• Member Since 4th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 22nd, 2017

BronyBrozly


E

A story about a young travelling merchant colt who found himself in a town called Ponyville. He met with a certain pink filly that reminded him of his past and changed something within him.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 7 )

Somebody bombed this with .5 stars :facehoof: So I will counter-act this with a 5 stars, I would have given this a 3.5 if it wasn't for the bombing. There were many mistakes and there really wasn't anything that memorable about it. Other then that it was a decent story and an interesting concept... Wait... Chapter 1? There are going to be even more? You could have left this as a short story with this one chapter. Because I admit to actually feeling these things you call "emotions" at the end. I will track to keep track of your progress. :twilightsmile:

WOW!! Great job bro! Keep em coming!!

I had about the same feeling as last chapter, but I do see some improvement. For some reason though, mysterious forces stop me from getting into the story. For some reason I just cant get attached to the story like I can with most others, and I don't even see much wrong with it!

115765

Hahaha, thanks for the comments. Maybe my story don't have the "wow" factor :twilightblush:. I'm still a newbie writer so it is understandable. But, I'm learning. I'm trying to be better in every story. Again, thank you for your honest comment. :twilightsmile:

I'd give you 5 stars for making me feel emotions :fluttershysad: but whenever I move my mouse away from the 5th star it goes back to 4 stars so that's what it'll give you I guess.

123084

Thank you, for rating that is. :twilightsmile:

Just as I was starting to get into it BAM! No more chapters. But I liked it anyways; even if there is no continuation to show what is to come, ending it with the start of something new is still a nice way to end. There were, well, grammatical errors that bugged me a little, but unfortunately I'm too lazy to go back and point them out so that's all I can say on that matter. Some of my nitpicking with this would be that I couldn't get a good feel for Good Cash's personality but his interaction with Pinkie was nevertheless still very sweet. Though I did like that it didn't end with a full-blown declaration of love but instead a hint of growing love; again, a good way to end. Those for now are my two bits, I may come back and nitpick again. :rainbowlaugh: Til then, good work and good luck on your other writing projects. :pinkiehappy:

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