Cafeteria Control

by Justice3442

Chapter 1: Pinkie’s Song

“Oooooh… They’re that kind of odd!” Pinkie exclaimed.

Sunset Shimmer, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy sat at a long, rectangular cafeteria table together and stared out at the scene in front of them. A trio of female students had just walked into lunch and completed an oddly sensual musical number complete with plenty of random caressing of the student body. A song which had left the students of the school agitated and arguing with each other.

“Is it just me,” Sunset Shimmer wondered out loud, “or was that sort of highly inappropriate for a high school?”  She glanced out into the collection of quarreling students. “Am I right, Trixie?”

“TRIXIE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HER FEELINGS ARE DOING RIGHT NOW!”

Sunset sighed. “Been nice talking to you, Trixie…”

“Welp,” Rainbow Dash said, “good thing I just spent the last several weeks conveniently assembling a band.”

Rarity nodded. “It would seem to be remarkable timing, wouldn’t it?”

Applejack spoke up. “I’d say that’s more serendipitous than someone showin’ up with a fiddle that’s already been tuned for a hoedown.”

Sunset Shimmer raised an eyebrow at Applejack, but ignored her in favor of scowling across the table. “Fluttershy, is your main course a stick of celery?”

Fluttershy leaned back and slumped her shoulders, attempting to shrink away slightly from Sunset’s accusing gaze. “…Ma… maaaaaybe?”

“Okay…. just… what?” Sunset replied as she shook her head. “The school has plenty of vegetarian options, and even a vegan meal with some sustenance is not that hard to throw together! Why did you pick something to eat your body can barely digest?!”

Fluttershy frowned. “Well I erm… I’m kind of on a diet…”

Sunset cocked an eyebrow. “Are we having trouble achieving lift off when the wind picks up?”

“Hey!” Pinkie snapped. “Don’t bully Fluttershy!”

“I’m not bullying her!” Sunset insisted as she threw her hands up in the air. “I’m making sure she doesn’t die of malnutrition! Big difference!”

Rarity motioned to Fluttershy. “But you’re scaring poor Fluttershy!”

Fluttershy let out a quiet “Meep” in response.

Applejack nodded. “She’s more scared than a herd of cows in a stampede, alright.”

Sunset glanced at Applejack, sighed and moved on. “Fine, topic change. Has anyone noticed the entire school body seems susceptible to whatever songs tell them to do during lunchtime?”

“Whatever do you mean, darling?” Rarity asked.

Sunset motioned out to the students, many of them still arguing with each other. “You five team up with Twilight Sparkle and do a little music number, and suddenly the whole school wants to vote for her even though she didn’t know how to work a computer or photocopier. Adagio just shows up with a couple backup singers and suddenly everyone is ready for a big band battle…” Sunset looked up into the cafeteria. “…or maybe everyone just wants to punch each other.” She looked down. “Then again, I think this green smoke is magic…”

Pinkie suddenly stood up and inhaled a large volume of air.

“Whoa there, Pinkie,” Sunset said. “Save some oxygen for the rest of us.”

The other girls present giggled to themselves at Sunset’s comment.

Pinkie suddenly banged her fists on the table causing the other girls to jump slightly and Fluttershy to utter an audible “Meep…” again.

“I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO!” Pinkie declared. With that she quickly sprinted away from the table.

Sunset frowned as she watched Pinkie sprint off. “Should we be worried that she just did that?” she asked as she pointed after Pinkie with a thumb.

Applejack shrugged. “You know Pinkie, always runnin’ off somewhere. She’s got more energy than a bucking bronco during mating season.”

Sunset furrowed her brow. “Wow, lewd…”

“Ah mean,” Applejack continued, “she’s more confused than cow in a pig-pen.”

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Is that a thing that actually happens, or—”

“What Ah’m sayin’ is, Pinkie is more mixed up then a crate of fizzy-apple cider that’s been transported in the Apple family jalopy.”

