What a ride. It is SO HARD to write for Discord, even when he's behaving somewhat out-of-character like he is here.

Sorry that this took so long, everypony. Just too many things going on at the start of a new year...

My thanks to a very awesome brony on IRC who helped me turn some of the sillier turns of phrase into less-ridiculous ones Cheers!

Holy buck, that was... brutal.

You warned us, but did we listen, no...

Hm. Not sure I liked some of this, especially what happened to Luna.

And the fact The Lunacy turns out to be a seperate entity controlling Twilight and not something she is doing purely of free will isn't too pleasing either.

Erk? Blah honestly... Lunacy's motivations seemed a bit flat. His? Entire character was better as a primal force rather than a nihilistic sentience.

Definitely grimdark but it's just a gore filled annihilation, thus blah.

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Discord, dead?
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EXPLAIN OR BE 'EX-TER-MIN-ATED!
'EX-TER-MIN-ATE,'EX-TER-MIN-ATE,'EX-TER-MIN-ATE!

So, is that the end? gonna write an epilogue for this? or is this it?

I expect a long epilogue describing how they wait.

The end...the ending was unsatisfying...derp.

It really was not Twilight's destiny...derp.

128698

It's grimdark. You're not supposed to like what happens in it, otherwise it's not grimdark.

Grimdark isn't just violence and gore, it's the oncoming despair. Brief flashes of desperate hope, clung to like lifelines. Broken so utterly and completely. THAT is grimdark, the inability to do anything before the oncoming storm, while forced to fight it so fruitlessly.

This was well-written, and quite grimdark.

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Er, no it isn't. THAT just sounds like rubbish.

128866

Yes, that is Grimdark. How many people do you know LIKE Cupcakes? Same idea.

This, this right here, this is how you Grimdark. I'm so far shocked/horrified/etc that I'm back to normal. That in itself is not normal.

You sir, are one exceedingly devious bastard. Someone should give you the scumbag of the earth award for this.

Anyway, all in all though, epic writing.

Well, it's pretty much exactly what you warned us it would be, and I enjoyed it. Even though I usually avoid grimdark like the plague. all my star.

That was the first grimdark mlp fiction ive ever read, and I thought it was pretty good. A few of the parts reminded me of some anime i've watched actually.

The far reaching despair oriented planning of the Lunacy makes me think of the anti-spirals from Gurren Lagann. Too bad this wasn't the Gurren Lagann universe though, every time something brought the cast close to breaking(in this case what NMF did to Luna) they overcame it and their power grew exponentially.

And the fight between Celestia/NMF/Discord with the huge auras and throwing debris everywhere reminds me of some of the better fight scenes in DBZ.

Very well done grimdark, alot of thought put into a 3rd ending.

This is Grimdark as F*ck as F*ck as F*ck as F*ck.

Well done Sir/ Ma'am

LOVE IT. WRITE MORE FICS.

This was an awesome piece of a fic.
That being said i am now going to start repressing the grimdark ending and think about "canon" ending.
Gonna take a while.

I actually really liked this. Liked it a lot, probably just as much as the canon ending. The whole thing...the grimdark-ness, the action, the hopelessness, and especially the twist ending — I love it.

Awesome work! Is this the last alternate ending?

This may seem grim-dark, but... there's gonna be new life, and that is kinda cool.

I.. REALLY liked this. This was dark, brutal, and quite a ride! And brilliantly written like the original story itself!

I must be crazy for enjoying such a dark story! xD

Wow this was just a great ending, very very nice.

Wow, my god, that was awesome.
All the endings are best endings.

Odd how the most unsettling part of this is that The Lunacy left Celestia and Twilight alive.

Most of this played out roughly how I expected. Had a feeling Celestia would turn out to be the one to burn the world. Bizarrely enough, somehow even semi-expected that void confrontation with Discord.

