Stupid alicorn origin stories: Bring Your Own · 12:05am Sep 3rd, 2015
Alicorns are cooked (and sometimes burnt) egg white.
In terms of advancing the overall 'verse, the just-published recent chapter for A Mark Of Appeal had what I wanted to be one of the big moments: Celestia and Luna openly admit to somepony that they were not born as alicorns, that they know of no ponies who were, and they allow ponies to think otherwise because when ponies know it's possible to become an alicorn, some will try -- and at least one of those attempts has taken lives.
(Sorry: had to do that for those who haven't read it yet.)
But it also had a group of local myths which claimed to explain how alicorns come into the world.
The most... reasonable simply said that when the stars were right, every seven to nine centuries or so, a normal pony could give birth to an alicorn. But then we got...
Transformed windigos, who absorbed the love of the first Hearth's Warming instead of being repelled by it.
Three ponies, one from each major race, all have sex. And climax at the same split-second. (I never said whether this triggers a pregnancy or causes them to somehow merge into one being. On purpose.)
The zebras think there's a seashell involved somewhere. A magic seashell.
The head of the First Dragon, if split open, births alicorns. Who knew?
And of course, just like we all already know, the Sun is an egg.
(As said: I told you that story...)
There were more places I probably could have gone with that, but I didn't want to stretch out the scene too much. Still, there are a lot of very, very dumb ways to explain how alicorns might come into the world.
So let's hear some.
Please give me your most ridiculous Alicorn Origin Ideas. The dumber, the better. We're looking for "That they're claiming they were born in a time before birth certificates and so can't prove their citizenship means they're griffon sleeper agents" levels of stupid. Let no rationality get away without heavy wounds, and survival is completely optional.
Commence idiocy.
They are the result of one of each tribe putting on a piece of a set of magical jewelry from the same set causing them to fuse into one super pony.
Well, I've written Dawn and Dusk, wherein everyone's favorite alicorns get their cutie marks... while they were still unicorns. So clearly, I agree.
I have stories vaguely in mind about their ascension, but I actually totally have stories in mind for them explaining why it is that they don't broadly advertise how to become alicorns. I did actually once write a story about Applejack giving up on becoming an alicorn because she felt she was wasting her whole life pursuing it and needed to actually live rather than figurtively throw her life away on trying and failing, but it has never been published to FIMFiction.
ponies make an alicorn-shaped cast. then males from all three tribes ejaculate into it at females from all three tribes lactate into it, giving it nourishing magic. then some magic spell on the cast/mold and bam! it comes to life.
Ridiculous Alicorn Origin Ideas? The dumber, the better?
“Marketing wants Twilight Twinkle or whoever she is to become one of those princess thingies. Make it happen.”
Bad fanfic writers are ground up into mush and poured into an alicorn shaped mold.
Every hundred years the three tribes hold a dance contest with the winner be coming in our corn
They are actually sapient plants that rose up to secretly control ponies. Oh how the tables have turned.
An "aiicorn" sounds like what an alicorn would sound like after hearing too many of these stories.
the story about a pony finding an ear of corn in an alley, a so called alley-corn, gets mis-interpreted
There’s a story by Baron Munchhausen where he loads up a musket with cherry stones, having run out of ammo, and shoots a young stag in the head with it; the stag survives and runs away. Later in the season, he finds the stag again, and it has grown a cherry tree from its forehead. He brings it down this time, and the cherries make a nice sauce for it.
So, how about a legend where if a pegasus flies as hard as she can against a kernel of corn, it may take root and grow a horn for her? (This is likely to be a story spread by some nasty folks who don’t care much for pegasi.)
Or how about:
One word. Narwhals.
Two words. No condoms.
No words.
The princesses are actually just actresses with prosthetics. Canterlot is the most cunningly designed theme park ever, built by an enterprising dragon centuries ago. Ponies incorporated the mythos of the park into their culture with incredible enthusiasm. Luna was introduced as a publicity stunt a few years ago; the focus groups loved the addition of Cadence and felt another shakeup to the stodgy old paradigm was just what the place needed. Twilight was added to the cast after she figured out the truth; she was promised a number of books from the owner's personal collection and some very attractive stock options. Spike is being trained to take the reins eventually.
