• Published 17th Jan 2012
  • 7,035 Views, 174 Comments

Displaced - LeafBug



Ultimately, fitting in is the key to survival in any society.

  • ...
11
 174
 7,035

Playing Detective

The trip back to Ponyville's massive hollowed-out tree of a library was short; however, it was enough time for Albus to come to the decision that there was little he could do even if someone was influencing his mind.

At least, not without proof.

The seeds of doubt had planted in his mind, and he felt no need to discard them. Upon landing outside of the door of Twilight's abode, he came to the conclusion that he would not trust any of the ponies any further than he already had; at least until he had figured out what had done this to him.

Normally he wasn't so paranoid, but he felt violated; the sanctity of his mind having been trod upon by the invasion of another. It's not something that one can fathom without experiencing it themselves, to know that your mind isn't safe from intrusion anymore.

Of course, there was a problem. If someone had indeed been inside of his head, they no doubt knew of his suspicion by now. He would need to be wary.

These were his thoughts as he entered the tree-dwelling, and as the foyer came into view, he was intrigued by the sight of Twilight poring over a book.

“What's that you're reading, Twilight?” he asked, brow cocked in curiosity.

She looked up with a noticeable start, putting her hoof over chest as if to stave off a heart attack before saying, “Goodness, Albus! I didn't hear you come in...”

She took a moment to catch her breath before actually answering with, “As for the book, it's a... curiosity, if you will. Nothing important.”

Albus noted that after saying this she levitated the book high onto a bookshelf, well out of reach without a ladder.

Or wings, he added mentally, but then discarded the idea after a moment's thought; trying to fly in a library was a recipe for disaster.

“Right...” he said after another moment, “Say, Twilight, you wouldn't happen to know anything about menta-”

He was cut off by Spike coming into the room, saying, “Hey Twi, I feel a-” at this, Spike was cut off as well by... himself. Namely in the form of a rather loud belch; expelling green flames from his mouth at the same time.

Curiously, those flames materialized into a scroll. Other than the fact that it had just appeared out of thin air, there was only one defining characteristic of the scroll; specifically the red ribbon it was tied with, complete with a gold seal emblazoned with what could have been a capital C or a horseshoe. Albus wasn't sure which.

“-letter coming on,” Spike finished, albeit a bit late.

As Albus was about to ask just what the hell just happened, Twilight grabbed the letter via magic and opened it expediently. Her eyes widened for a moment as she quickly read the contents of the scroll, and she glanced at Albus for the briefest of moments before the letter burst into flames once more, the ashes still in Twilight's grasp.

Albus raised a claw and opened his beak to say something, but couldn't quite find the words for how confused he was right now.

Eventually, he settled for a simple, “What was that?”

Spike answered with, “Oh, that was a letter from the princess! I dunno why it burnt up like that though...”

“Wait wait wait, go back,” Albus said, even more confused, “A letter from the princess?”

After a second he also added, “Which one?”

Twilight beamed at this, and seemed to puff out her chest a bit before saying, “Well, Albus, I happen to be Princess Celestia's protégée. As such, occasionally I receive letters from her; as well as sending her a friendship report every time I learn something new abo-”

Albus cut her off there, “Wait, what? Sorry, but... what? You have a direct line to Princess Celestia?”

If that's true... hmm... This could be useful. If anyone would know about how I got here, it would be one of the Immortal-Goddess-Ruler... people. Regardless, I have more important things to take care of right now.

With that, he filed 'Twilight Sparkle is Princess Celestia's student' under 'Possible Leads' in his mind. Sadly, that category seemed to be rather empty.

He tuned back in to the real world just in time to hear Twilight say, “...and then she asked me if I wanted to be her student!”

Both Spike and Albus winced at the volume of Twilight's ensuing fan-girl squeal.

Clearing his throat, the gryphon of the group said, “Well, that's certainly interesting, Twilight. But, I do want to know something specific, if you don't mind. Maybe you have a book on it somewhere?”

