I'm a writer, and a Brony I do a lot of Roleplays on the side, which does distract me from writing at times...Anyhoof, I'll be sure to get most chapters in on time from now on.
I'm alone, I need Friendship, Equestria Has Brought me Joy. I've Found my True Friends, And Now I Live My Days Here. This is My Adventure.
A Human ventures into the land of Equestria, he meet's Twilight and her friends, he meets the Royal Sisters, he promises his allegiance to The kingdom of Equestria, He's finally found a place that he can call home. but the question is, Will it last?
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Well If This Story manages to get more Comments And Readers I'll post the rest!
Massive wall of text, separe the text PLEASE
Other than that, it's a desent start
The Wall of Text! Quick! Everyone, pull out your Candy Excaliburs and kill it so we can go to The Hallow!
I have to agree with the others, if you can fix the text that would be great. Other than that, this is an ok start.
Yes I've started Separating the "Wall of text" Hopefully this will make it more enjoyable, I'll be posting 3 chapters
Loved this story it was nice and simple with a nice friendly mood in it
ok why did celestia think of the everfree forest?
what about all the dangers that lie inside?
474422
Well the Reason she thought of the Everfree is because as you cna tell the character is different than most. He has a sense of how to handle situations, especialy dangerous ones, but mainly being as there's quite a bit of logic to it, If you we're to ahve him in the Everfree he'd be a look out of sorts, see dangers coming long before they arrived to Ponyville, Canterlot etc... Basically if he did choose to go to the Everfree it'd be for the greater good.
479992for the greater good hotfuzz
481014 Heh, Well I hope you're enjoyin g the Fic, I'm working on the Sequel as well
Some constructive criticizem:
Invite Spike next time!
This is a great fic. However I do have some ways you can improve.
1. There is a lot of repetition in there. After about three times, we all know it's Equestrian time.
2. There is some redundancy. Some things a given.
3. Y U NO INCLUDE SPIKE!?
4. Well... That's all I could notice.
INSTANT FAV!!!
486458 I'll be sure to include Spike some more in the Sequel now, and yea I know this Fic isn't the greatest, but I felt really good about writing this, i mean 64 pages? It's bigger than any report I've ever written. Anyways, Glad for the input and happy that you enjoyed it.
500493 Eeyup. I really liked it. Is the sequel out yet?
I see what you were talking about
this is... kinda random...
I mean. there is very little to the story, and no explanations for the things that happen.
if you work on it a little, you could become a very good writer.
1706767
I agree, this was my first ever fic/Book/writing anything.
I feel that overtime I've become a generally better writer, this isn't a great fic, and I don't feel that The sequel is much better, but I feel that my latest fic is going to be the best yet.
Good