Finale
////
Finale
////
Alex and Dax stood in the laboratory, both exceedingly proud of themselves for outsmarting Alpha and beating him at his own game. Now, all that remained for them to do, was a bit of clean-up duty, and explain just how they did it.
The two looked to the back area as the sound of a group of ponies was heard running toward them.
“Alpha!” A guard called, “What’s going—“
They were all levitated off the ground, and tossed under the cage, keeping them at bay.
“Damn it…” Alpha said, shocked at the huge amount of work he had lost in the last twenty seconds.
“Confused?” Alex asked.
“He’s confused.” Dax said.
“Allow me to explain.” Alex said.
////
Alex
Dax
////
“Remember when the two of us fled the city?”
“We had a few minutes to plan our next move, you know.”
“Part one, we had to look like we were fighting.”
“Look like we didn’t get along.”
“Which we didn’t at first, but taking our friends has a funny way of getting us to work together.”
“So. We decided to escape to the mall, when we got Twilight.”
“From there, Dax slowed himself down while we ran, allowing your guards to hit him.”
“And what did we run in to?”
“A glasses and contacts stand.”
“I grabbed blue contacts, just like Alex.”
“So, when we ran into the video arcade, Dax tossed on the contacts, and he became Alex.”
“Alex ran away, and pretended to be Dax.”
“But not before saying ‘This isn’t part of the plan!’”
“My personal favorite.”
“So, I waited for a while, long enough for Dax to assess the situation, and find out what we needed to know.”
“Then I manipulated the magical hold you had on Twilight so she would spill some information to him. We had both heard the guards talking, but I wasn’t allowed to leave so I couldn’t tell him.”
“Then I flew in, looking like a bona fide badass, fooling you further into thinking I was Dax.”
“You captured him and put all of the anti-chaos field into his cage, freeing me to use whatever spells I needed."
“Exactly what we planned for you to do.”
“Then, when you called me into the room, I exchanged a simple thought with Alex, telling me to destroy the green ball when I called Alpha over to see me.”
“And now, here we are.”
“Endgame.”
////
“So,” Alex smiled, “That’s about it.”
“Any questions?” Dax asked.
Alpha grunted as he stood up, and lightly tapped his hoof against the ground, something that took both Alex and Dax a moment to realize that he was clapping for them.
“Honestly,” Alpha began, “I’m not a bad pony. I’m just a loyal pony.”
Neither Alex nor Dax knew where this was going.
“You two fought for your friends, and you did a damn good job.” Alpha continued, sounding more and more confidant, “But I can’t go back empty hooved.”
“Listen,” Alex said, “You don’t need to go back anywhere. You could always—“
“No,” Alpha cut him off, “I love my family, and I won’t be abandoned by them for this.”
“What do you mean?” Dax asked.
“Nothing…” He said.
“Come with me, then.” Alex said, somewhat worryingly, “I’ll get Dash, Dax.”
Nodding, Dax readied a spell in case Alpha decided to try and fight his way out of this.
Luckily, he was compliant, and allowed Alex to escort him to the jail cell that held Dash.
“Alex?!” She asked, seeing him walk through the door, “A-are you okay?”
Smiling and nodding, she immediately beamed.
“Geez!” She said as Alex opened the door, and pushed Alpha past her, as she walked out, “I thought he had you for sure!”
“Psh,” Alex laughed, “He never had anything on me!”
“What’s next then?” Dash asked, “How is everypony else doing?”
“They’re fine,” Alex said, “Their minds should be coming back to them.”
“I couldn’t have done it better myself!” Dash said, “I’ll look after Alpha, why don’t you go out and make sure everything is looking good?”
“Sure,” Alex said, kissing her on the cheek quickly, “If there’s any problem, just shout. We’ll come running.”
Smiling and nodded, Dash watched Alex exit the room, and then turned back to Alpha.
“I can’t believe he fell for it!” She laughed, “Now, what do I need to do to fix that anti-magic barrier for you, Alpha?”
////
Pinkie opened her eyes weakly, feeling the rising sun on them.
Shaking her head and standing up, she realized that she was in full control of herself!
“Oh boy!” She shouted to herself, bouncing up and down, “I’m free! Which means everypony must be free! So I should go bake a cake in—“
Somewhere in the distance, a train whistle blew.
////
“Did you hear that?” Alpha asked Dash as she worked away repairing the power supply to his machine, “Why is there a train coming?”
