The chariot ride to Vanhoover was uncomfortably silent. Come to think of it, the whole trip had been that way. From the previous night, when she managed to beat Twilight to the hotel and feigned sleep, she had been deathly afraid of her questioning her about last night’s conversation. Thankfully, Twilight seemed to have forgotten about it.
She sighed. That was hoping too much. Twilight had her blind spots, but she was no fool, especially when it came to her friends. She was probably analyzing every word said, looking for some meaning, and she would find it sooner or later. She…
“We should be there pretty soon,” Twilight said. Applejack nearly jumped out of her skin.
“Huh? Uh… yeah, that’s great.”
Twilight looked at her. “Are… you okay?” She put a foreleg up her wife’s forehead. “You seem warm.”
“Uh, it’s nuthin’.” Nuthin’ but bein’ so close to ya... “Us, so what are we gunna be doin’?”
Twilight looked at Applejack, scanning her in a way she always did when she knew there was a problem to be solved. “Well, Flim and Flam are at their shop. We’ll go there while the guards check us in to our apartment. It should be pretty in and out, unless those two try anything.”
“Wouldn’t put it past them,” Applejack said, hiding her relief at the change in subject. “I might believe Trixie’s changed, but those two… there’s somethin’ about them. Like every time they shake yer hoof they’re stealing yer wallet.”
“Sociopaths can be like that,” Twilight said. “We can… only… hope…”
As the chariot landed, Twilight saw something that made her eyes widen in terror. A confused Applejack saw it seconds later, and was equally terrified.
They were landed outside Flim and Flam’s shop, about thirty feet away. But even from this distance, they could see it.
It was a banner. And on that banner was a long, blown up picture of Twilight and Applejack’s drunken wedding kiss.
Both of their jaws practically put holes in the chariot bottom. For a few seconds, all they could do was stare and stutter in horror.
“Um… this is your… stop,” one of the drivers said, clearly far too amused at the situation. “If you’ll… step off… we’ll go book our rooms.”
Too stunned to do anything but obey, the pair stepped from the chariot, nearly tripping over their hooves while doing so. Even after the chariot took off, they could do nothing but gape.
“…No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…”
And that was the only words from Twilight’s mouth as the pair ran toward the shop.
As they got closer, they saw Flim at the entrance, making his spiel. “Step right up, there’s no need to crowd. We have the best memorabilia celebrating the greatest wedding since the union of Shining Armor and Princess Cadance! Witness the never-before-seen union of two of the Elements of Harmony, a pair of star-crossed lovers whose wonderful affair has been kept under wraps, until now! Step in, and my brother Flam will be happy to sell you everything you need to mark this momentous occasion!”
“Look, there they are!”
The voice in the crowd got everypony’s attention. They turned to see the still-shocked couple.
“And here they are, the two whose love is an inspiration for us all! Give them a...”
And then Twilight’s magic surrounded around Flim's throat, tightening it in a rare show of violence for the pony. "You. Inside. We need to have a word."
"Of course, of course," Flim managed to get out, still sounding cheerful despite his restricted windpipe. "Don't worry… folks, I'll be right back."
Flim was dragged inside, where several ponies already browsing the aisles, where such treasures awaited as the copies of the same books that Twilight browsed when she started as Celestia's student ("Selling outdated textbooks. Blasphemy!"), gold imitation bands of their wedding rings, and photos of their kiss. Flam was working the cash registers, eagerly stuffing bits into the drawer.
"Don't crowd, don't crowd… why, as I live and breathe, if it isn't the happy couple themselves. Everypony, give them…"
Flam soon suffered the same grip as his brother. "In the back," Twilight said bluntly.
"Sure, sure. Silver Shill, run the register, would ya?"
A small pony that neither Twilight nor Applejack had noticed before stopped sweeping. He went over to the register just as his bosses were dragged into the back room.
The several boxes of waiting-to-be-stocked merchandise and order forms for various companies to make some form of trinket weren't as flashy as outside, thankfully. Both twins were deposited on the ground.
