oh how i hate my family to the point i have constant thoughts of...

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To be honest, nobody will probably read this ever, but nobody has ever really talked about this publicly and it took me a lot of therapy to be able to accept it and talk about it.

So if you stumble across this, hello.

I joined fimfiction when I was 13. I LOVED ponies and I loved writing. I grew up on here. I met a lot of cool people.

I also met a lot of bad people.

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4 years ago, Canadian YouTuber Matthew Santoro uploaded a video, talking about an unnamed romantic partner who he claimed was manipulative and forced him to turn his friends and family away in favour of her and she had also psychologically and physically abused him during their relationship.

My Abuse Story

Hereee!!!!

... yourwelcome

Have you ever found yourself alone with a person you had nothing in common with? What if that person was a sex-obsessed, racist prick who felt nothing but contempt for you? That’s exactly what you’ll find in the newest chapter.

[Adult story embed hidden]

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Starlight and Shepherd are sitting in Twilight's castle. Glaring at one another. Twilight is sitting between them, smiling awkwardly.

Twilight: "Well... Um... Shepherd, as you know, we're going to be having another Friendship Intern-"

Shepherd: "No."

Twilight: "Shepherd, please-"

Shepherd: "No."

Twilight: "We need to teach her the magic of friendship."

Shepherd: "She needs to be shot and left to be eaten by maggots."

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I was lucky enough to get today and i hope to have a chapter nine out by sometime this evening EST. I refuse to apologize for the time in between chapters but when I first started writing this i was supposed to be studying for a test and instead wrote 3 chapters in one night LOL. I'm still not sure what the f### i was on that night and I've been looking for it ever since~.
Okay, enough bloggin' time for writing.

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(((Heads-up: there is some dark and deeply personal stuff ahead. I don't fault anyone for not reading it.)))

This post could also be called, “Why do you do terrible things to ponies?”

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This damn site...

I dunno.

I thought i had made a few good friends here. Making friends is hard for me. Those that do know me know i have issues, which i won't go into here.

Still, in the past year i've opened up, made a few good ones whom i've gotten to know rather well. Then there are those that i thought i knew, and have today revealed themselves.

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So this happened when I was in a call while others were editing Lady Froey's latest chapter of Music to His Ears:

"Hey Froey, I edited the thing you posted..."

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So I decided to go on FIMFiction to check if anypony commented on my story... I was met with several rude and hurtful comments and someone posted a video saying 'Retard Alert' ... Wow so hurtful that I'm actually crying. This is the 2nd brony site I have been bullied on. I get it if somepony doesn't like my story but there is no need to go and post such mean things on it. Constructive criticism is one thing bullying is another and it's not ok. My story is not finished yet so it's not perfect I

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There is one thing in life that I have so much trouble trying to understand - why do people abuse animals?

This subject has a very serious rage spot in my brain and heart for all people that think it’s funny and entertaining to harm, injure or mindlessly abuse animals with nothing but neglect. To me, those who do this are the biggest scumbags on the planet, and they all deserve to be lined up against a wall while crowds of people toss cinder blocks at them.

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So Tuesday I went in to work, the day after giving my two week notice, and was told to sign an injury report and get out or the Business Manager would call the cops and have me arrested.

I could have punched him.

I SHOULD have punched him.

But I held back. And I aught to take pride in that. When I got home I wrote this up:

Yell and I will nod.
Threaten and I will shrug.
Call me rude and I will be polite.
You kick me just to see me break.
Yet I am strong in my weakness.

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In case you missed it, in the beginning of the story there is a discord link. It is legitimate! This link leads to my discord dedicated to this story specifically. Teh link is as follows https://discord.gg/ejXtg9s I mention this because I would like a bit of help with chapter 11. Further details can be extrapolated directly from my brains on aforementioned discord.

At Canterlot Palace, Shepherd is pacing back and forth and trying not to trip over his own cape.

Blueblood: "The entire Crystal Empire fleet is heading this way, Your Dreadfulness."

Shepherd: *groans* "Oh good! More pressure! I don't suppose we could just tell Shining this is all a wacky sitcom plot?"

Raven: "Alas my Dark Lord, he is unlikely to believe you."

Applejack: "To be fair, he does kinda hate yer guts anyway."

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You know, just enough that instead of looking at something dumb you wrote and saying "No no~! Try again!" you dumb enough to smile and go "Yeah, this is fine." And then you post a thing and you're happy you did a thing that wasn't just busywork that day. Then your Aunt calls you up to do some crazy shit because everyone avoids her, but you're too nice to not go over and help her because no one else does. Then suddenly you're sewing, and you can make clothes, you made your own shoes and

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It's been a while, and I like writing these, so have something... a little depressing. At least it makes me laugh. Hope it makes some of you giggle too. Or cry. Whatever.

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Why do I gotta be me? (source)

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Okay, I've needed to get this blog post out for a while, for a whole big bunch of reasons.

First of all: thank you everybody for the kind words! I've gotten a lot more comments and messages lately on Maternal, most of it good and prompting me to continue. I'll get to that!

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