Verse 5 - A New Path
"Iiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Diamond Tiara screamed, as her father slammed against the door one last time, shattering the door jamb as he burst into her bedroom. He scanned the room, looking for some threat to his daughter, some monster that might explain her screaming, but found nothing more than his daughter clenching the sheets.
"There, there, princess. It is okay. It was only a bad dream," Filthy Rich said, embracing his daughter. He rocked her gently, holding her while she sobbed on his shoulder, until at last she calmed down.
Softly, she brushed her hooves along her body. "I'm alive. Unchained. There's time," Diamond Tiara whispered.
"Want to tell me what the nightmare was about, munchkin?" her father coaxed.
"It wasn't a nightmare, daddy. Well, part of it was the Nightmare, but that doesn't matter," Diamond Tiara said to her father. "There's time, daddy. I can change. I can be better. I can make friends."
She threw her forelegs around her father and gave him a quick squeeze. She rolled out of her bed and threw open the curtains by the window., letting the sunshine flood in. "Isn't it a wonderful day, daddy? Happy Hearth's Warming!"
She rushed over to the cabinet and gave her mane a quick brushing, before dashing out of the room, almost forgetting her tiara. Behind her, she left her perplexed father.
"Um, Tiara... when did you repaint your room?" he called after her.
Diamond Tiara skidded to halt. "No time to explain, daddy. Will tell you later though you'll never believe it anyway. Right now, got things that need doing. See you at the play. I'll make sure they save you a very special spot."
At the stairs, the stairs she had walked so many times that she barely even took notice of them anymore, she did not walk. Instead, she threw herself onto the railing and slid down, squealing with delight, much to the amazement of Praiseworthy. He too got an unexpected hug. At the door, she stopped just long enough to throw on a scarf, the most brightly colored one she could find, and she was off.
Down the streets of Ponyville she wandered. To every passerby she offered a greeting of "Happy Hearth's Warming!" She complimented them on their dress. She gave hugs. She even stopped to help a couple of foals make a snowpony.
Reaching her first destination, Diamond Tiara walked up the icy walkway and knocked on the door. The door creaked open, revealing Silver Spoon's mother, Silver Lining.
"Diamond Tiara. We haven't seen you since..." Her voice trailed off.
Diamond Tiara pulled Silver Lining close. "I miss her too. Everyday. I guess that's why I haven't been around here since then. I miss her too much. I'm sorry for that."
Silver Lining wiped away a tear from her eye and hugged Tiara back. The pair stood entwined in silence for a minute, before Silver Lining pulled away. Stepping aside, she said, "I'm sorry, where are my manners? Won't you please come in?"
Diamond Tiara entered, wiping her hooves on the mat.
"Sterling," Silver Lining called out, "We have a guest." She turned to Diamond Tiara and said, "We might have had a break in last night."
"Oh, was anything taken?" Diamond Tiara asked, trying to play innocent.
"I don't think so, just some things moved. LIke this picture, I could have sworn it was over where that one was before we went to bed last night," Sterling Silver answered.
"She probably just moved them last night before she went to bed and didn't remember," Sterling Silver said from the hall's doorway. "I don't think anyone was here, dear. Nothing seems to be missing at any rate. Why don't you invite our guest to the living room? I'll prepare some tea."
"He's probably right, I guess," Silver Lining said as she led Diamond Tiara to the living room, only to stop and point with a hoof. "Sterling!"
"What?" Sterling Silver said gruffly, sticking his head in from the kitchen.
"The package... Sil's gift..."
Diamond Tiara looked at the gift and stifled a gasp. The present Discord had been toying with was no longer cycling through patterns. It had settled on a single one. Quickly, she recovered her composure, hoping no one had noticed.
"What about it?" Sterling Silver asked, intent on the package.
"I always specify silver wrapping. That isn't silver wrapping," Silver Lining said.
