Chapter 1
Lord of the Rings - Return of the Ponies
A.K.A: I can't believe I'm doing this! I know my pony characterisation is probably shoddy, and I'm probably getting the battle timeline mixed up, but crack-fic is cracked...
Fluttershy stood at the edge of the court in front of the Tower of Ecthelion, at the very prow of the bastion that divided the circles of Minas Tirith, and watched the battle going on below, worrying about the safety of her friends.
It had started out innocently enough. After the kidnapping of Rarity by the Diamond Dogs, Twilight Sparkle had decided to teach her how to 'wink out'. As they'd gotten better at it, the two unicorns had started practising synchronised jumps, and even carrying other ponies with them. For the last test, they'd gathered all their friends at Twilight's home, intending to travel all the way to Canterlot.
In retrospect, maybe it the instant before the spell took effect hadn't been the best of times for Pinkie to pull out a party blower and blow it. In all fairness, she'd intended to blow it after they arrived, but the effect had messed up both unicorns' focus, and while they'd teleported to a white city built into a mountain, it hadn't been Canterlot.
Initially, things had been awkward, to say the least. The equines of this world weren't as bright as even some of the woodland creatures in Equestria, excepting Shadowfax, though even he couldn't talk to them. The creatures that were, had two legs and grasping paws like a squirrel, though they seemed to come in three or possibly four main sorts. They'd been as surprised as the ponies when the six appeared on top of the tower.
They'd interrupted one of them being burned on a funeral pyre, even though he wasn't dead yet. Rainbow Dash had hauled in a cloud and made quick work of the fire, and Applejack had lassoed the one who'd started it before he could jump off the tower. He was now locked up in a hospital, 'the houses of healing'. A white maned 'human' stallion in a wizard's hat, Gandalf seemed to take over, and in a discussion between him and Twilight Sparkle, they'd found out what was going on.
By the time Rarity and Twilight Sparkle had recovered enough to try travelling back to Canterlot, none of the ponies had wanted to. These people were facing a dreadful enemy, even worse than Nightmare Moon, and this Sauron person had a massive army of monsters that were attacking the city.
They'd decided to stay and help out, though Fluttershy's help had been mainly carrying stuff back and forth between the different levels, circles of the city. If only they'd been wearing their Elements of Harmony necklaces! They would have gone back for them, but Twilight didn't think she could find this place again if they did.
Rainbow Dash was out flying. The bad guys had scary, spooky people Nasty-guls or something, flying not-quite dragons that had been diving on the good guys and causing all sorts of trouble. However, none of them could out-run or out-manoeuvre Rainbow Dash, and it was hard to attack anyone when you kept on getting a face-full of pegasus polymerised cloud, or getting your helmet used as a drum by a set of hooves.
Twilight Sparkle and Rarity were down at the lowest gate, helping to buttress it against a battering ram with their combined telekinesis. A big scary human on the other side had appeared at dawn, and tried to blast it open with some magic, but the combined powers of Twilight Sparkle, Rarity and Gandalf had held it, barely. Now most of the evil army had stopped trying to get in, but there were still probing attacks, and the two unicorns were almost exhausted.
Meanwhile Applejack and Pinkie Pie were outside fighting alongside the horses of Rohan (and their riders), and trying to stop the big monsters, Oliphaunts, that were stomping around. She could see from here a flash of orange run between the legs of one Oliphaunt, which stumbled, spilling the house and the dark coated humans on it's back. Applejack had probably lassoed it's legs together.
Though a normal rope would have snapped like thread, after the Ursa Minor incident, Twilight Sparkle had decided if something like that had happened again, having a rope that wouldn't break would be a good idea. She'd gone on one of her 'crazy weekends of research' and figured out a way. Both she had Rarity had sacrificed some tail hairs and bound them into the rope, investing them with some unicorn power, Twilight's growing spell and Rarity's strongest anti-wear spells.