Alicorns are in reality extra dimensional beings. Their original form is similar to equestrian primates, except hairless and able to walk on two limbs. However, since they are magic-less beings, which is something impossible according to the laws of magic, they are instantly transformed into an all-powerful hybrid between all the pony races.
Wake up sheeple, Celestia and Luna were just the first ones, soon we will be enslaved by the secret primates, THEY ARE ALREADY AMONG US.
Alicorns are the result of an unfortunate accident involving a particle accelerator and a box of ice cream cones.
3365486 They question is... are they sugar cones or waffle cones? Is that the cause of the rift between Celestia and Luna? Is their hair just magical ice cream, slowly melting?
Science has no answers, but one purple unicorn has a crackpot theory that may surprise you!
A threesome of the three tribes were enjoying a little "herd-building" time after eating some off-looking mushrooms growing over Discord's septic drainage field, when they were hit by lightning from a clear sky. Their bodies were vaporized, and their smoke drifted into the Everfree Forest where Zecora was mixing an air-freshening brew called Zebreeze. The steam from the brew reacted with the cloud of pony-vapor, solidified, and fell with a great splash into the cauldron... An Alicorn climbed out, and Zecora has been trying to repeat that brew ever since, to no avail, but a very nice-smelling home.
It has to be true, because that mare with a missing rusty horse-shoe told me about it, and she wouldn't lie about something important like that.
A pegasus tries to light her own farts. She becomes jet propelled and flies screaming into a unicorn’s rear. Her head becomes jammed entirely inside the unicorn’s ass as they continue to fly along in terror. In like manner, they encounter a properly aligned earth pony and the unicorn’s head gets jammed up his ass. The terrified equine centipede continues until it impacts a cliff wall.
From the resulting crater crawls a smoking alicorn, lacking all memories and wondering what just happened.
Here's one I spitballed in a story comment earlier. Since Twilight Velvet and Night Light birth children of ever increasing power levels, their next two are a pair of twin sisters who ascend and travel back in time to the founding of Equestria. I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this.
No related explanation for Cadance, because eww. (Plus, she was originally a pegasus.)
Celestia is made from flakes of Faust's skin. Luna is made from a bit of scab.
Now, be careful, this isn't for the faint of heart. Don't go spreading it around either, do you hear?
All species beget themselves, that is to say, if you want dragons, you need to start with dragons. If you want ponies, you need to start with ponies. Slight differences may occur over generations, but for the most part, things are fairly static. While there isn't much documentation on the origin of various races, we've got a fairly good idea, with one glaring exception.
Alicorns.
Similar to the pony races, yet uncommonly rare, to the point where, when found, they are put on a pedestal of godhood by their most similar species, the pony races. They seem to quality the most exemplary abilities of their kin; tremendous power, physical might, and staggering presence. These are all known and documented effects.
What's lesser known is how old they are. Careful study of the records, and in a pair of cases, geological strata, has shown that there is at least fifteen thousand years of evidence, however such evidence is difficult to find. The Discordic eras are undoubtedly put to blame for this, but the erasure is too complete, too systematic. Instead, we have to find indirect evidence to make any headway.
The effect of a new Alicorn to Pony culture is possible to see. Large shifts in culture and behaviour, population movements, and interspecies tensions all pointing towards the emergence of a singular, powerful individual.
There is another pattern to be found, in the statistics, if you will.
Death.
It's a bit harder to see, as it tends to happen a few decades beforehand. A generation or two, sometimes more, sometimes less. Usually long enough that any immediate effects from such calamities are settled and done. Never less than tens of thousands. Sometimes hundreds.
Why?
How?
These aren't questions I can answer, there are only a few who might. I'm not willing to ask them. Are you?
Alicorns aren't ponies at all. They're zombies. Or rather, they're the magical fungus animating the long dead bodies of ponies passed away who have, over the course of eons, eaten enough ponies from every tribe and incorporated the meat and bone that their bodies now resemble a giant blending of all three tribes. Celestia is tired of being white, so she's raising Twilight to get a little purple into her coat.