"Maybe there was a mix up at the store?" Diamond Tiara suggested helpfully. Gears turned in her head and she had an idea, if she could just make it work. "As a matter of fact, I bet that was it. I think I know just who that is meant for. There's a filly in the play that was telling a story yesterday about a mix up. She probably has your gift. You should come meet her before the play and exchange it with her."
"We weren't planning on going. Don't have tickets or anything," Silver Lining said.
"Don't worry about. I'll arrange it. Consider it a Hearth's Warming Eve present from me," Diamond Tiara said, giving them her cutest, most irresistible look.
Silver Lining started to protest, but Diamond Tiara overrode her protestations. "No, it'll be no bother and I won't take no for an answer. As a matter of fact, I'm going to go take care of it right now."
Diamond Tiara backed out of the room and to the door, all the while overriding any objection the Silvers attempted to make. Once at the door, she browbeat the Silvers into committing to showing up, made it clear how happy she was that they were coming, and then quickly turned and fled the house, before they could think of some new objection.
Pleased with herself, Diamond Tiara found herself humming a Hearth's Eve carol as she pranced down the street, interrupting her humming only to wish ponies well. Those that didn't know her returned her greetings. Those that did were mostly too shocked to immediately reply, but this did not matter to Diamond Tiara.
At the box office, she merrily greeted Time Turner, who was working the box office. His teeth chattered as he replied in kind. She slapped down some bits and paid for a pair of tickets for the Silvers, placing them on will call. Then she raced inside, only to return shortly with a cup of hot chocolate and a blanket. "Wouldn't want the windigoes to get you," she joked, as the thankful stallion sipped the hot drink.
"Thanks!" Time Turner replied. "I'm feeling warmer already."
Another good deed accomplished, Diamond Tiara headed inside, greeting everyone she saw with a merry "Happy Hearth's Warming!" and getting shocked holiday greetings in return. She scrounged up some cardboard and a marker and made a pair of reserved signs. Those she placed upon the seats in the middle of the fifth row, after getting permission from Miss Cheerilee. Then, she talked to the ushers about who the seats were to be saved for.
With a satisfied nod, she returned backstage. She busied herself getting things ready, greeting her performers as they arrived, and always in good cheer. When the Silvers arrived, she asked them to wait off to the side, explaining that the pony in question had not arrived yet. She wound up returning a couple of more times, each time apologizing, saying that the filly should have arrived by now. Finally, Scootaloo entered, trying to sneak in, though without much luck thanks to the parent on either side of her.
Quick as a wink, Diamond Tiara accosted Scootaloo, before she had taken more than couple of steps inside. "You're late," Diamond Tiara accused, beckoning the Silvers over.
"I'm sorry," Scootaloo said from between her parents. "There was, um, things. And then we had to do stuff. And by then, it, well, we got here as fast as we could."
Diamond Tiara glared at Scootaloo for a moment longer, before she could no longer contain herself. She broke into a grin and hugged a dumbstruck Scootaloo. "Quite all right, no harm done. Now, here's some ponies who have been waiting to meet you. Mr. and Mrs. Silver, this is Scootaloo, the pony I was telling you about. Scootaloo, Mr. and Mrs. Silver. Sil's parents. I think they've got a little something for you."
"Ah, um, yes. I believe this is yours," Sterling Silver said, extending the present to Scootaloo.
Scootaloo stood puzzled as to why a pair of strangers were offering her a present until Diamond Tiara nudged her. Taking the present, Scootaloo examined it, the white paper decorated with red wheels, wheels with wings.
"See? It is meant for you, Scootaloo," Diamond Tiara coaxed. "Go ahead and open it."
Scootaloo looked at Diamond Tiara curiously. If it came to Diamond Tiara, it was usually a good idea to look a gift horse in the mouth, as far as Scootaloo was concerned. Still, with four adults, including her parents right here, if it was one of Diamond Tiara's pranks, she'd have a hard time getting away with it. And if it was not, well, the present was bigger than any of the small presents awaiting her at home.
