Twilight's Dawn

by Dinkledash

Epilogue

Twilight awoke from another exhausted, dreamless sleep; four hours stolen from the gargantuan list of tasks that confronted her. At least she had her friends now, though those relationships had changed. As Applejack had said, "Sugarcube, you cain't resurrect your friends and expect everthin' to stay lahk it always was." The death and loss had changed them all, even though they knew their family and friends were in a better place. For some, the loss of relationships had led to withdrawals, for others, it heightened the need to connect with those remaining. She spared a few minutes to think about her friends.

In some ways, her relationships with the other bearers of the elements were deeper and more serious, as with Rainbow Dash. Sometimes Dash would come in and sit with Twilight as she dealt with the unending planning and paperwork. She wouldn't speak unless Twilight initiated a conversation, not wishing to interrupt the work, but when the princess started to sag, when she started thinking about all that she had lost, all the friends she would never see again, Celestia, her parents, and especially Spike, Dashie would come to her, take her hoof and let her ruler weep into the folds of her wings. Once, after a particularly bad crying jag, Twilight had awoken to find herself in her cot in the rude hut jokingly known as "The Palace," enfolded in Rainbow Dash's warm embrace, taking comfort in her physical nearness and the downy softness of her blue coat. She lay there for the better part of an hour, before Dash started to snore like an angry buzz saw and broke the spell. It was the first time she had laughed out loud about something in a very long time. It was like it must be having an older sister hold you when you felt bad, or perhaps something a little more than that. Twilight wasn't sure what it was, but she was certainly glad for it.

One of Twilight's first official writs confirmed Pinkie Pie's adoption of the Cake twins. Pinkie was still a lot of fun when she remembered to be, morale being most important these days, but to Twilight she seemed much more serious. She spent hours and hours playing with and taking care of her children and the other foals still in the creche. Some had been adopted by older fillies and colts, but there simply were not enough prospective parents (or older siblings) to go around so most stayed in the large hut which served as an orphanage. Pinkie was more or less running the place, and Twilight rarely saw her. It wasn't that Pinkie was avoiding her, but she didn't seek out her company. Twilight thought back to the times when Pinkie would randomly burst in and cause chaos, have arguments with herself or invite her friends to a party at three o'clock in the morning, All the times when Pinke was crazy, obnoxious, incomprehensible... Twilight missed that so much. ...and then I said, oatmeal, you're so crazy... A tear rolled down the princess' cheek at the memory.

Fluttershy had always been the least connected of her friends. Her many relationships with the "critter community" crowded out most pony-pony interactions. Not that she wasn't a dear friend, but her heart was truly for animals, not ponies. Losing all her critter friends in the last battle really seemed to have taken a lot out of her. The animals here were strange, and Fluttershy didn't seem able to approach them. Only one, a creature the dragons referred to as a mongoose (though a less goose-like creature could hardly be imagined), seemed to respond at all to Fluttershy's overtures. She named him Mongo, and he accompanied her sometimes; they appeared to understand one another at a basic level. But he was still a wild thing and not bound to her through the ties of mutual affection that had been her experience with the critters of Equestria.

Rarity seemed almost strangely unchanged by the whole affair. There always was a strong-willed self-reliance underneath that delicate exterior, and her dramatics were of an attention-getting kind rather than reflecting genuine self-doubt. When Twilight asked her about the ponies she had lost, in particular her parents, her response was, "Darling, I know they're all waiting for me on the other side. I was there, remember? They're all perfectly happy and content and I know I'll see them again, so I'm not going to spend a lot of energy worrying about it. Honestly, I never even noticed that Sweetie Belle wasn't there. It's almost like anything that might upset you just isn't terribly important, so I know they don't miss me, at least not enough to seriously concern them. And while I do think about the future here and now, I can't believe we defeated Scylla and Charybdis just to fail here when building the colony. We'll make it through. You are the only pony who would have had a chance of pulling this off, so I don't want to hear any of this survivor's guilt nonsense either. You've done what you had to do. Have faith in yourself; you might be amazed to know just how much faith the rest of us have in you." With that she kissed her on the cheek and went back to sewing sailcloth and tent canvas.