The griffins come up with the ultimate plan to dominate the pathetic puny ponies- a robot spy that can appeal to all the ponies' sentimentality while wearing a form that all three races can relate to.
The scientists that devised and created these ultra ponies were then put to death for creating them too well- for they now had free will! They led the ponies to a new Era of peace and prosperity, none of the equines ever the wiser of their leaders' origins.
All the while, over generations, the griffins plot again to correct their own folly...
The alicorn sisters are manifested tulpas created by the collective subconscious of the ponies that is linked through the dream realm.
Three ponies of each race do fusion ha. The technique has been lost.
Cyborgs
A bunch of tentacles in a pony suit
A secret organization of dwarves in a pony suit
A come to life spell gone horribly right
Discord losing a bet against Fausticorn
Twilight's children through time travel (wait...)
Blacklight virus with an ego.
I go w Soge. Alicorns are extra dimensional invaders, possibly from the human dimension
theory 2 Discord did it. One of his little jokes got out of hand. Celestia & Luna were originally parakeets
theory 3 The Tree of Harmony did it, to fight Discord. That is, they are the alpha test version of the Elements of Harmony. Or maybe, since Twilight ascended, the Elements came 1st & alicorns are the Beta test version (since they are more complex than the Elements)
A divine being from above known only as "Has-Bro" descends from the sky and hits ponies on the head with the golden wand of "Mark-Et-Ting," turning them into Alicorns for purposes unknown to all but itself.
Supposedly one can summon Has-Bro with the following poetic incantation.
Num Burrs Arr Downn
Whee Kneed Noo Tois Fur Mor Munneh
Giv Poni Wynngs
When Equestria was first created, the Sun and the Moon were both too large and were spinning too fast. And so a piece of the Sun fell off and fell to earth, and became Celestia; and a piece of the Moon fell off and fell to earth, and became Luna. And when they stopped the spinning of the Sun and the Moon, out of thanks the Sun and the Moon pledged to heed their call, and so were tamed.
And, umm, Cadence is... umm... look over there! (This story was older than Princess Cadence, but somehow didn't manage to fall out of favor after her appearance).
---
Each of the Alicorns are the result of a mad Earth Pony scientist, in true Frankenstein fashion, hunting down an innocent pegasus and an innocent unicorn and cutting off their horns and wings to glue onto her daughters. The same mad scientist for all three, obviously, beacause they're sisters. Cadence was actually the mad scientist's niece, not daughter, and the sisters call her niece rather than cousin to throw ponies off the trail. We know that it was an earth pony scientist because the sisters are as strong as an earth pony, so they're clearly not just a unicorn with stolen wings or a pegasus with stolen horn.
(This story was invented separately by unicorn nationalists and pegasus nationalists, each citing a perpetrator from the other tribe, and then morphed into an earth pony perpetrator when their factions merged. It is not very popular today on account of the sisters having killed a large fraction of the rebellion, but descendants of the rebels keep it alive).
---
During Discord's rule, he got bored with having to keep moving the sun around (because things got too hot or cold if he didn't, and varying the schedule is only fun for so long). So he created Celestia and demanded that she move the sun for him, which she did. But she was too clingy, so he made Luna to keep her busy. He created Cadence some time later after losing a bet.
---
Once upon a time, all ponies were Alicorns! But we sinned, and erred in our ways, and engaged in *some behavior the teller does not approve of*, and so we were cast down from grace. Those who were too prideful had their horns taken from them, and those who were too slothful had their wings taken from them, and the worst sinners were stripped of both. (Which sins led to which punishment varies by teller, and for most tellers it also varies each time it is told). Only the sisters (and Cadence) remained pure, so only they remained immortal.
---
And on the sixth day, Faust created the Alicorns, Celestia and Luna and Cadence. And Faust saw them, and said "This is good."
And on the seventh day, Faust rested.
And on the eighth day, Faust discovered that she had not documented her work well when creating the Alicorns, and she had been slightly drunk at the time and honestly couldn't remember how she'd done it. And try as she might, she could not recreate them; she created the Earth Ponies and the Pegasi and the Unicorns, but she could not create another Alicorn.