Scootaloo looked at her parents. "Can I?" With her mom's nod of permission, she tore off the wrapping paper, revealing a cardboard box. Opening the lid, she gasped with joy, pulling out a helmet. Not the safety type of helm, but one in the style of the pegasi military of old, completely with a crest. The crest was not solid color, nor the color of Scootaloo's mane. Instead, it was all the colors of the rainbow. Scootaloo hastily tried on the helm, grinning happily.
Diamond Tiara was taken aback for a second. She had figured that the gift was meant for Scootaloo, but had not imagined that it would be this. Still, the events of last night had been strange enough that she had gotten used to recovering from shocks, and as far as shocks went, this one was fairly minor compared to those.
"That'll be perfect for tonight, don't you think? You'll be just like Rainbow Dash when she played Commander Hurricane. And speaking of that, you should go get on your costume. Plus there's a mirror in the dressing room..." Diamond Tiara said.
Scootaloo ceased trying to see her reflection on the door knob. She took a step, before her father cleared his throat. Blushing, she stopped, grabbed first Sterling Silver's hoof and shook it rapidly, and then repeated the process with Silver Lining, all the while spouting a non-stop stream of thank yous. That done, she tackle hugged both of her parents and once and raced off.
"Now then, Diamond, you said--" Silver Lining started, but Diamond Tiara cut her off.
"She sure looks happy, doesn't she? A perfect fit too. I bet it has been a while since you've seen that much joy," Diamond Tiara said to the adults, as she pushed them out the door. "And speaking of her, I think the four of you should have a talk about your daughters."
At the perplexed looks on the faces of the adults, she continued. "Trust me. Call it serendipity, call it luck, call it fate. Whatever. This is meant to be. Now, I've got to go, more things to take care of." With a solid click, the door shut. For good measure, Diamond Tiara locked it, leaving the adults no choice but start talking with each other about what just happened and what in the world she meant. The ball set in motion by the likes of Discord, of all beings, she had no doubt it would turn out fine.
Looking around the backstage area, Diamond Tiara set her sights on her next goal. That goal stood by the edge of the curtain, peeking out at the crowd. She walked over and peeked out as well.
"Sure are lots of them, huh, Sweetie Belle?" she asked.
"Ye-yeah," Sweetie Belle stuttered nervously.
"Relax, you'll do fine. You performed before a big crowd at the talent show, remember?" Diamond Tiara said.
"But I was just a stagehand for that," Sweetie Belle protested. "Scootaloo did most of the singing. This time everyone will be looking at me." She subconsciously tried to make herself smaller.
Diamond Tiara rubbed her chin with her hoof. She smiled and pulled Sweetie Belle close. "I got it. I read this in a magazine. What I want you to do, Sweetie, is imagine the audience clothed."
"Clothed?"
"Fully clothed. In your sister's silliest designs. Big feathers! Long scarves! Fancy hats!" Each item listed was embellished with an over the top gesture, the type Diamond Tiara knew Rarity was prone to making, drawing a giggle from Sweetie Belle.
"Okay, I'll give it a try," Sweetie Belle said, still sounding unsure of herself. She turned to assume her place on stage, but Diamond Tiara stopped her. She reached up and removed the cardboard crown from Sweetie Belle's head, tossing it aside.
"A princess needs a proper crown. I want you to wear this." Diamond Tiara said, as she took her tiara and placed it carefully on Sweetie Belle's head.
"Your tiara?" Sweetie Belle squeaked.
"Only the best for my Princess Platinum," Diamond Tiara said to the stunned Sweetie Belle. "Just for the show, of course. I'll be wanting it back afterwards. It was my grandmother's."
"I'll take good care of it, I promise. Not a scratch." Sweetie Belle bounced happily off toward her position.
"Not a scratch, right? You promise?" Tiara called after Sweetie Belle.
"Uh-huh," Sweetie replied.
Another item completed on her mental checklist, leaving just two things left to do. She reared her up on her rear legs and looked around the backstage area, but failed to find either of the two ponies she was looking for. She did draw the attention of Miss Cheerilee though, who walked over to her.
"Almost ready?" Miss Cheerilee asked. "It is almost time."
