flash x Twilight) thing in the forced marriage part of the chapter.