Alicorns are due to Discord. As long as there is chaos in the universe, there will be sources of stability. The more chaos there is (Cutie Mark Crusader Quantum Mechanics, yay!), the more alicorns there are. Since there is now a free Discord, the free CMC, and other sources of chaos, you get the Ascension of Twilight Sparkle.
3365466 You're missing the poetic opportunity though. It's not a pegasus with a cherry tree for a horn. Instead, it was an earth pony who was shot once in the forehead and escaped, and a cherry tree grew from her forehead which she shaped into a horn. And then later, he shot at her again and wounded her side, and branches grew from her side and blossomed into wings. And with her wings and her horn, she was able to escape the hunter ever more until he died from old age.
Once upon a time, a unicorn was lost and alone in the desert. Dying of thirst, she stumbled across a burgendy bovine. While they were miles from water, the bovine was able to urinate. Desperate, the unicorn drank...
Everyone knows that a Red Bull can give you wings.
Alicorn origin story? Well you see, a family of four walks into a talent agency with their pet dog...
Equestria is actually an MMORPG created by 4-d superbeings. Alicorns were a racial option in the open beta, but were eventually deemed too OP. So they received a huge nerf and were split into three different racial options. The developers left in the option for ponies to become alicorns as a prestige class, but the requirements to get said class are so obscure that it rarely ever happens.
Midichlorians.
3365707 I like the Discord one and the one about the mad earth pony scientist.
Now for my stupidity.
General stupid ideas that cover all alicorns:
Drunk Science!! What follows involves booze, an orgy, three tons of grapes, half a mile of broken jump rope, and a narwhal. Time travel was involved somewhere along the line. The princesses are the universe reacting to the presence of time traveling Drunk Science with a creature who's very presence neutralizes the potential catastrophe and the aftershocks.
An earth pony, a pegasus, and a unicorn walk into a night club. When the three are sufficiently drunk, the unicorn shouts
Even as the Great Green Arkleseizure sneezed out the universe that would eventually play host to a marvelous little book with the words Don't Panic printed on the cover in big, friendly letters, the GGA was popping a zit, which fell into another universe that he had sneezed out (he is one of those types that sneezes in succession). The zit, upon landing, splattered and gradually gained sapience. It assumed a form based on the locals, calling itself a Draconequis. Alicorns are white blood cells that got carried along for the ride, and are trying to develop an antibody for the disease ridden zit.
Crazy ideas specific to each alicorn:
Celestia: It was a night of long and sordid rituals by a cult of creatures that wanted to destroy the fledgling nation of Equestria. Unfortunately for the cultists, a raven happened to fly through their spell circle's airspace, which warped the magic and caused a massive nixplosion (like an explosion, but only involving psychic energy). The backlash inverted their malevolent desires and caused the rituals to reverse themselves, creating the exact opposite of what the cultists desired: a symbol of hope, unity, and harmony that had the power to protect her subjects. She is female because one of them was sexist.
Luna: There was an inquisitive earth pony who wanted to know if the moon was made of cheese. After years of research, he, late in his life, finally made a portal to the moon. He went to the moon. To his confusion, the moon was a giant cake. He tried the cake, and found it so delicious that he could not stop eating. As he ate, the moon cake turned him female, turned her young, and then turned her into an alicorn. She still returns to eat the self-regenerating moon-cake. Celestia's cake 'obsession' is a cover to hide her sister's cake addiction.
Cadence: I have no idea where this came from, but I call dibs* on writing a full story about this one!
A pirate, marooned on an island, contemplated suicide. She said to herself: What will become of my husband, for whom I sacrificed my innocence? The pirates had threatened to kill our entire crew, but I volunteered to join them to get them to spare my husband. Now that I am here, what will happen?
As she continued to ponder, she woke up a sleeping Ifrit. The Ifrit, hearing her sincere desire to save her husband, decided not to burn her to death for waking it up from a millennia-long nap, and instead helped her.
"I give you the power to fly away from here and rescue your husband. I give you the might to crush the bones of your enemies. In exchange, I ask that you use the magic to rip out the souls of the pirates and feed them to me."
The mare agreed and was transformed. With muscles of steel, she flew off the island, tracked down the pirates, and prepared to strike them down.