"Five more minutes. There's one more thing I need to take care of, then we'll be good to go," Diamond Tiara replied.
She dropped back down to all fours and went to the dressing room, where Twist was helping Apple Bloom into her costume.
"Oh no, this won't do. This won't do at all," Diamond Tiara said, shaking her head sadly.
"Ah'm sorry," Apple Bloom said, "but the costume just don't fit me right."
"Well then, we'll just have to, like, fix that won't we?" Diamond Tiara looked Apple Bloom over, then Twist. "I know, what if we have Twist play Smart Cookie and you be the announcer, Apple Bloom? Assuming you both still remember the lines?"
Both ponies' faces lit up and they cheered, but the cheer had barely begun before they turned toward Diamond Tiara with a suspicious look on their face.. "Yah really mean it?" Apple Bloom asked.
Diamond Tiara pretended to contemplate, before breaking into a smile. "Yes, I think I do. Swap costumes quickly now, before I change mind."
Pieces of clothing started to fly through the air between the two fillies before she even finished the sentence as they rapidly changed. In no time at all, they were ready. Diamond Tiara adjusted a piece of Twist's costume, then sent her on her way, asking her to shut the door on the way behind her.
Diamond Tiara looked at Apple Bloom, who wilted under her gaze. With a sigh, Diamond Tiara began, "There's no easy way to do this, so I'll just say it: I'm sorry."
"Huh?"
"I'm sorry. I've been mean to you ever since my mother died. I guess I was hurting so bad that I needed someone to blame, and I picked you. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair to you. And for that I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me."
Diamond Tiara looked expectantly at Apple Bloom, who just stared back with a blank gaze.
"It's okay. I understand. All those years... All those wasted years..." Diamond Tiara said sadly, as she turned toward the door.
"Wait."
Diamond Tiara turned to look hopefully at Apple Bloom.
"You really mean it?" Apple Bloom asked.
"For real-real. I want us to go back to how we were when we were young and my father would drop me off to play."
"You mean like sisters?"
"Well, maybe more like niece and really cool young aunt," Diamond Tiara replied mischievously.
"Huh?"
"Yes, like sisters."
Apple Bloom looked at Diamond Tiara, head askew. "This isn't some trick now, is it?"
"If it was a trick, would I do this?" Diamond Tiara reached up and undid the necklace that she had worn since the day of Silver Spoon's funeral. Then, she fastened it around Apple Bloom's neck. "I think Sil would like the idea of it around the neck of a friend of mine once more."
Apple Bloom looked at Diamond Tiara, analyzing. Diamond Tiara squirmed a bit under the gaze, but waited as patiently as possible for Apple Bloom to make her decision. At last she did. "Okay. But I'm not making no promises. We take this thing a day at a time."
"That's all I can ask." Diamond Tiara threw a hug around her new friend, who seemed unsure of what to do with Diamond Tiara's forelegs around her. Tentatively, Apple Bloom returned the hug, loosely at first, then more tightly.
At last, Diamond Tiara broke off the hug and beckoned Apple Bloom toward the door. "I believe we have a show to put on, my friend."
The performance that night was not perfect and the tiara did get a small scratch. The actors were enthusiastic, however, and that more than made up for any imperfections. From the sidelines, Diamond Tiara watched as her classmates performed and the audience enjoyed the show. Silver Spoon and Scootaloo's parents were sitting side by side. And her father? His hoof rested comfortably on top of Applejack's.
There were many other things Diamond Tiara did from that fateful day on, many other lives she touched. She went out of her way to make friends and help others. She even went to Canterlot once a month to read to, of all things, a statue. The only pony who could be said to have more friends than Diamond Tiara was Pinkie Pie, and some would debate even that. No one could be said to be a better friend. When the day of Diamond Tiara's death finally came, after a long and happy life, the entire town of Ponyville attended the funeral, as well as ponies from all over Equestria, brought together one last time a pony who was a friend to all.
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1784016 Works better for the story.
Ah lovely. Expect a review!