"What. Are. You. Doing?" Twilight demanded. Applejack had not seen her this angry since she had reached her wits end about Pinkie Sense. "That is supposed to be classified information!"
"Is it?" Flim said. He had apparently gone to smug school with Blueblood. "We just overheard some guards laughing about it. Apparently they aren't very good at keeping secrets."
"Besides, what's there to be embarrassed about? We haven't told anypony that it was an… accident, shall we say," Flam said.
Flim shook his head. "But that could change. It could get out if we were, say, shut down unexpectedly. There'd be questions as to why you two wanted to keep things quiet."
"Oh, imagine the Princess, dying of shame. Imagine the Prince and Princess of the Crystal Empire. After the black mark they got from the invasion, I wonder if he could stand the disgrace."
The twins's words sent Twilight from anger to horror. Her mouth hung open as she tried to find the words. "I… I…"
Applejack, however, was even more angry. "You snakes."
"Sticks and stones," Flim shrugged. "I don't know why you're mad. Everypony is adoring you."
"And what happens when we annul th' weddin'?"
"We're really more ‘in the now’ kinds of ponies," Flam said.
"You can't get away with this. Ain't there any likeness rights? Any invasion of privacy laws?"
"Not for you," Flim said, levitating a lawbook over to him. "According to the law, any important part of the Equestrian government forfeits his or her privacy interests in personal matters as long as they are important to the government. When you received the Elements, you became an important branch of the military, and forfeited all privacy rights therein."
“What? How could th’ Princess allow somethin’ like that?”
Twilight knew. It was a tactic. Whenever they needed to get the press out of important affairs, the highest nobles would make an idiot out of themselves for a distraction. But now…
“Well, if that’s all, we really need to get back to...”
“Not so fast,” Twilight said. “You might be off the hook for this, but we came to question you for another reason.”
“Oh, and what’s that?”
Twilight took a deep breath. “First off, where were you on the night of the wedding? That would be about three nights ago.”
Both brothers looked at each other. “We were here,” Flam said, sounding calm. Flim, meanwhile, was starting to look frazzled.
“Doing what?”
“Um… we simply had some cider and were reading a few books… I think. Who remembers every little thing they’ve done?”
“Do you have anypony who can account for all this?”
“Now, hold on,” Flim said, “Why are we being asked these questions? I think we deserve a lawyer!”
“Oh, that’s rich, you two whinin’ ‘bout bein’ pressured,” Applejack said. “Just tell us.”
“Absolutely not,” Flim said. “We refuse. It’s our right!”
At that, Twilight looked immensely happy. “No it’s not. Not in this case.” Now she picked up the law book. “There’s a hundreds-of-years-old law that states if it’s a matter of national security, we don’t need a warrant, a lawyer, or even to tell you anything about what you’re being questioned about. Me and Applejack, whom you just acknowledged were two important members of the government, were used and manipulated. So refuse at your own risk. You’ll be interrogated by royal guards instead, and there’s a prison sentence for obstructing justice.”
“You don’t scare us,” Flam said. “We know it’s law that everypony gets due process before too long. We could beat every charge you give us.”
“Maybe. But you have done a lot of terrible things. Every member of the government wants to put you away. Are you sure you want to go up against them? And even if you do manage to get out, a subject like this is bound to make national headlines. That means the public will hear of you. You won’t be able to get away with your typical cons anymore. So, are you going to cooperate, or are we going to have to get a bit more extreme?”
The brothers looked at each other in pure shock. Twilight and Applejack just gave an evil smile.
“S-Silver Shill could vouch for us…”
Rarity usually made it a point to get at least eight hours of sleep a night unless she absolutely had to fill a big order. Right now, however, there were more important things than sleep.
She set her alarm for three hours ahead of schedule in order to have the time. She was grateful Blueblood had only restricted her to the castle, since it meant a visit to the Royal Library was allowed.
The librarian, an aged old colt with a beard to rival Star Swirl’s, hefted a book marked in a certain location over to her. “Here you are. I’m afraid this is everything we have on it.”
“Thank you,” she said, flipping it open.
What she saw filled her with shock.
It was labeled, “The Crest of Blueblood.”