The result was a rope that could extend to whatever length Applejack needed, and was pretty much unbreakable. Applejack was making the most of it. Some of the black humans, the ones that got up charged her, but she turned and gave the lead one a pair of hind hooves in the brisket that knocked him flying into the others and into unconsciousness.
Pinkie Pie was rather more inventive, running up Oliphaunt trunks and waving rubber mice in front of their eyes. That tended to make them run into one another and knock each other out. She was also doing a good job of bouncing over and around the pointy sticks the black men were throwing at her. But there were so many, and so many other bad people out there, and if Gandalf was right, the one behind it had more armies just like this one.
Fluttershy would be the first to say, (very quietly) that she wasn't the most forceful or assertive pony, but she'd seen the human colts and their mothers huddling together in the upper tiers of the city, the bravery of the humans fighting. It had gotten good and mad, and decided to do something to stop it. That was why she was up here.
She set her sights on a distant mountain, with a glowing fiery circle at the peak, and started flying towards it, taking care not to look down. The one behind it all was right there, so that's where she had to go to stop this business at the source. She was so intent on her distant target that she completely missed the Witch King flying on his fell beast, break free of the latest puff of Rainbow Dash fired cloud and swoop down on her.
Fortunately, someone else made her spot check, and just before the monster descended on the unsuspecting pony, it received a Sonic Rainboom to the chin as Rainbow Dash dive bombed it at the speed of sound. Blinded and deafened, the fell beast fell, tumbling out of the sky, to break it's fall and it's neck right next to the horse of a Roharim yclept Dernhelm (a.k.a Princess Eowyn), who proceeded to give the dismounted and disoriented Witch King another, fatal taste of girl power.
Rainbow Dash swept up alongside her, exclaiming, “Fluttershy? What in Celestia's mane are you doing out here? I thought you were helping out in the city!”
“I'm going to see this mean Sauron person and tell him to stop doing all this!” The yellow pony replied.
Rainbow shook her head. “Have you gone Pinkie Pie? It's dangerous out here!”
“Lots of people are getting hurt, or worse! I can't just stand with my wings folded and do nothing!”
Rainbow recognised the signs. This was crusading Fluttershy, the one who'd stared down a giant red dragon, and a cockatrice, _while_ it was turning her to stone. Trying to dissuade her was pointless. She looked around, the other flyers had retreated when their leader had gone down.
“Well if you're going to face the big bad, there's no way your facing him on your own! Besides, at the rate you're flying, they'll be writing history books about this battle before you get there! Grab on to my tail.”
Rainbow flew up in front of Fluttershy and when the other pony had a mouthful of rainbow tail, started flying forward as fast as she could, towing the other pegasus. While she wasn't travelling at quite her usual speed, it didn't take more than thirty minutes to fly over the Black Gate, and approach Barad Dur.
As they got closer, it became clearer, a tall, twisted black tower rising from rocky peaks, and at the top, a massive eye made of flame, with a slit black pupil. The eye of Sauron turned to face them, and they felt it's attention on them. Even Rainbow Dash, epitome of loyalty and courage, quailed slightly as it's the full malevolence of eons focussed on them.
Fluttershy asked, “Rainbow, could you ask those dragons not to bother me? If it's not too much trouble?”
The rainbow pegasus thankfully peeled off to face the flying Nazgul rising from the lower reaches of the tower as Fluttershy flew on alone, into the very face of the eye.
She frowned. “Listen here you big meanie! Just because you are an evil overlord of evil with a big glowing eye and a huge army, doesn't mean you can go around bullying people and making them unhappy!”
The Eye redoubled it's fury, pouring all it's hate and malice into a beam of concentrated evil that would have laid waste to countries and seared armies in their tracks. But Fluttershy was having none of it. After all, she'd been glared at by Angel Bunny.
“Don't you dare glare at me in that tone of voice!” Her own frown turned into a full on glare. “You will not hurt all those other innocent people, or anyone else, not on my watch! Do... you... understand!”
She came right up to the centre of the Eye and eye-balled it. There was a moment of contact between them, then the slit pupil shrank to a dot, and the Eye seemed to shrink in on itself.
