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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Yay, updated again! Really liking this story so far, dude.
Oh... oh my. Creditation. *squee*
"Vakaa" = "Stable"
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Poor Daring Do...
2616875 HA I GUESSED IT TOO HAHAHA!
Wait.....how many beds are there?
Wow.... MOAR!
Okay, one word to the wise then. "Don't mention family to Daring Do again." Although I'm pretty sure I would say that maybe her parents are in a dangerous situation, one where they might not come back from, ever....
Another thing I was expecting Daring Do to at least carry him for a little bit when she was flapping her wings while he was holding onto her since I think she's strong enough to carry the guy on her back or drag him or something.
Edit: I forgot to add something, when Daring gave the main character the key, I imagine that he grabbed it like Booker DeWitt did in Bioshock Infinite (like when he grabbed a coin at 7:58 of this video or any other times he grabbed items from her in this game)
Rock-a-bye Pony….
2616927
0_0.... Oh god
Ravenwood..? Wut?
That ending........Damn.
Nice, emotional chapter. I'll be looking forward to more.
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Such an emotional chapter. Marvelous work.
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I have waited patiently for a new chapter, this one here, a work of pure feels. (And art)
That was totally awesome!
...
Meep!
Ravenwood.... Was it a writing desk?
Well this was a piece of art for sure. I hope to see what happens next. By the way nice work with the ending you can actually feel her pain . . . and also the walls pain lol.
When is a raven a writing desk? when that desk is made of Ravenwood.
huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue.
Wow. Awesome chapter!
Poor Daring
Them feels. Good on ya, mate! I can't wait to see more
ravenwood? isn't that the name of the town full of crab head zombies you have to go threw in half life 2? however theres also a game called ravenwood fair.... meh i'm aiming for the half life 2.
awesome chapter. i think i know what happened in the next one however.
2616927
1
*Gasp!* He has found an editor! Run for your li- Wait... Editor + Awesome story = Awesomer Story
A great and emotional chapter!
While I must admit that the emotional scene was well written and unexpected, giving the character depth...I couldn't buy it. For someone as accomplished her, you think she would have carried herself with a bit more pride, "I sure showed them" kinda mentality.
Maybe it's just my mindset of thinking, as I was also an orphan, but it certainly undermined the whole scene. I mean I understand her getting upset at not having a family, that's very disturbing not to have one. The character has established a need that hasn't been satisfied, I can buy that. But when she lists of her accomplishments and then throws all that pride away and calling herself worthless? It just didn't make sense.
Anyway fantastic chapter overall and I look forward to the next one. Also very excited about This magic moment.!
Ciao!
the scene when daring enters the hotel room...
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the scene with Daring fixing 'my' back...
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Daring's emotional outburst from start to finish...
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fuck it...this whole chapter...
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you haz editor?
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dIS IS THE BEST DARIN DOO STORYZ EVDA! :D :D :D
D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...
Wonderful. Wonderful stuff.
pure awesome
My
emotional stateinner expression by the end of the chapter:dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/q709wgw77jts5kd/smilely01.svg
2618232
Maybe she's a "Well Done, Daughter" Mare?
I like this story but I have some issues with certain points. The back injury seems to only be a convient plot device when you want it to. It does not affect anything unless the wound is being directly referenced. Walking through the woods, town, and later sitting down for dinner would all have been difficult with a injured back. Least as injured as described in the previous chapters. Since the back muscles literally support the entire upper body, wounds to the muscles and skin aren't just a case of "walk it off".
Second; Daring attacked a smidge out of character when she flies off the hook about being an orphan. It does not match well with her earlier composed personality.
An editor...*throws five reviewers that hate the story at him*
2619585 Seconded.
2620850Woah, calm down. I can fix!
This is the only Daring Do fic that I've liked this much, I really hope the romance will start to show in the next chapter.
Challenge accepted. Pinpoint author location, and launch the orbs of stupidity!
A truley touching as well as heart felt chapter.
Ah, yes. This is glorious.
This is gonna be fantastic. I re-read this chapter 4 times to keep it fresh in my mind.
I've really enjoyed this so far, I really do hope you continue.
I love how you include the mundane things of conversation, such as Anon sneezing, or when Daring tells him he's lucky it was a clean hook. Normally I wouldn't like that, but it's refreshing in this case. Also, I thought the intro to this story was hilarious. I knew it was gonna be great from the start, although I came for the clop. At this point, though, you could keep it as a romance or even adventure title and have my full attention.
My only suggestion is that you paint more mental pictures. For example, when he looked into the sky, you could've said something like,
"The moon sat like a lightbulb in the murky darkness, resembling chocolate pudding." Or, when he was looking at Daring when she was gonna leave, (when she paused and kept smiling for a moment) you could've elaborated on that moment a little more. Like,
"As time passed, we both started to realize that we'd been looking at each other for an uncomfortably lengthy moment. This caused Daring to look down in mild embarrassment, shutting the door with a sense of urgency." (Okay, that kinda sucked, but you get the idea.)
Otherwise, I love everything about this. Daring Do wasn't a character I had any interest in prior to my reading of these few excellent chapters, yet you've wet my appetite for more.
9/10, Came for the clop, staying for the story.
:D -Equalsnothing
2623109 This is the is one of the only Daring Doo fanfic you like? Please read "A Western Tail" by Trigger_Finger. Its a well written story and, in my opinion, one of the greatest fanfics of all time. And hey, if you do consider reading it you'll have something to pass the time while this story is updated!
2627134 Thanks man, I'll check it out.
Beautiful. Feels, man. I love how you are crafting Daring. I love how she acts like Rainbow Dash a little bit upon entering the hotel. I love how she's a professor and explorer who dictates her adventures and basically leads a double life. I love how she is emotionally sensitive concerning her family and orphaning.
So good, man. So good. Wonder how that one bed will work out...huehuehue.
2627190 Anytime
epic
I love this so far! It's like Indiana Jones mixed with Romancing the Stone mixed with pure awesome!
Not sure if my other comment went thru 'cause I was in incognito mode so here:
Ah, yes. This is glorious.
This is gonna be fantastic. I re-read this chapter 4 times to keep it fresh in my mind.
I've really enjoyed this so far, I really do hope you continue.
I love how you include the mundane things of conversation, such as Anon sneezing, or when Daring tells him he's lucky it was a clean hook. Normally I wouldn't like that, but it's refreshing in this case. Also, I thought the intro to this story was hilarious. I knew it was gonna be great from the start, although I came for the clop. At this point, though, you could keep it as a romance or even adventure title and have my full attention.
I love everything about this. Daring Do wasn't a character I had any interest in prior to my reading of these few excellent chapters, yet you've wet my appetite for more.
Shortening:
I'm continuing to read this story because it's well written. It's interesting, and I like your representation of Daring and Anon. I haven't seen any romance yet, but I'm eagerly looking forward to it. I love the way you word things, and your references to memes. ("Cinnamon Toast Crunch") ("Can't handle my swag" quote in This Magic Moment)
9/10, Came for the clop, staying for the story(s).
:D -Equalsnothing
That was a brilliant way to include Daring into the actual "real" world by having her co-writing her adventurebooks. Smartypants all the way up
You lying fuck there's no sex in this....either way this is a pretty good story