Rough Diamond (Unedited)
Celestia's eyelid twitched in frustration as she glared at the ruined document on her desk. The culprit of this heinous crime was none other then her own sister!
“Luna! Look at what you made me do!” She demanded in vain as he sister simply ignored her.
The darker alicorn was far too busy skipping in place rapidly while squealing in excitement, “A Dream Walker, Sister! A Dream Walker!” the moon princess giggled merrily, “There hasn't been one to awaken since before my Banishment!”
Celestia looked at her sister dully before placing a hoof to her forehead, “I know you are excited Luna, and while this is a momentous occurrence; I really do not see why you need to barge into my office and ruin my paperwork!”
Her only reply was more squealing.
The elder sister sighed and frowned. The younger sister may be happy about the news but the re-emergence of Dream Walkers would have long reaching repercussions.
---
A day after the rather hectic series of events in which he encountered the three 'Crusaders' and the filly he learned was named 'Dinky' Skywinder couldn't help but thank the spirits. After leaving Dinky's home his journey to his own residence was uneventful and he had been able to spend the next day helping his parents set up the shop without interruptions.
A full twenty four hours of peace and safety from the madness of Pony Kind.
But now he must face the greatest challenge a young transfer student could possibly be confronted with... returning to school after a weekend...
---
Rays of morning sunlight pierced the veil of the intricately decorated fine silk drapes, casting their radiance on the restless form of a pink coated filly. She tossed and turned atop the fluffy mattress of her four-poster bed and kicked her delicate sheets off herself before pulling them back over herself without even opening her eyes.
Suddenly her eyes shot open as she let out a gasp and buried her face in her pillow as she let out a groan of frustration. The feeling of that Wild-Colt's lips against her own and the feeling of his tongue exploring her mouth had been plaguing her for the last two days. The memory insistently gnawed at her mind to the point she had barely slept since the incident.
It was bad enough he had kissed her at all; but he had done more then just kiss her. That kiss had been her first, and that colt had stolen it from her. Worse still he had even had the gall to use his tongue! The pampered filly couldn’t believe the humiliation he had inflicted on her.
While she admitted she had indeed been the one to instigate the confrontation, and had spoken poorly of his upbringing, certain things just where not done! Kissing a filly out of the blue with no explanation and no apology before fleeing the scene was one of those things!
But it wasn't the humiliation that annoyed her.
Her own mind betrayed her and refused to allow her to sleep as it replayed that moment over and over, each sensation just as intense as it had been the first time. The tingling sensation echoed over her lips as if a ghost of Skywinder's own kept brushing against them, leaving them desire his touch again.
She hadn't been get any sleep over the last two days and even worse, had completely failed to say focused enough to feed herself or even hold a conversation. A part of her was amazed she hadn't been a walking disaster whenever she retired to the bathroom...
She was Diamond Tiara, daughter of Filthy Rich, heir to his fortune and future proprietor of Barnyard Bargains, one of the most profitable enterprises throughout Equestria, and yet here she found herself unable to think of anything else besides some no-name colt! Who, to make matters worse, was raised by Gryphon Tribals from some Flank-End region of Equus.
Yet she couldn't bring herself to hate him. She, the one who had hated and bullied anyone mercilessly for something as juvenile as not having a Cutie Mark, couldn't hate the colt who stole her first kiss. That brief contact had conveyed as much as if he had spoken to her for ten minutes.
He hadn't acted out of malice or anger, she hadn't hurt his feelings or pride. All he wanted was for her to leave him alone.
It was a strange feeling knowing that she, the terror of Ponyville Schoolyard, the one that had belittled every last one of her classmates for having less than her for every reason under Celestia’s Sun, hadn’t even made an impact on somepony whose very upbringing she had insulted. For the first time she felt like she had encountered somepony who truly had the will to not bend their knee to her.
It both scared and excited her.
For the first time in her short life her go-to tactic to assert her dominance, a tactic that had never failed her in all the years she had used it had backfired. And it did so utterly. The only reason Diamond felt she could maintain her carefully crafted superiority was due to the small fortune of herself, Silver Spoon and Skywinder being the only ones present at the time. The only way word could have gotten out was if Skywinder was secretly a blabber mouth or Featherweight had snapped a photo.
Since her maids weren't gossiping about it and she hadn't seen the flash of a camera going off she knew neither event had happened...
On that thought she realised she never did figure out how the maids managed to keep up with all the latest gossip when they never left the mansion...
