//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: ????’s Song // Story: Cafeteria Control // by Justice3442 //------------------------------// Cafeteria Controlling Chapter 5: ????’s Song -ooooooo- Author’s notes: Just a heads up, this is probably the weirdest thing I’ve written and that’s saying a lot compared to the rest of the story and everything else I’ve written. -ooooooo- Sunset Shimmer approached her usual table, walking towards the empty seat next to Pinkie Pie. Her other friends had already sat down, Rainbow Dash sitting next to Pinkie, and Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy sitting on the other side of the table. Sunset stood in front of her chair and carefully set down her small fish bowl in front of her before unceremoniously tossing a half-eaten apple towards the center of the table. She followed this up by shooting her baseball glove an irate look and ripping it off her hand and also tossing it towards the center of the table. “Girls, I can’t take this!” Sunset moaned as she took off her baseball cap and shook her hair loose. “I hate wearing pink, I’m sick of apples, and I hate wearing this random baseball stuff!” Pinkie gave Sunset a slightly sad look while Applejack flashed her a dejected look. “What?!” Rainbow Dash cried as she leaned forward to look at Sunset. “All the sports stuff is awesome!” “Dash,” Sunset began, leaning forward as she held a palm upwards, “there’s a line to get into the nurse’s office from all the students who’ve tripped over balls, or have accidently been hit in the head with a bat, or stick, or whatever… Not to mention all the students who tripped or fell down stairs because they’re wearing cleats indoors!” “Well maybe the problem is they aren’t wearing enough protective padding!” Rainbow retorted. Sunset groaned in frustration. Pinkie smiled. “You have to admit, Rainbow Dash makes an excellent point!” Sunset frowned at Pinkie. “Yeah, well this will be a lot less funny when someone gets skewered on a javelin!” Sunset paused and stroked her chin as she thought about this. “… Or funnier depending on who it is… Still! It’s not fun to walk around carrying this stuff all day!” Sunset said as she motioned to the stuff in front of her. “Awww,” Fluttershy uttered as she set down a partially eaten veggie burger, “what about your little fish?” Sunset leaned forward towards the fish bowl and waved an index finger up and down in front of it. “Sunny here is the bright point of all this.” Pinkie giggled. Sunset looked up from her fishbowl. “Though, I think he’d be safer at home.” Sunset looked around the cafeteria. Students still carried around sports equipment of all sorts in addition to their pets, all while eating or carrying an apple or apple-baked good. “This place looks like some sort of gigantic slapstick fight scene waiting to happen!” Pinkie giggled and inhaled a huge gulp of air. Sunset quickly leaned over and covered Pinkie’s mouth. “I swear if you encourage a food, sports, or any sort of fight in here, I will drag you on top of this table and pile drive you!” Pinkie whimpered slightly as Sunset removed her hand. “I’ll be good…” Sunset leaned back in her chair and nodded. “Well, now that that’s settled, we need to keep an eye out for those three stupid bit—” “Whoa!” Rainbow Dash said as she quickly placed her hand over Pinkie’s ears. “Sunset, you know you can’t use that sort of language in front of Pinkie!” Pinkie frowned. “What language? Was Sunset going to start speaking French again?” Sunset sighed. “Keep an eye out for those three stupid finches!” The other girls at the table began to giggle. Sunset sighed. “Girls, I’m puping serious here! We’ve got those three runts on the ropes, but—” “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Sunset’s face burned a bright red as she stood up. “You know what? I’ll take care of it myself!” Applejack tried to contain her laughter. “Now don’t be like… hehehehe… that, sugarcube,” Applejack said. “We … hehehe…  already joined in on spyin’ on those three. We’re not about to abandon you now!” Rarity suddenly stood up and thrust an index finger into the air. “Ideeeeaaaa~!” Sunset turned and narrowed her eyes at Rarity. “Is it you singing? Because there’s already been too many songs, and—” ‘SLAM!’ Sunset was cut off as the cafeteria doors opened once more. Adagio, Aria, and Sonata emerged, having cleaned themselves up slightly from this morning. Sunset gritted her teeth as Rarity took the opportunity to quietly sneak away. With the eyes of the entire CHS student body on them, the three girls began to harmonize. “Aaaaaaaaah…Aaaaaaaah… AaaaaaAAAAAAACK!” ‘THUD!’ Adagio cried out in alarm and pain as a folding chair was hurled into her. “AAH!” “EEK!” ‘CRASH!’ ‘BANG!’ Aria and Sonata also cried out as two more chairs went airborne and collided with them. Soon all three where laying in a heap on the ground, something that was beginning to happen to them with startling regularity. Sunset casually walked over to the three, her leather boots tapping against the hard cafeteria floor as she walked. She stopped just a few inches from the pile of girls. Adagio glared up at her. “You think throwing a few chairs at us will stop—HEY!” Adagio cried out as Sunset leaned down and quickly snatched the gem from around her neck. Sunset quickly followed this up by collecting the gems from the other two girls. “Our magic gems!” Adagio cried as she laid on her stomach from the bottom of the pile. “How did she know!?” Sonata gasped, laying on top of the other two on her back. “I know, right?! It’s like someone repeatedly explained to her what they were and how they worked!” Adagio banged her head against the floor and sighed heavily. “Oh yeah… right… It was all your fault.” “SERIOUSLY!” Aria cried as she laid sandwiched between the other two girls, her stomach pressed against Adagio. “Sonata, you are the worst thing to ever have existed ever!” “Pffft, Whatever…” Sonata said dismissively. “At least I’m the cutest out of the three of us.” Adagio and Aria merely lowered their eyelids and glared up at Sonata. Sonata giggled. “Oh you know it’s true!” Sunset smiled as she put the three gems into her coat. “Sorry, girls. Looks like you’ll have to rely on your winning personalities to get the students here to like you… God help you.” Adagio glared up at Sunset. “This isn’t over…” “Huh…” Sunset uttered as stared off into space. “I wonder how wow well red magical jewels hold up in a blender…” The three girls exchanged panicked glances, then looked up at Sunset. Adagio looked up at Sunset sheepishly. “However, this is on extended break…” Sunset nodded, a smirk on her face. “I figured as much.” ‘SLAM!’ Sunset narrowed her eyes and turned as the cafeteria doors slammed open again. Rarity strolled out carrying her keytar. Rarity opened her mouth and raised her hand, inhaling before she… ‘Thud!’ “AIE!” … got hit in the face with a chair. “NO!” Sunset shouted. “No more songs! I am not dressing up in anime fashion or whatever the heck it is you were planning!” Rarity looked up, her head wobbling slightly as she attempted to focus on Sunset. “Lo…lolita…” “Yeah, that!” Sunset cried. “I’m not dressing up as anything that shares a name with something strange enough that Kubrick decided to direct it!” “Awww…” Pinkie uttered in a disappointed tone. “Well, there goes my idea for A Clockwork Orange themed dance…” Sunset looked over the crowd and walked back over to her table, grabbing another chair on the way. She then proceeded to stand on top of the table. “Now, if any of you sons of finches got anything else to say, now’s the puping time!” The cafeteria doors swung wide again. The students gasped. Sunset groaned. Twilight Sparkle boldly marched into the cafeteria, Spike trotting behind her. “Hold it right there, Sunset Shimmer!” Twilight Sparkle cried. “How dare you— WHAAA!”  ‘THUD!’ Twilight fell to the ground, followed by the chair that collided with her head. Applejack sighed and shook her head. “Saw that one comin’.