Vinyl lives life to the fullest but wants to know what love is. Octavia got her heart broken and never wants to get close to anyone ever again. How will things play out when Vinyl sets her eyes on Octavia? Will she change Octavia's mind or will someone get in the way?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well, I won't lie to you, this piece could use some serious work with a proofreader, but otherwise, your story line is nice. I'll keep myself posted on your updates, just to see how this turns out.
Have a thumbs up... This thing is good!
I may fav it if I like the rest!
Nice story, errors aside. Thumbs up and fav.
Good story. You seem to be missing a bunch of commas though.
keep it up im liking it so far, word to the wise you can make lyra a rival but don't make her a bitch people don't like that just saying
I'd have to agree on both points with The Princess Rarity: grammer check, and the story is pretty nice. 'Will be watching to see how it goes, as well.
Very simple note for grammer: "I"s, as in: 'me, myself, and I', are always captialized; and plurals have no apostrope S.
I'm not sure how much you may read, but, as far as writting things, reading always helps.
Way to go: first FiM-fic!
short but not bad.
hope the story goes on in chapter 3 hehe
A few errors here and there but over all it really has my attention, I like your amount of detail, it's very impressive for a first story, I can't wait to read more, if you ever need any help, ideas or advice, I got your back. FORWARD!!!
Hmmmm.....this could honestly use an editor, and as a suggestion I would say to put P.O.V which stands for point of view so as to not get the ponies speaking confused, otherwise people may not know who is speaking, though guessing from the title, they will now
Not bad at all, a few brushes to make sure everything is clean and you got as well written, well detailed story, I shall read on
You NEED to get a proofreader/editor to fix the grammar errors in this story, it gets kind of distracting at some points.
But the story seems to be really interesting so far and you appear to have a knack for detail so I'll def be fav'ing this one.
I have no idea how you misspelled right and then spelled it correctly in the SAME sentence.
2872505 i'm dumb and stupid. i suck at grammar and spelling. I also have no talent in writing, i don't know where the punctuation should go and i'm still an amateur , that's how. But even so i write, i write not for me, i write for people. I write to share a story and hopefully, just hopefully making them smile the way i do when i read. So i'm sorry and thanks for being honest.
it is an intresting story, I rather like how the town and places seem to be centered on music. The two do seem to be a bit more carefree and I like that.
Working on your pacing, and back ground details would help pull the reader deeper into the story. I am not one to say anything about grammer or spelling, I suck at it pretty badly myself.