Some ponies would say it’s crazy to miss an apple tree. Some ponies would say it’s crazy to want to throw a party for the apple tree you miss. And all of those someponies would probably be right.

This is a story about two crazy ponies who decide to take a fateful trip out to Appleloosa.

Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns is famous across Equestria as a center of academic excellence. Only the best and brightest unicorns are offered places, selected by their academic merit, magical ability and passion for study. To make the admissions process as fair and reliable as possible, all candidates are given three exams by different teams of examiners, who then meet in private to decide which students are most deserving of a place.

Winner of the December 2014 Writeoff competition: Behind Closed Doors.

This story is a sequel to Past Sins

Hearth's Warming is a time for friends and family to come together, celebrate harmony, and welcome the new year. Nyx is looking forward to just this as she rides the train to Canterlot with Spike and Twilight. She's going to meet her extended family for the first time and wants nothing more than to make a good impression. Yet, the sheen of the holidays can't hide the trouble caused by meddling grandparents, relentless reporters, and a paranoid uncle.

This is a shameless, all kinds of wrong send-up of the trashy dating "game show" Baggage, which airs on GSN in the USA and stars Jerry Springer.

For those unfamiliar with the formula:

One bachelor must select from three hopeful bachelorettes who each have baggage no sane person would admit to anyone, let alone air on national television. The bachelor must wade through the increasingly horrific personal baggage, and at the end of the show, must choose the one of the three whose baggage is the least run-and-scream-worthy. However, the bachelor himself ALSO has a big piece of baggage, which is revealed at the very end, allowing the girl he's chosen to opt out of the date if his baggage is just too much.

Twilight Sparkle just loves the new dress Rarity gave her for her birthday. So much so, in fact, that she's got to get her groove-thing on. She has to... dance.

Naturally, this leads to horrifying consequences. Including, but not limited to: winding up in the dance-future, rescuing a dance-topian society from its evil dancerlord, and dancing with the power of friendship.

The Canterlot Archive decides to create a document listing the age of every pony in Equestria. It's impossible to mess this up.

The Canterlot Archive messes this up.

Proofread by Octavia Harmony.

Special thanks to Selbi for additional help.

Live reading by CaptainBron3y

Apple Bloom wants to see her parents, the Cutie Mark Crusaders want their cutie marks, so they do the the only logical thing and try to raise the dead.

Can these three amateur necromancers pull it off without bringing back something twisted and wrong or a horde of the undead?

Tagged 'Sex' for a bumper crop of farm innuendos.

After the student body of Canterlot High is swayed by yet another surprise musical number during lunch, Sunset Shimmer muses the students are easily influenced by songs at this time. Pinkie quickly comes up with a song of her own.

Sunset Shimmer considers this a high point of her week.

It’s not easy being the only dragon in a town full of fickle, forgetful ponies.

Spike’s day is not off to a good start. Twilight is in micromanagement mode and it seems every pony is at least a little crazier than usual today. He’ll try to push through like always, but the population of Ponyville isn't going to make it easy for him.

Gore tag for a possibly cringe worthy pie eating competition.