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Man, Sunset’s really good at chucking those chairs around. I need to get her to join the track and field team…” Pinkie giggled. “Yeah! Do you think she’d be good at the javelin throw?” Rainbow Dash frowned. “On second thought… maybe just chairs is good…” “OW!” Twilight cried as she pushed off the floor slightly and rubbed her head. “Sunset, did you just throw a chair at me?!” Flash Sentry suddenly rushed in between Sunset and Twilight. He threw his arms out wide and stared at Sunset. “Sunset! Stop this! If our time together meant anything to you, you’ll stop—OW!” Flash cried as folding chair collided with him bringing him to the ground. Flash looked up with a hurt expression… emotionally and physically as he now had a red spot on his forehead that was slowly starting to grow. “That was cold as ice.” Sunset shrugged. “Sorry, but I’m really enjoying just chucking chairs at people.” “Flash!” Twilight cried as she crawled over to him. “Are you okay…” “Twilight…?” Flash murmured softly. “Is that… is that you?” Twilight made her way up to flash and propped herself up, placing one hand on Flash’s cheek and the other on his chest. “I’m here, Flash!” Flash swallowed. “I’m so… so happy you’re back…” Flash placed a hand against the one Twilight held on his cheek. “But… she got me good… I’m… I’m fading fast here…” “No, Flash!” Twilight cried. “Don’t leave me!” “WOULD YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF?!” Sunset cried. “You just got hit with folding chairs! Just go hang out in Nurse Redheart’s office and make-out or something! I don’t even care anymore! I took care of the villains, alright?!” “The only villain here is you!” Twilight cried as she looked up. “Uh… Also the three Celestia warned me about who have red magic jewels they use to control people… Kind of like the three you’re holding up right… right there… Oh…” “Go home, Sparkles!” Sunset cried waving the jewels around. “I got this! Idiotic villains are defeated and we didn’t even have to shoot anyone with friendship rainbows or anything!” Twilight puffed out her lower lip. “But… but… Shooting villains with friendship rainbows is all I have!” Sunset folded her arms across her chest. “You are a magical princess who can fly! You seem to have plenty going on for you at the moment.” Twilight frowned at Sunset. “Yeah… but still!” “Rarity!” Spike cried as he noticed Rarity laying on a heap on the ground. He bounded over to her and nuzzled her. “Spa… Spike…?” Rarity uttered as her eyelids slowly opened. “I’m here, Rarity!” Spike said. “Thank goodness you’re here!” Rarity cried. Spike grinned wide. “You missed me?” Rarity nodded. “Yes… Though mostly it’s because I didn’t bring a pet today and I look unfashionable… Do you think Twilight would mind if I borrowed you for a little while?” Spike paused for a beat. “… You know what? I’m surprisingly fine with this…” He turned towards Sunset and scowled at her. “I can’t believe you’d throw a chair at Rarity!” he cried.  “Hey!” Sunset protested. “That could have been anyone who threw a chair at her!” “Could have been anyone, but it was Sunset Shimmer~,” Pinkie sang out. “YOU LITTLE SNITCH!” Sunset cried. “Wait…” Twilight said while she rubbed her head. “Wouldn’t it have made more sense just to deny doing it at all?” “I… Shut up!” Sunset snapped. Spike suddenly broke into a run and before Sunset could do more than throw her arms in front of her, Spike leapt onto the table… “AAAHHH!” … and then promptly fell off the table, landing on top of a food tray that slid as momentum carried both tray and dog past the edge. ‘CRASH!’ Sunset breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh you poor dear!” Fluttershy said as she bent down over Spike, who woozily stood up to his feet and brushed a lettuce leaf off his head with a foreleg. “Here, let me help you…” Fluttershy said as she picked up Spike and placed him on the table. Sunset smacked a palm against her face. “God lamb it, Fluttershy!” Spike began to growl as he stared up at Sunset. “Sorry but,”—Spike’s lips pulled up revealing his teeth—“I’m going to eat your face, now,” he snarled angrily. “But I need my face!” Sunset protested. “It goes with the rest of my sexy body!” “You should have thought about that before you threw a chair at Rarity!” “HEY!” Twilight cried. “Also Twilight,” Spike said. “But mostly Rarity…” “WAIT!” Sunset cried. “Before you eat my face, I have to ask… You’re like… Twilight’s pet dragon back in Equestria, right?” “Pet?!” Spike