Diamond Tiara lives a perfect life. She can spot weakness in anypony from a mile away. Almost too well.
Special thanks to PropMaster for both the story idea and the prereading.
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shortskirtsandexplosions
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And so our story begins...
I remember what happened the last time SS&E wrote a foal-story.
This is going to be good. Or really awful. No middle ground!
Huh. That's... odd. And totally unrelated to anything I could have possibly been involved in.
Seriously, though, I'm loving that I can just throw random ideas out at you and then they become awesome little gems like Dulcet and now this. So awesome.
Poor D.T. can spot the weakness in anypony, including herself, and she doesn't know it but, she's not liking what she sees.
I can't quite tell waht this is about, but it's fun to read so I'm a stickin
this was... eh.
It is very well written from a technical perspective, but ...
I couldn't really get into the story. For one, I think you're writing DT and SS as very agressive and bullying, much more so than in the show. It feels a lot like it's exaggerated for effect, is what I'm trying to say.
I also don't like how you write SS, trying constantly to get positive reactoions from DT, almost like a follower. It's true that she doesn't have as stong of a personality as DT, but I still think you draw her as much more subdued than she would be.
As for the story itself, it's okay, but not very fascinating. It felt like it dragged on for more than necessary, but not by much, honestly. The bigger problem is that I failed to get immersed. But then again, that might be more because of the problems I mentioned earlier.
In the end, I couldn't really emphasise with any of the characters...
Either way, it's well written from a technical standpoint, and a lot of the problems I mentioned are probably more subjective ones, so I bet someone else will manage to get enjoyment out of this fic.
~Sind
4005129
I donno. This caught my eye, but after "Sweetie Brick", I'm really kinda reluctant to read anything more by shortskirtsandexplosions. I'll stick it in my read later and think about it...
--Sweetie Belle
You wrote a rather wonderful story. The heightened levels of mean felt more as if you were to play up the many subtle nuances on her gestures, her tone.
Silver Spoon can do whatever she likes to ponies, so long as she leaves those weak, and helpless. animals alone. The thought of such a defenseless kitty being squished by that stupid hulking carriage, not like she ever needed the dumb thing before, walking to School was much more fun.
One part was rather confusing, not sure if it was intentional or not:
I believe you meant "do". That scene just doesn't work with a negative. It's already implied by his portrayal, at least in tone and his sheer determination in his servitude towards his Young Master, that he would habitually apologize on a very regular basis.
I rather liked the relationship these two have, she very "blink and you miss it" type of relationship. Which a lot of this fic does as it punishes though who merely skim and don't take time to open themselves to the characters.
I liked Scootaloo's reaction to Diamond, it's hard to tell but it could of been many faces she'd a given Diamond during her curious glaces at Di. Possibly noticed the tone, the empathy she seemed to have betraying what she typically sees Diamond as, puzzled by her odd non-Diamond Tiara'ness behavior.
I won't go into too much, but I'm going to tell you now, this story requires people to have a certain level of heart and understanding to really get what you tried to do here. Diamond Tiara, a feeling I've shared all too much in my youth given my helplessness then to save/protect the lives of those over dependent creatures from your family, friends, and worst, the neighborhood kids, whom would treat the animals as so much disposable trash. I still think back to those assholes who sped up purposely and aimed to hit a very trusting and loving white and black cat. It was so happy, if I would of simply taken it with me home that night instead of talking to my friend on his steps, it'd at least had been able to have a better life even if my brother would of put up a stink then. Instead, it was hit, limping and meowing, crying as it probably wondered what hit it and why it was feeling so weak. I raced across the street and the poor thing was still still nuzzling as I passed my hand over its face, purring like what happened to it just then would go away.
It cried so much, and all I could do was hold the same cat that was following me around and made me yell at my friend for trying to throw a peddle at it. It died in my arms. I don't think I've ever felt so much pain as knowing I could of done something for it. Instead minutes later that same ball of joy was limping on its side trying to get on to the grass over the edge of the side of the street, all I could do is apologize and comfort it as best I could till it shortly passed away as its purrs became a few rapid hacked coughs. It mewled and all I could do is set it on the grass and go home. The shit people do at night if they feel they can get away with it, it truly sickens me.