“Well?” Fluttershy flew even closer, and the eye tried desperately to look away. Drips of liquid fire pooled along the bottom edge and splashed on the stones of Barad Dur below.
“Now, this is what you are going to do!” Fluttershy stated in a good approximation of the Word of God. “You are going to go away, and don't ever let me catch you trying to plunge Middle Earth into an age of darkness ever again!”
Her eyes were mere slits, but that just redoubled the power of the Fluttershy stare. The eye of Sauron quivered, blinked and finally winked out, quelled by a far more powerful force.
On the mountains below, the tower of Barad Dur shook and started to crumble, and the Ringwraiths, who were still futilely trying to get past Rainbow Dash, collapsed in piles of cloth and armour as the rings that tied them to their master shattered, freeing the spirits of the human kings they'd enslaved.
On another mountainside, Frodo felt the one ring suddenly redouble in weight and burn with icy cold, then lighten greatly. He almost slipped, but was supported by Samwise.
On Pelenor fields, the armies of Mordor suddenly failed their morale checks, and started to retreat. The retreat was turned into a rout by the arrival of ships carrying Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas and an army of ghost warriors.
Rainbow Dash flew up alongside Fluttershy. “Now that was awesome! You totally out-stared that thing!”
Fluttershy blushed. “It wasn't so hard, I mean, I had twice as many eyes as it did.”
“I see!” Rainbow Dash chuckled. “So you sorta defeated him in stare-eo!”
“Oh you! Come back here!” Fluttershy chased after the cackling pegasus, herself giggling, as they headed back towards Minas Tirith.
Authors Notes: Not to be taken at all seriously. Definitely not up to my usual standard. I was hit by a single idea after re-watching the episodes 'Dragonshy' and 'The Stare Master', followed by the excellent MLP/Lord of the Rings trailer spoof. www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=coExS8nrsGY
Fluttershy stares down Red Dragons and Cockatrices. How would she do against Sauron? After all, the bigger the eye, the more there is for her to affect. From there it was simple matter of getting the MLP FiM group to Middle Earth, which pretty much wrote itself. I'd love to have expanded on the idea, but I have a lot of other projects, and people waiting patiently on me.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- dramatic_spoon · 1.8k words · 35 2 · 1.3k views
- Tumbleweed · 7.4k words · 60 2 · 1.9k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.145 seconds
Total duration
660 users online
694,167 hits today, 2,439,861 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
heres a
Holy crap I just reread this on EqD a couple days ago and it's here now? Sweet!
225101
It's complete so there's no point in tracking it, but you should fave it for sure.
img.ponibooru.org/_images/5b9f32a31f1d89c1d78182b66aafccf5/118043%20-%20animated%20derpy%20derpy_hooves%20Lord_of_the_Rings%20LotR%20rainbow_dash.gif
......*pulls out cigar* BRILLIANT!!!
i1099.photobucket.com/albums/g399/cascadeoflies/Pony%20images/sickofitItellyou.png
This raises a most important question...
Why didn't they just fly the ponies to Mordor?
In the original it took the elaborate risky efforts and willpower to defeat the dark army that had been building, distract Sauron from Frodo's quest and get the ring to Orodruin to remove Sauron from Arda and make his remaining forces collapse. Here, even Sauron can't resist Fluttershy's stare and he's a fallen maia, so all it took was a hard stare and a lecture and he actually feels remorse and banishes himself!
STARE-eo? Dang, never heard that one before! What a horrible pun!
I like this idea. Fluttershy of all people defeating Sauron with pure force of will and a stare
. I also loved the image of Rainbow getting into dogfights with Nazgul, pure awesome
I would kind of like to see what things had been like if the ponies had joined up with Frodo from the start of his trip and helped all along the way.
225514 One does not simply fly into Mordor... unless you have Rainbow Dash acting as fighter escort. If she can beat up on Star Scream, some fell beasts should be no trouble.