“I don’t know!” Dash said, in a rude tone, “How am I supposed to know the schedule?”
“I wasn’t asking you,” He said, looking up at the ceiling, “You need to hurry up.”
“I am!” Dash snapped, “I don’t see you doing the work!”
“I can’t get caught out of the cell!” She shot back, “Just hurry up!”
////
Twilight warped herself and Fluttershy to the train platform, and watched the rapidly approaching bullet train that she and her friends had arrived on.
They hadn’t seen any kind of guards on when they arrived here, so Twilight assumed that Dax had taken her advice, and destroyed everything below them, allowing magic to work once again.
Deciding to take a step back, Twilight and Fluttershy knew this thing was going fast, and she didn’t want to get hurt if it crashed into the station for any reason.
“Twilight!” Pinkie called, bouncing over to her, “Who’s on the train?”
“There’s only one kind of train like that,” Twilight said, “So that means it’s coming from Canterlot.”
“Did ah’ hear Canterlot?” Applejack asked, approaching the group with Rarity and Spike in tow, “That’s good, right?”
“Well, at this speed,” Twilight surmised, “They’ve kicked it up by quite a bit, so it’s an emergency for them.”
“So it’s help, right?” Spike asked.
“I think so,” Twilight nodded.
Finally, the train made its final approach, and quickly pulled the breaks, decelerating to a complete stop, in only a matter of seconds.
“I hope nopony was hurt there,” Twilight said, cringing at the potential damage they could have gotten in that stop.
A few seconds after the train stopped, the doors opened, and Princess Celestia stepped off.
“Princess!” Twilight called, running over to her.
“Twilight!” She said, running over to her, and embracing her, tears filling her eyes.
“You might be in danger!” Luna said, stepping off the train, along with the better part of fifty soldiers.
“We were,” Twilight said, “It turned out that our host is a changeling!”
“I know,” Celestia said, “Your letter tipped us off.”
“Good job Twilight!” Pinkie said.
“I didn’t really do anything, She said modestly, “But we need to get down to the foundation of the station, their leader is there.”
“Alright,” Celestia nodded, “Are there any dangers we should know about?”
“There were anti-magic defenses, but Alex and Dax took care of them.” Twilight explained, “I think, anyway.
“Dax?” Celestia asked, “His alter-ego?”
“Yeah… It’s a long story.” Twilight said, laughing a bit, “I’ll fill everypony in later.”
Walking toward the spa, Twilight spoke to everypony about what had happened to them over the past few hours, and what they might have to watch out for.
Finally reaching the perimeter of the building, everypony stopped as Celestia quickly went over the attack plan with them.
“We don’t know who’s in there,” Celestia said, “Each team will take a unicorn, use the true-form spell, and use it on everypony you see. I don’t want a changeling slipping past us.”
Luna casually walked over to Applejack, and whispered, “It is strange seeing my sister like this.”
“Ah’ll bet,” She answered, “Apple Bloom would look mighty weird doin’ this.”
“When we have the changelings identified, and in our custody, we’ll do a sweep of the entire complex, and we’ll follow the same procedure,” Celestia continued, “Also, nopony leave your group. When we lose somepony, they gain a chance to sneak into our ranks.”
They all nodded.
“So, when the operation in complete, we’ll perform the true-form spell on everypony, to make sure you haven’t been impersonated. We don’t want this being the Manehattan Crisis all over again.” She finished.
“Manehattan Crisis?” Luna asked, no having heard of that particular event.
“It was a big fight in Manehattan, with those changelings and the royal guard, where lots of ‘em changed into our guys, and lots of ponies got hurt.” Applejack explained, “Lots’a books about it.”
Luna nodded, before joining her sister.
“Is everypony ready?” Luna asked.
“Yes!” They shouted in unison.
“Alright,” Luna said, “Then move—“
Suddenly, a loud buzzing was heard as a massive force field was generated out of the ground beneath the spa, and made its way outward and upward.
“Everypony fall back!” Celestia called as they all ran away from the massive sparking shield that was expanding toward them.
The huge group of ponies ran across the courtyard as the spell encompassed the entire thing, sealing it off from the rest of the outside world.
“What’s happening?” Rarity shouted.
“I think Alpha rebuilt his anti-magic shield with Rainbow Dash’s help!” Pinkie said as they all gave her an odd look.
“What?” She asked, “It was just a hunch!”
////
“Dash!” Alex shouted, running into the jail, “What happened?”
