The Red Moon

by Teku Senpai

5 - All them Ponies

A zebra followed by two tall bipedal creatures exited the Everfree Forest, but no pony was around to see it. No pony at all. It wasn't until Zecora made it into town with the two creatures in tow, did ponies start to notice.

Throughout the marketplace, ponies began to stop mid barter, mid exchange, mid trot, mid canter, mid anything. They all stopped to look over at the recently welcomed outcast and its two "pets". Soon, murmurs began to rise up from random ponies.

"What has Zecora brought with her this time?"

"What... are those?"

"What are they doing here?"

"Should I go get Twilight and her friends?"

"Hands..."

Derik looked around enthusiastically, taking in the mass of technicolor ponies beginning to crowd around Zecora, Jake, and him. The ponies were forced to look high upwards to meet the gazes of the tall bipedal creatures that Zecora brought with her. The creatures didn't seem to be any sort of threat. Until, of course, one of the spoke.

"Can we move this along?! My feet are starting to hurt..." Jake grumbled to himself and sighed, contorting his face into disgust at every pony his eyes fell upon.

Jake soon turned to Derik and raised a supine hand, "What are these and why are there so many of them..?"

Derik scoffed quietly and replied, "They're horses! You know what horses are, right? But for some reason, these horses are very small and very anatomically inaccurate." Derik squatted down and stared at a horse that had pushed herself to the front lines of the crowd. She had white and mint colored hair, a mint colored coat, and golden eyes that seemed wide with zeal.

"Hi there, my equine friend!" Derik patted the horse's head and asked, "Want some, er, hay?" Derik had no idea what these horses ate. He'd assume that they probably ate what regular horses did.

The mint horse immediately squealed and zoomed off, plowing through the horses standing in her way. Flattened horses left knocked out in her wake were what marked her short-lived presence as she kicked up dust while running down the road.

"That was, uh..." Derik put a finger on his chin and looked up. "I have nothing."

"How about 'stupid'? That was stupid. Let's get going. I don't want to have to stare at all these things for more than I have to. Look at that one. It's all purple and won't stop staring at me." Jake kicked a rock and nudged Zecora forward.

Zecora snorted and started forward, Derik and Jake close behind. Derik was whistling merrily while Jake dragged his feet through the dirt path. The three stopped in front of a tree with a door in front.

"Whoa. That's a massive tree," Derik breathed. He sat down in the dirt, merely contemplating how such a tree was able to exist until he remembered the Redwood Forest and stood up, brushing himself off.

Jake rolled his eyes irritably. His gaze fell upon the door and his eyes narrowed. "A DOOR. HOOOME." Jake ran jovially towards the door, desperate for some peace. However, as he drew closer to the door, the more it looked wrong. The door appeared to be a little too small for him. Derik caught up with Zecora close behind.

"Well, that's disheartening. Oh well." Derik shrugged his shoulders and squatted. He began pushing the door open when the door jerked back on its own. Derik slowly tittered before falling to the floor in the doorway.

"It's open..."

Zecora walked past Derik, careful not to step on him. Jake took a less subtle approach and stomped into the library. On Derik's back.

"Good afternoon, my na-"

"Shut up, purple horse. I need a bed and I ne- -pop-"

Twilight cleared her throat and looked at Derik before announcing, "Good afternoon, my name is Twilight Sparkle. What's yours?"

Derik simply sat on the floor in the doorway staring at where Jake used to be. He gawked at the spot dumbfoundedly, at a complete loss for words or emotion. "What.. Uh, how? What?" He glanced sideways at Twilight, the most confuzzled look on his face. Zecora sighed while Twilight giggled to herself.

"Well, he's probably getting an earful from Pinkie right now." Zecora looked up, one eyebrow raised. Twilight shrugged, her posture saying "what can you do?"

"To Pinkie, Jake has been sent, to fix his manners with an amendment," Zecora rhymed.

Derik slowly began to nod and crossed his arms. "I see, dear friend. With a professional he will amend."

"Ooh, you're just like Zecora." Twilight half-smiled and fluttered her lavender wings. Derik looked over at Twilight and studied her before blurting out, "You're completely purple." which beckoned a confused look from Twilight.

"Well, yes. You've been here for a while and haven't noticed that?" Twilight squinted at Derik, who squinted back as an intense squinting match took place.

Zecora sighed and facehoofed. She slowly made her way out the door and quietly shut it behind her as the two occupants of the tree continued their squint-off. However, Zecora's leave was noted by Derik, who simply had no objection to it.

"Well, anyway," Twilight broke the match and cleared her throat. "There have been a number of creatures and monsters that have invaded Ponyville in the past. What are you?"

Derik shot up and struck the question down with his godlike answer, "I AM A HUMAN. A HOMO -." Before he could finish, the same mint equine from earlier popped into existent, squeed and promptly disappeared with again, taking Derik with her.

Twilight blinked twice and stared at where Derik had been and sighed. "I'll get to know that weird creature later."

---

"- SAPIEN! Wait, what. Where am I?" Derik looked around absent-mindedly after his triumphant outcry. He took a few steps forward inside the new room he was in. The room was furnished and appeared to be the same as any other living room he had ever known, just scaled a bit down.

There was a clopping of hooves and Derik peered down below him to see the mint-green equine blissfully tapping her hooves together. She stared up at Derik with anticipation, her enthusiasm without any sort of restraint. Derik looked back up and peered around the room before looking back down at the equine and studying her closely.

"Hmm... You have a horn. What does that make you? A -."