Sunset sighed. “Yeah, I think I get—”

Applejack suddenly leaned closer to Sunset Shimmer, placing her face a mere inch away from hers. “Pinkie’s a few chicken eggs shy of a full dozen, a few squirts of milk shy of a full bucket, a…”

Sunset leaned back in her chair and looked at Rarity as Applejack continued to make similes. She placed a hand in-between her own mouth and Applejack, muffling her voice as she whispered, “Do you think Applejack gets we all know she’s from a farm?”

Rarity turned and shushed Sunset slightly. “Shhh… Don’t take this from her… this and apples is all she’s got!”

Sunset frowned. “God, that’s sad…”

‘THUD!’

Everyone turned as the double doors to the cafeteria suddenly flew open. Pinkie Pie stood there, a massive grin on her face.

“HEY EVERYBODY!” Pinkie cried. “I present a very special message from yours truly, Pinkie Pie!”

“Well… this won’t end well…” Sunset uttered.

Without further fanfare or ado, Pinkie broke into song.

“When you’re looking through your closet,

here’s a fact you just may posit.

There’s no need to pick out clothes that are discrete!

Why don’t you pick a color that’s really neat?

There’s no need to cause a stink!

Just show up to school wearing pink!”

“Hey, Sunset,” Rainbow Dash asked as she looked across the table, “how come you didn’t grab any lunch?”

Sunset smirked. “I feasted upon the soul of an innocent bunny for lunch.”

Without warning, Fluttershy’s eyes rolled towards the back of her head as her face fell forward onto her empty plate with a ‘clink!’

The group turned to look at Fluttershy as Pinkie’s song continued, then turned to shoot a collective scowl at Sunset Shimmer.

“So here’s some food for thought:”

“Stop worrying about what clothes are hot.”

“Don’t waste time in the morning having to think.

“Just show up to school wearing pink!”

Sunset folded her arms across her chest and narrowed her eyes slightly. “I’m just going to assume its Fluttershy’s poor choice of diet that made her do that.”

Sunset Shimmer walked down the sidewalk towards the massive three story building that was Canterlot High. She wore her typical outfit composed of a magenta top with a large red-and-yellow sun emblazoned on the front, black leather jacket, orange skirt with one magenta and one yellow stripe going down the side, and black boots with a purple flame motif on the front. Additionally, she wore a large pair of black sunglasses, something she was thankful for as she looked over the students of Canterlot High as she approached.

Sunset sighed heavily and smacked a palm against her face as she witnessed student after student decked head to toe in pink clothing. “Seriously…” she muttered to herself as she let her hand fall to her side and she scowled out at the campus full of bustling students wearing pink, “… one stupid song is all it takes and everyone swaps out of whatever stupid thing they wear everyday…”

Sunset grumpily continued moving towards the school, her brisk walk having suddenly turned to more of a trudge as the bottom of her boots scraped the concrete with each step.

She made it as far as the large white statue of a horse in front of the school. The base of which sporting a number of mirrors, one of which being the portal to Equestria that opened about every two and a half years.

“HEY IT’S SUNSET SHIMMER!” a voice called out in a rather aggressive tone.

Sunset froze in place as her name was scornfully called out. She looked out the campus grounds as scores of students suddenly stopped what they were doing and stared at her, quickly followed by each person walking towards her. Soon she was trapped between the large statue and a half circle of high schoolers.  

Sunset swallowed as she looked at all the angry faces belonging to students of Canterlot High, each person decked out head to toe in pink clothing. “Uh… Hey, everybody…” Sunset greeted nervously as she pressed her back against the base of the large white statue. “Look, if this is about the whole turning into a demon thing and mind controlling everyone to march on my home world, I’m really sorry about—”

“SHE’S NOT WEARING PINK!” a female voice cried angrily from the mob.

“WHAT?!” Sunset cried. “That’s why you’ve all surrounded me?! Because I didn’t listen to Pinkie’s ridiculous song she made up in like 10 seconds and decided to wear what I always wear?!”