Anyhow, apologies. Far as the story goes, It's really not too hard to see how she feels inside despite the masks she dawns every morning so none may see the pain she carries. Being in the position she's in, the company she keeps, and the big couple bits with Spoon and the ending, I think you did an incredible job. People would be surprised the kinds of things hide in a person's heart, even one such as Diamond Tiara, who claims to have no feelings, is emotionally crushed at 14:32 of Twilight Time by being excluded by Sweetie Belle and the others.
Also, thanks. I always wondered what you could do with her character, and it certainly didn't disappoint. At first, seeing another DT story, I had assumed this was going to be another 3k story for EFNW. I'm rather happy it wasn't, I really enjoyed the extra 3k.
And thanks for putting the idea into his head, Props.
Anyhow, catch see 'round!
4005347 It's safe. And no Sweetie'buse either. Though, it's a story about reading between the lines. Some parts aim to be pretty clear, others are more subtle. Last two have neon lights to them though. It works. Well, more like last 3, I had forgotten there being one in between the one before last.
I...
I don't really know what I just read...
I mean, I can't really see the whole picture here, I think I've got it, but I'm so clueless.
DT's got the ability to see flaws in everyone, so she uses everyone else's flaws to hide her feelings about her own? At least, that's what I'm getting from it. But then, that's just the typical bully, and then we've got just a story defining Tiara as a bully
I'm no good at these "interpret-me" stories..
...help?..
A fascinating character study. I wish Diamond Tiara was this complicated and compelling in canon... though, of course, she probably never will be. Can't muddy the moral waters too much with designated antagonists.
I do like how Tiara's apology could be to just about anyone, and thus is to everyone. And Filthy Rich's soliloquy on flaws... Arrogant, yes, but a wonderful look into his mind.
Also, Randolph the acrobutler seems far too not-awesome, but that's probably for dramatic effect.
On a lighter note, I can't help but imagine the mare Filthy chewed out as pony Carmen Sandiego, which is kind of fantastic.
In all, a good read, one that leaves a lot of gaps for the reader to fill in. Thank you for it.
And this marks your fiftieth story.
Congratulations.
I can handle her being mean to the crusaders, that's normal, I can handle her insulting her butler, I can handle her being disruptive in class, but no one, and I mean NO ONE. Insults Derpy like that and gets away with it!
Hm...
Deep
Okay well
Silver spoon was eh
Everyone else was really good
It was strange how filthy rich wasn't necesarrily a bad pony
If that's so, then how did DT become so outwardly mean
But frail inside
Perhaps she does it in order to be accepted
She's mean to others and says stuff she doesn't really believe
So that she is higher than them
She's so scared of not being accepted for who she is
That this is the method she uses to be accepted
However
It doesn't work
But she doesn't know that
Deep
4006247
Some people are just terrible. Most bullies aren't the kids with issues at home (unless their parents actually teach them to push other kids around), they're the ones that get everything they want and hear way too much about how special and wonderful they are.
Well done.
It's about smegging time someone did something with Randolph. I coulda sworn he was going to be the next meme.
How could they do that if they were dead?
I. want. to. shoot. Diamon. Butthat. (tiara)
Nice story though!
4005432
Thanks. Maybe I'll read it when I get a chance, then. Just didn't really want to risk reading something else like that.
--Sweetie Belle
This story likes the word petite. And so do I.
Oh, and I also like it when writers attempt to give Diamond Tiara some depth.
Lemme guess. Mommy showed up, right?
Heh... Nice end.
Very nice ending to it all.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Was good until the ending
Will there be more? I feel as if she is learning something... Though she is not really learning... Or perhaps her being mean to ponys is her way of making them stronger? But still its hurting her just as much as it is hurting others...
I'd like to read more about this myself... Its an intersting story and I'd love to see how it could change her....
4006367I agree with you to an extent
There ARE bullies like that
But I feel like the ones with issues at home are more common
I think
Regardless, both kinds exist
Jesus man, how do you write so fast?