"A UNICOOORN!!" Lyra shouted up at Derik, bouncing slightly on her legs.

Derik nodded slowly and squatted down to gaze at the pony at eye-level. "Aha. I see. So can you do, like, you know... magic?" Derik rubbed the back of his neck as he asked the question cautiously, but still very expectantly.

Without a moment's hesitation, the mint pony bounded for the living room, turned around and ignited her horn. Immediately a golden aura engulfed Derik into an imaginary confine which Derik really didn't feel up for. Derik hovered closer to the pony, but was placed on the couch against the wall. As soon as the aura dissipated, the pony hopped up onto the Derik, pinning him down.

Hot balls, these ponies are sure heavier than they look. Whoof. Derik, still having troubles comprehending the possibly weight of the pony and completely oblivious to the pony's intentions, looked up at the pony's large eyes deeply falling prey to the deepness of them. His eyes grew wide as he was captivated by them.

The pony slowly lowered her muzzle down to Derik's face as she straddled him.

Suddenly, an extraordinary loud, "LYYYRAAA!!" vibrated throughout the house and shook it with the intensity of the shout. Another pony flew down a set of stairs and dove for the human and pony on the couch.

Derik immediately snapped out of his haze and hugged Lyra and and shielded her from the impending pain. However, as the intruding pony collided with Derik's back, a brilliant yellow light shown from it, and the pony was repelled away. After a brief sail through the air, the pony collided with a wall on the opposite side of the room.

Derik stood up, Lyra still in his arms. Though Derik wasn't completely conscious of himself, he recognized the coat of the pony as cream colored and two distinct colors in her mane and tail. Lyra leapt from Derik's embrace and rushed over to the cream pony while Derik struggled to regain himself from his daze.

After a few violent shakes of his head, Derik looked up to see Lyra shaking the cream-colored pony and mumbling something, but the only thing Derik heard before falling unconscious was a worried "Bonnie!"

---

Jake could feel his ears going numb as his IQ dropped by the second. Though he had tuned out most of the annoying chatter, he still had yet to tune it out COMPLETELY. He sighed as he propped his head up in his palm. He sat at a table with a pink pony with an even pinker poofy mane chattering away.

Jake blinked once and looked over at the pony, her cyan eyes full of life and cheer. Kind of like Derik, but his eyes are brown... and of course less annoying. Jake looked past the pony before him and gazed at a clock on the back wall before returning his gaze back to the pony. Eh, they might be similar...

It wasn't before long, Jake began dozing off from his sheer amount of annoyance and irritation. His head fell and he shot awake. He looked up at the earth pony who had already fallen asleep across the table. He shook his head and looked outside; it was still bright. Finally. Jake reached out and touched the pony curiously. The pony's coat was velvety but her mane was as curly and in such a clusterfuck that he had to excercise extreme caution to remove his hand without waking the pony.

As he extracted his hand, Jake mumbled quietly, "Ugh, I need to get out of here and leave. No, I can't just leave. I need to help Eiren. There was something that he said. The two halves and... and what?" Jake rubbed his chin as he attempted to recall what Eiren had told him. Two halves and something else. What is it. Rubbing his temples, Jake exhaled coolly. Well, if you have two halves. You'll need something to keep them together. So logically, I'd need to get some kind of bonding agent.

Jake growled and smashed his fists onto the table, frustrated and unable to recall the third item to retrieve for Eiren. Immediately, the pink pony shot up and stared at Jake with wide eyes. Jake met the pony's gaze and his mind ejected a single thought to its forefront: Run.

Jake slowly stood up, the pink pony's gaze still on him and rather curious. Jake scooted away from his chair and pushed it in as slowly and unmenacingly as possible. He then gave a curt nod to the pony and took off out the door, running aimlessly throughout the town.

The pony shot up and yelled out, "IS PINKIE PIE YOUR FRIEND YET?!" She took off out the door in pursuit of the bipedal creature who needs some serious friendship.

---

Lyra cradled BonBon's head in her lap on the couch as Derik sat on the floor at a very low table. He groaned as his consciousness fully recovered. A sudden loud crack split the air followed by a large WHUMP. A second later, there were three light taps on the front door. Lyra moved to answer it, but Derik got up and waved his hand at her, which she followed closely with her eyes. He walked towards the door and opened it.

Behind the door was an elegant white pony with an chromatic ethereal mane. This one was taller than the rest, but still Derik could label himself as taller. The ponies were in fact very small compared to what he was used to. However, Derik wasn't able to collect much data about the pony before he was enwrapped in a golden aura and his vision cut off.

"Aw, come on," he moaned. He fiddled around with his eyes to see what was obstructing his vision, but when he found nothing he panicked a bit and contemplated, Am I blind?! HOW.

Before long, Derik's vision returned to him, which he was immensely grateful for. Unfortunately, Derik was not in the doorway he was in moments ago. He was inside a very spacious room that appeared to be made of wood. The walls were lined with book after book and there stood a single circular table in the middle of the room with a horse bust proudly mounted atop it.

"Well..." Derik began.

"Ah, hello again. Remember me?" a familiar and random voice spoke out.

Author's Note:

Guys I promise I'll be able to throw out more chapters in a shorter time soon, but for now it'll be a slow process because of college crap that I need to smooth out.

The long wait wasn't completely just for the 2k words, there were other things I was doing too. (obviousry).

Oh, and a last thing. I'll bump the word count for each chapter back up to roughly 5k after the 10th chapter and every chapter that is a multiple of 10 will have roughly 10k cus I'm unique and shit (including THE 10th chapter).

Thanks. =)