• Member Since 23rd Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen March 29th

Scootaloo-009


T

Two thousand years ago, the terra ponies and the alicorns waged war over who would control the world. In the end Discord settled it by attacking both sides. Both were all but wiped out. Or so it was thought.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders have gone missing and it's up to their sisters and their friends to find them. But they might not be looking for three fillies anymore... And why is Trixie calling herself "new and improved"?

Chapters (26)
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Comments ( 159 )

Freaked me out. Thanks for that.

Moment twilight died I was like wait a second.....what day is it again

At first I was like: :rainbowhuh:. But then I looked at the calendar and I went: :rainbowlaugh:.

I'm looking for a proofreader or editor if anypony is interested.

So because I'm awesome, I entered the Design a Pony contest. Here's my entry:
i128.photobucket.com/albums/p171/Mechsrule1/kendallapple.png

His name is Kendall Apple, and he actually comes from this story, though at the end. He's a very minor character but the only one I actually liked enough to consider entering.

I have only done once before, but I think it work out fine. If you are looking for for a proof reader I would be happy to help.

anything in the world scares me, but strangely, not cannibalism. which is strange, because nothing scares my sister EXCEPT cannibalism.

But this still freaked me out a bit, just to think of Rainbow randomly murdering her friends.

A story about the missing evolution of all ponies is an interesting idea, hope it can be done right.

Also, I don't know if this story was written before or after the Wedding episode, but would it be more "up to date" if the Alicorn count was up to three members? Celestia, Luna and Candance.

610583
Somepony didn't read chapter 1 very well, I mentioned Cadance. She's classified as a 'winged unicorn'. Basically a lesser alicorn. They don't live as long and are about as strong as regular unicorns.

610595

No, that human didn't read the story at all.

I looked at the description and bailed.

>Pinkie Pike

Yeah, that needs fixing.
But what can I say? The chapter certainly is interesting.

You got a solid story going. Nicely done.

One thing I did notice, though, other than random grammar mistakes here and there, is that you are overly fond of telling us what the characters look like. It's fine every now and then for a change of pace, but constantly telling us that Rainbow Dash is a cyan pegasus is entirely unnecessary.

But like I said, other than that and a few other random grammar mistakes, you got a nice story going. Keep up the good work :pinkiehappy:

I wanna who Trixie got mixed with...:trixieshiftright:

This is a great story and I can't wait for more updates. BTW, many grammar mistakes, but the one I see most often is misuse of commas. One tip I can give you is when one character is addressing another, you put a coma before/after their name. Like, if Applejack was talking to Big Mac it would be, "Hey, Big Mac," instead of "Hey Big Mac,"

anyway, I'll be keeping an eye on this story!

(Pinkie's sounding a lot like a Terra Pony :pinkiecrazy:)

Nice chapter. "Common in infant unicorns", I'm going to guess this is only the start after reading that. If that machine does give alicorn magic after all, I'm also going to guess the main 6 are going to go in a modified version in order to be strong enough to fight off whatever the tera ponies have planned?

644357
There's no such thing as alicorn magic, just magic, and magic users. Alicorns are just much stronger on average then unicorns. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom are actually very weak by comparison. I do actually have this numbered out, listing each magic user's stats. It's all written down, and I'll release it once the story is over.

For your benefit, here's a brief rundown. On a scale of 1 to 10, increasing exponentially, comparing the average amount of magic a given adult pony has at their disposal at a given time (or the maximum amount of magical energy their body will store):

Unicorn: 2-6
Fairy Pony: 8-10
Alicorn: 6-10
Winged Unicorns: 3-5

Celestia/Luna: 10.0
Twilight (strongest unicorn ever, according to Celestia): 9.0
Rarity: 3.8
Trixie - Before: 6.2
Trixie - After: 7.1
Apple Bloom: 2.8
Sweetie Belle: 3.2
Scootaloo: 2.1

I have a full list for basically every magic user, but I'll add that later, as it has some spoilers.

Twilight is boss :twilightsmile:. Still better than even modified trixie :trixieshiftleft:. The magic statistics are also appreciated, its a lot better than trying to guess what they are. You should re-post the magic strenght list every few chapters, it might help out the people who don't this one.

646289
There. Found a better solution. :pinkiehappy:

Twilight approves this list :twilightsmile:

I'm looking forward yo the next chapter, pre-rewrite it was my favorite. So far there are a few things I liked better in the original, but over all I really like how this is coming together and can't wait for more.

So, I'm working on a later chapter, and I need your help. Yes you. Well not your help, Matt. I hate you. But everypony else, I need your help.

Basically, in a later chapter, I'm sending the trio to magic camp, and I need ponies to fill that camp with. I'm looking for at least 8 ponies.

