• Member Since 22nd Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Dec 5th, 2018

Appledash


T

Twilight gets bored with all her ordinary books in her library so she decide to go down in her basement to find something interesting, she finds a book that in the end she wishes she never did...

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 20 )

Not bad at all. It's my privilage to give you your first comment and first rating. I wait to see what the deal is with the book. You could stand to have the demon spirit thing lurk in the shadows a little more. The fear BEFORE it reveales it's self is essential for anything scary. That other verson of reality reminded me a little of silent hill's other reality. I personally hope things go from bad to worse to scary as shit to a happy ending. This is still MLP:Friendship is Magic after all. Happy endings are almost a must if you ask me otherwise it feels out of character. If you REALLY want to write something gruesome and dark use something OTHER then multi-colored ponies. That's kinda the reason most fans of the show hate cupcakes. It both broke character for the show and ponies and it was mostly just a torture fantasy writen to ponies. That guy should really practice writing more. He just wasn't that good. Also nice cover picture. I chose something similar for mine.

This is bucking insane. Tracking. :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

I'll track but you need to get a proofreader there were many grammer errors and you could have added in a bit more detail here and there:unsuresweetie:

You've peeked my interrest due to the fact that I like stories that involve something messing with the main character's psyche. Will be tracking. Please do continue writing. I want to see how the story develops.

tracking, but you need to get a proofreader. too many spelling and grammar mistakes.

I'm Really glad you like it! :pinkiehappy:

I am fully aware of the grammar mistakes, and I am working on it.

And I hope i can write next chapter as good :twilightsheepish:

Aww...I guess Spike ain't coming back. Still the story is nice and creepy so far. This chapter had a little more suspense before the ghosts (that's what I'm guessing they are now) appear but not that much.

Yay first
I liked it very good and i want more:flutterrage:
But there were a few grammer errors here and there othe than that it was pretty good:pinkiesmile:

Zecora doesn't rhyme :fluttercry:

Other than that, :yay: I've been waiting for this for ages!

237020 Yeah I know sorry for that, but if I wrote rhymes for Zecora, you would have to wait even longer for this chapter :twilightsmile:

story would be creepier if it weren't for the grammar,

it's hard to get into a story with obvious grammatical errors :twilightoops:

err, seems a bit rushed, and Fluttershy would NOT react to witnessing a brutal stabbing with "please don't kill anypony else"

tad out of character, good story though 6_^

291548 Yes the third chapter was a bit rushed indeed, but that is only becasue I didn't have the time to write on it any longer, so I posted it to try to avoid what is happening with chapter 4 right now... That is, its getting delayed..And in MINE story Flutthershy might react like that..

I am fully aware of the grammar errors (even in this text) I am doing my best to fix them but that ain't so easy when you don't have any friends that want to grammar check and edit your chapters, I had one but he has his own story to worry about.

I'm glad you liked it anyway! :twilightsmile:

jeez, dont you think twilights reaction to her killing spike would be deeper then that? he must not mean that much to her then...

i like the story so far, good plot line!:twilightsmile:

when do you think you will be posting the next chapter? i want to read it so bad!!!:raritydespair: good story!! here is something to brighten up your day!!:rainbowwild:

2217714 Haha thank you again! :twilightsmile: For the story thus far I haven't continued, I don't have the proper help I need at the moment. English isn't my main language so I need a lot of help with proofreaders and editors. But with people like you that post comments like that really helps me alot and gives me motivation to maybe someday continue. :raritywink:

We'll see what happens :)

Login or register to comment