She blinked. That wasn’t right. Back in the days when she fawned over him, she had read that the Blueblood crest was a gold shield with a red B, and garnished with so many tacky decorations that it hurt to look at.
She saw the description. “This shield was used by the Blueblood family until 1990 PD. It’s reason for the change has been restricted by Royal Decree…”
Rarity was perplexed again. That was the only page on the subject, the next page moved onto the Brand family.
“Are you sure this is everything?” She caught the librarian as he passed by.
“Oh yes…” Then, after a pause. “Well, it’s everything I’m allowed to show you. There might be more in the StarScribe wing, but that’s forbidden for civilians.”
“I see… well, no matter. Thank you, sir.”
As Rarity left, she thought of her conclusion. With this, and the way Blueblood acted toward his old seal and his parents, it was clear there had been a falling out with his family. The only question was what she was going to do about it.
She stopped dead.
What she was going to do about it? Why should she care? Blueblood is a brute. She should just focus on getting out of her obligation. Let Blueblood sort out his own affairs.
She started walking again. By the time she got out of the library, she was thinking of what to say when she confronted him.
It had been a long interview process. Twilight had made a list of every question she could think of, and every question was told in every wording she could think of, to stop the brothers from finding loopholes out of her questions.
“Very good, we’re done with our questions.”
“Excellent,” Flim said, suddenly pushing the two mares. “Now, if you’ll be so kind, we have a business to run.”
Suddenly, Flim hit an invisible wall.
“We’re done with questions,” Twilight said. “We’re not done with our investigation. I need to see all your business paperwork.
At that, both brothers tensed up. “Wh-why would you need to see that?”
“Well, you have weak alibis, but a search of your store and a look through your business might turn up something. That comes up clean, you’re free to go. Now, go on, see to your customers.”
The two brothers looked at each other. Slowly, they turned and moved out of the room.
“Twi, what exactly are we lookin’ for?”
Twilight pulled a piece of paper out of her saddlebag and handed it to her. On it were several long words she didn’t recognize.
“These are the materials that are probably in the rings. Start looking to see if they ordered these supplies. Let’s get to it, we only have one day to look through everything.”
Applejack took the list and went to one of the boxes, just missing Flim looking back in with a scowl on his face.
Now they can't tell which one is which!
I think they found their criminals.
Looks like Flim was involved it seems.
4705384
I disagree. Too easy, and also expected. Flim and Flam will happily resort to tricks, double talk, and legal grey areas to make money, but a con of this caliber is a bit above their usual shenanigans.
My interest is piqued once again. I look forward to seeing where the story goes after things are done with the brothers.
Also, Blueblood had a falling out with his parents, eh? That explains so much and yet so little. Definitely hoping Rarity looks into it a bit deeper.
Obviously Flim is the Flam with the portion of an apple on his flank.
Honestly, this fic got boring.
That's quite a falling out if the details are restricted knowledge by royal decree and it even involved changing the family crest.
I have to wonder, given the detail from earlier in the chapter that the Element Bearers are considered a branch of the government and the military, would something restricted to non-civilians only really be restricted from Rarity? My gut says no.
I think this should be Flim and Flam.
Probably more appropriately an aged old stallion. A colt is a young (not yet adult) male horse.
Plot thickens more. I should keep an eye on this to look for the hidden clues... There's always hidden clues...
Man, you just want to slug baddies who have everything tied up legally... which just makes it more satisfying when they get it turned back on them.
Well... things just got even more interesting!
OK, even if they can get away with the "invasion of privacy" thing, Flim and Flam need to be taken down a few pegs at the very least. Might I suggest taking inspiration from Luna's Micro-Series comic? Interesting bit about Blueblood's family seal. A bit short. Keep writing!
4705517
Nah man it's Flam and Flam. You have no idea what you're talking about
4705509
Oh, look, a rifle. What's this, an inscription? Oh my.
It says "Chekhov".
It seems Lady Rarity does not know of the loophole found by Flim and Flam, and that she is not a "civilian".
Hmm. Please, do continue.
4705440
They could still be complicit, even if they didn't organise it.
