Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCV · 9:07pm Aug 11th, 2022
Before anything else, I would like to call out the fact that our fellow FIMFictoner Thought Prism has released a new book Breakers in both paperback and Ebook forms. Give it a go if you feel like supporting someone in our little community.
As some of you likely know from previous blogs, I’ve been achievement hunting on Steam for a while now. These past two days I 100%-ed two games. One was Banished, a citysim I had soaked more than 1,000 hours into even before I started achievement hunting. It’s also a game I’m betting most people have never heard of. Especially considering the developer more or less abandoned it before actually finishing the game, although it was complete enough to be largely bug-free. Banished is a little different from most citysims, mostly because you have access to everything at the start and there is no currency.
I bring this up specifically because of something curious about the game: its modding community. It’s robust. I mean, it’s not getting a dozen mods daily like, say, Skyrim, but it’s regular enough that you can expect to see something new fairly frequently. This little citysim with no plot or tutorial or conclusion or missions or really anything other than “jump in and try not to drown” has been receiving a steady stream of mods ever since its creation. Some of those mods are shockingly complex, such as one that advances the game from medieval times to the colonial period. It’s hard to imagine what drives these modders beyond a love for the game, because I doubt they have a huge audience at this point.
Which brings me around to the MLP fandom. If a dinky little citysim like Banished can keep going strong like that, I have faith that something as enduring as this place isn’t going anywhere. That’s really all I’m trying to say here.
Oh, the other game was Bioshock 2, in case anyone was wondering.
Alright, time for some reviews. Got a good selection here, folks.
Stories for This Week:
The Trial of Princess Celestia by Mani-Roar
The Archetypist by Cold in Gardez
Heteropaternal Superfecundation by Thornquill
Total Word Count: 170,480
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 2
Pretty Good: 0
Worth It: 1
Needs Work: 0
None: 0
The Trial of Princess Celestia
24,221 Words
By Mani-Roar
When Luster Dawn questions why a princess should be subject to the same laws as her subjects, Princess Twilight decides to tell the story of a rebellion that took place five hundred years into Celestia’s monarchy. A rebellion not fought with soldiers and military tactics, but with that most subversive, corrupt, and evil of weapons: lawfare.
The best moniker one can apply to this is “legal drama”. Which is somewhat ironic considering there’s very little about the trial showcased in the story that represents what a legal trial would be like. That’s because even though Celestia is charged with significant crimes, there is no attempt to find her guilty of committing them. Rather, and as the rebels holding the court acknowledge, this is a trial of public opinion, where facts of guilt don’t matter. Instead, the goal is to sway the representatives of the public that Celestia is unfit to rule. The whole thing is a joke, up to and including how the rebels refuse to allow one third of Equestria’s government to even be part of the proceedings.
But while it’s a joke in the legal technicalities of the events, the consequences are dangerously serious. This is a story in which Celestia is forced to recognize that she no longer represents or even fully comprehends the challenges faced by the everyday Equestrian. Even worse, she has to face the fact that she badly misjudged ongoing events, a misjudgment that led to an entire town being slaughtered.
So the trial is a farce, but the underlying issues it brings forth are very real. One might even say it was necessary to get Celestia to recognize the change in direction Equestria (arguably) needed.
It is an interesting story, to be certain. I’m uncertain on the author’s intent with the trial, which is my only problem. I mean, the prosecutors of the trial don’t even bother to show anything that might be called ‘evidence’ of Celestia being in the wrong. It’s all subjective commentary, and then from only two witnesses. Two. We’re talking about deposing a ruling monarch, and the most they can bring forward is two witnesses. There’s no opportunity for Celestia to defend herself beyond when she interrupts court proceedings. She has no defense team, and indeed may not have even been permitted one in the first place. This is textbook kangaroo court.
Regardless, this was an interesting story in which Celestia matches wits with a bunch of traitors in an illegal trial. It’s got some curious twists, a bit of character drama, and a valuable lesson for a certain princess’s student. Overall, I rather liked it. I can’t say with any confidence that it will be for everyone, but I thought the author did well enough with what they offered.