As she plotted her attack, she looked through the window of the captain's quarters, where she saw the captain, a female minotaur, having sex with her husband.
Enraged into a blind fury, she struck down all the pirates, the slaves operating the oars, and her husband. All their souls were sent to the Ifrit.
As her rage subsided, she was horrified by her actions in killing the slaves. She tried to take her own life, but the Ifrit would not allow it. She was reincarnated as a pegasus that would eventually become Princess Cadence.
Twilight: Discord, Tirek, and a disguised Spirit of Harmony had a threesome back in the days when Discord and Tirek were free and Tirek still liked his brother. The Spirit of Harmony spent the next few thousand years gestating her heir in her womb. She made her daughter manifest in mortal form as Twilight Sparkle. Twilight's ascension was what happens when a creature that is 1/2 demonic centaur, 1/2 draconequis, and 1/2 Tree of Harmony hits puberty (yes, Twilight is 3/2. She is an infant spirit. She don't care 'bout silly things like your 4D Space-Time math-logic).
*Dibs in this case means that others can use that as a plot bunny, but I ask them to say the idea came from me.
I don't know how alicorns are made, but they can be born! Problem is, they're always born backward, with the signs of evil on 'em! So ponies kill 'em off quick afore Windigoes and Changelings and other monsters come. And you know backward birthing is a terrible thing, killing foals and often mothers in the process. Immortality is because they've got the power of evil in 'em, feeding off the love of others. That love makes 'em look pretty and hides the marks on their bodies, too...
Alicorns are the growth of tears (or, according to some, drops of blood) from the Heavens Mare, fallen to Equestria and forming alike to the stones they touch—marble for Celestia, obsidian for Luna, pink diamond for Cadance, amethyst for Twilight. There may be others, but they haven't been found and/or revealed themselves yet.
Alicorination occurs when shards of the same (Heavens-Mare excrement meets rock) are introduced to a pony; stories vary from ingestion to semi-surgical implantation to other.
Eat all of your alfalfa, young one. ALL OF IT.
== alternatively ==
How To Become An Alicorn four-panel comic
One must travel far and wide and make the proper wish(es) to all thirteen of the Foundation Amulets, scattered far and wide across the land. (Locations, suggested travel lodging, maps, and wish Sparknotes® booklet yours for the now low-low price of only 3500 bits!)
It was Kratos The Gluemaker, a powerful demon trapped on the mortal plane, and desperate to be free from it, who made the original alicorn. Mostly by slaughtering thousands of innocent ponies, grinding together their bodies and souls into what is essentially a viscous Philosopher's Stone, and using the unholy glue to birth the ultimate lifeform, in a mad attempt to kill himself, because only an equine pure of heart could destroy him completely. This succeeded in making one of the most powerful beings on the planet, The First Alicorn, but almost failed because the First didn't want to kill her father. The Gluemaker, and The Alicorn had no idea what to do until Her Shadow, a spirit born from her base components' lingering grudges and prayers for justice, convinced her that his death would be just and merciful. After creating a physical form for Her Shadow using the remaining goop, the two killed Kratos, to the demon's eternal gratitude. Then, with no purposes besides the ones they could give themselves, the homunculus and the wraith named each other Celestia, and Luna, set off into the world to find out who they should be. And the rest, as they say, is history.
I have no clue where this idea came from, or why it so dark, but I kind of like it.
But suppose.. that the Moon was an egg?
(Warning - I make no guarantee of your continued sanity if you choose to watch the video at that link.)
All alicorns are discord's children, resulting from when he gets a mare pregnant (a la Zeus et al). Which makes all the times he's ruined things for Celestia and Luna just him messing with his children.
Pleasantville's explanation for how humans become "colored" was a rather good method for becoming an alicorn. Although, I'm sure someone else might see it as similar to getting a cutie mark. But, in my opinion, it falls closer to my initial 'Exit through the gift shop' or Banksy impression of what happened with Twilight Sparkle's ascension. Wherein, all she does is solve a problem she created and finish someone else's work. I could do that in my flipping sleep, and I could probably do that as early as the third grade. Completely dismissing the years of diligent study, networking, and whatever other efforts and challenges the character had to go through before they learned how to turn lead into gold.