“Sorry, Alex,” Alpha said, stepping out of the cell, “I forget to tell you that Dash was under my control.”
“But she hadn’t had the procedure!” Alex said, stepping back as Dax arrived at his side.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Alpha said, “She went under a different kind of conditioning, that doesn’t require machinery. Just in case.”
“You asshole.” Dax growled.
“Come on,” Alpha said, “Don’t be like that. I won fair and square.”
“By brainwashing our friends?” Alex asked, “That’s hardly fair.”
“Regardless,” Alpha said, walking past them, “The magic barrier is back up, and I’ve erected a shield around it to keep it from being damaged once again.
Alex and Dax weren’t sure what to do now.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to see who arrived in the train station.” Alpha said, exiting the room, leaving the three.
“Dash!” Alex said, approaching her, “What did he do to you?”
“Put his horn on me,” She shrugged, “That’s all.”
“I hope he didn’t put it IN you!” Dax laughed, “That’s our job!”
Alex gave him a serious look, “OUR job?”
“Uh, yeah.” He said, “But I see what you mean... That sounds a bit strange.”
“No shit.” Alex said.
“Anyway! Why does she sound so normal?” Dax asked.
“Twilight was like that too,” Alex said, “Dash… You need to tell us if there’s anything we can do to stop him!”
“Sorry, bud,” Dash said, “Privileged information. Now, excuse me.” She said, walking past them toward Alpha.
“What do we do?” Alex whispered to Dax.
“I’ve got nothing.” He said frowned.
“Well,” Alex said, “We could just beat the living hell out of him.”
“I like that plan,” Dax said, “But he said he was a good fighter.”
“Right,” Alex said, furrowing his brow, “Our big thing is magic.”
“What then?” Dax asked.
“Let’s go see who arrived,” Dax said, “Maybe it’s some kind of help.”
////
“Can you penetrate the shield, sister?” Luna asked as Celestia shot a constant beam of energy into the field that had been formed.
“I can’t,” Celestia Panted, ending the spell, “We need a new plan.”
“Don’t worry about that, Princess!” Alpha said over the PA, “This is a lost cause.”
“Who am I speaking to?” Celestia shouted, not sure if she could even be heard.
“My name is Alpha,” The voice said, “I’m the general of the changeling army, serving under Queen Chrysalis.”
“What is your intention?” She shouted.
“To strengthen the empire!” HE answered proudly, “And while it may not be the fairest thing in Equestria, I’m taking your friends with me.”
“You are not.” Celestia said angrily, “You will release them, and give yourself up.”
“You’re not the best at bargaining, Princess,” Alpha laughed, “There is no room for negotiation. This is how it’s going to be happening.
“And how do you expect to escape with us here?” Celestia asked.
“That’s for me to worry about, and you to not know.” He answered, “In fact, you’d save yourself a lot of time if you just left now.”
“This is a true act of war, Alpha,” Celestia warned, “You had best think twice before following through with it.”
“I’m afraid I have my orders, and nothing will sway me.” He said, deciding to finish up, “Now, I have some preparations to make… Feel free to keep trying to break my shield, you’ll fail.”
And with that, the PA system shut down, leaving them all in silence.
“Unicorns, start trying to break that shield!” Celestia ordered, “Focus on a single point, and try to split it open!”
“Pegasi!” Luna shouted, “Evacuate the open areas! Get everypony clear of the station!”
“Earth ponies,” Celestia followed, “Try to find us an alternate path into the basement!”
////
“Much less than I thought!” Alpha said, “But two princesses? I’m a bit honored.”
“They’re here for us, not you,” Alex said.
“Well, they’re not going to get you,” Alpha said, “I may have failed my primary goal, but if I take you three back, we can at least feed on love between you and Dash, here.”
“What?” Alex asked, a bit weirded out.
“Nothing,” Alpha said, “However, I am a bit surprised.”
“Surprised?” Dax asked.
“You two haven’t come at me yet,” He said, “I expected some fight with you two versus Dash and myself.”
“I can’t risk her,” Alex said, “Who knows how you’d use her against us.”
Alpha scratched his head, “You’re right, it’s not fair. Forget her.”
“What?” Alex and Dax said together.
“You two fight me, she won’t do a thing.” He said, “You win, you go free. I win, you come with me.”
Alex and Dax looked at each other, nodding.
“Fine.” Dax said, “Let’s do it.”
