• Member Since 4th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 22nd, 2017

BronyBrozly


E

This is a short story about Gilda. On a trip to Ponyville, seeking redemption, she becomes injured. Finally reaching Rainbow Dash, things do not go as well as she'd hoped.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 13 )

I have a smile on my face
Manly tears were shed at this day
i695.photobucket.com/albums/vv313/Dblue1004/Blog/manly-tears-motivator.jpg

Perhaps you should have stretched this story out for a few chapters, it felt like everything was happening a bit too fast.
Other than that, it's excellent.

250348
Seconded.
Manly tears :fluttercry:

I also think everything went a bit too fast. The story seems very bunched together and because of that a lot of the dialogue and descriptions could be a bit better. Still good though.

250348 The mullets they have failed us! :raritycry:

oh and props to brony brozly for this story.

250410
250673

Yeah, I also had that feeling at the time I was writing it that it felt a bit rushy but I kept on writing since I don't know what to do. :twilightblush:
What do you think I should do? Make a sequel? :twilightsmile:

Awww. That was truly heartwarming. Thanks for sharing and writing :)

I'll start off by saying that I like the concept and general story, but there are lots of problems. First, the grammar and spelling gets really atrocious in places and needs fixing. Second, your timeline is very confusing and fractured; how long has she lived in the cave, at what point did she go back and talk to her parents? Third, Fluttershy and Gilda seemed to bond way too quickly, though that might be just the rush at the end. Fix and you should be good.

251107
Your welcome, and it is my pleasure to please a reader. :twilightsmile:

251116
Indeed, I do have lots of problems that needs fixing. Thank you for the advice. :yay:

Great story, I'd love to see something more of Gilda.
In fact, episode with Gilda was my least favourite one because Dash got so mad at old friend...
Keep writing, I love your work!

Nice story :twilightsmile:
Although this seems pretty rushed and there are plenty of errors in it as well. I can try to make some revisions and suggestions for elaboration of you want me to. I'm not exactly an English teacher or something like that but I can try.

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