Applejack seemed to have had her mood considerably improved; she was more cheerfully practical than ever. "Ah saw mah parents! Ma and Pa Apple! I got to tell 'em all about Apple Bloom and how much she'd grown, all the things we got to do together. It was so nice to be able to see them agin', and now thet ah know they're all waitin' for us... Ah don't worry about nothin'. And there's LOTS of work to be done, so we're all going to be too busy to be feelin' sorry for ourselves. Everythin' is gonna be just fine, sugarcube." Twilight was caught utterly off guard when Applejack quickly kissed her on the lips, and then trotted off lead the plow teams. Her lips tasted like sugared apples.

Twilight snapped out of her reverie. It is time to think on the day's business.

First on the list, review the food inventory. Preservation spells on the food kept it from spoiling, but there was little that could be done about mice and rats getting into the huts used to store food. Their draconic allies were able to provide them with a certain amount, but Twilight didn't want to appear to be too dependent. Alliances were built on mutual respect, not dependency. The assignment of twenty dragon lancers as a guard force was an absolute necessity; there was no way they could defend themselves against even a minor incursion as they were. She would ask for nothing else if she could help it.

On a related note was weather control. An important part of Equestria's impressive fertility was regulation of rainfall and the elimination of large storms. Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo spent an average of twelve hours a day rounding up and compressing clouds to produce rains across the shallow valley being cleared by Applejack's colts and fillies. Three other pegasi, two colts and a filly, will be joining them today as apprentices. Usually a third of all pegasi wound up in weather control, as it is a very labor-intensive field, so the odds were at least one of the apprentices would gain their cutie mark fairly quickly. Twilight hoped for twenty trained weather pony specialists by the spring. Twilight had decided to have a short ceremony for this and all future apprenticeships; the development of specialized skills was crucial to the survival of the colony.

An apprentice... Sun Glimmer, of all the unicorn fillies, seemed to have the most serious and studious nature. Twilight had been thinking about who to apprentice to herself, and Sun Glimmer was the most likely choice. She came from a long line of wizardly unicorns, none of them spectacularly powerful, but they had a reputation for versatility and quick thinking. Unfortunately with that studiousness came a certain callousness, certainly understandable given the horrors they'd all been through, but Twilight wasn't certain that Sun Glimmer actually cared about other ponies' well-being. She was harsh in her criticisms of other fillies failed attempts at spells and didn't seem particularly interested in mentoring them or encouraging them to do better. Still, she was certainly the quickest learner and Twilight had to work with the available materials, and perhaps some hardness would be an asset in this place. Here I am, thinking her callous when I killed two fillies to bring my friends back from beyond the door of death. She would make the announcement tomorrow, after discussing it with Sun Glimmer tonight.

Then there was the inspection of the irrigation pumps being built by Plumb Bob. She had been leaning very heavily on that colt, and he has been delivering. She would have to do something special for him, perhaps give him a ceremonial title like Royal Master Carpenter or some such. And he should have apprentices too! Twilight almost kicked herself. Everypony with a cutie mark will have at least one apprentice. We'll have to have a meeting. She jotted down some notes, and then thought of Spike for the first time that day. It would not be the last. How could I have let him get away? One moment I had him in a magical cocoon and the next, he was gone... How was that even possible?

Twilight's mind touched upon the navy. Blueblood and his crew had built a new ship's boat for the schooner to replace the one lost in the storm, and wanted her to name it at a ceremony today. Captain Blueblood had formally renounced all claims to royal title, which was useful for several reasons. First off, he was the only pony with any significant seafaring experience, and he certainly knew the Celestia better than anypony else. He was a navigator, explorer and adventurer, who had been bound by his royal birth to ceremonial duties in the palace, and was miserable. Now, Canterlot was rubble, and he was a crucial member of her team. The sea had done wonders for him, disfigurement aside. His spirit was free and he delighted in his new role as a leader. His young crew practically worshiped him as he taught them all he knew of the sea. Four cutie marks had been revealed in the past month, all of them members of his crew, and all of them nautical in nature. He bore little resemblance to that obnoxious fop at the gala, which brought her to the second point.