I sort of equate the concept of becoming an alicorn to the old standby of apotheosis. As in, the goal of every human(or hero) is to become one with, a part of, meet directly with, or ultimately realize that they are themselves God: the ultimate creator. The trick is, almost everyone already knows they're a child of god, or demigods, the only problem we have (or thing we're lacking) is either empowerment or self actualization to reach our full potential.
People have more than dependance, social, and survival needs. And, sadly, religion expects you to believe that you will accomplish apotheosis after you die, only if you die in the proper way, or with the right way of thinking. Not to mention, we have in this world, people insisting on cutting down the tall poppy's, hammering down the tall nails, or believe they're angels separating the tares from the wheat under the delusion that their sin somehow went into remission because they're the followers of the "True" religion (or that everyone and anyone else who has no pact with their God foregoes the right to know their God and shouldn't be allowed to live or benefit from them or their conceited efforts).
In the anime's A Certain Scientific Railgun, or A Certain Magical Index, the characters are seeking to advance their power level beyond the current limits of human potential through science and meritocracy. Meritocracy meaning hard work and achievement, not award and entitlement, which I only explain because there actually are people who don't know the difference.
In the World God Only Knows' the protagonist is mistaken for a God because of his email address, and is assigned a demonic familiar to help him exorcize demons that escaped from hell. All of which have possessed innocent girls who are otherwise pure of spirit. His reward is that he has negative presence in their lives, and they have no memory of him once they have been exorcized. It is then learned that the reason that they were pure of spirit is because most of the girls were the avatar's of goddesses who were taking the Suzumiya Haruhi/ Yuki Nagato vacation of normalcy, wherein they have no responsibilities save being normal girls, except their services are needed to maintain the balance of the universe. Unfortunately, time is of the essence, and the protagonist actually (or regrettably) wastes his time pursuing his true love interest before being somewhat honest with her and admitting that their relationship was a pretense to get what he wants and that he would be incapable of altering her presence or future. The character definitely grows, which is important, but I don't believe he ever overcame his narcissism.
Being bitten by a radioactive alicorn (and they're all radioactive, 'cus the Sun's a big fusion reactor, and the Moon is bathed in cosmic radiation, and Love makes you radiant, which means the same thing, right?) turns you into an alicorn. Presumably, the first alicorn was bitten by a future alicorn who traveled back in time to start the chain of superpowered mutation. (Very likely Celestia herself. This explains Starswirl the Bearded's time sorceries!)
***
1
There are no alicorns.
The creatures we know as alicorns are very powerful unicorns under a disguise and have been steadily moving forward with their agenda of unicorn supremacy.
It started with Hearth's Warming, and the uniting of the pony tribes under one tribe's leadership; the unicorn-alicorns.
Guided by these disguised unicorns it's been a slow passage toward the reduction of pegasus and earth pony rights and perceptions ever since with additional unicorns taking up roles as "returned" or "newly discovered" alicorns as the numbers of ponies increases.
The facts are obvious when looked at rationally:
○ Both Luna and Celestia have never been seen performing traditional pegasus magic such as moving clouds or making them rain, they've only created illusions.
○ After Hearth's Warming there are no records concerning the activities of King Bullion, because they had taken up the position of "Princess" Celestia.
○ Canterlot has a predominantly unicorn population, clearly to provide as many possible candidates for replacement in case one of the unicorn-alicorn-pretenders dies suddenly. Which they do.
Did I mention that this is a heredity conspiracy with family members taking over from their predecessor when they become too old to carry out the charade?
This can be seen in the one incident where "Princess" Celestia stated that they didn't like tea; this was due to a unicorn who had been recently advanced to the role of Celestia before having been properly trained.
The very paucity of records surrounding this occurrence highlights clearly the truth that they'd attempted to disguise. Like they disguise themselves.
* * *
2
It's all a story, written by aliens.
And... and the princesses they're... like, y'know, the editors and... stuff.
They... they make sure the... uh... the whole story keeps on the path. To wherever the story's meant to be going, y'know?
And that's why they're so, uh, powerful. So that they can keep the story moving.
They know all the secrets and... and hold all the... uh... the keys... about the story.