“Stay back, Rainbow Dash,” Alpha instructed, before turning to the guards he had released from the cage Alex dropped on them.”
They complied and stood at the sideline.
Alex and Dax each took an offensive stance, as Alpha took his own.
////
////
Alex thought carefully about what he would do when Alpha attacked him, but that time was cut short, when Dax ran head first into the changeling trying to knock him over. However, Alpha jolted to the side, and struck Dax as he ran past him, knocking him over.
“Ow…” Dax said, righting himself.
Alpha approached Alex, and took a quick jab at Alex that he quickly dodged. Alpha kept this up as Alex narrowly got out of the way of each hit. Unfortunately, he was getting faster with the punches, and Alex was slowing down.
Seeing an opportunity, Dax ran up behind Alpha, and was about to hit him. But before he could, Alpha shot his elbow back and hit him in the nose, sending him staggering back. Seeing this distracted Alex long enough for Alpha to strike, and knock him on the floor.
“Come on you two!” Alpha said, “This is nothing!”
Both standing up, they threw caution to the wind, and went in hoofs flailing.
However, with a few stops and counter attacks, they both hit the ground again.
“This would be easier if you would concede.” Alpha said, “You sure you don’t want that?”
Standing again, Alex shook his head, “I can keep going.”
“Me too…” Dax said breathlessly, with a very bloody nose.
“Such vigor,” Alpha nodded, “Love will do that, won’t it?”
Dax staggered over to Alpha, and threw a slow, and predictable punch that he ducked under, then grabbed the arm above him, and flipped Dax over his back.
Dax looked like he was out.
“Come on, Alex,” Alpha said, “Let’s finish this now.”
Alex looked over to Dax, and saw that he was glowing lightly. He remembered that light. He remembered seeing it when they were separating.
Starting to walk in circles, Alex passed Dax once, simply looking like he was readying to attack.
“Come on, Alex,” Alpha egged, “Just throw the punch.”
Doing another circle, Alex passed Dax once again… Just one more.
“Are you stalling for something?” Alpha asked, “No help is coming!”
On the final circle, Alex sped up significantly, and made his way over to Dax as fast as possible.
Finally reaching the right point, Alex pretended to trip and rolled toward Dax.
Seeing this as an opportunity to strike Alex, Alpha moved to hit Alex when he ran into Dax, and would stop dead, so Alpha could knock him out.
Alex held his breath and prayed for this part to work.
Hitting Dax, instead of stopping dead, Alex passed through him as Dax was reabsorbed into his body. So, he kept rolling. Alpha then missed them both and fell flat on the ground.
In an instant, Alex was up and struck hit him once in the back of the head, bouncing it off the ground, making a painfully loud ‘crack.’
A few seconds of silence followed before Alpha surprised them all, and stood back up.
“Heh…” He said, as a green trail of blood ran down his forehead to his left eye, “That- That was good, Alex.”
“Sir!” One of the guards shouted from behind them.
“Quiet,” Alpha said groggily, “I- I’m speaking.”
“He confused!” One of the guards shouted.
“I’m not!” Alpha shouted back, showing himself as truly angry, “Silence!”
“Rainbow Dash!” A guard shouted, “Code eight!”
She nodded as she picked up a piece of pipe with a sharpened end, and held on to it, shaking.
“I repeat!” The guard said, “Code eight!”
“N-no…” Alpha murmured, not able to form the right words as he watched Alex turn to face her.
Tears filled her eyes, and she felt herself lose the small amount of control she had.
The pipe left her hoofs, and just as Alex turned and saw the pipe coming, his eyes flared green, and it impaled him through his chest.
////
“Where am I?” Alex asked the black void that surrounded him.
“In our head…” Dax said weakly.
“A-are we dead?”
////
The silence in the room was horrifying. Dash stood with a blank expression on her face as tears ran down her cheeks. The guards were silently congratulating one another as Alpha finally managed to get his head back in order.
“Code zero one!” Alpha shouted, breaking the control they held over Rainbow Dash, “You idiots!”
“Alex!” She shouted, running over to his limp, bloody body, “Nononononono!”
Alpha watched in horror as she tried to get some sign of life out of him, lightly touching his head, or moving an arm. But, there was nothing.
“Sir, your judgment has become impaired,” One of the guards said, “As per guidelines, we leave now.”
“Excuse me?” Alpha asked.
“You’re relieved of duty, sir.” He said, “Please step on the transporter while we gather the prisoner.”
To her, they were a million miles away.
