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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Man, whoever the greatest deity in this world is, they just love to fuck with this guy.
I wonder when the dude is going to clue into the fact that she likes him?
I love it !!!
So it took two hours to get 30 miles! What a slow gryphon!!!
Questions apparently only yield more
I love the story but you seem to have really gone out of your way to jar anyone with even a boy scout level of survival skills out of your story with the amount of things they did wrong.
No covering up for both Jay and Daring, no water for hours for either, moving at all while the sun is fully up is rediculous let alone at its highest point.
At least say Daring heavily rationed the water and they both have some face and body coverings.
Oh sweet pony gods above! I need more!
good job keep it up
So on a whim, I decide to read this story again because I really like it. Not ten minutes after I finish the last chapter does the next chapter get posted....
Creepy but awesome! Come on Daring!!! grow a pair of wings and tell him already!!!!
I think.... I think I hate Daring Do....
Like this version of her pisses me off. And it's pretty much for all the same reasons the main character hates her. If she pulls a, "If I told you we would never find it" or something similar....
God I hate her.
Love this story so far though, I honestly do.
Huh, I guess you aren't dead after all.
Loving this story so much! Keep up the great work!
Wow, I'm glad that Jay exploded at her but I didn't think he'll attack her like this. You really did a good job playing up Jay's anger at Daring's insistence on keeping this secret. Ah, if only he thought of using the "I'm not moving until you tell me everything" plan or walk back the way the griffon's going to get Daring to tell him what's going on. Sadly it seems like Daring now knows that Jay is connected to the artifacts and is really worried that he might leave her soon when she's finished. Though will he still try to convince Daring to tell him what's going on after she gets the eagle artifact or will he do it after they get back and avoiding her enemies again?
Boy the tension between them is really stressed now! Daring for some reason unable to reveal her feelings... Though I feel it's not really her having trouble expressing them. I think it's more about her being rejected (perhaps a different species deal). She has some pretty clear anxiety issues. The mood swings is a clear indication of it.
Also this dude is pretty dense to not be picking up some pretty strong signals she is giving. Cuddling with him, sleeping with him (not having sex with him... yet), and just feeling generally comfortable around him. Heck she has pretty much given every signal she likes him up until actually admitting it or outright kissing him.
I am also surprised to see how old you are depicting her I this. Though in all honesty it is something I would see. An adventurer like her would be a little older given all the experience she has. Even Lara Croft in her original concept was older. Makes me feel better too seeing another equestrian around my age group as well.
Jay really does seem to be as thick as two bricks when it comes to Daring's signals, doesn't he? But then again, there's so much crap going on in his (week-old!) life that I suppose you can't really blame him for not picking up. Anyways, things keep betting better and better with this story - especially with things finally coming to a head between Daring and Jay. Can't wait to see how everything links together, I get the feeling we're in for a real treat!
There's just one very minor niggle, when characters say a number (e.g 'You're seriously 32 years old?') I'm fairly certain the number should be in word form ('You're seriously thirty-two years old?'). It just looks odd with the numbers as, well, numbers.
Wow, that outburst at the end! Some much needed character development, and very satisfying. Can't wait for the next installment!
That outburst was a long time coming.
If the statues are so dangerous, why not destroy them? And why didn't Jay ask that? Seems like a pretty legit question.
"The tomb of Vitun Mies"!? God i love tobe a finnish person here . In case you didn´t know "Vitun mies" means "a fucking man" like a curse or a swear. I wonder how eagle is going to named . And please excuse my bad english writing skills
I really don't blame Jay for anything here.
Of course he wouldn't take her hints being so stressed- you lose your grip on observation when that happens. As for his rage, that was a long-time coming. I'm surprised he hasn't fallen into an apathetic depressed lethargy after feeling like he's being used as a tool by her.
5856222 Your English is just fine good sir.(Thanks for the info mate)
5856850 Thanks, and no problem
When Daring just jumped after Jay into a random hole in a freakishly huge desert and immediately went like "The tomb of Vitun Mies", my first and only reaction was as follows.
A common theme in literature and movie, really. Heroes find some nondescript ruins in the middle of nowhere and know exactly what it is. HOW.
5855929 numbers are supposed to be written out below ten while actual numbers are to be used for values over 10.
5856987 it's when you have a number over a hundred that you use the numbers everything below that you wright out.
Wow, even after all that she still didn't answer his questions!
Equestria hates this guy, yet he keeps flipping it the bird by surviving. I'm honestly not surprised he's pissed off. Hell, I'd be more surprised it he wasn't.
5856939
"It's magic" seems to be as likely as anything else.
5857738 The average human walking speed isn't fifteen miles an hour or anywhere close. That's impossible.
That chaper was excellent you done well and I can't wait for the next chapter
LOL. Loved this chapter. I can't wait for more!
nice
I honestly need MORE
Hot damn! :D
They found it! Whoo!
And damn, looks like Jay is losing it.
And Daring, what are you hiding? What is going on in that cute little head of yours?
Awesome job so far man! keep it up!
I can't wait for more!
5857738 ... The average walking speed is around 3mph. The fastest runner in the world record was only something like 22mph, and that was a short burst of speed, not a sustainable speed. Come on, brah. Math a bit. X3
5864622 no. I think usain bolt broke that by running 30 mph but what ever. Like it matters
I really love this fic keep up the good work :)
Hey this is a good story, but I wonder if you are going to finish it. It has a good idea and a great concept I would be thrilled to see the rest of the story.
Well...say what you will but she kinda fuckin' called it in the end
"is"
Either Jay is hearing shit or Daring is gonna backstab the f*ck out of him.
Fuck yeah! New chapter!
It's a good story but these random ass names sort of brakes the immersion.
more please
plz update
5992742 On Friday will you be reading the 16th page because its intriguing reading your comments about each chapter
i really like this story looking forward to more
stayclassy
Finally! I was waiting for jay to do something to her. She has been rather annoying and it was bothering me that he wouldn't retaliate. also are they ever gonna actually love each other or keep their feelings to themselves?
I gues we will se the next two chapters in february and april 2016
Some grammar mistakes:
You're
Excited for the next chapter
Oh I think you know what she's trying to "Do"