Did not anticipate The Lunacy letting them live. Up to that moment it was like this frenzied rush of action that (other than the unfortunate treatment of Luna) didn't actually make me feel bad at all, for some reason. Then the moment I realized he was just going to leave them there in the wreckage, it suddenly felt truly grim.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but holy mother of GOD this ending was AMAZING; and I HATE unhappy endings... I have no idea how you did it, but you sir are a literary god.

...this ending does not surprise me, not really

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"Amazing" seems to be over the top when describing this ending. Read "The Last Question" by Issac Asimov, or "Answer" by Frederic Brown for amazing endings.

Grim-dark (a stupid needless category by the way) at it's worst elicits not fear or despair, only disgust. That's what I felt for this ending. Simply hinting at Twilight's deprivations would have been more effective and less loathsome. Instead, we are treated to cannibalism and sodomy. Way to keep it classy. If you want horror and despair, read H.P. Lovecraft.

The rest of the story just came out of left field. What was up with Discord, why'd he go away? Who was the Lunacy? If it's identity was hinted at earlier, I must have missed it. Over all, this ending was inferior to your others.

And then the seaponies come up from the bottom of the ocean and say, "What the kelp happened up here?"

well, i liked the twist with the third sister, but from then on it wasn't very satisfying... anyways, great chapter!

I liked this . The way to make Celestia snapped was evil, poor Luna . But Celestia being that powerful was so awesome. Hail the sun princess or burn!!!

Great grimdark ending, was lots of gory fun to read.

We asked for Grimdark and we got it. I was not disappointed in the least.

"Starshine and Moonrise were the first and second! Your parents were ALICORNS!" And they were sisters? I got the feeling Celestia had both a male and female parent, cause if either of them was male, that would make Luna the third sister, and she was turned to dust . What thou hath done to thine precious Luna was surely a tragedy in full and hath left scars on thine memory. (This royal talk stuff is hard.)

Well, The wielders of Elements of Harmony died, it's possible Elements themselves may reapper in the future.

From what I know, the first eradication of live here was when our planet was formed. The next time Lunacy appeared was the time it wiped out the Dinosaurs. Celestia and Twilight were unable to stop it... But they could've still lived and Lunacy left once more to return later... Now, there is a possiblity of Sequel with HUMANZ or other species! If you won't write it, I WILL! Or someone else once they reach this conclusion.

It was really fun to read about Celestia's despair. But the ending. The very last lines...

Thanks, everyone. I tried to write a horrible tale, and I apparently succeeded!

130388 Uh, I'm guessing the Princesses' father was male. That's... a hell of a mistake for me to have not noticed. Hmm. I'm going to have to rewrite some of this... For now let us assume that their dad was a crossdresser. "Moonrise" sounds like a drag name anyway...

I have to admit, I really don't like this ending. I don't like the content, and I don't like how the story panned out either. It was too hard to write because I was having difficulties with the subject matter. Heh. It's a work of fiction, based on another work of fiction, and I have issues with it.

Horror isn't really my thing

To recover from this, I'm working on a ridiculous comedy fic. I need to LAUGH, damnit!!!

130886 Damn...that was definitely a twist I was not expecting.

I mean, I had it figured out at the first moment Celestia showed any sign of disregard for any of the other ponies caught in the crossfire (all-around instant folly when you neglect those you love - all bets are off and out comes the self-destruction and reckless abandon), but I was seriously not expecting her actions to be the means to the end. I was just expecting her tragic defeat and her being sole witness to her failure. What you thought up was far more tragic and depressing (and really gory. and rather disturbing).

Congratulations. I came looking for grimdark and tragic, and boy did I get it. Good show.

Chapter before this: This isn't grimdark. Its sort of Dark, but not all the gory, or graphic.

This Chapter:

My god. This was BRUTAL. I was not expecting the rape of Luna. I was not Expecting too see Celestia basically kill everypony on the earth, which just added so much to the disparity. You made a bleak depressing ending that will haunt my entire night now.

