dramatic_spoon
Joined 8th Dec, 2011 ·
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As with the last one, it's a pain to tag this right.
On another note, I really wish we had a Moon Dancer, Tree Hugger and Coloratura tag.
Link in description is broken.
I find this one kind of lacking. It's nice that we are seeing the other Elements in this universe, but we are given very little about them. I think that this one would be better if it was longer with more time spent on the characters, or perhaps simply focusing on a single one. As it is, it kind of feels like the whole story is wasted because it is simply setting up a "surprise twist ending."
Nice story but rather simple. I agree with Hopeful_Ink_Hoof that more could be done with the other elements.
I also wonder where Moon Dancer's Canterlot friends are since none of them are even mentioned.
6906000
That's a good point.
Perhaps I should have did it around Moon Dancer and broke it into a few chapters instead of one.
If I revisit this, I'll probably do that.
6906051
I wanted to focus more on Ponyville, so I didn't really think about them.
6906000
Hafta agree here. This would be much better as a multi-chapter story. I'd especially love to see where the original EoH have ended up, such as AJ owning a Manehattan business firm that ships and supplies apples all over the nation, along with more information about the Alt6 in general.
On another note, I think the 'twist ending' seemed a little too forced this time, like you chose Trixie just to say you didn't choose Twilight.
6908693
Hm.
I might try that later, if I keep working on this.
6908806
I do hope so. I like AU stories, and this one has promise.
Spike needs to get off the stage. He and Trixie Lulamoon are not allowed to exist in the same universe. 'Least, that's what their deplorable lack of interaction throughout the history of G4 has communicated to me.
I honestly thought this was chapter one. :)
I noticed a couple times, you called her, Mood Dancer. Beyond that, excellent job.
6921491
Well that's embarrassing.
6921555 Shit happens...
Don't sweat the small shit...
It’s ALL small shit.
Seriously, don't worry too much about it. Things like that happen.
That was delightfully trippy. Also, it needs an editing pass for the names.
Interesting story, is this story gonna get a prequel?
7009623
I dunno.
I honestly don't feel like rewriting Episode One again.
7009947 Okay, I understand.
Pretty much the same as the last story with the surprise character ending. Though it is still an interesting AU. Wonder who is the "Starlight" here.