Brony form Northern Ireland. Think that kinda says it all really. For now at least
Octavia is glad to get home. Its been one bad audition after another. So when she finally thinks she can have a rest and try to get things back on track her world starts to crumble. LITERALLY. Can octavia get her life back on track? Can she rebuild what was broken? and most importantly can the pony who knocked her down build her back up?
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This story is riddled with grammatical errors.
The most prominent are the lack of capitalization of the first letter of proper nouns like names of ponies.
You also forget to capitalize lone I's and put in quotation marks, apostrophes, and commas.
Also, I would suggest putting Octavia's thoughts in italics, not quotation marks, to prevent the misconception that she's talking to herself.
Apart from disregard for basic grammar, the idea does seem interesting enough, but I can't read a story with so many glaring errors in it. The Grammar Nazi in me won't tolerate it.
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That seems fair enough to me. Thanks for the feedback.
Well I tried to incorporate the changes you suggested into the story. (Really liked the italics idea. Can't believe I didn't think of it) But it seems FiM won't let me edit it. I hope you keep reading as I need someone to shout at me for all these silly mistakes I make. Ah well thats what I get for trying to write a story at half four in the morning. Thanks again for the feedback
It does seem like a good idea, I'm sorry but I just can't read it.
If there weren't any errors, I'd say this was a nice start to a story.
I'll have to agree with the gentleman at the top on this one. But I must say, I love the vocabulary. :3 I'm presuming that you're British, because I don't really know all the facts.
But seeing as that I myself am American, I don't often see your form of the queen's English too often here. o3o. I think it adds that higher air of sophistication to Octavia, and it may be better to attempt an American accent for Vinyl. Also, thank you for checking out my story. ^^