Still, that left figuring out how to deal with Skywinder. She couldn't just leave him alone; if she was seen leaving the new guy alone after being so unrelenting to the rest they would see it as a chink in her armour. If that happened it was only a matter of time before they rebelled.
If she couldn't verbally abuse him into submission like she usually did that logically meant she should resort to a physical approach, but that presented it's own issues. First among those was the fact that hitting colts was simply something a young mare of her breeding simply shouldn't do, not even a farm working pony like Apple Bloom would baulk at the idea of physical violence against the fairer sex.
The second was that Skywinder wasn't like other colts. While it was true some grew up to be physical powerhouses like Apple Bloom's aptly named older brother, Big Macintosh, Skywinder was already one of the most physically imposing ponies in the class, matching Apple Bloom for sheer muscle.
Add the fact he was raised by a male-dominant society and you get a colt that could not only over powering her but wasn't afraid to do so...
That... both terrified her and made her stomach flutter in excitement. Like any Earth Pony Diamond Tiara prided herself on her physical prowess, so even if she lead the pampered lifestyle of an heiress she still envied Apple Bloom for being stronger then her. That was part of the reason she singled her out more then their other classmates.
But for some reason the idea that a colt, the fairer sex, being able to overwhelm her strength brought the opposite feelings to what the other filly did. He brought her feelings of yearning and longing she couldn't understand.
She had always looked at colts as nothing more then tools, ways to help her rise further up the social food chain, hopefully high enough to have the ear of the Princesses, and to produce an heir of her own some day. Mere pieces on the board to manipulate however she desired.
Now this one was changing the rules on her. What she thought was just another pawn had turned out to have as much control over the game as she did... and she found herself desiring that challenge, when she had so often just been annoyed and beaten whatever resistance she had encountered into submission before.
To make her feel even worse Diamond Tiara remembered her heritage as the proud descendant of a long line of Earth Ponies dating back to at least the banishing of Princess Luna. Such a rich history and here she was pining for a Pegasus who considered a tribe of savages, from farther south then where the Pegasi gather the migratory birds during Winter Wrap Up, to be his family.
She wasn't sure how but she knew that she had to keep the colt from challenging her authority constantly. There was no debate in her mind about the necessity of her staying on top at school.
As a maid entered her room to announce the morning, and the need to prepare for the day of school to come, the heiress reached her conclusion. If she couldn't dominate him by undermining his own self worth and brute force wasn't a solution, then she still had a third option.
She would convince the colt to join her, if she could make him throw his support behind her then nopony in the school would dare try and challenge her again. A happy smirk crossed her lips at the idea of having the colt standing side by side with her as she looked down on all the lesser ponies...
---
“Not interested.”
Diamond Tiara's bottom eyelid twitched in frustration. She had just wasted the last twenty minutes intercepting Skywinder and presenting him with all the benefits of being her left-hoof stallion. And he responded by rejecting the offer the exact moment she finished the last syllable of her offer.
The colt just sat there impassively as the heiress sputtering as she tried to get her brain to understand this turn of events. It was her friend who regained her senses first and made her presence remembered by poking the colt in the chest.
“Don't you know who you're talking to? She's Diamond Tiara! The richest and best connected filly in town! You should feel honoured that she's being so nice to you, Featherbrain.” Silver Spoon hissed, her hoof jabbing the colt with every word.
Skywinder shrugged his wings and replied, “I should care, why?”
The grey Earth Pony snarled, “Because a Cloudmuzzle is hardly deserving of her attention let alone one that is a mere colt.” She poked him again, though this time it was more of a shove.
The pegasus barely budged, which Silver Spoon hadn't been expecting. Unlike Diamond Tiara she had no reservations about getting physical with a colt. She also didn't expect to find herself falling onto her back after Skywinder threw her off with enough force to take her off her hooves.
“I don’t know who you do things around here.” The gryphon raised Pegasus growled as he loomed over Silver Spoon, “But where I’m from, we don’t lash out at another without reason.” His eyes narrow as he leaned his snout down to within an inch of the filly’s, “But if another attacks first, we are free to strike back with as much force as we feel appropriate.”
With that the colt flicked his tail in irritation and proceeded to trot towards the schoolyard. Silver Spoon rolled back onto her hooves as he called back, “Be glad we also teach our males not to hurt the females.”
Silver gulped slightly and glanced at Diamond Tiara, “Well… that could have gone better.” Even as she said that she couldn’t help but think about how strong Skywinder seemed to be. She also couldn’t stop thinking about that hint of rainbow light she saw in his eyes the moment after she prodded him…
“Yeah…” Diamond Tiara snorted, “I think you just made my plan even harder to pull off.” She observed with a grunt as the two followed the colt towards the school, hoping to at least get into class before the bell chimed.