At that, Twilight smiled amiably before saying, “Of course, Albus. What did you have in mind?”

I might be overly suspicious, but your reactions are just too perfect. I doubt you're a good liar, so let's see how you respond to...

Smiling back politely, Albus asked, “Do you have anything on the subject of spells that affect the mind? Specifically where the caster would affect another person?”

Twilight's face went curiously blank at this, though after a moment she gave a strange smile and said, “I'm afraid we don't have anything to do with that in stock at the library, Albus.”

“But Twi, what ab-” Spike's question was quickly cut off by his mouth literally turning into a closed zipper.

Albus looked at Spike – who was now scratching at the zipper, trying to make it go away – and then looked at Twilight.

Putting on his best impersonation of a loan shark's sickly sweet smile, Albus sauntered over to Twilight, quite intentionally invading her personal bubble. Circling her much like the predator he is, he continued in a low, rumbling voice, “Oh, Twilight... But, surely one a learned as yourself would know about these things... hmm? Certainly the princess' personal protégée would be knowledgeable about a trifling matter such as this, no?”

At that, he stopped in front of her and lifted her chin with his claw, staring straight into her eyes. His expression, while now seemingly impassive, held many a concealed threat and morbid promise; he narrowed his eyes slightly as he felt her shudder.

He didn't want to have to resort to intimidation, but it was the best way he could think of to get what he wanted.

Of course, it was a risky gambit.

If she didn't know, or if she stopped to think that if something happened to her, then she had one of the rulers of a country as a lifeline... well, Albus' goose was cooked.

He wouldn't let her think, though. He couldn't. The purpose of his actions was to scare her into confessing what she knew; what she knew, he wasn't certain, but he needed her knowledge.

“I... I- uh... I mean...” she stuttered, a blush playing across her face.

Wait... what?!? You don't blush when you're scared! Why the hell are you-...

Hmm...

Albus took a quick note of the situation; he was right in her face – some three inches of space between his beak and her nose... snout... muzzle thing –, he had just complimented her, and though he had meant it in a threatening manner, she evidently didn't take it that way...

And he had his talon under her chin, pushing her face up as if to...

Oh. Oh...

I can use this...

Clearly his intimidation tactics were lacking, but maybe, just maybe, he could... seduce her, or something.

He stopped to think about that.

Seduce a pony. For information, yes, but... seducing a pony. That's... eww. It's not like they're bad looking or anything, but it's just... weird.

Whatever, she's reacting to it, I need to keep it up.

Changing his approach, he let a small, sultry smile grace his features before pulling away slightly, removing his claw from under her head. Curiously enough, her head remained in the same position.

He was momentarily distracted by Spike making gagging noises behind his zipper-mouth before trudging upstairs, shooting them a disgusted glare on the way up; but Albus payed the event no more heed than a moment's amused thought.

Keeping up the façade, he circled her once more, 'accidentally' brushing her with his wingtip every so often.

He felt a certain level of satisfaction when he saw her shiver once more, her blush intensifying.

Putting his face side to side with hers, he whispered huskily, “I'm your... friend, aren't I, Twi? You wouldn't keep anything from a friend, would you...?”

Once again she stuttered incomprehensibly in reply, “I- you, I'm- I don't-”

“Shh, Twi... Why don't you just... confide in me what's bothering you?” he interrupted her, trying to keep her frazzled.

Her only immediate response was to chew on her bottom lip in a very human-like fashion, letting out a small 'Nnnng...' sound.

Suddenly, however, it all came out. Like a waterfall. Or Pinkie Pie.

“I'm so sorry but Celestia told me to keep an eye on you and I didn't know why because it was strange for her to take interest in some random person who just showed up out of nowhere and so I decided to look at your memories and-”

Albus couldn't really focus on Twilight's ridiculous run-on sentence at that point. The implications of her statement slapped him in the face.