Typos:
it's back.
it's legs together.
it's fall and it's neck
felt it's attention
as
it'sthe full malevolenceredoubled it's fury, pouring all it's hate
- its
That was funny.
Its a good thing Fluttershy is the element of kindness. If she wanted to she could take over equestria in a day. We had a close call after the iron will incident!
Heh, that was great.
If I should ever write a crossover like this I'll have to use this exact way of getting the ponies to Middle Earth.
Brilliance.
Nope, I'm sorry, the Eye of sauron wouldn't be that easily defeated.
Reasons:
1. Sauron is more powerful than a red equestrian dragon (Which are really weak compared to anything in middle-earth) or a bloody chicken that can turn MORTALS to stone so I would guess Barad Dur would hold from that.
2. The eye of sauron would have a lot more will power than that.
3. She would have been eaten by one of the dragons along with Rainbow Dash because, even if Rainbow Dash was faster, she would make the mistake of trying to kick it in the face (Nice skittle treat for the dragon)
4. Archers are quite good at shooting easy targets such as birds. A pony at a snails pace would be even easier.
In the end, It wasn't that good (In my opinion). I'm realistic when it comes to the odds of a pony and Sauron the great.
What can I say? I sold my soul to mordor.
5793478 Remember the MST mantra.
Fluttershy's stare beats the Lidless Eye because it's funny. My take is the bigger the eye, the more powerful the effect.
Unlike the red dragon in Equestria, which was basically Smaug (even Sauron steered clear of that one) RD was meeting the Fell Beast in the air, which means Sonic Rain nuke to the face.
Also, no archer can fire higher than around 150 feet, the energy needed to propel the arrow is more than even the mightiest hero with the most powerful bow can supply. Fly higher than that, you're golden.
5794037 It was a joke comment. Even though I'll stick with the fact that sauron's will power would be stronger than that. A lot stronger than that.
5793478
6089696 I'm serious. Sauron is bae.
Ringwraiths, at all times, release magic that affects anyone near them. Anyone who does not sufficient willpower is immediately reduced to whimpering mess of fear and terror. Rainbow was constantly near them. They also aren't stupid. They'd figure out a way to get her. They could just screech until her ear drums burst and while she's falling to the ground, clutching her bleeding ears. Just have the Fell Beast eat her. Or just stab her.
Eowyn was absolutely rekt by the Witch King in both the book and the movies. It was the combined efforts of Merry sneaking up to him and stabbing him in the back with a sword that was specifically designed to kill wraiths and her stabbing him in the face while he was at his weakest that she beat him. Because you didn't mention Meriadoc I'll just assume "girl power" means "she was splattered across the fields by the Witch King"
Sauron has a willpower greater than nearly any of his Maiar brethren. He dwarfs dragons even in his weakened state (see his massive army and powerful wraiths for that citation). He certainly doesn't cower just because someone looks at him. Melkor looked at Sauron a lot and he never cowered before him. Melkor being the most powerful thing in all of Tolkiens work besides the God of the world pretty much shows how powerful the beings Sauron usually interacts with are. To cut this long explanation short. No his big eye doesn't make it easier to affect him. Although the fact he's a massive fire might affect Flutters in all the worst ways.
Bitching complete
my reaction after reading this sheer concentrated blob of stupidity that you call story:
But of course!
6515636
Ponies have magic.
6945746 Good for them. I'm sure they wouldn't snap like twigs before Sauron the Great.
Maybe the comedy failed for some readers but you hit gold with me. I laughed. Two hooves up for comedy.
Oh man I'll never be able to take the Nazguls seriously again!
5793478
5794037
6515636
You've brought up some good arguments, but you neglected the one that counters them all:
Sauron was a Maiar and a contemporary to the five wizards sent to fight him (including Gandalf and Saruman) during the times covered in The Silmarillion, and as such, they were nearly equal in power before the forging of the One Ring.
But Angel Bunny is secretly the Valar Melkor, to whom Sauron was merely his lieutenant.