Although it does bug me that the villains of the piece – both the traitors and the griffons who slaughtered an entire village – got off with essentially zero consequences.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
The Archetypist
52,002 Words
By Cold in Gardez
Requested by NumberFifth
Discord has decided to do something ambitious: he’s going to start changing ponies’ dreams. When that doesn’t work – dreams aren’t his domain, after all – he switches gears to eliminating a controlling factor of dreams: archetypes. The impact this has on Equestria is profound. Strange. Unexpected. For Princess Twilight Sparkle, it is downright terrifying.
This easily qualifies as the strangest story by CiG I’ve yet to read. Told from Twilight’s perspective, it tells of how Discord’s tampering with the nature of dreams lead to those dreams coming true in wild ways. Rarity transforming into the world’s greatest seamstress, Fluttershy becoming self-confident, Trixie able to bedazzle the world without unicorn magic… Applejack no longer having to be a caring pony. Those who have read the story may note that I’m leaving out the physical aspects of these changes, but those are things best left unspoiled. Suffice to say, some of them are fantastical in nature.
To what I’m sure is absolutely nobody’s surprise, Rarity’s was my favorite. I’d throw in a thematically appropriate image, but alas, I just said I wasn’t going to spoil things.
While these changes are important, the main line of the story is Twilight and her overall response to it. She sees all these things happening and, to her, it is pure chaos. The laws of reality are falling apart, and she is terrified of what may come next. In her efforts to understand and convince others to help put an end to it, her flaws are placed under a glaring spotlight of her own devising. Subtle racism, pervasive loneliness, distinct selfishness, and an adamant refusal to recognize that her friends like these changes. In many ways, this serves as a character study of Twilight.
It all comes together at the end to deliver a message regarding what defines us as people. I don’t think it’s either positive or negative, although I can easily see people swinging either way in their interpretation. CiG doesn’t bother to guide us one way or another, instead leaving the reader to form their own conclusions about the nature of the ending. That said, I see the “canon if you want it to be” epilogue and suspect the author himself sees it as a positive.
This is a story heavy in implications and fascinating in delivery, with striking visuals and mood that give it all an otherworldly sensation. Regardless of what readers think of the story, I feel the writing comes from an author at the top of their game. It’s complex and subtle, yet knows when to be direct, and is dripping with character. My only complaint is the characters who are left unappreciated and unexplored, Spike in particular being a pretty big hole in the fabric of Twilight’s new reality.
CiG always finds ways to do things differently. This story exemplifies that grandly. It won’t be for everyone, but I encourage everyone to try it anyway. If nothing else, it’s a delightful demonstration of why CiG is one of the site’s top authors.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
All the Mortal Remains — WHYRTY?
For Whom We Are Hungry — WHYRTY?
Babel — Pretty Good
The Destruction of the Self — Pretty Good
The Instruments of Our Surrender — Pretty Good
Heteropaternal Superfecundation
94,257 Words
By Thornquill
Two years ago, three ponies had a completely random meeting in Las Pegasus. One, a wife afraid that her stable and happy life was about to come crashing down. Another, a stallion dreading an unclear and lackluster future. And the third, a stallion who just wanted to have some fun and to Tartarus with the consequences. But now Sugarcube Corner has burned down, and the Cakes are in need of some help. Against her better judgment, Cupcake decides to write to the Court Wizard of the Crystal Empire. Perhaps Sunburst would be willing to throw a little money their way. For the sake of his daughter, of course.
This story runs on one of the oldest fan theories of Gen 4: Carrot Cake is not the father. Instead, that honor goes to Sunburst and… wait for it… Hoops. Yes, Hoops, that bully of a jock who tormented both Fluttershy and Rainbow in their youth. This was an interesting choice to me, but not near as interesting as when it’s revealed that at the time this story is set he’s dating… wait for it again… Applejack.
Thornquill makes it work. Or not work, depending on what you chose to focus on.
Anyway, the whole point of this story is that Cupcake, knowing Sugarcube Corner may never be rebuilt without some kind of outside help, writes to Sunburst in hopes that he can use the undoubtedly huge income he makes as Court Wizard to help them out. To be clear, Sunburst knows that Pumpkin is his daughter, but Cupcake has demanded he keep the heck away from the Cakes so as to prevent Carrot from learning the truth. As for Hoops, he has no idea he has a kid at all, much less Pound, until Sunburst sends him a letter informing him of the fact.