She knew. Celestia knew. Hell, Celestia probably knew from the start. Among other things.

I... what... But.... shit. Well, she knows. They both do. And now if they tell anyone I'll probably hunted down and dissected... no, wait, a leader of the nation knows, if that was going to happen it would have already. But still. Twilight evidently can't keep a secret, if she tells anyone then... I don't know. I'll at least be a pariah, that's for sure. And I can't live without society, I'm damn sure of that. It would be the word of Celestia's protégée against mine, and that wouldn't turn out well for me...

And Twilight... Oh, god DAMN it! Way to go, dumb ass, you've given her a reason to spite you! You just played off of the insecure librarian's... insecurities! Fuck, FUCK, FUCK!

The current state of the library's lobby was this; a shell-shocked Albus thinking of one worst-case scenario after another, and Twilight sobbing on the floor apologizing to him without even knowing that he couldn't really hear her at the moment.

But other than that, it was pretty much immaculate.

After roughly five minutes of this, however, Twilight stopped her apologies and noticed Albus' condition. Namely, the fact that he wasn't moving. Or outwardly doing anything other than breathing.

Staring at him for a moment to see if he would do anything, Twilight frowned when he did just the opposite.

“Um... Albus?” she asked hesitantly, pausing to sniffle, not quite over her little sobbing spree.

After a moment of him still not responding, she poked him in the chest, asking, “Hey, are you alright?” a little bit more confidently, a look of concern on her face.

A few seconds after this, he turned to look at her. It's safe to say that Twilight was a bit creeped out by him staring at her with absolutely no expression, but he surprised her by starting with, “So, Twilight...” before trailing off.

“Erm... Yes?” was the only reply she could think to give.

After a pause, Albus asked with a perfectly straight face, “Am I really that attractive? I can't tell.”

Twilight opened her mouth to respond, but all that came out was a squeak as she registered what exactly he had just asked.

Giving a smile that barely lasted a moment, Albus filled in for her with, “You don't have to answer that.”

Continuing his role of the only one participating in conversation, he continued by sighing heavily before asking, “So, Twilight. What happens now? What is your opinion of me now that you know what I am and where I came from?”

Frowning, Twilight finally managed to get a word in edgewise, “I can't say that my opinion of you has changed, Albus. In fact, I think you've done remarkably well with the cards you have been dealt.”

That... wasn't what I was expecting.

“So...” he began, trying to find the right words, “You're not mad at me for trying to...?” he trailed off, knowing she would get the gist of his question.

She surprised him once more by visibly deflating, saying, “I can't really judge you for anything you do to me, you know. Not after what I did...”

Being reminded of the violation of his mind set off a flare of anger in Albus' mind, but it quickly faded. It was much different to be angry at some malevolent puppet master pulling at the strings of your mind than to be angry at...

He looked her over. All he could see was the small purple librarian pony, hanging her head in shame, ears folded back, eyes downcast.

It's an image hard to be mad at, but that didn't mean it excused her for her actions.

Giving a frown of his own, he responded with, “Yes, well. I can't say that I'm particularly happy with what you've done, Twilight. Are you aware of the side-effects that your little foray into my psyche had?”

She quickly looked up at him, a panicked expression on her face, “Side-effects!? Oh no, I didn't erase some of your memories or make you un-learn something or-”

He cut her off by gently placing a claw against her small muzzle, saying, “Enough.”

She flinched back from his touch before looking off to the side, “Sorry...”

Damn it Twilight, you're making this hard...

He was unhappy with her, but he was getting the urge to hug her and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

Confound these ponies. Damn cuteness and overlarge eyes and-... did I just call them cute?

Placing that train of thought off to the side for the moment, he continued with, “Obviously you weren't made aware of that, so I'm not necessarily going to blame you for it. But... I have a question for you.”