“Alex!” She shouted, shaking his shoulders, “Answer me!”
“C-Colors?” He asked weakly, opening his eyes a bit.
“You’re okay!” She said, “You need… We need too…”
“It’s not Alex…” Dax said, “I’m in the driver’s seat.”
Dash was silent as he continued.
“I- I took the hit...” Dax said, “And now I’m dying.”
“Don’t say that,” She said, lightly stroking his face, “Just heal yourself up!”
“Magic field,” Dax said, pointing at the ceiling, “Can you just do one thing for me?”
“Of course!” She said, her face so wet that the tears weren’t even noticeable at this point.
“Just a quickie…” He laughed weakly, pointing to the object that had impaled him “L-look at how big my pole is!”
Dash laughed through the tears, “You’re dying, and that’s your final request?”
“Time and a place,” Dax nodded, “Got it… How about a kiss then? I mean, I never really got one from you.”
Not hesitating for a moment, Dash pressed her lips into his, and kissed him with as much energy as she could. She didn’t want to think about how much pain he must have been in, or the fact that she could taste blood from his mouth. She just wanted this to go on forever.
Pulling back, Dash felt the tears start coming at twice the speed as Dax squeaked out a final,
“Thank you…”
Suddenly Dash was grabbed from behind, and started to be dragged toward the hole she had flown down.
“No!” She screamed, trying her best to get back to Dax. But, they were stronger than her, and weren’t going to let her go.
////
“Dash…” Alex said, hearing her agonizing cries, “So… This is it then?”
“Not for you,” Dax said, appearing in front of him in human form, “Just for me.”
“What?” Alex asked, “How…?”
“Since we were just separated, I can break us apart again,” Dax explained, “You’ll come out unscathed, the damage will be left on me.”
“But you can come with me, right?” Alex asked.
“Not quite,” Dax said, looking at the ground, “There isn’t room for two personalities in that body.”
“So what then?” Alex asked, “You just die here?”
“Well, they don’t call me the element of selflessness for nothing,” Dax said.
Alex gave him a sullen look, “There has to be another way…”
“Well, there is one.” Dax said, “But you might not like it.”
“What is it!?” Alex asked, “I’ll do whatever!”
“We become one pony,” Dax said, “You accept me as a part of you, and we merge.”
“W-will that change who I am?” Alex asked.
“I’m only a small part of your soul, Alex,” Dax explained, “You’ll be yourself, but you’ll act like me every now and then.”
“Will you still be in my head?” Alex asked.
“No,” Dax said, “We’ll be the same pony.”
“Fine.” Alex said, not wanting to waste time, “Let’s do it.”
“Are you sure?” Dax asked, “This can’t be reversed.”
“I figured that,” Alex said, extending his hoof, “It’s been good, my friend.”
“Well, I’ve been good,” Dax corrected, smirking.
“You got it from me,” Alex smirked back, “Let’s do this.”
His smirk changed to a genuine smile as Dax shook the hoof with his human hand.
Then, Dax lit up and vanished.
////
Inhaling sharply, Alex sat up, and tried to get his bearings. He was confused. Is head felt so… full.
Looking to the side, he saw… himself. Impaled with a pole, and lifeless.
What the buck was going on again?
He was in a basement.
Below the spa.
He was brainwashed.
He broke the spell.
Fought Alpha.
Got impaled.
Merged with Dax.
Save Rainbow Dash.
“Rainbow Dash!” He shouted, standing up.
Following her muffled shouts, he saw her standing on the platform they had fallen through a few hours ago, when the three of them had tried to explore the spa.
“Let her go!” Alex shouted while his left eye rippled magic out of it.
“Alex!” She shouted, extremely relieved, but still captive by the changelings.
Fifteen guards, Alpha, and Rainbow Dash were all surrounded by a bright blue ripple that Alex assumed was the teleporter he had heard them talking about.
“Let her go!” Alex shouted as his right eye started to glow as well.
“Teleportation in ten—“
Alex felt something new. It was chaotic magic.
“Nine,”
But it was different.
“Eight,”
It was mixing with the harmonious magic within him.
“Seven,”
It was some new kind of magic,
“Six,”
And it was powerful.
“Five,”
Sending this new power into his front left hoof, Alex lifted it and slammed it into the floor, making the entire room shake violently.
“Four!”
“Give her back!” Alex shouted, firing a small amount of this energy into the teleporter, making the blue energy surrounding them tear and thin out.