4706530
Very possibly.
4706523
That, actually has some sense to it. It would certainly explain Mayor Mare's sudden windfall.
4706523 Agreed, I confess, I suspected Cadence as well. But even if that's the case, I for one would be interested in how she pulled it off and her reasons why other then the "I'm the princess of love " excuse. And even how did she know these two were drunk that night.4706523
4705440 Agreed. I think they're guilty of something or hiding something that they don't want Twi or AJ to see. Even at this point they seemed the most likely, I have doubts that they're responsible.
4705440
You do remember this is the world that a pawn shop sold one of the most dangerous artifacts in the world, the Alicorn Amulet. If that can be sold by a regular pony, then a enchanted ring could be found in hooves.
Though honestly, I really think it was Twilight and Applejack did it while they were drunk in fear that they would let go. They're probably more worry their scam operation maybe found out by honest Applejack and magical student to the Princess of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle. A scam maybe tied to the fact they bribed officals to keep them married, like the Mayor (either that or Twilight paid her).
Which brings me to a question to the author that I just realized. Why didn't they interogate the Mayor on who bribed her? I am assuming you can be impeached out of office if caught taking a bribe and fabricating law that is not really law. So they could leave the threat or have Celestia interogate the mayor and boom, instant answer to the whole mess.
What does ANM mean? Because if it's after nightmare moon, then the change in 1990 puts it about a thousand years in the future...
4707405
They tried to interrogate her, remember? She insisted the coins were actually made of chocolate. They told her to eat one, and she did. Even when she was bleeding and probably cracked a tooth, she insisted it was delicious.
Interrogating Mayor Mare would have been a dead end; they weren’t going to break her.
The date of the crest change is given as "1990 ANM". If that's "After Nightmare Moon", shouldn't that be 990, without the 1? She returned after one thousand years, and Rarity's thoughts imply that it was changed within Prince Blueblood's lifetime, so "12 years ago" fits.
Minor setting concern: In-show, Nightmare Moon was an old mare's tale. It seems unlikely that she'd be considered mythical if everyone used a calendar that was dated from the time she last appeared. It might be worth either picking a different calendar system (post-Discord, post-founding, etc) or tweaking the name of this one to reflect the idea that Celestia didn't want people to remember her sister as the Nightmare.
In any event, thanks for the update, and I look forward to reading more!
I don't think that the brothers are involved but I do think that Film is up to no good about which even his brother is unaware. Odds are that Twilight will stumble onto it and, depending on the nature of the felony in question, things could turn violent.
The mystery of Blueblood deepens! I wonder now if it is a cover identity, a name from an extinct noble house that Celestia's top agent uses when in the royal court?
4708764
I think some people make it their life's mission to downvote as many things as humanly (or ponily) possible. Sadly, i've no proof.
Most excellent chapter. Flim and Flam make everything more interesting.
The first time it mentions film and flam it has flam and flam instead:
“Well, Flam and Flam are at their shop"
Just so you know
4705625
4705383
4709269
Flim grew a mustache, making him Flam #2.
That's pretty impressive how the royal library has books on events taking place a thousand years in the future.
Also the whole "You automatically forfeit any rights to privacy upon becoming an arbitrarily important part of the Government, without even so much as having to be informed of said forfeiture" law just seems like it would be BEGGING for somepony to take Celestia to court over it. Even if she WAS an absolute monarch, she can't just arbitrarily ignore public opinion unless she wants to wake up one morning to find that half her country is up in arms against the Sun Tyrant. And "THE PRINCESS IS TRYIN TO TAKE OUR FREEDOMS!" is pretty serious as far as things go.
4708806
Yeah I have no goddamn idea how Trixie possibly escaped punishment for that. I mean even if Twilight begged her mentor to pardon Trixie, she still should have gotten lynched by an angry mob or something, given how she essentially enslaved everyone in town for a week.
4705509
Rarity doesn't really know of her privileges in that regard. Think about it: how often do the Mane Six really use their connections?
4707405
Real answer: rule of funny
In-Story Answer: They did, but didn't get anything out of her. They're too busy trying to solve their problem to really worry about it.