The purple unicorn feebly met his gaze, head still lowered. It was probably as much of a go-ahead as he was going to get, so he asked, “Are you truly, genuinely repentant for what you've done in my head?”

She replied with a simple nod of her head.

“Then I accept your apology,” he said, but quickly continued with, “But, that does not mean that I forgive you. Not yet. I will forgive you on one term, and one term only.”

This wasn't strictly true, but she didn't have to know that. Regardless of that fact, she nodded her head emphatically, eyes slightly wider with hope.

He studied her for a moment more, pausing for what he hoped was dramatic effect.

Finally, he let her know what would gain his trust once more:

“I want an audience with Princess Celestia.”

Author's Note:

Holy Mood-Swings, Batman!

If this chapter seems a bit rushed... it's because it kinda sorta is.
This is what happens when I write through writer's block and it gets better about halfway through.

I did, however, Pinkie Promise that I would post today. And, as such, I endeavored to do so. Regardless of how it may have turned out...

Just something I've wanted to say since I started that scene (you'll know which one):

ALBUS THE INCUBUS, WHAT WHAT

Ahem.
Comments? Questions? Coupons?

(By the way, I have a perfectly good explanation for why Twilight spilled the beans the way she did, under the circumstances that she did. I won't go into that right now, though.)

Comments ( 80 )

293498
Quite a bit more rushed, really...

Well, if you say so. I'll send it out for the rest of the world then.

...in just a sec. I need to make sure everything's as good as it's going to get...

Hey, you kept your Pinkie Promise! :pinkiehappy:

*puts sickle away*:pinkiecrazy:

293585
NOPONY BREAKS A PINKIE PROMISE

FUCK DAMN IT BBCODE WHY WILL YOU WORK FOR SOME COMMENTS BUT NOT OTHERS FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

over 2000 words is not exactly short and yes it felt a bit rushed but its by no means bad. Do I smell hippogryphs in the future?!? eh prob not...

293619
"Do I smell hippogryphs in the future?!?"

I literally just almost fell out of my chair laughing at that. Thank you. :rainbowlaugh:

awesome chapter. lucky it was short! onto homework!

I love this story, so keep it coming.

293774
I second that motion.

i like it
albus seems more eh human than other human in equestria stories.

Well, I was going to just write “MOAR” and be done with it, just to be a troll, but my conscience wouldn’t allow me to write anything less than a giant wall of text, so forgive me if I get a bit too wordy.

To start off with, at the end of this chapter you said that you felt that this chapter was a little rushed, and some of your reviewers apparently agree which is fine, but I don’t really see where you’re coming from when you say that. The writing flows just as well as it always has and in fact I thought the fast tone was pretty fitting for Albus’ state of mind. It made everything seem a bit more desperate to me and I thought that you did a nice job using that to enhance his obvious panic with finding out that someone (or multiple people maybe?) has been messing with his head and violating his privacy in a very, very intimate way.

Speaking of which, it also didn’t really strike me as him having mood swings as you referred to them as much as it did that he was just so confused and shaken and scared that he was literally willing to do anything he needed to in order to find answers, including threatening Twilight and using her own emotions against her. It’s also not as if he had any reason to trust her after seeing that she was obviously lying to him (both because of Spike blurting out things and by her own tells) which makes the lengths he went to even more reasonable.

Twilight’s reaction to being pushed was also pretty in character I felt, especially when she started crying. She’s very socially awkward, which explains her embarrassment to having someone she only kind of knows all up in her personal space in the first part, but she’s also has very high morals and cares deeply for those she comes to think of as friends or potential friends. Being asked to do something she obviously knew was wrong probably ate at her conscious but she was likely able to hide for so long because he didn’t know (a “what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him” kind of deal). However, when Albus confronted her about mental manipulation she probably assumed that he had found her out and as such it seems pretty natural to me that the guilt she was feeling over even preforming such an act in the first place reached its tipping point, thus explaining her tearful apology.