He was the last surviving pony in Equestria who was a descendant of the Celestial bloodline. His magic, while not very versatile, was extremely powerful at sea and in matters of navigation, cartography and such. He could never get lost, even if he tried. He could glance at a scene and in moments draw an accurate map of everything within view. His magical potential had to be fed back into the gene pool. He must be bred. Twilight forced herself into an objective state. We must have foals together. She would not marry him; he was the last full grown stallion in the world, and the population of ponies was dangerously low. For the next seven years at a minimum, there were only six mares and one stallion of breeding age. The others will see that for themselves, I hope, but once we have the colony safely established, we're going to have to grow the population as fast as possible, even if I have to make it a royal decree. It certainly helps that he's no longer a twit. However, since he had renounced his title, only her foals with him would be of the royal line, and that made things much easier from a political standpoint.

She watched as the false dawn was brightened by the sun's rays. She squinted and imagined she could see Celestia's smile. As dawn rolled across the landscape, down from the mountainsides, over the hills and finally onto the beach, Twilight pondered her new realm. She watched as a large insect, jewel toned with golden filigree wings alighted upon a glorious white blossom. This new land certainly has its beauty. The flower snapped shut, and the gemfly made a noise that sounded unpleasantly like a scream. Beautiful, treacherous and deadly.

Author's Note:

There have been some changes made in earlier chapters, most notably Chapter 6, where a lot more background has been added. I plan to send this to Editor's Group before submitting it for review and hopefully to EQD. I would like to thank my readers for their encouragement and constructive criticism.

Comments

[Uberdeathninja]

and so our story ends... BOARING!

[ymom2]

Please tell me there will be a sequel.

[Dinkledash]

2672088 This is part 1 of 4. Twilight's Dawn, Twilight's War, Twilight's Empire, Twilight's Return. Or something like that. The names aren't set in stone.

[Dinkledash]

2670661 It's an epilogue, not a cliffhanger. And the pretty little bug got eaten. I would have thought you would have enjoyed that part.

[Uberdeathninja]

2673187
i did. it's just your entire story is BOARING!
now die.

[Dinkledash]

2310024 Epilogue is finished but I've submitted it to an editor's group so there may be further changes before it is completely complete... but I've reached the stopping point plot-wise for part 1 of the series.

[Adjutant Stormy]

Dayum. Aside from a handful of copyediting bits, a fantastic piece.

You've got the fave, good sir.

[Dinkledash]

2774554 Thanks! I have it in on Looking for Editors... no bites yet.

[Dinkledash]

2916828 In the next story I plan to have her deal with her guilt a bit more. Now that she has some breathing space, I plan for her to have some sort of breakdown at a highly inopportune time.

[Rustled Pages]

Ok, my final views on the story:

You seemed to be building a sense of "survival at any cost" and then exploring how much people are willing to pay. Somewhere between Grim-light and Bright-dark. I was ok with this until right after Pinkie had the idea to reverse the age on the sick and dying. yes, in reality, a leader would jump at a chance to get so many of her populace back, but it really undermined the whole lose element of the "colonial era voyage across the ocean" feel I was getting. I guess I could have lived with that, even through the dragons and the sacrifice of the Crusaders, but then you immediately brought them back! Not only does this, combined with the return of Luna, completely undermine the tragedy element of the Crusader's sacrifice, it also completely invalidates the condolence offering from the dragon king. It won't need to be named Crusader Coast anymore because they didn't sacrifice anything. In a tragedy like what you were trying to build, having the heroes who bravely sacrifice themselves just pop back into existence, not only with no consequence but a free power-up, makes their sacrifice meaningless. You might as well have had Luna just bring back the rest of the main cast instead of waiting for the sacrifice, especially with no explanation as to how magic that we have seen take an entire soul to cast was circumvented.

Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Celestia showed up with a convenient spell to bring everyone back to life (including Spike) since we were blatantly told that when Twilight scried Luna she saw her perish under giant meteorites (first time I've seen that death though, very original), what's to say Celestia didn't banish herself( or shining armor, or cadence, or everyone in the field hospital) to some other yet-to-be-disclosed location? I mean, she apparently sent not only Luna, but also her chariot and a contingent of Lunar Guard to the moon (which she is somehow able to manifest from, even though in cannon it was impossible and the whole point of the banishment in the first place was that it was impossible. On the whole, I feel that this scene was a badly handled (quite literal) Deus Ex Machina.

The attempt to bring back the sadness with Twilight lamenting having to bear a child with Blueblood is kind of moot, since most of the mares were already drooling over him.

Now that that's out of the way, the things I liked:

Don't take the earlier comments the wrong way, I liked this story a lot, and I think it has great potential, but you lost focus on the mood somewhere in the middle, and never got it back. That aside, there were a few things I genuinely liked. Rarity smelling like jewels? Obvious shipping is obvious, but still, it is original and fresh and I like that. It is a new take on Spikes irresistible attraction to her, but I would think that after he breaks bonds, hulks out, and protects her to his death, that she would be a little more torn up about Spike than "oh my poor spikie wikie. Oh well, onto these more adult dragons who only lust after me and never showed an iota of devotion to me". Even so much as "I agonized about it for weeks before I confessed my growing attraction to the prince to the girls. They assured me that Spike would want me to be happy" would have been a better transition.

I loved loved LVED the portrayal of Twilight's rushed ascension to power. Difficult decisions come with the job, and I like how you portray her struggle with them. Having been forced into a position which I was not ready for myself, I can say that you portrayed the feelings she had almost perfectly. Indecision, regret, and overall a wish for someone else to have to make the tough choices, but a growing realization that you are that someone else for all the people under your care. Done perfectly. What I didn't see enough of (at least for my taste) was anger. Anger at Celestia, anger at her situation, and lots of unexplainable frustration in general. I expected the first few letters to contain raging rants at Celestia for burdening her with this responsibility. And of course, eventual acceptance and forgiveness that follows.

The portrayal of Elyssium was unique and well done. Also its effects on the mind are in keeping with the old saying "There is no worrying in heaven".

I'm sure there are other things I liked that I can't remember now, but I had quite a few. Once again, please don't take this as mostly negative criticism, but instead as constructive. I see in this a great work waiting to burst out of its adolescence with the guidance of a talented editor.

[Dinkledash]

2918754 Thank you. It's my first story and I agree that I am badly in need of an editor. There isn't enough on the bones and some of what is there probably needs to be cut off. It was weird, ideas just blasting out of the front if my skull. I HAD to write. I've never experienced that before and I realize that there are elements that don't hang together well. I'm going to go back to read your comment with due consideration later, but I do want to thank you for taking the time to express your support and provide some of the overarching criticism that my other critics avoided. There are indeed, some things that bother me about the story now that I have some distance.

Still... it hurts a bit. But thank you.

[Death2205]

2931737 dinkleberg

[Dinkledash]

4655065 weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/keep-calm-and-blame-dinkleberg.jpg

[Death2205]

4655119 ok then

DINKLEBERG!

[Dinkledash]

5763115 It isn't dark grimdark... it was my first story and it doesn't really fit into a neat category. Thanks for reading though!

[zolloz]

... i kinda liked this story except the whole resurecting thing with the elements.... except for rainbow dash that i kinda understood and liked since they had her body and all. Have you begun writing the 2nd installments of this series or did you stop? since i can't seem to find it in your stories list

[Dinkledash]

7534631 Sorry I sort of lost my heart for this when the elements of harmony were no longer canon going forward.

[CrimsonCow]

Please make a sequel..!