On her deathbed Princess Celestia tells Twilight Sparkle the story of the country that came before Equestria, Athelta, the land of the Alicorns
Author note: Okay, so i missed the deadline for NaPoWriMonth, but i'm still going to finish the story. To the couple of people who care, don't worry, it'll get done.
Chapter One has been edited for both Grammer problems, and a couple story points that i didnt like and thought needed changing.
Edits are done on Chapter Three, i feel much better about it now.
Chapters (12)
Nice work so far. Nicely written.
3917
why that you, theres a lot more to come
hmm... okay, i'm interested
. Greathoof is a pretty cool villain.
18639
Wow, another comment. Finally.
Yeah, Greathoof is fun to write so i'm glad to hear that he's turning out okay. Thanks for reading!
I like it. Its a refreshing new look at life before twilight and the others... back when Celestia was married :D
23796 :3 well i always wondered what she did before equestria, and i like the idea that she isnt a goddess but just part of a more powerful race. I'm glad to hear that you like it
Soo...time for your monthly comment? It is a little strange that you've only gotten comments from three people on this story. Oh, I just noticed you're the same author as the Life in a Slower Lane story, which I also read...funny that it's less than 1/2 as long, yet has like 50x the comments. I guess that's what happens when you write about all canon characters compared to a story with mostly OCs. People just don't know what to say about new characters, or something. I like origin stories, though.
It's hard to imagine this story will have a very happy ending, considering that there's seemingly only going to be two survivors on the alicorn side. Unless that's what the flame orb thing is for, hmm...
Anyway, now that Treeflame is with the main heroes, they should totally send Greathoof a note asking if his refrigerator is running.
58719
I'm glad to see somepony took the time to read through this old thing. I haven't updated in a while, but getting a new comment is just the thing I needed to sit down and work on chapter 11 some more.
What? Is it monthly comment time already?
As for the ending? Well, it wont be happy, not really, but you can already see that coming. I do have a twist planned so be ready for it (whenever I get around to it
)
thanks for actually commenting though, it has been a little weird that Slower Lane has gotten more attention, but what're you gonna do?
58732
Sorry, couldn't resist.
But yeah, I still say it'd be hilarious if they sent Greathoof some prank messages through Treeflame...
"Is your refrigerator running?" "Yes..." "Well so is your fax machine!"
"Greathoof, sir, I regret to inform you that General Vice has defected to the griffin nation after a chance encounter with Voltag led to a rather unorthodox...'sword fight' in his private tent."
"Oooohhh! We were supposed to be actually fighting the griffins all this time? I thought this was just a role-playing story to warm up for the real thing."
"I'm sorry. The dragon you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have received this message in error, please check your magic and try again."
58823
I lol'd really hard.
It woke up my cat.
it's not THAT bad, though if this is your worst I can't wait to read the rest
In response to your complaint of lack of comments: comment.
An enjoyable story thus far. You did a good job of inventing the backstory for the series.
Keep up the good work.
Compared to your other story, I have noticed this isn't getting a lot of attention. Why?
I have good expectations for this, and for you yourself, keep up the good work, and hopefully you will get better recognition!
When are you going to continue this this is a good story!
119017
Uhh... When i finally finish writing the next chapter?
Oh I thoguht you were done writing this and putting the next one into a new story.
Seriously?! That was supposed to be BAD?!
Interesting.
Very interesting.
I love the story so far. It's really nice that Luna is the main character here while most fanfics tend to concentrate on Celestia.
Ooooch...
I think I can see where it is going. I hope I ma right because this would be SO COOL!
This Greathoof must be quite funny in his head. I really hope that Luna and the others will reach Scar in time... But they probably don't. If they did, the future number of Alicon population woundn't be reduced to two.
"Flame Orb"? That cannot be good...
Wow, the story gets only better and better. I just can't wait to see next chapter.
I don't see any mistakes but I am not a native speaker so I probably couldn't see even an elephant if it was there. (There wasn't any, was it?
) I am really sorry for being such useless reader. I really wish I could write smart and helpful comments. 
I have a question. Is Treeflame only an episodic character or has she a bigger role to play? I hope she has because I really like her.
YAY, Treeflame!
This chapter was a little bit hard to read because of centered text, however, I love it anyway!
How is the writing going?
212191
Your comments are VERY helpful. I'm out of town right now, but your love is making me want to write some more.
In another comment, you asked how the writing is going, and chapter 11 is at 1300 words.
212686
I'm speechless out of happiness.
aight juy you read mine, so ill read yours. Im only here right now and ive found at most 2 or 3 simple grammar mistakes such as spelling. Bwahahaha i feel good pointing out mistakes knowing that i suck at writing!
Flame orb. Im guessing it has something to do with fire
cliff is clearly RD of the griffon race
comment
hrm. that is all. and why is twilight a main character, she only appears once
I think I have found one imperfection. Near the beggining, in sentence: "Luna knew very little about this dragon". I believe button "space" was pressed once too much.
You know, I hadnt checked this in a long time. Its one story that I feally love. Do you see this continuing... its been a very long time, and i hope this story hasnt died...
The author's note is not in the intended box and there are some typos in the description (although the lack of said boxed note might have to do with when this was published) but otherwise this doesn't seem bad.