“He’s destabilizing the field!” Alpha shouted, “Let her go!”
“Negative sir,” The guard said, “We’ll make it”
“Three!”
His eyes were now replaced with a solid green as he fired a shot with a bit more energy in it.
Hitting three of the guards, they all fell to the ground shaking violently as the field shook and more.
“He’s going to kill us!” Alpha shouted.
The guard didn’t respond as he looked back and forth between Alex and Alpha.
“Two!”
Alex screamed, and he went for broke, and poured every ounce of power he had into a constant beam that he drew across walls, cables and various machines as it liquefied them, or made them explode.
Grabbing Dash from the guard, Alpha threw her out of the teleporter as Alex broke several support bars, making the roof start saving in on them all.
“He’s damaged the teleport controls!” A guard shouted, “We have no destination!”
“We’ll be scattered into atoms!” Another shouted, “Abort!”
Unfortunately, the teleporter went off before they could stop it, and they were all converted into energy.
“I’m sorry it had to happen this way, Alex, Rainbow Dash.” Alpha’s voice was heard, as he, and the rest of his team was fired into the sky, disappearing.
“Dash!” Alex shouted, stopping his rampage, running to her, and teleporting them out of the collapsing basement.
////
Everypony watched at the spa, and courtyard surrounding it started collapsing in on itself, as a massive burst of energy shot into the sky through the roof of the spa.
The destruction started under the spa and had now spread to the entire area inside the force field.
Chunk after chunk of the ground fell into the sub-basement as the spa itself toppled, and fell into the pit that had just been formed.
Once the dust settled, all that was left was rubble.
“What happened?” Luna said quietly.
“Did anypony hear those blasts of magic?” Applejack asked.
“I did, I did!” Pinkie bounced.
“Yeah, I think we all did, Applejack.” Twilight said.
“What happened to the ponies inside?” Rarity asked.
“I think that was the energy we just saw was them escaping,” Celestia said sadly, “They’re gone.”
“What’s that?” Spike asked, pointing to a ball hanging in the sky.
Pulling out her pink binoculars, Pinkie squee’d, “It’s Alex and Dashie!”
They all breathed a sigh of relief.
“What about Dax?” Twilight asked.
“I only see two ponies up there,” Pinkie said, “I’m sure it’s fine though…”
The floating ball made its way down to the Canterlot guard as none of them dared make a sound.
Alex and Dash landed as the orb vanished, and stayed just as quiet as the rest of them.
“What happened to you guys…?” Fluttershy spoke up, surprising everypony.
“Let’s just go home,” Alex said quietly, “I’ll fill you guys in on the way.”
“Dash?” Twilight asked, “Are you okay?”
“I’m not sure,” She admitted, “I just killed him.”
A gasp went through the crowd.
“I’m going with him,” She said, turned around, and followed him to the hotel, where they proceeded to pack their bags, and get ready to leave.
“Hey, Alex.” Dash said, seeing him sitting down on the bed, deep in thought, “How did you just come back to life?”
“Dax sacrificed himself for me,” He said, “We had two bodies, and he used his to absorb the damage.”
“Is he...?” She began, biting her lip.
“Not quite,” Alex said, poking his head, “He’s in here.”
“Like before?” She asked.
“No,” Alex explained, “We merged into one consciousness.”
“What does that mean?” She asked, completely confused.
“It means that I’m now about seventy five percent Alex, and twenty five percent Dax.” He continued.
“You seem okay to me,” Dash said, sitting down next to him.
“Actually,” Alex sighed in defeat, “I’ve had a hard time not telling you that you have a great plot.”
She instantly blushed, “I-I don’t mind hearing that if it comes out.”
“I know,” Alex said, “But I’m afraid I’ll offend somepony that’s not you.”
“I also got access to some new, powerful magic,” Alex said.
“Well... Can you lock the door with this magic?” She asked.
“Yes?” Alex said, demonstrating by locking the latch.
“Good,” She smiled, placing a hoof on his chest.
“You just watched me DIE,” Alex said, “Are you sure you wanna do this?”
“It’s my coping mechanism, okay?” She said, “Besides, his last wish was for a quickie.”
“I guess,” Alex sighed, “We might need to change this story’s rating to add a ‘sex’ tag though.”
“What?”
////
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YES! YES!
also 20th of august
saints row 4
Haha that ending was awesome XD
3005035
Wait... Did I make a reference to Saints Row somewhere in there?
