Essence: Past, Present, Future

by IceQB

Chapter 4: Luna

Teal eyes, ready to kill. Mane that glows with stars flickering every now and then. Crescent moon on flank and chest armor. Wings that span the entire body... A smile yet so bright in the dark...

So that's how she looks like... I've always imagined her looking more... well... looking more fancy like Celly, that's all. She sure knows how to look... stunning... even when there isn't an audience around.

The night loomed, but Luna's appearance was comforting. Despite having little interaction, my trust was already placed in this sister of mine, something Celly could never do. She took a step forward and swayed her hair back, her face now shining in the moonlight. The guards, on sight, bowed their heads and retreated slightly, and took refuge under a tree.

Wait... Something strikes me... odd with her appearance though. The grace. The elegant... It's all there. The style. The look... Not a single element missing... What is then?

"Hey there, sister." She smiled, and wrapped a hoof around me. "Thought I'd drop by to keep you company."

My immediate response would had been to flinch and sigh, but I held it back. Luna hadn't interacted with us for a long, long time, and I didn't want her to know what had happened over the last few months. The much more frequent fights. quarrels, and arguments back 'home' with Celly. The unhappiness I had over the fact that I am a Princess, and there's nothing I could do about it. The uneasiness I had throughout the entire night from such a fussy task. These little issues were all big psychological problems to me; I've been trying to put up a fight against myself, but with each time, I crumble back down, gasping for the freedom of choice I never had.

No. I'm... I'm strong... I'm brave... It's all... only in my head... But... but it's hard... It's hard keeping up with all of these.

No, no. One day, you will grow up and understand all of these. You're just young, that's all... Just... young.

But how long would it take me to understand what my life means? How can I be like... like my sisters?

Come on, you can do it. Believe in yourself.

Believe?

Believe.

I refused to look down, and pushed my grounded problems aside. There were things I didn't know and hadn't realised yet. Instead, I held my head high, silently wishing at the moon for some of my sisters' knowledge, then looked back down at Luna, hoping for a sister that could provide me with some answers.

"I saw how freaked out you were just now." Luna let out a chuckle.

I can see why I liked her instantly. She was much like me; just playing, wanting to have some fun.

"Hope I didn't scare you too much." She teased. "Now now, we wouldn't want you to chicken out, and Discord getting released right?"

"Wait, you know why I'm here?" I asked, before she started circling around me.

"Yeah. I still keep up to date with news back home, like-"

"Like how Thunder Fist just got promoted to head guard?"

"Well, that, and also, I'm talking about my two lovely sisters. Princess Diane and Princess Celestia." Her eyes glinted deviously. She tilted her head down a little, and a sly smile formed on the left side of her lips.

I could sense sarcasm in her speech. Even with her friendly tone, I felt a slight change in the atmosphere. I looked her, trying to figure out the subtext behind her speech. I couldn't put my hoof on it, but it felt like she wasn't here to lecture me or scold me. Maybe she's here to inform me or notify me about something? Still, I gulped, preparing for the worst. Play it cool Diane, play it cool.

"Ha, ha, ha." I stifled a laughter. "You're so funny, sis!"

"I know I am." She gave me a wink, and I flinched back a little.

"What was that for?"

"What was what for?" She feinted ignorance as she tried to play around with my head, but I could see through it; there was some kind of plan she intended to execute, and I didn't want to figure it out a second too late.

"That wink you gave me."

"Oh the wink? I picked it up just recently! I've tried that on many other foals around the palace, and when I ask that if I looked good, they giggled at me. That means I'm funny. I am funny right??" Luna started bouncing around me like a little foal would around her mother. Her eyes bore innocence in them as she continued to harass me with torrents of strange questions.

"Uhm, sure?" I eyed her suspiciously, her motive even more unclear that before.

"Yay!" She stopped bouncing around and opened her two huge eyes. She grinned and let her mouth drop a little loose, then tilted her head slightly to the right. "Oh, oh, you know who else is... funny?"

"Who?"

"You!" she pointed and giggled, letting a wink out again in the process..

"Stop it! You're so weird sis." My cheeks blushed. Why must she wink at me so... so... so lovingly?

"Aww, but I just mean well!" She pouted.

"It's so weird, but... uh... thanks?" My face started cringing. I wasn't used to being complimented by anyone.

"That's what I'm here for!" The pout turned into an obscure smile. Was Luna down with some sort of ADHD I wasn't told of, or just plain crazy at this moment? "Oh hey, you know who else means well?" She looked at me expectantly.

"Let me guess, me?" I tried to play along with her crazy antics at this moment, like two schoolfoals playing catching, with me chasing behind her train of thoughts.

"Nope!" She let a chuckle out. "Celestia!"

"What?" I scratched my head in disbelief, wondering if she was dead serious, or plain crazy.

"Yeah! You know she means well too, right? Right?" She grinned and placed her hoof around me.

"Well, yeah, but... but she doesn't need to be so annoying!" I yelled out in despair, taking a step back.

Suddenly, her playful eyes sharpened, her eyes now staring intently at mine. Her mischievous smile had turned into a sharp one, as if they were chainsaws. Her eyebrows furrowed, and her breath was short and fast. "So you do admit it."

Oops.

I stood there, stunned, unable to procure words out of my two, defeated lips. My own sister actually outplayed me. I took another step back, and my head dropped low. My eyes refused to make contact with the world, and my heart started throbbing harder. I let my mane fall; the gentle breeze swayed, and it had covered my face. I was upset; it was one thing to be defeated, to be outplayed. It was another for my pride to be shattered.

"Aww, cheer up kiddo." She started walking towards me, her once devilish look on her face had turned into a warm, sincere, comforting one. "You can't hide things from me. After all, I can see things that are... hidden... in the dark."