Things get complicated from there, but it all comes down to this: Carrot finds out about his wife’s one-time act of drunken indiscretion, and the majority of the story is about all these characters picking up the pieces. Starlight Glimmer helps, by virtue of being Sunburst’s friend and thus getting involved for his sake. Oddly enough, Twilight Sparkle doesn’t get involved, despite the fact that the Cakes are living as guests in her castle, so you’d think she’d be aware of at least some of it. I don’t fault Thornquill for almost entirely leaving her out of it though; there’s enough characters to juggle as is.
I never stopped being interested in this one. It’s one of those rare stories that I wanted to keep reading despite my schedule. The drama and emotions are intense, from Carrot feeling betrayed, Sunburst’s longing to fix things, Hoops’s terror of realizing it’s not a prank and he does indeed have a son, and Cupcake expecting everypony to treat her like the villain of the piece. Judging by some of the vitriol in the comments section, I’d say Cupcake’s fears in particular are well-founded. Along the way we’re also given some background about the Cakes, though this leans heavily in favor of Carrot and his seafaring Manehattan roots.
Things get worse before they get better. Will the Cakes break up for good? Will Sunburst finally get to see Pumpkin? Will Hoops buck up and take responsibility for his actions? It’s a heavy dose. So heavy, in fact, that it might be considered melodramatic. After all, each character lingers for a long time on their individual situations, such as when Carrot spends so much time in Manehattan doing… well, nothing, really. Except agonizing over his emotions. That said, I think Thornquill does more than enough to keep things interesting, never quite letting the situation linger for too long without throwing something in there to enliven things. The “hurry up and give it to me” crowd may disagree though.
Also, I did not forget Pinkie Pie. You might be forgiven for doing so. I thought Thornquill had, especially with that early line about how she’d “disappeared” right after the fire and thus became a non-entity. I legit thought Thornquill had done it to toss her aside and not have to worry about including her. Then she makes that appearance near the end and I felt wholly justified for thinking over and over again “where the heck’s Pinkie?” Nicely done there, author.
Although getting her opinion on the ongoing crisis would have been interesting. I can just hear her: “Most ponies only get one dad, and the twins get three? Luckiest. Foals. Evar! …why are you all looking at me like that?”
But I digress. In the end, I really liked this one. It’s hard-hitting, moody, and well-written. Thornquill did a superb job having so many characters so heavily involved without making any of them feel unnecessary or forgotten. Even Applejack, who gets the least screentime of all of them (I think), has some great moments that kept her from feeling like a mere background pony. My only warning is that it can be easy to fall into the trap of “come on, guys, the solution is obvious” while discounting the emotions involved. I’ll also recall some of the commentary that made it clear some people are extremely unforgiving of mistakes the likes of which Cupcake made, so people of that sort will likely take offense to the story on the whole.
But other than that, I would recommend this for anyone seeking a heavy family drama. As far as I’m concerned, Thornquill knocked this one out of the park.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Carousel — WHYRTY?
Stories for Next Week:
The Cutters by Priceless911
Naborale by CTVulpin
That's My Choice by Soft Shake
The Lamia by Cold in Gardez
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The Archetypist was one of the earlier Cold in Gardez stories I read. Perhaps because of that, and me not being used to how experimental and unusual his stories can get (but always in a great way, mind), I mostly remember being really, really unnerved by it, and that I was sure things would revert to the way they were at the end. Looking back, that was as foolishly optimistic as anticipating getting something with a happy ending and not a bleak worldview in a GapJaxie story (though knowing he considers his stuff realistic and still optimistic, he would disagree, and he's not altogether wrong either). For that reason, I've yet to return to read this one, despite it being undeniably excellent and essential reading. But it's not an overly heavy of challenging read, so I'm sure I will someday. Even if I'm not in a huge hurry to do so.
Anyway, strong week, with two WHYRTY out of the three stories here. It probably speaks to by fandom entry, but I don't think I've read a story before where Carrot Cake wasn't the father, despite the obvious show hooks. I'll take your word for it that it's a semi-commonplace launching point. Me, I'm so used to muggle-born wizards and witches from Harry Potter, and many other examples of hereditary genes that take several generations to resurface, that I always bought the Cake Twins' tribal types. But it's a fair hook for a story, and this looks like quite the strong way to go about it. And given the story was written by Thornquill, a primarily Fanfic reader who wrote the excellent Carousel (which I'd read before your review of it, though it got me to reread it), it's definitely piqued my interest. I'll trust it justifies that length and lengthy, melodramatic brooding therein.