snarled. “I’m much more than that!” Twilight nodded. “Spike’s my dear, dear slav—I mean mailbo—er… uh…fire starter, twisted fire star—No…shoot… what’s the word…” Spike sighed heavily and turned to face Twilight. “Brother?” he suggested. “What?” Twilight exclaimed. “Pffft… No! I have one of those already and I love him!” Spike narrowed his eyes. “Right, so much that you don’t even mention him to any of your best friends until you find out he’s getting married?!” “I remember the word now!” Twilight cried. Spike looked up. “Best Dragon Friend for Life?! Heck, I’ll even take ‘Thunder Buddy,’ at this point!” Twilight shook her head. “Nope! Live-in butler!” Spikes eyes went wide as he stared back at Twilight. “Wow…” Adagio said. “Even I feel bad for that little purple dog… dragon… whatever it is now…” “I know, right?!” Sonata said. “And people think we’re evil!” “You know what?” Aria said. “For once, I agree with you.” “Yay!” Sonata cried. “Validation!” Aria sighed. “But don’t push it.” “So…” Adagio began, “are you girls going to get off of me?” Aria and Sonata looked at each other and shrugged. “Naw.” “Nah.” Adagio gave a heavy sigh. “Hey!” Twilight cried. “Not to change the topic, but I’m absolutely going to change the topic. Weren’t you about to chew Sunset’s face off?” “You know what?” Spike said as he folded his forelegs across his chest and sat back on his hind legs. “Suddenly, I’m not hungry for face!” “Come on, Spike! Ol’ friend, ol’ buddy, ol’ pal!” Twilight cried. “Do it for your big sister, Twilight!” “Don’t ‘big sister’ me!” Spike cried. “Not after what you said!” “I was joking!” Twilight said. “Look! To prove I care about you, I’ll help you eat her face.” “Okay… just… what?” Sunset said, the color draining from her face a bit. “… Uh… Wow…” Spike replied. “Now that you’ve mentioned joining in, I just realized how gross and disturbing this conversation is…” “Well, we’ll cook her face first, of course!” Twilight said. “What?! Why?!” Spike cried. “Yeah! Why?!” Sunset agreed. “Because we’re friends, and friendship is two pals munching on a well-cooked face together!” Twilight answered. Flash looked up at Twilight, and then looked around. “Anyone else a little turned on by this? Huh? No… Just me? Oh… okay…” “Holy crud, Twilight!” Sunset exclaimed. “The heck happened to the magic of friendship and all that garbage?!”  “You threw a chair at me, and then another at Flash!” Twilight cried. “I’m pretty peeved here!” “Yeah!” Flash said as he laid on the floor. “You’ve gone too far.” Sunset leveled an index finger at Flash. “Your head is resting on top of her lap, you should be thanking me!” “… Yeah… but still!” Flash cried. Sunset looked back at Twilight as she flung her arms to her sides. “Come on! Face eating?! That’s just… That’s just perverse and weird! Just get some ice-packs and the two of you will be fine!” Twilight though about this. “Alright, yeah… hindsight being 20/20, I can see how I maybe crossed a line there. In my defense, it was mostly the blow to the head talking…” “Aw…” Flash said sadly. “AN-NEE-HOW,” Sunset cried, “I was just going to ask Spike if he thought it was weird that diamond dogs get human counterparts while he gets stuck as a dog!” “WHAT?!” Spike cried as he scanned the cafeteria crowd, eventually picking out two rather large, muscle-bound students and a much shorter, but no less strong-looking student. “Oh what the heck! That is so unfair!” Spike sighed heavily and jumped off the table. “You know what? Buck this world! I’m heading back!” “Spike no!” Rarity pleaded. “Don’t leave me here in such an unfashionable state!” Spike shook his head and began trotting off. “Sorry, Rarity. But I refuse to stay in a world completely devoid of alternative-world-body-transformation justice!” Rarity frowned heavily before a quick ponderous expression came over her. “… I’ll rub your belly if you stay…” Spike stopped dead in his tracks. “You know what? Who am I to question the wisdom of the universe?” “Yay!” Rarity exclaimed happily. Twilight looked at the ‘Diamond Dog’ humans, then back at Sunset. “How’d you know about the Diamond Dogs anyhow?” Sunset smiled. “You’d be amazed how many gems a few flashlights and a bunch of batteries gets you with a race that spends lots of time underground. Speaking of which… Do you think the portal will stay open long enough for me to make a killing selling technology to Equestrians?” Twilight narrowed her eyes at Sunset. “You threw a chair at me! I don’t see why I should be inclined to do you any favors!” Sunset rolled her eyes. “Are you still going on about that?! You’re running your hands through Flash’s hair as we speak!”  “I’m not used to having fingers, alright!” Twilight snapped back. Sunset folded her arms across her chest. “You also suggested splitting a plate of my face with your dog!” Twilight paused as she furrowed her brow at Sunset. “Fine!” she huffed out. “We’ll call it squarezies.” “Good!” Sunset cried. “Now can you just let me have my mom— Aaaaaand you two are already making out… right… right in the middle of the cafeteria and everything. I’ll just… I’ll just pretend I didn’t have to see that…” Sunset said as she turned with a slightly nauseous look about her. Sunset turned towards the masses of Canterlot High. “Well everyone, you’re free! No more songs! You can go back to… whatever it is you all do when you’re not blindly obeying music in the cafeteria.” The students all went quiet and exchanged glances with each other other then turned back towards Sunset as they shifted uncomfortably in their seats. “But… what do we do now?” Snips asked. “Yeah! What do we do?” Snails parroted. “What?!” Sunset cried. “What do you mean ‘what do we do’?! You go back to not relying on songs to tell you what to do every day! That’s what you do!” “TRIXIE’S NOT SURE SHE’S READY FOR THE RESPONSIBILITY OF FREE WILL AGAIN!” “OH MY GOSH!” Sunset cried. “It’s been less than a week!” Sunset sighed and allowed her arms to fall back down to her sides as she hung her head. She lowered herself back to the ground and collapsed into her chair. Her friends gathered around her. Even Rarity walked up as she held Spike in her arms and scratched his belly. The dragon-turned-dog let his eyes roll back into his head as his tongue lolled out of his happy-looking mouth. “I give up,” Sunset declared to the five girls hovering above her. Pinkie frowned. “But everyone’s so confused and sad!” “And they’re not crazy about Lolita fashion!” Rarity protested. Sunset narrowed her eyes at Rarity. “Plenty more chairs in the cafeteria, Rarity.” Rarity frowned. “I’ll be good, darling…” “Come on, sugarcube!” Applejack said. “You can’t quit now! You’ve come so far!” Rainbow Dash nodded in agreement. “Yeah! Just solve this problem like you solved all your other problems today!” Sunset cocked an eyebrow. “You want me to throw chairs at the entire student body of CHS?” Rainbow Dash shrugged. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it…” Sunset shook her head. “Tempting… but I know what I must do…” Sunset said with a solemn face. She stood up inhaling and exhaling heavily through her nose. Fluttershy rested a hand on Sunset’s shoulder. “Do you need any help?” Sunset shook her head. “No… I’ll do this alone…” The tapping from Sunset’s boots could be heard clearly through the cafeteria as she walked towards the center. The students all went silent as they followed her with their eyes. Sunset looked over the expectant faces, took a deep breath, and began to sing. -ooooooo- Twilight grunted as she trudged forward, hefting a massive wooden pole over her shoulders. Sweat dripped from her forehead and down her face, soaking her clothing as she stared forward with a miserable expression. In front of Twilight, Flash turned and looked back at her. His clothes were similarly soaked in sweat. He breathed heavily as he also hoisted the pole on his shoulders. “Huff… Look on the bright side… puff… At least we’re still together…” “Shut up, Flash,” Twilight said as she shot Flash an irritated glance. “Right… Shutting up…” Flash said as he turned and stared forward. “You know…” Rainbow Dash began from behind Twilight, “… blind side being 20/20—” “HINDSIGHT!” Twilight snapped. “Yeah, that thing… uh… happening… It probably wasn’t a great idea to let Sunset sing given she spent the whole week being treated like garbage by the