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U should update more often.
4592229 Yes, I really should
Oh hey. This updated. Heh. This story continues to amuse me.
Oooo, interesting insight on Diamond and pony society at the same time! I find it part amusing and part cool that she actually takes pride in her Earth Pony strength, despite her upbringing.
After finding out that stallions are treated as the fairer sex in Equestria, I was expecting Skywinder to have to put up with that kind of treatment. Apparently the colt just naturally exudes the kind of strength and individuality that says, "I'm strong, don't coddle me."
So…he is a dream walker? what does that means? That he can walk into others dreams just like Luna?
Achievement unlocked:Dere-Dere
God, Author, You are a fucking butt! Leaving this story out to dry for such a period of time and now coming back and putting more out just to leave us high and dry again... why are you so evil?!
Wow, about time, this idea is very interesting, but like some other said before, you should update more often, or at least, warn us that you will take some time to publish, anyway, although the chapter was short, it also was very entertaining.
Excellent, a new chapter, and one with a lot of exposition in it as well. What I really love here is the culture clash; on the one hand we have a culture where the females wear not only the trousers but also the crown and spurs, and on the other hand we have a culture wear the males wear not only the trousers but also ridiculously enormous hats with corks hanging off the edge on pieces of string. By the way, will any philosophers from the Great Southern Colony be making a cameo.... please?
Either that or the exportation of criminals joke? They're my favourites!
And all shall be Bruce, and all shall be Bruce, and all manner of things shall be Bruce!
forget the dream walker stuff. Just have this story be about colts and fillies and school crushes.
And so we reach another update. Still as enjoyable as from the beginning, although I am a bit disappointed by how long it took to get out two-thousand words.
I guess you can't rush perfection, or something damn close to it
I like his "how about no" attitude, refreshing
Also yay for update!
4592477 I have an uncle named Bruce
Instant thumbs down for the ridiculous gender-role-flip trope. Greek gods and little green apples, what a farce.
4592773 Really? So the fact I actually took the time to reason out why those social dynamics would have developed never crossed your mind? Keeping in mind this include biological and social development cues in the reasoning.
Oh lordy, waiting for updates is the thing that's going to kill me. It always pains me to see a fic with good potential just get cancelled or stopped for the writers personal reasons. I understand in the end but it doesn't make me feel better. It's good to know this story isn't dead. Made my day...er...night.
4592806 At least my updates for this fic are more common then for my second most popular fic ever...
Which has had 3-4 year gaps between updates.
i was okay with this chapter, the only negative things i have to say about it are the very few and far between spelling errors and how short it is. which means you did a much more fantastic job than most fics i've read!
I'm super happy to see that this got updated though I was a bit sad that it was mostly exposition on Diamond Tiara's part. But! It was still interesting and gave us more of a view of the setting so I was happy to take it. Glad to see this is getting continued! I'm interested to see what this dream walker business is coming up with Luna. Seems like it'll have a lot of room for fun developments and character interaction with an excited Princess with millennia old expectations and a griffon raised tribal colt. Ha!
It seems that Silver Spoon's reaction was a little too mild considering you implied she was a physical bully. I can see her being scared due to his tribal/griffon background but if she was a physical bully then she wouldn't be afraid of getting hit and would certainly be a lot more indignant at having her pride wounded by a mere colt. Even if she has a glass jaw she'd be all bluster up till she was hit. So that end of the story didn't fit the setting you're writing in my eyes.
Some things I noticed editing wise: () = original text " " = suggested change
(She hadn't been get any sleep over the last two days and even worse, had completely failed to say focused enough)
"She hadn't been able to get any sleep over the last two days and even worse, had completely failed to stay focused enough"
(shouldn't do, not even a farm working pony like Apple Bloom would baulk at the idea of physical violence against the fairer sex.)
"shouldn't do. Even a farm working pony like Apple Bloom would baulk at the idea of physical violence against the fairer sex."
(you get a colt that could not only over powering her)
"you get a colt that could not only over power her"
(I don’t know who you do things around here.)
“I don’t know how you do things around here.”
(But where I’m from, we don’t lash out at another without reason.)
“But where I’m from, we don’t lash out at one another without reason.”
"That... both terrified her and made her stomach flutter in excitement." and "It both scared and excited her."
These are used within 6-7 'paragraphs' of each other. They both fit but using them together so soon feels stale.