“LET’S TEACH HER A LESSON ABOUT TRYING TO BE DIFFERENT!” a male voice cried.

“Oh, come on!” Sunset exclaimed. “Can’t I just borrow a couple hair bows, or something? Or maybe get by with ‘you’re not wearing the right color’ pinches? I just dressed like I always dress…”

“LET’S CHEW PINK BUBBLE GUM THEN RUB IT IN HER HAIR!” another male voice cried.

“What?!” Sunset cried.  She glanced up at her hair, conveying a sense of fright on her face despite wearing sunglasses. “Oh please don’t put gum in my hair!” Sunset said in a pleading tone. “Do you have any idea how long it takes me to get my hair to look like this every morning?”

“I’VE GOT SOME GUM!” a female voice called out.

“ME TOO!” another female voice added.

Sunset pursed her lips into a tight grimace as several students produced small boxes of chewing gum and began passing them around. She desperately scanned the mass of pink for someone, anyone who might at least try to help her.

Her eyes fell upon a stout boy with a pink t-shirt adorned with a pair of scissors, and a skinnier, taller boy in a pink sweater with a pink-and-purple snail on the front.

“SNIP, SNAILS,” Sunset cried, “DON’T DO THIS! THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE’VE HAD TOGETHER, LIKE THE TIME WE…” Sunset paused and stared up briefly, tapping an index finger against her cheek as she dwelled on this. “Uh… the good times we’ve had escaped me right now, BUT THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE WILL HAVE!”

“Shun the nonbeliever!” Snips cried.

“Yeah, shun!” Snails added.

“Shuuuuun!”

“Shuuuuuuun!”

Sunset glared angrily at the pair. “Catch me forcing you two into doing my dirty work, again!” she snapped angrily.

“GET HER!” a male voice called out.

The crowd began approaching Sunset, many students with wads of chewed bubblegum in their hands.

“NO WAIT!” Sunset cried. “I’M SORRY I DIDN’T WEAR PINK TODAY! I CAN CHANGE… MY CLOTHES! THAT’LL BE WAY EASIER THAN CHANGING MY ATTITUDE OR TREATING YOU CONTEMPTIBLE LOT OF CONFORMISTS BETTER THAN YOU ACTUALLY DESERVE! AAAAAHHHH!” Sunset threw her hands into the air as the mob descended on her, pulling her down into the pink mass.

Sunset struggled as best she could, but quickly found there was very little she could do against a several dozen high schoolers who were all set on shoving gum into her hair. Soon the mob’s sticky, saliva covered task was done and they parted, leaving Sunset on her knees, her hair a mess of pink globs and frazzled looking red-and-yellow locks. Sunset’s sunglasses hung at a diagonal angle across her face, the pair having been knocked around a bit in the struggle, and tears poured from her aquamarineeyes.

“Sniff… hhhehhh…. But I… just wore what I always wore!” she cried out.

“Sunset!”

“You okay, pardner?”

Sunset turned as she heard Rainbow Dash and Applejack call out for her. The two approached, Fluttershy close behind. Sunset noted each also wore what they usually wore and looked no worse for wear.

“Wait! Seriously?!” Sunset cried as she rose to her feet, her sorrowful look giving way to an irritated one as she readjusted her sunglasses. “I’m the only one who got attacked this morning?!”

“What in tarnation are you talking about?” Applejack asked.

“I just got mobbed for not wearing pink!” Sunset cried. She pointed accusingly at the other girls. “None of you got assaulted!”

Fluttershy looked at her outfit briefly then looked up. “Well, I erm… uh… I already wear a little pink…” she said as she motioned to the butterflies on her green skirt.

“Emphasis on ‘little’!” Sunset cried angrily as she flung her hands up in the air.

Fluttershy looked at Sunset with slightly frightened look as she took a step back from her.