What I need from you: a name, basic description (1 paragraph, including colors and basic personality, and a fact about them relating to magic. It could be a favorite spell or school of magic, or the first spell they learned, or something like that). That's it. I will of course give full credit for each pony.

Rules: They must be a foal and they must be a unicorn. I'd rather only have blank flank ponies. If being a decedent of the main cast is key to their character, they can't be there for obvious reasons.

Deadline: It's going to be like arc 5 or 6, so there's no rush. You have at least a month. Just post your pony here, or pm me. If I get more than 8, I'll work something out.

Does anypony remember back in the original version when I said there was only going to be 5 arcs? Well it's now nearing 10. Yeah. Most are 2-3 chapters, but arc 6 is a 4 chapter monster, and I think my favorite.In it, we learn Scootaloo's real name.
Also, we need more character icons, like for general griffons and changelings, not just named ones.

Darn. My ponyself is a unicorn, but he's no foal. His magic is all keyed to research and fact-finding and numbers. (Yeah. Fetch has been pushed out of a few libraries and bookstores over the years)

"She was weighed and measured, asked to fly around, but could only buzz off the floor a bit. Her wingpower being measured at barely 0.1."

The period after "bit" should be a comma, so it should look like this:
"She was weighed and measured, asked to fly around, but could only buzz off the floor a bit, her wingpower being measured at barely 0.1."

Alternatively, if you want to keep it as two sentences, you could go for this:
"She was weighed and measured, asked to fly around, but could only buzz off the floor a bit. Her wingpower was measured at barely 0.1."

All in all, a solid chapter. There were other mistakes, but that was the only one that bothered me enough to detract from the story. I'm looking forward to more. :pinkiehappy:

692099
You posted this from chapter 31. So much confusion... :rainbowhuh:

" “Quick, to my house! I have styling supplies!” Silver Spoon declared. The pair quickly fled. "

To the Silver-Spoon-mobile! I sense a spin-off series! :rainbowlaugh:

716396
That may be because he rewrote the story!

huh??? why is scoots in a therapeutic talk with twi... did i miss something... :unsuresweetie:

Good to see this updated, I have been waiting for it. :pinkiehappy: another good chapter, looking forward to reading what comes next.

752024
From what I recall it's kinda like a flashback storytelling. Eventually the story will get around to where we started here. It also allows the story to be told from one pony's point of view while letting somepony interrupt for whatever reason.

It also tends to catch your attention when the story starts off with line like "You killed two beings and watched a friend die." With a line like that involved you kinda want to stick around to find out what happened.

Nice update, though I'm still not all too pleased with the whole meat-eating stuff. It seems very out-of-place in the land of Equestria... :unsuresweetie:

753041

You would be correct. It is out-of-place, that's why it's kept secret. Some ponies are more okay with it than others. Pegasi are more accepting because they live so close to griffons.

So, here are a few things I have going on, besides this story. Check them out.

My other story.
My other, other story.
My blog based on a character from both this story and Samurai Applejack.
My pony FB page.

I honestly can't tell if AB has actually died, or is still alive. They say she died, then Scoots says "And it would have been a sucky year without Apple Bloom," which makes me think she's still alive.

YOU WILL NOT KILL APPLEBLOOM OR ELSE :flutterrage:

796477
Fluttershy isn't wrong. Apple Bloom's heart has stopped beating.:fluttershysad: That is what most would consider dead.

796524 It's not whether or not he kills her, it's whether or not she stays dead...

Yea, I really hope that hasn't changed in this revision. Guess we'll see next chapter.

Well, Applebloom is dead you say? I'm not sure how I feel, because part of me is convinced that the story indicates she's no longer dead (or she never died, either way). Guess I'll find out next chapter

"Scootaloo, you killed two beings and saw a friend die. That is not nothing,"

Sounds like AB is dead to me, but why in the world would the author just kill off one of the main characters so early?:applecry:

Nice to see this updated. Only a few of my favorite stories have updated recently, so I'm glad this one still has decent update times. :pinkiehappy:

That was a nice update. This story is moving along rather nicely.

Anywho, the one thing that bothers me is Dash and the griffons. I can understand that she grew up on eating meat. That part is at least understandable, even if I'm not a big fan of it. However, no matter how hard I try, I can't picture Dash going out and hunting. That just doesn't sit right. But that's just me and my personal preferences.

Woo! By the way, where's BronyCin gonna be this year

Please fix the summary 'fairly ponies' Other than that, on my to read list

Awesome Sauce I wonder how Sweetie and Applebloom will react to scoots confession... :unsuresweetie:

855355 Probably next January (I won't be going to that one.) They did one last year, and two this year, one in winter, one in summer. They'll probably do it again next year, so I'll be at the next summer one.

857055 Oops. I mean to say, where is the next one. But that information is also extremely relevant.

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