(But where I’m from, we don’t lash out at another without reason.” His eyes narrow as he leaned his snout down to within an inch of the filly’s, “But if another attacks first, we are free to strike back with as much force as we feel appropriate.)
You say "But..." then "But..." for these two things. I think it'd make more sense if it was "But.." then "And..."
“But where I’m from, we don’t lash out at another without reason.” His eyes narrow as he leaned his snout down to within an inch of the filly’s, “And if another attacks first, we are free to strike back with as much force as we feel appropriate.”
The conflict within Diamond Tiara is interesting. After so much time dominating the colts and fillies in class, and her rich upbringing making her feel superior in every possible way, along comes a pony who has an upbringing she could easily look down upon, but Skywinder is someone who brushes off her insults in the best way, and someone who makes her knees feel weak, and she feels she needs to bring this pony under control at all costs. I can't wait to see how this crush/power battle goes.
I love this chapter. I find Diamond crushing so hard on Skywinder to be hillarious. I really hope that the next chapter comes sooner.
4592773 logic dictates that females would be seen as being "better" since pretty much all of equestria's heroes and ruler types are powerful females.
I can't believe nobody saw this, but I think DiamondTiara & Silver spoon are awakening their "Sub"sides and see Sidewinder as the "Dom" they want.Or at least D.T. does...
Or maybe I'm just seeing pink elephants
4593374 nope pretty sure your spot on with DT
So you want to make a group so people can make side fics? But side fics of what? This Gryphon-raised Pegasus seems like an anomalous occurrence. We also don't know what you're planning to do with the story so we don't want to get in the way.
I LIKE this fic, and I COULD write a side fic, but I wouldn't know where to start.
That being said, please write more.
4593502 Fair enough.
But I'm world building and I've never been one to hog a sandbox to myself.
So once people feel they know enough to write side stories I want to embrace them in doing so.
Very nice to see this story update. I quite like the earth pony psychological focus on physical strength in establishing both the pecking order and the attractiveness of mates. A very nice, very logical touch there.
Beyond that, I might be interested into delving into this setting... but I've honestly forgotten most of the details. You update so infrequently, I'd even forgotten about the gender role swap until after you mentioned it.
Granted, I'm hardly one to talk, and I can just reread the story, but if you do want to make a group, you'll probably want to include a thread with the Cliff's Notes version of the setting details and deviations from baseline.
In any case, looking forward to more.
First off, I really like this story and I hope to see more of it, I'd REALLY love to see what happens next!
Second, I noticed quite a few spelling errors in the chapters, but I'll address them all later.
Third, I have no clue what "gender role swap" means, so I'm lost on that.
Fourth, keep up the great work!
4593336 All logic dictates is that we have only seen the female heroes because the show has only focused on the female character leads. Judging Equestrian culture as matriarchal based on its heroines or its rulers would be like looking at Queen Victoria and Joan of Arc and concluding that Europe was matriarchal. They are the far end of the bell curve.
Contrariwise, the male characters are routinely in positions requiring great strength or high risk-- Heavy farm labor(Big Mac), Law enforcement(the Sheriff in Appaloosa), construction (construction ponies in Ponyville and in Cloudsdale), the military (not ONE female guardspony yet), Captain of the Guard (Shining Armor)...
I know it gets all the latter-day metrosexuals hot and sweaty fantasizing about a world where men are the weaker sex, but get over it.
And if you want to play the species card: it takes a special kind of stupid to look at equines-- a species where the biggest, strongest stallion gets to mount all the mares he wants--- and conclude that it's a matriarchal society.
4594453 im not on the boat with the whole of equestria, but look a ponyville. most of the inhabitants are female and all of diamond tiara's male figures she sees as weak and pathetic who she can easily win over with charm. so unless i read it wrong it seems that it is DT opinion that men are weaker, not all equines.
my personal opinion is that the social setup of equestria is fairly equal.
4594453 Well it's called fanfiction for a reason. The show has no real canon save for what the creators decide to share. Even then, the fan can create form what ever they want with it.
Edit: If you want to look at the reality however, let's look at real horses. Herds consists of one mare being the alpha/boss mare, one or two stallions (depending on age) that protect the herd (It would be normal for them to do the heavy lifting) and the rest are mares and foals.
4594557 verisimilitude. LEARN IT. LIVE IT. OBEY IT.
4595166 What do you want? Do you want me to write a dozen or so page essay on my reasoning as to why this social structure would arise in this given instance?