Luna's attempt to console me with her pun had work. I managed to tilt my head towards her, and her smile had an undesirable side effect on me; I smiled back. But it was short-lived; I glanced back down onto the floor and sighed.

"But... but... I don't get it! I'm trying my best to be a Princess!... I didn't choose to be one! But Celestia keeps scolding me for everything! She wants me to do this right, do that right, but I don't know how or why I should! It's so frustrating!... I don't want to be a Princess anymore! I don't, I don't!" My tears were ready to flow out at any time; they lived on the edge of my eyelids, and if anything were to trigger them, they would burst out like river flowing through a broken dam.

"You... don't?" Her eyebrows raised, her tone rather surprised.

"No! I'd rather be normal like everyone else, so I don't have to do any of this bull-"

"Calm down now, Princess Diane." I flinched at the sound of my title. "No need for that kind of language." There was a slight pause before she spoke again. "I knew it. I knew you couldn't handle being a Princess. Celestia told me all about it. About how you-"

"WHAT?" CELLY? THAT... THAT BUCKING-" I couldn't finish that sentence. There were words I would use to describe my sister, but the impact of those words wouldn't ever be strong enough.

Celly actually talked to Luna? THAT LIAR! She always told me she hadn't had a chance to, BUT OH LOOK. LOOK AT THE COLD, HARD TRUTH!

No, no. It's not like that. Your sisters will never lie to you.

BUT IT'S CELLY! SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME AT ALL.

That's just all in your head. You have to relax.

BUT IT'S BUCKING CELLY! MY FREAKING SISTER, PRINCESS BUCKING CELESTIA!

Calm down. It's Luna here, not Celestia, right?

BUCKING CEL, BUCKING... Luna?

Yes, Luna. You know, fun loving Luna? The one you like?

Luna? Fun? I like fun...

Good. Fun is good. So take a breath, and calm down.

Good? Take a breath?

Mhm. Go ahead, no one's stopping you.

Okay...but...

No buts, just smile and breath in...

I inhaled.

And out.

And exhaled. I looked up, and my face was in a flustered mess. Rage had turned into sorrow; my heart felt like needles had stabbed it all over, my brain now in a incoherent state of thought. My mind was blank, as I stood there stunned, afraid of Luna, and afraid of what damage I almost did. Still, the fact remained that my sisters were talking about me behind me back, and I didn't like that. At this point, I was more hurt than angry at them.

"How... how c-could you? You b-betrayed me. I thought... I thought you w-were... d-different."

"Dear sis, I may not be as wise as Celestia, nor as sneaky as you-"

"SNEAKY?" My heart decided to take that as an insult rather than a compliment. I shouted at her, but it was a second too late before my mind decided to shut my lips, and I regretted it almost immediately. The last thing I wanted to do was to get mad at my other sister, one that I actually might care for. "Sorry... I mean... I... I d-don't know..." My face started dripping in tears; the dam had been broken.

"It's fine sister. I'm sorry too. I... I didn't know any better." Her lips saddened. As usual, she placed her hoof around me. This time, the hoof brought along sincere warmness and comfort that flowed through my body, soothing my anger slightly. I let out a soft sob, and threw my hoof around her, both Luna and I now embracing in each others sadness.

"We all have emotions, sister. It's not easy controlling them, trust me," she said.

I took another deep breath, then let a sigh out, but my tears were like waterfalls. We hugged for for a few seconds, and the world around us seemed to slow down for a while. I did not want to break free; I hadn't had a chance to experience such bond with my sisters in quite some time, and the last thing I wanted to do was to destroy this intimate bond we had. I held on to her lovingly, and in return, she stroked my back soothingly, softening the cries I had earlier. Time flew by; we must had been in each others arms for quite some time already, as the tight grips around us started loosening more and more. Wolves howled in the distance, and the forest laid still since then. I gave her one last squeeze, and she returned it, before she broke off and held my face up with a hoof, revealing my teary face to the shimmering stars. She then endearingly placed the other hoof on my wet, sobbing face, and caressed it slightly, like how a big sister would comfort the little one. She stroked it slightly, wiping the tears off my face, and pulled my hair aside.

She then spoke to me, our breaths feeling each others' faces and our eyes locked onto each others' pupils. "Sister, I'm sorry I had to put you through this, but there are things I must talk to you about." She paused for a brief moment, then continued. "Even as a Princess, there are times where you can't get everything you want. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. But remember, don't ever force it. I've... I've met p-ponies in the past who tried to force their way through. Because... because of them, some p-ponies... s-some ponies had to d-d-die for it..." She choked on the last sentence and looked down, her face now as grave as life would be if joy didn't exist.

I could feel gravity on those words, as if her world had just been crushed by its force. I stood there, stuck in her orbit of thoughts, trying to figure out what she meant by the last part of her sentence. But even after a deliberate amount of time thinking about it, I looked down, and produced a solemn "okay", barely audible even to my ears . Her words had probably triggered a few bad memories; she stood silent for a moment, then lifted my chin up again, locked eyes with me and whispered, "Here, come with me. There's something I'd like to show you."

Author's Note:

Hey guys, chapter 4 is out! :D Thanks for y'all who read this!
- H

P.s. I need proofreaders / pre-readers :) Anyone interested, contact me :D I'll do proofreading / pre-reading too XD

Comments

[Power to the Bronys]

Dude..
This was amazing! Probably the best chapter so far, and the changes you made just added to the awesomeness. Its really good dude, and I mean that. You definitely got some skills here. Can't wait to see what happens next!

(PS, I'll be shooting you what I have so far for On Trial soon, so be on the lookout for that)

Happy writing, and I hope all goes well.
-Power to the Bronys