Appledash
Joined 22nd Nov, 2011 ·
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Not bad at all. It's my privilage to give you your first comment and first rating. I wait to see what the deal is with the book. You could stand to have the demon spirit thing lurk in the shadows a little more. The fear BEFORE it reveales it's self is essential for anything scary. That other verson of reality reminded me a little of silent hill's other reality. I personally hope things go from bad to worse to scary as shit to a happy ending. This is still MLP:Friendship is Magic after all. Happy endings are almost a must if you ask me otherwise it feels out of character. If you REALLY want to write something gruesome and dark use something OTHER then multi-colored ponies. That's kinda the reason most fans of the show hate cupcakes. It both broke character for the show and ponies and it was mostly just a torture fantasy writen to ponies. That guy should really practice writing more. He just wasn't that good. Also nice cover picture. I chose something similar for mine.
This is bucking insane. Tracking.
I'll track but you need to get a proofreader there were many grammer errors and you could have added in a bit more detail here and there
You've peeked my interrest due to the fact that I like stories that involve something messing with the main character's psyche. Will be tracking. Please do continue writing. I want to see how the story develops.
tracking, but you need to get a proofreader. too many spelling and grammar mistakes.
I'm Really glad you like it!
I am fully aware of the grammar mistakes, and I am working on it.
And I hope i can write next chapter as good
Aww...I guess Spike ain't coming back. Still the story is nice and creepy so far. This chapter had a little more suspense before the ghosts (that's what I'm guessing they are now) appear but not that much.
Yay first
I liked it very good and i want more
But there were a few grammer errors here and there othe than that it was pretty good
Zecora doesn't rhyme
Other than that,
I've been waiting for this for ages!
237020 Yeah I know sorry for that, but if I wrote rhymes for Zecora, you would have to wait even longer for this chapter
story would be creepier if it weren't for the grammar,
it's hard to get into a story with obvious grammatical errors
err, seems a bit rushed, and Fluttershy would NOT react to witnessing a brutal stabbing with "please don't kill anypony else"
tad out of character, good story though 6_^
291548 Yes the third chapter was a bit rushed indeed, but that is only becasue I didn't have the time to write on it any longer, so I posted it to try to avoid what is happening with chapter 4 right now... That is, its getting delayed..And in MINE story Flutthershy might react like that..
I am fully aware of the grammar errors (even in this text) I am doing my best to fix them but that ain't so easy when you don't have any friends that want to grammar check and edit your chapters, I had one but he has his own story to worry about.
I'm glad you liked it anyway!
more please
jeez, dont you think twilights reaction to her killing spike would be deeper then that? he must not mean that much to her then...
MOAR!!!! NOW!!!!!!!
i like the story so far, good plot line!
2213405 Thank you!
when do you think you will be posting the next chapter? i want to read it so bad!!!
good story!! here is something to brighten up your day!!
2217714 Haha thank you again!
For the story thus far I haven't continued, I don't have the proper help I need at the moment. English isn't my main language so I need a lot of help with proofreaders and editors. But with people like you that post comments like that really helps me alot and gives me motivation to maybe someday continue. 
We'll see what happens :)