And oddly. I loved it. You earned my first Watch!

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Point - we don't actually _know_ Twilight's deprivations. Yes, we were specifically told about the cannibalism and rape - but, if you'll notice, that wasn't actually Twilight. That was The Lunacy, possessing Twilight. And, considering The Lunacy then manifests itself entirely seperately from her, I'm not sure if that was Twilight, or just a physical manifestation that The Lunacy chose to mess with Celestia's head, while Twilight was 'elsewhere' being tortured by it.

... I should be impressed. But the fact is, I am so incredibly horrified, there isn't room left in my head for me to be impressed. Admittedly, you could have done more with Luna (as horrific as mental reprogramming as, there are 'better' ways to do it than just literally rewriting a pony's personality), however, I realise The Lunacy didn't really care about Luna - it just wanted to screw with Celestia. And dear God, you have the art of subtlety down to a T! Yes, all this is bad - but now they have, what? 3.6 billion years before life develops? That's 3.6 billion years for them to meditate on how exactly they messed up - how Celestia played entirely into it's hands and was tricked into _murdering_ the _entire planet_ that she had spent several thousand years caring for, including her sister, and her distant cousins. While Twilight gets to meditate on all the different ways in which it _broke_ her, and how she _helped_ betray her most beloved mentor and leader on the most fundamental level possible. And they're stuck, with noone else for company. On a planet that won't even develop basic forms of life for several billion years. With the promise that it will be back to do it all over again. And then again. And again - for all eternity. _That_, quite simply, is a fate worse than death. WH40k fails to approach that level of grimdark.
To be fair, I am slightly irked that a creature that was described as a primal force of nature, a God of Chaos, was killed by its creator here. More for the fact that introducing a creature that can create and destroy god-like entities on a whim seems kind've over the top - that's the sort of being that should be gambling for the future of the universe, not mucking about trying to destroy a single planet.
If it had been some sort of entropic being that Discord had fled planets from trying to evade, previously, that would make it seem slightly less inevitable. But, really? The creator of Discord, a being that took both Luna and Celestia weilding the Elements once, and the Elements plus a more powerful being than the two combined, to merely seal in stone? No - something that can create, and subsequently destroy him with little effort would be nigh unstoppable by any means. And if it had rendered the Elements impotent? Failsafe - averted. At that point your existence failure is guaranteed - it's simply a matter of time.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go read a _happy_ fic before I go to sleep.

I laughed.
Again.

CYZZACLES BEEN SHUT DOWN!

CYZZACLES BEEN SHUT DOWN!

CYZZACLES BEEN SHUT DOWN!

"Like a child looking on in morbid curiosity."

If I had known that this is what grimdark could be, I wouldn't have made the harsh, unfair generalizations that I've made in the past.

I was under the impression that grimdark had no overarching plot, no interesting concepts, and no real emotions besides fear and despair. I had promised never to read it. But after reading through Not My Destiny, which I initially started merely as research for my own story, I felt compelled to try out the alternate ending. And at first I was going to stop after the first chapter and simply find something else, but then you involved Discord, and I knew that I had to stick around.

This was incredibly satisfying, and I was wrong. Bravo, sir, and thank you for changing my mind.

All three endings are viable in their own fashion. More interesting is that it is actually dark without resorting to gorn (with the clear exception of the gorn ending). All the endings feel natural, the story seems reasonable, the death is not out of control, the villain is reasonable. And overall the balance of emotions is natural and flowing which is a huge plus. I just liked this story.

I'm glad I read it. But I'm favorable to alicorn Twilight stories, so yay.
Keep up the good writing. You've got yet another mindless follower.

Holy fuck... All i can say is shut up and take my money! Or internets, whichever you prefer

Thats . . . was . . .
TEWOOOOTALY WICKID!

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Doctor Who has different ideas about The Lunacy's survival...