WOOOOOOOO!
Best transformation ever.
And you have obliterated the fourth wall. Good job.
3005555 no just pointing out
Less than two weeks!
3005588
Dude, BEST transformation ever. I agree.
Alright this story was absolutely amazing. That plan was executed extremely well (I guess multiple personality disorder has its benefits
) anyway this chapter is going to keep me occupied for the rest of the day. Thank you very much!
Is this the end of OTR? or just the end of Haven Station? (i really really really hope its not the end of OTR
)
3009525
Of course not! I have huge plans for the end of season 1.
So are you planning to do anything with the wedding and the crystal kingdom situations, cause I mean you haven't even gotten to discord yet (not that I'm complaining) so if you do both of those, you could make this story so long and get like 10,000 likes 'n stuff.
3010162
I'd like to at least get to the crystal kingdom, since I've already written in Sombra. But there are a few factors, including work and school, since it's taken me more than a year to write one season, i figure it'll take a LONG time to reach equestria girls.
I'll continue, as long as the reception is positive, and I have ideas to write.
Thanks for asking too!
3010198 awesome, I was thinking you were about to end the story at Discord and I was getting worried cause this is my favorite story right now.
3023387
Or is it...?
Na, you're right.
Ha. Still can't stop laughing at the last line...
Hear that noise at the end of that sentence? That sound of nothing
That's the sound the 4th wall makes when you butcher it to death with an ending like that. Even Pinkie would be jealous...
3064388
Naaaaaaaa, i've had flamers before. People with their whining about HiE, claiming self-insertion, and gary-stu whateverthefuck. You've obviously got more class, simply by what you've already said.
I respect people that come out and say what's on their mind, without being dicks about it. Constructive criticism is an important thing for writers, and if you have some, i'd love to hear it.
I know some people flip out over the smallest negative thing, and run crying, like their world is crashing down around them. But, i'm not that person, and i know i have some lame stuff in my work. (Probably a bit more than 'some.')
3064491 Haven Station.
The biggest thing was how obvious everything was, not just to the reader, but to the characters as well. It made it harder to really "get into" the story. It also needs a good hard editing:
He just... said "Walking out of the room" instead of doing it. There were a couple instances where dialogue didn't get them at all and several cases of "A Wild Quotation Mark has appeared!" for example.
Those were the real "Flow breaking" technical errors.
The Big Bad being changelings was well masked though. The Bullet Train and the Arcade both screamed "Human" and really threw it up in the air. The Alex-Dax switch? Big suprise... of course partly because we were INSIDE 'Dax's' head while he was "controlled" and wouldn't have expected him to think of himself as Alex.
3064565
All totally valid. I know i have some real problems with grammar. I have no editor, and tend to miss REALLY obvious stuff when i proofread.
As for human stuff, it's been an internal debate for a long time with me. At first, i wanted to say that this took place in a completely magic driven world, with no technology past fairly basic stuff. But, every now and then, they show advanced things, like an arcade machine in 'Hearts and Hooves Day,' and a movie theater in 'One Bad Apple.' So, i went crazy, and decided that if all that existed, then a lot more existed too. I know LOTS of people would disagree with me on that.
The Alex and Dax switch was workable in my mind, because even though Dax was a different character, he wasn't REALLY a different character. And when it came to saving his friends, particularly Dash, he was just as dead set, and on the same wavelength as his counterpart. They were the same pony, after all.
But yeah! Thanks for the honestly, Have you read the rest of the story yet?
3064651
The switch being unexpected... that was listed as a GOOD thing...
It wasn't "electronics" or "industrial-ness" that screamed Human... it was Cultural components in some of the games. A Bullet Train isn't so far "out there" that it must be human... it was the fact that it was a HUMAN Bullet Train... designed for bipeds? Lots of pony things designed for bipeds. Guns for the Zombie game, race car games in a world without cars,
Dance DanceHoof Hoof Revolution built for solely bipedal dancing, laser guns for the laser tag.That being said, the human tone of some of the technology and equipment was mentioned because it contributed to the mystery around the identity of the Big Bad which was another good thing.
If by this you mean the post Haven Station chapters of the main story, no. I finished this one before bed and was waiting until this one was done to do those so I didn't miss anything.
3066072
I definitely write a lot of stuff in a human way, but that's just because I have a hard describing how ponies would be secured to a vehicle like that, and I feel like it would take a pretty big paragraph just to say how they're being held down. So, I just describe them as sitting human style, because it's semi-canon that some ponies sit that way. Same with walking on their back legs to play ddr. I'm just reaching.