4709621
Except that everypony up at the top, those it effects, agree to it. Remember, Blueblood said chapters earlier that the nobles intentionally make idiots out of themselves to distract the public from issues that Celly doesn't want them focusing on (i.e., the escaped changelings). Most are informed, but the Elements were unexpected additions, and they've stayed off the map enough that it was never an issue before now. Flim and Flam pretty much found a loophole.
well, it's obvious flim knows something. wonder what
4708806
While Trixie isn´t out of the hook, she is a performer; she is supposed to exaggerate and make up stories for the sake of entertainment, and the public is supposed to be mature enough to know that. AJ, Dash and Rarity deliberately antagonized Trixie in her own show (you know, her only source of income), so they kinda deserved the comeuppance.
4707405 do you remember that it was Rainbow Dash that bribed the mayor to keep Twilight & Applejack together for awhile because she thought it was funny. Unless that was a similar story and not this one. Pretty sure though.
Hahaha. Just because you have a fee press doesn't mean you have a smart press. Flim and Flam hiding behind a legalistic defense is snigger-worthy. Not that AJ approves.
Oh, and Twi turns it around on them. Lovely!
No juicy secret is safe with Rarity around. She just loves snoop-ping too damn much.
I know I'm new to the story (just read it through today) but to all of the people who aare saying that it was Twilight:
If I were writing this, and my plan was to have the ending be that it was Twilight, I would be working really hard to change that due to how many people are theorizing that it is. As an author, you want the ending to be special, and not anticipated.
I would absolutely love if this is how the story went (provided it just wasn't thrown down ala Twilight did it the end). And I hope the Author isn't changing any plans they had for this story based purely on the comments.
And yes, I am prepared for a torrent of down votes. I just dont care
AMAZING story. Great pacing, really well rounded characters, and very compelling plot (hehe...plot)This is very quickly jumping up my list of "best fanfic"
With Celestia's help, couldn't Twilight and Applejack pretend that the entire wedding was a big scam of some sorts, providing an answer as to why those two were shut down unexpectedly?
4896685
If they have pictures of the wedding, it wouldn't be to hard to imagine they procured a pirated copy of the tape, or even a legal copy. Let that copy spill and Twilight and AJ become a laughing stock, publicly humiliated, and since they got married in Las Pegasus in a public place. It'd be completely legal since if the copy was legally bought then technically any "friends" who saw the tape wouldn't violate copyright laws. And if those "friends" happened to be journalists, then well let's say that it'd have been better for them to just do what Twilight did in this chapter.
4847196
But there are already Hangover crosses. Several. Dozens.
*standing ovation*
Bravo! Bravo!
You neatly captured the essence of Flim and Flam. Too epic!!
Umm, this personal matter is in no way important to the government, as far as I can see
Equestria has 'Patriot Act' laws? Against what, zebra terrorists?
Remarks and corrections:
> It’s reason for the change has been restricted
"Its" reason. Though technically it should be "[The] reason for [its] change"
The first time Flim and Flam showed up they did nothing wrong. They had a legit invention that did the work faster than the apple family could, and only failed once they turned off an essential component to keep up with three times the workforce the Apples employ. They did nothing but push their obvious advantage for as much as it was worth, while in the end the Apples and Mane Six prevented innovation and enforced a monopoly. Later they made a placebo drug and outright conned everyone, but that hadn't happened at this point. But that was after trying to make money legitimately and being chased out of town.
It sounds like it was designed by a six-year-old.
4707510
Age of New Monarchy?
Hoping Twilight would resort to Plan BB.
Only this far into the story. While I think Flim and Flam have something going on that's tangentially related to the main conflict (which could be another clue in the overall mystery), I don't think they're the ones who forced AJ and Twi together.
5163474
Pretty sure it means that if the person is an important part of the government then that person forfeits their privacy.
That's a dumb rule.
First off why would you allow people to abuse the likeness of government officials?
That's just asking to be associated with unsavory types like Flim and Flam.
Secondly you don't need to suspend privacy laws, if nobles are publicly making fools of themselves, and don't bother counter suing.