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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Wow. Just wow... I love it, man
kinda surprised he didn't catch Daring's little slip there.
And right after that:
You know what would be awesome? A second fic detailing the events if this story through Daring's perspective.
minor case of missing letters, yet still retains the same level of absolute awesome
Glad you're back. Looking forward to finally reading some more of your work.
I Can't Help has been updated?
Edit: Fuck those gifs and videos to represent my happiness
I'm going to read the shit out of this new chapter
There is no end to the Love I have for this story! And as for the chapter itself, I rather enjoyed it. Can't wait to see how the relationship develops on the Zeppelin. This is probably one of the best Daring Do fics I've read! Keep up the good work!
....Awkvard...Oh well, looking foward to the next chapter!
I've missed this story.
Daring doesn't remember a thing, huh?
Riiiiight. Odd that she remembered the two ponies making noise last night....
Wait til Jay figures it out, it's gonna be fun..... And awkward as all hell.
Still loved it
oh hell yeah a zeppelin
I just hope they don't end up on one infamous zepplin that burned and is known around the world for being cursed... *cough*Hindenburg*cough*
zeppelin fuck ya!!!
Hmmm, so I guess Dusk Shine and (I'm assuming) Twilight must have broke in to the hotel? Strange
Also please, PLEASE, for the love of God don't do the classic Disney Trope where the couple is falling in love/ in love and then something drives them apart (in this story it would be him wanting to get home and Jay inadvertently hurting Daring's feelings, or something else), but then they realize they are meant for each other, blah, blah, blah, THE END. It is so predictable, so bland, and just such an uninspired concept that it never deviates from this formula. Avoid this by any means necessary
*Edit, Just a request, could you please update TMM before you update this next? Still hanging from that cliff
3357824 or end up getting attacked by certain Monoplane fighters and then
end up on a motorcycle and sidecar. *cough Indiana Jones last crusade cough*
Hydrogen and inflammable paint! WOOHOO!
3357940
at 15:45
You accidentally used on instead of an once.
I've said this before and I'll say it again this is my favorite story on FIM.
Da da daaaa da dad aaaa
Nice chapter and wtf me
Daring remembered the "noises" from the next room and I didn't catch on
*facepalm* I'm so stupid sometimes
I can't wait for more of this and TMM!!! I hope the next chapter of TMM comes out soon damn cliffhangers!
3358062 #CalledIt #PonyNazis #UnicornMasterRace
I actually gave out a small shout of joy seeing this updated.
Feedback: Like where this going. Flow was good. Liked the awkwardness of the scene and the small hints being dropped around.
Looking forward to more man. This is seriously my favorite fic on the website.
Worth the wait.
Need passionate pegasus pony private time! Glad you're back and continuing this story. I am anxiously awaiting the next chapter. They need to get together and hit it already!
WINGBONER!
3357165 YES!!! That would be epic!
definitely worth waiting :)
Yes!!! New Chapter! Oh sweet Celestia, Yes!!!
Bravo!
I'm so glad you're updating this story.
At first, I thought you messed up in this chapter when Daring remembered the banging.
But then I re-read the passage where she said she didn't remember anything, and it became clear she was lying. (In a good way)
Just, fantastic. I love all the little details in this story, ones which you have to read several times to notice. This is undoubtedly one of the finest fics I've read in all fandoms.
3357923
If I remember correctly, Dusk Shine is the rule 63 male version of Twilight. I'm assuming this means all the other ponies exist, as Dusk Shine's fanfiction includes them. (Pinkie, Rarity, Rainbow and such)
3360584 Yeah but it could be literally anyone with him, the fact daring doo exists proves that this isn't a complete R63 world
HINDENBURG!
Yes! An update! And a great one at that. I really liked the style of this chapter, too. The way you broke up the narration into a sequence of short, disjointed thoughts. It really helped capture the awkward mood that "I" am still struggling to deal with after last night. Very, very well done! A most enjoyable read, can't wait for this to continue!
And for not having an editor, this was fantastic. I don't think I noticed any errors!
HURRY UP AND BANG ALREADEH
3357824 I'm expecting it to be more like the Indiana Jones zeppelin scene.
"NO TICKET!!"
3358061 Yep, that's the one!
3360606
It could also be a crazy world were there is also a Twilight sparkle for all we know. he, for all we know that dusk shine may not even be the r63 Twilight dusk shine.
3360606
Exactly.
So, if it is Dusk Shine, would it be possible that he's with Twilight? It seems unlikely.
Ok. First off, if you are still needing a editor, just send me a message! I'd Love to help!
Second of all, Great story! And I love your enthusiasm! Keep it up man, and I can't wait to read more!
Great chapter! I love your work, man. Can't wait for the next chapter....IN 20 YEARS!
It seems that you've got lots of people already offering, but I'd be an editor/proofreader for you as well if you needed me to.
if i remember correctly in Indiana Jones the zeppelin was very bad news
3357144
you mean YOU didn't catch her little slip there.
"Hold up a second. Where did that thought come from?"
I really hate when authors use phrases like this in reference to romantic thoughts. First, its not subtle at all. We know this is a romance because it is tagged in such a way that that is clear. We know that romance is likely to take place and that one individual must end up with the hots for another. It is also a very over used "joke" in romantic plots.
Second. I would think it was obvious where that thought came from. The previous few paragraphs were about him contemplating how cute and soft Daring Do is. I think I can safely hazard a guess and say that was the origin of the thought. In general, such thoughts probably come from your mind and the things you were thinking about. That is just how thoughts work.
If the thought actually was random, say you were thinking about whether to put jam or butter on your toast when the thought suddenly popped up, then that might be a reasonable think to think. If the character had actively disliked the other individual or repeatedly been shown as denying liking them, both inwardly and externally, than it might work as well. But, this character has little to no reason to be surprised that he thinks cute ponies are cute. I think cute ponies are cute. I don't see how thinking that is surprising.
It is clear that this is supposed to be about something romantic, or some such, but he has had no clear previous romantic thoughts. He should not realize that thinking of her as cute at this moment is a prelude to romantic feelings. And as such, should not be surprised by thinking of her as cute. Or maybe he should, and the gravity of that realization is not clearly expressed. Then you should make that clearer. If he is not just commenting on her cuteness but on how she is cute, then you should find a way to make that clear. Especially as you just spent a wile commenting on how she was cute in the normal way. I hope you can see how this might be confusing.
To sum up: I hate that line and lines like it. They make characters look stupid or dim witted.
From,
The Smileyrat
P.S. I don't want to give the impression that I dislike this story. I actually like it a lot.
3367922 What?!
But you... I... oooh... well played...
3368844
Don't worry, I didn't catch her out either.
Zeppelin, damnit I keep thinking of the atomic blimp in gta, anyways nice story and try to get another chapter in by Christmas.
Wait a minute
Either this is very important to the plot, the camel is fucking with them, the camel is being a senile old fart, or those two ponies were there without fucking permission.
The last two words of my declaration of shenanigans can have two meanings.
no worries man, writing is hard, im having trouble getting my own story written. either way, great fic so far
The most entertaining chapter yet.