As a side note, I’d also like to point out that Spike was completely adorable and, I felt, very in character. Being that he’s my favorite FiM character, I have high standards for how people write him but I think you did a marvelous job using him as both to both dispel a little of the tension and to help bring some life to the surroundings. Of course, you do a good job of using background characters to help flesh out the scene anyway, something I feel a lot of fanfiction writers tend to overlook, especially when they’re first starting out.

Getting back on track, I wanted to take a moment to comment on your overall writing and not just this chapter because after reading through this all in one go I could tell how much you’ve grown as a writer in such a short time. You’ve only been writing since January but I can really see where you started to gain more confidence with your skills and characterizations and it’s definitely enhanced the story quality even in these so called “rushed” chapters (even though the beginning chapters weren’t what you’d call bad either, haha).
The only advice I could really give you to improve things is to not be afraid to experiment a little (it doesn’t necessarily have to be in this particular fic, just in your general writing) so that you’re not always preforming the same things over and over, which is the downfall of many writers (myself included). This may also help with any writer’s blocks you happen to get. Other than that though, you seem to be doing a good job working through things yourself.

All in all, I’m really enjoying the story so far and think that you do a good job in allowing the reader to become invested in Albus, especially when you allow him to show a wide range of emotions. I’m definitely interested in where this is going too, and think the plot you’ve set up has the potential to go to some really great places. Albus is a great character and is certainly more interesting than a lot of original characters in fanfiction that I happen to read, so congratulations there.

To end this overly verbose review however, I feel that I must add one finally thing and say this: "MOR3 >:]"

296520
Y0UR PR41S3 H4S B33N T4K3N UND3R C0NSID3R4T10N, S1GHTL3SS 0N3

Holy Nippon, Batman! It's Review-Zilla!

I think you're going to make the other commenters jealous, dearie; I mean, your is so much bigger than the rest...

Stupid comments aside, I thank you heartily for going out of your way to write such a comprehensive and well thought out review of my humble fanfic. Even if I asked you to do it.

I need more overly verbose reviews, they make me happy.

The reason I don't write a wall of text of my own is, 1. Because I'm writing the story and that should be enough for you, and 2. I can make my opinions known through more convenient means. Still appreciated though.

296576
EEEEEEEEVAAAAAAAAAAA

296610
Do not spam in my comments, regardless of how much I love They Might Be Giants.

This is your only warning, do so again and your comments will be deleted and you will be blocked.

On another note, I could easily beat that. All I would have to do is copy and paste Pi. Or hold down a button on my keyboard for five minutes.

296582 Well I was planning on writing you one of this length anyway, even if you hadn't asked, because that's simply how I review things. This probably explains why I rarely comment unless I particularly like a story. Furthermore, it was I who offered to write out an in depth explanation for what I had told you earlier, so don't be acting like I only did it to make you look good, because that certainly isn't the case at all. Everything I said in my previous comment is 100% true and my very honest opinion and I really did feel that you deserved to know exactly how I felt you were doing.

Also, her o's are just o's, not 0's. >;]

296725
L13S
Whatever.

Anyway, for the sake of not appearing to be an assbag and having a public response, I will say thank you once more for the review.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to put this up on FF.net because I still haven't...

296636 lol dude, It's already been deleted by me.

Chill.

Unlike the sun, which is a mass...

Oops, silly me.
:trollestia:

296988
You seem to think that matters to me. That was and is your only warning, I will not tolerate spam on my story; regardless of whether or not it was serious.

Also, the sun is obviously a mass, and therefore can't be deleted. Duh. :derpytongue2:

But seriously, don't do it again.

300930
Yes, well, Albus is one sexy beast (apparently), so it may or may not happen.

The more I think about it, the more I think I might go for it. It has yet to be decided though.

