Set this back a 1000 years ago, where three instead of two Princesses ruled over the Earth. Set it when things didn't make sense, and the world still had an evil lurking around. Princess Diane, the third sister, ruled side by side her other sisters, but in faux harmony rather. Daily fights ensure, and one day, Princess Celestia snapped. She sends Princess Diane on one of her mundane missions, which was to ensure the magic binding Discord was reinforced. On the quest to reseal Discord, she discovers the meaning of life (literally), but in return, Discord has been released from Ponydora, a box that had imprisoned him over the last 1000 years. Havoc ensures on Earth, and only she can reseal Discord. Along the journey, she meets a stallion, Cain Tellot, who proves to be stronger than he looks. Will the two undo this evil, or will this friendship of theirs turn aloof? And will the three sisters ever make it up?
Edit: fixed MANY, MANY grammatical mistakes o.o ... and to trust spell check. Next time, manually checking.
Edit 2: Changed description
Edit 3: Changed description yet again... lol... imsofickleminded
Okay, since you were so gracious to check into my work (and then rave about it) I decided to check into your stuff, and I must say, I'm quite impressed. The entire concept you've set up for the story, the Princesses actually being reincarnated ponies from the past, is very intriguing and I'm intrested to see what happens next. I also like the character of Diane, her sarcastic/joveal out look on life makes it for a delightful read.
Now, here comes the woe.
After the way you talked so much about my story I feel very offensive about pointing out mistakes in yours, but here it goes. I noticed in the early part of this prologue, you said "Her skin was pink and..." And I would just like to point out that a ponies "Skin" is actually referred to as their flank. Also, if you haven't already, I recommend getting this proof-read. I saw many grammical errors, such as simply using the wrong tense, forgetting a word, or the misplacement of a word or two. Sorry, again, I feel like I'm offending you, but the mistakes are there, and its best to get them taken care of. But don't feel too bad. I make these mistakes ALL the time, I even had to edit this comment. 
If you don't already, I highly recommend using Microsoft Word 2010 if you have it, or any other Microsoft Word processing unit for that matter (like 07 or older). Its a very helpful tool and I would be living in a gutter sucking my thumb without it.
But other then that dude, you got quite the adventure here! Can't wait to read more! You got a really good idea here, and I say run with it. Who knows where it'll take you?
Anyways, hope I was helpful and non-offensive at the same time. Good writing to you!
-Power to the Bronys
Hey, dude, if you seriously want some help with proof-reading, I'll send you my email (so long as you agree not to give it to other people
) and you could email it to me, and I'll proof read it all for you. Fix the spelling mistakes, offer insight, the whole shubang. Just, if you use google dox, don't send it as a file. I don't use google dox, so just send it all as a ordinary text document. However, if you use Microsoft Word, I would very much appreciate file. Just an idea.
-Power to the Bronys
To asnwer your question, I believe that love, rather then be an emotion or some finicky chemical reaction in the brain, is an action: a choice. For my friends to love me as a friend, they must first learn to tolerate my sometimes egocentric and antagonistic behavior, but they remain loyal as my friends, and I would gladly die for them.
Take an old married couple for example. If their relationship was predicated upon emotion, would they have not split up when they felt angry, or frustrated with one another? Did they not choose to stay together? What bound them through the dark nights of seperation? What kindled the fire while the weather was cold and murky? Is love really an emotion? Can it be? Not for them, it can't be, by a default. They would have choosen to constantly love each other, no matter what, for better or for worse.
Was Rainbow's loyalty to her friends when tempted by the Shadow Bolts not a choice? Or how about when she gave up the position at the Wonder Bolts academy, all for the sake of her friends, was that not a choice?
Love is a choice. Most of us are destined to be with a significant other in our lives, but is our constant devotion and faithfulness to that person completely predicated on emotion? God forbid, because our emotions are fickle beings that are easily changed by even the most feeble of breezes. So love, real love, true love, must be a choice if it has even a remote chance of thriving. And then, from this choice, this action of love comes the emotion. To trully love someone is to choose to be by their side, no matter the weather, to never faulter or flee, and by that comes the emotion of love, the expierence of loving someone, the joy of the action of loving.
This is what I beleive, and I stand by it.
-Power to the Bronys
2324036 email would be great XD ill send you mine first.
But i STILL don't get it. I run it over Word as well... albeit not Microsoft Word, and I did a spellcheck and everything, but I guess computers aren't perfect o.o Maybe I should read it over slowly to note worthy mistakes, cause just like you said, people have noted about my grammatical and spelling mistakes, which I puzzle over
|
Speaking of the idea of the reincarnation, I've got comments about it being unorthodox, that I'm breaking Canon etc... same thing goes for the Diane.
2326429 and thanks for looking over my work too :) Appreciate helpful comments XD
2338238
But it's still good to hear from other writers and get their opinions.
Hey, no worries man. I like going over other writers work and offering feed back, and even receiving feed back myself. Okay, well, that last part was a little bit of a lie. I like getting GOOD feed back, and I don't really like it when people point out my mistakes.
And don't worry about "not getting it." I went over what I had for my story over a dozen times, and there was still mistakes that others found! So, its best to get a second opinion and have some pre-readers on demand.
And don't worry about breaking canon. I've already done that many times by making Vinyl's eyes red (CONSPIRACY!
) and mentiony Derpy by DERPY and not the other "Name-that-shall-not-be-named." So, kudos on breaking canon. It means you think outside the box and are not bound by the masses.
And I look forward to working with you.
-Power to the Bronys
Dude..
This was amazing! Probably the best chapter so far, and the changes you made just added to the awesomeness. Its really good dude, and I mean that. You definitely got some skills here. Can't wait to see what happens next!
(PS, I'll be shooting you what I have so far for On Trial soon, so be on the lookout for that)
Happy writing, and I hope all goes well.
-Power to the Bronys
Now, I'll tell ya right now, Alicorn OCs are usually downvoted or ignored by default. But it looks like you put a lot of effort into this. So... I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here. I'll be sure to give this a read.
2486360 Yeah I've recieved all of that before... didn't plan to have an Alicorn PRINCESS OC at the start, but seemed like it worked so far... Only trouble is to keep remembering that she has both, but I don't wanna use either. It's more of a status thing rather than a biological thing for me.
Looks intriguing :) I am looking forward to reading it.