The story keys; I dunno.
* * *
3
Okay...
You want the truth?
You have to promise not to tell anyone else. Not just anypony, but anyone.
Seriously now; you gotta Pinkie promise, okay?
*sidles closer*
Intelligent, super-magical molluscs.
No, really. They latch onto a pegasus and attach themselves to the front of their head and they bore through into the brain with a toothed-tongue-thing and from that moment on, the mollusc's in control.
The size thing? That's the mollusc doing that. I said they were magical didn't I?
They like the view from up high, that's why it's always pegasi that they take.
During Celestia and Luna’s battle against Discord, their Alicorn magic, combined with Discord's Chaos magic and the residue from the Elements of Harmony somehow merged together and created an Alicorn foal
Tada~
-
Alternatively, Celestia and Luna are natural-born Alicorns, which explains their lifespan, but Ascended Alicorns like Cadence and Twilight age normally
In a few years, the cutie mark crusaders will try to get their Cutie Marks in something they call "Extreme Awesomeness" (thanks primarily to Scootaloo), and enlist the help of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. Needless to say, a few dozen things go wrong, stuff explodes, tree sap gets involved, yadda yadda yadda, and reality breaks. When the dust clears, Twilight needs a new lab, Pinkie and Dash are banned from Crusading, three fillies who still don't have cutie marks get no dessert that night, the color beige disappears for 30 seconds and comes back looking more boring than ever and tasting like sawdust, and Alicorns are created several thousand years priors.
The alicorns were never created. Just before the end of the universe, each of them will use a time travel spell to go back in time to the point in time where they were first seen, and do it again. ((When Twilight saw this one she went frothing at the mouth briefly by how *wrong* it is about how time travel works))
3365962 I like this one. Very mythological.
3365962 If Kratos the Gluemaker made Celestia and Luna, were Twilight and Cadence the result of them getting lonely and making more Philosopher's Stones? Or were they a different alchemical process?
The folded space created a funnel to another universe, where it reacted with the local magic to create 412 ale. The 412 became sapient. The 412 is naturally knurd, so it tries to get drunk on love magic. It made the alicorn form to start a social enginering experiment on the ponies as they produced more love. Twilight was the only sane mare because she was a new batch of 307-turned-412 that had yet to figure out how to get away from being knurd.
Alicorns came from a spell misfired by Twilight Sparkle, the most competent magic user in Equestria, that traveled back through time and struck two ponies.
See now, kids, when a mommy unicorn and a daddy earth pony love each other very much, and their pegasus friend crashes into them at high speeds at noon on the fall equinox...
(My personal thought is that each kind of pony has a gene associated with it. If the gene goes one way, you get the traits for that kind; let's use capital letters to denote that. So:
Eup = Pure earth pony. Can't channel unicorn magic, and can't use pegasus magic (cloudwalking, etc.), but enjoys the abilities of an earth pony. (eUp and euP can be extrapolated from this.)
EUp = Earth pony-unicorn hybrid. Gets the benefits of earth-pony-hood, probably without realizing it or even knowing she's anything but a unicorn. EuP can be extrapolated from this.
eUP = Pegacorn, or "false alicorn". Enjoys the benefits of both pegasus and unicorn traits. Possibility of ponies treating them like they're alicorns, for good or for ill. May even be treated poorly by some, as if it's their fault their genetics are so weird. (Work out your own reasons why they aren't an eighth of the population by now. Probably partly because of that long period of mistrust in there.)
EUP = True alicorn. The trick here is that this combination "locks away" two of the traits until the pony proves worthy of it. And, given that most ponies don't even know about this, they probably just think they're whatever manifested at birth, like the other hybrids with earth ponies. Twilight probably has the EUP combination, but with the E and P initially suppressed until late in "Magical Mystery Cure".
If anybody wishes to use this in their own worldbuilding, go ahead.)
Alicorns are grown in the great alicornfields of the cosmos. One day, Faust made some alicorn pone, and that's where alicorn ponies were born from.
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That's actually the canon explanation in Journal of the Two Sisters. Additionally, Celestia and Luna are NOT immortal, but natural alicorns do have extremely long lifespans.