4007931 No... tons of bullies really are just narcissists.
4008219 Guess I can see that, there might be more of that kind of bully
That's my least favorite kind
Very interesting story, but I can't help but feel like there's something missing. When you tagged this as "sad" I thought it would go deeper than "DT is mean to everypony becuase she's insecure," which is kinda sad, but so esoteric in fanfiction that it's practically a given.
That scene when Randolph wouldn't let DT go in the house was the major problem. The way it was framed, I thought for sure that something really bad had happened, like maybe Filth Rich was dead. When it turned out he was just yelling at somepony about a nondescript business deal, that didn't elicit any emotion.
This is marked at complete, but I hope you'll consider a chapter 2 to answer some unanswered questions, for instance, where did DT's darkness come from if not her father? He doesn't come across as neglectful, abusive, or loftily expectant.
4008238 Hey! A variation on my profile picture! MYEEEEEEH
At first, I was like "Hmm, sociopathic DT? That's new." But then there's that one scene at the end with the stuffed cat....
Maybe it's because I had low self-esteem as a kid, as well as being naturally meek and wallflower-ish, but I could never understand the "don't try to raise yourself up, tear everyone down to your level instead!" mentality. I know that "misery loves company" and all that, but it seems self-destructive. You verbally rip people to shreds on a regular basis, but then fall into depression when no one wants to hang out with you, and you don't know why.
Meh.
I have no idea what I read.
But I love it.
I feel like there needs to be a 2nd chapter, or at least some closure.;.. feels like a great start to a story, but it rings hollow on its own.
A little confused
This was nice. It's always good to see a one-dimensional character like Diamond Tiara (or Gilda, or Blueblood, etc.) given some depth, and it was handled very well here. And the fact that she continues to be cruel even after and in spite of her moment with the stuffed animal is especially potent; gives it a sense of realism.
My only complaint - one that seems to be echoed by a few others - is that Silver Spoon comes off as a little simplistic and obnoxious. I suppose she was really just a foil to Tiara's... epiphany? Maybe it's just a headcanon thing: I've always assumed that Silver Spoon was the more decent one. Speaking of which...
d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net/image_cache/1305755937887281.gif
Pretty well done, my dear Skirts.
There was a decent maturity to Diamond Tiara, but there was still the CHILD, which was more important, I find. Too often are the foals written as teenagers instead of the 10-12 year olds that they actually are in the show. You kept a good level of childish innocence while portraying the haughty pseudo-intelligence of a bully.
The scene where she came to terms with the morning was brilliant as well, it left a decent emotional impact.
All in all, fabulous story. I wasn't too keen of Silver Spoon, who seemed like too much of a bootlicker here, but it does sort of fit my own headcanon for her (which I explained rather poorly in one of my awful stories, Golden/Silver Shine), where she puts on a fake act to live off of what Diamond's got, like some sort of little charisma parasite.
Nice work, Skirtykins.
Damn DT n Silver
I hope they suffer eternal pain in Tartarus
Let them be eaten by pigs for all i care...
4008457
The nondescript business partner is DT's mother. Everyhting else in the story makes sense if you realize that.
Pretty bleak stuff.
Everyone's complaining about Silver's portrayal when she acted like exactly this kind of yes-mare in Twilight Time, the most recent episode.
Fanon's fine and dandy, guys, but your OOC is the show's IC...
I have to confess I didn't notice what Grimy pointed out until I read that comment (spoiler warning).
Good job with the story! Favorite and upvote!
4006730
Diamond Tiara needs to have the living fuck beaten out of her. Mercilessly. For days on end. Until her psyche shatters like her body.
I want to rage quit diamond in the face
4011462 I WILL PAY YOU TO LET ME BUCK HER IN THE FACE WITH MY HOOVES AS HARD AS I CAN!!!
NORMALLY, I WOULD NEVER HIT A MARE, BUT THAT GODAMN...THING...IS HARDLY A 'MARE!!!'
Sorry, I get carried away.
4009693 Dat gif, though! That is so what I wanna do right now.
