First Day of School

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Spike's first day of school, and like any other day, friends are with him. Scootaloo is in the same grade, and the same class. Being new, or even different from others in class will always clause problems.

First day of school? Or maybe the last.

criticism wanted!!!!

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Manes

Manes #1 · Nov 25th, 2013 · · ·

Liked it

TheLoveless

TheLoveless #2 · Nov 25th, 2013 · · ·

3533925 any critasisum? constructive or destructive?

Manes

Manes #3 · Nov 25th, 2013 · · ·

3533949
Well I'm not good with pointing out flaws since I can't find my own but I do have two always capitalized I and write numbers in word form.

TheLoveless

TheLoveless #4 · Nov 25th, 2013 · · ·

3533961 i knew i should have done that with the i.

thanks

Elric of Melnipony

Elric of Melnipony #5 · Nov 25th, 2013 · · ·

Could use some proofreading. Here are some examples:

i’m gonna be gone for almost 5 hours.

Always capitalize the personal pronoun "I".

the minimum security prison every one called school

I like comparing it to a prison, but it should be "everyone". You would split it up when talking about multiple objects, for example: "Rainbow Dash broke every one of those windows". But when referring to a group of people, it would be a single word: "Everyone agreed that there was too much drama in the fandom." Or you could just use "everypony".

well class doesn't start for another 10 minutes.

You're starting a new sentence (within the dialogue) and would need to capitalize that first letter. Also, a comma after "well" would indicate the natural pause in speech when saying something like that.