300942
the more you see it the more you think about it, and i quote,"The more I think about it, the more I think I might go for it."
Fluttervires
Fluttervires
FLUTTERVIRES
FLUTTERVIRES!
FLUTTERVIRES!
FLUTTERVIRES!!!!!:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

300962
And I quote, "It has yet to be decided though."

Though your enthusiasm is certainly appreciated and very welcome, it will happen if it happens. Allow the story to roll and I will come to that subject in time. Let relationships develop before pushing them.

Plus, I don't want it to be rushed. If I was to write a romance, it would be a lengthy process; not,
"Oh hello strange new alien being whom I know nothing about!"
*2 days later*
"Oh I love you but we're different species than each other ANGST ANGST ANGST"
*another 2 days later*
"I no longer care about our differences! What? You don't either? Let's move in together and instantly be ready to settle down and have a family and fuck each other every other chapter because the readers like clop!"


Yeah, no.

300989
I don't like it rushed either, but i still loves me some romance.:twilightsmile:
I felt it was rushed during My Second Life when he had a threesome three moths after he arrived.:rainbowhuh:

301017
Don't get me started on 'My Second Life'.

I like the story, and the premise, and CoalBuck is a rather good writer in his own right; his romance isn't bad, per se, but it certainly was a bit rushed for the lengths it went to. A bit as in a whole shitload.

Regardless. Flutter/Rainbow/TwilightVires may or may not happen. Patience, dear reader.

301040
HHHHHNNNNNNNGGGG!
sorry, my instincts for yelling 'Moar' and 'Nao' are acting up.
HHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

293619
took me a while to remember what a hippogryph was.:rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh::rainbowkiss:

Please, please, please no romance! It's the last thing this story needs. Really.

306445
As of yet, you're outvoted, champ.

That does not, however, mean that it'll happen.

I'll tell you the same thing I tell everpony else; if it happens, it happens. Just go with it, and if the story progresses to include that, then it will. If not, then... not.

C'est la vie.
To make a bad pun......
If it fits, it ships. (for a low flat rate.... argggggggggggg)

If there is rromance. NO SEX SCENES! that would be kind of weird.

"Holy mood-swings, Batman!"
You took the words out of my mouth.
..er... off my keyboard... uh...
You know what I mean.

sooooo... she knows. she knows. wait.... how MUCH does she know. Just a quick peek or the whole shabang.

"I wanna know, can you show me
I wanna know about these
ponies like me"

522464
The answer to this will come eventually, I actually have something for that planned out.

521605
Derp derp derp. :derpyderp2:
I'll fix that now.

I read this story and am hooked!:pinkiehappy: I hope you plan to continue this soon.

Ah. I must say that I quite like it. It is a bit different from the norm, in a very good way.

I like how you didn't immediately give him control of his body and the like. Having a learning curve is always a good way to make a story like this interesting.

I like how the character is a gentleman, but can also be an ass in the proper situation. His character is quite interesting and it is a delight to see how he experiences Equestria from a different viewpoint to most HiE's.

It's going to be interesting to see where you take this.

965254
I'm honestly surprised none of the newer readers have compared this story to Griffin the Griffin yet.
Though I made this fic about a month before BlackWIng published his...

Anyway, thank you for your praise, it is very appreciated; and thank you for my 100th comment! :pinkiehappy: [insert confetti here]


Though it might be a while before I update next, do know that I'm working on it now and do not intend to abandon the story at any point. <--- (directed at all my readers)
It's always good to know that even though I haven't updated in some time, my story's still getting readers and favourites. Though I wonder how you people even find it in the first place... :derpyderp1:

965292
Well, to be honest the only thing this has in common with Griffin The Griffin is that the character is a Griffin. Griffin Griffin Griffin (for good measure)

And there isn't a lot else that is comparable. Honestly your story is better, if only by the fact that it is a lot deeper and follows a much different narrative and story-curve. His story is pretty much of the short conflict and quick resolution kind, and beyond the main storyline there isn't really all that much that goes into it. With very few changes his story could have been a normal human one without any ties to FiM.

