I've always loved living in Canterlot. It was never particularly "bad". Everypony was classy and kind. Just like me. Or so I thought. Sometimes, a mare needs a change of scenery. To get away from the evils of discrimination. I guess that's why I moved to Ponyville. To get away from the sight of discrimination against Ponyvillians. I never guessed that the decision to move to Ponyville, would be the thing that would lead me to the mare of my dreams. My name is Octavia. I am a violinist, and former cellist and resident of Canterlot. I am going to tell you the story of how I met the greatest pony in the world, the mare of my dreams and how my feelings for her grew as I lived with her. The story of the greatest decision of my life.
Chapters (3)
This seems childish. Not bad exactly, but childish. There's a sudden influx of ponies from Ponyville why? Everyone in the the city is a jerk to them for no other reason than the city ponies are bad and Ponyville ponies are nice. The mare gives up a career playing for the royal court, making any job she gets a downgrade. This life altering decision is made in a single afternoon, and explored in exactly one paragraph. The entire thing looks at people as completely one dimensional figures who have set mindsets and never have to struggle with them. Maybe that's the point and the story just isn't for me? With three likes I guess I'm in the minority on that one...
Loving it so far, but you tend to use to many periods. Can't wait to read the next chapter!
Also
i.imgur.com/4CWNc.jpg
I MISSED FIRST POST FUCK
1147579
I'm sorry, I could delete my post and move it if you'd like, then that picture of you getting the first post would be fixed?
1147594
Don't I have lost this battle. I shall take my defeat.
Not a bad start. Took one instance from Sweet and Elite and expanded upon it.
1147569 its not exactly like the show gave any more depth to the situation either.
1147643
I like the show specifically because it has more depth to things. Characters are treated as complex individuals with strengths and weaknesses. The entire episode "Sweet and Elite" was about Rarity having to decide between doing something for her friend and being accepted by high society. Then she fails and goes against her friends, failing to make Twilight's dress in time, and you can visibly see the struggle hurts her. This on the other hand is making a major life altering decision, giving up the entire life she knows, because a few people in the city she doesn't know are jerks.
1147681 i was refering more so to the whole thing about canterlot being filled with stuck up jerks. the show does basically show that the few times we do see interaction with nonbackground canterlot ponies(excluding fancy pants).
1147703 I'll give you that. But like I said, it wasn't bad, just childish. It's not like the show doing something automatically makes it good. There's a story I read on here about Prince Blueblood reliving the same day over for an eternity. Prince Blueblood is probably the most stuck up pony of them all (imho). But that story took a one dimensional character from the show and fleshed him out as a character. It took something childish and made it interesting. This took something childish and did more of the same.
1147569
It only seems to be sudden to Octavia. This is written from the complete point of view of Octavia. This had been going on for quite some time but Octavia had no idea about it. She had heard of Ponyville but had never seen a Ponyville pony except at the Grand Galloping Gala. However Octavia eventually forgot about that instance on her own accord. In later chapters, I'll try to not make Octavia look like a one dimensional being. Nor will I make Vinyl a one dimensional being. Vinyl is coming soon. Thank you for giving feedback along with your constructive criticism.
This sound interesting, tracking.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!EXCELENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love me some Vinyl x Octavia
1160985
I guess I should have explained that she had no friends and had no family since her parents were dead and had no siblings or anypony else to turn to.
1165217 that would have been usefull
Love it! I can't wait for more. Mostly can't wait for Vinyl to show up.
1203632
Just keep waiting. Vinyl will show up soon. I would say why i added Roseluck, but that would probably lead to spoilers.
1217369
More to come soon. I gotta send my chapter to my editor to get it revised so that I will be better than the other chapters.
You are in a desperate need of an editor. Oh pick me! Pick me!
Cause story wise, this is great, but mistakes drive away lots of people... I personally don't give a buck, but if you want more views you should look out. Or I could be your editor, P.M me if you want to!
Great story, nice chapter.
1277769
Right. In this case. Vinyl was obviously being serious. I don't really know why. But I felt like making Vinyl a stoner. Octavia isn't gonna try and stop her or anything seeing as how it's not unusual to see someone smoking unusual in this day and age. However, Octavia does detest smoking but tries to get used to it.
1287720
Why thank you.