Butter Cream is a short earth pony who would like nothing more than to bake all day. His snobby boss, Golden Hope, runs Manehatten's finest restaurant and bakery, and enjoys teasing and harassing him in the kitchen.
Just as Golden Hope's harassment begins to come to a head, he meets a tall, handsome stallion in the restaurant and falls in love. When the object of his affection, Mocha Caramel, breaks up with his now-ex-boyfriend, he begins to return Butter Cream's affection, and simultaneously causes his ex to direct his ire toward the small pony.
Butter Cream, suddenly finding himself pressured on two fronts, works to keep his new relationship together while keeping his job. But will the Manehatten snob and the angry ex succeed in breaking Butter Cream's resolve, and will he and Mocha Caramel enjoy a happy ending?
Read it later cause it's 6 AM and I have to go to school and die doing 3 tests... Well... I'll read it if I'm still alive :P
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Good luck on your tests! I hope you have time to read. =3
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Uhh... Just came back few hours ago... History test tomorrow...
Whatever this is more important
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Ew, history. My weakest course. Better ask Twilight Sparkle for help. :P
okay, because of this I view fancy pants as best pony.
The protagonist is adorable, yep this deserves a like
Wow, dude this is a fantastic start to what looks like a really promising and already extremely enjoyable little M/M story.
I really like your characters, I want to say that Butter Cream is my favourite (YOu did a really great job of making him work as a cute, shy-ish colt with pride in his work without making it seem 'campy' or like 'stereotypical' either) but, honestly, I kinda like Golden Hope
I mean, she's rude, bordeline abusive to her staff, but, I laughed at a few of her lines (Especially the crack about Butter Cream being 'one of the ladies.')
All in all this is was a really great read; you've got a wonderful writign style (That, actually, I'm kinda...extremely envious of) and it seems like you've got plans to expand this into what I'm sure will be a really cute, funny yarn. You totally earned my golden star/thumbs up and watch.
Keep up the good work, dude.
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Thanks! I appreciate your feedback, and it's splendid to know that my characterizations have worked as I intended!
Golden Hope is supposed to be an utterly despicable character, but that doesn't mean I can't have fun writing her. I, personally, enjoyed the jabs at Butter Cream that I wrote in the beginning, mostly because I thought they were (at the very least) somewhat clever.
I hope you'll be a bit patient with the next chapter, as I've been preoccupied in proofreading friends' stories and working on other things.
Thanks again for your delightful input! =3
I'm surprised there hasn't been much feedback yet, this story definitely deserves more. In any case I've greatly enjoyed these first two chapters. I like the subtle pacing within which you introduce the setting, characters and relationships between them and the details within which you describe the various ponies, activities and environments are quite vivid.
I'm finding myself liking butter cream a lot both in his perception of things and still being able to enjoy his work despite the harassment of a cruel overlord whom you so vividly described as all about reputation, as befitting your manehattan, and the apologetic interacting between him and Mocha is quite cute.
I'll be greatly looking forward to your following chapters.
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Thank you very much! I'm always glad to hear when people like my work. =3
Chapter 3 is in the works right now; I just wish I didn't have so many assignments occupying my time.
This... This is so cute. You get a fav
Ohh I'm bubbling over with anticipation of chapter three
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Yeah, I'm sorry it's been so long! I've found myself very distracted recently. Thankfully finals just passed through, so there should be smooth sailing now.
2640328 heh my finals ended a couple weeks ago. well i really love the story. cant wait for more
Will this be updated soon?
5758637 Unless there is a parallel to be made to Kegisak, it seems unlikely.
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Truth be told, I actually still want to finish it, but, well... It's been about two years. Sorry about that! If I weren't busy with work and other projects, I would probably make this one of my top priorities!
pls update!
This fic is officially dead. A sad day when a fic of much potential goes 3 years without an update. Goodbye sweet fic