• Member Since 29th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 11th, 2018

Bright Heart


T
Source

After her parents were murdered right before her eyes, Diamond Tiara swore to get rid of crime in Ponyville. She became the vigilante of the night, Batmare. Can she handle being a bachelorette, head of Rich's Barnyard Bargains, and being Batmare without someone finding out who she is?

The reason for the Alternate Universe category is that there is no magic in this Equestria. Batmare will face villains that would normally be OP against her, so I took away magic to level the playing field so to speak.

Original Idea- Mattricole
Editor- Mudpony

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 49 )

And it is finally out, and it's improved from last time I've read it. You did a great job writing this, especially that this was your first fanfic. Can't wait for the next chapter, hope it's done soon :pinkiehappy:!

Never in my life would I have thought of Diamond Tiara as Batmare/man

Dat picture of DT. :rainbowkiss:

Not bad, not bad at all.:ajsmug:

Finally i can get to work. Sees story. sits there for 3 minutes staring with mouth open. Throws work out the window. Reads. claps so loudly that people next door can hear.

I object to this, because if she really was Batman, OP foes wouldn't be an issue! Batman's fought powerful, flying, and even magic based foes in his long history. Just means she should have to get creative to deal with her versions.

2226494 The reason why is because I am not confident yet in tackling ways that Batmare can beat OP foes in an original way . I just started writing and I am willing to learn, but I am not where I want to be in order to be that creative. I am creative enough to be able to plan devious plots for villains, detailed dialogue, Batmare using gadgets and her intellect to find out what the bad guys are up to, and hoof to hoof/paw/claw combat; you will see later on in the story. But if you have any critiques please let me know, as I said before I do want to learn how to write well and improve each time. :pinkiesmile:

2225662 cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-tblush.png awwwwwwww thank you cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-mintyhugs.png and sorry that you went through that. I did not know that someone else was working on the same story idea cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-otinysad.png

2225386 I know right?! Kraysee made an awesome older DT, I am just glad I found it and that I could use it cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dawesome.png

2225156 Neither did I, until Mattricole posted a group thread on Diamond Cutters and he said that DT would make a perfect fit. I said thats a great idea and that I wished that I could write because I would make it into a story, and then both Mattricole and Mudpony were encouraging me to write it. Now I am so happy I did and I have so many ideas for this story! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rcrown.png

2225088 I am glad you think so! Especially since it is your idea in the first place, I am very happy that the story so far is meeting expectations :raritystarry::pinkiehappy:

2227457
oh i wasn't going to write batmare i just had to get homework done. :moustache:

2233326 N'aww, your misery gives me purpose.

My opinion is that this story deserves a higher rating. While the word choice feels a little flat, there's nothing wrong with it. I'd like to see where it goes.

2246484 Thank you and I will try to improve the words in the story :derpytongue2: its gonna be awesome, i have the villains lined up, but instead of making OC of Batman's villains, I will be using ponies that fit the background and a little bit of their personality. I do not want to give spoilers, if you want to be surprised. I am very excited for the story :pinkiehappy::twilightblush::scootangel::moustache:

Pretty fair start, I'd say. Already emotional right of the bat...mare. In terms of advice, I'd say to make sure the tense is consistent. Present tense popped up a few times, one of them in contemplating about the past. I did end up with a question, though: what's Alfred's cutie mark? He lacks an improper noun name which makes it difficult to guess. :trixieshiftright:

2270437 ok i will be sure to fix that and watch out for my consistency. O! I haven't thought of his cutie mark ^^; well i always see him wearing a black suit all the time so it would cover up his cutie mark. Joe (Donut Joe, but Joe is the official name for him according to MLP FIM Wikia) also does not have a improper noun and his cutie mark is a donut. To me the cutie mark more so represents the pony's personality and what they are good at. That being said, I think his cutie mark would be a silver platter and a black rook (chess piece) on top of it. The silver platter represents what he is good at, serving while the rook represents his loyalty and dependability in any situation (basically being Diamond Tiara's rock when she needs it)

2273514 Lolz! Idk where that emoticon site is, even with the link. Oh well, there are like 48 already! :ajbemused::ajsleepy::ajsmug::applecry::applejackconfused::applejackunsure::coolphoto::derpyderp1::derpyderp2::derpytongue2::fluttercry::flutterrage::fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::fluttershysad::heart::pinkiecrazy::pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy:

2273518 o well here you go Link to LOTS of mlp emoticons and more! i.imgur.com/fWw60oj.png just right click the emoticon you want to use and click copy image location and then go your post and insert image and paste the location and there you go! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-ceyay.png

2273555

Oh, so you want it that way, do you?

cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pmad_fixed.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pgrin.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-tannoy.png
fimfiction-static.net/images/icons/image.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-tshock.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-awhine.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pshrug.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-tsquint.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dderp.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rshock.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dawesome.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-asquint.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rsad.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pmad_fixed.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pgrin.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-tannoy.png
fimfiction-static.net/images/icons/image.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-tshock.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-awhine.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pshrug.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-tsquint.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dderp.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rshock.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dawesome.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-asquint.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rsad.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pmad_fixed.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pgrin.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-tannoy.png
fimfiction-static.net/images/icons/image.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-tshock.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-awhine.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pshrug.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-tsquint.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dderp.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rshock.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dawesome.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-asquint.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rsad.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pmad_fixed.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pgrin.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-tannoy.png
fimfiction-static.net/images/icons/image.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-tshock.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-awhine.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pshrug.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-tsquint.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dderp.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rshock.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dawesome.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-asquint.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rsad.png

I bet you can't see my trick...

2273572 How I did that and what I did are linked!
http://cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-foops.png
Punny mistake!

2273583 Lol! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-ssmug.png I think I'm filling up all the comments on your story, hehehe. Once I get the time, we're gonna need a real emoticon battle. No repeats! Please?!
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-swplease.png

Hello your writing is super duper good. BTW how in the wide world of Equestria do you add a emotercon ????????

2429262 thank you and go to Pony Central and scroll until you find the emoticon that you want to use, right click it and click on 'copy image location, and then in the comment you want to use it for click on insert image and paste the link cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rcrown.png tadah! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/ppartytime.png

For that problem with unicorns outmatching her with magic you can just give her magic-resistant armor.

2519597 i could... i will just have to really think where i am going to go with this story and how am i going to get there... i want this story to be full of action like a super hero comic with a little bit of darkness in it

2520820
well so far you're on that track, so keep up with the good work!

2520820 You haven't make any progress yet, You only make one chapter

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!