Sunset continued, “Just about everyone else at school looks like they’re trying to find acceptance with a flock of flamingos and you and Dash apparently got missed for having a few splashes of pink here or there! And, hey! Applejack doesn’t wear any pink! How come she got missed?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Rainbow Dash said. “I think you’re taking this a little too hard!”

“I JUST GOT MOBBED FOR NOT WEARING A CERTAIN COLOR AND HAD GUM STUCK IN MY HAIR!” Sunset cried as she pointed to her hair with both hands. “I CAN TAKE IT AS HARD AS I WANT!”

There was a very brief silence as the other three girls stared at Sunset.

“Uhhh… phrasing?” Fluttershy said in a somewhat unsure tone.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack immediately doubled over into hysterical fits of laughter as Fluttershy tittered to herself quietly, but proudly.

Sunset raised both her palms over her face. “I seriously hate you guys so much,” she uttered.

“Hello everyone!” The group heard Rarity call out. “How are you all this fine morning?”

“Hey, Rarity!” Rainbow Dash said as she turned and waved.

“Heya, Rarity!” Applejack called.

“Good morning, Rarity,” Fluttershy said.

“Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggaaaaaaaaa!” Sunset Shimmer groaned as she looked over Rarity’s outfit.

Rarity wore a strapless, frilly dress that hugged her torso tightly as the skirt went from pink, to light pink, and finally to a pinkish white. A pink ribbon adorned the front just under Rarity’s décolletage with a much larger ribbon tied in her hair as well as behind the dress. Finally, pink forearm bands, pink boots with pink ribbons, and a large, frilly pink parasol completed the outfit.

“Sunset, darling! Whatever happened?!” Rarity cried.

Sunset momentarily put aside her disgust at Rarity’s outfit and glanced at her own hair. She sighed heavily as she answered, “A mob stuck bubblegum in my hair because I decided to show up to school in my regular set of clothes.”

“That’s what I meant, dear!” Rarity said. “How could you even think to show up to school without wearing pink? You know pink is in this season… or today at least.”

Sunset scowled at Rarity. “You know the messed up thing about this situation is if I stabbed you right now, I’d go to jail!”

“Don’t get snippy with me!” Rarity said as she motioned to her outfit. “I actually thought to wear pink!”

“That’s another thing!” Sunset cried. “You’re somehow wearing more pink than anyone else I’ve seen today! And that’s with the entire school looking like an aisle of girl toys?! It’s not like there’s some sort ‘who has the most pink on’ contest going on today!”

Rarity folded her arms across her chest. “Well if there is, I guess we know who’s winning, ‘Ms. Didn’t Wear Pink Today.’”

Sunset shot an irritated look up towards the sky and held out open palms. “Look at all the fu—”

 “HEEEEEEY YOU GUYS!”

The group turned as Pinkie bounded up, each one saying a greeting with the exception of Sunset.

“UuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggaAAAAAAAA!”

Rarity’s happy expression suddenly gave way to a grumpy one as Pinkie approached. Pinkie also wore the same pink bow-covered ensemble complete with parasol that Rarity was.

Pinkie giggled. “Hehehe… We’re twins!”

Rarity seemed far less amused. “Well one of us is going to have to change!”

“Would it help if I put on a purple eyepatch?” Pinkie asked.

“What would that help?” Sunset asked.

Pinkie turned towards Sunset. “Well, it would make the reference the outfit is making much more overt and—” Pinkie suddenly gasped as she stared at Sunset’s hair. “IS THAT GUM IN YOUR HAIR?!”

Sunset glared at Pinkie angrily. “Yeah! Thanks to your stupid song I got mobbed for not wearing pink!”

“Imma chew it!” Pinkie declared.

Sunset narrowed her eyes. “Don’t you do it!”

“Imma do it!”

“Don’t you do it!”

Pinkie suddenly threw her parasol away and pounced on Sunset.

“DANG IT!” Sunset cried as Pinkie wrestled her to the grass next to the school’s walkway.