Oh, I liked your point about the MLP fandom sustaining itself. I think you're right, we'll be fine for a good long while. Plus, even if we keep gradually shrinking at our current rate, that still gives us many more years of being a sizeable community. We're fine!
Bioshock, ha, now there's a flashback. Never played the games, but I remember when they were new, and seeing a Big Daddy everywhere. It's never captured my attention enough to play it, but it's never been totally off my radar either.
I think I'll check out that first 'fic. I've always been a sucker for legal dramas, and also a sucker for Princess Celestia being able to show herself an actually competent ruler. Maybe I'll find something to defend it from the accusations in the review, or maybe not. We shall see.
Hey, I remember Banished. I used to use it to model villages and hamlets for D&D backdrops. Good times.
Thanks for selecting this one, Paul. It remains one of my favorites, though definitely one of the most controversial as well. It is the only time I have gone back to a completed story and added to it (the coda, in this case) to try and offer another interpretation for disappointed fans. I also learned the importance of properly marking stories, and why authors shouldn't break the implicit contract with their readers.
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I'm glad you liked it, Mike. It was by far my most experimental long-form story, though I have a fair number of other, shorter ones that are equally weird. I hope you get around to them someday :)
I once played Banished for a couple hours and made the mistake of building a school super early. Turns out while educated people make for efficient workers, they become less efficient when it comes to reproducing, and soon I discovered that my village was essentially dying out. I’ve never touched the game ever since.
I would most definitely call myself a CiG fanboy (he even made my profile pic
). I think my favourite overall piece of his would be The Color of the Stars, but Archetypist will always hold a very special place in my heart primarily because it was the piece that finally made me realize just how earnestly and seriously so many people take My Little Pony fanfiction. Instead of it just being a way to tell silly and self-indulgent stories, many authors use it as this beautiful playground, a backdrop with which to explore fascinating ideas and concepts in a genuine, cleverly crafted way, having shed every last shred of irony of it being My Little Pony fanfiction. I'm sure most people on this site had that realization long ago, but I'm always late to the party with these things. I'm grateful to CiG for properly indoctrinating me into the wonder.
One of the most fascinating aspects of the story to me was Twilight's own transformation, especially with it being a bit more subtle and creeping than the others'. I think it served to make the narrative that much more unnerving, especially with Twilight fearing the changes happening to all her friends and the world around her while being completely nonchalant towards, and perhaps not even realizing the changes occurring within herself. I think back to the opening to that chapter where the barn burned down. Such a jarring, haunting moment, yet Twilight describes it in her head in such a vivid yet utterly mechanical and emotionless way, even for her. I'm not sure I ever properly understood what her own changes were meant to represent - maybe because we're only seeing them from her own perspective - and that added such an element of intrigue and quiet terror.
Plus, as you say, the writing itself is beautiful. I've found that the way CiG puts words together allows my brain to flow through the paragraphs with such deliberate and well-placed imagery in a way that I've seen no other author do. That early scene with Twilight and Fluttershy on the roof of the cottage is one of my favourite scenes in ponyfic, purely because of how well I believe it realizes the environment of the pony world.
Bah, I'm rambling nonsensically again.
About fandom longevity - while many fans may flit in and out of fandom spaces within a few years, by this point so many of us have dedicated so much time and so many emotions to this show and this community that we're definitely in it for the long haul. I think as the metrics go, as we watch the number of vanished fans grow, so too does the number of fans leaving slow. We've got plenty of time still left in us. Plenty of new ideas to explore and friends to make.
Thanks for indulging in my review request. I'm really glad I was able to introduce you to a story you so enjoyed, and to give it more exposure to the site at large. With your permission, I'd like to send another batch of requests your way. They're shorter this time, promise.
See you next week.
5679158
It was an all-around great read, so I should be the one thanking you. At any rate, you should also thank NumberFifth for requesting because, to be honest, I'm not sure I would have read it any time soon had he not made the request.
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It was certainly one of the better stories I've read on the site, but I can understand not going back fora while. There are far too many stories around here for us to go back to what we've already done (he says while re-reading The Enchanted Library).