Some would call that being lazy, and perhaps not creative, and I kinda agree with them. I just don't have tons of free hours to write stuff as accurately as I could.
So, yeah.
Also, I wasn't sure if the "Alex and dax thinking the way," was a plus or minus, that's all.
3005593
The fourth wall, my friend, was obliterated long ago.
Are we still on the subject of the fourth wall? I thought that thing was gone around chapter 37.
~Sylpheed and Eli
You know, the fourth wall has been tortured so much in this it's not even that much of a suprise any more.
~Sylpheed
3095052
Good to see you catching up.
And the fourth wall kinda called me an asshole and left. I didn't mean to make it cry or anything. Hopefully it'll answer my texts and come back.
3110304
you have got to be kidding me.
Funny you bring that ship up, there was a story I read a while back that involved those two together.
...
Ha! You wish, and I enjoyed it so much.
Of course you did. You always do. And to make it worse, whenever he hears about a ship that he gets super excited over he goes and writes a story involving them.
As long as it doesn't involve and OC.
Yes, I simply cannot forget that fact.
~Sylpheed and Eli
Okay, so one of the buildings collapsed...
Why haven't they nuked the entire place, again?
It was stated that the resort was expensive to build. So vaporize it and they can't get the bits they put into it back. Collapse their economy. Standard warfaring technique.
Now, for a non-standard warlord like myself, I'd vaporize the resort and everything within fifty miles, and everything up to fifty miles underground. You don't mess with Kage. Ever.
3151973
Oh my god, you're right.
Well s*beep*it, now I gotta give you that five bucks.
Oh wow, that whole beep thing carried over to here with us? Jesus I swear if that follows us around for the remainder of our lives I don't know how I'd live.
I really couldn't give a c*beep*ap...okay you know what, you're right, we better find a way to get this thing back to the story this came from.
Eli, did it just...put a link to the story?
I suppose it did, I mean h*beep*ll, it doesn't have a fourth wall, so why not?
~Sylpheed and Eli
Alex needs to stop hanging around pinkie pie.
Reading the description, had to channel the old black lady in the swamp from "The Princess and the Frog".
"Oooohhhthis gun be gooood!" - Mama Odie
3211258
If that was the only mistake I made, then holy crap. Also, it's not totally impossible you never know what's going on elsewhere in the pony world. So yeah. That's my reasoning
3211746 I have a thought on who...
3902184
This story was unique for the multi chaperts. Normally they're one shots.
And really, I only do it because it's nice to get the viewer boost. This story got me an extra 100 readers just because it was a new story.
3946884 Yes that to, now that I think about it I'm surprised that The Odyssey was the first thing that popped into my mind when I read that.
4165682
I've never heard of that! And i for sure don't ship Cinnamon Bun with Flame Princess. Just in case there happen to be two characters with those names.
Alex and Dax merging? Yes please!
Cool story, bro. Oh and that Sex Tag thing . . . don't. It will only confuse people . . . ponies . . . whatever.
That...was...AWESOME!!! Too bad Alpha had to die, but he had no life at that point. Just more crap for Alex and Rainbow Dash to go through.
5335442
I'm glad you enjoyed it. A lot of people tell me they loved Haven Station. I keep meaning to touch it up with some editing.
Still, just wait until Return. That's my personal favorite.
5491798
Yeah, I miss Eli being on this profile with me, but he's moved on from this site a while ago. As a result our comments have kind of stopped on the main story about 30 chapters or so ago and I haven't read. I'm planning on reading and commenting sometime in the future, although Eli won't be accompanying me.
5491798
Also, I've been commenting alone on the new remake KoH has been doing so keep an eye out for my singular comments there. I also thank you for taking the time to read our rants in the comments.
About to read, this reminds me of doctor who 'god complex'.
Or the part of ponies disappearing reminds me of that planet that is a library.
It's pitty Dax had to die. I'd missed him intervening Alex and his personality. Though he's not 100% dead I concider souls merging a death for Dax
Still awesome plot twists there
You got me with that line alone right there.
Good work buddy, keep it up.
5774860
I died
This had been an interesting read, with how Dax was behaving. Really ccontinued to develop him further :)
Loved all the references in your stories as well.
Don't even forget to mention Twilight and her fantasies X3
balance achieved!
A quickie! XD