Pinkie placed her mouth over the wad of gum on Sunset’s head and began frantically biting it with an audible “OM NOM NOM…”

“STOP THAT!” Sunset cried. “I’LL BREAK OUT MY WRESTLING MOVES! DON’T THINK I WON’T!”

“OH MY GOSH!” Pinkie exclaimed as she lifted her head. “You guys have to taste Sunset’s hair! It’s like some sort of wonderful bubble gum mixed with strawberry lemonade flavor!”

“GIRLS! HELP!” Sunset cried.

Rarity shook her head. “I spent all morning getting my make-up and outfit right! I’m not about to mess it up by roughhousing!”

Fluttershy looked down at the two struggling girls with a slightly frightened look. “Yeah…uh… sorry… but… no…”

“The NON-stereotypical girls, then!” Sunset cried as she placed her hands on Pinkie’s face and tried to push her off. “HELP!”

Rainbow Dash looked down at the two girls on the ground below her, then over to Applejack. “Give ya two-to-one Pinkie eats all of Sunset’s hair,” she said as she produced a ten dollar bill.

“I like them odds!” Applejack cried as she swung a fist in front of her chest.

“YOU GUYS… HATE YOU GUYS!” Sunset cried as she continued to struggle against Pinkie.

Pinkie brought her head up out of the tangle of gum and hair to ask, “Does anyone have any whipped cream on them?”

“I’ll get some!” Rainbow Dash declared.

“Hey! That’s cheatin’!” Applejack cried.

“Oh wait!” Pinkie said as she giggled to herself and reached into her mop of pink curls. She pulled out a spray can with a white nozzle at the end. “I have some.”

“OH, that is it!” Sunset cried as she grabbed Pinkie’s sides and suddenly shifted her weight.

“EEK!” Pinkie cried she found herself on the ground.

Sunset quickly forced Pinkie onto her back and sat on top of her. Her knees straddling either side of Pinkie’s torso.

“YEEEE-HAAAA!” Applejack cried. “Go Sunset, go!”

“Come on, Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash cried.

Sunset smiled to herself as she held onto Pinkie’s left arm firmly in both her own arms and began to bend it at an unnatural looking angle.  “I got you! I—”

“SECOND WIND!” Pinkie cried as she suddenly squirmed out from under Sunset.

“HEY!” Sunset cried. “You slippery-AH!” Sunset cried as Pinkie somehow tackled her from behind.  “How the fu—STOP EATING MY HAIR!”

“NEFFER!” Pinkie cried through a mouthful of gum-covered hair.

“GIRLS!” A commanding, female voice called out. “What the heck is going on here?!”

Everyone stopped and looked up as Vice-Principal Luna approached.

Sunset uttered a relieved sigh as Pinkie stopped chewing on her hair. “Oh thank Go—” Sunset’s relieved sigh was soon followed by an exasperated one as Luna came closer. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Luna’s usual purple blouse had been replaced with a pink one. Similarly she wore a pink skirt instead of her dark-blue one.  

“Uh… just a friendly bet about eating hair,” Rainbow Dash said with a slightly nervous expression.

Luna scowled down at the two girls on the ground, their limbs seemingly tangled with one another as evidenced by the struggling with each other they had been doing just moments ago. Pinkie grinned, a large grin that might look like a look of guilt on anyone else, but was fairly typical of the smiles Pinkie gave out on a daily basis. Sunset, on the other hand, looked up at Luna with a somewhat pleading look.

“Oh, I see,” Luna said, her expression softening. “Well I suppose if an official bet and change of money is involved, then you may all proceed.”

Sunset protested, “OH, WHAT THE FU—”

“YAY!” Pinkie cried before she lowered her face back down into the tangled mass of red-and-yellow hair covered in bubble gum. “OM-NOM-NOM!”

“I HATE THIS SCHOOL SO MUCH!” Sunset said as she continued to struggle against Pinkie.