Your story, on the other hand, relies very much on the show and it's characters, as well as delving way deeper into things. A lot of the 'headcanon' is interesting, mostly because it's based in hard facts and not conjecture. That is what makes your story quite good. To be honest I would have expected a bit more reaction on his looks, but I have no idea how common albino griffons are, and ponies probably wouldn't care as much as humans would.

Anyhow, as long as you continue to write, I'll be a happy man :3

965292
And well. I kinda tend to browse the Human section and pick out anything I find interesting.

Which has led me to having over 17million words read on this page... I have no life...

965333
Oh, I realize the absolute legion of differences between my gryphon and his Griffin (c what i did thar), but people seem to enjoy comparing things based on appearances. I find it's only a matter of time before somebody accuses me of ripping BlackWing off. And sweet Celestia their verbal lashing will be brutal and efficient under my Wit o' nine tails.

While I agree with your points, I don't think that commenting on Griffin the Griffin or the Chess Game of the Gods universe in general is very productive, and though I do believe that it's a good idea, my comments on most of the stories' executions are... well, I'm not going to comment on them publicly. Let's leave it at that.

To answer your sort-of implied-question(s), albinos in any species (unless said species has no pigmentation to begin with, in which case the point is moot) are pretty damn rare. If I had to comment on the ponies' reactions (or lack thereof), I would just say it's because they aren't exactly familiar with gryphons in general. And because pointing out genetic defects is kind of a no-no in polite society.
Though, I doubt it'll be addressed in detail in the story.

965356
I do that too, though I have a pretty selective reading material filter.
So yeah, only about 8 million words here. :rainbowwild:

965401
I'll join in on the lashing. Accusations about ripping off someone based on just the characters appearance/species would be totally ridiculous...

Most of the stories in the Chess Game of The Gods universe have an interesting start, but as soon as the authors realize the constrictions placed upon that kind of story it seems to just peter out and become bland. Some are good, but most are... as you said, not to be commented on publicly.

On the albino thing, I was thinking more along the lines of Dash thinking that he looks awesome or something of the like. Gryphons seem to have a rather uniform coloring with exception to the eye stuff, as far as I know, at least compared to the utter chaos that is the ponies. Frankly it is just an interesting detail, and as it is a part of the story it shouldn't be ignored. At least I can see Blueblood, if he appears, comment on it. And maybe Rarity mentioning the stunning quality of his white plumage. Eh, it's up to you, but I find it interesting to read.

My reading material filter has degraded heavily over the year... Seriously, some of the things I've read, gah, I shudder. It doesn't help that I find stories with both 'Romance' and 'Human' tags most interesting, those things go from some of the best I've ever read to some of the most horrible contrived crap that has ever touched the internet.

i would like MOAR PLZ

980057
Yay! :yay:

I look forward to further comments on the matter, though I would ask you refrain from bringing down other fics in my comments section from now on (I kind of do that myself sometimes, but it's just disrespectful).

Of course, you're welcome to send me a PM containing all of your complaints about other fics, ficverses, headcanons, etc.
Though I encourage you to keep it to a respectable level, if you do. :twilightsheepish:

Thanks for writing a great story! I do hope to see more of it sometime.

1071124
Wait... just now?

I remember you commenting on this story months ago... :rainbowhuh:

1071553
Finished it then, read it again now. Hence "reread".
Finish this, goddamnit. This story is amazing.

1071586
Oh, herp derp derp.

Saw the "read", but not the "re".

And I'm working on it. It'll be a while yet before I upload again, though.

oooh author! Could u make Albus slap celly? xD

1632283
Unlikely.

I doubt he'll be very friendly with her, though.

1633427 aawwww D:

...

Oh well, atleast make twilight's expression priceless when(if?) he insults her:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:


...pwease?:fluttercry::fluttercry::applecry:

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