I do like constructive criticism, I've received plenty from others, but at this point I'm wondering if you even have anything useful to say or not.
4595402 Just try to ignore him, he is the embodiment of his name.
4593181
Well in psychology it makes sense a series of studies had prove that a dominatrix love well dominated…but the only thing she loves more is to be dominated…someone that actually offer her a challenge and make the 'game' interesting they even don't want the game to end they want to be put on edge to always had their best of games, this time with an objective and an obstacle in other words it makes their world more colorful, and if they loss they don't care in fact they depth complete to the one to finally beat them, and embrace their submission with a smile and a song.
In other word they are good sports and in some case even WANT to be dominated for the one worth it and became he or she personal pet.
……So if Sky keep that up and actually 'beat' Diamond in a way that she had no control of him in ANY form, then Diamond probably will had a severe crush almost reaching stalker levels.
So…good job man you made something very reasonable and with a lot of sense (I mean the author in case that last thing got confused)
I think it's amazing when an author writes Diamond Tiara in such a way that I don't hate her constantly throughout the whole story.
It's even more so when I can, dare I say, like her character.
So, bravo, mate
4596821 what are u a psychologist?
because if u are I wouldn't be surprised.
4603353
Close I'm an animator…in training, part of our job is do our homework and investigated A LOT about psychology so our creations are tridimensional, so of course we read about conduct, traumas, how people react, types of phobia, you named and we can get as depth as we need to place those things on our character and made them come to life
…Plus a good friend of my brother IS psychologist and one time I ask how a dominatrix behave, and what makes them tick, and she told me that interest enough they indeed had a passion for power but the only thing they love more than power is if someone TAKE their power, like I say it spice things, make the 'game' interesting and if they loss some of them get obsess with the winner, wanting to be with them, to be their…'pets' It weird I know but that is how their game is, and how they like it to be.
4603447 sweet! I always wanted to be an animator.
4603866
Well then start drawing because you will being doing that A LOT, and remember, never expect perfection the first try, use the first draw as base and go improve it, step by step
There are two problems with this that I'm going to address. The first is the spelling, "balk" does not have a "u". The second is the word "not", to balk is to hesitate, to be unwilling to do something; as such the word "not" really shouldn't be there.
The reading fun has been doubled!
That was fun. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
4596558
Personally, I find myself agreeing with him on most points, though I do also agree that he is perhaps a little too aggressive with pushing his opinions. He stands by his opinions though from what I've seen, so he's at least honest with them even if he pushes them a little hard.
As for my thoughts? Anything is fair, as this is fanfiction and headcanon rules here; it's not canon that Equestria is a matriarchy, but it does make for an interesting story every now and then, and it's so there is plenty of reason to explore the idea. Fanfiction is all about exploring ideas, after all, viability or canonicity of those ideas is irrelevant as long as the story itself is good to read.
That being said, I personally feel RC is technically right about the whole "judging the society solely based on the heroines directly presented through the show" part, even if he does seem to be targeting the wrong people with it; he should be targeting the people who think that their theories about the show are canon, rather than the people who think that their theories about the show are interesting and would make a good story. I can agree with crusading against people who think that their headcanon is canon, but not so much against people who are just making perfectly good literature with their ideas/theories.
Anyway, the show has shown both genders in just about every position and there hasn't been any indication that either gender is less capable or respected, so I'm going to go with headcanoning egalitarian personally. I don't agree with alternative theories, but I can respect them as long as the people using them are reasonable with it.
4753864 Very true my friend.
In the case of this story I chose this set up simply because I thought it would be fun to write it. In other stories of mine you'll find completely different social dynamics, like in Gundam Friendship where the genders are equal... but everyone is racists against Unicorns.
This story in particular is an experiment made of other experiments. It isn't something I would have never attempted if it wasn't fanfiction where I can test the limits.
4754775 when's the next update?
4849436
No idea
Really enjoying this so far. The characterization is pretty good, as are the descriptions. I'm a bit meh on the dreamwalker stuff, but hopefully that won't end up distracting the main story line.
That said, I really wish that ridiculous social info-dump hadn't been tossed in from out of nowhere. I really dislike when I'm reading a story that sticks mostly to canon, and then out of freaking nowhere we have a massive AU concept tossed in. I've just never understood why stories like this do that when there's nothing to suggest it in canon. It's basically just a bunch of fanon being mistaken for canon, and it seems to keep popping up.
Lol. So alpha.
It's funny really to see diamond tiara struggle with her feelings
. How long until the next chapter is out 