"Carrot is not the father" used to be a common launching point, but eventually the topic became old and people stopped examining it. Which makes sense, considering how early the related episode came out. Despite all that, this is actually the first story I've read that touches upon the subject. I wasn't even sure that was what the story was about; I mostly picked it because A) Carousel told me Thornquill knows how to make an interesting story, and B) With a name like that, how could I not be curious? I didn't even bother to find out what it means, I just dove in.
I have all the Bioshock games. In fact, I have the first two more than once, on account of the regular and remastered versions being sold as a unit on Steam (at least at the time I bought them). The most interesting element story-wise was the theming. Bioshock ran on the idea of unfettered capitalism leading to a collapsed society. In Bioshock 2, they reversed it and had unfettered socialism that doesn't do any better. Alas, I don't recommend playing them back-to-back; they're far too similar in gameplay, so it's better to step back for a while lest you get tired of doing the same stuff.
Bioshock Infinite is, in my opinion, the best of the bunch. The story is much more linear than the other two, but wow, what a story it is.
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I don't know if I'm 'accusing' it of anything. Really, the whole "this trial is a farce" thing isn't a mistake but a feature of the story. I realized that late and tried to go into my review and account for it, but I may have left in something that would appear accusatory by accident. If so that's my bad.
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Huh. I never would have thought to use it for something like that. Now that you bring it up, I can see how it might be useful for that kind of thing. If you get the mod that lets you access the debug mode, you could just build a town in it and utilize it as a map.
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Actually, it sounds like you fell victim to what I (perhaps erroneously) call "population creep". Schools don't have any effect on reproduction, they only add a few years to how long it takes for your children to enter the workforce, although the boost to work efficiency more than makes up for that.
Population creep is the result of the game's reproduction and housing mechanics, and it is the #1 danger to any city. It's impossible to avoid and can only be managed. I can't tell you how many towns I lost to starvation or whatever before I finally figured out how to deal with it. The problems stem from:
These mechanics make for a reproduction bottleneck. As your population ages and your houses are filled, eventually you'll run into a situation where more than half your houses are occupied by only one or two people: the original parents who are still kicking in their 80's and won't let anyone move in with them. With all the houses occupied, the children stop moving out and having kids of their own. When a pair of senior citizens finally do die and leave a home unoccupied, the couple that marries and moves in may be too old to have kids, exacerbating the problem. Soon all you've got is old people unable to reproduce and your citizens are dying off completely.
The only way to mitigate population creep is to constantly expand. Personally, I make it a point to build one new house every year so long as my resources allow it. This ensures there is always at least one house for some young couple to move into. Once your population hits around 200 people, however, the town is essentially secure from dying out so long as you manage your workforce during the population fluxes.
However, building the houses won't actually prevent population creep, so you'll still have to manage it in the meantime. Population fluxes occur every two or three decades and can lead to huge losses in your total population. The best indicator of a coming population collapse is the number of children in your town; if you see it start to fall to, say, less than 1/3 your total population, you know your citizens are aging and a crash is coming. At that point it's a good idea to stop building any more workplaces (try shifting to structures that don't require any labor that you may be running low on, such as storage barns, cemeteries, etc.).
Keep a close eye on your labor, because it's a guarantee the number of workers you have will fall below the number you need to meet current consumption demands. Manage the decline so that all your essential needs (food, tools, and fuel) are met until population starts picking up again. The good news is that with a population collapse comes less demand for those essentials, so if that was a problem now is the time to stock up and maybe build more storage for them. It usually takes around a decade for the elder citizens to die out and make room for the next generation, at which point you'll see the number of children skyrocket and population will start to go up again.
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Still, thanks a lot for the long tip.
Yeah, maybe I read it wrong somewhere but I thought educated people marry and have children far later than uneducated people. In hindsight that's probably just me not knowing how housing and reproduction in the game work and being hit by population creep real hard. From my limited experience the game feels simultaneously too complicated and too bare-bones for me, as weird as that sounds. Maybe I'll give it a third try some time, but definitely not in near future. Too little time, too much to do.
Edit: Just checked on Steam, played the game for 2.8 hours, not a single achievement. Either the achievements are all super hard or I just suck at the game lol.
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I don't think you can get any of the achievements in that short a time, but neither would I say they're hard. Mostly. There are achievements for population milestones (I think 900's the highest), for building so many wells in a single town, for acquiring all the trade items (read: crops), things like that. The hardest ones are the situational achievements, such as reaching a population of 400 without building any pastures or farmland. If I recall correctly, I think the hardest achievement (if the percentage of people who have it is anything to go by) is one where you have to play on the roughest terrain in the coldest climate at the highest difficulty on the smallest map and maintain a population of at least 50 for twenty years.