school…” “I just got here!” Twilight cried. “How the heck was I was supposed to know Sunset had spent the whole week being tormented by everyone?! Anyhow… What I don’t get is why you’re down here too.” Rainbow Dash’s cheeks turned slightly pink. “I may have thrown a soccer ball at Sunset’s face…” Twilight narrowed her eyes. “May have?” Rainbow Dash frowned. “And it may have hit… her face that is… So… I might be carrying this thing for a while…” “Oh, whine, whine, whine!” Twilight, Flash, and Rainbow Dash turned to their left as Adagio, Aria, and Sonata held aloft their own massive pole. Aria continued, “You think you have it bad?”   Adagio spoke up, “We were the ones responsible for most of Sunset’s mistreatment. We’ll be lucky if she ever lets us stop hauling this thing around!” “For… huff… puff… for realsies!” Sonata agreed. “SHUT UP DOWN THERE!” The group flinched as Sunset Shimmer shouted at them. “I’m trying to enjoy the sounds of being pampered here!” Attached to the poles that Twilight and the others carried was a large, magenta-carpeted platform. A platform that held an ornate throne, occupied by a lounging Sunset Shimmer who had returned to wearing her usual attire. Her boots and socks laid on the platform in front of her as Rarity worked a nail file over Sunset’s toenails and Pinkie fanned Sunset with a large palm tree leef. Applejack walked over to Sunset with a round silver tray that held a single tall glass full of an orange beverage that turned reddish as it reached the bottom of the glass. A straw and tiny umbrella stuck up out of the drink. Applejack lowered the glass in front of Sunset. “Here’s your drink Sunse—” Sunset shot Applejack a scowl. “—Uh… m’lady…” Applejack corrected. “Thank you, servant,” Sunset said as she took the glass. She reached into her jacket with a free hand and pulled out a single dollar bill, which Applejack gleefully accepted. “You may go now.” “Thanks, m’lady!” Applejack said as she turned and walked away from Sunset and her throne. She stopped as she reached the edge of the platform. “Hey, m’lady…?” Applejack said as she looked at the mass of people who carried the platform underneath. “How do I get down?” Sunset smirked. “You get down when I say you can.” “Uh… okay then…” Applejack said. “Just hang tight, dear,” Rarity said as she continued filing Sunset’s nails. “You should really enjoy the royal treatment by proxy…” “I hear that!” Spike said as he rested next to Rarity on a pillow. “I know, right?!” Pinkie said enthusiastically as she continued to fan Sunset. “It’s great being carried to all the places Sunset wants to go to!” Rarity teetered to herself. “I mostly just enjoy the being carried around…” “Uh… I guess I’ll just… go wait in the corner… or somethin’,” Applejack said as she wandered off. Fluttershy approached holding a large fishbowl on an ornate magenta pillow. Sunny floated in the center of the bowl. “I cleaned up Sunny’s new bowl and fed him just like you asked, m’lady,” Fluttershy said. Sunset nodded. “Good! Set him next to me.” Fluttershy sat both pillow and fishbowl next to Sunset’s crown and stood up again. “I think you deserve a reward,” Sunset said with a smile. “Oh that’s okay!” Fluttershy said. “I like taking care of animals!” Sunset shook her head. “I insist.” She snapped her fingers. Pinkie leaned down and sat her palm leaf behind the throne and popped up with a large smile and an even larger orange wheel in her hands. “Erm… This is a cheese wheel…” Fluttershy said. Sunset nodded. “Yep! And you’re going to eat the entire thing!” Fluttershy puffed out her lower lip and whimpered slightly. “But… but… I’m eating well again!” “Better safe than sorry!” Sunset retorted. “Now take your cheese wheel!” Pinkie handed the cheese to Fluttershy who stared at the item in confusion. “Erm… I guess I’ll just… start eating… all this cheese then…” Fluttershy said as she wandered off. “And you!” Sunset said as she looked up at Pinkie. “Get back to fanning!” Pinkie quickly saluted and retrieved her palm leaf. “Aye-aye!” she said as she continued fanning Sunset. “Awwww…” Sunset Shimmer uttered contently as she leaned back in her ornate throne. “… happy at last…” The End.