Wow, the feels. And so well written. Have a :raritycry
Need more views though.
1784381
As to sad and dark tags, I will tag it dark, I think. Carol is sort of strange in that it has its sad/dark chapters (2 & 4) and its lighter ones (1, 3, & 5). Ultimately, while my take on the story may make people feel sad in parts, that isn't its goal and the last chapter is dedicated to giving happy feels, so no sad. But chapter four gets a bit dark, darker than the original, so probably warrants the story the dark tag
So, yup, Discord.
He was the one spirit that I had issues with. Canon Discord is so malicious, while the Dicken's Present is out to enjoy life, to show Scrooge what he is missing out on. Ultimately, I figured I'd just sneak in little bits of mean here and there and write off the rest as being due to the rules, his loneliness/boredom, and being split into 502 parts with this part being light on the maliciousness.
Obviously didn't go the Chrysalis route. Sombra had the fear factor, the chains tie in for the last scene of verse four, plus his lack of dialogue was a nice fit for the mute Future. It also meant I'm using all three season premiere villains, which was a nice bonus. To be honest, I can't even recall when I decided on any of the three. They just fit, felt like they had always been the choice. Never contemplated any others.
I'm curious how you see Chrysalis as playing out in the role though, how that would change things compared to the route I went. As I said, I never even gave her a thought, so I'm curious about the potential there :)
1790666
Thanks.
Views will come slowly over time, I hope. The downside of writing about an unpopular pony, as opposed to one like Trixie (or going the route of a very OOC Mane 6). But I like DT, and believe she is a great fit for the story. She's got the friend for the Marley role (and none other that are shown), she's got the bad attitude, and she's a Ponyville resident, so actually involved with known characters, allowing the show to play its part.
Seeing the horrors of a bleak future can change any person around. Yet another Christmas Carol.
Ah, yes. I love A Christmas Carol. I would actually love to see where Applejack and Filthy Rich's relationship goes after this. Along with DT and the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
By the way, you forgot the most important part of A Christmas Carol. As Tiny Tim observed, "God bless us, EVERYONE!"
1791404
The interesting thing is that, in A Christmas Carol, Scrooge is ready to change before the horrors of the bleak future. His problem is mostly that he is disconnected from his fellow man. The visits to the Past and Present serve to both help him connect to those he had been keeping at a distance and to remind him of what he is missing out on by not connecting. Future serves mostly to make sure that point sticks, to drive home that "you can't take it with you."
And, yup, that is a fair statement. There's some stories inspired by A Christmas Carol, like It's a Wonderful Life and Groundhog's Day, that do a great job of breaking the mold. Others stick closer to the original, and mine definitely falls into that category. Maybe next Christmas, I'll do something a bit more original and go the comedy route, with some villain determined not to change ;) Hopefully by then my writing will be better than it is now.
1791657
Definitely. I guess Dickens wanted the repentance aspect, as he wanted to reach the well off, to make them think of the plight of the poor. But the visual imagery of the "beware the stick" chuck into the grave is huge. Probably why so many adaptions, especially movie ones, go that route. Mine included.
I liked the image of DT being drug into the grave by chains, as the chains serve both as a callback to Silver Spoon in verse 1 and to Sombra's enslaving of the Crystal Empire.
1791768
AJ+Rich is something that has been on my list of potential story ideas for quite a while, though as a comedy piece with DT and AB trying to stop the relationship, though obviously that wouldn't be tied to this story. But I do like the idea of the pairing and so I used it here. Worked out nicely as it gave me a reason to use AJ in Verse 4, even if it did make me feel bad for putting her through that.
I do have a possible bonus/sequel chapter in mind, though it relates primarily to the DT's reading to Discord. At some point, I'll possibly write that, maybe after I finish P&P&S. But that's probably 2+ months down the road.