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“Hard” is probably the wrong word but I think most games I’ve played award players one or two achievements practically right after they start playing. If I’m not mistaken about 30% of the players have the easiest achievement in Banished, which is really not a lot. They certainly require you to put some effort into the game.
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I think I prefer it that way. Those "reward the player for buying the game" achievements ('cause let's be real, that's what they are) are just too cheap. They're called Achievements, not Participation Trophies.
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A lot of people respond on gut instinct to such things, which is perfectly fine. I tend to look at all the pieces as a whole and see how they feed into the goal, as well as the piece's execution. Both of these were so exemplary here that, even as I was very unnerved and uncomfortable by what was going on, and not exactly enjoying it in the traditional sense, I had to keep reading. It usually takes major uncomfortable material, or a view/tone heavily misguided, to sink material that well-executed.
As for other shorter experimental pieces of yours? Well, I don't know if that would apply to any of these, but I've actually read fully 20 of your stories. Some recently enough to have rated (before I did ratings and now reviews), others long ago enough that I need to reread them to reevaluate them. They are Natural Histories (still ongoing, so no rating, though given it's anthology nature, I should probably rate it), The Archetypist (need to re-evaluate), The Book of Might Have Beens (Excellent), Severe Weather Appreciation Week (need to re-evaluate), The Color of the Stars (need to re-evaluate), The Lamia (Really Good), Completely Safe in the Reference Section (Really Good), The Time of Their Lives (Really Good), Babel (Really Good), What We Wanted to Do (Really Good), All the Mortal Remains (Excellent), Small-town Charm (Really Good), Lost Cities (need to re-evaluate, but there's no way this won't hit Excellent), For the Love of Science (need to re-evaluate), Naked Singularity (need to re-evaluate, but there's no way it's not getting at least a Really Good), The Glass Blower (need to re-evaluate), The Contest (need to re-evaluate, but I'm certain it'll be at least a Really Good), The Proper Care and Feeding of Monsters (need to re-evaluate), The Cutie Mark Conspiracy (need to re-evaluate) and Maiden Flight (Decent). I also have The Adventuring Type on my RiL list for when it finishes (how far to completion is in in chapters and word count, by the way?).
Of course, I'm sure only Lost Cities and its sequel really count as experimental among those, heh. I probably need to broaden my horizons there.
Feel free to suggest some of your better experimental stories (and not too hard to read, ideally; like, I've read Ulysees, and nine years ago now, but I have my limits).
But, one early story excepted, nothing of yours I've read (that I remember enough to rate) dipped below the top two ratings in my seven-tier scale, and those top two are my tiers of hearty recommendation. That says a lot. Lets just say I'm in total agreement about your general reputation.
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Got a good ways into it, enough to get a sense of how it was structured. I think the trial is somewhat underdeveloped, even (especially!) for a show trial- the idea of one of those is, of course, to put on a show, either to rally your own supporters or to convince other people, so orchestrating overwhelming evidence against the defendant is hugely important. However, this seems to be intentional in-story. The rebels are trying to run a proper show trial here; Celestia just throws a wrench into their attempt at every turn.
That actually is my big criticism of the story- Celestia seems to recover support very quickly, and has, I think, too little difficulty disassembling the rebels' plans. If Celestia's position was this secure, it makes me wonder how the rebels got into power to do this in the first place. I have a few other gripes- for instance, sometimes Luster Dawn sounds like a young child and sometimes she sounds significantly older, and it strains credulity that these rebels got into power with no bloodshed especially when their position seems so precarious. But these are minor.
So, in the end, I'd agree with your 'worth it' rating, just maybe not for exactly the same reasons.
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I didn't think of any (or at least most) of that, but they're all valid issues. It was still an interesting read in general, just a slightly flawed one.
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Well, you're off to a good start, then :)
For weird stories of mine, I'd point to a few collections: The Shadow Alphabet, and other tales for Nightmare Night (particularly Marginalia and The Shadow Alphabet), and anything from The Starlight & Pals Magical Half Hour, which is just silliness incarnate. Half of it is GaPJaxie's fault, though.