And, doh, did forget that. Not sure how that could fit in in such a way that it fit naturally now though. Scootaloo is sort of my Tiny Tim, but wouldn't really work well with her. Guess if I'd ended the story with DT joining AB on stage at the play, but then it might have felt forced. So Celestia and Luna don't get to bless everyone. Instead, the role of Tiny Tim uttering that famous line will be played by Luckysweep, in the comments. That's official story canon now.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed it
1791980 Thank you so much for that. I am honored that you decided to answer all my comments.
1792001
Most authors like feedback, be it in the form of comments, favorites, or thumbs. I'm no exception. After the time it takes to write a story, it is nice when someone cares enough to spend a little time of their own on it. So I try to respond to at least some comments.
And it gives me something to do while waiting out a bit of post-story burnout, before diving into the next thing
1792060 Oh, by the way. You said you hope your writing will improve, well, I think it is pretty good already. Of course, there is never such thing as unimprovable. Keep getting better at what you love!
1792087
Yeah, always room for improvement. For me, show vs tell aspects could be better, pacing, etc, and that is just for the type of stuff I have been writing. What I don't have much practice with yet is comedy, so if I do want to write a comedy seasonal piece next year (which I don't have any plans to do yet), I'd need to improve my comedic writing. But, hey, that's what one shots are useful for: Good practice and a nice way to blow off some steam on something I'm not as heavily invested in as a multiple chapter story.
This story is beautiful. I love it to death. It deserves many more reads and reviews. After the initial hurdle of making Diamond a sympathetic character--which you cleared quickly--the story hit the ground running and cruised to an excellent finish. And Discord was awesome, a nice break between the more threatening spirits of Nightmare and Sombra. Prose and grammar were beyond reproach.
This is a merrier holiday greeting than I could hope to return, but nevertheless, Happy Hearth's Warming to you.
You killed my feels.
1790474
Thanks and looking forward to it.
1801271
Hopefully in a good way? And if not, let me know where I went wrong so I can avoid feel-slaughter in the future ;)
1802138
The AJ bit in Verse 4?
I'm going to write a story like this(different name,but Dimond Tiara is the main charecter.I was thinking about it in bed this morning and I have the past and the future.Past is my OC,Sweetsong,and future is Me.)Good story though.Anyone get ANY ideas on what the present ghost should be,answer this comment or send me a PM(private message)Thinking of either Minty or Starcatcher from G3.
1803788
Yup, she has issues. Though in her defense, keep in mind this takes place on/near the one year anniversary of the event. For a year, she's been blaming herself, not only for DT's death, but also for the subsequent suicide (though the location/time shifts before she admits that part to Mac, hopping a year back in the future to the actual suicide). She's been coping with alcohol, letting other parts of her life slide. She's bottled it all up, determined to handle it herself, pride at war with guilt. A year's worth of feeling guilt, amp'ed up by the date, plus being rather drunk... It is her low point. From here, she'd have begun recovering.
I don't think any pony other than AJ would have lasted near as long.
1803825
Yay! More DT stories.
I never watched G3, so I don't know enough about their personalities to offer suggestions. The brief blurbs on a wiki don't really give the feel for their personalities. Guess you can either pick the pony and adapt Present to work well with it or decide how you want Present to go, then find the character that best fits the bill. Either way, the story and the character will blend to form their unique take on it, but the point from which you start will impact where you end up.
Also, if you need the original story for research purposes, this is what I used.
>> Mudpony Minty is a clutz with a big heart.Shes my prof. pic from my favorite g3 movie a very minty christmas(in which she knocks oer a giant candy cane and.......watch it on youtube.)Starcatcher is a white pegasus with wings bigger than the other g3 pegasus wings and she has a pink design on her nose and body and was the first pegasus in ponyville(just like g3 Rarity was the first unicorn in ponyville)and speaks rather magesticaly.Can't decide!AHHHHHHHH!
1805080
I'll give the episode a go.
Would using both work? Sure, the original only had a single spirit with Scrooge, but it also didn't have talking magical ponies. If using them as a duo adds some value and uniqueness to the story and solves your dilemma...
1805142 Perfect thanks!Writing it right now(hey I used a homophone pair)
1837799
Diamond Tiara >= Mane 6
1838390
Disco Diamond! It has all sorts of potential. Discord decides to mentor DT and gives her some chaos power. Fun stuff happens.
And fixed the typo. Thanks.
And there we have it! 5 chapters of Tales of Tiara: Scrooged read. Three cheers for the journey, one for the goal!
I have an unfair bias towards anything involving DT, so let me turn that off for a moment.
I liked this story. I liked reading this story. This story was wonderfully detailed and wholly entertaining as a Christmas Carol crossover and etc. If I had to pick a favorite chapter, it would be chapter 3, simply because it provided the most entertaining imagine spots and more seemed to be accomplished in that chapter than any other.
The vocabulary throws me off at times, but I don't think it's detrimental to the story. In fact, I would say it works well in a figurative sense since Diamond and Silver were the only ones to really speak in such a way. Even better, Diamond doesn't speak this way at first, only after she's been affected by the haunting. So, either these events just directly rewired her brain to make her undergo total character change or she's more like Nightmare Moon than either of them realized. Regardless, it does well to symbolize the change of the experience in a verbal manner, so I suppose it's comme il faut that it throws me off.
One aspect I enjoyed was how each of the three spirits served a role that clearly wasn't in their job description. We don't know who sent these spirits or why they agreed, but all of them seemed to have something that distracted them from their main objective. Nightmare Moon had her own problems on her mind, and used that to pull a "not so different" moment; Discord was busy enjoying his freedom and (un)intentionally performing a good deed; and King Sombra probably would have kept going with the grief-inducing events for several more hours if she hadn't demanded to see the grave. Unlike the original story, all of these spirits felt as if they were doing this for a second job, which works out well since they were. It made the entire setting feel more relaxed, even with such dark twists and scenarios.
While the fourth verse was a powerful climax, I honestly can't say how necessary it was considering she wanted to change before it even began. Obviously, from a storytelling perspective, it was absolutely necessary. Can't have A Christmas Carol without the big finish in the future after all. It just makes me wonder how the story would have gone if King Sombra didn't show up. In relation, I thought the final chapter of redemption summed everything up as it needed (except perhaps the Applejack + Filthy Rich romance). I'd say it felt natural and justified with enough doubt and acceptance to go around. It was some tasty popcorn without the oversaturation of butter to make it heavier than it needed to be. It could be that I just wasn't paying close attention enough in chapter 3, but I had a bit of difficulty understanding how Diamond knew the present that Discord had altered was for Scootaloo. Was it a gut feeling or was there something more obvious that I missed?
Anyway, I believe that basically concludes the thoughts that came to mind. Hope you have a Christmas as merry as the Hearth's Warming Eve you ended with. Oh, and sorry, Silver Spoon. Better luck next fic.
All right, turning DT bias back on.
1840943
Mostly, it is that way because that is how the original plays it as well. I can see a few reasons why Dickens does that it that way.
With Scrooge (and Tiara here), you have a character that is disconnected from their fellow man. Past dives into why the disconnect happens, while Present shows Scrooge what he is missing out on, how others think of him. Those two events already serve to make him potentially want to change. Then you serve up Future, who is scary, ominous, and silent. At that point, you need to provide a reason for Scrooge to go with him. Either he needs to be hauled along, kicking and screaming, which doesn't work so well with the silent aspect, or he needs to go along willingly. And so he says the line, providing justification for why he goes along with
DeathFuture. Plus he's most likely gathering his nerves. He's scared, but he's trying to convince himself to go along.Additionally, there's the matter of Scrooge's reform. If you do something to avoid punishment, you aren't really a good and moral person. You have the same impulses, but you don't act upon them because you fear the consequences thereof, rather than because you actually believe they are wrong. Remove the consequences, old behaviors would return. For Scrooge to reform, it cannot be due to fear of what Future shows him. That leaves it as more of an "I didn't know what the consequences of my actions would be" sort of situation. For that, Scrooge has to have reconnected with his fellow man beforehand, so that he cares that Little Tim dies, what people say about him. He has to already be on the path.
Overall, the third spirit serves to make sure that Scrooge understands the importance of his reformation and the consequences of not doing so (as well as the folly of his old ways). It makes him really want to change.
How would it have played out without Sombra? Tiara would probably have made some friends, but not as many. Doubt she'd befriend the CMC or arrange for her father to sit next to AJ. It'd be Alula, Rumble, and/or Twist that she would befriend.
I wasn't really telling AJ + FR's story, so I deliberately left it vague. They were publicly dating now, the DT issue resolved. Up to the reader to decide if the relationship works out or not. And, hey, maybe it'll inspire some AppleRich fics ;)
The wrapping paper, though in chapter 5, not three. I kept the pattern hidden from the reader until Scootaloo gets the gift, mostly because I feared it would make it too obvious, especially with DT visiting Scootaloo later in the chapter. When she returns in chapter 5, it has settled on a single pattern, but I don't reveal exactly what it is. That waits until Scootaloo gets the present: "the white paper decorated with red wheels, wheels with wings." Basically this:
assets.sbnation.com/assets/7083/LOGO_Red_Wings.jpg
Not my team, but works nicely for Scootaloo. Guess I could use an extra sentence when DT realizes who it is for though, to make it clearer what the pattern tells her.
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In Equestria, there's always hope for redemption. I like to think that, at the very least, with every chain Diamond sheds, Silver Spoon's load gets lighter. Actually, the idea of a ghost Silver Spoon trying to earn full redemption might make for an interesting story, though one I doubt I'll ever get around to writing. Always too many ideas. Like possibly doing a Chrissy version of chapter 4 that isn't quite as dark.
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There has to be hope for Silver. Her spirit is so predominant in the chapters, unlike Jacob Marly in the Original Christmas Carol and every time I heard about her it broke my heart to know her spirit is so doomed.
my head canon is that when she died her spirit was too heavy with guilt and sin that she could not take flight and leave this earth. And yet hell too was closed to her because due to her age (say 9 to 12) she could not have been fully aware of the consequences of her actions, and the affect on others as well as her self, despite being a highly intelligent filly. It's proven fact that the brain is too underdeveloped.
so she walks the earth alone in her own personal purgatory, watching the affects both good and bad that she had on Ponyville.
I would butcher the story myself, I'm afraid. So I am thinking of making a Silver Spoon's Ghost blog on tumblr. Get people to ask questions and share ideas as Silver haunts the Rich Estate. Not because she wants to, but because DT wants her not to be alone.
Knowing you share my view that her load became lighter after secureing DT's future is a good push off point for ponies to sugest how she can use her powers to help others, now that DT has somehow bound her spirit to her and Ponyville so she doesn't have to wander too far away.
there is plenty of room for plot development, with DT's father being a resident of the mansion with a new relationship with Aj blossoming. And yet only Diamond must suffer her constant ratling of her chains because only she can hear or see Silver Spoon most of the time.
appropriately enough, December is just around the corner, so I may run the blog for a month and say thats how long the magic is to last that keeps her spirit from having to wander. In that month she must make amends or be once again doomed to not rest in one spot for more then a hour or so, once again, driven to wander aimlessly for eternity.
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A "Silver Chains" tumblr could be good. Possibly have a chain that ties her to Diamond? Could tie into why she's around Diamond, as well as why Diamond can see her.
i can't say dickens would be please..... but he was a prentensious self centered old bastard,
now this is a good story, it embodies what the story meant with an interesting twist to it and your use of sombra, dicord and nightmare moon really works wonders here. there trying there hardest to teach her not to be like them or be like them in discords case.
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What do you mean a chain that ties her to Diamond? and the tumblr blog was a terrible failure. not one ask all month.
what I was thinking as far as Diamond being able to bind Silver to her, has to do with the blood ritual that she and Silver invoked when they were fillies in the PAST Hearths Warming Eve Chapter.
Even if there are millions of parodies of the Christmas Carol, I rather liked this one.